Hello, welcome back. The kinship guide. Hey, man, here and today we're going to be talking to a couple of friends of why. Well, with this episode in talking about everyday stuff that impacts on them. Stick around. Could you guys?

[00:00:38] Well, a very happy, warm welcome to my very special lady. Actually, my first ever guest in the whole wide world or kinship, quite a very good friend of mine. Jasmine, how are you?

[00:00:52] Good. How are you?

[00:00:54] Ah, you know, I'm amazed. I'm amazing. And I think my regular listeners will not why I'm advising. And it's because, you know, some of the things that we got through life, but we need to pick ourselves up in terms of our resilience. And saying amazing becomes a tool and that I use to help me get through life. And that's why I've invited you here today. Jansa I'm really keen to talk to you. You inspire me. You're a young lady. You're twenty three. Tell me a bit about yourself, Jess.

[00:01:30] Well, I I've been through a few things. My family my my dad's Puerto Rican. My mum is an Italian refugee. We didn't have a lot growing up, so we went through a few different rough patches throughout life. I have been through a couple of domestic violence relationships, both physical and mental experience, a lot of mental health. Myself and I didn't go through a lot of high schools due to bullying and so forth, but family myself on the other side of the tracks. Now I'm looking at really high end job, which pays a lot of money as well, which is great because I've had to pay a lot of debts and sort myself out. And, you know, now I'm looking at things, you know, learning the lessons that I should learn early out, but looking back and realising that I needed to learn them now opposed to, you know, earlier in life.

[00:02:21] And there's certain things that happen for a reason later in life. And I think, you know, that's why I am who I am today, is because of all the tough lessons I had to learn earlier.

[00:02:31] Wow. That's amazing. Because if you don't mind me saying just Jason's twenty three healton. When I was twenty three, I was still trying to work out with the boys locker room was. Do you even worry about myself looking in questioning things? And I was just in the state of I was just moving along and just trying to fit in and everything else and struggling. And then I you know, jasin I had a conversation earlier in the week. And then she said she's been through a hell of a lot with her life and domestic violence at a young age. A very young age. I've got to say just what I can say at 17. Yeah. Well you you you've sort of come to a point where you've just gone like her. Yep. This is it. And it's interesting because as being so young, I'm just can't wait till you are like another ten years tall, hoping you'll be awesome. Just tell me in terms of your clothing, what has really helped you sort of move from where you are? Because when you're at that spice, you're not feeling vulnerable. You're open to a lot of lot of other negativities and self-hate as well. Self-loathing, self-doubt. How did you navigate through that tunnel and to watch that little, little spark of light to go right that spot?

[00:03:59] Be the bigger I found for me personally, it was trying to focus on a particular task at a particular thing. And for me personally, I I find it says, well, well, for me, it was the one thing that I could control in my life. And so I grasped on to that and just took control of that. And I found that once I was able to do, you know, get a hold of those kind of things, I was I was able to convince myself that I could be better and I could do things. And once I started doing that self-love or that self talking and sort of convincing myself that I could do other things. You know, like dieting and losing the weight that I need to do. And once I started doing now, I was able to improve my health drastically. And then once I saw that my health was improving, my financial situation improved, everything else sort of just fell into place because of that self-love and that self growth that I had been able to approve. And it was just that one small thing that I knew that I could control the wall my entire life was chaos. And that was just such a small thing like budgeting.

[00:05:05] It was just that one thing that said, look, you're killing me. Here's Thompson, Zion, Zion, Zion, my producer from. That's not kind of podcasting. You do a fantastic job, too, by the way. Find Zion for sponsoring kinship. Koepp Zion. He will listen to all. My gosh, he's got my choice. He's recording boy. Talk about the very thing. I talk about the very thing you talk about. It's about the internalizing of your. Friends and not not looking outside for approval, not looking outside for their hand up because it all starts with them. It definitely does. Jazz wit, can you remember? Just go back to the very beginning in your lowest point with you, your health suffering like, oh, can I all listeners, not jasmines lost 50 kilos, 50 kilos. She was unemployed financial, as you said, she was financially struggling. And now she's getting paid. She's actually she's getting paid more money than I get paid now. But she's good to getting good money. And that's only a short period of time is an adjustment. What was a timeline and when did you when did you hit the point of bouncing off that trampling and saying, enough's enough?

[00:06:29] So I actually was about a six month period between when I had hit rock bottom and to now essentially I had to resign from my last job because of significant health reasons. And it was around about the same time that everything else had pretty much just gone down the drain. And then it was during that six month period that I had being on benefits that I had really had a reality check as such and realised, no, this is my time that I can use to grow. I don't have technically any responsibilities other than myself. So I use that to grow myself. And and it worked beautifully. And that's how I am, where I am beautiful.

[00:07:12] I love that jazz look within the script and you feel like I just I just love this conversation or where I come from. You know, this yarn we're having because. Yeah, it becomes a point in your life way. You just have to grab you a lot of your control of your life. You're plainly articulating that in this conversation. And go back to what you said earlier. You've mentioned, you know, it was your responsibility and you something you can control. I say this in my podcast. Is that the only thing you control in this world? You'll come in butt naked and then you'll go out in a pine box. But the only thing in between. But like in an entry in the pine box exit is that you only have control over yourself. What are your thoughts? This can be a little bit of your logic. And in terms of having control over something you can control as opposed to not having control over others in other situations.

[00:08:20] I think that's something that comes back to. I learnt a lot in clinical services, for example. There's a lot that you can't control. And I think if it came down to it towards the end of my career and employment services, I learned that the one thing I could control, control essentially is assisting job seekers to reach a social outcome over financial outcomes and those kind of things. And I found a greater success rate with those who I work to get to a social, social outcome opposed to, you know, employment or a education outcome, because I had succeeded in their personal life.

[00:08:56] And and that was something that got them further in something that was something that also helped me as well. I said, well, if I can do it, I can do it, too. It's broken. And some of those job seekers, as you have seen yourself in employment services, they have hit ball even sometimes below rock bottom. And they need that support from someone just to get a social, you know, whether that be leaving the house one day a week or in a country, the shock upon themselves or even just buying a new set of clothes just to help them feel better. It's just that small thing that they need to have to feel better and improve, improve their life.

[00:09:32] You look absolutely just desperate. I met this impressive young lady about three years ago. Jazz was a she was a receptionist at a job employment place and a job active and tough industry. But like jazz is saying, we get to work with vulnerable people. And jazz is you just. Yeah. She's just nailed it. You see people at the lowest but come into your life and. Yeah. And it's interesting. And it's a little bit like my kinship mantra. I've got my own personal mantra of people and listeners know more. You know, kinship code is your code. There's not referees, no umpires, no committee looking in on you. You have a certain code, a kinship code to keep the world ticking, but more importantly, to keep yourself going. My code is it everybody I make, regardless of what how I feel, whether I feel good or excellent.

[00:10:35] But. Ugly, really ugly. I don't care. I'm not going to share that energy with you. I want to make sure my conversation with the other person is an uplifting conversation. And even though I'm feeling bad or ugly or whatever, I'm going to be this impressed on myself to be good, a good person to listen to, to talk to, whatever. So, jazz, can I just ask you, what do you think you can see Cody's off your journey and the kinship Cody balls, by the way. It's not. You learn and you grow. So just the pitch in terms of with ways you pinch. What is your kinship code in this time that we are at today?

[00:11:17] That's a really tough question, to be honest. And there's a lot of so many different things that I would have in mind.

[00:11:26] It's just I don't think there's one particular thing that I could pinpoint, to be honest.

[00:11:31] That's like. Yes. Well, one would ask you another question. What's your what's your favourite tree? What what is a tree that only because I want to use a tree as a metaphor with how we as humans can grow. What's your favourite tree and why?

[00:11:48] The weeping willow tree. The reason I choose that particular train I've always loved it is because even though the name gives you, you know, mostly if you don't know what the weeping willow is, you know. And so I think, oh, maybe it's this really ugly, sad looking train. A corner resonates with me in the same way that people look at trauma or, you know, mental health and that kind of stuff, because it's not really that at all. It's just people who need a simple, nice, simple bit to nurturing and love and that kind of something. The weeping willow is such a gorgeous tree and it can still continues to grow and it still continues to offer beauty to everyone, just like people who have gone through trauma or mental health. So I think that's you know, I've always looked at it because it resonates with me.

[00:12:34] I'm going to do this magic that that is called. I love that I'm getting goose bumps. Now, there's the end because the weeping that, you know, when your kinship code, you've described the true metaphor of a tree and how you you as a person, but also how you treat other people. You don't judge people well, what they look like or where they've come from. And that comes from, I'll be honest, just from my amature prognosis as a kinship coach, that comes from a place of love. And the biggest love, the greatest love of all is love of yourself. Mm hmm. And I love the love you'll you'll metaphore of, you know, the tree like the mother. Just nature and nurture. Nurture. And that's what we did in our jobs. I remember being working with unemployed folks. And they come in, they sit there, you know, one of the most one of the most profound statements. And it came from my love for them because, my goodness, there was some pretty decent people. I actually when I heard someone standing in front with some sort of authority, because if I don't come to us, they don't get paid. Then I answered by don't I don't get to eight. So, yes, we have we come from a place of authority. There were also colleagues of mine. You may have used that authority for their own power base. But you and I, we were looking at giving it as a nurturing and nurturing place. And one of the most profound statements, like I said to people, that actually, I'll be honest, I brought tears to them and I flipped back my tears only because I wanted to sort of capture the moments with them as if I saw them. Where you are at the moment does not define you as a person listening as they heard that it was interesting to see that that the light came on someone. And then you spent 20 minutes, half an hour with this. But someone actually believes in someone actually notices them, someone he's this silence. Someone gives a shit about them, and that just raises the energy and just clean energy. I've got one last question to Jack, because I'm just getting goose bumps as we speak. That I ask you now that this weeping willow tree, I can just picture it in my head, in my vision. I'm saying like it's by a riverbed. It's my vision. Is your weeping willow tree.

[00:15:12] It's always by a creek bed. It's always because it's. It's coming. It's one of those things where you just everyone always pitches it by and drivetrain embossed notes for people. The same question is, where do you see a willow tree? And some people always the only people I've ever met who say it's by a swamp or something or people who I found are really, really sad or really hurt, but those who have who are happy and in a somewhat.

[00:15:35] And they're like, oh, I see it like a creek bed or refund because it's coming or they have something that's peaceful in their life.

[00:15:43] Well, it's interesting, all of this this is a bit of therapeutic yarn. And this is this is my kitchen upbringing with from my cultural background of First Nations Torres Strait man, you Guinean mother. So you can get to someone. So by sharing the spice, they ran into Mother Earth. When I asked you what your kinship cut, you found it difficult to articulate how you feeling, what you talk about a tree. You talk about Mother Earth, where we all come from, Mother Earth. You clearly define what your kinship Covid is clearly. So where a body is always spoken of the mind and someone's gathered some fly words, the muscle timba that start this huge knowest bonfire. Beautiful setting that brought it to you. Cheers. I brought some cheese and crackers and bought some sparkling water with the lawn because I don't want to give up alcohol for a month. So they're sitting there in the sun just setting and you can invite three people to join you. But living past on or someone you don't even know, but someone you wouldn't mind, spent the evening toasting some marshmallows over this lovely fire next to this willyou weeping willow tree by this river.

[00:17:01] Oh, my. A bit. And I've been to Playschool Holmesburg, my door to be equality. for six months. We went to the Finke River. The Finke River had this beautiful river. No water in it. But it's the oldest river in the world. In the world. It's the oldest river in the entire planet is the Finke River. And more weeping Willow. I was by their city. And this it was I had a fall. We went for an evening. Who were the three people? Not Mike. The two. Who were the two? Sorry, I didn't give a nice start and say that. Who were the two people you would invite to sit? Mike? No, sorry. Mike at three were the three people living past or someone from the world?

[00:17:50] I would bring my great. No. Who's passed on.

[00:17:55] She was very much a lady of the land. She loved gardening and that kind of stuff. She's a beautiful lady. My granddad was also passed. He was out. Bushman loved the land as well.

[00:18:10] And my dad. My dad.

[00:18:12] Wow. Wow. So you're Nona and your grandpa and your dad who's who's live living you. Get your. Yes, yes. Yes. What do you think? What would they what would the three put all them together? There's two things when I ask what are the qualities of them? Because you look up to these people, these special people. Yeah. One of the qualities that you just get from them that gets you because believe it or not jezzy your you you've inherited whatever they're giving because they're the three people you've picked in Utah. Well. Well what are some of the qualities I bring to your life that you now live at?

[00:18:52] Well, they they have so many different qualities and strengths is definitely one of them. They've all suffered greatly in many different ways, probably determination and unconditional love.

[00:19:14] Beautiful. Beautiful. Love it. Love it. Strength. Determination, whatever life deals you and you know, you're radiating through just whatever life deals with you. You just get out and you just keep being mobile and nimble and keep moving forward. That strength and that and that determination. That determination. So we live in a kinship way of thinking. Our ancestors, our ancestors. They are around us all the time, whether they're alive or they've passed on. They want the very best for you. And the best way we can honour them either alive or passed on is to live how they would want us to live. Definitely. And that strength now put them all together. What do you think? All three? Your dad is probably up there having his morning tea and your dad who passed on grandparents component. What would I cited in that you think is just where you are today?

[00:20:19] Dr. dieties died before in my twenty twenty two isolation. Then what would I say to you today, combined force?

[00:20:27] What would I say to you when I know my dad constantly tells me? That they're proud and I'm strong. But, you know, I know very much that I'm loved. And then I'm a good person.

[00:20:46] Perfect. Because I think your your dad is a spirit still with us. And your mum and your grandma and grandfather's spirit who have channelled through him to tell you those very things. They're very proud and they love you. And there's a kinship code. I'm encouraged to listen to my ancestors alive and passed differently. And may they speak to you, too. Jasmine and I know they do. Thank you. It's been an absolute pleasure chatting to you. Likewise. And I really do. I'm looking forward to working with you.

[00:21:22] Jasmine and I, we're both working on a foundation called the Venus Foundation in memory of Jodi Marie Johnson, victim of domestic violence. And Jasmine and her young years has jumped on big time. And it's just the images she brings and the lip gloss she brings at such a young age.

[00:21:43] I'm just going to have a pleasure working with you. Jasmine, Bogdana, thank you for taking time out of your Saturday night to have this chat. And I look forward to when the isolation. Well, I think it's relaxed today. Actually, we can. Yeah, we can catch up for a coffee. Anything any last words you want to say before you leave our listeners?

[00:22:04] I just I just hope everyone is able to find a spot or something that they can use to pour water. That's that's one thing that I find is just finding one thing in their life that they can use to start a foundation or something they can grab hold of. Take this. Where are you from?

[00:22:20] You're a champion and I see a career for you in self development. And I think I've mentioned that. And because we need more, we need more. Crusader's in this work because we have a world that tells us want you this COVID-19 has really shifted the shaking. Yeah, because we've just been dancing to a tune. A lot of people have sort of been stepping aside. Hang on. What's going on? I'm really looking you know, I'm in the pot quite probably one of my quite. So we spend a fortune on working out, but it's cheaper to work on the biggest pile of us. It's working in on the person spirit. Your mind body grabbing that and doing all those things.

[00:23:03] So, Jasmine Cruz, I wish my life was kind of Cruz and Jasmine. Thank you so much. And we'll catch up very soon. No problem. Thank you for having me.

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