Today we are going to discuss what to do when you see potential in a new partner but are unsure if they’re going to live up to it.

Our chosen letter this week comes from Chelsea;

Hi Nikki and Cleo,

I’ve been seeing this lad for the past couple years but I’m worried about fully committing. It’s tough because he takes great care of me, we get along really well, and has told me he wants to be monogamous, but there are certain things he does that make me concerned. 

I believe that if we do become monogamous then we would likely settle down together and possibly get married. I would be ok about this if it wasn’t for the fact that he enjoys drinking, a lot, in fact he’ll usually start his day with a beer. And while he is passionate about our relationship and making me happy, there isn’t much going on in his life. He hates his job, says he’s depressed, and hasn’t agreed to do anything about it except trying to drink a little less, which I don’t have a lot of confidence in. 

His issues with depression and drinking weren’t always this bad which is why I grew to love him, but since he graduated university and works at a call center, they’ve gotten much worse. I’ve tried to help him by recommending a therapist and several self-help books, but he’s refused therapy and says he doesn’t have the time to read, which I don’t believe. 

I’m just beginning to get more and more worried about where he is going in life which makes me not want to be around him for a long time, but I love everything he does for me and the effort he puts in to make me happy. 

Thank you for help on this,

Chelsea