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no place to escape to. This is the last

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talk. On the left. Side

0:53

stories? That's

0:56

when the cannibalism started. Side

0:59

stories. Oh, yeah!

1:07

Girl from me, Benema, she's out of there.

1:10

Girl from me, Benema,

1:12

she's out of here. In the

1:14

series of odd complaints I

1:17

have received from Marcus Parks in our 13-year association. I'm

1:22

not saying they're always different. Reasonable.

1:28

You've had some issues. You're

1:30

working through it. Mental health is not your fault,

1:32

but it's your responsibility. And you take that responsibility

1:34

seriously. Very serious. But I remember at the time

1:36

you talked about how you had to unplug the

1:38

toilet when you were in a hotel room

1:40

because the toilet was too loud. Because it

1:43

was electronic and its existence was too loud. It

1:46

made beeps and it made noises and it kept

1:48

me up because hotel rooms are as quiet as

1:51

a crypt sometimes. But

1:53

to me that's comforting. I

1:55

use a white noise machine. A lot

1:58

of times I just listen to old stern. Right

2:00

now you just have to go into the background and that's me.

2:02

I just put on something about the Holocaust on my, you know,

2:05

lulz him straight to sleep. As soon

2:08

as he's heard his doc go and

2:10

the trains never stop. He's like,

2:12

he's like so relaxed. What it's

2:14

about is it's about stopping the thoughts in my head about

2:16

what's going on with me. It's like,

2:19

well, look how bad these people are. And fill it

2:21

with thoughts of the Holocaust. Because again, sleepy thoughts. Because

2:23

he always thinks about his favorite thing is to imagine,

2:25

because they jump over the fence. Them

2:28

jumping over the fence into Auschwitz. So they're

2:31

very good. I imagine they should be. Yeah. how

2:35

we got here. That would

2:37

be fucking difficult. Right? It was done

2:39

in that TikTok voice. They jagged out these crimes. You know, they

2:41

put the gold teeth in a pile. You know, I, where was

2:43

it going? My complaints, my complaints. Marcus comes into our brand new

2:45

studio. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say

2:47

that. I'm not going to say that. You know, it's not to

2:49

shallow. Look

3:05

at my face. Look

3:12

at my face. Look at my face. It's

3:14

not standard at all. It's

3:17

utterly standard. There's no way!

3:20

There's no way! There

3:22

is no way! There has never been! There's

3:24

no permit office. It's a toilet link! It's

3:26

a child's... I've never in my life... There's

3:28

no such thing. I wanna know. I'm lookin'

3:30

at stuff like that. I don't even... I've

3:32

been afraid to write in toilet for child

3:34

into this. I guess I can. We haven't

3:36

even intro'd the show. I have never... Welcome

3:39

to Side Stories, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Marcus Parks.

3:41

This is Henry Zabrowski. I've never in my life

3:43

encountered a toilet so small. You were

3:46

watching me Google toilet child size. Alright,

3:49

it says here child's height toilets,

3:51

toilet seats. What size is a

3:53

child's toilet? This

3:55

is not real. No, I'm lookin' at compact toilets.

3:57

Corner toilets. There's plenty of compact toilets out there.

4:00

And what I'm saying is that it's not long

4:02

enough, and I'm not saying it's not long enough

4:04

for me to defecate normally I'm just saying that

4:06

I have to concentrate and put my body in

4:08

such a position Where I don't

4:10

either pee on the seat or shed on

4:13

the seat. I honestly I do feel like

4:15

I raised the back of it This is

4:17

the biting hustle This

4:19

is Joe by man. Let me be clear. There's no

4:21

way I go. What is this some guy? I'm sitting

4:23

on it. Oh, it's just the size of

4:26

a yoga yoga brick. Oh I

4:28

get pissed in this I get shit in this my shit

4:30

range is three feet Honestly,

4:32

I don't know what Joe Biden shit range, but I

4:34

do think it's probably Liquid

4:36

as all hell and also the flushes

4:39

is quite weak on the upstairs,

4:41

so I'm gonna be downstairs I

4:43

think we should designate that is that that's where

4:45

the business that's where business is done in the

4:47

downstairs I guess I'm not gonna tell everybody because

4:49

guess what I shat that up top right

4:51

yeah Hey,

4:54

no problem shat pissed fades Whole

4:58

thing in the toilet because once that water comes back.

5:00

It's clean. That's true. That's what I learned We

5:03

got a couple updates up top number one

5:05

biggest mystery that was on our Chap

5:08

lips last week was talking about the three Chiefs

5:10

fan again going with the Chiefs fan I guess

5:13

now they're keep talking because they won the stupid

5:15

game Right because now they're going to

5:17

the Super Bowl again Right and

5:19

then the Lions game also was a heartbreaking

5:21

game and watch that very sad boring fucking

5:23

Super Bowl go Lions coming back next year

5:25

Yeah, you know it's whatever but uh We

5:29

now we have a couple corrections up top so the three

5:31

men that died Outside of a

5:33

Kansas City home so they were

5:35

now for all intents and purposes

5:37

because the toxicology reports have not

5:39

come back They were they

5:41

froze to death as far as we know and

5:44

we know that you police the Kansas City police

5:46

are Investigating this is just

5:48

a death investigation And you know we've

5:50

been bandying back and forth is it

5:52

mysterious or not and we actually got

5:54

the date Of the game that we

5:56

were thinking of incorrect. Yeah, we assumed

5:59

that it was the previous weekend's

6:01

game in which you know the

6:03

temperature was like 20 below with

6:05

the wind chill but no it

6:07

was actually the game on January

6:10

7th. Chief versus Chargers, another absolutely

6:12

boring game and I'm pretty certain

6:14

maybe they died of boredom because

6:17

I hate the Chargers. Yeah I hate the

6:20

Chargers. Everyone hates it if

6:22

there's no junior Seau there's no reason

6:24

to like the Chargers. I loved him

6:26

in um was he in Moana? Um

6:29

all right now the evening temp that night according

6:31

to Chiefs versus that night on January

6:33

7th that was like the mid-low 30s

6:35

so they again we don't know how

6:37

they froze that standard cancels any winter

6:39

temperatures um and they were locked

6:41

out if they were locked out without their phones keys

6:43

they would have gone to a neighbor's house. Yeah I

6:45

don't know what happened so more

6:47

kind of weird suspicion. Unless they

6:49

were shy. Unless they were shy.

6:52

Death by shyness. Is that

6:54

what COVID was? Now according to

6:56

the family members Facebook posts at the same

6:59

time multiple family members are trying to reach

7:01

Jordan Willis the guy who lived in the

7:03

house via calls texts Facebook messages we talked

7:05

about this a little bit last week but

7:08

on Facebook they could see that Jordan had

7:10

viewed their messages and was not responding. Again

7:12

I don't know what all that means. It's

7:14

suspicious. It's suspicious but the police have not

7:17

filed any charges on this man. They

7:19

are refusing to. They actually have doubled and

7:21

tripled down saying that there are no criminal

7:23

Chargers yet associated with this case. And now

7:26

apparently there was a fifth guy that

7:28

was also there. I mean he left

7:30

around midnight and his story now is that

7:32

when he laughed the four of them uh

7:35

when he left them they were all hanging out watching

7:37

old episodes of Jeopardy. Which

7:39

I've done. Yeah so have I. I've gotten real drunk

7:41

because you know what's nice about it? You

7:43

know all the answers. You're like a fucking genius.

7:45

You know you just zip through you can impress

7:48

all your friends. One guy can act like it

7:50

was today's episode but he knows it was two

7:52

days ago and then he's just like bing bing

7:54

bing and they're like oh yeah Jordan you gotta

7:56

get on the show. I don't know how you're

7:58

not on the show already. And he's

8:00

just like, I don't wanna pull Ken Jennings

8:02

out of the water. It's the only thing

8:04

he's got going. You groundhog

8:07

day it. You groundhog day it. Yeah. Uh, but yeah,

8:09

they did not, uh, that guy, we have no idea

8:11

where that fucking guy is. He barely, he left and

8:13

he just moved away. So we don't know if it

8:15

was because of this or if he was already moving

8:17

away. A lot of pieces missing. No,

8:20

the guy who owned the house moved away. The guy

8:22

who was living at the house moved away. Not the

8:24

fifth guy who was there. That guy just left. Wow.

8:27

Yeah. Jordan complied and let it, he moved out of

8:29

the house. Yeah. The fifth guy was just there. Was

8:31

he a roommate? I think he was just a friend.

8:33

Yeah. They were just still, there's just a lot of

8:35

stuff hasn't coming out. We are waiting for this toxicology

8:37

report. That's how we'll know what actually happened. That's going

8:40

to be the big thing. The toxicology report is going

8:42

to tell us a lot, but I think conclusive. And

8:44

then there's absolutely, we have no idea what it is.

8:46

Then it's just a true, then it's just a true

8:48

mystery. But I think one

8:50

of the real, it very well could be

8:52

that this guy did not answer the messages.

8:55

Just some people just have a very avoidant personality.

8:57

I know that I am, you know, I get

8:59

anxious. I just killed my three friends and I,

9:02

in a slow way, or not even you killed

9:04

your three friends, but just three of your friends

9:06

accidentally froze to death in your backyard, which is

9:08

how does that happen? I don't know how that

9:10

happens when it's not quite freezing, but you know,

9:12

we'll, we'll figure that out. But you

9:14

know, I, I tend

9:17

to lock up when it comes to

9:19

messaging because we spend most of our weeks. Like

9:21

I just, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I talk

9:23

all day long. I'm

9:25

sick of talking. I'm sick of people talking to me.

9:28

I don't want anybody to talk to anybody. So I

9:30

can understand how he gets to a point where I

9:32

don't want to fucking answer any messages, but you also

9:34

like he's not a professional entertainer. No,

9:36

honey. Doesn't have to put out eight to

9:38

nine hours to content a week. And so

9:40

he could answer those messages.

9:43

I feel like he might've been, or hung

9:45

over his balls and he picks it up.

9:47

But if you've got a bunch of guys

9:49

being like, where are your friends? Your three

9:51

friends that you hung out with all night

9:54

last night with, and you're the last person

9:56

to see them alive. Like, what do I

9:58

know about police investigations? number

10:00

one they're coming right for you they're gonna look right

10:02

at you because your last person to solve them alive

10:04

and something like 85% I also some ridiculous

10:07

number I'm making it up but it's something like

10:09

that where the last person who saw them alive

10:12

is more often than I connected to their their

10:14

end of their life yeah I mean it could

10:16

be one thing it could that's like he could

10:18

have just texted back I don't know like all

10:20

you needed to do yeah I just I don't

10:22

know but he could also just have looked at

10:25

his phone and thought I don't want to

10:27

fucking deal with this oh yeah we know nothing

10:29

about these people's personal lives no idea this could

10:31

be some sort of like where there's always drama

10:33

going on with these people especially small town but

10:35

Kansas City's not a small town but everybody if

10:37

you've got a friend group you don't know what's

10:39

going on you know like no who's a pain

10:41

in the ass or like maybe it a beg

10:43

them to leave out

10:47

of my house we're like you're watching

10:50

Jeopardy it's midnight oh this

10:52

on to make you leave and now they're

10:54

there and they're like oh we're gonna rip

10:56

a couple of more butts in the back and

10:58

then you go like you go the fuck outside

11:00

I'm going to sleep who knows yeah

11:02

we're good he's not saying anything publicly yet

11:05

he as far as the the guy that

11:07

owned the house or was now was the

11:09

main tenant of the house who's now gone

11:11

Jordan Willis he's straight up just being like

11:13

he has complied fully yeah but he's like

11:15

that's all I know I was in Dreamland

11:17

no we'll find out maybe

11:20

never but hopefully soon there

11:22

is a couple of other

11:24

great stories this week we got herb bow

11:26

Meister they found a couple of new bodies

11:28

on his property that is a story that

11:30

we're gonna get to at some point that's

11:32

a heavy hitter that we haven't covered or

11:35

bow Meister might have sort of been the

11:37

I-70 killer we don't know

11:39

a murderer of many young and adult

11:42

men he was also do he

11:45

then disappear when he investigation started hardcore

11:47

on his big piece of land that

11:49

became his own personal mortuary where apparently

11:51

he didn't even bury him he just

11:53

left dudes turn into mulch And

11:56

so he went to Canada and then shot himself in the

11:58

head and then he wrote like a three. They'd suicide

12:00

note were with him talking about you know

12:02

every regret he ever did except for being

12:04

Scirocco society I didn't want to kill absolve

12:06

front of a bunch of kids. and then

12:09

he did write that his last meal was

12:11

a peanut butter same well he so that

12:13

I'm really glad the he made to the

12:15

everyone knew that his last meal was peanut

12:17

butter sandwich. no other secrets were rebuilt nuff

12:19

and on it. It's just it's largely got

12:21

because you know they found that least Eleven

12:23

bought if we. They believe that he was

12:26

orchestrated to twenty five. Yeah but he found

12:28

Eleven. While he's a monster, they found. A

12:30

new body They are. There is a nother

12:32

update on the on. This is a story.

12:34

That. I found really interesting. We didn't

12:36

cover it from seer because it's a

12:39

Japanese story. They are like there. There's

12:41

some of these ah events is it

12:43

was hard to read articles like aka

12:45

they're all from Japan and the translate

12:48

was kind of wonky but he the

12:50

guy that set fire to the Kyoto

12:52

Animation studios in Japan was sentenced on.

12:54

I believe it's the harsher sentence that

12:57

they have given. Something. Like

12:59

and like years because they don't execute

13:01

people that often anymore. While for A,

13:03

as for an article I read in

13:05

the B B C is that they

13:07

had Japan Saves. Executions they

13:09

save death sentences for. When

13:11

it announced a new like

13:14

eighty one is that. They

13:17

save up for multiple murders they say

13:19

reverse retailers, serial killers, mass murderers. That's

13:21

who gets the death penalty in Japan.

13:24

and in Japan they own a as

13:26

opposed to here in America we have

13:28

a whole smorgasbord Yeah have all kinds

13:31

of different ways that you can choose

13:33

to be executed by the state. A

13:35

full gap was a meandering and like

13:37

else, freedom on oil. Will

13:40

go up but in Japan where

13:42

they're not free. Big.

13:44

Can only be hung a spring. A maverick?

13:46

er, hang it spawned know. Gotta

13:49

be fun to be hanged. What's it like

13:51

to go to keep? You're going to go

13:53

watch one. that's the old school. Oh yeah

13:55

I did get a lethal injections for and

13:57

on. want to watch schedule and electors hair

13:59

can be tax excited that meeting of you

14:01

go watch one of those but that also

14:03

but most of time it's boring, never smolder.

14:05

Now they got the new nitrogen. The

14:07

way of killing I have been reading

14:09

about the Niger A did you read

14:11

about that the first one done and

14:13

Alabama what happened know did not sound

14:15

Plus what is the what is it

14:18

Do what is nitrogen poisoning? sued if

14:20

I remember correctly. Ah it's a good

14:22

judge and gas execution of yeah I

14:24

know I don't regret. Remember how it

14:26

kills you had been a dog will

14:28

expected according to the B C news.

14:30

he convulsed quite a bit. Yes sir

14:32

I looked like it with looks like

14:34

a very painful death. They say it

14:36

might be because he was trying to

14:38

hold his breath. I'm.

14:40

Fired. Supposedly you just go to believe

14:42

He shook and right on the gurney,

14:44

pulling against restraints for least two minutes.

14:46

Don't worry, begin heavily before breathing heavily

14:48

and ultimately passed away. It's nitrogen hypoxia.

14:51

Yeah, that's internet, so I guess they

14:53

just pump it into a room and

14:55

then you just slowly you'd drown in

14:57

it. Themselves.

15:00

Room and at. What

15:02

are we doing here Why we choose to this extent?

15:04

I don't believe the death penalty at all. Neither do

15:06

I. not. If you're going to be doing I'm a

15:08

I think the soviets had it right The fuck bought

15:10

the below behind the ear as what they did a

15:12

hundred. you could tell if you're gonna do it. Does

15:16

get it.it does get older. They wanted to

15:18

be impersonal and they don't want one person

15:20

a feel the burden of that. No one.

15:22

I think it. Yeah, I think if in

15:24

in America if they truly do want the

15:26

death penalty I think the person who has

15:29

to pull the trigger the judge. The.

15:31

Judge who passes descendants a headphone. It's

15:33

that judged on my cell phone is

15:35

not guy will. Sometimes I get it

15:37

is up to the jury ah to

15:39

pass the sentence year. The jury doesn't

15:42

choose like the death penalty or life

15:44

or whatever if that is truth. Here's

15:46

what we do. Okay so you get

15:48

that Juri? Yes sir sir. Okay and

15:51

you put a bunch and you make

15:53

them reach into a half. and

15:55

they get little pieces of paper as a

15:57

chance and so weren't learning if like that

16:00

ice storm, it's Christina Ricci. So

16:02

one of those 12 people is gonna have to

16:05

be the person who pulls the trigger on this

16:07

person. I think it's gonna make them think twice,

16:09

how about this? Or

16:12

you get one guy that had

16:14

such a good lawyer, somebody from,

16:16

who's already a murderer, who

16:18

had such a good lawyer, right? And then

16:20

is now doing, and they, you know, maybe they

16:22

got off from getting a death penalty. And then

16:24

they're doing really, really well in jail. Like they're,

16:26

you know, top of their class. And

16:28

they wouldn't get in their work in jail

16:30

and they're, you know, maybe they're teaching other

16:33

people how to read or they're doing something

16:35

like that. And you let that guy one

16:37

last chance to kill somebody. And

16:40

give him a shot, you know what I mean? Because then

16:42

legally, sanction. Now you can get it out, right? So you

16:44

don't go fight your bunk guy, right?

16:46

That's nice. That's nice. So you're saying

16:49

it should be a reward for good behavior. Yes.

16:51

You get to perform, you get to shoot someone in

16:53

the head. Legally. And

16:56

you can do whatever you want. You can go like,

16:58

ta ta motherfucker. Like you can say something, you can

17:00

like, you could do your catchphrase. You could do the

17:02

one catchphrase. Maybe you could do the speech and

17:05

you will know my name is

17:08

the Lord. You could do the Pulp Fiction

17:10

thing. That'd be fun as fuck. That'd be

17:12

nice. But I do believe that

17:14

if we have the death penalty here, if people want

17:16

to, if they want to meet out the fucking

17:18

judgment, they need to carry it out themselves. You

17:21

know, I intend to agree because it

17:23

is, because again, I feel like we

17:25

shouldn't be doing it. No. No.

17:29

But if we're going to do it, let's make it fun. The

17:32

Kyoto Animation arson attack though,

17:34

was the worst massacre on

17:36

Japanese soil since World War

17:38

II. 36

17:40

people died. The story is really fucked

17:43

up too. This actually might be, well,

17:45

we've talked a little bit about doing

17:47

fires, but you have always said

17:49

that like, maybe fires are boring or it's just

17:51

tragedy. It's just people just bursting in the flame.

17:53

It's just tragedy. Because I wanted to, if you

17:55

want to do that circus fire. I do. And

17:58

that's just a bunch of kids and clowns dying. And

18:00

I like clowns we have a clown

18:02

so sue me I think that's funny So

18:05

sue me clowns laughing to death. We have

18:07

a clown on payroll now think about a

18:09

clown Well, yeah, think about tears think about

18:11

tears though. I'm In

18:14

a fire of tears though. I

18:16

want here's ode to understand your limits

18:18

to its behavior Alright

18:20

because these clowns coming in cuz imagine it cuz

18:22

like, you know, the Titanic they're

18:25

doing violin as they're going You know these

18:27

clowns are on fire and so like over

18:31

kicking over their hat That's

18:34

a real clown I think would be interesting. All

18:36

right. We just did the episode That's the most

18:38

comedy you can get out of that. It could

18:40

be I think a lot of people think that

18:42

fires are interesting Sexual

18:45

and fun, but this guy but this is not this

18:47

is actually very tragic. Yeah, this is very

18:49

true Jinji, Oba, he was 41 years

18:52

old at the time of the attack He

18:54

basically went into he was convinced that Kyoto

18:56

animation had stolen his ideas. They absolutely did

18:58

not they There was a couple

19:01

of things that were vaguely similar to a script

19:03

He had sent in but they said that they

19:05

he didn't even get past the first round They

19:07

had sent something a long time ago He didn't

19:10

even get past like any sort of like adjudication

19:12

period or there was no editor looking at it

19:14

No one saw enough for him to

19:16

be copied and then he walked in

19:18

a bunch gasoline the lobby of the

19:20

building Just dusted on himself and a

19:22

bunch of people said everybody on fire.

19:24

He somehow lived. Yeah, um, and is

19:26

now Gonna die. Yeah into the

19:29

Japanese government suffered burns to over 90% of his body

19:32

He was only arrested after he recovered from

19:35

all the operations and while he was throwing

19:37

gas everywhere He just kept shouting drop dead

19:39

over and over and over again. Hey, and

19:41

he said during his guilty place better than

19:44

eat at Arby's That's

19:46

what Arby's was ab was askin for us and

19:48

we were like, you know, it was somebody to explain

19:50

each other He later said

19:52

during a guilty plea in September 2023 that

19:54

he didn't think so many people would die

19:56

He said I felt I had no other

19:58

option but to do what I did. No, you

20:00

know what you do? Make it,

20:03

run, put it on the internet.

20:05

You just animate the cartoon. Yeah. Steady

20:07

killing everybody. You just

20:09

make a cartoon. And then it really just shows like

20:12

why'd you get into this sport? Why'd you get into

20:14

the cartoon business if you were just gonna burn a

20:16

bunch of people alive? For some reason I

20:18

got a feeling that he was more of a manga

20:20

guy than an anime guy because this studio did produce

20:22

both manga and anime and I feel like the manga

20:25

guys are a little bit crazier than the anime guys.

20:28

I don't know. Because the manga guys, have

20:30

you ever heard of like the insane deadlines

20:33

that manga dudes are under at

20:35

all times? Oh, I can't even imagine the work

20:37

what they have to put out, the amount of

20:39

output that they have to do. Sometimes it's something

20:41

like 40 pages in a day, like where they

20:43

just it's just over and over and I mean

20:45

it's like they talk about the guys that talk

20:48

about it say that it is the closest to

20:50

hell you can get when it comes to a

20:52

work environment. It's absolutely Sailor Moon. Just

20:54

comic books. What are we doing

20:57

here? For tentacle rape? Yeah, it's absolutely up.

20:59

But for I mean, but for fucking like,

21:01

faster, more tentacles. I want to see

21:04

more cream coming from her fighting vagina. No,

21:07

please. Look at this. Come here.

21:09

Look, look, oh, good. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The beacon

21:11

is octopus. Is it kissable enough? Redraw

21:14

this. But yeah, some

21:16

of these guys like drawing manga, like

21:18

drawing and writing manga is one of

21:20

the most demanding jobs, if not the

21:22

most demanding job in media. It's

21:25

absolutely awful. And these guys lose that they lose their minds

21:27

doing it. I mean, there's the thing I think about that.

21:29

Guess what? When they sleep in, you

21:31

got to be hustling. We need

21:33

to get more of that here. Stop the hustling. I

21:36

don't want the hustling. I hate the hustling. I'm

21:38

hustling. We hustle because we

21:40

had to. It's not supposed

21:42

to be a lifestyle. It's

21:45

not supposed to be something you're proud of. It's

21:47

supposed to be something that you have to do

21:49

for a period of time. It's supposed to end.

21:51

No, no, no. It only ends with the embrace

21:54

of death. It's

21:56

the cold embrace of death. Honestly,

21:58

face this up. So work but

22:01

not when the but I would be so sad because

22:03

the work such a joy. Yeah, I

22:05

really do I know I love what I do. I

22:07

love I absolutely love what we do I absolutely do

22:09

but you know, but you gotta live I don't you

22:11

gotta live and you can't you know We

22:15

just have to make sure that no one comes back here to set

22:17

this place on fire Yes, I mean,

22:19

I think that's a big that goal

22:21

as bosses and as workers here number

22:23

one goal. Don't Let's

22:25

see. I don't inspire calling

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big money at Menards You

23:34

know also loves their work This is a quick little story that

23:36

I want to talk about this is in the category of how

23:38

in the living fuckers is a crime Yeah, the

23:41

fish bandit. Yeah, I love the fish bandit.

23:43

No this is art And

23:45

I don't really understand why he's in

23:47

trouble a team They've

23:50

saying you know people are writing off the zoomers They

23:54

shouldn't his Instagram username was

23:56

fish bandit 84 has

23:58

been arrested in Provo, Utah off or taping

24:01

fish to ATMs and other objects. Now

24:03

this is good fun. This

24:05

is great. This is good fun and I don't really

24:07

know why he was arrested. 17 year old executed these

24:09

bizarre pranks more than a dozen times. That was through

24:11

August and December of last year. This is from the

24:13

USA Today. He did it and I guess he was

24:15

in Salt Lake City all over Salt Lake City which

24:18

makes a lot of fun. But that's a great thing

24:20

is that he lived in Provo and he would drive

24:22

to Salt Lake City. Right! Tape fish on shit. And

24:24

then, well this is why they got mad. That he

24:26

taped a fish to a cop car. Yeah. And they

24:28

got really really mad about it. But it's like man

24:30

that's fun. You got to put him in, you know

24:32

what I would do if I was him? I would

24:34

go and pick him up and be like you know what

24:36

you need to do intern at the Fish and Wildlife Center. We

24:39

put you over here, you can meet some rangers,

24:42

you can meet some fish, you can take fish

24:44

to a fucking tree you're feeding a bear. I

24:46

love him. Let me get his bio states live

24:48

last tape fish on ATMs. It's fun as hell.

24:50

It's just a fish and you could just pull

24:52

it off. It's not even, I'm looking at this,

24:54

it's not even obstructing the screen. You

24:57

can do all of your business around this fish. I

24:59

know, I guess technically there are some people that might

25:02

be mad at the treatment of the fish. But

25:04

fish are fish. I mean fish are there to be

25:06

eaten anyway. I mean the fish is already dead. It's

25:09

fish. Yeah it's a fish. I know that some people

25:11

have emotional connections to their fish but it's not your

25:13

fish. They come to your house and take your fish.

25:15

These are from the ocean. Yeah. Or the grocery store.

25:17

Yeah. Or from the Salt Lake. I don't know. They've

25:20

been taken, there was a one in Frankfurt, Germany. Guatemala

25:23

City, Guatemala and Phoenix. And

25:26

then he put it, and then obviously, which I

25:28

was really very happy about, he went all

25:31

the way to Bass Pro Shop, Memphis, Tennessee

25:34

and he taped one to the wall in the bathroom.

25:36

And that is, again this is art. How

25:38

is this a crime? Why is

25:40

he, I guess it's vandalizing public property? It's

25:42

two charges of property damage stemming from the

25:44

cost of the cleanup. It's a fucking napkin.

25:47

It's a napkin. Eat or eat or eat.

25:49

It's fish residue. They need to embrace him.

25:51

I think that this is one of those

25:53

things where if the police or people understood

25:55

that like, that's who you want

25:58

running your social media man. This is

26:00

great. I mean, that's the fish man. This is

26:02

one of the data. I love it. It's absurdist.

26:04

It's fucking wonderful We're gonna find out that this

26:07

means like some kind of white

26:09

supremacy dog Like as

26:11

this is going inside stores LP o t o

26:13

gmail.com house taping official at m white

26:15

supremacy dog whistles I just need to know

26:17

whether or not we have just broadcast

26:20

his Nefarious message. Yeah across

26:22

the world because as far as I'm concerned

26:24

when I'm looking at this that's

26:27

this fish Yeah, that's making me happy. It's

26:29

but he also would sometimes put cigarettes in

26:31

the fish's mouth. That's fun. It's very salute

26:33

fuck That's awesome You're

26:35

already doing it. Yeah already doing it. Yeah,

26:37

that's the fucking if you go to a

26:39

TGI Fridays Mm-hmm, they used to but now

26:41

no one's allowed to have cigarette imagery Yeah,

26:44

but that used to be the fun part about going

26:46

there You could see a moose with the cigarette you

26:48

can see a squirrel with a cigarette But even the

26:50

like when I look at it I mean I might

26:52

just be bringing what I want to bring this but

26:54

I even think that the Placement of the fish on

26:57

the ATM. Well, I think the placement is artistic. It

26:59

looks good I think it is aesthetically pleasing the way

27:01

that he tapes the fish to the ATM Although it

27:03

might also be that no matter how you tape a

27:05

fish to an ATM. I'm gonna like it I'm gonna

27:07

enjoy it when I'm saying I don't think I think

27:09

it's just about the act itself. Yeah, I'm think it

27:11

is I kind of want to do it myself And

27:15

we get arrested. I guess we can we can

27:17

yeah, we could get arrested. What if I say

27:19

this is about This

27:22

fish is named Greta This

27:26

oh now what you what will you do?

27:28

This is about the environment Okay,

27:30

right sure I mean I definitely appreciate this

27:32

a lot more than the people who throw

27:34

paint on paintings in order to you know

27:36

protest global warming this gets So much more

27:38

positive press if he came out and said

27:40

this is about global warming and like cool

27:42

Yeah, cool Whatever tape because then it turns

27:44

into a worldwide phenomenon of like just a

27:46

bunch of kids tape and fish things They've

27:48

been fish to things. It's wonderful. Just leave

27:50

my car That way

27:52

I will get angry you know what you could tape a fish to

27:55

my car it's gonna be fine You know what it is. It's

27:57

the it's the type of tape Yeah,

28:00

if you just left the fish on my car, I

28:02

wouldn't be mad. Mm-hmm. I might even

28:04

I'd leave it there until I drove off Yeah,

28:09

that would be fun to do yeah, but yeah, it's the

28:12

tape that's bad, but not only fucking ATMs fuck yeah

28:14

fuck That

28:16

is a book so it goes in the

28:18

how this is a crime division We're gonna

28:20

someone's probably gonna tell me how it's a

28:22

crime I mean, it's probably I mean, I'm

28:24

sure that probably the tape does something to

28:26

the touch screens and Oh,

28:29

yeah, it's just residue. I'm sure they can figure

28:31

it out And I think Bank of America can

28:33

fucking afford to replace a little

28:36

touchscreen. It's not even replacing the touchscreen I

28:38

don't think it's usually way to normal the

28:40

drunk people just shit and piss all over

28:42

fucking ATMs Yeah, right. So they're covered enough

28:45

in an absolute film of No

28:48

way Oh fish grease Coming

28:51

up the banking work. No, okay, cuz it's about

28:53

banking I also appreciate how many different types of

28:55

fish are used. I know it does feel like

28:57

in a way It's whatever fish you can get

28:59

a hold of a perch carp catfish. I'm seeing

29:01

all kinds of different kind of trout. Well

29:05

It's a lot of mysteries today. We have one more

29:08

mystery live left a fish on ATMs. Yeah, I

29:10

want you to I want this I

29:12

want this to go across this great nation. We

29:14

have to figure out though. Oh wait a

29:16

properly message what it's even

29:19

with pamphlets But

29:21

now this next video I sent it to Rob

29:25

This fucking weird. Mm-hmm. This is a good one.

29:27

I really really good Yeah,

29:30

this is a TikTok video

29:32

from a username Jehovah underscore

29:34

underscore 101 he caught

29:37

something on a camera We're gonna

29:39

well, obviously we'll toss it up when we do

29:41

the video version of side stories

29:44

You'll see it more but it's like just the

29:46

sound itself as fucking weird as all get

29:48

out Yeah, this like it's really like that's what

29:50

we're playing is cuz the sound of it. It's

29:53

fucking yeah But imagine like, you know,

29:55

we're gonna play the sound of it, but

29:58

imagine two orbs flying in front

30:00

of the camera that don't seem

30:02

to have any sort of reflection.

30:04

Second fucking big floppy boobies.

30:06

That's all I think. Light

30:08

orbs. I wish that was. Light orbs.

30:11

I wish that's what this whole thing was about, dog. And

30:13

then we just showed you a video and we're like, it's

30:15

fucking, it's boob. There's

30:17

light orbs. They're flying very erratically.

30:19

They're weird. It does look sort of

30:21

like, sort of

30:23

like ball lightning. But it's everything that's kind

30:26

of cutting in on it. It's just like, it's

30:28

a good orb video. This

30:31

is a ring doorbell. Picked up this. This

30:33

is weird. This is crazy. Can't

30:35

believe it unless you hear

30:38

it yourself. Check out. This is

30:40

real. This is the actual audio from the video. Now you see. Song

30:49

from Sesame Street is fun. It

30:52

looks just like Poltergos. Yeah, it does. And

30:54

the orbs are like, sort of, they're floating.

30:56

This is not edited. This is not, this

30:59

is what you're hearing and what you're seeing.

31:01

It's actually what was recorded. You

31:05

float up and down. It looks just like the

31:07

effects from Poltergos. It's kind of crazy now. I

31:09

see it. It looks like, do you remember

31:11

when they were leaving when they released the spirits

31:14

and then they were all flying out?

31:16

Because it's like, they're crystalline. They

31:19

are just jumping and jiving all over the place. It's

31:22

very creepy. Yeah, and it seems like they

31:24

come apart and come back to it. Sometimes

31:27

it appears like there's two, then there's three,

31:29

then there's four. They come apart. They

31:32

join each other again. Kind of amazing

31:34

of all sub-dishies materializing. It's a plaity

31:36

and just jerking off in front of the house.

31:38

Okay. I understand what I'm seeing. What

31:41

I'm hearing. See, this guy. That guy's bugging

31:43

me out. He's also creepy. Yeah. That

31:45

guy is also creepy. Yeah. When

31:48

do they get these ring videos? How do they get

31:50

them? Yeah. You have a ring

31:52

video. You just have the thing. Once it

31:54

has motion, once it... How

31:56

do you get ring videos from other people? I think

31:58

it's his ring video. I

32:01

think it's his ring. Yeah, it's creepy

32:03

as fuck. Yeah, and then they just blink out. They

32:05

literally just disappear. But if you were... Yeah, they float

32:07

around and they float around and then it is gone.

32:10

And if you didn't recognize what

32:12

they were saying, they were

32:14

singing a snippet of the

32:16

Sesame Street song. Yeah. Can

32:18

you tell me how to get... And that's it. Yeah,

32:21

it's gonna be in my head. Yeah. The

32:23

rest of the fucking time is my anxiety loop. And

32:25

it's only that. Can you tell me

32:27

how to get... And it's just that over and

32:29

over and over again. It's

32:32

very, very unsettling. Do you have that with anxiety?

32:35

What? We get a chunk of a song or

32:37

a chunk of a thing and it just plays

32:39

over and over and over again in your mind.

32:41

It doesn't give me anxiety, but yeah, I get

32:44

that. Can you tell me how to get... No,

32:46

during the Hatfield McCoy series, just

32:48

the only thing that was in my house. It

32:50

ain't been got no joke. Like that?

32:53

Yeah, it's been... It ain't been got no joke.

32:55

It ain't been got no joke. Oh, yeah. It

32:57

ain't been married long time ago. Where

32:59

did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you

33:01

come from? I'm not joking. But you didn't get

33:03

that, but it was the first line. Yeah. It

33:05

was just that... It was... Yeah,

33:07

because I'd walk around... I would drive Carolina crazy because

33:10

I'd be walking around the house and I'd just go,

33:12

it ain't been... And I know

33:15

this. I know this more. I

33:17

know this way more because there's like, sometimes it's

33:19

like one little thing gets in my head. You'll

33:22

be like... I was doing... I got the other day, it

33:24

was like, I'm mad. In the

33:26

box. I was that one. And

33:29

then also she made me stop. She

33:33

made me stop doing it because I started

33:35

on the Zoloft and I was doing search

33:37

for Lee. So

33:39

it's search for Link to the... Glittering.

33:42

Glittering. And she said for me to stop. Okay.

33:45

Yeah. And Carolina also asked me to stop. It

33:47

ain't been got no... It ain't been got no... It

33:49

ain't been got no... It ain't been got no...

33:51

Oh, God. That's gonna fuck me up for the

33:53

rest of the day. Oh, yeah. But

33:55

the secret is to go and watch the video.

33:58

If you go and watch the video... Then that completes

34:00

the loop you enjoy the video because the video is

34:02

great You know a lot of fun it is you

34:05

get to enjoy that and then you get

34:08

a reprieve for about a day and a half And then I

34:10

don't know where I

34:18

can spread and curse it through talking about Robert the

34:20

doll. No, I'm spreading the fucking rednecks with an ex-curse

34:22

Oh, yeah, you know it is gonna ruin your fucking

34:24

night Okay, so go watch this

34:26

video on your own this is one of those

34:28

it's a very very Very

34:31

quick. Yeah, look at it's called a

34:33

sesame Street orbs. Yes, and again just be

34:36

careful what you Google Yeah, and there's some

34:38

people say like in the comments NASA put

34:40

the sesame Street theme song into space a

34:42

long time ago I'm coming back. I don't

34:44

think I didn't find any evidence of that

34:46

I don't think they did the closest that

34:48

they ever came that NASA ever came to

34:50

sending something from sesame Street out in the

34:52

Space is when they almost put Big Bird

34:54

on the Challenger. Oh my god, that would

34:57

have been wow Did you know

34:59

about this? No, they out there was a

35:01

full plan There was a full leg bird

35:03

fit that was the problem. That's why

35:06

they didn't put them on There was a

35:08

plan to put the person in the big

35:10

in the Big Bird costume on The

35:13

Challenger and send it up in

35:15

the Big Bird costume But to get kids

35:17

interested in space travel like Big Bird's going to space

35:19

that Big Bird go to their school The

35:22

Big Bird does go to school. He already has

35:24

that but then Big Bird can he can reach

35:26

all the children and so I should big bird

35:29

burning alive in the atmosphere They're

35:32

all in the space shuttle looking at Big Bird and

35:34

you the guy and you hear the deep voice of

35:36

the man inside of going like I

35:38

don't think things are going well on this flight I'm

35:41

just being like assume it. I think we're shaking weird

35:45

That's fucking not good. Yeah, there wasn't enough room

35:47

for the puppet and that's why She

35:50

got that's Big Bird got replaced by what

35:52

was her name Sally Ride? No, no, what

35:54

was Sally Ride? What was her name again?

35:56

She was replaced. She replaced.

35:58

She replaced Big Bird I'd

36:01

be mad if I was a scientist that had to go

36:03

in and Krista McAuliffe, so I

36:05

would be pretty pissed yeah, Chris I'm a

36:08

girl bird got bumped and then the scientist

36:10

gets to go the teacher like oh good

36:13

Oh now the scientist gets to go on the

36:15

space shuttle. Yeah, it was supposed to be big

36:17

bird Kind

36:20

of like what would happen what would have happened big

36:22

bird died in the Challenger and Seth MacFarlane

36:25

died in 9-11 I think

36:27

would be very different you think the world

36:29

would be very different I mean, I feel like we get a

36:32

lot more snuffle up against just content

36:34

Yeah, I think they'd be leaning off the big bird. Can

36:36

you imagine that that they would have I mean that's how

36:38

do you explain? That on Sesame Street, I think robot chicken

36:41

would have won an Oscar Something

36:43

nothing would have started robot chickens way if

36:46

there was no system for so you're you're off that

36:48

you don't want to talk About big bird anymore. You

36:50

want to talk about stuff? The Farland dying in 9-11.

36:52

I'm just saying that they're both it's both no Orville

37:07

Vils my compass I Wake

37:10

up every day I'm

37:13

gonna get an Orville tattoo with my asshole

37:15

is the oh It's gonna

37:17

be all I was gonna around the chief

37:20

Erville Go

37:23

to the fucking Asshole store

37:27

to get my stretchers They'd

37:29

see but a big bird died in the

37:31

Challenger. Yeah, I feel like PBS might have

37:33

felt They might have

37:35

cut they might have shut down PBS. They might have said

37:37

yeah, it's too dangerous Yeah, I'd be

37:39

like what are we doing here all these

37:42

five big birds dying? We kill a neck

37:45

What happens next no next thing I

37:47

find out Elmo died in Oklahoma City

37:49

bonding Because

37:52

imagine that what if Oklahoma what

37:54

if he was there another beloved?

37:57

Mr. Rogers was an assassin in World War

37:59

two Well you know about

38:01

that urban legend. That was all that? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

38:03

yeah. False. Completely

38:05

and totally false. Yeah. I

38:08

just can't even imagine. Like how much,

38:10

how much collective trauma would have occurred

38:12

had kids watched Big Bird die? I

38:14

don't know. Especially like if they got

38:16

a lie, because I don't know if

38:19

they had a lie feed in the

38:21

thing. Just watching that fucking

38:23

costume go up, because it could make it have

38:25

burned so much faster because it was just out

38:27

of pure petroleum. Because that's what they would have

38:29

seen. The kids would have seen Big Bird walk

38:31

on. Way, way, way, way, way, way going on.

38:33

And then all of a sudden. And then when

38:35

they find the wreckage and stuff and then you

38:38

just see what's left of Big Bird floating on

38:40

the fucking water and then it's all like, where,

38:42

what dreams can you have after that? Like

38:45

where do you go from there? I really

38:47

do think that like America would be like

38:49

slightly different. Slightly. Like there would just, things

38:51

would be, it would, it would be

38:53

a weird, like that could be some

38:56

sort of weird butterfly effect that we

38:58

couldn't even imagine. You mentioned if Homer

39:00

Simpson died in Hurricane Katrina. Like

39:03

what that would mean? You know, like

39:05

if a man dresses over the

39:08

person, fucking with immediately fucking taking

39:10

in when the levees fell. Or

39:13

he fucking like was one of the people that

39:15

was killed in that hospital? Where they murdered all

39:17

the old people? Yeah, maybe, maybe

39:21

more of them should die in that

39:23

way. Maybe it'll help us

39:25

take things more seriously. If we took

39:28

our beloved icons that make us feel

39:30

good and we put them in a

39:32

bad situation. Kill them. Like

39:34

I feel like maybe we get better gun control or something.

39:36

Like let's say, you

39:38

know, if Grimace was at Parkland,

39:42

right? If Grimace got shot and they had it

39:44

at Parkland, maybe somebody would want to do something.

39:46

Maybe someone would pay attention. Right? Yeah.

39:49

Yeah. Because that's what people really care about. Yeah.

39:53

They don't care about the other adults. They don't care

39:55

about the scientists and the challenger. Nobody

39:57

cares about the pilots and the 9-11. cares

40:00

about them. But if Ronald McDonald had burned alive and

40:02

wake up... What's gonna happen? Where

40:04

are we getting our hamburgers? I go to

40:07

McDonald's every day! You

40:09

know like you'd have to think about shit.

40:11

So maybe we'll think about it. Yeah, maybe

40:13

the government yeah the government would be all

40:15

turned around. Next time you do a um

40:17

a smokescreen event throw

40:20

in Count Chocula. If

40:22

somebody or somebody who gives something they could

40:24

really get some residency going. It means that

40:27

they could really people could really get behind

40:29

and relate to. Yeah. I

40:34

think we're at we got letters? Alex

40:37

Newsom. Listen on

40:39

letters. Listen on

40:42

letters. You listening and you're

40:44

right. Got some great listener

40:46

letters this week. We did. We're gonna

40:48

start with the Brooklyn Hero Cryptid. I

40:50

love this because this is this occurred

40:53

around the area where we used to

40:55

live in Bed-Stuy off of the J's

40:57

after off of the J-Holsey stop. So

40:59

we both used to live in this

41:01

neighborhood. So I know this neighborhood very

41:03

well. I love this fucking story. I'm not

41:06

sure if this really fits the cryptid thing

41:08

but about a year and a half ago

41:10

I was leaving a party in Bed-Stuy and

41:12

something pretty surreal happened. It was about 3

41:14

a.m. ish and I'm walking to the J-Holsey

41:16

stop and a guy starts following me. He

41:18

keeps gaining and eventually he's right on top

41:20

of me. Maybe 10 feet behind and just

41:22

keeping that distance not trying to pass. I've

41:24

done this to people several times. I'm a

41:26

fast walker and I've scared women and I

41:28

didn't mean to. Yeah but you pass them

41:30

by. We all know the guy. We all

41:32

know the feeling of the guy that is

41:35

keeping pace. Well because the problem is that if you

41:37

walk the same speed as somebody it sucks. I don't

41:39

want to be shoulder to shoulder with you. Then

41:42

I have to walk twice as fast to walk faster

41:44

than you. It's like you slow down. If you're

41:46

gonna be fucking slow you don't want to be next

41:48

to me either. You slow down. Why do I have

41:50

to speed up? I always sped

41:52

up. I like passing people. I do too.

41:54

Yeah. Makes me feel like I won. I

41:56

won that interrupt. Yeah that's one of the

41:58

small wins you can. Yeah yeah,

42:01

that's. A

42:03

fact, the story and maybe five feet sex

42:05

With his duties over Six Feet Easy, I'm

42:07

panicking. As a lot of New Yorkers know,

42:09

the city's got a little crazy over the

42:12

last two years to the situation is starting

42:14

to seem real. I feel this guy's hand

42:16

brushing my back and then a hand grabbing

42:18

my hair and pulling me back. This guy's

42:20

literally now pulling me to the ground and

42:22

I'm shouting. But. Like barking at

42:24

him and fear just in voluntarily barking

42:26

down even notes truck and react. Next

42:28

thing I know the pressure of his

42:30

body is entirely. Don't I look up

42:32

in this huge fucking hulk of a

42:35

dude has dragged this guy off me.

42:37

Pick the guy up and slammed him

42:39

on the street. He picks them up

42:41

and slams him again and again and

42:43

then takes him in the Ritz. It's

42:45

the real, but not like certifiable. Intel.

42:47

The big guy looks. At me he's.

42:49

Dressed in some kind of streamline

42:51

tactical gear, it's supposed to like

42:54

what he does. My need to

42:56

focus on need super. You're wearing

42:58

a backwards baseball cap with small

43:00

horns mounted on to I like

43:02

a fucking Urban daredevil. Yeah, I

43:05

stand up. He says you good.

43:07

I. Say yeah, He just kind of

43:09

looks down at the guy. kind of

43:12

ignores me. Outta nowhere, a longboard zoos

43:14

up to m. File

43:16

it is by no on I didn't

43:19

realize until now, but he's holding a

43:21

remote control when I'm. Not

43:23

as an electric Long Long Borders Gotta

43:26

be more instances of this guy. There

43:28

is side stories L P O T

43:30

L A G email.com that is fascinating.

43:32

Let us know if you've seen the

43:34

fuck and long board erode. The fucking

43:36

longboard vigilantes or devil. Man, there was a

43:38

big you know there was a skater superhero back in

43:40

the day. Like. You from comic

43:43

book? Yep and com books I think he

43:45

was. I was like January Night Thrasher? Yes,

43:47

rise them as nice as you. Isn't that

43:49

awful method. Brand. Night.

43:51

Pressure right. Now. The grass. Black.

43:54

thrashers area he was yeah with

43:56

the marvel comics guy first appeared

43:58

and for wow yeah He was

44:00

this he was the skateboarding superhero. So this

44:02

dude is like might be taken He

44:05

might actually be taking inspiration from night

44:07

thrasher. So we got a fucking real

44:09

life night thrasher out there back

44:11

to the story He doesn't say much else just

44:14

stares at the guy on the ground and tells

44:16

him not to try to get up He tells

44:18

me to have a good night and I finally

44:20

take it for what it is. He's telling me

44:22

to go away Yeah, I walk away and he

44:25

just stands there looking around and sometimes looking at

44:27

me to see how far I got I have

44:29

no idea what happened to the guy that attacked

44:31

me, but I can't shake the feeling that it

44:34

was something really bad Yeah, I

44:36

got that fucking shit stomped out. This guy had

44:38

a cold thing about him Anyway, I don't know

44:40

if it fits your cryptic criteria, but there it

44:42

is the most interesting thing that will probably ever

44:45

happen to me That's cool. Fuck. I wonder that's

44:47

real. I hope that I hope that that's real.

44:49

I hope there's more instances Yeah, let it let

44:51

us know. I mean this said this we might

44:54

be breaking something here I mean if there is

44:56

a fucking night thrasher out there that has an

44:58

electric line because those electric long boards cool Yeah,

45:00

they are. I mean, there's like he had to

45:03

set that up. We need a hero man Yeah,

45:05

new hero dog, New York City needs a

45:07

hero I will attest that in the you

45:09

know I moved to LA a year ago

45:11

in the last couple years in the years

45:13

after kovat like New York The

45:15

the danger of New York was wildly

45:17

overblown. Yeah by the the fucking media

45:19

But I will not argue that after

45:21

kovat New York got real fucking weird

45:23

Yeah, it got intense. It's still weird.

45:25

It's still pretty it was still pretty

45:27

intense as of you know a year

45:29

ago when I left Yeah, but yeah,

45:31

if there's a fucking dude walking around

45:33

in tactical or not rolling around in

45:35

tactical gear rescuing people

45:38

incredible Fucking

45:41

bedside vigilante but a lot of times it turns

45:43

out they end up selling drugs like the guy from

45:45

Phoenix But this guy I don't think

45:47

he's doing that. I think this guy's

45:49

out He's out there for the people if anything

45:51

and or if you are the longboard devil man

45:54

Slides stores LP OTL the gmail.com now to hang out

45:56

we we want to hang out with you fucking let

45:58

us know night thrasher Let us

46:00

know. Let us spread your message. Right here comes this.

46:02

This is a good one. I

46:07

just wanted to share an encounter with a being

46:09

that may have been a tall white. I

46:12

work in retail. I sell watches at a

46:14

local department store. So we get a lot of people coming in

46:16

and out. But this one guy, just

46:19

the thought of this guy sends shivers up

46:21

my spine. This one fucking

46:23

guy was absolutely 100% an alien.

46:28

It was yesterday, about 3.30 when this guy showed up.

46:31

I was helping some couples with some watches. Selling

46:34

all the yada yada yada about how

46:36

time works. Very funny. When

46:38

this dude just appeared. I

46:41

don't mean he approached the counter. He

46:44

literally just appeared behind

46:46

them, smiling. He was

46:48

just about 6'4", based off my height, and

46:50

roughly 200 pounds. He

46:52

had a normatively attractive, he was like

46:54

a normal strong angular features, blue eyes,

46:56

blonde hair. I caught

46:59

eye contact and felt unsettled immediately.

47:02

Always be scared of the tall white. I

47:05

greeted him, hey, I'll be with you just

47:07

in a second. And he goes, yes,

47:09

that's fine. I just have

47:11

some questions about watches. Which

47:14

on the surface isn't all that weird. But it kind of

47:16

felt like a TV show where aliens speak, where the tone

47:18

is kind of off. He was very polite

47:20

and generally pleasant, but everything about him was very

47:22

unsettling. The other couple left and

47:24

I engaged the guy. Now I'm usually pretty decent at

47:27

my job, then I could point the customer in the

47:29

right direction and help them land on the right watch

47:31

for their needs. In this dude's presence though, it was

47:33

like my brain wasn't working, except there was an aesthetic

47:36

field of awkwardness around him. Well, he

47:38

just smiled. He wanted

47:40

an aviation watch. Jesus Christ, just now putting it

47:42

together. So he showed him a few different models.

47:45

He didn't buy anything. But during interaction, he

47:47

kept asking questions and digging further than a

47:50

regular customer would. Oh, what

47:52

makes this an aviation watch? Can

47:54

you explain that? How so? I

47:57

know nothing about watches. That's

47:59

very interesting. Thank you. I

48:01

know nothing about watches. I like

48:03

this one very much. Interesting. Thank

48:06

you very much. Can you explain that? I

48:09

know nothing about watches. I'm not

48:11

a pilot. It was a

48:13

struggle. I felt like I was trying to extract something from

48:15

me that was not anything close to what I was selling.

48:18

I was relieved when he finally left. Apparently

48:20

he's done this to one of my coworkers too. I

48:23

told her I had a wheelie wheel customer and

48:25

she asked. It's all white. Wow.

48:27

Wow. I mean, it does sound like it. It

48:29

does sound like a man in black talking,

48:31

but it does also sound like he... It

48:34

could be. Can you

48:36

say the term on the spectrum? I mean, he

48:38

said that term. I don't know. I don't know.

48:40

Just smiling. Thank you. I know nothing about watches.

48:43

I know nothing about watches. I keep saying that

48:45

over and over. Thank you very much. Can you

48:48

explain that? Yeah. I love that, man. I fucking

48:50

really love that. So strange. Who knows? Aliens

48:53

are everywhere. If you believe David Grush. If

48:56

you believe some of these people, non-human. Biologics.

48:58

Everywhere. Is it just ceramics made in

49:01

a spaceship? I don't know. I don't

49:03

know. But according to this other fucking crazy woman I was listening

49:05

to, on

49:08

little chunks of it from the Joe Rogan

49:10

podcast I did because of the guest was

49:13

a woman by the name of... This

49:16

is the woman that wrote the book talking

49:18

about how purgatory they place on

49:20

Earth. Ooh, they make any noise.

49:22

That's where purgatory is a place

49:25

on Earth. ...by Diana

49:27

Walsh Pasulka. She wrote this thing about... I

49:29

guess it's... She then talked about

49:31

its theological nature, but for a while they thought it

49:33

was just in Ireland. Well, there's

49:35

a mythological island off the coast of

49:38

Ireland. But I believe that's where King

49:40

Arthur is from. I think King Arthur

49:42

from there. I thought he was from

49:44

Avalon. Is that the island? I

49:47

thought that was where fucking Marion Williamson

49:49

was from. Avalon, Ohio. No,

49:51

Avalon. It was also a really... Hey, but he's here.

49:53

The Phantom Island appears off the west coast of Ireland.

49:55

I brought him. That'd be seven years.

49:58

I think that's pretty good news. Dude

50:03

is the one that the place only if it's

50:05

this. It's this town that appears of musical. But.

50:07

Is about a town that only peers it would think every

50:09

hundred years. Now. Hi Brazil's

50:11

and. Some. Pregnant. While.

50:15

This of gun or hope and. What

50:18

are your diet A wasp Osaka believes

50:20

that to I'm She believes that she

50:22

was blindfolded and taken to a or

50:24

would they now call with she in

50:26

her terms as not a crash retrieval.

50:28

It's. A donation retrieval. Sites.

50:32

Are. You a phone to is donating what. System.

50:36

Said nothing but question, no answers so

50:38

know because no explanation, no no extrapolate,

50:40

none no details either know it is

50:42

or this idea that you know that

50:44

there may be some for room with

50:46

internet dimensional machine that can be both

50:48

here and someplace else you go in

50:50

at you go into this the glyphs

50:52

A it's A it's a crap for

50:54

you. When you enter it you go

50:57

into their dimension. No.

50:59

Idea of an army and as she said

51:01

she got guys who said that that's real.

51:03

Its Advil so they found pieces of material that

51:06

look like Foxconn. That was no. Need

51:08

for the thing? Come back on drugs.

51:10

can get specifically frogs get violent. Makes

51:14

no sense but yea I got lost and

51:16

sauce on that one understands yeah I get

51:18

it but I've never the only time I've

51:20

listened to Joe Rogan is went into overdrive

51:22

has forced me to do so because for

51:24

some reason in Los Angeles there are other

51:26

my god driver los Angeles to spock and

51:28

do nothing but listen Joe Fuck and rogue

51:30

and while enemy forced to listen to these

51:32

fucking people just go on and on and

51:34

on about not said why listen for my

51:36

you of us years of Mc. Knock as

51:38

well he was famous against you oppose for decades

51:41

or wherever long as soon as I can show

51:43

now is into it now so be ugly Cigarettes

51:45

David Brooks out Scolia bubbles are that was fun

51:47

you know he lets of just gonna run their

51:49

mouth which nice know they like you know you

51:52

know I like crazy stray from the death of

51:54

course crazy stray from substrate vs on but technically

51:56

diana puzzle cause it's like a real the old

51:58

researcher but you might have. The great I

52:00

feel like a like shock relay would crazy in

52:02

a good way you. Know. What you did

52:05

he pierce the veil be a he saw something

52:07

that was also venture capitalists. Yeah, but. I

52:09

you every kind of crazy but like us

52:11

Solomon venture cap both that teaches you how

52:13

to venture capital as any. Also geez you

52:15

that aliens or goblins so I mean would

52:17

you choose one of your choose one avenue

52:19

with him and he i live everyday know

52:21

and that of i'm flirting crypto from jock

52:23

for like. I'm fucked right So

52:25

I gotta love the actually gotten with

52:28

him about how you have those are

52:30

patrols A Super thoughts about how it's

52:32

more a call come from inside the

52:34

house to help us understand that we

52:36

are just a one of the threats

52:39

of an infinite a number of threads.

52:41

but then the tapestry. Reality sounds nice.

52:43

Multiple dimensions. man functions as an infant,

52:45

the matter dog because another dimension I

52:48

got even bigger tits and I do

52:50

right now. said I laugh about it.

52:52

everybody's bladder and me and my. A

52:55

big, voluptuous, crazy. New.

52:57

Credible tests? Yeah, I'd ever. What's common?

52:59

I'm playing with them and and grab

53:01

and on a woman's mushroom together. And

53:03

people like medicaid own he didn't like

53:05

and get pictures with Chef that died

53:07

great. That Henry's right. Yeah, and another

53:09

dimension. We move into the studio where

53:11

I can comfortably shit and the regular

53:13

size toilet I don't. Side stories: opioids,

53:16

urology, email that com who's wrong? Something

53:19

wrong with. I know that there are smaller

53:21

toilets but I use the toilet side. I

53:24

know because you have a bigger buffalo that

53:26

mean you no longer. Asshole. I am six

53:28

inches taller than you. Does it matter

53:30

or buts how much wider are you

53:32

there are? Me on the bottom know

53:34

it's about Tate Linked the I know

53:36

about I'm sizes. I'm taller than you'd

53:38

the distance and of might take my

53:40

taint is gonna be longer than your

53:42

if you are taller. Why is that?

53:44

How so. zero zero you think that

53:46

you have a smaller tape at the same sustained

53:49

as a child were you born part of a

53:51

bad i better it's gotten paid never grew i'd

53:53

never say you're saying your team has never grown

53:55

throughout your entire life i think it's pretty close

53:58

to what it was you think so You think

54:00

it's pretty much the same? I would... Does

54:03

Holler... Okay, yeah. Con... You were a

54:05

plumber, Rob. Yes, it's

54:07

not smaller. It's just... There is a longer

54:09

version. Mm-hmm. But there's just one that is

54:11

a circu... It's more circular than oval. It's

54:13

a round front. It's very small. It's no...

54:16

It's just a different shape. It's the same

54:18

circumference. It's just one is got longer. How

54:20

can you say that the round front is

54:22

the same circumference as the elongated? Ask me...

54:24

Tell me, Rob. If you would

54:26

the circle of a toilet be the same way

54:29

around? Elongated toilets measure up to

54:31

31 inches from the wall behind the toilet to

54:33

the front of the bowl. Round toilet bowls extend

54:35

up to 28 inches. We're talking

54:37

about the bowl in the

54:40

inside of the toilet, not the

54:42

exterior. And if you look at

54:44

the two pictures in comparison, the

54:46

tank is the exact same size.

54:48

That's a visual... ...elucidation. Like

54:51

the arrowheads. So...

54:54

Rob? Rob? Um... One

54:57

is bigger than the other. Yes! I

54:59

just still think that I'm gonna fucking get... One is bigger

55:01

than the other. I'm gonna go up there and I'm gonna

55:03

see how many apples could fit in that toilet. I'm

55:05

gonna pull them out and see how many apples fit in the

55:07

downstairs one. Alright. I

55:10

just feel like height has got nothing to do with taint

55:12

length. I think it's a whole other... We gotta get to

55:14

that. I'm taller than you. I'm wider than you. You

55:17

know what I'm doing for next week? What? I'm

55:19

measuring. Measuring the toilet or me? My

55:21

tank. And I want you

55:23

to measure your tank. I'll

55:26

think about it. I'll

55:28

think about it. Because that's personal. I don't know if I want people to

55:30

know. What are they gonna get from it? It's not that

55:32

you're socials. They're gonna fucking... They can't

55:34

hack your life. Knowing what

55:36

your taint length is. I don't... I'll have to think

55:38

about it. I think you and Carolina can do

55:40

it. Together. I don't think she's gonna

55:42

want it. She'll love it. She's

55:45

got nothing new. What else have you done new

55:47

recently? Oh, so you think we should introduce this

55:49

as a sex game? No, I mean... Measure

55:51

my tank. You haven't seen it. Was

55:54

the last time you were looking at it? My tank? Yeah. A

55:56

while. See? But

55:59

that's the thing. I'm not gonna be... I'm gonna measure it without

56:01

looking at it if I do it. I'm

56:04

not gonna put my fucking... I'm gonna ask family. You're

56:06

gonna ask her to do it for you. Yeah. And

56:09

then immediately text me what she

56:12

says. I will. I

56:14

fucking will. We're

56:16

gonna see the conclusion of this saga very soon. Yeah,

56:18

because I can already tell you, but my wife's answer

56:21

is gonna be, I don't want to

56:23

do that. It's gonna be no. How is she gonna handle when we're

56:25

dying? That's the thing. They're gonna

56:27

have to do a lot of stuff. If you look at the average

56:29

perineum, it's about 1.5 inches for women, or

56:33

for people with vaginas, and those assigned male at birth, the

56:35

average perineum is about 2 inches or more.

56:37

Average. That's average. We'll see. I

56:40

think that... We'll see. We'll see. I don't think it's got anything

56:42

to do with height. I'm just gonna... Biologists,

56:44

you know, human, people who

56:46

specialize in humans, maybe a

56:49

proctologist out there, sidestories, [email protected],

56:52

tell us about different perineum lengths.

56:56

Are canes longer the taller you are? Yes.

57:00

I can tell the answer is yes, and you're lying. No, you're saying

57:02

women have longer... We're gonna get there.

57:04

We're gonna get there. Health

57:07

is... Okay. See you

57:09

next week. This

57:13

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