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How to train your dragon

1:43

but replace dragons with ball?

1:45

Know literally there are balls

1:47

in this movie we saw

1:49

Rural the Barbarian so you

1:51

know at that mean. Can.

3:00

You. Talk about the first

3:02

animated movie ever! On.

3:05

Hate of this? Get me. The

3:09

Barbarians That a weekly barbarians descended from

3:12

a long line of the strongest barbarian

3:14

to goes on a quest. To.

3:18

Be. A bad guy. I don't

3:20

know. This movie is our it's

3:23

weird. it's. Really just a

3:25

simple kids movies but with

3:27

a lot of system Fox

3:29

and like I mentioned, Balls.

3:35

It's like what a twelve year old

3:37

my do in his bedroom. Good

3:40

friend of a movie I can. Feel

3:48

like the curses are just not

3:50

improve willy nilly and I loved

3:52

it. And to break down this

3:55

would be denied. I. Have to

3:57

the best through the best that amazing experts to

3:59

the best. Buried experts leave organization

4:01

to chase them as. Soon

4:22

as a beautiful day in New York,

4:25

put sat at a hotel room and

4:27

I was a piece of shit for

4:29

you. Jason

4:31

Mall. I felt

4:33

like. This. Movie was going

4:36

to be right up your our.

4:38

Time. I

4:42

take offense. To that I feel like

4:44

that the media thing you've ever said

4:46

to me. Either

4:51

you want to be like are

4:53

are gonna love this I think

4:55

people thought you might a citizen.

4:59

I don't. Think I've

5:01

designed subjected to be just

5:03

as much as you are

5:05

serve. Ah

5:08

not like with I didn't like

5:10

I say you know it. Isn't.

5:13

Really The first. The animated movies yes the

5:15

first enemy Really I was like okay cool

5:17

animation movie. great I love him his movies

5:19

book, put it on and within I'm going

5:21

to say one minute my one of my

5:23

very first nodes the is what the fuck

5:25

is this. Does

5:28

jumped out at you but I'll tell

5:30

you I know you watch this in

5:33

your hotel room. Or.

5:35

Next, cohost. Well, we watch it

5:37

together while eating brunch. In

5:41

a restaurant. In a restaurant. On

5:44

separate I pad. Or

5:48

those with those that wait staff has a lot

5:50

to say to each other. And

5:53

we both were laughing pretty loud and

5:56

I gotta tell you, I think that

5:58

she might have enjoyed it more. all

6:00

of us please welcome my other co-host June Diane

6:02

Raphel. Welcome

6:17

June. Hello Paul how

6:19

are you? I'm well how are you? Okay

6:22

I'm gonna

6:25

say it right here I'm gonna say it

6:27

loud and I'm gonna say it clearly I

6:30

enjoyed this film. I

6:35

enjoyed it.

6:38

I enjoyed it. Is it possible

6:40

we have Freaky Friday'd this tour?

6:42

I like last night's horny romance

6:44

movie and thought for sure you

6:47

would. I hated it. And Paul

6:50

thought for sure that I would like the animation and

6:52

you loved it. And I was with you Paul I

6:54

was like as I was walking here I was like

6:56

Jason's gonna be so happy. Jason's

6:59

gonna love it. Who do you

7:01

think I am? I'm

7:04

gonna talk in therapy about this. Listen

7:07

it's blue by. Well it's

7:10

an hour twenty minutes. Thank God that's

7:12

the best thing I have. You're telling

7:14

me you're telling you didn't have some

7:17

real laughs during this movie? No.

7:22

I will say. Paul did. I'm

7:24

sure I did but I was

7:27

really like shocked at how

7:30

absolute dogshit this was. Honestly

7:32

Jason, boot them up. That means

7:35

you said you're right. I was

7:37

in the hotel in bed suffering

7:40

from jerk-off elbow. So the

7:44

tagline for this movie is

7:47

is babes balls

7:49

and muscles in

7:52

3D for the whole family. Oh

7:55

wait there's a 3D version of it? Were you

7:57

guys watching it with 3D animation? Were you guys watching with 3D?

8:00

3D glasses it brought? Wait,

8:02

what is 3D animation? I

8:04

think 3D animation is this style of

8:06

animation. Like, 3D animation is more like

8:08

Beauty and the Beast, and

8:10

then 3D animation is like Toy Story. Like that,

8:12

a little bit more 3D dimensional. Now here's what

8:14

I'll say. This movie came out in 2011, and

8:17

if you go to find it

8:19

on your Amazon or anything like

8:22

that, a streaming service, it

8:24

is put next to children's

8:26

films. One of my main questions was, who is

8:28

this for? Because

8:33

it presents like it's a

8:35

how to train your dragon, a cruise, a something

8:37

like that. And

8:40

boy oh boy, is it not. It

8:42

is from the jump close-ups

8:45

of balls and crotches and

8:47

titties. The first joke is,

8:49

I mean, the opening is

8:51

kind of very traditional, right? You're

8:53

seeing this opening of like this big

8:56

battle, cool characters, and then someone... Cool

8:58

characters? I thought they were kind of

9:00

cool looking, right? Yeah, you're

9:02

a big cron head. You love

9:05

cron. You won't stop talking about

9:07

cron. I mean, come on, when

9:09

cron's fighting, I'm like cool. So

9:12

the... When cron bleeds for seven

9:14

days and seven nights and everybody

9:16

drinks his blood, so cool! Kids,

9:19

everybody, kids, right? This is for

9:21

you, right? But here's what I would

9:23

say, that opens. You have a little kid drinking it

9:25

and he's like, gets muscles. And

9:27

then that little weak, like,

9:30

barbarian drinks just a drop

9:33

and either his dick or balls grow big.

9:36

I don't know which one. That's when I

9:38

wrote, that is literally when I wrote, what

9:40

the fuck is this movie? Right,

9:42

because up until that point... I rewound. I rewound

9:45

to be like, is that what happened? Well, I

9:47

think, one of the reasons why I

9:49

enjoyed it, and I'm not too

9:52

proud to say that, I enjoyed it. Maybe the

9:54

movie is for me. Maybe

9:56

I'm the intended target. But I... We

9:58

have finally broken down. believe it

10:00

already heard but I knew how

10:03

you said. There is a lot

10:05

of set up going and system.

10:07

There's lotta talk about. It's an

10:09

animated movie, June my Get Ready

10:11

and I as a. That's me. I

10:14

did I I was like paul i gotta work

10:16

out this morning because I'm going have the let

10:18

some energy hour before sit down and watch that

10:21

in the and I was. Wrapped

10:23

for. Such. A nightmare.

10:25

And again because we had

10:27

done Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Here

10:30

in New York you're welcome

10:32

George Orwell. Flow of Fit

10:34

your and I like. I

10:37

guess we're giving another gift to the city

10:39

we love and I'm that have suffered through

10:41

the So I and you'd also said it's

10:43

a sex com and you said those words

10:46

a number of time. While I do think.

10:48

A number. Kept.

10:50

On. Saying we're gonna watch an animated

10:53

sex. Comedy. I said it once.

10:57

Was and I was like oh hey

10:59

I don't know what I mean. Other

11:02

know what this will be to them when it

11:04

went down so. Smooth! This movie so

11:06

smith movie should be in the

11:08

restricted section of with the for

11:10

knows as as the rental store.

11:13

If better than I want to

11:15

say about the comedy and why

11:17

I believe this this movie sense

11:19

of humor is elevated. Wow says

11:22

that comedy and this is what

11:24

you might have missed season if

11:26

you weren't watching closely with their

11:28

sit by automated episode of the

11:30

shows they've gone. There's a your

11:33

Area team Fred apart Ari. There's.

11:36

The comedy in the foreground. The

11:38

seats. And there's some built

11:40

in comedic leads to those scenes,

11:43

some funny lines, But. What

11:45

you may have a mess and I suspect you

11:47

did is the. Background comedy

11:49

in the movie The

11:51

Levy. The background

11:53

pieces the at the eighty yard

11:56

that things that are on that.

11:58

That's the rule is. The side

12:00

the stuff they added in

12:02

months after the animation has ended

12:05

up. Where the real jokes

12:07

work? Well I'm that's where is a

12:09

genuinely very sunny or what I found

12:11

about this movie is is kind of

12:13

like all perverted jokes with you here

12:15

it's like oh did you see the

12:18

in the Little Mermaid the castle excellence

12:20

with a pseudo were like in the

12:22

sun if there's like an image of.

12:24

Say. It's annoying please that sending me

12:26

those. But the

12:29

i'm aware of your job you know, Yet

12:31

it keeps an orgasm it. but sometimes I

12:33

wrote those as a day. Again, it Joe

12:36

Camel is a thing. Or

12:39

and I'm or it's the only know

12:41

camel Not, it's not your camp. Last.

12:43

Season Saw this right before the show started.

12:45

I said I would go back and watch

12:48

the. Opening scene again When

12:50

I tell you the never

12:52

in my life. Have

12:54

I witnessed? Zune really was part

12:56

of a movie? Really? Layers? Are

12:59

there any syrup a the like.

13:01

This whole conversation we're having about

13:03

New York City's do That as

13:05

a legacy Do we watch the

13:08

beginning? I saw that before it

13:10

went out here is unnerved me.

13:13

And I'll say this. I'm I.

13:18

Had not only that, sorry papa season.

13:20

Said oh I'm so sorry you haven't finished at

13:22

my go. Oh no. I I'm just wanna

13:24

watch the first scene again. Oh

13:27

yeah, Because. It's not uncommon. it's

13:29

not uncommon for us and need to

13:31

finish the movie when we're in the

13:33

green Room or some the last ten

13:35

minutes or something. but for you to

13:37

have finished. And one one

13:40

remaining hundred years you, That means

13:42

you brought your I pad to that.

13:44

While I did forget it, I

13:46

did. And not only that, but what I

13:48

just wanted to say is and viewing. Of that

13:50

opening, my first is a ten minute opinion.

13:54

Second viewing and a for some minutes

13:56

of this film I. I.

13:59

Noticed one. One

14:01

of our villains had like red marks on

14:03

his ass. And

14:06

I didn't know why. And then when I

14:08

rewatched it just about 20 minutes ago, I

14:10

saw that to get the horse going, he

14:12

had been saying, hey yeah,

14:14

and whipping his own ass. And

14:17

if you forgot that scene. You missed that the first time.

14:19

I missed that. I missed that in the first viewing. By

14:22

the way. I wrote it in my notes. I did too.

14:25

And I'm gonna say that's even longer in

14:27

the first 10 minutes if you watch that

14:29

deep in. Cause check out scene four. Just

14:31

so if everyone can get on the same

14:33

page as June. Here we go. Stop!

14:41

All sons of Prawn are gathered. Lord

14:44

Varkazai. Then the time is coming.

14:46

Broughtch. Pretty

14:51

cool characters. Now I will say what I noticed

14:53

in watching that again is that that character is

14:55

kind of an S&M character. I didn't get that.

14:58

Oh is it? Oh,

15:00

oh, oh, oh, I

15:03

didn't get it. I didn't

15:05

notice. Oh no, I love the movie. Until

15:08

she is on the big screen. I

15:10

didn't notice that it's. This is

15:12

a movie that needs to be watched on the big screen. This

15:14

is, yeah, we should. I advocate

15:16

we stop doing the podcast and just

15:18

watch the movie here. And I am

15:20

shocked that no one's here dressed as

15:22

characters from this movie. This

15:24

movie is like, what if a kid's

15:26

movie, but the villains are

15:28

Lord of the Rings style

15:30

leather daddies. And

15:33

that's what we're doing. I would

15:35

all hurry. Ball gags. I

15:37

was like, what? Even the

15:40

book, where the book is on

15:42

the roof of the Elvis thing,

15:44

is somebody like. I

15:46

love this. The lectern.

15:49

The lectern. Love that part. I thought

15:51

that was clever. Now what I'll say. I

15:54

did too Paul. I did too. What I will say.

15:56

Your son's this movie. Well, that's what I'm

15:58

afraid of. But I will. I will

16:00

argue this that maybe June is

16:03

onto something because according

16:05

to the Nordic Film and

16:07

TV website, this film

16:10

opened very high and not only did

16:13

it open high, it is in the

16:15

top five of the most... Hang on.

16:18

Where? The Nordic Film and TV website. Where is that?

16:22

In the Nordic area. You

16:25

know, we often... Top film where?

16:28

In... Use 11 Plus in Denmark? Denmark.

16:31

This is a Danish movie, isn't it? Yes,

16:33

yes. Admit it. Yes.

16:36

It's a goddamn Danish movie. I said when we

16:39

started this podcast, I said I would never do

16:41

it. I

16:46

told you... You just got Dain. If

16:49

Dain Dahan is here, I'm gonna be furious. Here's

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17:27

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17:29

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17:31

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18:09

did this get made? We'll be going to

18:11

the UK in March and April, not just

18:13

the UK. We're also going to Ireland. And

18:15

you know what? I am

18:18

excited to go overseas, but

18:20

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18:22

I'm spending money over there, I could actually

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Wondery app or on Apple Podcast. I

20:00

love this movie. And it was a

20:02

movie that was already supposed to be

20:04

for English and Danish audiences. And

20:07

what I found weird though was,

20:09

yes, we're in this Conan the

20:11

Barbarian world, but the

20:13

English dub, and I watched both. No,

20:15

I didn't. They

20:17

really lean into the New Yorker version of this

20:20

world. Like, hey, yeah, what

20:22

do you want over there? Like, I was like, huh?

20:25

I thought you meant the magazine, the New Yorker. Which

20:28

I also would have loved to have a monocle. But

20:32

there was this energy where it was like,

20:34

they're stereotypical American voices. There wasn't an energy

20:36

to be like, we are all these kind

20:38

of characters. It was like, no, no, we're

20:40

just gonna do like, oh, you piece of

20:43

shit! You know, it's like. And

20:45

I will now say, I did Google it, looked

20:47

it up, and saw

20:49

that all of the cast

20:51

were Danish actors, including my

20:53

boy, Grand Admiral Thrawn himself,

20:56

Lars Mikkelsen. Is

20:59

a voice, I guess, in the, he's not in

21:01

the version we saw, though, is he? No, the

21:03

one that we saw did have Brigitte Nielsen. She's

21:05

the head of the Amazon queen. Oh, wow. He

21:08

was amazing. The Amazon,

21:10

I will say, the Amazon section

21:12

was phenomenal. Fantastic. I

21:14

have no problem with that section. If they want

21:16

to spin that off, I mean. No, here's

21:18

the thing. Honestly, like, this is

21:20

what I'm- Amazon jumping rope. Amazon.

21:24

I will get into it, because I'm like, if

21:26

we're gonna go there, let's fucking

21:29

go there. Like, this movie feels

21:31

like it is, like, we're

21:34

an adult movie, but they don't show- That's

21:36

what I'm saying. The movie

21:38

thinks it's so close to being heavy

21:40

metal. The movie? Yes. And it is

21:43

not heavy metal, the movie. It is,

21:45

it feels more to me like How to

21:47

Train Your Dragon, unfortunately. With balls.

21:49

And- So much balls.

21:51

Balls have their own set piece. And

21:54

it works. By the way. That's

21:58

that piece. That's- This

22:00

is the most insane June take in

22:02

history. You're telling me that

22:04

that scene of those balls going up the staircase.

22:07

Jumping around, it was. It was funny. That's funny.

22:09

That's what I call comedy. And then I get

22:11

to talk with tiny arrows. Perfect.

22:13

I love those balls. I had trouble. I

22:16

love those balls, too. Pull that quote. Pull

22:18

that quote, put it in the bung. Keep

22:21

it in. But I

22:23

couldn't figure out the physics of

22:25

where the body was. I was following the balls.

22:28

But I was like, how would where would the

22:30

body be to get the ball? I would rather,

22:32

frankly, the body hit the floor. But

22:35

that sequence of of

22:38

the balls being out like little

22:40

bouncy things on a karaoke, you

22:44

know, singing, follow the bouncing ball. Yes.

22:47

I thought it was such a crazy sequence.

22:50

But it made me uncomfortable, especially when

22:52

the codpiece stared and we saw some

22:54

fleshy balls. Well, OK. No, no, no.

22:58

That was my question is why

23:01

was he still why was his why

23:03

were his balls still covered by a

23:05

leather satchel? So I think

23:07

because my son was naked to rub

23:09

the invisibility. No, you don't. You just

23:12

have to throw. You just have to

23:14

rub it on yourself, I think. And

23:16

then things get invisible. So OK. Yeah,

23:19

that's where it ran out. I thought he walked around

23:21

the stone so that he could take all of his

23:24

not all of his clothes. Him walking

23:26

behind the stone appeared for no reason because it

23:28

seemed like they just need to get him off

23:31

screen so we wouldn't see him not rubbing his

23:33

balls. I guess

23:35

I don't know. I feel

23:37

like what you were after, Paul,

23:39

was you wanted to see more

23:42

like animated full sex scenes. And

23:45

I think what must have happened and maybe that's a

23:47

both of you on it. But I think

23:49

what must have what must have happened

23:52

was they must have for that

23:54

rating had some sort of like

23:56

negotiation of like, well, we can

23:58

show balls. show real balls at

24:01

one point in flesh, but we

24:03

can't have these others, like we can't have

24:05

the scene actually with the Amazon women. My

24:07

question would be because this has gotta be

24:09

rated R. It is. Just for language alone.

24:12

So why couldn't you have like

24:14

nudity? I'm not saying like

24:17

show penetrative sex, although please

24:19

show penetrative sex. We're

24:22

in a world in which everybody's like,

24:24

I don't want sex in my movies,

24:26

no more sex scenes. And I'm like,

24:28

show penetrative sex in animated movies now.

24:33

It's a tough platform to run on and

24:35

yet you're. I need

24:37

your votes. His name is Woody.

24:40

You're running for speaker of the house. I'm running for speaker

24:42

of the house. That's

24:46

right. My only platform.

24:48

We need Congress needs to get

24:51

back to work. And we need

24:53

full penetration in our animated movies.

24:56

Full funding, a full penetration

24:58

animated Pixar movies. That's it.

25:00

That's it. Bring it

25:02

happy. Oh boy. There is,

25:04

but to me I felt like I don't

25:06

need to see sex, but maybe

25:09

some boobs too. Maybe you'll do this. Okay.

25:13

I agree. Why are we seeing boobs?

25:15

We don't have to even make them sexual, but

25:17

like it's just like. I feel like I saw

25:19

a lot of boobs personally. I didn't see any

25:21

covered. And I wanted to.

25:24

Covered. Barely covered. Covered. They were

25:26

barely covered, but covered still gross.

25:28

When they go to that Amazon

25:30

tribe and he was used as

25:32

a mating device. Show us that

25:34

you cowards. Show

25:37

us that you Danish cowards.

25:40

I did feel bad for him because he's clutching

25:42

at his dick and balls for that whole scene.

25:44

You know what could have happened? Yeah. Like

25:46

they really. The best night of his life. But

25:51

that. Here's the thing. The girl was a

25:53

virgin. Well, okay. So I had, this

25:55

was the only problem I had with the movie.

25:57

And I mean only. If

25:59

I never. if Rono was like 14 or 42. I

26:07

was like, at first when we first

26:09

saw him I thought this is a

26:11

12 year old or a 16 year old.

26:18

And then as the movie progressed we got some close up

26:20

shots of him. And

26:22

I did think the way that this

26:24

movie deals with body hair and animates

26:27

it, I found it to

26:29

be so almost too

26:31

realistic. You know?

26:33

In the scene that we just saw with

26:36

the ass whipping on the horse,

26:38

he has a hairy butt crack.

26:41

That's what I'm saying. Somebody in

26:43

Denmark animated a hairy

26:46

butt crack, cell

26:48

by cell or whatever. This is what I'm saying.

26:50

Almost too much. They took all the freaks

26:53

that put all that crazy shit in Disney

26:55

movies. Come over here and let your freaks

26:57

fly. And there

26:59

were a team of animators for months

27:01

working on little balls. A ball sack

27:03

just running around. What are you working

27:06

on? Oh, I'm working on the ball

27:08

set. To the

27:10

nutcracker suite. By the way,

27:12

talk about layers of jokes. There

27:15

it is. Yeah, that's exactly right. You have

27:17

to be awake for this movie. You have

27:19

to be awake and watching. You

27:22

missed it. It'll fly by you. I did

27:24

like, talking about some of the background stuff, I did

27:26

write this down. I did laugh

27:28

at when they saw a scene of

27:31

warriors being attacked. There was

27:33

an arm coming out of somebody's asshole.

27:36

What? No, a

27:38

sword putting somebody's ass and then

27:40

an arm shoved into someone's mouth.

27:44

So that's the background you got to watch. And

27:46

that's some solid joke. Again, it's

27:48

in the background. Let go

27:50

of the foreground as a concept

27:52

and really train your eyes to see the

27:54

background. We watch this in a future episode,

27:56

but just the background. Anyway,

28:00

but what I'm gonna say about body hair is

28:02

that is that Ronal? Ronal

28:07

In the close-up shots like he does have uh

28:12

A lot of facial hair. Well, in

28:14

fact in the amazon's they pluck one out

28:16

of his face And are like

28:18

this woman has hair on her face. That

28:20

was a funny sequence that they again When

28:24

ronal said I don't know if it

28:26

was ronal or Al

28:28

alberto when one of them

28:30

said You

28:32

know the other name the bard. I don't

28:34

know what his name was the other guy

28:37

Is it alberto? It's alibert

28:40

alibert. Right? Oh when alibert

28:43

Says wait for a brief

28:45

moment. It is absolutely Categorically

28:48

insane that you remember

28:51

side character names from

28:53

one of our movies Oh

28:56

Stayed with me He

28:58

made I love every minute of this. But

29:01

when he said Wait,

29:03

we're women I laugh

29:08

So hard I

29:11

mean that fully like soup to nuts.

29:13

That's a great sequence. The amazon

29:15

sequence a great sequence soup Well,

29:20

let's let's let's see Let's

29:23

actually see that amazon scene great

29:29

Of course You

29:39

Forget the silly rules. I just gotta have you

29:41

now Boy I

30:01

found you very sexy, Miss Queen, but my friend needs

30:03

me and I have to go. What?

30:06

Listen, just have your girls capture me, get them

30:08

away back. I

30:12

didn't... I wanted Allie Burt to get love

30:14

at the end. I agree. And

30:17

I felt like they had a connection there, but she's

30:19

not... I'm glad he chose to go and help his

30:21

friend, but yeah, I mean, like, he can get at

30:23

least something going. But this is

30:25

a thing of... I wasn't worried about him. I wasn't

30:27

focused on him. Here's

30:29

my issue with this movie... You're all roanal all

30:31

the time. All the time, all day long. But

30:34

there's a thing, and I guess, by the way,

30:36

Brigitte Nielsen only did the Danish version

30:39

because that's definitely not her work. It

30:41

does look like her, though. It does look

30:44

like her. It feels like they definitely animated to

30:46

her. Yes, and it's odd they didn't just take

30:48

her to do it. They have a southern woman

30:50

being the head of the Amazon. Bizarre choice. I'm

30:52

sorry, though. When she takes one boob and slaps

30:54

them across the face with it, what

30:57

more? We work so

31:00

hard. We have such difficult

31:02

lives. That made me laugh. Is

31:04

that so wrong? No. So wrong! And

31:07

I'm sure for some people, for

31:10

some people, that is how a

31:12

fetish is born. I

31:15

want that to happen to me. There

31:18

is something, though, about this movie where I feel like,

31:20

again, I just want to go back to this idea

31:22

that I just wanted them

31:24

to push it a little bit more because

31:26

at the end of the movie, it just

31:29

becomes a straight-up Lord of the Rings.

31:31

The end of the movie is just like, oh,

31:33

we're just watching a battle. Nothing.

31:35

It's just like, shut up, you fucking dick. That's

31:37

all I need. Those are just shot in to

31:39

be like, no, no, it's still adult. Don't

31:42

worry about it. But I feel like that's the thing that

31:44

bummed me out, that the bookends were

31:46

just a basic movie with weird ADR

31:48

in the background. And I

31:51

really just wanted maybe defeat

31:53

him with your dick, defeat him with

31:55

your balls. Let's do that. I think

31:57

these, do you think they thought they

31:59

were making a sausage

32:02

party-esque, raunchy

32:04

blah blah blah? Or were they

32:06

making a, you know, slightly

32:09

more risque movie for young people? Well I

32:11

will tell you that this is what the

32:13

director said. After decades

32:16

of Pixar, now Rango and

32:18

Wreck-It Ralph, which are solid

32:20

movies. Love Rango. Rango's

32:22

great. Which are solid movies? Audiences

32:25

have matured. Yes we

32:28

have. And people

32:30

are catching up and

32:32

trying to make films that match American

32:34

movies in terms of story and character.

32:36

So that was his idea. It was

32:39

like, hey if you saw Wreck-It Ralph,

32:41

now you want to see Wreck-It Ralph's

32:43

balls. Like let's

32:45

grow with the audience. Like Taylor

32:47

Swift, let's start them young and

32:49

then pull them into their 30s

32:52

and 40s. Fix-It Felix's balls. I'd

32:55

rather Jack McBrayer be like, y'all

32:57

this is crazy. Bonk, bonk, bonk.

33:02

By the way in 2016 a Chinese

33:04

company did buy the rights of

33:06

this film because they are gonna

33:08

make it live-action remake. Fantastic.

33:12

That will be, can we just announce that

33:15

will be the final episode of the podcast? Whenever it

33:18

comes around to it, probably not for a while,

33:20

that will be the final episode. Oh my

33:23

god. You're gonna tell me though Jason,

33:25

in the world of like all of the

33:27

movies we've had to watch, that you didn't

33:29

enjoy this? Oh it was fine. It was

33:31

fine. It was just, I'm,

33:34

I guess I'm butting up against a little

33:36

bit of, my sausage party question

33:38

is kind of what I wanted. I think I would

33:40

have enjoyed it more if it was just a

33:43

complete embracing of the insane gonzo nature

33:45

of it. Sure. That movie I could

33:47

have gone on board for. The version

33:49

of it that is an actual like,

33:51

that I'm meant to care about the

33:53

Samwise character coming to the rescue and

33:56

the fellowship coming back together and this

33:58

is what I wanted to do. defeating

34:00

the bat, like all of the plotting,

34:02

I was like, no, no, no, no,

34:04

just give me nonsense set pieces, and

34:07

I'll enjoy this more. But I think

34:09

the movie wanted us to care about

34:11

the dumb quest, the quest, which in

34:13

the back, when you were playing the

34:15

trailer, and we were listening in the

34:17

back, June said, why couldn't he just

34:19

go on a quest? Which

34:22

is a valid question. I did ask,

34:24

like why was he so against

34:26

going on a quest? He's the quest

34:29

of earth. Yeah. They never

34:31

really underlined a couple of things we needed. Like

34:33

he didn't want to be a part of it.

34:36

I guess that's my question for the

34:38

barbarians. You know, what... The

34:43

barbarians that are here tonight? All of

34:45

them. Well, they're all up there. They're all

34:47

on that. Oh yeah, no, they're on

34:49

the barbarians. They're all there. Barbarians are

34:51

up there. This, the mezzanine, these are

34:53

very respectful people. But

34:56

why... I wanted to know

34:58

what kind of quests have they been on

35:00

before? What happened? Well, the barbarians

35:03

are super strong. They defeat everybody who comes

35:05

to them. But we never see that.

35:07

And the minute they are challenged, they

35:10

are so easily crushed.

35:13

Like it is really

35:15

like, you know what? I think

35:17

they deserve to go extinct. You

35:19

know, they're literally defeated by like

35:21

Lord Zurg. It does look

35:23

like they were like, somebody saw a toy story,

35:25

like that's our villain. Like it's like, this is

35:27

the Lord Zurg. But I will talk about the

35:29

Shield Maiden because that's our love interest. And that's

35:31

our heart of the story. Shield

35:34

Maiden was interesting to me because she was

35:36

a fighter. But it seems like

35:38

if you're a Shield Maiden, you

35:40

wouldn't have a sword. You'd

35:43

have a shield? Shield Maiden. Now

35:45

that's interesting. That's... Like

35:48

I wouldn't go through all the... Now

35:50

that happens as a Shield Maiden. And

35:54

then be like, but she fights and looks exactly like anybody

35:56

else in this movie that we've seen. She

35:58

is dressed just like a barbarian. Yes. She's

36:01

looking for the barbarian. Yes. And

36:03

in the very brief flashback, because I was like, oh,

36:05

maybe we'll meet more shield maidens. And

36:08

everybody seems to know immediately upon seeing her,

36:10

oh, you're a shield maiden. Nothing to think

36:12

about. I don't ever understand anything about it.

36:14

Okay, that's fine. But

36:16

yeah, it doesn't that just connote that she

36:18

would be carrying the shield? Simple

36:21

as that. Just give me a

36:23

shield for a character who is called

36:25

shield maiden. Like it

36:28

does seem like... Then it's

36:30

a movie, you know, not everything's gonna... This,

36:34

like, I'm gonna

36:36

remind you of this. Let

36:38

it go. What

36:40

was last night's movie called? Beautiful

36:43

Day of Disaster. I

36:46

would so much rather the nonsense

36:48

and the jokes, the hilarious jokes

36:51

in that movie than in this movie because I

36:53

laughed so much more. We are having... Wow, June

36:55

and I are getting to talk. We have to

36:57

go to couples therapy. I don't know you at

36:59

all. We have to go to team Fred therapy.

37:01

We will show this in couples therapy. We should

37:03

go on the Showtime show couples therapy and show

37:05

clip five and then see who found it funny.

37:07

Because I think that therapist in couples therapy would

37:09

find it very funny. Here we go. You

37:12

know what? Just get to look a bit heavy. Can

37:14

I hold him for you? Your mother has a bag of sticks around.

37:16

Shut the fuck up, ugly. What do you want? Oh, you're

37:18

a little bit too much. I'm gonna have to go. I'm

37:20

gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna

37:22

have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have

37:24

to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna

37:26

have to go. We're

37:28

looking for a guide. There's

37:32

only one left. In the back

37:34

behind the kiddo. F for Elvis. Hey!

37:37

Who wanted a bear and a double Manhattan? Okay.

37:40

Thanks. Great

37:44

character. Fun character. That fairy is

37:46

stacked. Love

37:49

that woman. That fairy also

37:51

is serving Manhattan. Yes. Because

37:53

at one point- A double Manhattan. A

37:55

double Manhattan. Well, she can

37:58

never find its- rightful owner. When

38:00

the place blows up she's dying

38:02

trying to deliver a double Manhattan

38:06

and women of this movie, you know, I

38:10

Do think that the movie has

38:12

more of a feminist bent than

38:14

maybe both of you are ready to

38:16

see oh, no I think you're right.

38:19

I think it's there I mean the most the

38:21

fiercest warrior in their in their party is the

38:23

female character. Absolutely Yeah, and also like

38:25

there are these side characters her And

38:29

I I would watch an entire movie about

38:31

this barwench I would love to know

38:33

how she ended up there. I'm with

38:35

you and also like we

38:37

never I wish Paul

38:40

now we're back June and I are back. We

38:43

want a side movie of the fairy way. Just

38:45

her human size be

38:47

kiss Just

38:50

I'm listening. I'm listening if I'm gonna get

38:52

any side character would probably be the Oracle

38:54

who needs his whole life But

38:57

are you the nurse the nurse to just

38:59

wipe his ass? What

39:01

who comes? Intermittently

39:03

when he shifts, but

39:06

anyway go ahead Like

39:10

he goes are you the nurse as if she

39:12

shows up occasionally like it's

39:14

like oh like it's like almost like he has

39:17

a medical alert braces like times like shit think

39:19

you know and Then the nurse comes in and

39:21

be careful the hemorrhoids what I found disgusting

39:24

about this movie Everything

39:26

well it goes there

39:28

with that like Little

39:30

arrows into balls. I'm like ooh You

39:32

know and I'm like and then in that moment

39:34

where he wipes the characters ass the next thing

39:36

he's like Sniffing his own

39:38

fingers and wiping it he's he's

39:41

washed wiping his finger so much

39:47

But any gaggle he gags I'm smelling

39:49

the shit finger and I'm like ooh

39:52

That's more upsetting to me. Yeah

39:54

than anything I could possibly ever

39:56

see I feel like this movie

39:58

is about leather

40:00

daddy's shit play cock

40:03

and ball torture like this

40:05

entire movie is built off

40:08

of Pornhub category now would

40:10

you be surprised would

40:12

you be surprised to know that in

40:15

the new Saw movie, Saw X every

40:17

one of the characters being held hostage is

40:19

being forced to watch this that's the only

40:21

trap I would not be surprised are you

40:23

leaving? where are you going? talk to the

40:26

audience already? he

40:30

just got started I'm so sorry Paul do

40:33

you have somewhere to be? I

40:36

will get back down Paul's like I'm trying

40:38

to second I'm trying to second act Gutenberg

40:40

tonight sit

40:44

down I am happy to post

40:46

a picture you know I barely

40:48

touched my notes these

40:50

people most of them probably a lot of

40:53

them probably got a sitter let's hear from

40:55

whoever got a sitter yes

40:58

parents night out getting

41:00

sloppy at BAM hand

41:03

jobs outside I

41:05

will say for the record this

41:08

is the time I normally go out but I

41:11

will sit here because I have a lot

41:13

more notes myself so

41:16

much there's so much titty twisting in the movie

41:19

well that I was like and it's

41:21

wonderful because there's so it's

41:24

wonderful wonderful

41:27

because I

41:30

will say it's not every day where

41:32

you see a movie presents like

41:35

men's nipples beer

41:39

you hear sniffles you guys are right I should

41:41

not have gone into the crowd this is great

41:43

continue as such an area

41:45

of like 6 station oh yeah

41:48

look at this we spend a lot of time everybody's

41:50

got full on nipple

41:52

clamps and harnesses and by the way that's when when

41:55

you guys said there aren't enough boobs in this movie

41:58

I was like I feel like I saw Oh,

42:00

you're right. You're right. They were men's

42:02

boobs, but there were boobs. All the

42:04

men, all the bad guys' boobs. Now,

42:11

now we're, see, now I'm glad you're

42:14

not in the eye. I agree. Because

42:17

it's, our men's boobs boobs is

42:19

the t-shirt without a duck. That

42:23

seems like a borders on the dirty. But

42:26

I think it's, are men's boobs boobs? Question

42:29

mark, Paul Scheer. It's

42:32

very much so... Where

42:34

does the butt start? Yeah. In that

42:36

area. Can you call

42:39

men's boobs boobs? Of course. Yes.

42:41

Really? Yes. Wow. Audience,

42:43

audience, ten. Are men's boobs

42:45

boobs? They're breast plates. Yeah.

42:49

Or do we call men's boobs

42:51

like a chest or something different? Yes.

42:55

Balcony is with me. What

42:58

can we get house like? What is the or...

43:01

some librarian, I'm gonna guess. Is there a librarian here

43:03

who can tell me the etymology of boobs? Where

43:06

did we get boobs from? Don't force the librarian

43:09

to... No, I only want a librarian. Is there

43:11

a medical doctor in the house? We have to

43:13

have a medical doctor in the house. Oh, is

43:15

there a boob doc in the house? No?

43:19

Cowards. Oh, here. Back

43:21

there. Back there. I see one. Okay, hold on. I'm going. What

43:24

are you gonna ask? Are

43:26

men's boobs boobs? Alright. Where where who

43:28

do we have? Hi, how are you?

43:30

Yeah, OBGYN

43:33

family medicine. Give it up!

43:35

Well, what's her name? Karen Carey. And

43:37

to true or false, you'll be doing

43:40

pap smears in the lobby

43:42

after all night. Great. All night pap. That's

43:44

right. Best

43:47

part. So yeah, men

43:49

have breast tissue and those

43:52

are boobs. Those are big men.

43:54

That's a technical term? No. So

44:00

breast tissue on both. Yeah, we got to do like like

44:03

if you have a mass in a male You have to

44:05

still do a masochrome. Okay, and it's still

44:07

great. I assume. Yes it is. Thank you.

44:09

All right. We did it. Thank you great

44:13

work fantastic great

44:15

work It

44:18

always makes me worried when doctors listen

44:20

to the podcast we need it Well,

44:23

I answered that question. I should have asked about the butt too. I Like

44:27

the idea of a doctor performing surgery and being

44:29

like, you know, I'm just gonna play something Well,

44:31

well I do this is the other putting the

44:33

propofol in here like come back from 10 10

44:36

9 and it's like boom Oh My

44:42

gosh Well, I did

44:44

have a colonoscopy recently and the anesthesia is

44:47

so cool I know and

44:49

the anesthesiologist literally Seconds before

44:51

putting the propofol in my

44:53

body went big fan man.

44:55

No No

44:59

big fan man Big

45:02

big fan man, and I was like

45:04

cool, bro. Get ready to be inside

45:06

of my asshole that

45:11

So Big

45:13

fan big fan man. I can't believe I have

45:15

the chance to kill you Big

45:18

fan man, you're gonna feel a little cold and

45:20

then you're gonna have the best sleep of your

45:22

life Rafi

45:25

oh no, I

45:27

didn't know you could be put out for colonoscopies.

45:29

That's great news. You can be I Simultaneously

45:33

had an endoscopy as well not simultaneously been

45:35

in the same So that's that you don't

45:37

have to be put out for a colon

45:39

I'd prefer to be and

45:41

you guys didn't want me to go out to the crowd Um

45:47

See what we would have missed off a

45:49

little bit. No Cut

45:52

out all of the stuff about my

45:54

colonoscopy from the podcast. That's just for

45:56

you Brooklyn. Oh man It's

46:00

the butt stuff! Brooklyn

46:02

loves butt stuff! How did this get made?

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48:49

There are some weird it

48:51

turns of phrase in the

48:54

film as as a mom

48:56

as his can't save you

48:58

now so they ever Yes,

49:01

actually. I am.

49:03

I felt like that was an

49:05

interesting moments because. Again,

49:08

He says he man is so

49:10

you might have really miss to

49:12

see things because only cut into

49:15

that bar scenes there's a whole

49:17

discussion on this like a lot

49:19

a mom jokes and then that

49:21

one Zealand guy who threatens to

49:23

say on Zandra. At

49:25

the as as the internet or

49:28

measure your name never know her

49:30

name or never before has never.

49:32

you don't remember real name you

49:34

know remember my name some. Now,

49:38

but that guy. Who comes

49:41

out swinging at the unwilling to

49:43

save her and conquer with to

49:45

that seems to have a conversation

49:48

Where he's he's making some your

49:50

mom jokes and specifically like your.

49:53

Mom's Hits jokes. But.

49:55

Since dreams. Li there's

49:58

like a little paws Niggers? Yeah. I

50:00

really do love my mom. Yes. And

50:03

I was like. Yes. I heard

50:05

that too. Yeah. And I will say

50:07

to your kind of background point, there

50:09

is a, there are a ton

50:12

of funny side weird jokes

50:14

that I only got because I

50:16

had closed captioning on because they

50:18

were a lot of times conversations

50:21

that we were passing by. I love

50:23

the applause for closed captioning. Every time.

50:27

Every time I mentioned turning on

50:29

closed captioning, big pop from the

50:31

audience. That's a

50:33

middle aged audience right there. By

50:37

the way, by the way,

50:39

last night, last night

50:41

as we were driving. Not a Gen Z in the

50:43

house. Everybody's like,

50:45

go on. No,

50:48

that's the thing. Closed captioning.

50:50

Yay. That's my story

50:52

too. Gen Z has brought

50:54

in closed captioning because of social media.

50:57

It's a young thing. Closed captioning is a

50:59

young thing. Wait a minute. Are there Gen

51:01

Z people here? Thank you. Get

51:04

them out of here. I

51:08

will say this. Just saying about

51:10

mom and mom jokes on the way home last

51:12

night from New Haven to here. Our

51:15

son called us and very seriously said,

51:17

can I talk to you guys in

51:19

private? We said yeah. He goes,

51:21

okay. Now this is not true. Okay.

51:24

Yeah, it's not true. He pulled himself away

51:26

from our nanny who was in

51:29

the house, his little brother. I was like, here

51:31

we go. Whatever could this be? He

51:34

goes, okay. But this

51:36

is not true. We said, okay. All right. He

51:39

goes, your

51:42

mom was so fat that

51:47

when she sweats, it's maple

51:49

syrup. And

51:57

then delivery, just like that. Oh

52:00

my god. He really wanted to make sure we

52:02

knew it wasn't true. He was like,

52:04

that's not true. Not true.

52:09

And then did like four more, but in that

52:11

cadence. Yeah. It's

52:14

like there was a sadness to

52:16

it. Yeah. Just, I've got, I have to

52:18

get these out. I'm so sorry. I just

52:20

have to. I've got to say all of them that

52:22

I know. Your mama's teeth are so yellow that when

52:24

she smiles at traffic, cars slow down. And

52:29

I did say to him, I said, well, my mom's

52:32

dead. So this is really

52:34

hurtful actually. And then please tell me,

52:36

please tell me he had dead mama

52:38

jokes because that's where this is going.

52:41

It was so, but now how about this joke?

52:43

I know that you like that mama joke, but

52:45

what about the jokes? Like you're

52:47

as boring as a yeast

52:49

infection. That

52:52

felt to me like, huh, boring,

52:55

not a woman, but boring doesn't seem like the

52:57

way you would describe a yeast. Oh, this,

53:00

I'm so bored of this. This

53:02

infection is boring. You're

53:04

as annoying as a

53:06

yeast infection. Boring. Honestly,

53:10

I've never had one. I can't speak on it. I

53:12

don't know. Maybe they are boring.

53:14

I've never had one. That was my

53:16

friends saw the who at Madison Square

53:18

Garden and Roger Daltry was

53:21

on stage in the eyes. Yeah. He

53:23

goes Viagra never needed it. Never

53:26

will. And then, and then the audience

53:28

went like this. And

53:34

then he had to be like, but it's okay.

53:40

All right. Now I'm

53:43

going to the, all right.

53:48

It's okay. All right. So

53:50

who has questions? You want to have

53:52

a question? Come here. All

53:55

right. What's your name?

53:57

James. James. All right.

54:00

about Ronald the Barbarian. Speaking

54:02

of penetrative sex, was

54:04

the implication in the scene in the tavern

54:06

the man was going to fuck the goat

54:08

on the second floor or the goat was

54:10

going to fuck him? Great

54:13

question. And

54:15

this is to the background jokes that

54:17

June is talking about. June is the

54:19

scholar of this movie. June, studying

54:22

this movie like the Torah... I

54:29

actually don't remember that scene. I can

54:31

just... I just... I don't remember

54:33

it. I don't remember it. I remember

54:35

it. I remember it and

54:37

it felt to me like the movie was going

54:39

for the goat fucking him. Great.

54:44

You know what? We need more goats

54:46

fucking dudes. I am in

54:48

balcony one. Be

54:50

careful Paul. Where are you? Which... Oh,

54:53

there you are. Alright, I have a question here

54:56

from balcony one. Balcony one. Okay, yes, what's your

54:58

name? Luna. Luna, what's your

55:00

question? If you were in

55:02

charge of making a happy meal for

55:04

this movie, what

55:07

would you make the toy? What

55:09

would you make the toy? Great question.

55:11

There's got to be a couple of toys. There's got to

55:13

be a couple of toys. Because I feel like there's a

55:16

couple of big items. I definitely

55:18

think that some sort of like

55:20

strap-on balls would be important. I

55:22

was literally going to say like

55:24

Benoit balls would be a great

55:27

thing. No, I think like a...

55:29

I was going to say like a pouch for your

55:31

balls. Like a ball

55:33

pouch or just straight up

55:35

nipple rings. That's great. Because

55:37

everybody's got them. Yeah. If

55:41

not a character in this movie doesn't

55:43

have pierced nipples. It's everybody. I would

55:45

say a cigarette. So

55:48

you could act out your little fantasies like that.

55:50

Bar wench. A lute, I guess. I

55:53

think she was smoking a joint. Really? I

55:55

thought a cigarette. I thought a cigarette as well. But

55:58

I wish it was a joint. smoke

56:00

out of bongs like oh yeah like skull bong

56:02

and they're like good stuff bro

56:04

it's like what the fuck is

56:06

this movie did

56:09

anybody watch it in Danish are

56:11

there any Danes in the house remember

56:14

Jason hates the Danes fine

56:16

all right yes you're who edit yes

56:19

Patrick Murphy thank you with yes

56:22

full names everybody is everyone

56:24

hey guys full

56:26

name and profession like you're

56:28

in the movie old and

56:30

address guys don't talk to

56:32

the number last four digits

56:34

of your social security number and then

56:37

go ahead and ask your question mother's

56:39

maiden name and then the Murphy with

56:41

when I apologize for not

56:43

remembering his name when Roanall mounts his

56:45

dying guardian did you notice I

56:47

wondered if you noticed that he did full face

56:50

waterfall yeah I

56:52

did he did it was awesome I

56:54

wrote that down was it awesome Paul

56:57

it was awesome what

56:59

it was awesome well we

57:01

don't get to see face waterfalls and everything

57:04

oh yes no we need more

57:06

we need to actually the three of us

57:08

need to commit to putting face

57:11

waterfalls in as many projects once we're

57:13

back to work as possible listen

57:15

I I don't know this

57:17

is a real Easter egg but in

57:19

burning love I did face waterfall Michael

57:21

Sarah and nobody ever picked up

57:23

on it wow oh that's awesome

57:26

here's a guy in an outcast

57:28

shirt from our Jonathan Livingston Segal

57:30

episode great work all

57:32

right your name your question Jason

57:35

asked if there were any Danes

57:37

in the house my name is

57:39

Dane boom you did it all

57:41

right hey Dane oh that's not

57:44

what I meant I so

57:48

my question is especially for

57:50

June what age should

57:53

this be shown to children what what

57:55

age when do we start yeah when

57:57

do we start showing this we don't

58:00

We don't. This is not a children's movie.

58:02

Let me say that clearly. Out of

58:04

curiosity, Dane, do you have children? Okay.

58:09

So for you, never. Yeah,

58:12

don't worry. For you, you shouldn't

58:15

be showing this to any children.

58:17

Totally fine. Dane. Melkitti1

58:22

is fucking creeps and

58:24

weirdos. Who

58:26

knew? Hey,

58:29

how old? When can I start showing

58:31

this movie to children? Not ever. Not

58:34

ever. Hey, kid, you want to see a movie? It's

58:37

got balls in it. Not ever. Hey, you

58:39

guys want to see a movie? I'm

58:44

Dane. And now

58:46

I'm in the real balcony, the upper

58:49

balcony, where the real

58:51

balcony monsters are. Wow. And

58:53

a place that I

58:55

had to take an elevator to get to. We

58:58

did not realize that. Now, someone here has a

59:00

ballgagging. Am I right in that? There

59:03

you are. Has a ballgag in their mouth? Yes.

59:07

Incredible stuff. I'm going to come over to

59:09

you. Great job. This is a tough costume

59:11

to pull off, and I'm glad that you

59:14

did it. Hi, how are you? Hi,

59:16

Paul. I'm well. How are you? What's

59:19

your question? Okay, so

59:23

I'm going to give a little bit of context for this. So

59:26

at the beginning of the film,

59:28

we see the whole sequence when

59:31

everyone drinks the blood of Kron,

59:33

right? When

59:35

the little weakling gets

59:38

the one drop, the only

59:40

thing that gets big is his dick and balls, right?

59:42

I kind of went into this

59:45

assuming that Ronal

59:47

is like descended from this person.

59:50

But his uncle doesn't get

59:53

the loser gene. So

59:55

it's like, does it like skip a generation?

59:57

Is it a recessive trait? So

1:00:00

why hasn't this been like

1:00:03

eugenics out of the barbarian?

1:00:07

June, you have met your

1:00:09

historical match. Great question. So

1:00:11

your question is pro eugenics?

1:00:17

To be clear, you took the ball gag out

1:00:19

of your mouth to assert

1:00:21

a pro eugenics theory.

1:00:25

This is, wow, just when

1:00:27

I thought balcony one was not, upper

1:00:31

balcony, absolute fucking hero.

1:00:36

I appreciate you. Holy cow. It was great.

1:00:39

And I didn't know Ron will be put

1:00:41

to death because

1:00:44

he's weak. She

1:00:47

does ask a fair question in, in

1:00:50

the sense that these barbarians,

1:00:52

he doesn't seem to have offspring or

1:00:55

where did it, you know, what happened? I also don't

1:00:57

think that his dick and balls are

1:00:59

that impressive. Ronal or the? Ronal.

1:01:02

How do you know? Because

1:01:04

he doesn't use them to do anything. He

1:01:06

fucks all the Amazon, Paul. But

1:01:09

that's a side quest. By

1:01:12

the way, sign me up for that side quest.

1:01:15

He ain't so anti quest, but he's like,

1:01:17

I'll question this pussy. Your

1:01:21

question. So this is a fairly horny

1:01:23

movie. Really? Why

1:01:29

does everyone have flat tank Hill asses? Great

1:01:33

question. Where are them

1:01:35

juicy asses at? I thought

1:01:37

about that too, because there were a

1:01:39

lot of I did. I

1:01:42

had that same question because

1:01:45

there were again, there was a lot

1:01:47

of like nipple play in the movie

1:01:49

and there were a lot of emphasis

1:01:51

on the male breasts, the

1:01:53

male breast tissue

1:01:55

and nipples and not

1:01:58

a lot of emphasis. on the

1:02:01

male buns and I appreciated

1:02:03

that new framing

1:02:05

of the male body like let's

1:02:07

let go of the asses as

1:02:09

an idea and let's focus elsewhere

1:02:12

here's what I'll say I felt

1:02:14

like those are some flat

1:02:16

pancake Danish but oh

1:02:18

you think so but then but

1:02:20

then all of the Amazonian

1:02:22

women had high and tight

1:02:24

and high high high asses

1:02:27

yep they're not Danish they're

1:02:30

Amazon you're saying all of the animators

1:02:33

just drew themselves correct interesting

1:02:35

absolutely every single one of

1:02:38

them would it surprise

1:02:40

you to know that the

1:02:42

director and writer of the girl with the

1:02:44

dragon tattoo the Danish version was a script

1:02:47

consultant on this film no

1:02:49

it wouldn't wow

1:02:52

holy shit what I'm

1:02:55

gonna go to our other costume person the audience your name

1:02:57

and your question my name is Brooks

1:03:00

and my question is I'm wondering if you

1:03:02

guys noticed in the credits there is someone

1:03:04

named Trowell's Christopher sin he

1:03:07

is listed as no

1:03:09

one would ever knew oh

1:03:11

you were wondering if we noticed this were

1:03:15

you surprised we haven't talked about it yet

1:03:17

yeah I'm surprised you

1:03:20

guys haven't mentioned it's a little

1:03:22

surprise credits there's someone named sure

1:03:24

will Christopher sin and that if

1:03:27

you're me I'm surprised research you

1:03:29

might find out I'm surprised his

1:03:32

title in the movie is

1:03:34

reindeer Wrangler and I'm wondering

1:03:36

what you thought his role

1:03:38

might have been huh wait

1:03:40

a minute that's a okay hang on a

1:03:42

second huh that's

1:03:45

whoa reindeer Wrangler before

1:03:48

that's the he plays the voice of

1:03:50

the reindeer Wrangler no it

1:03:54

would mean like he's bringing reindeer in

1:03:56

what it's an animated movie I know but maybe there

1:03:58

was some sort of like you think they're They wore

1:04:00

one of those caps. You

1:04:03

think there's reindeer with mocap suits for this

1:04:05

movie? I think that Danish people,

1:04:07

the animators get hungry and they want fresh

1:04:09

meat and that's like craft service to them.

1:04:12

So they get sort of like, oh

1:04:14

yeah, feed the animators. They're working on this ball sequence. I

1:04:16

think the title is misleading. It's Chef. Paul,

1:04:20

is it raining outside? You're soaking wet.

1:04:23

I just ran up like four flights of

1:04:26

stairs and I ran down four flights of

1:04:28

stairs. I'm wearing a sweater. It wasn't a

1:04:30

good choice. You look great. It

1:04:33

was a lot of stairs. It's

1:04:35

hot up there. You're getting a workout tonight. This tour,

1:04:37

you're getting a workout. I did. I shouldn't have done

1:04:39

the push-ups to open the show. Okay, here

1:04:42

we go. Obviously, we have opinions

1:04:44

about this movie, but there are some people

1:04:46

who just agree with June. It's

1:04:50

now time for Second Opinion.

1:04:59

Isn't he scrawny?

1:05:03

This barbarian. Horny

1:05:08

Pixar, come on, Ronald.

1:05:11

He quests far, so we go

1:05:13

online and give it

1:05:16

five stars because if

1:05:18

there's something... ...my

1:05:21

life is a-f

1:05:39

great. I feel good about it. So here we go. I don't want to

1:05:41

fall. I'll be honest. This is going to go

1:05:45

great. Everybody else has sucked. Only

1:05:49

up from here. And

1:05:52

now it's time for Second Opinion.

1:05:55

I'm Ashley. Five stars.

1:05:57

Give it five stars. when

1:06:00

I rate this film on

1:06:03

Amazon Write it

1:06:05

all in catplop so you

1:06:07

know that I cannot be

1:06:10

wrong I watch

1:06:12

this whole movie with my

1:06:14

kids Please fight all the

1:06:17

animated bits Five

1:06:19

stars, give it five stars

1:06:21

Cause I think it is

1:06:23

a good film It is

1:06:25

a great film It is

1:06:27

my favorite film You can't

1:06:30

be honestly perfect Thank

1:06:33

you Ashley Brooklyn, you

1:06:35

brought it You always bring a great

1:06:37

job Oh wait, and a what's

1:06:40

up jerk shirt And a what's up jerk shirt Killer,

1:06:43

you're doing great Okay,

1:06:45

holy cow So just so you know, normally

1:06:47

when we do this What about a Flintstones

1:06:49

adaptation in this style? I

1:06:52

would see that Horny Flintstones What

1:06:55

was that comic they made? Oh, Mark Russell's comic? That's

1:06:58

a great comic book There

1:07:01

is an incredible Flintstones comic book by Mark

1:07:03

Russell He also did an incredible snaggle post

1:07:06

comic book that is fantastic I

1:07:09

urge everybody to read them Normally,

1:07:13

when we do this we'll

1:07:16

see how popular a film is So say a

1:07:18

smaller film that

1:07:21

we do on the show 400 reviews A

1:07:25

more popular film, couple thousand This

1:07:27

film Is

1:07:33

it just that it is So is

1:07:35

it, has it been out in English since

1:07:37

2011? Yeah, I've never heard of this

1:07:39

Yes, it came out in 2011 Most

1:07:43

of the reviews I'll be reading tonight are from 2013 Okay,

1:07:47

are any of them going to be in Danish? They

1:07:49

are And a lot

1:07:52

of, some of them are in French Some of

1:07:54

them are in Danish, they're translated I don't read

1:07:56

you the French or Danish But

1:07:58

M. Bavi wrote

1:08:00

this. Ronal the

1:08:02

Barbarian is one of the funniest animated movies

1:08:05

I've ever seen. June, is this your pen

1:08:07

name? A

1:08:09

movie that deserves to be known,

1:08:12

but not for children. Pass it

1:08:14

on. Five stars. And

1:08:17

that's from French. That's a French reviewer,

1:08:19

okay? Reviewed in France. Get

1:08:22

ready for this next one. Just

1:08:24

wanted to kind of lay the groundwork with this. Rush

1:08:27

and Shill in

1:08:30

November of 2013 wrote

1:08:32

a review titled Great Movie. And

1:08:35

here we go. The

1:08:37

Yoll Mariner Society is a small

1:08:39

nautical league of aspiring seafaring

1:08:42

boys that I run from my

1:08:44

boat here in Iowa. Hang

1:08:47

on a second. This is a concession. I'm

1:08:50

so sorry. True

1:08:52

or false, Iowa? Landlocked?

1:08:57

We spend countless nights

1:08:59

on my boat just a few yards from

1:09:01

the lake. Is

1:09:04

this admissible in court? I'll

1:09:07

turn it over to Lockhart and Gardner to figure

1:09:09

out if they can figure it out. That's

1:09:11

right. I'm into season five of The

1:09:13

Good Wife, everybody. Get

1:09:17

ready when I show up. Who am I?

1:09:19

Oh, I'm a lawyer. Okay, here we go.

1:09:22

I love that show. Eventually, when

1:09:24

the repairs are complete, we'll

1:09:26

take the boat out on the water. I

1:09:29

know I worked those boys hard this summer,

1:09:33

but it was the only way I knew how

1:09:35

to prepare them for manhood. Much

1:09:38

of their training was based off the

1:09:40

television show Deadliest Catch, along with movies

1:09:42

Cabin Boy and Down Periscope. What? Kids

1:09:46

should not watch some of those. Upon

1:09:49

graduation, several of my well-instructed little seamen

1:09:52

have taken upon themselves. No! Little

1:09:57

seamen? That's

1:09:59

the tea sh- The

1:10:02

Young Mariner Society Little Seaman, that should be a

1:10:04

shirt, yep. Upon graduation, several

1:10:06

of my well-instructed little seamen have

1:10:08

taken upon themselves the distinguished title

1:10:10

of Mariner. Winning

1:10:12

the rope swinging competition this past summer with my

1:10:15

boys, I gave them a night off from our

1:10:17

rigorous activities. I just gotta remind everyone, this is

1:10:19

an Amazon review. I just don't

1:10:21

want to get lost in the sauce. Like

1:10:24

someone wrote this. This isn't

1:10:26

an article where they're like, we

1:10:28

uncovered this journal entry from

1:10:30

the most prolific Iowan pedophile

1:10:33

in history. Amazon

1:10:36

review. Okay. Winning the

1:10:38

rope swinging competition this past summer with my

1:10:40

boys, I gave them a night off from

1:10:43

our rigorous activities to enjoy a little R&R

1:10:45

with a movie night. Without

1:10:47

a doubt, they earned it. This

1:10:49

movie was selected for its theme

1:10:51

of maturation from boy to man.

1:10:55

To everyone's delight, this movie was

1:10:57

a hit. Family

1:11:00

values galore and no home

1:11:03

should be complete without

1:11:05

it. Five stars. I

1:11:10

don't know what's going on. Unless that has

1:11:12

been written from jail, I am

1:11:16

flummoxed by that. Now,

1:11:18

I think a lot of you want to know where

1:11:20

this came from. And you know what? I said this

1:11:22

earlier today that this

1:11:24

film out of a

1:11:26

list of 542 titles, the

1:11:29

most popular films in Danish

1:11:31

animation, Ronal the

1:11:33

Barbarian is the second most

1:11:35

popular film in their

1:11:38

list after Ninjago,

1:11:40

Masters of Spinjitsu.

1:11:44

So it's Ninjago. Wait, that's a Danish production?

1:11:46

No, no, this is like the most popular

1:11:48

films in Danish. Oh, I'm sorry sir, I

1:11:51

get it now. Yes. I thought you meant

1:11:53

that they themselves have produced, but now I

1:11:55

understand. No, this is just the list of

1:11:57

the most popular. So it's a Ninjago movie

1:11:59

and then... Ronald before a

1:12:01

Toy Story or any Disney animation.

1:12:03

A list of 542 movies.

1:12:06

These are the top two. Now you

1:12:08

might be thinking, well how did this movie come to be?

1:12:10

Well I want to tell you... I would ask, how did

1:12:12

it get made? Well

1:12:15

I will tell you that the director of

1:12:17

this movie was known for

1:12:20

kind of pushing the boundaries and continues to

1:12:22

push the boundaries because in 2021 he

1:12:24

released a new TV show called

1:12:28

John Dillermond. Translation

1:12:31

John Penisman. Or

1:12:34

John Willyman or John

1:12:36

Dongman. And

1:12:38

it's a Danish stop motion animated television

1:12:40

series about a man and his very

1:12:42

long penis. Long? I

1:12:46

don't like long as

1:12:49

a descriptor. Big, okay,

1:12:51

long? John Penisman is

1:12:54

a middle aged man who wears a red and

1:12:56

white striped bathing costume and has a penis that

1:12:58

can extend to a length of dozens of meters.

1:13:00

Whoa! He uses his

1:13:02

prehensile penis which stretches through his

1:13:04

clothes as a tool to tame

1:13:06

lions and fly like a helicopter.

1:13:10

What? But his penis... Please tell me

1:13:12

we're going to watch the first episode right now. But

1:13:16

his penis also acts independently of

1:13:18

John getting him into trouble. Oh

1:13:20

he has a sentient penis. The

1:13:24

series is aimed at

1:13:26

four to eight year olds. It

1:13:30

was on for two seasons, had

1:13:33

about 40 episodes, and

1:13:36

upon release over 250,000 children viewed it.

1:13:40

But mostly all on a boat

1:13:42

in Iowa. Well

1:13:45

I don't like that. All of

1:13:47

those views are coming from a

1:13:49

boat in Iowa that is up

1:13:51

on cinder blocks. I

1:13:54

don't like that one bit. And in fact, the more

1:13:56

I sit with this movie, the more I'm like, I

1:13:58

think... I

1:14:01

think only adult women should watch this.

1:14:06

I don't want anyone else watching it. You

1:14:08

don't want them getting the wrong idea? This is the movie for women. That's

1:14:12

it. I

1:14:15

don't think it's right for anyone else. This

1:14:18

is for us. I

1:14:24

would love it if groups of women like

1:14:26

they were going to the Barbie movie started

1:14:28

going to the Ronal the Barbarian movie dressed

1:14:30

in like cotton. I don't want other people

1:14:33

watching it and getting the wrong ideas. And

1:14:38

now we will watch the opening of

1:14:40

John Peterson. Thank you. Thank

1:14:42

you, Paul. Thank you for this gift. Here's

1:15:15

what I'll say. I'm

1:15:17

on board for that. That

1:15:20

looks great. How

1:15:23

many episodes do we got? 39 episodes. I

1:15:26

mean, I also like that he's

1:15:28

somehow dressed like Waldo. He

1:15:32

looks a lot like Waldo. Yeah. Waldo

1:15:35

with a big long dick. What

1:15:37

the fuck? John. And that's a

1:15:39

kid's show. Four to eight year old. It's not.

1:15:42

It's not. Imagine if they tried to do

1:15:44

an American adaptation of that.

1:15:46

How much people would lose

1:15:48

their fucking money. They're

1:15:50

trying to show us kids a man with a 12

1:15:53

foot dick. Well now I'm

1:15:55

going to say. I'm like obsessed with that. That

1:15:58

is some nuts level stuff. Guys,

1:16:00

we really fucking do the task. This

1:16:04

was, I am shocked beyond

1:16:07

belief by so much of

1:16:09

what has transpired on this stage. And

1:16:12

isn't it wonderful that 13 years

1:16:14

in, we can still delight in

1:16:16

this absolute trash. It

1:16:18

really is. Together. And I

1:16:20

will say this, cut that from the podcast. Don't

1:16:24

put out videos of me

1:16:26

saying nice things. I

1:16:28

will say this, we put

1:16:30

this show on sale at the very last

1:16:32

minute in New York. You always come out.

1:16:34

We appreciate it. We'll be back and we'll

1:16:36

torture you more. We'll find other way to

1:16:38

do it. I'm so excited that you're here. We

1:16:40

love being a fan. I just want

1:16:42

to give a shout out to our amazing tour

1:16:44

manager, Beth Thomas. Thank you, Beth. Give it up

1:16:47

for Beth. Give it up

1:16:49

for June Diane Raisfield. Give it up

1:16:51

for Jason Mandzukas. I apologize. Thank you,

1:16:53

everyone. This was amazing. Thank you. Good

1:16:56

night. Eat shit, Brooklyn. Thank

1:16:59

you so much to the staff of the

1:17:01

Brooklyn Academy of Music and our

1:17:03

amazing tour manager, Beth Thomas. If you want

1:17:06

to feel like you were a part of

1:17:08

the show, you can get yourself a t-shirt.

1:17:10

That's right. We designed it live with the

1:17:12

audience at night. It says, Ronal the Barbarian,

1:17:14

a movie for women with an image of

1:17:17

Barbarian June standing on top

1:17:19

of a pile of skulls. And yes, one

1:17:21

skull does have Jason hair. You

1:17:24

can snag that shirt and all of

1:17:26

our shirts at tpublic.com/stores slash HDTGM. And

1:17:28

people, it's time. It is time to

1:17:31

buy my book. I know you might

1:17:33

be putting it off because it doesn't come

1:17:35

out until May. But guess what? You got

1:17:37

to buy it now. And then when it

1:17:39

comes out in May, it will be a

1:17:41

surprise, a beautiful surprise. And if you pre-order,

1:17:43

you can get access to a very special

1:17:45

part of my website where you can see

1:17:48

videos and clips and things that have never

1:17:50

been seen before. Plus, if you get the

1:17:52

audiobook, there are tons of bonus features in

1:17:54

there. So there you go. I

1:17:56

will not be able to record a brand new

1:17:58

Last Looks next week since we will be... be

1:18:01

on tour in the UK so instead we will

1:18:03

be re-releasing a How to Discomade classic episode in

1:18:05

its place. I'm talking about the only movie in

1:18:07

the fast franchise we haven't yet pulled out of

1:18:09

the vault. That's right, Hobbs

1:18:11

and Shaw featuring all star guests Adam Scott

1:18:13

and Nicole Byer. So if you want to

1:18:16

find out what our next movie is going

1:18:18

to be make sure you tune into that

1:18:20

Hobbs and Shaw re-release because I will announce

1:18:22

it at the top of that episode and

1:18:24

don't worry we will still be following up

1:18:26

on Roanoke the Barbarian on a future super-sized

1:18:28

last looks and don't forget to

1:18:30

send us your corrections and omissions by leaving

1:18:32

a voicemail at 619-PAUL-ASK or

1:18:36

writing a comment on our Discord

1:18:39

at discord.gg slash hdtgm. Alright

1:18:41

people we are going to be in Europe

1:18:43

and we want you there. Tickets are still

1:18:46

available for some locations and remember you can

1:18:48

find us online everywhere at hdtgm or visit

1:18:50

us at hdtgm.com. If you love the show

1:18:52

tell your friends to listen to it too.

1:18:54

Seriously word of mouth is the best mover

1:18:57

of this pod and you know what? It's

1:18:59

a lot more fun arguing about bad

1:19:01

movies with a buddy. And

1:19:03

last but not least I gotta say thank

1:19:05

you to all your listeners who support this

1:19:07

show every week and our entire team who

1:19:09

this show couldn't be done without. I'm talking

1:19:12

about our producer Scott Sawney, Molly Reynolds, our

1:19:14

movie picking producer Avril Hailey, our engineers Casey

1:19:16

Holford and Rich Garcia and our associate producer

1:19:18

Jess Cisneros. That's all I got people we

1:19:20

will see you next week until then bye

1:19:23

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