0:13

Welcome to Episode 5

0:15

of Midwife Crisis

0:18

. I am Lauren and this

0:20

is my lovely co-host

0:22

, ashley . We

0:25

are so happy to have you all back . If

0:27

you would , please go

0:29

follow us on our socials , at

0:32

Midwife Crisis on Facebook

0:34

and Midwife Crisis Podcast

0:37

on Instagram . We are

0:39

also now on YouTube , so

0:42

we would love to hear what y'all have to

0:44

think , like share

0:46

, subscribe , rate , review , anything

0:48

Just to get those numbers

0:50

continuously going up . We appreciate

0:53

all of you who have

0:55

been consistent listeners

0:57

so far Makes

0:59

all the difference . So let's

1:02

get started . I

1:05

went to Oxford this week

1:07

for work and , yeah

1:09

, it went tremendously downhill

1:11

real fast . I

1:14

for my job .

1:15

I didn't even know you were there until you were

1:17

like .

1:18

I'm in Oxford . Yeah , no

1:20

, it went real downhill For

1:22

my job . For those of you who don't know

1:24

, I do graphic design

1:26

and marketing and I work in economic

1:29

development . Well , we had

1:31

a work event that we have every year that

1:33

we're in charge of , and

1:36

so we've had an event at this place

1:38

before . Well , we get there and

1:41

we're plugging in all our stuff , we're going to run it

1:43

and whatnot , to their AV

1:45

system . So it's

1:47

not picking up and I'm like I've used this

1:50

before . I mean all it is is plugging

1:52

in an HDMI cord . I have a Mac , but

1:55

I mean this is 20 , 20 , 30 . So

1:58

it's not working . So I'm getting hot because

2:00

this is I'm responsible

2:03

for this . So

2:05

I tell my co-worker I'm like you got to get the gal , like

2:08

she's got to come in here . She's got to come in here right now . So

2:11

she stumbles and bumbles

2:13

her little way in there no

2:16

sense of urgency from the jump , which I

2:20

ain't here for . So

2:22

she's just fiddling around and I can tell

2:24

she ain't never been on a Mac in her life . And

2:26

so I'm just , I'm my blood pressure and

2:28

everything's just it's getting up , it's getting up

2:30

. She's clicking around , fiddling , farting

2:33

around and I'm just , I'm getting madder

2:35

and madder . And she's like I said if you don't

2:37

know what you're doing , quit

2:39

touching stuff on my computer , just

2:41

quit messing with stuff . And she was like

2:43

well , the problem is that it's

2:45

a Mac . And I was like , no , it's not

2:48

. And she was like , well , yeah , it doesn't know . No

2:50

, it's not . I used this last year , same same

2:52

exact computer . So she kept

2:54

trying to blame me for it . And I was like let

2:57

me stop you right there . I

2:59

feel like I'm about to hurt your feelings , so

3:03

I'm going to need you to get somebody else . I'm going to

3:05

need you to get literally anybody

3:07

else , because the room is filling

3:10

up with people .

3:11

Someone is the same .

3:12

Yes , I mean like do yourself a

3:14

favor and go get someone else . And I'm

3:16

normally pretty level headed and pretty

3:18

nice , but I'm watching

3:21

people pile in and she's just like

3:23

clicking around on my

3:25

computer and I was like mm-mm-mm

3:27

. So this maintenance man

3:29

comes in there If

3:33

he was 70 , if he was a day , and

3:35

they've got this man on a ladder unplugging

3:38

stuff and plugging it back in . So

3:41

I'm just , I'm freaking out because

3:43

at this point I know that the problem is

3:45

somewhere between the wall

3:47

and the projector itself , like there's

3:49

a connection issue in there . So

3:52

then she's going to make the mistake of saying , yeah , well , we've been

3:54

having problems . I said so , you knew this was an issue

3:57

. You knew this was an issue

3:59

before I got here and

4:01

now you're going to say it . So

4:04

two other girls walk in because she's done

4:06

, had to call back up . So

4:08

finally this one girl comes in and she's , she's

4:10

finally making some sense . She's like look , I

4:12

know the other side works . There's a like

4:14

a drop down projector on both sides . And

4:17

she said I know the other side works . We can flip the room

4:19

real quick , which means just putting

4:21

the chairs on the other side of the set . Okay , I

4:23

like a solution . We're good , we

4:25

do it , it connects . But

4:28

I was still hot about that other girl . So

4:31

I mean , I just keep having tech problems after tech

4:33

problems . The people who gave me presentations

4:36

like there would just

4:38

be like little issues . We

4:40

go out that night , go to the restaurant

4:43

and everything , everything's

4:45

fine . But I'm just like feeling some

4:47

type of way .

4:48

You know I'm married to a network manager

4:50

. Oh yeah , I mean just phone

4:52

call .

4:54

Well , I mean , I knew what the problem was . I knew

4:56

that the issue was between the wall and the projector

4:59

, but there's nothing I could do about that , because

5:01

you can't touch it . Yeah , because I can't get

5:03

to the wiring , so there's nothing I could do . So

5:06

then I had not planned on taking

5:08

a shower between Thursday and Friday . I

5:10

had planned on like taking a bath and not washing

5:12

my hair . Well

5:15

, I get in the bath I mean the shower , because

5:17

they don't have a bath around like five o'clock

5:19

in the morning because I couldn't sleep and I

5:21

just wanted to like rot in the bottom of

5:23

the shower for a little while . So

5:26

I do know when I don't have any hair

5:28

products with me or any straightening iron

5:30

with me . I was just going to pray for

5:32

the best . So

5:34

I get in there and it's one of those deals that it's got , like the

5:36

shampoo conditioner body wash

5:39

bottles . They

5:42

were for looks , apparently , because it didn't have not narrow

5:44

shampoo in it , not narrow body

5:46

wash . I was like cool , cool , cool . Cool , cool

5:48

, cool .

5:49

Like lock down , like you can't steal them .

5:51

Yes , they're like the pump kind , and

5:53

so I took a whole shower with conditioner

5:55

, just my hair , my

5:57

body , everything . So

6:00

I'm just , I mean just the things are just adding

6:02

up , adding up . So

6:04

then more

6:07

presentation issues , just bam

6:09

, bam , bam , bam , clicker issues , I

6:11

mean just anything that could go . I would have rather the

6:14

honest to God , I would have rather the projectors

6:16

not work at all and us just

6:18

had to have winged it with just talking

6:21

Right Than I would have with

6:23

everything that went wrong . So

6:26

then , right before we leave , the

6:28

bottom falls out . I'm talking about just

6:31

a flat out flood and

6:34

I'm like super , so

6:37

it's time for me to go . I run outside

6:39

but my shoes start

6:41

slipping . I mean immediately . So

6:44

I'm having to like pick up one

6:46

foot and put it down in front of the next

6:48

one , because my feet are sliding

6:50

within my shoe .

6:53

Finally , get to the car .

6:54

I got you to invest it . Just wait , just wait , we're

6:57

getting there . We're getting there . So

7:00

I get

7:02

to the car with all my stuff , backpack

7:06

, everything , just like in my

7:08

shoe , waddling , and

7:11

I decided I'm about to eat my feelings

7:13

and go to crystals because we ain't got a crystals

7:15

. I get

7:17

around the block and realize

7:19

I left my purse . So

7:21

I got to turn the train , pull

7:24

back up , but I'm like I'm gonna pull up on

7:27

the sidewall . So

7:29

I get out and I've got to waddle

7:33

in in the pouring rain to

7:35

get my purse . Then I'm all

7:38

waddle back out . I'm slipping

7:40

out my shoes the whole way , right

7:43

before I get to my car , fall

7:46

out in a puddle . I was like

7:48

this is wild , like

7:50

I thought about just laying there and dying

7:53

and just giving up , help

7:55

me , help me . Like

7:58

it just was par for the course at that point

8:00

. But I got up , I

8:03

go to crystal . I order

8:05

my sack full of crystals and

8:08

a sprite . I'm

8:10

about to have me a nice time . I

8:12

pull up . We're

8:15

still waiting on some of your crystals . So if you can just

8:17

pull up , and I'm like I hate doing

8:19

that , so I do it . About

8:22

15 minutes goes by . I'm like this

8:25

is wild . I know they forgot about it . I know

8:27

they forgot I go inside . They

8:29

were like oh man

8:31

, we forgot all about you . I was like you're

8:34

getting for free . No , they

8:37

gave me some apple pies and they were real nice . I

8:40

was like she's like you want a milkshake or some

8:42

apple pies . I was like I'll take some apple pies

8:44

, I guess you're already out by milkshake

8:46

. I don't even like milkshakes

8:48

, honestly . I don't like

8:50

drippy stuff , so I didn't

8:53

want to feel any more . But I do like apple pie . So

8:55

I was here for that apple pie . So

8:57

, finally , and so then , suck

9:00

of wet . I ain't got no shoes , got

9:02

these soggy crystals that took me 20

9:04

minutes to get , had

9:07

to get gas , couldn't

9:09

wear my shoes . I was at their barefoot gas

9:12

station . It was a whole

9:14

few days . I was real tired

9:16

of it . Go to Walmart to get Rivers

9:18

Cupcakes for her birthday party . Yeah

9:21

, I'm standing there . All I have to do is

9:23

pick them up . All you have to do is

9:25

hand them to me . I'm

9:28

standing there behind this guy

9:30

who's holding a cake up . There

9:32

is a lady four feet away from

9:34

us . I don't even think

9:36

my headphones are recording . They're going to

9:40

Hold on . There we go . No

9:42

, this woman is not

9:45

four feet away from us , just

9:48

not looking . He's

9:51

standing there with this little cake , just

9:53

waiting , just praying that

9:55

she talks to him . I

9:57

just need a name . So this manager

9:59

walks by . She's like can I help y'all ? And he was like

10:02

yeah , can somebody help us ? The

10:04

lady no lie looks up and goes oh

10:07

, y'all need help . What

10:09

you mean ? What you mean , do we need

10:11

help ? Yes , we need help . We've been standing here at

10:13

least 10 minutes , so

10:15

he has to get his two cakes written

10:18

on . I'm still standing

10:20

there , just getting mad

10:22

, getting mad Because I had to still walk

10:24

into the rain in the little wet busted

10:27

shoes . Finally

10:29

she comes over .

10:30

Where's she ? The only person behind the counter

10:32

.

10:32

There was at least 50 people back there . She was the

10:34

only one in that section , apparently . So

10:37

she finally brings River's cake

10:40

over and I'm like I

10:42

had cupcakes too . She

10:44

goes back there Can't

10:47

find them , can't find them . Finally

10:49

they find them and bring them out and I'm just like this

10:53

is wild .

10:54

Party's over thanks .

10:56

Yeah , party was last week , but thank you . So

10:59

I was just real done

11:01

by Friday night . So when my mom got there

11:03

, she was trying to . I was like I don't have it

11:05

, I don't have it in me . And so

11:07

she was like , but I was like

11:09

, no , no , sis , I'm done

11:12

, we're going to visit . She's

11:15

like . I just got here , I want to visit . I said you're going

11:17

to have to visit tomorrow . I don't know . I mean , I don't know

11:19

. You're lucky that I'm in the living room right now

11:21

, let alone . It's

11:24

just wild . So you know , then Rick

11:26

rolled through and we had the whole bird . Oh , it's just

11:29

wild . My family stays

11:31

. Just , it's just been

11:33

something else . Poor

11:35

dad Blessing .

11:37

I died whenever I came over and visited and he was

11:39

like look

11:42

, y'all are podcasters now . And I was like

11:44

yeah , I guess you could

11:46

call us that .

11:47

Apparently . My whole family's been listening , which really

11:49

trips me out and tickles me , because I did not see

11:52

that . Mom said she asked

11:54

Josh . She said do you enjoy it ? He said not really

11:56

, but I'm a keep listening .

11:59

You know , I would not expect anything

12:01

more from Josh . If he would have said yes , I

12:03

would have known he was lying .

12:05

Well , he said some episodes or some parts of the episode

12:07

are pretty hard to listen to . So apparently he said

12:09

last week when we were talking about like I was

12:11

talking about like drinking and

12:13

doing , he said I said illicit drugs , I

12:15

said recreational drugs , back

12:17

in the back in the days , back in them days

12:20

, steve , back in the days . And

12:22

then when I talked about swinging he was like that's just

12:24

not the conversation for me . I said I didn't say I would do it

12:26

. I said I wouldn't do it for

12:28

this reason . You gotta listen .

12:32

Swinging is a very popular thing

12:34

that goes on these days .

12:35

This is where they live In

12:39

Flowwood . It's everywhere . There's whole neighborhoods

12:41

devoted to it . If you're a real estate agent

12:43

, it's the main . Bam , bam bam . There's

12:45

code words Pineapples

12:48

, all the things .

12:49

Right .

12:49

Dodge door .

12:51

Yeah , shudders , what color shutters on your house

12:54

, you know .

12:55

I didn't know about that one . I

12:59

was like , I mean , I guess it's a good thing that my neighborhood

13:02

.

13:02

You have to actually put in a request if you want to change

13:04

anything on your house and it has to be

13:06

approved .

13:07

So , yeah , that ain't my ministry . I couldn't live

13:09

that lifestyle . I'd be like mind your business . I

13:13

want to paint a mural

13:15

on my front door . That's my business , because you

13:17

don't pay my bills .

13:18

It's only the front of the house . You can do anything

13:20

to your backyard Put in a

13:23

stone a fireplace

13:26

or whatever , or some kind

13:28

of cooking , whatever you want to do , and

13:30

they don't care . But front yard , no , they're

13:33

not having it , they want everything to

13:36

look uniform .

13:37

Oh god .

13:38

Whatever . So yeah , your weekend

13:40

does well . Your

13:42

conference did not sound very fine

13:44

, it's always something . Especially

13:46

having to come home and then go to a birthday party . I remember Oliver's

13:49

birthday party and I'm already stressed

13:51

out anyways . So

13:53

yeah , I couldn't have done that . I would have had to .

13:55

That's why I made it for nine o'clock in the morning , because otherwise

13:57

I'm a monster the whole day . Yeah

13:59

, they're just a whole day . My

14:01

ADHD works like I

14:03

get paralyzed by like

14:06

dates and times , like if I know I've got something

14:08

at six o'clock , I like can't do anything the whole

14:10

day in anticipation of it . I'm

14:12

thinking , I'm going to be like yeah . So

14:15

doing it in the morning was like the best thing I could have done

14:17

, yeah .

14:18

For sure . I agree .

14:20

So now that we're you know 15 minutes in

14:22

and I talked about nothing but me what you want

14:25

to talk about today .

14:26

Okay , so you know , I like to bring

14:28

up stuff in the news and and

14:30

you know , I don't know nothing about . Facebook

14:32

and stuff , so okay . So Jason , I'll be in his

14:35

new song . It's um , like

14:38

that won't happen in a small town or something

14:40

. It's the title of it and what he's

14:42

talking about is basically we have each other's backs

14:44

and you know we're all about community and we're

14:46

not going to start a riot . And

14:49

you know all these things that have happened in these big cities

14:51

and they're disrespected police officers and

14:53

et cetera , et cetera , stuff like that . Um

14:56

, I was 100% for it and

14:58

I still am .

14:59

But now I mean

15:02

, we're both from Reagan County and

15:04

you've seen all the stuff in the news about these deputies

15:07

, and Most everything

15:09

that I know about it is because

15:11

of y'all from group texts , cause , like

15:14

you know me , if I'm

15:16

going to get news , it's going to be from somebody talking about

15:18

it or from Facebook . Like I ain't watching the

15:20

news , I'm not doing anything , and everything I know

15:22

about Jason Aldean has been against my

15:24

will , so you're

15:26

going to have to brush us up .

15:28

Okay , well , the song , the song's still great

15:30

, it's still supported 100% . But it's

15:32

like hey , I support it because I'm from a small town and

15:34

, yeah , we do have each other's backs , we do

15:36

respect the police officers

15:39

because we know they're going to have our backs as

15:41

well . Well , I mean actually now

15:43

, it's just , it

15:46

ain't even that , unless you , unless you in the ranking

15:48

County jail right . I'm like , um

15:50

, it's like completely

15:52

flopped , Like no

15:54

, we can't trust the police in

15:58

ranking County . I

16:00

wouldn't call them for nothing at this point . And

16:02

you read did you read what

16:05

all ?

16:05

the um . I

16:08

only read what y'all said . So just

16:10

tell the people , act like you're telling

16:12

me , just like somebody who's listening , who's not

16:15

from anywhere and wouldn't know because

16:17

that's most .

16:18

I'm just going to give a summary . I'll just

16:21

give a summary of it . Okay , so there were six um

16:23

ranking County deputies . They

16:25

all work in different areas like narcotics

16:27

, um investigation

16:30

. You know different departments . Anyways , they're sick

16:32

and all and they

16:34

uh , they

16:38

actually refer to themselves

16:40

as the goon squad

16:42

.

16:43

Cool , cool , cool . Of course , I

16:46

saw they all looked like a , like a copy paste

16:48

version of each other in a different font

16:51

. They all looked exactly like

16:53

what you would think a backwoods

16:56

mud flap

16:58

. I guarantee you they all

17:00

drove a truck . I

17:02

guarantee you they all go to hunt , and can't

17:04

they ? They look exactly like what I thought they

17:06

would look like .

17:08

Like just , they're just like disgusting

17:10

to me .

17:11

Yeah , but messy .

17:13

Like you have nothing else better to do

17:16

.

17:17

Peaked in high school . So they had to become a cop

17:19

, like not because they wanted

17:21

to , but because they couldn't do anything else and they're too

17:24

fat to be in the military .

17:26

And they thought that it would give them power , like , oh , I'll

17:28

just be a police officer and I

17:30

can do whatever I want to , exactly so I'm sorry .

17:34

I sniffed like 72 times

17:36

and just kill me . So whatever Cool , all right . So they call

17:38

themselves the goon squad .

17:40

So clearly they've been doing this for I don't

17:42

know how long , but they already got a name and

17:45

they got code words as well also . So

17:50

they go to this house in in Braxton

17:52

, mississippi , and

17:55

apparently they got a neighbor of this

17:58

, a neighbor of this , a neighbor of this , a neighbor of this house

18:01

called and reported that there were

18:03

two African-Americans staying there and

18:05

a white owner owns it and she thinks

18:07

that there's drugs in the house . So

18:10

they call it in or he goes to

18:12

investigate and he calls his goon squad

18:14

to back him up , turn the cameras off . They're

18:17

using code words and

18:21

so they arrive and the things that they do to these

18:23

men . I

18:25

question everything

18:27

about the Ranking County deputy

18:30

, like the department . I'm

18:35

like so disgusted , like what

18:37

kind of man does that ? And

18:40

I'm just saying , cause we're women , okay , just say if it was our

18:42

husband .

18:43

Right , We'll just say they sexually

18:45

assaulted them . We don't we can't go into like

18:47

too much cause they'll flag us , but

18:50

they were assaulted

18:52

.

18:52

They were assaulted Physically , sexually

18:55

.

18:55

Yeah .

18:57

And then to where one ended up

19:00

in the hospital because a

19:03

gun went off in his mouth .

19:04

So oh

19:07

, I didn't know that , yeah .

19:08

It's every bit of the

19:11

worst thing you could do , just like the worst

19:13

thing you could imagine . And it went on for two hours

19:15

. So then they , you

19:18

know , then they back each other up making

19:20

all these false claims and stuff like that

19:22

, you know , trying to cover the tracks . So

19:25

I really I'm just , if that

19:27

was my husband , I was

19:30

thinking how , like , who have I been married

19:32

to ?

19:32

Oh yeah .

19:34

And how do these men act in the house ? I

19:37

mean , are they acting the same way ? Are they living

19:39

double lives ?

19:40

Yeah , I told Jolla Any

19:42

type of sexual assault I'm

19:45

out Like I don't care who it's on , I

19:47

don't care what it is , I'm

19:49

out .

19:51

You really have a sick mind . So what else

19:54

are you doing ? Yeah

19:56

, I'm out . I would be like sickened , I don't know . I'm

20:00

just the whole thing itself like all these and all these wives . I think

20:02

the majority of them are married , but I

20:05

would question everything .

20:08

I mean the kids would be gone immediately .

20:11

I would be questioning everything that ever happened and

20:13

my next steps , because I was like if I trusted

20:16

you and you did all of this and I had no idea about it . You

20:18

can't do that . You came home just acting like

20:20

you were fine and everything

20:22

was going good . I

20:24

would be like you have a poor sense of judgment . I

20:28

would question everything further on out . I

20:31

seriously cannot believe it . So yeah . So I

20:33

was just talking about that song about Jason

20:35

Aldean . I was like I love this song . I was like , yeah , we're

20:37

from a small town , Our police

20:39

officers were great , They'll be there for you in a minute

20:42

. And then this stuff blows up

20:44

. It's gonna be a lifetime movie , you

20:46

already know that . Oh

20:49

yeah , or

20:51

it's part of me on 2020 next week .

20:55

Date line Date line . I just want a podcast

20:57

on it .

20:59

Exactly . I would listen to it

21:01

. But

21:03

anyways , I just want to talk about that , and

21:06

it's just , I

21:08

seriously was shocked at

21:10

what all . I read .

21:13

But anyway , I never would have expected that

21:15

so , especially in Brandon .

21:18

So that's why I was actually . That was just a little topic that I was going to bring

21:20

up , because I know everybody's reading about it . Everybody's

21:22

talking about it and

21:25

, yeah , I'm actually very embarrassed to even be

21:28

from Brankin County .

21:29

Every time we make national news , it's for something horrible

21:32

, so congrats to us

21:34

.

21:36

We've come so far from stuff

21:38

like that just

21:40

to bring it all back up

21:42

again .

21:44

Yeah , because I think they're

21:46

racist and evil . Yes

21:49

, I think they would have probably done the same

21:51

thing to white trash , white dudes

21:53

.

21:53

See , that's what I don't know .

21:55

But I don't know for sure . So

21:59

the whole thing is just the

22:02

tragedy . I mean , I think evil people

22:04

do evil things either way . But

22:07

I hope it wasn't just because they were

22:09

black , I hope it was more just

22:11

because they felt like they

22:13

could .

22:14

Like that , to give them that power . Yeah

22:17

, they had that power and they need to

22:19

get away with it for so long .

22:21

Yeah , because we were watching , Remember , the Titans the other

22:23

day and I was like can I ask my husband ? I said

22:25

can you imagine like

22:27

live like that's

22:29

? All you knew was to like hate somebody

22:32

just because , like I was ? Like I can't

22:34

imagine thinking that somebody was

22:36

dirty and going

22:38

to give me some like Like

22:40

I can't use the same toilet as

22:42

you or I'll get sick . I can't use the water fountain

22:44

, as you're all get sick . I can't imagine like

22:47

that being what I

22:49

learned and I try and think what

22:51

I would , I have questioned

22:54

it and like what I have known it

22:56

was wrong , or what I have gone

22:58

with what

23:00

I don't know .

23:01

That's tough , like that's a tough one

23:03

with it , because everybody else .

23:05

Yeah , because you get with what you're raised . I mean

23:07

like kind of like your political

23:09

views or your religious views . A lot

23:11

of times it's what you're raised on , it's what your mom

23:13

believed , just what your dad believed , your grandparents . So

23:16

if you're taught you

23:18

know a certain race is this and that

23:20

and they're dirty and they're bad and

23:22

you know . If

23:25

that's all you're taught , that's

23:28

just a tight spot . I mean , it's

23:30

obviously so wrong

23:32

. It's just , man

23:35

, I don't know . I

23:38

just hope that I would have had the sense to question it and

23:41

the sense to know

23:43

it was wrong , because

23:45

I just I can't imagine living that

23:47

way .

23:49

I couldn't either and honestly , I always

23:56

go back to the parents . I always go back to the parents

23:58

, the parents who raise these

24:00

boys . Honestly

24:04

, they have a nerve to blame for a

24:06

lot of it and honestly , I think

24:08

they are not around their kids

24:10

to raise them . At

24:12

this point , it's us a lot

24:15

, but I think they're better off , because you

24:17

don't know how they were gonna be raised and that'll just bring

24:19

up another person that's gonna act

24:21

in the same way . If they're ever put in a situation

24:24

like that , or have the opportunity to do it , they'd act the same way .

24:27

Well , it's kind of like once again

24:29

we go back to sexual assault . A lot of

24:31

times people who abuse

24:33

whether it's physically , sexually or otherwise

24:36

were abused themselves . So

24:38

I think it goes one of two ways , like

24:40

people who are abused either go

24:43

the complete opposite direction

24:45

and would never like

24:47

ever , consider it , or

24:50

their way to I get

24:52

not cope , but like they've

24:54

been so traumatized that they do the same

24:56

thing .

24:57

Like it was one to me .

24:59

so it's just

25:01

like get what they do . Yeah , I feel

25:03

like it's like the

25:05

polar opposites You're either one way or

25:07

the other .

25:08

Yeah yeah , that's true .

25:11

Yeah , I don't think people just I

25:13

think more often than not I

25:15

mean , of course there's just sick people , but I

25:17

think more often than not abusers

25:21

were also abused .

25:23

Yeah , yeah , it comes from somewhere

25:25

, not that it justifies it .

25:27

I mean there's no excuse for it . It's

25:30

just like when you see these kids

25:33

, sometimes you see you

25:35

hear about stories about kids who do it before

25:37

they to

25:39

a sibling or something , before

25:41

they're a neighbor or a friend , before

25:44

they even have like the mental capacity

25:46

to know what it is that they're doing because

25:49

that's been done with them . And

25:51

there's like signs and stuff at school

25:53

, like kids who have accidents

25:56

or kids who like there's just all these

25:58

things that lead a teacher

26:00

to believe they've

26:02

been abused , and so you have to look

26:04

for all these things .

26:06

We have to educate our

26:09

educators on the signs to look for

26:11

, and I think that's enough to act also .

26:14

Right .

26:15

Yeah , it starts somewhere , but

26:17

you have to break the cycle at some point . I think

26:19

the cycle will be broken , since

26:22

they were called .

26:24

I hope so , go on .

26:26

It makes me sick to even read it .

26:28

Yeah .

26:29

That was just . That was kind of like a . That was just

26:31

a topic because everybody was talking about it . I just wanted to bring

26:33

up and y'all can also

26:35

share your opinions and your comments

26:38

whenever we post this video . But

26:40

let's get on to what we had planned

26:42

to talk about , and that was just continue from what

26:44

we talked about last episode

26:47

. We're going to talk about pregnancy and

26:49

our husbands and how we met and

26:51

how they proposed . And

26:53

, lauren , I was going to let you go first because

26:56

you've been married longer than my two

26:58

marriages put together . So Are

27:02

.

27:02

We talked a lot about my pregnancy last

27:05

week , so

27:07

we have to go meet .

27:08

How'd you , yeah , how'd you invite me ?

27:11

So I dated

27:13

a guy in college

27:15

from the time I was about 17

27:18

. To the time I was about 22

27:20

. We'll just call him

27:22

Jimmy . We'll call him

27:25

Jimmy . So me and

27:27

Jimmy were off and on just

27:29

real , real , toxic , great

27:33

time . So we

27:36

we'd lived together

27:38

for about two years and

27:41

we broke up like

27:43

we did , and we

27:45

were going to be moving from the apartment we

27:47

lived in to another apartment because we got a dog

27:50

. So

27:52

between moving from

27:54

one apartment to the other , like

27:57

right before we moved out of the one apartment , we

28:01

broke up , and so he didn't do any of the work

28:03

. I had to move everything by myself , whatever

28:05

. Well , we

28:07

always got back together . So I just assumed

28:10

we would get back together eventually

28:12

, but

28:14

we didn't . When

28:16

he wanted to , I didn't want to

28:19

. When I wanted to , he didn't want to

28:21

. So I was not

28:23

looking for anybody

28:25

or anything . I was going to just

28:28

finish school , graduate

28:30

and move back . The

28:33

last thing I was looking for

28:35

was a single dad

28:37

who was living in Startfall

28:39

, the last thing . So

28:42

I'm waitressing at

28:44

the bin , which was just horrible

28:47

, because I am not a

28:50

service oriented person . I

28:53

mean I just I love it . It

28:56

was not for me . So

28:58

I was bartending and not bartending

29:00

Waitressing and

29:03

doing like a

29:05

like shot

29:07

girl . Like you know , they walk around and they

29:09

like I wasn't bartending but I

29:11

was like going around doing that like

29:14

after the restaurant closed

29:16

. So Bo

29:19

was there on a date with

29:22

another couple and

29:24

I wasn't paying any attention to him , like I was just working

29:27

, and so he like started like following

29:29

me up to the bar . I was like sir , like

29:32

go sit down , like I

29:34

have a job to do , like stop . And

29:37

I didn't really like even notice him really

29:39

, because I mean he

29:41

he's the exact opposite

29:44

of the guy dated . Like they

29:46

don't look alike , there's nothing alike

29:48

about them . Like he's not a jerk

29:51

, he's not blonde , he's not

29:53

, he's big bearded

29:55

Jolly

29:58

, like just

30:00

he is jolly .

30:02

He's like a young samples .

30:04

Yeah , kids love him . Like

30:06

, it's just not what I was looking for . So

30:08

a few days later I get a message on

30:10

Facebook and

30:13

it's from him and

30:17

I've always liked rap , so my little

30:19

, you could have like a quote on there like

30:21

a tagline , and

30:23

at the time it was Biggie Smalls and it was , believe

30:26

me , sweetie , I got enough to feed the needy because

30:28

I'm white trash and that's what it was . So

30:31

he wrote me this long message

30:34

about like and

30:37

it was just funny . And so the

30:39

guy he was with on the

30:41

date was a guy , was a

30:43

guy that I had . He

30:46

wasn't on a date with a guy . They were on a double date , let

30:49

me preface . That Was a guy

30:51

that I had done study

30:53

abroad with , so

30:55

him and I had lived together in Italy for

30:57

like six weeks , so I knew him

30:59

very well . Well , ironically

31:02

, beau had known him since he was like 14

31:05

. And

31:07

so he put us together and

31:09

he sent me a song message and so we started

31:11

texting back and forth . And

31:14

then I go down to the beach with y'all and

31:17

I had been texting him and I was like I

31:20

think this guy is gonna come down here and

31:22

like take me on a date , and y'all are like um , stranger

31:24

danger , like let's

31:27

not . Yeah , sure

31:29

, come on , yeah , you're like , okay , cool , kirby

31:31

bless her heart is as innocent

31:33

as a box of hair , so she doesn't know the difference

31:35

. But Boykin is our mother

31:37

goose voice of reason

31:39

. And she was like , mm-hmm . No , no

31:42

, probably not gonna do that . And I was like , yeah

31:44

, but we probably are but like , where are they gonna stay

31:47

? they're not saying yeah , yes , yeah

31:50

so I text him and I was like look , if you

31:52

want to take me on a date , you come here and take me

31:54

on a date . Well , I was five

31:56

hours away , so I didn't think that was

31:58

gonna happen . Well , he loads up

32:00

in the car with that guy and

32:02

another friend Drives

32:05

on down there and I'm like hey

32:08

, he's serious this is serious , but

32:10

also me . I Talk

32:12

a lot of smack , but I don't , I Don't

32:16

always match up to it . So

32:18

I started sweating because I Don't

32:22

like I got to I've got now You're . Now

32:24

I think you're a psycho because I don't do

32:26

grand gestures . Like if you do something super romantic

32:28

for me , I'm like where I panicking

32:31

like my hair , like I'm just like this , ain't

32:33

it ? Don't do anything wild

32:35

. Like do not ride on a scoreboard for

32:37

me . Do not do anything that's gonna

32:39

draw attention because I'm gonna

32:41

think you're gonna chop my body up and put it in the walls

32:44

. I don't know what to do with that . Like

32:46

, is this normal ? Yeah

32:48

, like , be mean to me

32:50

if you fall in love with you . Don't do any

32:52

grand rum , any . Like

32:55

yeah oh my god , do you

32:57

don't want to see me ? Oh , thank you

32:59

, you're unavailable .

33:00

Yes .

33:03

Yeah , I'm gonna go ahead , you might call me . So this

33:07

nice , super

33:09

nice , jolly guy comes and

33:11

takes me on a date and he's

33:13

just say I mean , just like I had

33:15

to be , like dude , you got to calm down because

33:18

I'll , I'll freak

33:20

out and just totally back off

33:22

. So we

33:24

kept seeing each other

33:26

. I met his daughter , who's now my stepdaughter

33:28

. 11

33:32

months later we were engaged and yeah

33:36

, and then 11 months later

33:39

we were married and now it's

33:41

going on 11 years . Oh , that's weird . And

33:45

yeah , and we have his

33:47

daughter and our daughter

33:49

together and

33:51

School starts tomorrow and one's gonna

33:53

be a senior and one's gonna be in first grade

33:56

, and it's gonna be a heck of a week .

33:58

Don't be busy , busy , busy . Yeah

34:00

, I remember when

34:02

Bo came down , I'm

34:05

when you walked into the beach and then then y'all went

34:07

out and , um , I Remember

34:10

whenever he proposed to you , he

34:12

took you back to the beach

34:14

, didn't he ? Yes , yes , so

34:18

like we all first days , or what

34:20

were we then ?

34:21

just like yes same location , but we

34:23

went to this place called cobalt and

34:25

he was weird the whole

34:28

way down there . It was the day after Thanksgiving

34:30

and his family used to go

34:32

to the beach at like that time

34:35

of year every year , and I think Brooklyn

34:37

was already there , because I don't remember her being

34:39

in the car . Um , so

34:42

we go down there and he's just asking me

34:44

all these questions the whole way down

34:46

there about like rings and stuff , and I'm like , uh

34:48

, stop , like why are you talk , like

34:50

why are you being so weird ? And

34:52

so finally we get down there and I

34:55

remember being cold and so I went and

34:57

I looked in his bag and I'm like digging

34:59

through his bag for a pair of pants , and

35:02

he's now he says

35:04

there's no way you didn't see the packaging

35:07

, because the Vera Wayne Packaging

35:09

was huge , like it was a bag and

35:11

a , but like it was a lot of what

35:13

that is . Everybody would

35:15

know what that was . But that's not

35:17

what I was looking for .

35:19

I was looking for a pair of pants , so

35:23

you weren't looking to stand out , because unless it's a pin

35:25

You're not gonna like , your eyes are gonna lock

35:27

into it .

35:28

Exactly . He said his like Stomach

35:30

almost fell out of his butt because he just knew

35:33

I had seen it but it hadn't . So

35:36

we go to dinner . I think the

35:38

next night is the day after Thanksgiving , and

35:41

so we go to dinner and he

35:43

asked me at like the very beginning of the meal

35:45

what I want for dessert and I was like I don't

35:47

know , cheesecake , sure

35:49

cheese tastes like okay . I said yeah

35:51

. I was like can we , can I get a water

35:54

? Like Can we start , like there

35:56

? And so halfway through the meal

35:58

I'm like I think I want to get Cumberlay

36:00

and Stan , he's like no . And I'm like what

36:03

you mean no ? And he's like no

36:06

, we already ordered cheesecake . And I'm like Okay

36:10

, freak , and so

36:12

.

36:12

I wanted , and now I can't get what I want .

36:14

I'm like you are so weird

36:17

no Context

36:20

at this point that anything is gonna

36:22

happen . I mean we had talked about marriage and stuff

36:24

and like talk , like I Knew

36:26

that , like it was gonna eventually happen

36:29

, but like there was no Scope

36:31

in my mind . This was maybe gonna happen

36:34

. That night , just like with the pregnancy , I was like , right

36:37

, yeah , we'd like inside it , even though it

36:39

was a possibility , just because I'm an idiot . So

36:42

they come out with the cheesecake

36:44

and the ringbox on there and Everybody's

36:47

like clapping and everything . I'm like oh god

36:49

. But You're

36:51

like , yeah , it was special and it was

36:53

sweet and I cried . I have no idea what he said

36:56

, like you don't remember because yeah , you

36:58

can't know you can't remember stuff in that

37:00

moment , whenever something like that I know , and that

37:02

, and of course bow didn't make sure I was

37:04

like dress nice or my

37:07

makeup and hair done , so my hair was like curly

37:09

and I was wearing just like a regular

37:12

shirt . I definitely , definitely

37:15

, didn't have my nails done , I mean , but he could

37:17

have said we're going somewhere nice to eat , you know . Dress

37:21

up yeah exactly , I'm

37:24

just wearing jeans while we're there . Exactly

37:27

so low maintenance .

37:30

Girl , if he , if he thought

37:32

to take you to the beach where y'all you know

37:34

had your first date , we all first , kind of like men

37:36

, start hanging out because that's where we were . Then

37:39

he actually Made

37:42

reservations at Cobalt because you have to

37:44

. He did a lot of planning .

37:46

Bless his heart .

37:48

He did more than probably what most guys would do .

37:50

Bless his heart . Let's just hold heart

37:52

.

37:53

I haven't seen baby . I think I'm like Four

37:56

years .

37:58

Neither of us . What

38:03

about you and old John

38:06

A ? I don't even know if I know that I mean

38:08

other than what you told me at the very beginning

38:10

, before we started recording . I

38:13

don't think I know . I don't think I knew .

38:16

Okay , so John and I work at

38:18

the same place , but we

38:20

didn't . We don't work in the same department

38:22

. I mean , I work at an after works in a totally

38:24

other building than he did . So

38:26

I never really saw each other and I've many . I

38:29

had met him one time before because he had to plug up my computer

38:31

whenever I moved to an apartment . So

38:33

, um , but we had this big , we

38:36

caught up those server migration and

38:38

of course , in season IT he

38:40

was part of the work group and I

38:42

kind of just wrote

38:45

like hey , if y'all need equipment , I

38:47

have to write it down , and like you were born

38:50

about for something . So , anyways

38:52

, the shifts were like there was one shift

38:54

From six to two

38:56

. I said I'm not , I don't , I'm

38:58

not early person , I'll take the second shift

39:00

, which was two to ten . And so

39:03

we had an R group . There's about

39:05

eight of us that came in and

39:08

I'm gonna say it lasted

39:10

probably about Three weeks

39:13

, maybe a month , but anyways . So

39:15

we Were

39:17

always working , we're in this conference room . We'd always went back

39:19

in there and like tell , like , what we're doing throughout the agency

39:21

, like with the servers , and slide that which ones are Done

39:23

, which ones aren't . So , um , we

39:26

were all talking and it was funny because this one other guy

39:28

that was in there , he was Asking

39:30

me , I guess , like , if , do I have a type

39:33

, do I have a type ? And

39:35

this is , this is about six or seven months

39:37

after my divorce . So , um , I was like I don't

39:39

really have a type , I'm just learning

39:41

at this point .

39:43

You used to have a type right , I'm

39:45

learning .

39:46

So I said I don't have a type and so he was

39:48

trying to um , I Guess

39:50

, I feel me . I like to see if I , if he had a chance

39:53

, or something like that I was like the other guy the

39:55

other guy . Okay so um

39:57

no , john , did you talk ? He

40:00

didn't say anything , he would just stand there .

40:01

Oh really .

40:03

Like , yeah , he doesn't really

40:05

talk . So , um , so

40:08

the guy , for some reason I don't know if he was trying

40:10

to embarrass

40:13

John or what

40:15

he was trying to do , but he looked

40:17

me in the face in that meeting and everybody was

40:19

in there and he said , um , well

40:22

, would you date John ? And

40:25

I looked atfer's like I

40:28

said well , I don't

40:30

really know him . And John chomped in and

40:32

he was like we don't know each other , we

40:34

don't even know each other . And I

40:36

was like , but I mean , if I got to know

40:39

him and I liked him , yeah , maybe . So after

40:41

that meeting I was thinking I was like , well

40:45

, would I date John

40:47

? Would I date John ? So

40:50

like I mean , a couple of weeks go by or whatever , and

40:52

I have to , of course , bug him to

40:54

death because he doesn't

40:56

talk . So everybody asked

40:58

him how'd you even get him to talk to you ? Because he doesn't

41:00

. You know , he's not a very social person . And

41:03

I said I guess I bugged

41:06

the crap out of him like

41:08

non-stop .

41:10

So anyway , so we start going on dates here and there

41:12

, and then I guess

41:16

it was like so would you say , you made the

41:18

first move , like who asked to it ? Yeah , yeah

41:20

, that's hilarious

41:23

. No one you . That is

41:25

hilarious Cause you've had to be chased

41:27

by him for the other guy

41:29

.

41:30

I have never worked this hard to get

41:32

a guy . You've never worked .

41:34

You've never worked . Let's

41:37

just go back to that .

41:39

This point I'm exhausted .

41:41

You're like this is it ? I've put in this much work .

41:45

So you know , we go on dates

41:47

here and there or whatever , and I

41:51

ask him if he wants to meet my family and he does

41:53

and I was

41:56

like I remember the day . I was like , so we're gonna

41:58

meet my family and he just looks like are

42:01

you nervous ? And he's like 100%

42:03

, 100% . Oh , I

42:06

was like my family's like the easiest

42:08

group to get along with .

42:09

Yeah , they really are .

42:11

So , anyways , so we

42:14

start dating Anyway . So we

42:16

the following year

42:18

, in March COVID hits , so

42:21

we both get put on COVID orders and I'm

42:23

working like 14 hours a day , seven days

42:25

a week , and so is he , and

42:27

we don't really get to see each other that much , but

42:30

we continue to talk and still see each other when we can

42:32

, and so

42:34

then we got more and more days

42:36

to just kind of you know continuing . He was like you know what , let's

42:38

take a break . We need a break because

42:40

we've been working so much , not in the relationship

42:43

from work . Oh , I was like

42:45

let's take a break . No

42:47

, so so I was like , yeah , so he planned

42:50

this , to go to Biloxi . And

42:52

I was like where's it gonna go ? Stay in Biloxi . I think it was like following

42:55

August or

42:57

September . Yeah , it was like

42:59

following August that he planned this . So we go

43:01

to Biloxi . And I remember the before

43:03

we went , candice asked

43:07

me do you think John's gonna

43:09

propose to you ? I said definitely

43:13

not . No , I said we've been

43:15

done like 10 months

43:17

.

43:18

Ew .

43:19

No , why would he even do that ? I was like , and

43:21

he's younger than me too , so I'm like I

43:24

said , I don't even think he's thinking that way

43:26

.

43:26

How much younger is he than you ?

43:29

Two years .

43:30

Okay .

43:31

Yeah it's not that much , but

43:33

so we get down

43:36

there and we go to the beach , and

43:38

the Biloxi beach , like you mentioned before

43:40

, it is what it is . I thought I had harassed

43:42

by a homeless woman and she accused

43:45

us of she knew what we were going to the beach to do

43:47

. Oh yeah .

43:47

And I'm like let's run . I was like I'm very

43:49

scared , so we got to get to the To get

43:51

tetanus . That's what we're going to the beach to do .

43:53

Oh great , because I'm definitely going to get it if I get in the

43:55

water or anything , I'm leaving with penicillin

43:57

shots for sure . So we

44:00

and it's so windy , so , anyways , we still on the beach

44:02

for a little bit and I'm like it's just sandy , like let's go . And

44:05

so we're , we're pressed the

44:07

storm , so we go back to , we

44:10

go get in the car and we're like let's go to find like a game

44:12

or something that we can go get with the play in the hotel

44:15

and we

44:17

get Uno and

44:19

cause we both we've played Uno all the time , and

44:22

so we get in there and we were playing

44:24

Uno and we're

44:28

done . Of course he beats me every time and I'm

44:30

just , I'm mad at this point . But anyways , I got into

44:32

the bathroom and I didn't know , on these

44:34

Uno cards you can make

44:36

up your own card On

44:38

some of them , yeah , some versions , yeah

44:41

, and play it . So whenever

44:43

I step back down , he he's like I got one more card to play

44:45

. I was like you just beat me , what's the point ? And

44:47

he gave me the card and said will you

44:49

marry me ? And I was like I

44:54

was like first off , that

44:58

was you had to like thought that on the fly

45:00

, cause we weren't planning to get a game and play

45:02

nothing . So I was

45:04

just like how did you think of this first ? That's what's

45:06

going through my mind . Like I didn't even answer and I was like how did

45:08

he even think of this ? How is he just over ?

45:10

What am I dealing with ?

45:12

So I was like , of course , yes , of course . So

45:14

that's how we got engaged

45:17

.

45:17

Oh .

45:18

And then , of course , four

45:23

months later . Five months later , I found out

45:25

I'm pregnant .

45:27

And how pregnant were you when you found

45:29

out ?

45:31

Two months , so before

45:33

before

45:35

I found out , I actually went to Katie's

45:37

house and our friend Katie

45:40

and I was sitting there and I was talking

45:42

to her about

45:45

cause . I

45:47

told John up front . I said , guess what I was ? Like

45:49

my clock is ticking .

45:50

I was like I want a child .

45:52

You know Past

45:55

marriage . He didn't want one , so I was

45:57

like I want one .

45:59

I was like I want a one-time 40 .

46:01

And , you know , have

46:04

a child Anyway . So he was

46:07

like , okay , like he's understood , okay

46:09

, if it happens , it happens . But also I have PCOS

46:11

, so I have like a cycle three

46:13

times a year . I don't

46:15

know when it's gonna happen . When

46:18

it does , it's horrible , but then

46:20

you know , whatever . So I

46:23

didn't think I was at all . So I

46:25

met Katie's and we're like talking about getting

46:30

being pregnant , how , if it was hard for her

46:32

to get pregnant and you know , just talking about that stuff , and

46:34

she offered me these I think it was maybe

46:38

ovulation strips , I don't know what it was

46:40

, I forgot it and

46:42

I

46:45

was actually pregnant at her house . I

46:47

was pregnant while we're talking about trying to get pregnant and

46:49

anyway . So after that , that was like in December

46:51

, and then I guess

46:55

it was like two weeks later , I took a

46:57

test , because I have to take random tests every

46:59

now and then , like if we wanted

47:02

to go have a drink or whatever , I needed to go take a test . So

47:04

I was on game night at my sister's house

47:06

and I was like , let me go take a test , I just

47:08

need to make sure I take a test . And then

47:10

I looked down and I was like I

47:13

don't think that is what it is . So

47:15

I called Candace on FaceTime

47:19

. I said what is that Same

47:21

Screaming ? And

47:24

I was like she goes , have you told John ? I said no

47:26

, I haven't told myself

47:28

. I didn't even believe it . So

47:30

I went to CVS and bought like four

47:33

more tests , all

47:35

different kinds , and you get one of them . They

47:37

also did the same thing pregnant . So

47:39

yeah , so I waited till he got home

47:41

and because

47:44

I was at his apartment at the time and I

47:46

was like I'm

47:49

pregnant and he just looked at me

47:51

like it's press

47:53

what , and of course I had already booked

47:55

a venue , I

47:58

couldn't get that money back . I was like I had unbooked

48:00

almost everything and

48:03

so we just went to the Justice of Peace and

48:05

got married and then had the ceremony

48:08

at the Fault in .

48:09

Earth . I was in both weddings , guys , both

48:11

of them , both weddings .

48:17

I much prefer my second dress to my

48:19

first dress . The second one was way

48:21

more fun . I had so much fun , so much comfortable

48:24

.

48:24

I was barefoot . Yeah , kid was

48:26

in it . It was wonderful it was so laid back .

48:29

It was such , and that's what I love about it is that Rivers

48:31

was in it . You have the pictures .

48:34

Yes , her and Foster , it was great .

48:37

But yeah , so that's how we met and how we

48:41

got engaged and then married , and

48:43

then how Oliver came about .

48:46

Now you can go into how Oliver

48:48

came about . So

48:51

, because that's wild .

48:54

So , and honest to God , okay

48:56

, so .

48:59

I'm not a crackhead , by the way , guys . I don't know why

49:01

I'm sniffing like this . I

49:03

don't know . I brushed my cat out earlier . We

49:05

live in the south . It is

49:08

what it is , so just excuse me . God is teaching the non-stop .

49:10

When we bartended last night at the Sterling Hall

49:12

he was seasoned non-stop . I swear .

49:14

I think it's the weather I saw your Snapchat

49:16

and I saw that you said I just thought that you maybe

49:18

misspelled something when you said you were bartending

49:21

. I was like what's she talking about ?

49:23

Girl man , we were bartending Like

49:25

bartending Like

49:27

just serving that alcohol at a wedding . Okay

49:31

, so the Sterling Hall helps coordinate

49:34

wedding , like she does . Uh-huh

49:36

, oh , so you were just like beer or wine

49:38

.

49:39

Basically Like a wedding . You weren't like throwing

49:41

up cocktails , no , Okay

49:44

, gotcha , gotcha .

49:45

I needed somebody to do it because they were busy at

49:47

another wedding , so I was like what do we ?

49:48

do . Yeah , okay , that

49:51

makes a lot more sense

49:53

. Yeah , if I can pop a top or pour a

49:55

red or a white .

49:57

Right and everything .

49:59

Nothing was like that . But if you ask me for a Manhattan

50:01

, I'm gonna be like come on , Do

50:03

you want a course ?

50:05

Right , what is that Like ? Even like

50:07

, whenever they asked about the wine , I was like we just

50:09

point to the bottle that you would like Red or white

50:11

.

50:12

Red or white .

50:14

Anyway , sorry , oliver , so

50:16

Oliver , okay . So I found out two

50:19

months after I was pregnant that

50:21

I was pregnant and then I ended up having him

50:23

two months early . So seriously

50:25

, I was pregnant five months

50:27

. It's like once I finally

50:30

got used to being pregnant , it was done , anyway

50:32

. So , based

50:35

on my age and my first born , then I also

50:37

said , like having a boy , my blood

50:39

pressure was high , constantly

50:42

high . My legs and my feet

50:44

and my face were so swollen

50:47

the entire time . Well , I guess , like

50:49

after , like February , I

50:53

would walk and my feet

50:56

it would hurt to walk .

50:58

Oh God , like the skin was gonna split .

51:00

Like I was , like it hurts so bad

51:02

, and so

51:04

I went . I had a

51:06

regular checkup to go check your blood

51:09

pressure just to see how all that was doing and stuff like that

51:11

, and with my nurse

51:13

and she

51:15

took my blood pressure and

51:18

she said it's too high , it's

51:21

too high . I want you to go to the hospital now

51:23

and I'm like and

51:26

I'm still working , covid , I'm still

51:28

working , covid . So

51:31

I get to the hospital

51:33

, they admit me , they put me

51:35

on . What

51:37

is it that brings your blood pressure down

51:40

? I think it starts with the M .

51:42

You're the doctor .

51:44

I cannot think of it for the life of me right now , but

51:47

anyways , it brings

51:49

your blood pressure down . They put an IV Magnesium

51:52

. Yeah , yeah , that's it . That's

51:54

it . You're

51:57

like I got it . So it was first of all , yeah

51:59

, cause I kept calling it mag . Yeah , for sure .

52:02

Yes , because Brittany Miller had to get

52:04

on it when she was with having the

52:07

twins .

52:08

She was with the twins .

52:09

Yeah , it was the twins , because they were trying to

52:11

come and I

52:14

just remember going up there and she was saying it burned

52:16

.

52:17

Yes .

52:18

Yeah .

52:19

It makes you feel okay .

52:20

At first I was like I was like Like you're burning

52:22

from the inside out , but then you're

52:25

hot .

52:26

They had to bring fans in the room and everything because I

52:28

was the one , so

52:31

that meant me and this is on a Thursday

52:34

, I believe and she's

52:37

like we're gonna keep you in here until

52:40

we get your blood pressure under control

52:42

. And then I was

52:44

like , okay , cool , well , of course I get . I

52:47

tell my work . Hey

52:49

, I'm in the hospital , like I'm on blood pressure or whatever

52:51

. I get a text back . Well

52:54

, can you work at all ? No

52:59

, no .

53:02

You're the reason my blood pressure is so

53:04

high .

53:06

Yeah , it most likely . Very much was

53:08

so

53:11

. So , um , what that ? Okay

53:13

, so then Friday , saturday come

53:15

around you know my blood pressure is going down a little

53:17

bit . So that Monday morning

53:19

they sent in a it's

53:21

like the sonographer , you know to

53:23

do the sale of the babies

53:25

doing . They do that score

53:28

to make sure , like they're moving a certain amount

53:30

of times , or they can't eat all that

53:32

stuff Saturday night and um , and

53:35

Candace was staying with me that night . They rotated

53:37

between John and mom and Candace and

53:40

I was . You know I love

53:42

watching people

53:44

and like looking at how people behave or

53:46

like you know the way facial expressions are like that and

53:48

I knew immediately , whenever she kept

53:51

doing something over and over , she wasn't seeing what she

53:53

wanted to see and

53:56

I was like something is wrong . I

53:58

was like something's not right . Um

54:01

, but she kept me calm

54:04

, you know , like if it was anybody else

54:06

they probably would have like never suspected anything . But , um

54:08

, I was like something's not right . So

54:11

she leaves out and not

54:14

two minutes later my nurse comes in

54:16

. We're having a baby . You're

54:19

like that's not good news . I said , huh

54:21

, no , we're not . I was

54:23

like , um , candace goes well

54:25

, do I have time to call John , like

54:27

her husband or her , for him to get here ? She said you've got five

54:29

minutes or you're going in with her , and

54:33

he just happened to be at work , which we

54:35

is downtown , which is five minutes from Baptist

54:37

. So he got there within five minutes

54:40

and scoot

54:43

to the left .

54:45

No , you're left .

54:50

I'm not sure if my chair

54:52

is rolling , so I'm probably just like rolling this

54:54

way , yes , but um

54:56

, okay , so then we go back into

54:58

the operating room and , of course

55:00

, the guy

55:03

that gives you the epidural or the

55:06

in your bag anesthesiologist .

55:07

Yeah .

55:09

He says we got one chance to

55:11

do this . And we got like , seriously , gave me

55:15

one time , we have to do it now . If

55:17

not I'm going to put you to sleep , I'm

55:19

going to if you're standing still as I can

55:21

, hunched over waiting for him to do it and

55:24

um , so then it happens . So

55:26

then , anyways , he's like can you feel this ? And

55:28

I say he put

55:31

, he gets all of her out . So

55:33

come to find out it

55:37

wasn't because my blood pressure was up , is because

55:39

the umbilical cord was wrapped around

55:41

all of her twice , and

55:43

it was not . It was like he was just doing flips , knotting

55:46

it up , and it was around his neck so

55:48

he wasn't moving . So that's why we got

55:50

to take him , because he's not moving . Um

55:54

, it had nothing to do with my blood pressure at all

55:56

. Like if they would have gotten a , but

55:58

they wanted on the sonogram or whatever , I would

56:00

have just stayed in there a little bit longer and let him finish

56:03

. Maybe give him another week cooking

56:05

inside of me and then put it out

56:07

. Yeah , so I just

56:09

if I would have not had a regular

56:11

routine appointment the

56:14

day that I went in he could have been a steel

56:16

berth . Yeah , he would have

56:18

been , or

56:21

if Christy didn't send me in and

56:23

she was like you know , just go home , relax

56:25

, put your feet up , so

56:28

, um , so I thank

56:30

God for her because she knows she knows

56:32

her stuff . Um , but

56:35

yeah , so he came out two pounds

56:37

15 ounces

56:40

, 14 or 15 ounces oh

56:43

and I was scared . I was so scared

56:45

, you know , you just sit there and think like , what

56:47

is he going to look like , like , what does he look ? Like

56:49

, and it's like my mom knew

56:52

the fear that I had and

56:55

she was like he's not like , see

56:58

through , Ashley , he's just tiny

57:00

. I was like how

57:02

should I know ? I was thinking that so

57:05

, but you guys after , while I was in there

57:07

also , they kept telling me . They're like breathe , breathe . I

57:09

was like I'm breathing . They're like we'll put out

57:11

, put oxygen on her . She said I know who's

57:14

going down , but I'm like I'm breathing . So

57:16

then they take me , I dot , outpatient or whatever , and

57:19

they tell me there , you can't go back to your room until you start breathing

57:21

. I was like

57:23

All right , so

57:25

I stayed there forever and

57:28

, um , she finally came

57:30

up to me , my nurse , and she's like I'm

57:33

so sorry , I worried you . You know your breathing was fine

57:35

and like they would , just wasn't picking up correctly

57:37

on the monitor or something

57:39

. I don't know , so stop . Is that

57:42

real ?

57:48

Sorry guys , my kid is slamming

57:51

into the door .

57:53

So you know , after

57:55

that he stayed in the NICU for about

57:57

six weeks and we

58:00

went and visited him every day until he was ready

58:02

to come home . He's fine

58:04

. He's two now .

58:06

He's so stinking cute .

58:09

And he has my hair . He doesn't look , he looks nothing

58:11

like me , but he has my hair and

58:14

that's really all I wanted him to have .

58:17

He does look exactly

58:20

like his father , except for

58:22

his straight little hair .

58:23

You know I got to take shirts , that John

58:26

shirts as copy and then Oliver's

58:28

little ones . He said paste so cute

58:30

. But

58:32

that is

58:35

my pregnancy and

58:38

I will not have another child . I'm traumatized

58:40

.

58:41

Oh god , no , this is about to be my

58:43

last

58:45

round of ladies days before

58:48

my hysterectomy coming up on September

58:50

the 12th and uh .

58:53

Okay , so that's seriously like a month away

58:55

.

58:56

Yep , your girl's going to be living

58:58

her best life after that , so

59:00

so that's what I can say , only so

59:03

I know you have endometriosis and you

59:05

also have PCOS and PCOS , yeah , and

59:07

several like autoimmune type problems .

59:10

So I was wondering , like if they just took my ovaries

59:13

out , can they do that ?

59:14

No , no , no , no , don't do that .

59:16

No .

59:17

Don't do that , because then you'll start to

59:19

have to take in hormones and all that stuff . So

59:21

they're taking everything but my

59:23

ovaries so that I continue to produce hormones

59:25

, so that I don't turn into like the

59:29

witch in Snow White overnight I

59:32

can still have hormones , but I won't

59:34

have anything else . And , oh

59:36

my God , I'm going to tell everybody

59:38

this because it's information I never

59:41

wanted to know , so now everybody else can

59:43

also know it without wanting

59:45

to know it . This girl I know , because

59:47

apparently just people our age are just

59:49

getting them left in right now , which I

59:51

mean . More power to you , do you boo boo ? So

59:54

I saw her at the pool and

59:57

she had had it like a week before , because it's robotic

1:00:00

, I mean , unless you have to have it , you

1:00:02

know something crazy Hormones

1:00:05

being done robotically . I'm staying in the hospital

1:00:07

for one night and then

1:00:09

I'll feel better

1:00:11

in a few days , and then it takes

1:00:13

, like you know , six weeks to like fully recover

1:00:16

, like I can't get in water or do anything

1:00:18

like that . She

1:00:20

said that when she woke up , though , she

1:00:23

felt like sloshy

1:00:26

or like empty where

1:00:28

all that stuff was , and I was like

1:00:30

I could have gone

1:00:32

my whole life without

1:00:35

knowing that . Because now I'm

1:00:37

going to be in a full block . They're going to

1:00:40

have to drug me simply

1:00:42

for that reason . And I'm not

1:00:44

going to lie , I'm a big fan of being

1:00:46

put to sleep . Huge fan I

1:00:49

do . I mean it makes me the nicest version

1:00:51

of myself . I'll be laying back

1:00:53

there and pre-op after they've given me my medicine

1:00:55

and I'm telling nurses how pretty they

1:00:58

are . I'm telling folks how good

1:01:00

they smell . I'm letting

1:01:02

my husband hug me and physical

1:01:04

touch is not my love language . I'm

1:01:07

letting people I'm letting him pat my head

1:01:09

and give me hugs . I

1:01:12

mean it's the best version of me you're

1:01:14

ever going to get is me coming

1:01:17

into and out of surgery

1:01:19

.

1:01:19

So I'm going to go to bed and sleep .

1:01:21

I don't mind being at the hospital . I really don't

1:01:24

. I stayed two nights with my appendix because

1:01:26

it was an emergency and I stayed two nights when

1:01:28

I had rivers . I don't mind it

1:01:30

. Everybody's always complaining . The nurses are always super

1:01:32

nice to me . The food I ain't even mad about the food

1:01:35

. The only thing I don't

1:01:37

like is when they come in . But they're usually

1:01:39

super nice when they do come in and they're like I'm sorry

1:01:41

, baby , you think

1:01:43

you could push that button and give me a little medicine

1:01:46

?

1:01:48

I'm hurting so bad . Could

1:01:50

you give me a little pill or something ? Can I

1:01:52

maybe get a heat and pad and a little cup

1:01:54

?

1:01:54

of ice I'll sit down .

1:01:55

I've hit it too many times I

1:01:57

think the button's broke .

1:01:59

She's like no baby , you hit too many milligrams Can

1:02:01

.

1:02:02

I get some more . No .

1:02:03

I didn't . Can I get some more ? I got a little cough

1:02:05

.

1:02:07

I don't mind the hospital

1:02:10

, either the beds do suck I

1:02:15

wasn't even mad about the beds . If

1:02:18

it's like one or two nights , that's

1:02:20

fine .

1:02:21

I'll be doing real well in the hospital . I'll be

1:02:23

doing real well . Give me the TV

1:02:25

. I don't mind my gown

1:02:27

. That gown is usually pretty cozy . They

1:02:30

come in , put socks on my feet for

1:02:32

me . This

1:02:34

is luxury . This is luxury

1:02:36

.

1:02:37

Like it's flowy the gown . I don't really

1:02:39

have to even take it off to do anything . It's greasy

1:02:41

.

1:02:42

Nobody's in the bed with me . I'm

1:02:44

a freak who loves the feeling of an IV

1:02:46

. I love that cold feeling

1:02:48

going through my body . I don't even

1:02:50

mind the gown . Oh man , as soon as they

1:02:53

put the IV in and I can feel that cold liquid

1:02:55

going through my body , I'm like this is

1:02:57

what I was made for . I would

1:02:59

be , well .

1:03:01

I don't think it's like , yeah , like when it

1:03:03

was in me or whatever , I could not stand . I was like I don't

1:03:05

want to bump it . I don't want to bump it .

1:03:07

I don't like that part , but I like the feeling of the

1:03:09

saline . Ooh , that's

1:03:11

nice . Make you all chilly

1:03:14

. Like I said , I could just live like this just

1:03:16

all the time . You need to walk around with a little IV

1:03:18

bag .

1:03:19

Can I just pay all my play for a room ?

1:03:21

Exactly , I'm just come up here and

1:03:23

just let me live Floor's clean

1:03:25

. It smells like bleach in there . This is nice

1:03:28

. I could just Got my old bathroom

1:03:30

. Yes , bathroom , they

1:03:33

got that good ice . Yes , big

1:03:37

old bathroom too .

1:03:38

That was the best thing was the ice

1:03:40

.

1:03:40

Yes , yes , I

1:03:43

was like yeah , I'm mad about a hospital , I ain't mad

1:03:45

. I'm counting down the days . I ain't even gonna lie to

1:03:47

you , just stop it .

1:03:48

I'm so excited , I just go oh , can't wait . So

1:03:52

is anybody gonna say that I'm with you ? I ? Hope

1:03:54

not yeah , but I don't need y'all I

1:03:56

hope not .

1:03:56

I don't need not . I don't need not narrowing a folk in there

1:03:59

, not nobody . Please don't

1:04:01

stay with me . I don't need no visitors either

1:04:03

. I don't need not the Spurs Visitor , just

1:04:05

not even no one .

1:04:07

Come pick me up , yeah .

1:04:09

They will wheel me down when I'm ready . Y'all

1:04:11

just come curbside , put me

1:04:13

in .

1:04:14

Have the car ready . Yeah , have

1:04:16

my bed I just get it over .

1:04:17

Yeah , I'm gonna stay right up here

1:04:19

. Y'all don't even worry about me . I live real

1:04:22

close . Y'all don't worry about me . Mama , you

1:04:24

stay here with Bo , make him some spaghetti

1:04:26

, take the dogs out , keep rivers

1:04:29

. I'm good , I'm just so

1:04:31

good . Uber myself to a hotel . Yeah

1:04:34

, I'm gonna stay right up here at . The Holiday Inn is where I'm

1:04:36

gonna stay .

1:04:36

Just right up here .

1:04:38

Then crispy sheets , crispy

1:04:42

white sheets , the

1:04:44

kind that feel like you've shaved your legs .

1:04:46

You did . If it's the middle of .

1:04:48

December , your leg hair could be eight

1:04:50

inches long and it would feel like you just shaved

1:04:52

them on them . Crispy cold sheets

1:04:54

. Put on some Kardashian

1:04:57

Marathon . Get

1:04:59

you a little ice in that ice bucket . Sit

1:05:01

it next to you on that table . Plug

1:05:03

in your phone to the lamp to charge

1:05:05

it . What's there to complain about

1:05:07

? Get your computer . You got everything right there . Keep

1:05:10

thinking nothing . Oh , and the bed is always

1:05:12

a queen size . You got two queens . Keep

1:05:16

threatening me with a good time Leave me I love

1:05:18

a hotel .

1:05:19

Always smelling good .

1:05:21

All these new ones . Now they pump that smell

1:05:24

in there that we talked about before Scent

1:05:26

air . We love some samples . We

1:05:28

would love that . I

1:05:30

mean what is ?

1:05:31

not to like . Most of them have a restaurant

1:05:34

that'll bring you your food . Absolutely

1:05:36

. Breakfast in the morning .

1:05:38

Yes , Put out a do not

1:05:40

disturb sign . I'm telling you , lades

1:05:43

, give you extra bottles of water .

1:05:45

If I was not married or had a child , I might

1:05:48

. I wouldn't even buy a house , I would just say , hey

1:05:50

, can I live ?

1:05:51

here . One of them couples that stays

1:05:54

on the cruise ship during

1:05:56

retirement .

1:05:56

Yeah , oh yeah , I'll work

1:05:58

there . I will work and just stay

1:06:01

there . Please Come on

1:06:03

. That is what I would love

1:06:05

to do .

1:06:06

Absolutely .

1:06:07

If you're not doing that , if you don't have any responsibilities

1:06:10

and you're not doing that , I don't know what you're doing .

1:06:12

Yeah , I don't know what your life's about . What

1:06:15

are you doing ? What are you down

1:06:17

? Well , anyway

1:06:19

, guys , we got a little bit over what we normally

1:06:21

do this time , but it's because we were just having

1:06:24

a good time . We hit a little bit everything

1:06:26

. But , if you would , we

1:06:28

would love for you to follow

1:06:30

us again on social media Instagram

1:06:33

at Midwife Crisis Podcast

1:06:36

, facebook and Midwife Crisis . This

1:06:38

will be on YouTube

1:06:41

, apple Podcast

1:06:43

, spotify wherever you get your podcasts

1:06:45

we out .