Oh the perils of being hot and dumb! Wouldn't these two like to know! This week these two virginal nerds take a deep dive and spelunk into a cave of petty vanity. Yeah, yeah, what else is new? But this one tops the cake. Why? Cause it's fun! Wh

Oh Omicron, Oh Omicron

Dec 23rd, 2021 1h 45m

It's the most wonderful time of year, filled with the magic of Christmas, COVID, and cringey Christmas cards. Thank you little Baby Jesus for Santa and alcohol. Distractions are the mother of invention and the duo discuss their holiday plans t

Are We Friends?

Dec 15th, 2021 1h 46m

It's a special episode, folks. The mustache rocking, one-earring wearing, international sex symbol Christopher Waitkus joins the Lady and The Simp as their first guest before his big move to La La Land (that’s code for Los Angeles, you uncultur

Holocaust Charms

Dec 8th, 2021 1h 31m

This week, the debauched duo explore international relations via Lucky Charms, dream catchers, and organic Nutella. Levin considers firing her therapist and continuing her mental health journey with the help of crystals and tea leaves (you know

The Passionate Plunge

Dec 1st, 2021 1h 27m

It's a showdown as old as time, folks: Igor vs. Toilet. Man vs. Plumbing. Who will reign supreme? Jessica goes on her first hike after a night of steadfast binge drinking and smoking enough cigs to smoke out a 5-alarm fire and she also takes a

Phuck Phil

Nov 19th, 2021 1h 18m

The old sports debate: who do you want when there’s 1:30 left and your team is down? Who is the MJ or Tom “Tommy Boy” Brady of the fast food game? Crinkle fries from Nathan's, steak fries from Wendy's, or seasoned fries from Checkers? In this e

Rape Me, My Friend

Nov 11th, 2021 1h 15m

Life is always how you approach it, kinda like prison rape. In this episode, Igor stands up to his hypothetical cellmate “Meat Cleaver” and forces his children to get a job that’ll benefit his bank account. Also, Jessica continues her obsession

Bananas and Ketchup

Nov 3rd, 2021 1h 28m

In this episode we learn that one of our hosts expresses rage in a passive-aggressive manner while the other one expresses it in an aggressive-aggressive manner. Can you guess which one is which? Igor shares profound thoughts on bananas and the

The Pooch and The Puritan

Oct 27th, 2021 1h 35m

The glory of All Hallows’ Eve is upon us folks and our hosts are here dressed for the occasion. The duo is packing heat like a set with Alec Baldwin. Igor discusses his contempt for candy corn and fights with a co-worker over the term "organic.

Growth is Gross

Oct 20th, 2021 1h 14m

ICKY! Growth is so nasty! EWW! This week the duo delve into emotions, beating up Uber drivers, and Igor's "Bad Bitch" playlist on Spotify (seriously, follow that shit). Do not get the man started on Britney, Madonna, Mariah, Selena, and of cour

Don Draper and The Virgin Mary

Oct 13th, 2021 1h 10m

The duo talks kicks, fuck buddies, and Halloween costumes. Jess is starting to get on the vegan/Tinder train and fights for a mural of Brooklyn's own Neil Diamond while Igor explores the nuance of erectile dysfunction and his hero, Don Draper.

Whores for Horror

Oct 6th, 2021 1h 23m

‘Tis the season for horror movies and whore-y costumes. The duo talk films, everything horror, Jessica's life on set, misogynistic terminology, Stephen King, America ripping off international films, and Hitchcock. Also, Igor and Jess beg to get

Basic Instincts

Sep 29th, 2021 1h 13m

Screw milk crate challenges! Bring back shotgunning beers, keg stands, and funneling Jameson and bagel bites. Your favorite clowns share some college binge drinking stories and their love for quaint ass towns filled with old ladies, pottery, an

Fake A$$ Bitche$

Sep 22nd, 2021 1h 11m

Cyndi Lauper's lips are weird and Tim Tebow is a dry hump god: just some of the flavors Igor and Jess are cooking with in this week's episode. Along with dog park drama involving owners with Big Dick Dog Energy and baptisms at the beach. Ashes

If I Ruled The World...Imagine That

Sep 15th, 2021 1h 40m

Jessica's bits are not hitting and of course it's the audience's fault! Spoken like a real pro...amateur. She is also pulling the trigger and getting her very own pooch! Not only to motivate her to get out of bed before 11 AM but also for the j

Ego Trippin' (Part One)

Sep 8th, 2021 1h 13m

It's all about hip hop and ego on this one. Little Nas X knows how to push buttons with naked dudes dancing in prison showers while DaBaby yells some juvenile homophobic heat over a beat at a concert. It's all part of the game of modern day hip

Don't Look Back

Sep 1st, 2021 1h 5m

Igor finds out that Jessica has a dark past; she actually comes from a legion of witches that call themselves (dun dun dunnn) Episcopalians. She grew up in a house divided. Father was a Yankee-loving Catholic and Mother was a Met-loving Episcop

Writing the Bad Out

Aug 25th, 2021 1h 9m

Another installment of talks without filters coming at cha! This one is filled with rusty trombones, Jesus with glory holes, and giving and/or getting facials. Also, Jessica has a bout with agita and Igor has a bout with pronouncing the word ag

Dildos Matter Too

Aug 19th, 2021 1h 21m

This episode is an ode to the beach bum, no shoes, alcoholic tendencies, lack of ambition kind of life. Who needs goals, am I right? Tsunamis are real, climate change sucks, and maybe we should give polar bears ice cream? Igor and Jess get all

Sad Animals

Aug 11th, 2021 1h 21m

Ahh, the magic and joys of Disney theme parks and eating edibles. The duo review what it’s like to vacation with Levin, which entails not showering and starting the day with a nutritious bloody mary, and the moral conundrum of normies hitting t

Grandmas Die. Trauma's Good. Vote for Levin.

Aug 4th, 2021 1h 14m

You heard it here first: Jessica A. Mary Magdalene Levin the First is running for office and Igor is her campaign manager. In this episode, Jess gets bombed and buys an embarrassing self-help book and nearly kills someone at the laundromat. Ang

Pedophiles Anonymous

Jul 21st, 2021 1h 16m

While on mushrooms in Central Park, Igor discovers he is definitely NOT a pedophile (we had our doubts) and Jess recounts a tale with a pedophile neighbor. But it was the 80s, so it was really a "right of passage.” Also, Igor witnesses a possib

Can't Tap Out Now

Jul 7th, 2021 1h 20m

What's a birthday without anxiety, murder fantasies, and shrooms as Igor welcomes his 33rd trip around the sun! Meanwhile, bartenders will miss Levin as she is back on the wagon (Igor still doesn't know what that means) and vows to give up her

This Shit's Chess, It Ain't Checkers

Jun 30th, 2021 1h 11m

Blah! Relationships and feelings can lead to a catharsis that makes one vomit, punch a wall or have water come out of the eye (ahem, cry). It's a heavy one folks so get ready to unleash the fury. The dynamic duo get wicked deep discussing every

Get Rich or Die Ugly

Jun 23rd, 2021 1h 15m

We start with a bang folks! Jess details her bout with pretty people while Igor, Mr. Devil's Advocate, shares his empathetic tools when dealing with the “Pretty Class” and just like young Hamlet, the Lady and The Simp face the hardest question