Jodie: Okay. First of all, what is the most unexpected or surprising thing you found about being a parent or parenting?

Interviewee: Wow, that’s a big question. The most unexpected thing. I think just that unexpected amount of love and care factor that you have for your children, that you just don’t imagine before you have children. It’s something that you just cannot describe to people that probably don’t have children. I think parents get that. That, for me, would be the enormous wrenching on the heart, the love, the care, just wanting the best for your kids, and really putting them above yourself and the selflessness that comes from that love.

Jodie: Okay. Can you describe one of your worst parenting moments?

Interviewee: Yes. I can. I’ve had a few of those. Yeah. I guess, probably what I’ve been very disappointed in myself as a parent, would be when I lose it when things aren’t happening how they should be. Particularly just with trying to teach your children to be more self sufficient and being more able to run with what they need to run with, whether it be school assignments, that’s a big one for me. In fact, that’s improved over the last couple of years.

Both because I think my child has improved and become more independent, but certainly I know that I have had many meltdowns when assignments haven’t been done on time and things are left to the last minute and then there’s pressure, and then I feel pressured when I probably shouldn’t,  really it’s my child’s issue not mine, but I just don’t really like tardiness in the sense of when something is due and there’s a deadline, you need to meet that. It’s part of my responsibility to make sure my child does that. I’ve probably taken on too much and I’ve learned to back off a bit over the years.

Having said that, I know I have really lost my head and my cool when things haven’t been done on time and there’s pressure.

Jodie: How do you deal with those moments?

Interviewee: Well, like I said, I’ve really learned to cope with it a lot better. It’s been a learning experience for me as a parent. Rather, that just yelling, and ranting, and raving, and getting really upset about it, and angry about it, I’ve learned to let go to a large extent. I’ve learned to just empower my child to take responsibility, to make sure that they do what they need to do. If it’s not done, I’m going to be consciously calm about dealing with this and not lose it. I’ll tell you what, it’s quite a struggle to do that. It’s not easy. It does not come easy, but that’s something that I’ve had to learn the hard way. The consequences for me and for whole family and for the child is that nobody feels good when you’ve got a mum that’s ranting and raving and losing the plot. It had to be very much a conscious effort to just keep my calm. I think that’s better for everyone all around.

Jodie: What’s a word or an insight or idea that really helps you in your parenting?

Interviewee: I think just being calm and just taking time. It’s probably not a word, but just probably breath would be the word that comes to mind, which ties back into being calm, taking time, not reacting, not losing it, just breathe, give some people space, let things work themselves out to a large extent. When you do have something to say, try and do it in a calm way that probably comes with breathing before you actually open your mouth. Then say what you have to say.

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