You know those times when your child does that? It’s infuriating! Frustrating! Annoying!

You’ve asked them so many times! They don’t listen! They don’t change! They don’t even seem to care!

Before you know it, you’re yelling. Or cajoling. Or blaming. Or berating.

Aaagh! And of course, that doesn’t help the situation. Not at all. It makes it worse.

And then you feel even more angry or frustrated or annoyed. Or you feel guilty. Or helpless. Or exasperated.

That’s not how you want your family to behave and it’s not how you want your family life to feel.

What can you do?

I can recommend one simple practice. It’s simple but very powerful.

It’s about creating a space in between.

In between your child doing something and you doing something, there is a space.

When the anger, frustration or annoyance kicks in automatically, there is very little space in between.

Our child does that, and we just react.

But when we can create a little bit of space in between, we can respond instead of reacting.

The Space In-Between can be as simple as a breath. It can be a drop down into our heart space. It can be a walking away for a moment before coming back to deal with the situation. It can be a deeper reflection later on and then discussing it the next day.

That space in between encourages us to see the situation for what it is rather than what we judge it should be. It offers us the opportunity to find the more loving way through a situation. It returns us to our values and ourselves and our inner wisdom.

It opens up the space for us to choose what we do next rather than be driven by some hard-wired reaction.

It’s a practice. And it is likely to take practice. But it is very worth attempting.

Today I find that space in-between so I can respond rather than react.
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