0:11

Alright , welcome to

0:14

Episode 4 of

0:16

Midwife Crisis . I'm here

0:18

with my lovely

0:20

, beautiful new framed glasses

0:23

. Co-host , ashley Carroll

0:26

. We are doing

0:29

well , almost , I

0:32

think , to 100 downloads by

0:34

now , which is not that much

0:36

to a lot of people , but good for us

0:38

. If you will follow

0:40

us on Facebook

0:43

at Midwife Crisis , instagram

0:45

at Midwife Crisis podcast

0:47

, and like and

0:49

subscribe and follow and review

0:51

wherever you get your podcasts , we would surely

0:54

appreciate it because every

0:56

little bit helps . Also

0:59

, I have posted a

1:01

link where , if you want to support us

1:03

and help fund our

1:05

little setup here

1:08

and the monthly cost , you can start

1:10

for as little as $3 and we would extend

1:13

our eternal gratitude for that , because

1:15

that's all we can give you right now .

1:17

We're poor . We're poor

1:19

Help us .

1:23

So anyway , Pee Wee Herman died

1:25

today , but this

1:27

is coming out on Thursday .

1:28

I'm not laughing because

1:30

it's funny , I'm just laughing because of Pee Wee Herman .

1:33

Yeah , I mean it was a bit random , but he

1:35

died and that's sad . So

1:38

there you go , he's dead . Hey

1:40

, look at the fly . Yeah

1:42

, I mean sure . So

1:45

last

1:47

week I went to Biluxi

1:50

with Mother and Rivers

1:52

and we

1:55

, you know , as

1:58

much as I love cigarette , smoke

2:00

and casinos , it's just really not

2:02

my favorite time

2:05

. We stayed at the Boer Vodge

2:08

, which I mean I guess is the best of the worst

2:10

, but at

2:13

the same time , like that's like being

2:16

the skinniest kid at Fat Camp , like it's

2:18

just it's not , it's

2:21

not super . Like it's not , it's

2:23

not the best .

2:26

Okay , so this . So you know you walk in there . That

2:29

smell like when you

2:31

walk in there it smells like a casino apartment . No

2:33

, not the cigarette smell Like the , the smell

2:36

of it's like it smells so good , it's like refreshing

2:38

. Okay , no , okay , yes .

2:40

Yes , Because literally I guess so funny

2:42

that you say that because if you go down to the pool

2:45

and the spa level , that's where they're like

2:47

pumping it the most and

2:49

it's called Golden Bamboo from

2:51

Scent . Air

2:54

we're not okay , this

2:56

is not . This is not an ad . It's not a

2:58

paid ad , unfortunately .

3:00

No , John just wants to be able to

3:02

. We have wondered what that was . Okay

3:05

, we want to end .

3:05

Scent Air and it's called

3:08

Golden Bamboo and

3:10

it's the best I want to

3:12

. You can get them to where you pump

3:14

it through your like HVAC system

3:17

, Like you can buy setups for that , but

3:19

it's like 7 or 800 bucks and

3:21

oh , what

3:24

about like a ? Humidifier

3:26

or they make like diffusers

3:28

that you can get from them that are like cheaper

3:31

and I think those like diffuser

3:35

sticks , but I

3:37

mean those are obviously a lot cheaper , but you

3:39

know well , as long as I got the scent , I know

3:41

the same as now .

3:42

That helps a lot , because we have been like we've

3:45

been trying to figure that out for like three years now .

3:48

Oh yeah , no , I made sure to ask . I made

3:50

sure to ask , like two times ago , but

3:52

I just now investigated it , like last night

3:54

when I couldn't sleep and I couldn't find my ambient and

3:57

I wasn't going out to the car to get it , because

3:59

I think it's in the car , but it might

4:01

not Well

4:03

, those are nights , and so I was like I'm

4:06

surely going to get murdered if I go out there .

4:09

I would try out for where I live , so

4:12

, anyway , at the conference

4:14

.

4:14

So it's Biloxi

4:17

and we haven't been able

4:19

to go to the beach this summer , so rivers wanted to

4:21

go to the beach . Well

4:25

, so mother and I

4:27

decide to go eat at

4:29

a place where you can just like walk out onto

4:31

the beach afterwards . And I knew

4:33

that mother wasn't going to be a ton

4:36

of hell , as as

4:38

she sometimes tends

4:40

to do . But I had this

4:43

tent and I had a

4:46

chair , a single chair , and

4:48

I said , well , looks

4:50

like I'm taking all this down

4:52

to the beach , trying to give rivers as much as she

4:54

can hold . Mother

4:56

is just doing her best to get out there . So

5:00

I was like there is no world

5:02

in which this tent is going

5:04

to be 100% popped

5:06

up . There's just it's not , it's

5:09

not gonna happen . So

5:11

I get it about like 80%

5:13

of the way up , can't pop it out all the way

5:15

. Mother is

5:17

laying there in the chair as she does

5:19

, watching me . Yeah

5:21

, well , she's watching me like a hermit crab , but

5:24

if Biloxi had hermit crabs

5:26

anywhere other than the souvenir

5:28

shop . The water was brown

5:30

, quite brackish , all the

5:32

seashells were just gravel

5:36

and rocks and probably from cars

5:38

, and really thought we were going to like lose a

5:40

limb from some sort of bacteria

5:43

, but so far all limbs are good , so that's great

5:46

. So we did that and

5:48

rivers have been telling . Everyone went to the beach and I'm like

5:50

God bless her , just

5:52

let her have it . But while

5:54

we were there , okay . So this new movie , sound of

5:56

Freedom , has come out . I

5:58

don't know anything about it other than it's about

6:00

, like child sex trafficking

6:03

and slavery , which we've talked about several

6:05

times so far . But

6:08

you know it's not comforting when

6:11

literally everyone

6:13

you see is like , oh , you need to keep your , you

6:16

need to keep your eyes on her , you need to watch her

6:18

talking about my own child , as if I'm

6:20

not going to be watching her Because

6:23

she's the type that they'll steal .

6:25

They said it to me , it's like it sounds

6:27

like everybody went to go see that movie and

6:29

then they're like coming up to you and be like yeah

6:32

, that's not comforting , like

6:34

so literally .

6:36

People came up to us on the beach , people came up to us

6:38

at the restaurant , the pool , the

6:40

hotel lobby I mean everyone

6:43

. And rivers is noticeable . I mean she's

6:45

a noticeable child . She's got a

6:48

fun , happy spirit , thank you . But

6:51

when people are constantly coming up

6:53

to you like it happened at least 10

6:55

times and like every

6:57

time mom was with her , they would say it like it's

6:59

it was just add to my anxiety

7:02

. Absolutely

7:04

. And so I went to lunch earlier with a friend

7:06

and she's been worried . She's an

7:08

anxious person too , but she's been worried about

7:10

that and so I told her about that and she's like

7:12

and her kids are both blonde hair and

7:14

blue eyes , like rivers . And I

7:17

was like this is just

7:19

literally the worst thing you can

7:21

say to somebody , like thank you

7:23

, but like don't say it again . And

7:25

she was like , yeah , I would freak out and that's like being in

7:27

Biloxi , being

7:30

in Biloxi which is like , I mean seriously , like from

7:33

. South Mississippi all the way to Florida

7:35

is like number one for

7:37

child trafficking .

7:39

Sorry , you froze .

7:43

Yeah , back to you Ashley

7:45

.

7:47

I said , southern Mississippi

7:49

all the way to Florida is like number one area

7:51

for child trafficking . You know , like taken

7:53

49 all the way down . Like I said in the other episodes

7:56

, but , yeah , they're in

7:58

Biloxi and you're here and all

8:00

this .

8:01

Yeah , this was every white woman

8:03

named like Rebecca

8:05

, karen Marsha . Like

8:08

they all left their Sunday school

8:10

trip to that

8:12

movie just to come to

8:14

Biloxi and tell me about it

8:17

. Not really , but like that's what it felt like

8:19

.

8:19

Right so anyway

8:21

, let's go , warn all the mothers . We're on

8:23

a trip , we're on a mission trip , we're going our mission

8:25

is to ruin everyone's

8:28

time . The

8:30

target population is down here . We're gonna go

8:32

. We're gonna go spread

8:35

awareness . Yes , essentially

8:37

like what they were doing .

8:38

Yes , essentially Thank you , Thank you

8:40

, but no , thank you .

8:41

Yeah , like I don't hear

8:45

it , I'm at work , like

8:47

, just add something else to my plate please

8:49

, yeah , and now I'm not with mother

8:51

, exactly Okay so they were

8:53

just telling you like hey

8:56

like watch a movie

8:58

.

8:58

Yeah , because she's the type I need to go

9:00

see the movie .

9:01

Can you just look inside ? Like

9:05

before , I even knew more about it , what

9:08

I don't know . If you want to see , it ?

9:10

No , I don't think so .

9:12

So I don't understand . Well

9:15

, what I understand is um , I

9:17

think it's the . He's what an FBI

9:19

agent . The guy on the front

9:22

of the poster carrying

9:24

a child .

9:24

Jesus guy yeah .

9:26

Yeah , apparently he saved this

9:30

little boy from being trafficked

9:32

or from whoever this guy was

9:34

. And then his sister

9:36

a little boy's sister was back there too , and

9:39

so he told a little boy like I'm going to get your sister

9:41

out also . Okay

9:43

, and then I think it's

9:45

just like the agent's perspective , like

9:47

his point of view , like what he was doing , what all he

9:49

had to go through . Instead of always

9:51

doing it as like the

9:53

kidnappers . Point

9:55

of view or the child that

9:58

got kidnapped , their point of view . I don't know , that's what

10:00

I was trying to explain it to Candace . I was like so it's kind

10:02

of I think the lost

10:04

girls on Netflix is another is

10:07

talking about that as well Like the two

10:09

stories kind of go hand in hand but they're

10:11

different points of view .

10:13

If that makes sense .

10:14

Yeah , but

10:17

yeah , so , so

10:19

, yeah . So that's a follow up to what we're talking about

10:21

before on our last episode and

10:24

, uh , it's funny because you

10:27

go into Biloxi and hearing all of that and while

10:29

this movie has just came out and it just

10:31

goes with our basically past

10:33

two episodes , it just it's

10:36

all , it's just flowing , it's

10:38

flowing .

10:39

Oh yeah , it's content , content

10:41

, content .

10:42

So it's just everywhere

10:44

. Like seriously , I don't think we even have to do

10:47

or think of content , it's just , it's

10:49

in the world . Today , we can just talk

10:51

about what happens every day . Just get on the news station

10:53

, oh yeah . And

10:56

speaking of that , so have

10:58

you seen all this stuff about Miranda Lambert

11:00

?

11:04

I mean , I saw , I

11:06

know , I don't know if it's your connection or my

11:08

connection , guys , sorry , we're

11:10

just out here making the best of it

11:12

. Uh , I saw

11:14

where she said something . Well

11:19

, you know I was going to have clips this time , but

11:21

may as well not . You know who cares ? Uh

11:24

, so I saw where she

11:26

said something like don't take

11:29

, you pay all this money to come to my concert

11:31

and you're worried about taking selfies , and

11:34

I think I

11:36

could be making that up .

11:39

No , okay , so that's right . Um

11:41

so she

11:43

. She was at a concert and people have all

11:45

this on video . It's been circulating

11:47

Facebook , tiktok , everything

11:50

. She stopped

11:53

her song in the

11:55

middle of singing and she addressed this . These

11:57

group of women that

12:00

were taking they weren't taking selfies

12:02

, they're actually taking pictures

12:04

together by a photographer .

12:07

Mm , hmm .

12:08

Lauren , I can't see .

12:09

I can

12:13

be anyways , I don't know what the problem is Uh

12:17

, this episode is just going to be full of

12:19

fun bloopers .

12:22

I will .

12:22

I'm here .

12:23

Okay , so listen . Okay , so she

12:28

was . She was okay , so she addressed the women in the

12:30

audience . She was like , okay , let's stop right here . She

12:32

was like I'm going to . I just want to address these women out here

12:34

. They're too busy taking selfies and not listening

12:37

to my song .

12:39

Mm , hmm .

12:39

And I saw the picture . So it's

12:42

a group of women and , yes , I think that maybe

12:44

one or two of them are influencers and

12:46

they're all dressed up . They were in a VIP

12:48

section and they

12:50

were getting their picture taken . Yes

12:53

, Like they're . They're very close to the stage and

12:56

um , but they were getting

12:58

. They're just getting a few pictures taken real quick

13:00

and Miranda Lambert's in the background , like they put a gap

13:02

in between them and you

13:05

can see her . Like they're just trying to get a picture , you know , with

13:07

the person performing on stage . Most

13:10

people , everybody does , and , um

13:12

, by a actual photographer

13:14

. So , she

13:16

stops them and tells them to stop taking their

13:18

selfies and that they're bothering other

13:20

people around . And

13:23

I've seen

13:25

where people agreed with her

13:27

and said like hey , yeah

13:29

, it's disturbing to other people that are around

13:31

, but I mean , people are taking

13:33

pictures nonstop . It doesn't matter

13:36

who's taking it . If you're taking a selfie of a photographer

13:38

or you're seeing flashes All day long and

13:40

Miranda Lambert , sorry , you on stage , you got so

13:42

many lights on you you can't see that

13:44

. You're just mad because they're taking

13:46

pictures and not paying attention to you .

13:49

Not only that , but you've got

13:51

people screaming at the top of their lungs

13:54

in your ear . That's just like part of going

13:56

to a concert Like . To me that's way

13:58

more annoying than somebody taking a picture .

14:01

Yeah , I paid you

14:03

. They're not telling how much you're paid , right

14:05

, I'm your boss . So I think I'm

14:09

not siding with Miranda . I think that she's she's

14:12

old news .

14:14

I mean sorry , I hadn't liked her in a long time

14:16

. She's like a habitual

14:19

husband like habitual

14:22

, like that's her go to . Like she don't

14:24

want to date nobody unless they're married

14:26

or about to be married . Like that's her only

14:28

thing .

14:29

It's like she has a type of attraction which

14:31

I've liked . I mean I've gone to her concerts . I've

14:34

liked I mean several of her songs . But

14:36

you know , I agree Lani Wilson

14:38

to play . I'm like , hey , lani

14:40

Wilson , you , I love her

14:42

. But there

14:44

were people that she's very arrogant and got up

14:47

, yes , like

14:49

they got up in the middle of her concert and

14:51

left

14:53

. They're like you don't treat your fans that way , and I completely agree

14:55

100% . And then , meanwhile , I won't listen to

14:57

her ever again .

14:59

Yeah , meanwhile you've got Taylor Swift

15:01

, who I went and saw our Queen Taylor

15:03

, who was

15:05

on the second or third night of

15:07

Nashville . I was on the first night of Nashville . I think

15:09

it was the third night in Nashville . She

15:12

had to postpone because of weather . If

15:14

the lightning strikes within , I

15:16

think it's nine miles

15:18

of the stadium . You have to

15:21

go back another 30 minutes

15:23

, get up . She was delayed three

15:25

hours , kept tweeting and stuff

15:27

to her fans saying I'm still here If y'all

15:29

are still here , didn't go on stage until

15:31

like 11 o'clock , stayed

15:34

and performed in the rain until

15:36

one o'clock and it's just bubbly

15:38

and cheerful like the whole time

15:40

. I've seen videos where she has

15:43

reprimanded security guards

15:45

for being like too rough , with people

15:47

being like they're just trying to have fun . Stop

15:50

so .

15:51

I have patients .

15:52

For people like

15:55

Miranda , when I know how much I paid for

15:58

our Taylor Swift tickets and she's a

16:00

whole lot bigger deal than Miranda Lambert's

16:02

ever been it's just

16:04

arrogance .

16:06

That's what I think is . Or maybe she's trying to

16:08

get back in like

16:11

the tab was , or whatever . She's trying

16:13

to make some kind of . So

16:15

, she to stay relevant exactly

16:17

and . I'm just like uh-uh

16:20

, no , not today .

16:22

She must be too safe right now to be husband

16:24

stealing . So she got to try a different angle

16:26

.

16:27

Well , that's what I was like . I really

16:29

want to say , like , once this episode is pasted

16:31

, I really want to see what other people comment

16:33

, like give your comments on to say , do you think

16:35

that the Miranda was in the wrong

16:38

or do you think that her fans

16:40

were in the wrong ? Because

16:42

we want to hear feedback from y'all as well . Yeah

16:45

, I mean , I said too , I'm just kidding . Yeah

16:50

, like .

16:51

I agree with this .

16:57

No , we're not those type . We

16:59

like good and bad . If you agree , don't

17:02

agree , we don't care . But

17:05

okay , so , speaking of Miranda Lambert , we

17:07

have two topics for you today that I feel like

17:09

, uh , me and Lauren

17:12

have front-row seats too . I'm

17:14

going to talk about divorce

17:17

. Many of you know I am

17:20

divorced , not

17:23

really something that I thought I was going

17:25

to be experiencing at the age

17:27

of 32 , but it happens and

17:30

I'm not saying it was

17:32

either one of our faults . We both

17:35

just were going in different directions

17:37

, we didn't

17:39

have the same goals

17:41

and it just happened

17:43

. But I feel like

17:45

it's happening a lot more these days

17:47

. I mean , every time I turn around

17:50

like somebody's getting a divorce and it's usually

17:52

within the first or second year of marriage

17:54

, and they say the first year is

17:56

the hardest , which it is . But

17:58

I was going to go in

18:00

and I was going to tell I looked at some

18:02

statistics and Mississippi has

18:05

actually ranked ninth

18:07

with the highest number

18:09

of divorces . That's

18:11

surprising .

18:11

I mean it's not .

18:12

We're not number one and

18:15

that's based on population , Like there's still

18:17

a base in it on population and we're still in ninth

18:19

. At

18:23

least we're not number one . I

18:25

mean , we're only number one , but I mean , we're not .

18:27

That's pretty high and

18:30

, like obese people and

18:32

STDs , haunted tax and

18:34

STDs . Yeah , it's like all the bad ones , but

18:37

I mean , divorce is not a good thing either . No

18:40

, but it also can be

18:43

a good thing for

18:46

some people .

18:47

Like .

18:48

I mean it gets a lot of people out of dark

18:50

situations . I

18:53

mean , I think some people just use it as a way

18:55

to break up , but other people use

18:57

it to escape their abusers . So I mean , no , it's

19:00

not great .

19:02

That's why it's not yeah

19:04

and it is . I mean divorce . Nothing

19:06

about divorce is good , but honestly

19:09

, mine is or easy . And

19:12

it's not easy at all .

19:14

It's not even when you want to get out like

19:16

it still sucks .

19:20

It's going Okay . So

19:23

during my divorce , honest

19:25

to God , it

19:27

was one of the darkest times of my life .

19:30

I was depressed .

19:31

I did not feel like I had a purpose , and

19:34

I'm not saying anybody was at fault , it's just how

19:36

I felt like during that

19:38

time of my life . So

19:40

once , once

19:43

we separated , I was like I know that I'm going to need

19:47

to get out . I know that I'm going to need to go see a therapist

19:49

, because I

19:52

don't know if many of y'all know , but a

19:55

divorce is actually one of the most traumatic things

19:57

somebody can go through . That's why , if you

19:59

want to work it out , if y'all are both on board

20:01

with working out , y'all have to be both 100%

20:03

work it out . It is not worth

20:06

it . The worst is not worth it

20:08

.

20:10

I mean it's , there's so many things .

20:14

It's , it's

20:16

. It's a lot to deal with . But you know , I saw , I saw

20:18

a therapist for a year and

20:21

she not only helped

20:24

me I guess , identify

20:27

areas of me that

20:29

needed help , but also areas

20:32

like trying to find a healthy

20:34

partner . And

20:36

she gave me this book and

20:39

I remember reading it and

20:41

you know it's kind of like hey , what is going to give you all these like

20:43

characteristics of a partner , like what do you

20:45

find as like

20:47

, what's a priority to you ? What do you want to look for ? What

20:49

do you want in a marriage ? And once

20:52

you hear that book , I started reading and I was like , you know

20:54

, this opens up a lot more to me

20:56

and I think that I've changed so

20:58

much that I was like what I used to look at

21:00

is so different than what I

21:02

wanted .

21:03

Then oh God

21:05

, anybody who's met John can tell you that

21:07

.

21:08

What do you tell what continue ? We're continuing to grow

21:10

every every day . So

21:13

it's like

21:15

the old me saw

21:18

something different that I wanted than the new

21:20

, like if you're not going in

21:22

the right direction . You know , I was like I want somebody that

21:24

has goals , I want somebody that wants to

21:28

do the things I want to do , to have the same interest

21:30

, and you know , if that changes during your marriage

21:32

sorry , divorce

21:34

is positive , but anyway . So I kept

21:36

praying about it and

21:39

some things that I

21:42

was praying about . I

21:45

don't feel like it

21:48

was really what . It

21:52

was too specific to

21:55

what I wanted

21:57

not what . I needed . So

22:02

I changed my whole way . Yeah

22:05

, it's like I want you know

22:07

, I want my partner to do this . I want my partner

22:09

to do that like please , you know

22:12

, but I mean sometimes

22:15

it worked out , sometimes it didn't , of course

22:17

, but you know , the cycle just still continues . If you

22:20

don't want to improve all together

22:22

, it's still going to continue . So

22:25

I started to

22:28

pray differently . I

22:30

prayed for God to just put me

22:32

in the direction that he wanted me to go in and

22:35

honestly , it was seriously

22:37

. Like he said finally

22:40

, like come on , ashley , and

22:43

seriously , the next couple of days it

22:45

was it's

22:47

like my life just

22:49

like did a complete 360

22:52

. And the only thing I'm happy

22:54

at all happened . It was very , very hard

22:56

, but I'm glad

22:58

it happened . I just wish he would have gave me

23:00

a heads up and said , like whisper to me

23:02

, hold on , yeah

23:06

, because the next buckle up

23:08

, like grab the handle the

23:11

shit , yes , um

23:13

. Like , looking

23:15

back , honestly , if

23:18

I could probably give any

23:20

advice , it

23:23

would be to always

23:25

hang out with people that have the

23:27

same goals as you , like other married couples

23:29

that are positive , like not negatively

23:32

affecting your marriage , because

23:34

that has a lot to do with whether I think people

23:36

say together or not , it's all about who you surround

23:39

yourself with .

23:40

I agree with that . I

23:43

think that I mean , when all

23:46

the girls are all , if all the

23:48

girls you hang out with hate their husbands

23:50

, you're going to start picking out flaws in your husband

23:52

. And if all the guys you're hanging

23:54

out with hate and cheat on their

23:56

wives , you're probably

23:58

going to fall into the same trap . So I mean yeah

24:01

, so I mean , just because it makes it

24:03

easier to do

24:05

those things when somebody else is not necessarily

24:08

encouraging it but not not

24:11

stopping it either , like there's no red

24:13

flag for that . There's like , oh no , this is how we

24:15

live , so go ahead . I think that's

24:17

probably how like swingers and stuff get started too . They start

24:20

hanging out with a friend group and then they kind

24:22

of just fall into it and they're like how

24:25

did we get here ? And then everybody else is like

24:27

yeah , this is what we're doing now because

24:29

I don't like my options . So

24:31

, yeah , I'm going to

24:34

have to say no . I'm

24:37

going to have to say the wives here

24:39

are much better looking than the husbands , and this

24:41

is not going to work for me because

24:43

I know what would happen . I would get

24:45

the fattest , dumpiest

24:48

, stinkiest bald guy every

24:51

time and I would be so

24:53

mad , like

24:55

not that I would ever do like . This is just a complete

24:57

hypothetical situation . I would never swing

25:00

, but that's exactly what would happen

25:02

. Like I'd be . I'd be out here like memorizing

25:04

keys so I could like pick the best one

25:06

because otherwise it would be a

25:09

dumpster fire , or I would

25:11

just make sure I got my own .

25:12

I would stand at the door . I

25:15

would stand at the door and like , look at everybody's case . They walked

25:17

in Like oh , who are you ?

25:22

I wonder if they do it like dirty Santa

25:25

style , where everybody like picks a number to

25:27

see who gets to draw first and so you're walking

25:29

around with the bowl . I wonder if you get to like make

25:31

trades and stuff . No

25:34

, seriously .

25:37

Like who goes first ? I would think

25:39

I would be fighting . I'd be fighting

25:41

. I mean , I don't really get mad if he's still

25:43

my present .

25:45

Me too . I hate to Just think about how far I'm going . Yeah

25:48

, just everybody . I played a fun one .

25:51

I probably stopped playing in my .

25:54

Oh yeah , I played a fun one with

25:56

my girls up here where you bring

25:58

like three

26:01

or five of the same thing

26:03

and then like somehow

26:06

everybody leaves with like multiple

26:09

little presents . It's like your

26:11

favorite things . You buy like five of

26:13

them , but it's not expensive stuff . It would

26:15

be like a lip gloss or like a

26:18

bath bomb or something and

26:21

then everybody leaves with like kind of the same stuff

26:23

instead of just Is

26:25

that a white elephant ? No

26:28

, because it's good stuff . I

26:30

have a white elephant's not Okay , yeah , no

26:33

, that's like gag guess , but like

26:35

good lord , I mean

26:37

just it's probably the cops coming to get my kid

26:39

. She's probably set the front half of the house on fire . Who knows

26:41

, who

26:45

knows ? That's just . You know , sirens , welcome

26:47

to Columbus . Crap

26:50

. What was I saying ? Oh , about the gifts . Like

26:52

, yeah , I always end up with

26:54

something I hate . Like I don't

26:56

change my earrings . I've had

26:58

these in for like a year and a half . I

27:00

don't burn candles because

27:03

I'm a freak and think everything

27:05

is poison . I don't wear scarves

27:07

because I think they make me look fatter . And

27:10

what is the gift that everyone gives

27:12

it ? All these Friggin , sequined

27:15

or bedazzled earrings , a

27:17

candle or something from Bath Body

27:19

Works , which , I'm sorry , you might as well just pour

27:22

cyanide on me instead

27:24

of buying me something from Bath Body Works

27:26

or a friggin

27:28

scarf , and I'm like well , great , I

27:30

have a present for my kid's teacher

27:32

now . So there's that .

27:34

I always bring something that I won't , and then I

27:36

end up taking it .

27:38

No see , I quit doing that when I always

27:40

brought something I wanted and then everybody was like oh

27:42

my God , I want that , I want that

27:44

. And then I ended up with like

27:47

the free bath road that you got

27:49

from , like

27:52

free gift with purchase . Yes

27:54

, and so I was like I quit , I hate

27:56

this game . Or like a bottle of wine

27:58

I don't drink wine . So I mean , like

28:00

you could put a $2 bottle of wine in front

28:02

of me or a $600 bottle of wine

28:04

in front of me , I can't tell the difference . So

28:07

, or whiskey

28:09

, like gross , grow up Like

28:11

I quit .

28:13

I hate this game , I

28:15

hate it , I hate it Just

28:18

you can bring a six pack or a

28:21

I guess it's not six pack as a

28:23

12 pack or 12 pack box of

28:25

trulys and I'll take that all day Having

28:32

true alcohol .

28:34

See , I just want like Baskin

28:37

Robbins gift card or something . Give

28:39

me my scoops , let

28:42

me get my remember the birthday's coming up . It

28:46

is . Thank you for that .

28:50

You and so yours , kate

28:52

, and Brittany Miller's is all coming up . Well , brittany

28:55

McMahon .

28:56

Yes , and Emily Mann and . Claire

28:58

Killon and Lindsay

29:01

Yep lots folks .

29:05

Y'all like all rivers

29:07

. I know this is really my brother . Rivers

29:09

is coming out . This is a very question . Did

29:12

y'all all have to start

29:14

school ? So

29:17

y'all are all the youngest Now . Brittany is

29:19

the oldest . Brittany .

29:20

Miller is the oldest because I think

29:22

they held her back instead

29:24

of pushing her forward , whereas

29:27

the other ones fell

29:29

me and Brittany because of our birthdays . I think

29:31

the cutoff was probably like the 30th

29:34

and hers is the 23rd and mine's the

29:36

24th . So I think the year

29:38

before her parents held her back

29:40

and then my parents

29:43

pushed me up so that I could stay

29:45

in the same grade with all the people

29:47

that I was used to that I went to

29:49

like daycare and stuff with . Because

29:52

, yeah , yeah , I don't know , I was smart

29:54

enough , I guess , so worked

29:57

out .

29:59

I worked out .

30:00

You're smart . I mean Rivers is right there at that cutoff

30:03

too . She's the tent , and people

30:06

were like if you're going to hold her back , now is the time

30:08

, and I was like I think she would set the

30:10

classroom on fire if I held her back , so

30:12

probably she's not going to do that

30:14

. I would just get tutoring honestly

30:17

, because by the third grade they're

30:19

all in end up basically the same

30:21

. So I would I would rather

30:23

get tutoring now than hold her

30:25

back , because she would become a total

30:27

nightmare because she's like me and gets bored

30:29

in class .

30:31

So oh , well then , yeah , yeah .

30:34

Yeah .

30:34

So anyway , back to your divorce .

30:39

Back to your fun divorce , which she is being

30:41

just so kind about

30:44

this and so censored

30:46

and we just love her for that , because

30:49

I am just a terrible

30:51

person and I would have so much bad

30:53

stuff to say even if it was 100%

30:56

my fault , because I'm just the

30:58

worst . But Ashley here , kind

31:01

soul that she is , is just being

31:03

a just ray of light and

31:05

love and happiness and we just applaud

31:07

her for that .

31:10

So well , they

31:12

need our audience needs to know about

31:14

us . So of course , I mean

31:16

it is midwife

31:18

crisis . So I mean I have been through

31:20

divorce . Many of our audience , they've all

31:23

been through divorce as well and

31:25

I want to share my story . And there's

31:28

life after divorce .

31:30

Or they were .

31:30

There's a bright light after divorce , the

31:32

brightest I've ever seen For

31:35

a lot of folks . But um , yeah

31:38

, but another topic

31:41

, which Lauren is . I

31:44

mean , we have friends that know about this

31:46

as well and have experienced it , but Lauren

31:48

has and she is going to tell her experience

31:51

with it and it's infertility

31:53

, yeah

31:55

so we're gonna have

31:57

to get into like a

31:59

really fun episode in

32:02

the next few because we've been super

32:04

heavy lately with like child sex trafficking

32:06

and like divorce and now infertility .

32:08

But you know , just keep it funky

32:11

. It is

32:13

life , I know . I just don't want anybody to be like

32:15

God . This is the most depressing podcast in the world

32:17

. We're also our

32:20

next episode is gonna be lovely

32:22

. Yeah , we're adorable . So

32:25

yeah , I dealt with infertility

32:27

. To backtrack

32:30

, I had problems

32:32

all throughout growing up from probably

32:35

like 14 or so

32:37

on , was put on birth control

32:39

really early , did

32:41

different hormone replacement therapies

32:43

for endometriosis

32:45

and PCOS and

32:48

fibroids

32:50

, cysts and abnormal

32:53

path . I mean just everything and I think

32:55

that a lot of it was like

32:58

trial and error . Honestly had several

33:00

surgeries to excise

33:02

the endometriosis and I

33:04

feel like once

33:06

, looking back , once I got off

33:08

of everything that was hormonal , I felt

33:11

so much better . But

33:14

yet they tell you to be on hormone birth

33:16

control and all this stuff to help you regulate

33:19

. But I feel like at what

33:21

cost ? Like you might be regular

33:24

or not have a period at all , but

33:26

there's so many side effects

33:28

from stopping your body doing

33:30

its natural process and so I dealt

33:34

with that . I also got the

33:36

Gardasil vaccine at the end of high school , in

33:38

the beginning of college

33:41

, and my

33:43

immune system around that time

33:45

kind of shut down

33:48

and I had had Epstein bar , which

33:52

is mono but like

33:54

the virus , I'd had that steam

33:56

bar virus flare up several times and you're only

33:59

supposed to get mono , like I think

34:01

, once or so . But the Epstein bar

34:03

virus can live in your body and so , because I

34:05

have autoimmune problems , mine would flare

34:07

up and I would get like so run

34:10

down . Plus

34:12

, I was abusing my body constantly

34:14

in high school and college , going out , partying , staying

34:18

up , you know , drinking

34:21

recreational drug use . I

34:23

mean , just I was not doing anything to

34:25

help myself

34:27

, for sure , and so

34:29

yeah fast

34:31

forward . I get married and I know that

34:33

it's probably going to be an issue , but I

34:35

didn't know how big of an issue

34:38

and , like , I was upfront about that with

34:40

my husband , and

34:42

so we we would try , and then

34:45

we would stop , and then we would try

34:47

, and then we would stop , because

34:50

it's very daunting to

34:52

have to schedule

34:54

everything and he already had a child , and so going

34:58

into a ready made family is also complicated

35:01

, because you've got your views on what you

35:03

would do

35:05

as a sole parent and they have their

35:07

views on it . So I'm focusing

35:09

on this and I'm focusing on trying

35:12

to get pregnant , and my mind

35:14

was just in a lot of places and it's very stressful , and so the

35:18

proof that he can have kids lives in my house . So I'm you

35:21

put a lot of that like shame and

35:25

guilt on yourself . Right , it's me , I can't have kids

35:27

because I did this . I can't have kids because

35:32

I did that . All these decisions that I made are

35:34

the reason I'm not having kids now . So

35:40

we ended up going to

35:43

a specialist after

35:45

being referred

35:48

several times after various

35:50

like oral medications

35:52

didn't work here and

35:54

I would get like huge cysts on my ovaries

35:57

because it would trigger

36:00

production . So

36:02

we saw a fertility

36:04

specialist and they checked his sperm

36:07

, which was just got glowing

36:09

reviews . I mean , he might as well have been Captain

36:11

America and the sperm department , which I

36:14

knew , and so I was like thanks

36:17

, super

36:21

, so sweet . So my

36:24

doctor blesses heart . He was amazing

36:27

, but he looked like a scared baby

36:29

owl , like you know how sometimes like super

36:31

duper smart people like can't

36:33

just do , like can't , they

36:36

just exist in their brain . And

36:38

he was the nicest , but I

36:40

mean probably the most awkward

36:42

person I've ever met

36:44

, but highly recommend their clinic

36:46

all the time I cried when I had to stop

36:49

seeing them . So

36:51

you everything , by the way , is also out of

36:53

pocket . So some

36:57

statistics for you around 17

36:59

and a half percent of the adult population

37:02

is struggling with

37:04

infertility men and women , that's roughly

37:06

one in six worldwide and

37:10

it shows the need for

37:12

increased access to affordable

37:14

, high quality fertility care

37:17

for those in need , because worldwide

37:20

it's almost exclusively

37:23

an out of pocket experience and

37:25

it's not it's

37:28

, I guess considered elective , so it's

37:30

not funded the way

37:32

that , like say something , life-threatening

37:34

is . But

37:36

they've also found that infertility doesn't discriminate

37:39

. It's not a lower-class problem

37:41

, it's not a middle-class problem , it's

37:43

not a high-income

37:45

problem , it's

37:47

across the board for people and

37:50

despite all these issues , they

37:55

just it's underfunded and

37:57

it's inaccessible to many people

37:59

due to the cost and the social

38:01

stigma and the limited availability because

38:03

these specialists are only available

38:06

. You're not going to find one in a rural town

38:08

, you're going to have to travel to go see one

38:10

. So that's also an issue Preventing

38:14

. I mean that cuts off , I'm

38:16

sure , a lot of people . And

38:19

then you've got adoption , which is a whole other

38:21

animal that costs , you know , very

38:23

high costs too . So the high costs

38:25

, yeah , are preventing people

38:28

from seeking treatment or care

38:30

and it can also put them into poverty

38:32

as a consequence of seeking the care

38:35

for it , because they'll take out loans or

38:37

they'll do a like

38:39

financing situation , like you can literally

38:41

finance your child , which is

38:44

bizarre .

38:45

And it's not guaranteed , but it's not guaranteed to work

38:47

.

38:48

No , it's not guaranteed and you don't get

38:50

any . It's kind of like a sorry

38:52

. So when

38:54

we started , yeah

38:57

we got like a 1% chance

38:59

that we would get pregnant on our own and I was like super

39:02

thank you for those odds . Those are great

39:04

. And so we set

39:07

up . We had the choice . We could either

39:09

do IUI , which is Interuterine

39:11

Insemination , which

39:14

is kind of like what the single gals

39:16

do when they want to have a baby they go pick

39:18

some lovely sperm

39:20

out of a catalog and get

39:22

the doctor to put it in the right place

39:25

at the right time . So

39:27

or we could do IVF , which is

39:29

in vitro fertilization . Well

39:32

, the price difference between those is

39:34

staggering , like

39:37

I'd say roughly what

39:39

, yeah , what is it ? $200

39:41

and a thousand per insemination

39:44

, versus like anywhere

39:47

upwards of like 10 to $15,000

39:50

per cycle of IVF

39:52

, depending on if

39:55

your eggs survive

39:57

. If you are just implanting

40:00

already fertilized egg , there's just so many

40:02

factors after

40:04

your first time , because they might

40:06

harvest like

40:09

20 eggs and then they test

40:11

them and , like certain ones , die off

40:13

throughout the process . Well , they

40:15

might only end up with four

40:17

good eggs from that cycle

40:20

that are usable . Well

40:23

then they'll do genetic testing

40:25

and see which ones have

40:27

the best outcome of

40:29

surviving if they implant you . So

40:32

then they implant you . And they might implant you with

40:34

one , or they might implant you with two . If

40:37

you don't get pregnant , that's two of them out the door

40:39

. So then you only got two

40:41

left to do on a different cycle . So

40:43

if you run out of eggs , you've got

40:45

to do the whole medicine

40:48

retrieval , surgery process

40:50

, implant like all of it

40:52

all over again . So that's where the big bucks

40:54

really start adding up . So

40:56

, mine , what happened

40:59

was they ? I was on a pill

41:01

, a medicine that

41:03

was actually developed for like cancer

41:05

, but in that , how all medicine goes , it ends up being

41:07

used for something else . Yeah

41:09

, they , you know they're like , oh , but a side effect is

41:11

people get pregnant . So I was on this

41:14

medicine . Then they gave me a shot

41:16

to take home and take . I

41:19

think it was exactly 72 hours

41:21

before my appointment , which ended

41:24

up having to take the shot in the middle of the night

41:26

. And I was like Bo

41:28

had to give it to me in the butt , like I was just like

41:30

freaking out over this idea

41:32

of it , like I had to prepare the shot and do it

41:34

and I was like I can't do it . My hands were shaking , I was freaking

41:37

out , I don't know why . I was about to pass

41:39

out , I had to lay down , and so

41:41

we go to the appointment

41:43

. They show you this

41:45

I've told people this story before but they show

41:47

you he goes and he gives his sample

41:50

. And so they take

41:52

the sperm and they spin

41:54

it and they wash it to get like the best

41:56

sperm , and

41:59

so they put it in a tube and they come in and they

42:01

show it to you and they're like they're all happy

42:03

and they're like showing you this tube , and you're

42:05

like , okay , cool , and

42:08

I had no idea the first time that

42:10

I went that they're showing it to you so

42:13

you can approve the name on it . Nobody

42:16

like walked me through that , or if they did

42:18

, I had ADHD and I forgot . So

42:21

I'm just like , oh , thanks for

42:23

the tube of sperm in my face .

42:25

I think I have that .

42:26

I think I have a little change face on the show .

42:28

You were at war , you're a dipstick , you're like yeah .

42:31

You're like okay , cool , thanks , you

42:34

know . So they do that and they run

42:37

a catheter into your uterus . So

42:39

basically , you are getting

42:41

the sperm exactly where it needs

42:44

to be , at exactly the right time

42:46

because your egg is going to be in there , because that

42:48

shot is making you ovulate . So

42:52

you're just praying for the best . Well , that first

42:54

time it didn't work out and , honestly

42:56

, that tube could have said anything , could

42:58

have said anybody . So I'm kind

43:00

of glad it didn't , because if I had come out with

43:02

like a black , asian

43:05

, ginger baby but would have had some questions

43:07

and arguably so would I if that

43:10

had happened , because that would have been very surprising

43:12

, considering , you

43:14

know , it was obviously not have

43:16

been his sperm . So

43:20

that was disappointing that it

43:22

didn't work . But I wasn't too like

43:24

. I wasn't too like

43:28

that . So

43:30

out , I was planning

43:32

a trip to New York and , with

43:34

some work friends , and we

43:37

were going to do the procedure again and we did it

43:39

again and

43:41

I mean I tried everything too , by the way

43:43

, like even like chiropractic

43:46

care , acupuncture

43:49

, chinese or everything

43:52

, and so it

43:54

was right before I went to New

43:56

York and I was feeling

43:58

crampy and stuff , and so I told him I

44:00

was like I don't think it worked . And I had . I

44:02

was scheduled to test the

44:05

day that I can't the day after

44:07

I came back , and so the whole

44:10

time on the trip I just felt like crap

44:12

and I just thought it was because we were

44:14

in New York and it was winter and I didn't really

44:16

know these people . But I was like emotional . I

44:18

was falling asleep everywhere Like

44:21

we'd be in line for something and I'd be falling

44:23

asleep Like we'd be at a Broadway show

44:25

the Rockettes and I'd fall asleep and

44:27

I thought , maybe just because we're

44:29

traveling I don't know , I've always been a sleepy

44:31

gal , but never like this yeah

44:34

, I just could not stay awake . And

44:38

so we get back and I'm just

44:40

mad that I have to take this test , just

44:43

mad in general that I have to take it because

44:45

I'm like I'm just only taking it so I can call

44:47

them and tell them that it's negative

44:49

, so that we can schedule my next appointment just

44:51

ill about it . So

44:53

I take it and I get this faint

44:56

positive line and I was like what does

44:59

that mean ? And I was

45:02

like I don't know what that means . And so I

45:04

text my friend

45:07

Amanda , who had three

45:09

kids or

45:11

two at a time . And

45:13

I was like what's the speed ? And she was like , if there's

45:15

anything on there at all , you're pregnant . I was like

45:17

, but what does that mean ? And she was like well , congratulations

45:20

, you're pregnant . I was like mm-mm-mm-mm-mm . And

45:22

so I was having to go out of town for work and

45:24

I was freaking out , so I didn't tell Bo because

45:26

I didn't want it to be wrong

45:30

or not

45:32

just a false positive but maybe like

45:34

not stick

45:36

all the way and end up being a miscarriage . And

45:39

so I went to the hospital and

45:41

got a blood test and I had to go again

45:45

in three days to make sure the levels were going

45:48

up . And because they're

45:50

like doubling or

45:52

, you know , staying strong , like steady , I

45:54

think they're supposed to double every

45:57

day , or every three days , I would

45:59

know . And so they called

46:02

me while I was out of town . I didn't

46:04

know . I mean , if it's super high , they can

46:06

tell that it's twins by that . But

46:09

they call

46:11

me and tell me and I'm out of town

46:13

, and so I just text Bo the baby

46:15

emoji , because we had joked

46:18

, I had sent him that for some reason before

46:20

. And he ran in the room thinking I was pregnant

46:23

and I was like , oh no , I mean

46:25

I would never text you a baby emoji

46:27

to tell you I was pregnant . And

46:29

so I text him

46:31

the baby emoji and he

46:33

FaceTime and he was like Excuse

46:36

me , what do you mean ? And he was

46:38

on a job in a girls

46:40

middle school bathroom doing

46:43

something with the wiring

46:45

, and so he's on FaceTime and

46:47

I'm crying and he's crying and

46:49

he like ran out and told the janitor

46:51

that I was praying . It was a lot . So

46:57

, yeah , long story short

46:59

. Yeah , that's how I ended

47:01

up pregnant and

47:03

it was terrible and I hate being

47:05

pregnant and it was the worst and I threw

47:07

up every day for like

47:10

12 weeks straight To

47:13

the point where it gave me like a phobia about

47:15

it . And then I was the fat

47:17

person in America .

47:21

You weren't . Yes , I was .

47:23

I was 225 pounds the day

47:25

that I gave birth . My

47:27

ankles were gonna like

47:29

the skin was going to split .

47:31

How much did you gain ? How much did you gain ? They

47:33

say , you're not just getting more than what ?

47:35

30 pounds being pregnant , I gained like

47:37

a good 50 plus pounds

47:39

, for sure , I

47:42

mean , and I could

47:45

not even move as she was two weeks early

47:47

and I was like , if y'all don't take this baby

47:49

, I'm probably going to lose it

47:51

.

47:51

But I also wouldn't let them induce me . She

47:54

was little , she was 714 , 714

47:57

, 19 inches long .

47:59

I was huge . I was 95 , 23

48:02

and a quarter inches long , so I was like

48:04

I drove home smoking a cigarette , while

48:06

she was like this little furry

48:10

black haired baby

48:13

.

48:15

If you'd waited a little bit longer , like if you , if

48:17

they would have waited like the whole next , like two weeks

48:20

on , they grow like a whole pound a week

48:22

.

48:24

So my water broke , yeah which

48:27

another thing is crazy

48:29

is , and I know we're going

48:31

to talk about pregnancy next time , but

48:33

I want to go ahead and say this

48:35

, since we're on it when my I don't

48:37

you're you went we'll

48:39

talk about that next time her whole situation

48:42

with pregnancy was a nightmare . My

48:45

water breaking story . I was in

48:47

the bed . I

48:49

want to know , because I didn't know what like this .

48:53

So what .

48:55

I was . This was roughly two weeks early

48:57

and I'd lost

48:59

my plug and everything which they don't tell

49:01

you about , and that was graphic

49:03

. But I'm sitting

49:05

, I'm in the bed and we've got like those

49:07

hospital style beds that you can like

49:09

sit up .

49:11

I've been in it . I've been in it .

49:13

Not that we even use it anymore . I

49:15

haven't even pregnant , not at all

49:17

, and so , but it was great

49:19

when I was pregnant . It was worth its weight and gold at the

49:21

time . So I'm sitting in there and

49:24

at like 5am

49:26

on Monday morning I start

49:28

having like four minute apart contractions

49:30

constantly

49:32

. So by that night I've

49:35

called the hospital and I go in and they're like

49:37

you're out of four , but

49:40

you're not going to go

49:42

home . So I was like so

49:45

I go to the doctor in the next day and she's like saying

49:47

saying so . Then

49:49

I

49:52

start bleeding Tuesday night

49:54

and it's like fresh blood . So

49:56

I call and my doctor was

49:58

the one on call and it was like at midnight

50:01

she almost acted like a noid that I was calling

50:03

and I was like , hmm , so

50:07

I told Bo . I said I will die

50:09

in this basement giving birth

50:11

to this baby myself before

50:14

I go back to the doctor or the

50:16

hospital for them to act like I'm

50:18

crazy . And he's like , well , that doesn't

50:20

sound great . And

50:23

I was like , yeah , but at this point it's a point of

50:25

pride .

50:26

So at this point , you could have got a midwife

50:28

. You could have got a midwife .

50:30

I mean , I could have , and I could churn my own butter on

50:32

the front porch too , but

50:34

I just got the joke

50:36

. I

50:40

know , I know , oh God

50:42

, she's the smart one

50:44

. Ladies and gentlemen , so

50:47

at this point I had been

50:49

like I'm still , I'm reeling in the trauma

50:51

and you're making jokes , ashley . It's

50:56

like 48 hours at this point

50:58

that I've been in active labor . My

51:01

doctor has no sympathy for me . I'm

51:04

done with her . At this point I've decided

51:06

to go down with the ship and

51:08

so Wednesday

51:11

my work starts , requesting

51:13

all of this stuff and I'm like what

51:16

is actually going on ? Like what is going

51:18

on ? I'm having four minute apart contractions and y'all

51:20

are asking me for more today than

51:22

y'all may have ever asked me for in my

51:24

entire life . I'm just miserable , crying

51:27

off and on , just doing it , whatever . So

51:30

about nine or 10 o'clock

51:32

that night , keep in mind

51:34

, I've been contracting 36

51:38

, 48

51:40

, 72 hours I can't do math like 73

51:42

days worth of contractions

51:44

.

51:45

That are at least every five minutes and

51:48

they're still the same amount apart . Okay , so they're still every five

51:50

minutes .

51:50

They're horrible . And so

51:52

finally I'm sitting there and my

51:54

stomach shoots out into like

51:56

a point and I hear a

51:59

pop , like a balloon pop , and

52:01

I was like oh my

52:04

God , that can't be good . And

52:06

so I stand up and there's like a little trickle

52:08

of water and I was like I've never heard

52:11

of a scenario happening like this , where

52:13

people audibly heard their water

52:15

breaking . It's like rivers , karate

52:18

kicked it and was like I'm done , I'm ready

52:20

to get out of here and I was like , okay . So

52:24

it was like a little trickle at first and I was like , oh my

52:26

God . And so then every

52:28

contraction , it was like a flood

52:30

, like I don't know how there was this much fluid

52:32

in me . And so I run

52:35

to the top of the stairs

52:37

, which our living room that we would

52:39

sit in at that time was in the basement

52:41

. And so I was at the top

52:43

of the stairs and Bo and Brooklyn were in the

52:45

bottom watching TV and I was like thunder

52:48

cats are go because

52:50

that's from Juneau when she , when she

52:53

goes into labor . And so they're like , wait

52:55

what ? And I'm like , yes , it's

52:58

time . And so we call the hospital

53:00

. I tell them my water's broke , so now they can't

53:03

send me home , and I go

53:05

up there and I was like drugs , give me drugs

53:07

, all the drugs now . And my

53:09

birth plan initially had to do

53:11

it without drugs , but I've been in labor for

53:13

three days . At this point I'm not a hero

53:16

. I want all the drugs . And

53:18

so I'll tell the rest

53:20

of that story next time , so

53:23

you were able to get with the

53:26

epidural , so I was still only four , but

53:28

we'll go into that whole birth story , both

53:31

of our birth story on the

53:33

next episode and , guys , we're going

53:35

to wrap it up right here

53:37

. Seems like a good enough spot to lead

53:39

you in to episode five

53:42

, where we will talk about meeting

53:44

our husbands , how they proposed

53:47

, and both of our pregnancies

53:50

One was much more traumatic

53:52

than the other and , spoiler

53:55

alert they both turned out just

53:58

fine , thank God , but yeah

54:00

, so if you enjoyed

54:02

this , please be sure to

54:04

like , subscribe , comment

54:06

, rate , review all the things

54:08

on wherever

54:11

you get your podcast and

54:14

we need your money because

54:16

we're a pooler , but we are

54:19

Midwife Crisis on Facebook

54:21

and at Midwife Crisis podcast

54:23

on Instagram . And

54:25

this was episode four , thanks

54:28

guys .