0:00

We're in a period of rapid change, and sometimes

0:02

it can feel like things are spinning out of

0:04

control. With political tensions,

0:06

anxiety, and loneliness rising, and questions

0:09

about how to live a good life on

0:11

everyone's mind, finding answers can seem

0:13

harder than ever. For millennia,

0:15

spiritual thinkers have offered wisdom and tools to

0:17

help people find their way in trying times.

0:20

Advice that even a scientist like me, Dave

0:22

Disteno, is finding have a lot to offer.

0:25

To join the conversation, look for How

0:27

God Works wherever you listen to podcasts.

0:38

Hello and welcome to Hysteria. I'm

0:40

Erin Ryan. And I'm Alyssa

0:43

Mastromonico. Alyssa, when's the last time you fell

0:45

asleep during something you were supposed to be

0:47

awake for and was it court? He

0:51

could not keep his head up. I

0:53

never even fell asleep in class. Like even

0:55

in college, even when I was really tired.

0:58

No. Even if I wanted

1:00

to, I couldn't. No,

1:02

the only time I fell asleep was when I was

1:04

on the carry campaign and we went out to see

1:06

a movie and I was so tired I just passed

1:09

out. We were in the first row. That's

1:11

the only time I can remember falling asleep during anything when

1:13

I should have been awake. I feel like

1:15

Donald Trump maybe gave Ruth Bader

1:18

Ginsburg shit when she sneezed a little

1:20

bit during the State of the Union

1:22

and then she said it

1:24

was because she'd had a couple glasses of wine

1:26

with dinner, which... Respect.

1:29

A hundred percent respect, but like,

1:31

Don, what's going on? Here's the

1:33

thing. She fell asleep during a

1:36

very long speech in a room that was

1:38

probably too warm. He's falling

1:40

asleep in the middle of

1:42

his trial. You think he'd be a little activated.

1:44

You know what I mean? I

1:48

don't know, man. He's on... I

1:50

can't even wrap my head around how bizarre the

1:52

times are we're living through. He's just like on

1:54

a rage bender. And he

1:56

gets sleepy afterwards. Apparently.

2:00

We've got a lot of information in the show this

2:02

week. We've always got information. Yeah, chocolate block. A

2:04

lot of information, but I think it's useful stuff,

2:07

especially as we're getting toward the part of

2:09

the campaign season that I think

2:11

you and I have both referred to as

2:14

some variation of bullshit season. It's

2:17

bullshit season. Where everybody's looking for

2:19

gaffes and reading national

2:21

polls. Killing time until there might

2:23

be some real debate. And the

2:25

conventions are months away still. We

2:27

already know who the candidates are.

2:30

RFK Jr. is just kind of out

2:32

there, Leland Palmering,

2:35

whatever. Be in there. Yeah,

2:38

so we have a lot of information

2:40

for you today. We talk a lot

2:42

about new ways that Republicans at the

2:44

state level are trying to villainize abortion.

2:48

Public abortion has been on a winning

2:50

streak at the ballot box for going

2:52

on two years now. They're

2:54

trying to attach new scare words

2:56

to it, and we are not

2:58

falling for it. Nope. We're

3:01

also talking about a very sad,

3:03

small breakthrough in the bleak

3:05

world of parental leave in the U.S.

3:09

It now seems that more people are

3:11

eligible to take time off unpaid. Unpaid.

3:14

But at least you won't get fired. Upside.

3:17

We're also talking about the tragedy in

3:19

Australia and how misogyny and violence are

3:21

often tied together. And then we

3:23

get into why North Carolina is going to

3:25

be super important this fall and

3:28

a lot of important and

3:30

also batshit crazy races down there. A

3:32

lot of stuff down there. We

3:35

didn't even get to talk about the lady who was literally

3:37

a January 6th. There's a

3:39

lady. Oh God, yeah. Yeah, January 6th. We'll

3:41

come back to North Carolina another time. It's a lovely

3:44

time. So much time. Lovely place to revisit. And then

3:46

we have a Sandy Petty that

3:48

I think is extremely sane and extremely petty. You're

3:54

listening to Hysteria, the podcast for people who for

3:56

once in their lives are jealous of people in

3:58

New York City who got jury duty summons. this

4:00

week. Can we talk about this for a

4:02

second? Yeah, let's talk about it for a second. I need

4:05

cable news to stop trying to figure

4:07

out who the jurors are. I don't

4:10

want to know the profile of the jurors. We

4:13

cannot make it so that people can't

4:15

perform their civic duty anymore because they're

4:17

at risk of being doxed. So I

4:19

just need people to let it be.

4:22

Just let the jurors be the jurors.

4:24

I just...why is that newsworthy? It's...I think

4:27

they're trying to do like socioeconomic profiles of

4:29

people who are on the jury and

4:31

they're giving such distinct marking information

4:33

about their jobs and like where

4:36

they live that I really I

4:38

need them to stop. These people

4:40

are already putting themselves at risk by being

4:42

on this jury. We don't have to make

4:44

it worse. Yeah, that's really that's really a

4:46

good point and you know I've

4:48

been called for jury duty a couple times

4:50

and I've gotten out of it

4:52

because well I can't

4:54

be on the jury. I can't. I'm like in

4:57

opinion part of the media. Let me tell

4:59

you something. They did not care.

5:01

When I was in called for New York

5:03

City jury, I tried every

5:05

trick in the book. Worked for

5:08

Obama. Don't believe in the depth. Like

5:10

all the things you can imagine they were like you're good.

5:12

Sit down. Oh man. That

5:15

is that's rough. Yeah,

5:17

you know I've noticed a

5:19

lot of cable news has

5:21

to do with authoritative

5:23

prognosticating. That if that

5:26

I think if any other discipline we're trying

5:28

to do it we would be like what

5:30

are you talking about? Like it's people sitting

5:32

there trying to predict the future based

5:35

on you know rather than talk

5:37

about the present and it's like I don't

5:40

know. It's a no thank you.

5:42

We don't need this focus on something

5:44

that's actually like more important. I'm gonna

5:47

do prognosticating. I say leave it to

5:49

the pros. Like talk to

5:51

a tarot card reader. I would rather have

5:53

a tarot card reader on MSNBC being like

5:55

uh-oh the fool what does that mean or

5:58

like talk to Nicole from 90 day

6:01

fiance. Not

6:03

Nicole from 90 day fiance. I'm talking

6:05

like Chan. I'm talking like Channy.

6:08

We would get somebody like a

6:10

whore. I mean she is the

6:12

pro. Exactly. But I honestly would

6:14

rather sit around and like think

6:16

about the future and the

6:18

direction of that things are going using

6:21

like I don't know something a little

6:24

bit more mystical than a person who

6:26

went to Yale Law School trying

6:28

to like be intuitive. I

6:30

get it. I agree. I just it's like

6:32

mute. Sorry. Moving on now. What is happening?

6:35

I don't really need to and then look

6:37

I'm prefacing this in a show where we're

6:39

going to speculate on what's going to happen.

6:41

But I think our listeners know and we

6:44

acknowledge that we're just trying to

6:46

understand what could happen right and

6:48

the power that we have over whether

6:51

or not that that does happen. Okay.

6:56

So first a really dark

6:59

story from overseas that

7:01

I think we should

7:03

nevertheless talk about because it's yet another

7:05

example of how the link

7:08

between misogyny entitlement and

7:10

violence transcends cultures. It

7:12

transcends countries. It

7:15

is it is universal. If anything

7:17

is universal the link between misogyny

7:19

and violence is universal. On

7:22

Saturday in Sydney Australia a man

7:25

killed six people and injured a

7:27

dozen more in a

7:30

shopping mall a busy shopping mall. It

7:33

appears that he targeted women.

7:36

One of those people who was killed was

7:38

a baby. He committed

7:41

the stabbings at a dress shop. His father

7:43

told the media he wanted a girlfriend who's

7:45

got no social skills and he was frustrated.

7:48

Alyssa does

7:51

this sound a little bit like the

7:53

way that we talk about tragedy when it

7:55

happens here? Yeah I

7:57

mean it's excuse making right.

8:00

It's like, well, here are the mitigating

8:02

circumstances. Here's what drove him to it,

8:05

without saying that his

8:08

inability to get a girlfriend may

8:10

have been tethered to a million

8:13

things other than women themselves. Yeah.

8:16

And I think that a lot of times

8:18

people rush to tie things

8:20

to someone being mentally

8:22

unwell. And I, first

8:24

of all, there are a lot of

8:27

people walking around the world who are

8:29

mentally unwell and who put in a

8:31

lot of effort to managing that mental

8:33

illness and putting themselves

8:36

into a place where they can be productive members of society

8:38

and not destroy people. Secondly, I

8:40

think that mental illness sure loves to

8:43

glom onto misogyny. It

8:45

is funny how that works. And

8:47

when you are a man

8:50

who is brought up in

8:52

a society of any kind that

8:54

preaches any sort of entitlement to women and you

8:56

are denied what you believe you are entitled to

8:59

and you are dealing with

9:01

a complicating factor, I think that

9:03

is just, it is over and

9:05

over again a recipe for

9:07

just violence and tragedy.

9:11

My heart goes out to the people in

9:13

Australia. They have really tough gun laws there.

9:17

He was eventually brought down by

9:20

a female cop who basically opposite

9:22

Yuval Deed. She

9:25

was by herself

9:27

and she ran in and didn't know exactly

9:29

what she was getting into. So whatever the

9:31

cops in Yuval Deed were, she was the

9:34

opposite of that. And she was

9:36

able to take him down. There were people

9:38

in the mall who were first responders, Australian

9:40

first responders who ran from safety

9:42

to help people. And

9:45

so there are, I guess,

9:47

moments of good humanity

9:49

among this sort of explosion

9:52

of bad humanity, but it is just one of

9:54

those stories that makes you think like you

9:57

can have a whole community of people who just want to

9:59

like. grow a garden. Yeah.

10:02

And all it takes is one asshole with a

10:04

gas can to just fuck the whole thing up.

10:07

Totally. And to force someone

10:10

like that female cop to have to put her

10:12

life on the line. Uh-huh. Because he was having

10:14

a bad day. Uh-huh. None of the people

10:16

that put their lives on the line should have had to put

10:18

their lives on the line for that. Totally. And in

10:21

any mass tragedy like that, it just

10:23

is... We look for moments

10:25

to celebrate, you know, we sort of, to

10:27

quote Mr. Rogers, we look for the helpers.

10:29

Totally. But they shouldn't have had to do

10:31

that. Nope. They shouldn't have had to

10:33

do that. Nope. OK. So

10:36

going back stateside, we're going

10:38

to talk a little bit

10:40

about the new ways that

10:45

Republicans are trying to message

10:48

their untenable stance on abortion. We see

10:51

them. We see them. Alyssa, let's talk

10:53

a little bit about this. All

10:55

right. Erin? So

10:57

like you said, we're seeing upsetting

10:59

trends in states with Republican led

11:01

legislatures. Did a little

11:04

deep dive with the North Carolina Newsline. GOP

11:06

states like Kansas, Louisiana, and Tennessee

11:08

are pushing bills that would outlaw

11:11

abortion coercion or trafficking. In other

11:13

words, forcing someone to get an

11:15

abortion or helping them get one

11:17

out of state where it

11:19

is legal. Republicans keep pushing

11:21

these and other anti-abortion bills, even

11:23

though they're widely unpopular, especially in

11:25

states like Kansas. So

11:28

Erin, let's talk about abortion

11:30

coercion and the bill that

11:32

is on deck in Kansas. At first blush,

11:34

you're like, yeah, no one should be forced

11:36

to have an abortion, right? Right.

11:39

That's part of what reproductive justice is.

11:41

Everyone makes their own decisions for

11:43

themselves. But that's where the dodginess sort of

11:46

sets in. Uh-oh. OK.

11:48

Uh-oh. Here we go.

11:51

It's going to start with Kansas.

11:53

Republican legislators in Kansas continue to

11:55

introduce bills related to abortion, despite

11:57

Kansas voters' overwhelming rejection of abortion

11:59

bans. in a referendum shortly after

12:01

the Dobbs decision in 2022. Abortion

12:05

is legal in Kansas and six

12:07

clinics provide in-clinic services. But

12:11

right now, House Bill 2436, which

12:14

is still awaiting action by the governor,

12:16

Laura Kelly, a Democrat, this

12:19

bill addresses abortion coercion, making

12:21

it a felony to pressure

12:23

someone into an abortion, including

12:25

doctors. Okay. Right?

12:28

Okay. Okay. Right. Okay.

12:32

This, okay. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna stop

12:34

right here because I'm please, okay. I

12:37

gotta say this. The people writing

12:39

these laws are depending on the

12:41

people that they're trying to reach

12:43

never having had any interaction

12:46

with an abortion provider.

12:48

Yep. And because here's the thing, a

12:53

friend of mine, friend of mine who was

12:55

found herself pregnant was married, but not like

12:57

in a economically,

12:59

it wasn't like a great time, found

13:02

herself pregnant, couldn't really like afford

13:04

healthcare. But she kind of, she

13:06

wanted to have the baby, but was just like, I

13:09

don't know if I can do this. She went to

13:11

Planned Parenthood for like an exam, you know, when she

13:13

found out she was pregnant and the

13:15

people at Planned Parenthood like listened to her

13:17

and talked to her. And

13:19

she said they kind of like after talking to

13:21

them, she realized that she could do it. Like

13:24

you don't, they're not selling you on anything. They're

13:26

selling you on making the right decision for yourself.

13:29

And like, I've never experienced anything

13:31

but compassion and care

13:33

from people who provide abortions

13:36

or people who work. They're not abortion pushers.

13:39

No, they would prefer not to have

13:41

to do it if you don't want to. Like

13:44

they're not, it's

13:46

like, it's myth making. They're trying to

13:49

make abortion providers into

13:51

just monsters. And I've

13:53

only seen them ever operate with compassion.

13:55

Yes. I mean,

13:57

why would you go into that line of work

13:59

if you didn't have a compassionate approach. Well isn't

14:02

that kind of telling on themselves? Yeah,

14:04

I got it. Right? Yeah, that is

14:06

true. They're not. They can't

14:08

believe that people working at Planned Parenthood

14:11

just want the best for someone who

14:13

comes in. They believe because

14:15

they operate from a place of only

14:18

being motivated by agenda that everybody else

14:20

is too or they're projecting that and

14:22

it's really sad and

14:24

pathetic. But Erin, I was like, you

14:27

know, older lady really can't sleep

14:29

much anymore. It's pretty terrible, but it

14:31

did give me time to do a

14:33

little Google rabbit hole on coerced

14:36

abortions because I'm like, why is this

14:38

such a thing? They need, they think they need to legislate

14:40

that they need to prevent. And

14:43

I found the center against forced

14:45

abortions. Erin, it lives under the

14:47

umbrella of the Justice Foundation, which

14:49

is based in San Antonio, Texas

14:53

on the landing page for the

14:55

group, which is the landing page

14:57

fairly innocuous. They're just like, it's

14:59

like research. It's like pretty straightforward.

15:01

However, once you look

15:03

up top, you can click on the moral

15:05

outcry button, which has a petition to make

15:07

abortion illegal in all 50 states and has

15:09

over 500,000 signatures. They

15:12

state at the center

15:15

against forced abortions, that abortion is

15:17

a crime against humanity, kills babies

15:19

and hurts women. They also say

15:21

that new science shows that life

15:24

begins at conception, including IBS. Okay.

15:27

So once again, not

15:30

so much about safeguarding more about their

15:32

crazy policy. Yeah. And this also concerns

15:34

me because I think a lot of

15:36

times, especially if you're younger and

15:40

you find yourself pregnant and maybe you were brought

15:42

up in a religious tradition or

15:44

around people that were really judgmental about

15:46

abortion. Sometimes when

15:48

you talk to a friend, what you

15:50

are looking for is permission from

15:53

them to be like, you want to have an

15:55

abortion, but in your head, you're just like, I feel

15:58

like it's bad. I feel I should feel

16:00

that. I just want someone to tell me I'm not a

16:02

bad person. Exactly. Exactly. And that's not

16:04

coercion. That is just empathy. That is just listening

16:06

to them, listening to what they're saying, listening to

16:09

where they're at, and being like, how you're feeling

16:11

is okay. What you want is okay. You want

16:13

to move on with your life right now. You're

16:15

not ready to be pregnant, give

16:17

birth, and be a mother. So move on with

16:19

your life and maybe later in your life you

16:21

will be ready for those things. Maybe

16:23

not. Right. But maybe later in your life you'll be

16:25

ready for those things and don't you want to be

16:27

the best mother you can possibly be. In

16:30

which case you should wait until you feel like you're

16:32

ready. Could I get

16:34

arrested in Kansas if this bill became law?

16:36

Who knows? That's the thing about everything they're

16:39

doing, Erin. It is so like... They're

16:43

just confusing people to no end such that

16:46

you have no idea what you can or

16:48

cannot do except that if you err on

16:50

the side of not having an abortion you're

16:52

probably safer. No, not...

16:54

As it relates to the law. Okay, but as it

16:56

relates to your life... No, a

16:59

pregnancy is so many, many, many fold

17:01

times more dangerous than having an abortion

17:03

and having a child is also

17:06

very, you know, whatever. It's right. This

17:08

is stupid. Okay, so they're also

17:10

trying something like this in Louisiana.

17:12

Yeah, abortion is banned at any

17:15

stage of pregnancy in Louisiana with

17:17

exceptions to save a pregnant patient's

17:19

life, preserve their health, or for

17:21

fatal, fatal anomalies. So

17:23

what are they doing? Well, Senate Bill 276, which

17:26

is awaiting consideration

17:28

in the Louisiana Senate, creates a new law

17:30

to make it a crime to force someone

17:32

to take abortion medication. No.

17:35

Erin, again, doesn't

17:37

that kind... You shouldn't force anything

17:39

on anybody, right? Well, the legislation

17:42

I've read was sponsored by Senator

17:44

Thomas Pressley, who sit there, was

17:47

the Texas woman, right? Yep. Who

17:49

was forced to take abortion pills

17:51

without her knowledge, which should absolutely

17:53

be a crime. Correct, it's poisoning!

17:55

It's poi- it's poisoning, like she-

17:57

but I think that that's already

17:59

illegal, right? Right. Like, and

18:01

the Catherine Herron, the woman

18:03

in Texas, she experienced complications,

18:05

her child was born with

18:07

some challenges, I think some developmental

18:10

delays. Her husband was only sentenced

18:12

to 180 days in prison and

18:14

10 years of probation. Whereas

18:17

if he had been a doctor doing it to

18:19

a woman who asked for it to be

18:21

done, he would have gotten a greater prison

18:24

sentence. So that is bullshit. I think we

18:26

can acknowledge that the Mason Herring thing was

18:29

total bullshit, but like. Complete. I

18:32

don't know that this case

18:34

should be weaponized. No. In

18:37

the way that it is being weaponized. This

18:39

was a bad man who did a bad thing.

18:42

And you and I both know that

18:44

this law is not about that. It's

18:47

not about making sure that someone like

18:49

Catherine always has a choice and that

18:51

nothing can be forced on her. It's

18:53

about making sure that there are more babies on this

18:55

planet. Yeah,

18:58

more babies that can be adapted by Christian couples

19:00

taking away from working. Ding, ding, ding. Okay,

19:03

we also have something similar in

19:06

Tennessee. The Tennessee one was, okay,

19:08

so trafficking. It was

19:10

confusing even to me for a minute.

19:12

So here's the thing, trafficking I think

19:14

is a buzzword that Republicans have found

19:16

lands with a lot of people who

19:19

always think they're about to be kidnapped

19:21

in a Walmart parking lot. Pedophile, I

19:23

feel like trafficking and pedophile might go

19:25

together. There's a sort of

19:27

like QAnon Lite, yep, white

19:31

woman in Target in her car being like,

19:33

I almost got kidnapped. No, you didn't. You

19:36

did not, Chloe, you did not almost

19:38

get, you did not almost

19:40

get trafficked. A paper bag

19:42

next to your car did not

19:44

mean you were almost sex

19:47

enslaved. You were really,

19:50

really up your own ass if that's

19:52

what you think, if you think that

19:54

it's, yeah. Anyway, however,

19:57

that word I think is like

19:59

pretty sticky. social media and it

20:01

tends to garner virality for

20:04

people who are looking for virality and I

20:06

think that Tennessee is like, okay, great. We

20:08

will attach the word trafficking to

20:10

the notion of getting an abortion in a

20:12

state where it's actually legal because in Tennessee,

20:14

almost all abortions are banned. So

20:16

House Bill 1895 would

20:18

make it a misdemeanor to assist a

20:20

minor in obtaining an abortion, referring

20:23

to it as trafficking. So

20:26

here's the thing. Tell

20:28

me, trafficking in the

20:32

social media, TikTok freak out

20:34

sense means that you

20:36

were almost forced to

20:39

have your body used for

20:41

something that you did not consent for it to

20:43

be used for. Right. Driving

20:46

a minor to another state for an

20:48

abortion is enabling

20:51

that minor to not have her

20:53

body be used for

20:55

something, it's almost the opposite. I

20:58

mean, yes, she's getting in a car,

21:01

they might be some traffic, but

21:04

I think they're kind of opposite things.

21:06

I think that most people who have

21:09

abortions say, especially if you were like

21:11

a teenager and you had one, you

21:13

could be like, whew,

21:16

I am unencumbered as a result of

21:18

that procedure. But

21:20

yeah, no, now we're saying that

21:22

trafficking is bringing a minor to

21:25

a different state, including the act of

21:27

obtaining abortion pills, regardless of where the

21:29

pills were obtained. So that

21:31

counts as trafficking. That is a real

21:34

stretch. That's

21:36

a stretch, but I

21:38

think it's very fascist messaging.

21:42

Take a word that everyone acknowledges as bad. Say

21:45

that the bad word applies to a thing that you don't

21:47

like. Absolutely. There you

21:49

go. There you go. And

21:51

just to flag this, Tennessee and

21:53

Louisiana, along with Arkansas, Mississippi, and

21:56

Kentucky, have the worst maternal mortality

21:58

rates in America. from

22:01

the years 2018 to 2021. So. Yeah,

22:05

just just need to say that maybe they

22:07

could be focusing on other things. Yeah, it's

22:10

not about the babies. It's not about the

22:12

moms. It's about

22:14

it's about control. It's about control.

22:17

We do have some. I don't

22:20

want to say this is good news. It's a step

22:22

in the right direction. It is

22:24

not a step in the wrong direction. I

22:26

will. That's better. That's better.

22:29

Okay, so anybody in the

22:31

US who has had a

22:33

baby has probably encountered the

22:36

absolute gobsmacking shit

22:38

show that it is to try to

22:40

take leave. There

22:42

is a program in this country called

22:44

FMLA, the Family Medical Leave Act, which

22:46

guarantees 12

22:48

weeks of unpaid leave after

22:51

the birth or after the

22:53

birth of a child or to take care of a sick

22:57

family member. It's unpaid. At

22:59

the end of it, you are supposed to be

23:01

guaranteed the right to return to a job that

23:03

is similar to your job. FMLA

23:05

does what it does, but it

23:07

sort of fucking sucks. It's

23:10

unpaid. It

23:13

only applies to people who work at

23:15

companies with 50 employees or more who

23:17

have been at that company for at

23:19

least a year. So about half of

23:21

American workers don't qualify for FMLA and

23:23

have to rely on the largess of

23:25

their employers to be like, okay, no,

23:27

it's fine. You don't qualify,

23:29

but we'll still like, you know, but

23:31

they could still by law, like, just

23:33

fire you when you were away on

23:35

leave. Yeah. And it's unpaid and it leaves

23:38

out so many people. So according

23:41

to the 19th, now

23:45

almost all American workers will be

23:47

able to take the same

23:49

unpaid time off after

23:51

childbirth or for an abortion thanks

23:54

to the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act.

23:56

So the law passed in 2022.

24:00

this week the EEOC, Equal

24:02

Employment Opportunity Commission, has finally

24:04

clarified how the legislation will

24:06

function. So

24:09

basically, if

24:11

you work anywhere, and

24:13

you have worked there for any length

24:15

of time, and you are having a

24:17

pregnancy related something, whether that is a

24:19

birth or an abortion,

24:21

or like, you know, care after

24:23

a miscarriage, I'm assuming as well,

24:26

you are entitled to take

24:28

up to six weeks off

24:31

unpaid, and

24:33

you can come back to your

24:36

job. And your employer is required

24:38

to make reasonable accommodations for you.

24:41

So, it is the lowest hanging of

24:43

fruits. Yes, you

24:45

can't be fired for taking leave to take care

24:47

of a baby anymore. The reason that this is,

24:49

you know, now enacted is because there were people

24:51

who were going back to work when their babies

24:53

were like two weeks old. Which

24:56

is like crazy. Insane. With my

24:58

first child, I

25:00

could not even like sit comfortably.

25:03

I'm sure. After two weeks. Like if

25:05

you have a C-section, it's even worse. Like

25:07

you are, it's, look,

25:10

you don't wanna, postpartum is not

25:12

great. If you have a C-section, and you correct me if I'm

25:14

wrong, but this was the case for a good friend of mine,

25:17

after the C-section, she wasn't even supposed to

25:19

carry the baby up and down the stairs

25:21

for a week and a half. Yes, but

25:23

you're also supposed to somehow take the baby

25:26

to a checkup two days later. Confounding.

25:28

Yeah, you're supposed to take the baby to a

25:30

checkup like two days later so they can weigh

25:32

them. Why don't they do house calls? It's all

25:35

really stupid. We do it the stupidest way possible

25:37

in this country. It's the stupidest way. Absolutely. When

25:39

you read stuff like this, you have to assume

25:41

that the people at the EEOC, when

25:43

waiting through the 100,000 comments. I'm

25:47

so curious about this. I tried to get in. I

25:49

tried to see, but they've been shut off. They were

25:51

close, because it was done, but I tried to see

25:54

it. I tried to. Can we foyer them? I think

25:56

we should be able to foyer them. Let's

25:58

do it. They're probably gonna charge us like. like $80 to

26:00

print out all those. You know what? Let

26:03

me treat you. Oh, wow, early

26:05

birthday present from Alexa. Early birthday for

26:08

you. We're going to foyer the comments

26:10

and drink them over tea on FaceTime.

26:12

I'm just really curious because I think

26:15

the EEOC, when it comes to new

26:17

rules, it's whatever. I'm

26:19

going to get in the weeds. So the federal register

26:21

will have a comment period for things

26:23

like this. And people can be like,

26:26

this is what I think about. Whatever. And

26:28

apparently 96,000 of the 100,000 comments were

26:32

about abortion. Now, I'm wondering if they were

26:34

like, what about if I

26:36

have an abortion? Or if they were like, this

26:38

better not be for abortions. Or

26:40

if it was some combination. I mean, we

26:42

know who's the most mobilized when it comes

26:45

to writing shitty comments on things. Yeah.

26:48

Although, I think that

26:50

the left is getting better at shitposting. It's

26:52

a good point. It's a good point. But I'm really

26:55

curious what those comments were. I

26:57

could see there being some kind of coordinated effort

26:59

to try to get people to comment on

27:01

this, to make it so whatever. There

27:04

are some exceptions here. So if you're a

27:07

person who worked for a religious employer, you

27:10

can be denied the right to take leave

27:12

after an abortion. I'm

27:14

just saying this. Just fucking lie. Yeah.

27:18

Just lie. Like, whatever.

27:22

What are they going to do? They lie to us

27:24

all the time. All the time. I'm

27:27

saying I endorse. Just fucking

27:29

lie. They are not entitled to

27:31

your truth in this matter. You don't get a

27:33

trophy for fucking yourself

27:36

over. Just lie.

27:39

This is a good, this is an OK

27:41

lie. This is a good lie. Totally fine.

27:44

But if you work for the

27:46

state of a place like Texas,

27:48

also, where abortion is banned,

27:51

basically, you can't take the sleeve

27:54

either. I would

27:56

recommend, if you can, getting the

27:58

hell out of Texas. But that's

28:00

just if you have the ability to, you

28:03

could go ahead and... You know, you have to think, Erin.

28:06

So using Texas as an example, do

28:08

you have to provide like a doctor's

28:11

note? Like how is

28:13

this enforceable, I guess, is my point. I

28:16

don't know. Maybe they should give out t-shirts after abortions

28:18

that say, I just had an abortion. I did it.

28:20

Or if I did it.

28:22

Oh, R-I-P-O-J. Yeah,

28:26

so this is another thing that's

28:28

like, I don't know. A

28:31

lot of these rules to me do not get

28:33

publicized enough. I think a

28:35

good example of like moms feeling

28:39

like they don't have the rights that they have is like the pump

28:41

act. There's a law on

28:43

the books right now that if you

28:46

are a breastfeeding mom, you're entitled to

28:48

a private room with a

28:50

door that locks and reasonable breaks. And

28:54

I think in a mini fridge, I think a

28:56

place to store your milk. Did

28:58

that come around like 2015, 2014? It

29:02

has been a law for quite some time.

29:04

And a lot of employers just straight up

29:06

don't provide that space for you. And they

29:08

cannot make you go into the bathroom. That

29:10

is against the law. It has to not

29:12

be a bathroom. They have to do

29:14

that for you. And so many places don't do it

29:16

for you. And I think there are a lot of

29:18

people who don't know that they can complain about it.

29:22

You know what? Let's find a couple

29:24

of good links to post in show

29:26

notes today about what people are entitled

29:28

to when they are having children. Yeah, I

29:30

mean it's not very much. It is not

29:32

much of the US. No, it's like the

29:35

pump act and the pregnancy fairness act. Yeah,

29:37

but I think that one of the problems

29:39

here is that a lot of the women

29:41

that this would benefit are not necessarily people

29:43

that are like opening

29:46

the 19th newsletter every morning. And

29:48

being like, what's going on in the

29:50

world of reproductive justice? I

29:52

think that there are people that maybe are

29:54

disempowered and aren't really,

29:57

they don't have as much information and so they

29:59

wouldn't. even know when the rights are being violated.

30:02

And so I think it's just

30:05

really important for us to get the word

30:07

out. If you have friends and family, let

30:09

them know that this is something now and

30:11

their employers have to do this. I

30:15

will say though that if employers are like, no,

30:19

what recourse do you have?

30:22

Do you have to like... Right. You have to file

30:24

a complaint with the EEOC, right? I

30:26

believe so, but that can take a long time.

30:28

And so by the time that's all done, you're

30:30

just like, okay, well, not pregnant anymore.

30:33

Because this is actually now that the rule

30:35

is finalized, that is one of the things

30:37

people can do now is they can sue.

30:40

I think the EEOC has a website that you can

30:42

file stuff on. Yep, they do.

30:44

I was on it this morning. Were

30:46

you complaining about me, Alyssa? Erin,

30:49

never. I was finding the official statement they put

30:51

out because I wanted to see the details. So

30:55

yeah, we still don't have paid leave in this

30:57

country and this is how it's still fucking bullshit.

31:00

And we have Joe Manchin and every Republican

31:02

in the Senate to thank for that because

31:05

we were so, so close. So

31:07

close. So close, but now we don't have

31:09

it. And this is the best that we have now.

31:12

And it's as good as it

31:14

gets. It still sucks. It's better.

31:17

It sucks slightly less than what it

31:19

was before, but it still sucks. Yeah.

31:22

Okay. We're going to take a quick break. When we

31:24

come back, Alyssa, what

31:26

MSNBC host would say this, North

31:29

Carolina, come on and raise up, take your

31:31

shirt off, twist it around your

31:33

head, spin it like a helicopter, as

31:35

Petey Pab would say, that's

31:37

my Ari Melber. Oh, I was

31:39

like, is that Chris Hayes? Not a woman. That's

31:42

all I knew. It's not a woman. No, no,

31:44

no, that's Ari. Ari Melber loves to quote like

31:46

hip hop lyrics and every time we've been going

31:48

into North Carolina stuff, I just think about that

31:50

Petey Pab song that was like playing at every

31:53

bar when I was underage in

31:55

college. Do you know what my parents love to

31:57

say when you're on Ari Melber? What? on

32:00

with the hip-hop guy. Oh, that's I

32:02

think I think you would probably think

32:04

that was funny. Okay, we're gonna take

32:06

a quick break when we come back,

32:09

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36:42

podcast for people whose

36:44

Instagram recommendations were absolutely

36:46

chock full of slays

36:49

from the WNBA draft red

36:51

carpet this weekend. Whoa. Oh,

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nonstop. It was the elusive

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first picture that pops up that vaporizes

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when you open Instagram. But luckily there

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were so many more behind it. Who

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gave Angel Reese the right? That

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is my question. Incredible.

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That orange carpet for the WNBA

37:11

draft was more glamorous and stylish

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and cool than all

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the award shows. Yeah, man.

37:18

It was. Honestly. I

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also was thinking as I was looking at pictures

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of it and footage and stuff. You

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know who would love this? Who? Prince.

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The late singer Prince. Absolutely.

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He was so obsessed

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with tall, strong women

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he loves very tall

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women. Prince forever. I

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know. I hope he I

37:52

hope that on his Instagram in heaven,

37:54

he just got to see

37:56

as many photos of like just rolling. Yes. with

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delight and glee. Camilla Cardoso

38:02

in that red suit just

38:04

looking like absolute the picture

38:06

of glamour. Yeah,

38:10

great. Great stuff. Okay, so today we

38:12

wanted to spend some of our news

38:14

time highlighting North Carolina's role in the

38:16

upcoming election. So I know

38:19

this is like, North Carolina is

38:21

always important because Shaniqua McClendon is

38:23

our political director. Yes. She is from

38:25

North Carolina. Always

38:28

an important state, right? But it's

38:30

like legitimately a

38:33

thing. A thing this time around. The

38:35

state was Biden's narrowest loss in the

38:37

2020 election, which I

38:40

didn't know. I didn't either.

38:42

Yeah, he barely lost the state.

38:45

His campaign has really been putting in

38:47

a lot of effort on the ground

38:49

in North Carolina. They've

38:51

been visiting the state, they've set up field

38:54

offices in the state. Donald Trump, by

38:56

the way, has no field offices anywhere

38:58

really. I think he's just busy trying not

39:00

to fall asleep in his trial. Oh,

39:03

God. His plan

39:06

is the plan of a lot of hot people in

39:08

bed. He's just gonna lay there. Oh, yeah. He's a fish. He's

39:14

just gonna

39:17

campaign wise, he's just gonna show up and be like,

39:19

here I am. Isn't that

39:21

enough? It's so interesting. Yeah,

39:24

I don't know. I don't know what his plan is. But you

39:26

know, again, we can't predict the future. We can't.

39:29

We can only comment on what's

39:31

happening. But North Carolina votes matter

39:33

way beyond the presidency. Democratic

39:36

wins further down ballot could help

39:38

Joe Biden. There's also one race.

39:41

Every election cycle, there's like a few races

39:43

that are like the bonkers races, right? Like

39:46

beyond bonkers. Yeah, like the Kerry

39:48

Lake, Katie Hobbs race for

39:50

governor in Arizona was a bonkers

39:53

race. This cycle's bonkers

39:55

race is the race

39:57

for governor in North Carolina between

39:59

Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson who Donald

40:01

Trump described as a bonkers absolutely

40:04

bonkers Donald Trump described him as MLK

40:06

on steroids I listened to him

40:08

do some speeches at first I was like

40:11

Donald Trump learned about another black person

40:13

and stopped comparing all black people to

40:16

the one well He only knows MLK

40:18

and Kanye those are two right, but

40:20

I did listen to Robinson

40:22

speak and he doesn't sound like MLK

40:25

on steroids at all. He sounds like

40:27

MLK on PCP like

40:31

a Drug a glass punching drug,

40:34

you know Like not a not

40:36

a weightlifting drug a drug like

40:38

a lot to work out. I'm

40:40

inside himself I don't think he

40:42

should be around other people. I

40:44

don't think it's safe I agree

40:46

doesn't seem like a safe person He

40:49

supports a total abortion ban with no

40:51

exceptions for rape or incest and we

40:53

all know that exceptions don't even matter

40:55

anyway Exceptions are just fake,

40:57

but that's why it makes them so easy to

41:00

just fakely support Like I could just do it

41:02

because we know it's fake, but he can't even

41:04

do that. Don't give them ideas Sorry,

41:07

anyway, but no exceptions basically if

41:09

he opposes same-sex marriage, okay His

41:14

opponent is Democrat

41:16

Josh Stein who seems perfectly

41:18

nice and if North

41:23

Carolinians want to have access to reproductive

41:25

rights in their state Stein

41:27

has to win has to have to What

41:30

has to absolutely has to this is almost

41:32

this kind of reminds me of

41:35

another gubernatorial race between a crazy person and

41:37

a guy named Josh Pennsylvania

41:42

Mastriano versus Josh Shapiro God

41:45

bless right. We need all the bring

41:48

us the Josh's Crazy

41:50

be Josh, North Carolina edition

41:54

This mark Robinson has said some

41:56

oh my gosh, Alyssa. You've got

41:58

some Robinson I've got some. I

42:01

got some. There's so many. All

42:03

right, here we go. Aaron, here are some

42:05

of his absolute

42:07

worst. In

42:09

2017, Robinson posted a meme

42:12

referring to Representative Frederica Wilson

42:14

of Florida as a, quote,

42:16

lying liberal, bottom-feeding pond scum

42:19

and, quote, dressing like a rejected

42:21

drag queen from Brokeback Mountain. There

42:24

weren't any drag queens in that movie. He's

42:27

just, we know that. He's

42:29

never watched Brokeback Mountain. Does he think that

42:32

Drag Race is about cowboys and

42:34

Brokeback Mountain is about drag

42:37

queens? It is. It's

42:39

the opposite, Mark. So bad. He hates

42:41

women of color a

42:43

lot. He took particular aim

42:46

at former first lady, Michelle

42:48

Obama, calling her an angry

42:50

anti-American communist black lady and

42:52

saying, wait, she's black? That's

42:55

what I'm learning. Okay. Okay.

42:58

I'm learning. Okay. Saying

43:01

she speaks ghetto. And now here's

43:03

the thing. He wrote Wookiee.

43:05

I think he means Wokee, but I'm

43:07

not sure. It

43:10

would actually be cool if Michelle Obama

43:12

was secretly really into Star Wars and

43:14

did speak Wookiee. But

43:16

this is where, here's another one. In

43:19

October of 2017, he referred

43:21

to Congresswoman Maxine Waters as

43:24

old Maxine Pad Waters. Okay.

43:28

Why is he talking about Maxi Pads? Know

43:32

your limitations even as an absolute fringe lunatic.

43:34

Know your limitations. Is that the reference he

43:37

was trying to make? I think so. Sometimes

43:39

I feel like there's a certain type of

43:41

fringe lunatic Republican who is so online, in

43:43

a part of the online where I will

43:46

never go, that I'm like, I don't even

43:48

follow. What are you

43:50

trying to say? What is this joke? What

43:52

is this reference? Can you diagram the sentence

43:54

for us? Because we don't get it.

43:56

Exactly. You know how

43:58

in China censorship means that a

44:00

lot of... of political humor is

44:03

told through imagery and puns and

44:05

double entendres in pictures.

44:08

But in order to understand the humor,

44:10

you have to speak Chinese and understand

44:12

the tonal variation of different words. This

44:16

is the lowest lowbrow version

44:18

of that. I don't know

44:21

what to-wents are you referring

44:23

to. I do not understand

44:25

any of this stuff. He

44:28

is an exhausting person. There's also

44:30

one other thing I want to

44:32

read which was from a sermon

44:35

he delivered in July What

44:37

is he in the church

44:39

of? Like a sermon just- He's

44:42

just therming. A freelance sermonologist?

44:44

Yeah, he's just like, I'm here and I

44:46

have things to say. Okay, but it's in

44:48

a church? In

44:52

a previously unreported sermon he delivered in

44:54

July 2020, Robinson

44:57

said, quote, we need our men to

44:59

stand up and teach our young men

45:01

how to be men. Okay?

45:04

And when I say men, I

45:07

mean manly men. This is some

45:09

Donald Trump gobbledygook unlike anything else.

45:12

I'm talking about the kind of manly

45:14

men that they want to

45:16

say, you're a male chauvinist pig or

45:18

you're full of machismo. You better believe

45:20

I am. What put that in me

45:22

to be a man? What

45:24

the fuck does that mean? That is

45:27

like, that's not even mad libs. There

45:30

are too many crazy words. Mad libs actually make

45:32

more sense. That sort of

45:34

mentality makes me nostalgic for

45:36

the time of whaling. When

45:39

men would go in large groups into

45:41

the sea. They should

45:43

go whale. Never to return. No, I mean, we

45:45

need something. We need to like make electronic

45:48

whales that they think that they're getting

45:50

because we don't want them

45:52

killing real whales. But I just need there to be

45:54

some kind of reason for them to just disappear

45:58

into the sea. Go

46:00

away. Go away. Go

46:02

away. What are you

46:04

doing for anybody? What is it

46:06

about anything? You're

46:09

just saying the word man over and over again

46:11

and getting angry at

46:13

women for being more

46:15

productive and valuable than

46:18

you. Nicer. Nicer, cooler,

46:20

more pro-social. Chill. Oh,

46:23

God. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

46:26

So, a little bit more about North Carolina

46:28

moving on from Robinson. North

46:31

Carolina has 16 electoral votes. That

46:34

is not nothing. That's not

46:36

nothing. They've got a Democratic governor currently.

46:39

They are a red state that can

46:42

elect Democrats. I wouldn't say they're like Pennsylvania

46:44

where they're sort of like lean blue at

46:46

this point. They're like doing

46:48

it in North Carolina. They're really

46:50

feeling it in Pennsylvania. Yeah. Yeah.

46:53

Yeah. Yeah. Pennsylvania

46:55

is like they tried it on. They're like, I like this.

46:57

They got rid of their old... Feels right. Yeah. They

47:00

got rid of their old wardrobe. They're like, this is how

47:02

I dress now. I'm Diane Keaton in a

47:04

Nancy Meyers movie. Gone

47:06

are the days of my skinny jeans. Anyway,

47:09

that's just me. That's just

47:12

my personal sartorial journey. If

47:16

a Republican wins governorship, North Carolinians

47:18

will see a six-week abortion ban

47:20

and more extreme right-wing legislation, partly

47:22

because the legislature is gerrymandered all

47:25

to fuck. Yep. It

47:27

is gerrymandered all to fuck. And there is a

47:30

Democrat who after a series

47:32

of very suspicious meetings

47:34

and moves switched to the

47:36

Republican Party, giving the Republican

47:39

Party a veto-proof majority. So

47:42

the situation in North Carolina is tenuous.

47:45

It is. And the thing that's

47:47

interesting was one of the things I saw when

47:49

we were reading is the

47:52

polls are getting a little

47:54

bit better in North

47:56

Carolina. Better like more reliable or

47:58

better like they look... like

48:00

they're fewer night terrors. Because

48:03

in general you know how we feel about polls. But

48:07

in the past month Stein is ticking

48:09

up against Robinson. Stein

48:12

is up eight points against Robinson now

48:14

in the most recent Quinnipiac poll. Trump

48:17

is still up though plus two against

48:20

Biden. So

48:22

it feels like if this were a

48:24

trend that continued, Robinson

48:27

is so batshit that even people

48:29

who support Trump are like yikes,

48:32

bridge too far. That Stein could

48:34

help Biden in North Carolina potentially.

48:36

Yeah and I also think Democrats

48:39

don't need to to get too

48:42

tangled up in their messaging here. They

48:44

don't necessarily, I mean, less crazy. Yeah

48:46

I think that they're, I

48:48

think that their steady slow release of

48:51

batshit insane clips from Apple researchers of

48:53

Mark Robinson being nuts.

48:56

I think that's like not going to hurt them.

48:58

But I think that the most important thing is

49:00

like this is a vote

49:02

for whether or not you think that the government should be

49:05

making decisions about your

49:07

body. Like this is, it's,

49:09

that's it. Like you, you vote for, it

49:12

doesn't really, like there's some chatter I've heard

49:14

about Stein being Jewish because I don't think

49:16

North Carolina's ever had a Jewish governor before

49:18

and people are concerned that people, you

49:21

know what honestly, even if you're like

49:24

a person who is uncomfortable with electing somebody

49:26

who has, who is from a demographic that's

49:28

never been elected before in your state, it

49:30

doesn't, none of that matters. What matters

49:32

is electing the Democrat will protect bodily

49:34

autonomy, electing the Republican will not. That's

49:37

it. Plain and simple. Plain

49:40

and simple. Not everything else is

49:42

just like, it

49:44

doesn't matter as much. It's a simple choice. Do

49:46

you think that there should be, the government

49:49

should stand between a woman,

49:52

a pregnant person, and their healthcare decisions? Or

49:54

do you think that's fucking creepy? Because

49:56

I think, Fucking, I vote fucking creepy. I vote

49:59

fucking creepy too. Okay,

50:01

so we are feeling, I don't

50:03

know, not, we're interested in North

50:05

Carolina. I was going to say we're feeling

50:07

engaged. We're feeling engaged with North Carolina.

50:09

We'll be keeping an eye on North Carolina.

50:12

North Carolina listeners, hysteria at crooked.com,

50:15

if you've got some insight into

50:17

how things feel over there. If

50:19

you've got some insight on the vibe.

50:21

Send us tips. Send us tips. Send

50:23

us, you know, thoughts. If you want to vent, you

50:25

can vent to us. Anything.

50:27

Anything you want. We are here. Okay,

50:30

we're going to take a quick break. When we

50:32

come back, send it to corner slash ICA

50:34

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56:01

for those baffled by

56:03

Nike's Olympics uniforms for the track and

56:05

field athletes. What was that? Where do

56:07

the labia go? There is no

56:10

room for the labia. Who

56:13

did this? I don't know.

56:15

I was, that was such a yikes. What?

56:18

Nike is fucking up big time. We did

56:20

an episode of How Did We Get Here,

56:22

the Saturday episode

56:24

of What a Day that I co-host with

56:26

Max Fisher. Right. Which is a lot of

56:28

fun and if you're not already listening you

56:31

should tune in because it's kind of like

56:33

a nerd out deep dive. It's awesome. I

56:35

love every episode. It's super fun. We did

56:37

an episode about the baseball uniforms for practice.

56:39

Yep. Which expanded into a conversation about why

56:41

do clothes suck right now and the reason

56:43

they suck in like the sporting arena is

56:46

kind of because Nike just

56:48

kind of like outsources some of it and

56:50

it's just everyone's kind of phoning it in

56:52

and everybody's trying to save money. Nobody really

56:54

cares about making good product anymore and this

56:58

is just, well I don't, I

57:00

cannot believe, do you think there are

57:02

any women on the design committee for

57:04

this? There could not have been. There

57:07

could not have been. They, Nike better

57:09

be paying for swoosh shaped bikini waxes.

57:12

I was gonna say and yeast

57:14

infection medicine. How are

57:16

you supposed to run in that?

57:18

Those outfits were a yeasty waiting

57:21

to happen. Oh my god. Yeah.

57:23

Do you remember song bodysuits that

57:25

I talk about?

57:27

I mean that's literally like the conceit

57:29

behind these things. It's just like what

57:31

are you guys, I hope that

57:33

the track and field athletes are able to

57:36

figure something out. I would literally cut the

57:38

crotch in mine and like tie it off

57:40

to the side. Something. You wear something.

57:43

And wear like some biker shorts or something. It

57:45

was an outrage. It looks terrible.

57:49

It looks terrible and I hope that there are

57:51

people that are in trouble. Very

57:54

much trouble. Okay, um,

57:56

someone houses for the class. It's

57:59

20 24 we're facing

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another election with unprecedented

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at that exact moment. Alyssa, I never

58:15

think of you as having a regional

58:17

accent, but for me that word is

58:19

route. Okay, so

58:22

I struggled with it. But

58:25

I think that's one of those things depending on

58:27

what part of the country you're from, it's root

58:29

or route. We were both root and routed. See,

58:31

I think of them as different words. Oh,

58:33

really? Like I go on a route or I route something

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or candidates committee. Oh, this

59:23

weekend folks, if you're in LA, this

59:25

is exciting. This is exciting. If you're,

59:27

this is like the last event probably

59:29

I'm gonna be able to like hoist

59:32

myself to before I have to just like

59:35

formulate an ass groove in my own couch and

59:37

sit there until this

59:40

baby comes. But this weekend if you're

59:42

in LA on Sunday, I will be

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59:57

time for sanity corner slash I feel petty. Alyssa,

1:00:00

I'm going to start with a sanity

1:00:02

corner. There

1:00:05

are two new episodes of

1:00:07

beloved Australian children's show, Bluey,

1:00:11

currently available to stream on Disney+.

1:00:14

It is a real treat most

1:00:17

of the time when new episodes come

1:00:19

out in Australia, it takes quite some

1:00:21

time for them to get to us.

1:00:24

As a result, sometimes

1:00:27

what happens in those episodes gets

1:00:29

spoiled because these people in Australia

1:00:31

are posting about Bluey

1:00:34

on, say, the Bluey subreddit,

1:00:37

which is a very active- Where one can

1:00:39

find themselves in the middle of the night.

1:00:41

They may find themselves. The Bluey subreddit is

1:00:43

intense though. I have to not. I'll

1:00:47

go in there every couple of weeks and

1:00:49

be like, what's everyone talking about? But I

1:00:51

remember one time there was a post where

1:00:53

someone was like, I don't think that it

1:00:55

makes me feel bad that their house is

1:00:57

so nice. I think it's like economic shaming

1:00:59

and I was like, it's a fucking cartoon.

1:01:01

It's because speaking of, wait, Bluey, you are

1:01:03

a huge fan of Ms. Rachel. I'm

1:01:06

not a fan. I'm a fan of the fact that

1:01:08

my daughter leaves me alone when Ms. Rachel is

1:01:10

lost. But did you see what Ms. Rachel did in

1:01:12

New York? What did she do?

1:01:14

Ms. Rachel came out against Mayor Adams.

1:01:17

Good for her. I've been saying

1:01:20

she could run for president. Ms.

1:01:22

Rachel came out and was very

1:01:25

totally lovely and she did this direct

1:01:27

camera about how upsetting it is being

1:01:30

in New York to see the mayor

1:01:32

cutting funding for kids programs.

1:01:36

And I was like, is this

1:01:38

the Ms. Rachel that my sister and

1:01:41

Aaron speak of? And I'm like, scroll

1:01:43

back and I was like, good for

1:01:45

her. Future Senator Ms. Rachel, imagine if

1:01:47

Fred Rogers would have run for office.

1:01:49

I mean, maybe he would

1:01:52

have shamed everybody into camaraderie. I mean,

1:01:54

it would have been like Mr. Rogers

1:01:56

goes to Washington. Like a little bit

1:01:58

different like Ted Cruz. Who

1:02:00

hurt you? Now

1:02:03

is that very nice? Yeah,

1:02:05

so Bluey is this show. There's

1:02:08

a bajillion episodes, but they're all five minutes

1:02:11

long, and it really can get you

1:02:13

in the heartstrings. There is an

1:02:15

episode that is a regular length that came out, and there's

1:02:17

an episode that's 28 minutes long, that

1:02:19

feels a little bit like it could be the

1:02:21

show. Like a novella. The

1:02:23

show wrapping up. We're not sure

1:02:26

if it's done or not. The people who

1:02:28

make the show have been working very hard for

1:02:31

years and years to put out as

1:02:33

much content as they're putting out, and

1:02:35

so I think they're all taking a break. But this 28 minute episode,

1:02:37

Alyssa. What?

1:02:42

I almost can't even talk about it without getting...

1:02:45

Did you cry? I saw a

1:02:47

clip from the end of

1:02:49

it that is 15 seconds long,

1:02:51

and I'm crying thinking about it.

1:02:53

Wait, I'm getting teary-eyed just imagining

1:02:56

you thinking about this show.

1:03:02

Whatever black magic they used in the

1:03:04

first five minutes of the film up,

1:03:07

they sprinkle it throughout the show, and

1:03:10

it just surprises

1:03:13

you from around the corner. You're like, wow,

1:03:15

I'm watching a kid's cartoon about dogs, and

1:03:17

suddenly there's a flashback to one of the

1:03:19

adult dogs being a puppy. And you're just

1:03:21

like, whoa! It is crazy. Anyway,

1:03:23

it's crazy. My

1:03:26

daughter started watching it this morning, and

1:03:29

we had to turn it off

1:03:31

to get her ready, and my husband

1:03:33

and I were like, we're gonna watch

1:03:35

this. It's like event TV. Yeah, it's

1:03:38

like the Bluey potential final episode

1:03:40

and the finale of succession. So I

1:03:42

can't miss them. Exactly, but there is-

1:03:44

Co-viewing experience. There is slightly less

1:03:46

swearing in Bluey. They don't

1:03:49

really- That tracks. They don't really swear the

1:03:51

dogs. Also, another thing that happened in this

1:03:53

episode of Bluey, I hope it's not the

1:03:55

last episode, just selfishly, because it's such great

1:03:57

TV, but there was a

1:03:59

queer. couple introduced very

1:04:02

like it like everything in the show

1:04:04

just it was done just like very

1:04:06

nonchalantly right it was just there's a

1:04:09

little chihuahua named pretzel I believe pretzels

1:04:11

pretzels got two moms and

1:04:13

oh it wasn't no big deal

1:04:15

was made out of it it was just like

1:04:18

a matter of fact here they are yeah welcome

1:04:20

yeah exactly so I hope we could see more

1:04:22

of pretzel and pretzels pretzels to

1:04:24

chihuahua mom it's future I mean honestly

1:04:26

I feel blessed that I've watched very

1:04:29

few episodes because I feel like I have a lifetime

1:04:31

ahead of me of bluey consumption

1:04:33

yeah some of them are really good

1:04:35

some of them are like definitely

1:04:38

more for kids some of them like there's

1:04:41

I'll send you a list offline please

1:04:43

please I actually would enjoy it so

1:04:45

bluey and the the extra-large episode is

1:04:47

my sanity corny this week what's

1:04:51

that how about you I'm

1:04:53

feeling super petty ooh

1:04:56

like extremely petty I want to

1:04:58

hear this I'm so excited okay

1:05:01

Aaron Megan

1:05:03

Markle girl why must

1:05:05

you so she announced

1:05:10

her American Riviera orchard a month or

1:05:13

so ago to much fanfare and of

1:05:15

course around the same time that Kate

1:05:17

was missing by the way yeah yeah

1:05:20

everyone's missing Charles has cancer Kate's missing

1:05:22

she's dropping a new line that frankly

1:05:25

objectively the branding of which when it

1:05:27

was dropped looked like something that was

1:05:30

gonna be we were gonna be told

1:05:32

was like a collaboration by in

1:05:35

between American Riviera orchard and TJ

1:05:37

Maxx like it didn't look

1:05:39

you know it looked kind of like a

1:05:41

knockoff of the Magnolia table Joanna Gaines

1:05:44

whole franchise uh-huh and you know there

1:05:46

a lot of people came out and

1:05:48

they were like had

1:05:51

a lot to say and I was like let Megan

1:05:53

be Megan but then she did me dirty Aaron do

1:05:56

you want to know the first product that she dropped

1:05:58

I I

1:06:00

have an idea, but I want you

1:06:02

to say it. It was strawberry jam.

1:06:05

And I just, oh, girl,

1:06:07

if you want, listen, the jamming and

1:06:09

pickling and preserving community, they're a tight-knit

1:06:12

bunch, okay? They workshop a lot online.

1:06:14

They are constantly showing mistakes they have

1:06:17

made or how they've come to, like,

1:06:19

a great recipe that they've come up

1:06:21

with. There are catastrophes, there's

1:06:23

pots boiling over. It looks like SVU

1:06:26

crime scenes, you know, crossover episode with

1:06:28

Ina Garten, just like strawberry sludge all

1:06:30

over the sink. And

1:06:33

she's got these, like, labels,

1:06:35

like she's not even pretending like she made the

1:06:37

jam, which I guess is better, that would annoy

1:06:39

me more. But I just want

1:06:41

to be like, I don't know. Do you know

1:06:43

what pectin is? Does your jam have pectin in

1:06:46

it? Like, what's your ethos? What's your aesthetic? What's

1:06:48

your goal? What's your fourth star with your jam?

1:06:50

What are you doing with this jam that other

1:06:52

people are not doing? Right, like

1:06:55

how are you different than Smucker's or

1:06:57

Beaumamon? Like, give us the backstory, my

1:06:59

friend. And there was just

1:07:01

none of that. And it was just, and

1:07:03

it's just plain strawberry. It

1:07:05

was just strawberry. I mean, which, like,

1:07:07

strawberry don't get me wrong. A lot

1:07:10

of, I'm a purist when it comes to a lot of

1:07:12

fruits, you know, but here's

1:07:14

my thing. You know, you know, because

1:07:17

you have received many a jar of jam

1:07:19

from me, that I label that shit all

1:07:21

myself, everything by hand. I cut every piece

1:07:23

of fruit, I wash it, I pick some

1:07:25

of it, I hot

1:07:28

can process it and I label it. She's

1:07:31

not even labeling her own jars. And if you actually

1:07:33

look at the pictures from the New York Post, the

1:07:35

labels aren't even affixed properly. Ugh.

1:07:38

And I know she didn't do that herself. And I just

1:07:40

feel like, I don't know,

1:07:42

stick to your polo show. I

1:07:45

will defend Meghan Markle until I'm blue

1:07:47

in the face from the stupidity of

1:07:49

the royal family. Totally, 100%. They

1:07:52

were awful to her and I will 100%, like fuck them.

1:07:57

Fuck them for the way they treated her. But

1:07:59

that. can be true and

1:08:01

she can also be annoying. And

1:08:03

she's being annoying. I

1:08:07

don't know. There's every time

1:08:09

there's a new thing, I'm just sort of like,

1:08:11

who is this for? Like what?

1:08:14

What is this audience? Like

1:08:16

I don't understand. Like they're

1:08:18

doing a new Netflix show

1:08:20

now about polo.

1:08:22

Yeah, with Ralph Lauren, I think.

1:08:26

Like, okay. At a

1:08:28

time when the eat the

1:08:30

rich clock is closer to midnight than

1:08:33

it has ever been in my lifetime.

1:08:36

Yeah, right. We've got we've

1:08:38

got like, people are

1:08:40

grave dancing every time a rich

1:08:42

person dies from some something stupid

1:08:44

or something regular. Like nobody is

1:08:46

afraid to celebrate bad

1:08:48

things happening to rich people. Yep. Even if

1:08:50

sometimes it's like, oof, that's a little rough.

1:08:53

Yeah, you're just, but it is still become,

1:08:55

it's become way more socially acceptable. I

1:08:57

don't what? What are you doing? What

1:09:00

are you doing, Megan? It's like

1:09:02

she's made something I love so much.

1:09:05

So boring. But like,

1:09:07

I just what are you like? I like

1:09:11

the polo reality show. I'm just bumping

1:09:13

up against that. So like, like,

1:09:15

to the horse horse game, we want

1:09:18

us all to be like, we love

1:09:20

Yeah, you're so you're such a regular

1:09:22

lady. Yeah, it's literally the most expensive. I

1:09:24

think it's like the most expensive sport you

1:09:27

can engage in. Well, Faberge egg baseball, I

1:09:29

think is a little bit more. You

1:09:32

know what, Aaron, you've got me once again, a little

1:09:34

bit more expensive than playing polo. But it's just like,

1:09:37

what are you what are you doing? Are you

1:09:39

trying? Like, do you think that Americans are at

1:09:41

a point right now where they're really impressed with

1:09:43

elaborate displays of wealth? People are fucking

1:09:46

sick of the Kardashians because of this.

1:09:49

Right. And we've got like hours and hours of

1:09:51

footage of them being like down to earth and

1:09:53

likable and silly for at least the first 15

1:09:55

seasons. Yeah, I don't even know how many seasons.

1:09:57

It's like 100. I don't know. I

1:10:00

just... But yeah, this was

1:10:02

just like, this was just boring to

1:10:04

me. It was just boring. Also

1:10:06

I think because I know

1:10:09

that American Riviera orchard has the word orchard in

1:10:12

it. I still guess I just thought it was

1:10:14

going to be like housewares or

1:10:16

something from the strawberry orchard. Is

1:10:18

that where it came from? Yield,

1:10:20

yield, strawberry orchard, or where I

1:10:23

come from, patch. Yeah, yeah,

1:10:25

that's the word for it. It just seems like

1:10:27

something... A few years ago there

1:10:29

was a couple of tech bros

1:10:31

who tried to purchase, I think it was called...

1:10:34

I think knitting.com, URL knitting.com.

1:10:37

And they were like, we're going to

1:10:39

disrupt the knitting market? There was all

1:10:41

these people... And all these women mostly...

1:10:43

Because it is mostly women who do

1:10:45

embroidery, crochet, knitting,

1:10:48

needlepoint, anything like that. They

1:10:51

were like, what the fuck are you doing? They

1:10:54

basically ran out of the business

1:10:56

because... Joanna Fabrics hive rose up.

1:10:58

Exactly. Well, RIP Joanna Fabrics. I

1:11:01

think they just declared bankruptcy. Oh,

1:11:03

sorry. Yeah, I know. They're

1:11:05

like the best... The best of the best. So much

1:11:07

better than Michael's and it makes me so sad. But

1:11:11

it's just... I don't know trying

1:11:13

to break into the crafty

1:11:17

gal space makes a lot of

1:11:19

sense. Unless you're

1:11:21

devotedly crafty. Right. That's

1:11:24

the thing. If she were someone... That's Erin, you

1:11:26

just hit the nail on the head. If she

1:11:28

were someone who over however many

1:11:30

years had shown us that she was

1:11:32

a crafty person or really loved being

1:11:34

in the kitchen or loved fruit, it

1:11:37

would make a little bit more sense. But this is just like...

1:11:40

Okay. Can strawberries even grow

1:11:42

in Montecito? Is it

1:11:44

too Mediterranean for them? Does

1:11:47

it... I don't know.

1:11:50

Here's the question. Do you think the fruit's

1:11:52

coming from Montecito? I mean, I would

1:11:54

hope so, given the name. Probably coming from

1:11:57

the Central Valley. It's because we grow... Like,

1:11:59

California is America's... fruit basket, bread basket. Thank

1:12:01

God for California. I know, everybody would be

1:12:04

fucked without us. I'm just gonna go ahead

1:12:06

and say that. Biggest port, grow

1:12:08

more vegetables than anybody else. Avocados,

1:12:11

you'd be SOL. But yeah, I don't

1:12:14

know. It just seems like she's trying to do

1:12:17

something, she's trying to get into a business that

1:12:19

is well established, doesn't really have a

1:12:21

need for more people doing it. And

1:12:24

she doesn't really know anything

1:12:26

about the parts of

1:12:28

the business. Right, like there's nothing

1:12:31

about her that screams, I'm an

1:12:33

ambassador for fruit. Yeah,

1:12:35

it's weird. It's

1:12:37

weird. Okay, I respect this. And like,

1:12:40

I think Meghan Markle did not deserve to be

1:12:42

bullied and treated so terribly by the royal

1:12:44

family. I think she is an engaging actress.

1:12:47

I don't think that she's Martha

1:12:49

Stewart and I don't think that she's Kamala Harris

1:12:51

and I don't think that she's any of these

1:12:53

things that she's trying to be. She should just

1:12:55

be her. Yeah, which,

1:12:58

you know, show us what it is. I

1:13:00

guess, I guess like... Tell us. We'll be,

1:13:02

because now, of course, after I have said

1:13:04

this is petty, you know I'm going to

1:13:06

be following everything this stupid company drops for

1:13:08

the next six months. Because

1:13:10

I'm basic and pathetic myself. Well,

1:13:13

at least she's not

1:13:15

making another podcast. Just a second. Good

1:13:18

point. Yeah, okay. That's all

1:13:20

the time we have for this week's episode of

1:13:22

Hysteria. That was a good one. It was a lean and

1:13:24

mean episode. You and I are both very

1:13:26

tired. We're very tired. Too much going on. But

1:13:29

we're still killing it. We're still doing what we can.

1:13:33

That's all we can do is what we can do. And I get

1:13:35

to see you tomorrow. Oh, yeah. We're gonna see

1:13:38

each other in person this week. I am. Oh,

1:13:40

I'm coming on Friday, by the way. Oh! I'm

1:13:43

RSVPing right now. Okay. I've taken that in.

1:13:45

Okay, Alyssa, thank you for being my ride

1:13:47

or die. I can't wait to see you

1:13:49

tomorrow. So, listeners, Hysteria at crooked.com is a

1:13:51

good way to get in touch. We love

1:13:53

you. You guys are the best. There will

1:13:55

be more Hysteria for you next week. Don't

1:14:05

forget to follow us at Crooked

1:14:07

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1:14:09

Subscribe to Hysteria on YouTube for

1:14:11

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And if you're as opinionated as

1:14:17

we are, consider dropping us a

1:14:19

nice review. Hysteria is a Crooked

1:14:21

Media production. Caroline Reston is our

1:14:23

senior producer. Our executive producer is

1:14:25

me, Erin Ryan. And Alyssa Master

1:14:27

Monaco is our co-producer. Fiona Pestana

1:14:29

is our associate producer. The

1:14:31

show is engineered and edited by Jordan

1:14:33

Tanner. We get audio support from Kyle

1:14:36

Seglund and Charlotte Landis. Our video

1:14:38

producers are Rachel Gajewski and Megan

1:14:40

Passell. And thank you to Julia

1:14:42

Beach, Ewa Okolate, Adia Hill and

1:14:44

David Tolz for production support every

1:14:46

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