Jodie: Okay. So, what has been most surprising or unexpected about being a parent and parenting?

Interviewee: I think probably for me, when you choose to have a child, you think you’re just having a child, but you don’t realise it actually changes who you are, I think. And I think, you think that a child will fit into your life, but you don’t realise that it actually changes your life and it’s never the same again.

Jodie: And how do they change you?

Interviewee: You learn a lot about yourself through your children, and they really cause you to examine outside of who you thought you were. It’s a journey, I can’t put it into words I don’t think.

Jodie: So what’s something you’ve learned about yourself from being a parent?

Interviewee: Oh my god, how can I put that into words? I think I’ve learned I’m a lot like my mother. I didn’t realise that, and I thought I’d spent a lot of time being not like my mother, but actually, I really am.

Jodie: Great. Okay, so can you describe one of your worst parenting moments?

Interviewee: Oh, jeepers. Can I describe a bad parenting moment? I don’t know that I can think of one off the top of my head. I mean, there are plenty I’m sure, but maybe I’ve tried to forget about them. (laughs)

I think probably, although a specific example doesn’t come to mind, probably when I’ve gotten angry and shouted at my children, but it was actually not really about them, it was about me. I think that’s probably the moment, those moments, there are probably plenty of them, that I’ve sort of externalised my frustration onto them. When actually the situation wasn’t really about them. Yeah, there’s more than one of those, I can’t think of a particular one, but that’d probably be the one, I reckon.

Jodie: So how do you deal with those times?

Interviewee: I think you reflect, and children are amazingly resilient, and they don’t remember those sorts of things at all. So it’s more about us, me and my husband, and I think talking to him about them, confessing them, does help understand what they’re all about. Sometimes what they’re all about is what’s going on with us than it is about them. So being able to just explore that, and be honest with that, and sit with that and that’s what helps, and we all learn along the way. I mean, none of us are perfect about being parents. We just have to make peace with those moments that are less than perfect, and appreciate and understand what they’re all about, and deal with that underlying stuff. Kids don’t remember that stuff, they’re okay, it’s more about us really.

Jodie: And what is a word, or an insight, or an idea that helps you in your parenting?

Interviewee: I think seeing parenting as a journey, not as a goal with an end point, and about growing with the children and understanding that growth as well. I think as your children get older and you move the goal posts a little as they go along. So time changes, and that’s okay, and you don’t get crosswind. You’re not asleep at 8 o’ clock because you’re tired and, well they’re getting older and it’s a journey. Being prepared to grow along the way is important I think.

Jodie: Thank you

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