0:00

This. Week on myths and legends. Weren't

0:02

Irish folklore about a monk who gives

0:04

it all up to follow a dream,

0:06

a dream to be a writer and

0:08

a poet and will see how singing

0:10

poetry and writing short stories about bacon

0:12

lad put him in mortal danger. The

0:14

creature this week is that harry stranger

0:16

watching you on the road. Who might

0:19

be a secret giraffe. This.

0:26

Is Myths and Legends Episode Three:

0:28

Sixty Seven: Daft Monk. This.

0:35

Is a podcast. We tell stories from mythology

0:38

and folklore. Some are incredibly popular stories you

0:40

might think you know what with surprising origins,

0:42

others or tails that might be new to

0:44

you but are definitely worth a listen. This.

0:47

Is actually a fairly famous story from

0:49

medieval Ireland. And pay attention

0:51

because if you memorize it, You.

0:54

Can get a free cow. You'll. Have

0:56

to take it up with the king or

0:58

stewart or prince or something will jump in

1:00

with a kingdom that has a big problem.

1:03

And that problem? Well, It's. Brunch,

1:17

Okay, so the kings breakfast order you

1:19

ready? Here we go: A pig, a

1:21

cow, a ball cap, three score cakes

1:23

of pure wheat, that sixty cakes, six

1:25

zero, and a vat of new ala

1:27

just stopped writing. why did you stop

1:29

writing The warrior asked the new chef.

1:32

The. Chef said be cause that was

1:34

ridiculous. A cow. What Parts of

1:36

the cow either? That's everything from

1:38

hamburgers to flaming on. Also, you're

1:40

clearly messing with me. Sixty Cakes.

1:42

I would have to get up

1:44

at two in the morning to

1:47

start that. Well. Why do

1:49

you think you were hired so quickly? The

1:51

warrior said. Then. To servants burst

1:53

through the door behind them carrying

1:55

a between them the emaciated, exhausted

1:58

corpse of the previous. The

2:01

warrior spinner a back door. Taking

2:03

a back door, he was doing

2:05

the welcome orientation. Standing there with

2:07

the sound of the pair shuffling

2:09

away, the warriors smiled at the

2:11

new chef who was about as

2:13

liquid is as the summer chef.

2:15

Welcome aboard. His

2:28

graduation day any are mechanically the

2:30

young scholar and training her says

2:33

Professor Bello as his teacher sat

2:35

atop the wagon in here. Said

2:37

it it was, but that wasn't

2:40

for like three more years. Know

2:42

it's today. Congrats Scholar and Year.

2:45

The scholar claps he turned to his

2:47

servants. Were they way to go yet?

2:50

Why am I my distinguish colleague

2:52

at the professor as well? That's

2:54

because he was retiring going north.

2:57

It was now a time of

2:59

fam and it was famine time.

3:01

Be. Newly minted scholar and here

3:04

pointed at the fields of wheat.

3:06

That things were fine though he

3:08

had storehouse's full of all slated

3:10

for the King of Monster Team

3:12

Castles brunches. The scholar said an

3:14

arrow pointing to the barn of

3:16

Full of Life start. Snacks.

3:20

And nearest how any of this made sense,

3:22

how could one kingdom? King the

3:24

teacher and rep as his colleagues.

3:27

The people who arrived were very apologetic and

3:29

they wanted it to be known that it

3:31

wasn't them. They. Didn't want this

3:33

anymore than he did anyway. he was

3:35

going north. You try to do the

3:38

scholars and their job. At this rate

3:40

he couldn't imagine Ireland been safe for

3:42

too long. By colleagues,

3:44

the professor waved as the horses

3:46

covered him and his belongings over

3:49

the news and hills. The

4:03

rumors of Ireland's demise were greatly exaggerated

4:05

for the next year. There were rumblings

4:08

in the South that King Cathal was

4:10

consuming everything he did his hands on,

4:12

and most things he couldn't. But.

4:15

That didn't concern in here who

4:17

had taken his vows and. Was.

4:20

Now a months with did

4:22

concern any air was. Done

4:25

in your grip, the edges of

4:27

his desk and forget against the

4:29

wall, shattering everything. Even

4:31

the book somehow. His.

4:33

Fellow monks leaped up and

4:36

what was that that was

4:38

any or been done? The

4:41

other monk colleagues said no, yeah,

4:43

they gathered that much, but. Why?

4:46

In a or gestured all around the

4:48

room full of perennially moist stones. This

4:51

this was what they were going to

4:53

doing for the rest of their lives.

4:55

Hunched over in a room full of

4:57

shadows we've seen away, both metaphorically and

4:59

literally. There were the life

5:02

out there that was passing them

5:04

by Day by day. says hello,

5:06

Scholars chuckled. oh. It

5:08

was one of those one of

5:10

those what is it all mean

5:13

and is this it breakdowns of

5:15

midlife crisis at Twenty Five, which

5:17

somewhat track for life expectancy in

5:20

the middle Ages. A

5:22

new hairstyle? Maybe a new horse? He

5:24

would feel better. Well, not better. But.

5:27

Resigned. To his fate. Nope.

5:29

A near said he needed more he

5:31

wanted to live amongst laughed. What more

5:33

was there to life than copying books

5:36

into other books with a handful of

5:38

rich guys who wouldn't read them anyway?

5:40

He couldn't leave. If. He left.

5:42

He would see how good he had it

5:44

here on. We and Malays were a product

5:47

that having too much time on his hands

5:49

to think once he was miserable, worsened by

5:51

the sweat of his brow and the toil

5:53

of his hands. he would long to sit

5:56

all day in the schools dank room. Any

5:58

or should be said, no. He

6:00

was gonna be rich. He was

6:02

going to be a poet. The

6:05

monks looked at each other

6:08

then of. Back. To

6:10

him of really a

6:12

poet. And. That was

6:14

gonna bring him. Riches.

6:17

In your said yes. They said

6:20

now now wouldn't it is even in

6:22

the middle ages that does not how

6:24

that worked in your said he would

6:26

show them you'll be the greatest poet

6:28

display in had seen. That. He

6:30

would have White meets yes I'm

6:32

greedy and hungry for white meets

6:35

the. Now. Poet said and

6:37

yeah, see version of neat seen Hundreds

6:39

tells us that he was very hungry

6:41

for white meats and it was central

6:44

to his motivation. Any are gathered

6:46

a things and sold what little he owned for

6:48

two week takes and a piece of bacon. That.

6:51

Night he seems to hide shoes

6:53

for himself. In the following morning

6:55

he was gone. Your

7:05

scratched his legs and studied

7:08

the smattering of scarlet splotches.

7:10

He lifted the blanket and

7:12

solve scurrying. He groaned

7:14

in the laid back. Phillies.

7:17

Fleas and lace fan stick

7:20

when he arrived in Cork,

7:22

the biggest city in the

7:24

region, he knew he would

7:26

have to lower his expectations.

7:29

He had come from a while to do

7:31

monastery. That. Was supported by many nobles

7:33

and have been living for free. Now

7:35

he had to pay his own way. And

7:38

the only place that he can afford was,

7:40

well, nothing he couldn't afford anything. He san

7:42

Siro in the guesthouse attached to a monastery

7:44

one several orders of magnitude more dismal then

7:47

even the worst place in his former one

7:49

it was infested with fleas and lies, had

7:51

a door that didn't block the wind or

7:53

the dirt with the snow from flying in,

7:55

and neighbor that just bought a drum set,

7:58

and worst of all, Now. No

8:00

boy meets know any meets know any

8:02

food. A monks had completely neglected their

8:04

duties to their guest and he had

8:07

been sitting hungry for days. So.

8:09

Any are having nothing more to do

8:11

than sit in steel on is self

8:13

inflicted misfortune on the snow and rain

8:15

that blue underneath the door and the

8:17

fleas that ceases and his flash. See.

8:21

And. Hear City said he knew with

8:23

this was the local monks and scholars

8:26

were slow to help him on account

8:28

of him abandoning the church and giving

8:30

up on his studies to become a

8:33

poet and soft renouncing christianity. And

8:35

your shook his head. Stupidity was copying vs.

8:37

eat states didn't mean he couldn't som better

8:39

than any of them. He could solve all

8:42

day and all night. In fact. That.

8:44

Was what he would do. He. Has looked

8:46

a satchel from the wall and flipped open

8:49

the book inside and. He. Was right.

8:51

He could som like the best of them. Now.

8:53

If he didn't know salt as a book

8:56

of the bible purportedly by Kings David and

8:58

Solomon and it's full of songs and poetry

9:00

and will many people have songs home throughout

9:02

the history of the Christian Church in the

9:04

Middle ages, monks were the primary preserves. And.

9:07

Some monasteries which hit a thirty

9:09

thousand word mon book weekly. None

9:11

with as much vitriol though as

9:14

and near. When. People came

9:16

by the shouted him. Tackle. Him

9:18

or beg him to please. It was three

9:20

in the Maureen. Stop shouting Som! so loud

9:22

the entire city of pork can hear them.

9:25

They. Were met with well. Louder.

9:27

Psalms. Finally, The

9:29

monks or the monastery. After many

9:31

complaints from the local petty kings, asked

9:34

him to please stop. They would give

9:36

him anything to stop. They.

9:38

Found the door open. Any are

9:40

rocking back and forth. Psalms screechy

9:43

from his throat. I.

9:45

Brought you your meal the attendant waved

9:47

he has some fullington would some Pete

9:49

and some week biscuits and some way

9:51

water. Any or stop the

9:54

and. Blade. Of the monastery

9:56

or fourteen off his eyes and the darkness,

9:58

he turned to look at the novice. He

10:01

waited too long so is Psalms would

10:03

continue until dawn. He. Took a

10:05

deep breath and the novice flung himself to his

10:07

knees. Begging the man to please.

10:09

It was too many psalms. He needed

10:12

to stop the so mean. And

10:14

your look at his own cakes and way water.

10:17

A smile curled on his

10:19

cheeks. Fine know bible. Poetry

10:21

Bed This is a quote from an

10:23

eighteen Hundreds version of the story. He

10:26

begins. Court Sour is it

10:28

say is soil is sad.

10:30

Food there is none in

10:33

it. Onto doom I would

10:35

not eat unless family to

10:37

sell them the open rations

10:39

of cork corks. Open rations.

10:42

Along with did carry the bread well

10:44

worth him. Who eats this rash and.

10:47

That. Is my say my lad. Arms.

10:51

Quick note of a workshop in it,

10:53

even accounting for differences and taste and

10:56

time period. Shinier, Probably should

10:58

have stuck with the scholarly work. The.

11:00

Habit of the monastery though would not

11:02

agree with me. Because. Any years

11:05

insult poetry regarding food and pork in

11:07

the quality of it's soil was. Too

11:09

good. And that

11:12

was terrible. Will

11:24

be the repercussions of and years poetry but

11:26

that will be read after this. So.

11:28

Cause I was just in the scenery site

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Any or have shouted the verses almost as

13:57

loud as he had shouted the psalms by

13:59

the time. Not as made it back

14:01

the abbott's quarters and thought his breath the

14:03

vs were bouncing off the stage, the abbey's

14:05

corridors, Company by last the

14:08

at it pays. No no no

14:10

no little boys will sing those

14:12

verses unless the words or avenged

14:14

on him who made them. The

14:16

Churches response to frankly this fairly

14:19

toothless and legitimate critique of the

14:21

churches own food situation. Well, It.

14:24

Was a bit heavy handed any

14:26

or was to be whipped until

14:28

quote his flesh in skyn break

14:30

in sever from his bones. Then.

14:33

He was speed in the water of the

14:35

Li river, then stripped naked and made to

14:37

sleep in the guest house with all the

14:39

lace written blanket and then he would be

14:42

crucified. Also. The little boys

14:44

would not think his vs. And.

14:46

That's what happened. Almost.

14:49

The with been in the water and

14:51

the lace blanket happened and even the

14:53

other monks thought that all that was

14:55

a bit much. And crucifix

14:57

in that? What were these are? They

14:59

weren't the bad guys in the situation

15:01

because crucifying a religious figure. Even.

15:04

If he was just a monk with

15:06

a number one hit song so like

15:08

something they in particular should not do

15:10

like, maybe they should have learned from

15:13

that. Habit Manson though. Wouldn't

15:15

hear it. Know this man to seem

15:17

the church in. His punishment was death

15:20

and. He looked

15:22

up suit. They. Had spent

15:24

all day in the forest. You seat

15:26

Enter was forced to cut and build the

15:28

cross on which he was to be crucified

15:31

for his mean words and any are. Either.

15:33

Because he was still bleeding from the

15:36

beating the previous night or wanting to

15:38

put as much time in between now

15:40

and his crucifixion as possible kind of

15:42

dragged his feet. The. Sun went

15:45

down on the Sunday and the monks had to

15:47

return to the monastery. Mention. The

15:49

abbot seat. Or right.

15:52

And here was to be bound to

15:54

Bolder and she would continue working at

15:56

First Light. I

16:07

had a dream of isn't an angel of

16:10

the Lord spoke to me? is so me

16:12

how to see court from Tinker Fall in

16:14

here said when the monks begin untie him

16:16

the following morning. Hold up.

16:19

One. Of the local kings soldier said the

16:21

monks. What? In your

16:23

turn to the man, Think a

16:25

solid visiting soon, right? The

16:28

soldiers said yes. Everyone knows

16:30

that and is low key

16:33

evacuating town. I conceived

16:35

the cities, but you must take me

16:37

to the King immediately. and your said

16:39

the Abbott's Sept in front of him.

16:41

This is an obvious stall tactics. The.

16:43

Former monk just didn't want to

16:46

be crucified. At

16:48

kind. Of can you blame him as the

16:50

soldier who have been sent by the king

16:52

to oversee that this crucifixion from mean words

16:54

was being carried out legal he said. But.

16:58

A month saying he had a vision from an

17:00

angel about how to stop. Kinda thought. He

17:02

had to call this an. Crucifixion.

17:04

Is on hold. Everyone pause The crucifixion.

17:07

Collective. Groans went up from the people

17:09

assembled to what a horrible execution. Biggest

17:11

entertainment choices were limited in those times

17:13

and in here was taken before the

17:16

local king. The. Petty King when

17:18

he saw the rough shape and

17:20

near within. maybe thought that he

17:22

should have another talk with the

17:24

app. it's about extra judicially executing

17:26

people but he had other bigger

17:28

more existential problem story about. Keen

17:31

to thaw was coming kings us

17:33

all. The High King of Monster

17:35

would destroy them all. He

17:37

would quite literally eat the petty king

17:39

out of house and home. What's.

17:42

Your plan and he exhaled as he took

17:44

a seat. The petty kings shrugged have burned

17:46

down as castle and run north as fast

17:48

as he could. Shrugged.

17:51

Not a terrible plan, but

17:53

he had a better one.

17:56

The. Petty king stood there so. What?

17:59

Was it because of? The good he had to

18:01

get to burning and and your had to

18:03

probably go back to being crucified. And

18:05

your said that that wasn't how the who's

18:08

gonna work. What would the team gets him

18:10

to not be bankrupt and early destroyed? A.

18:12

Seat from every fall between car

18:15

and in court that petty king

18:17

said compared to the alternative Absolutely

18:19

sir. And near nodded

18:21

with a smile. Leaned into the king's

18:23

year with a cup, tanned and explained

18:25

his plan with the. Six.

18:39

They were just tying seen Cathal

18:41

suits the petty king pace the

18:43

floor the already had dinner which

18:45

cost him up almost everything. The.

18:47

Petty king found crossed spears keeping him

18:49

in the throne room and a king

18:51

that was down in an apple every

18:53

few seconds. Sue. I mean,

18:56

it was hungry business. Well not

18:58

even shoe tied. Having your shoes

19:00

tie really says kings hassle of

19:02

monster was not gonna tie his

19:05

own shoes please. He was too

19:07

busy eating for that pursue time.

19:09

He needed an entire bushel of

19:11

apples. And. A pack is a

19:14

quarter of a bushel, and a pet is about

19:16

twenty eight apple's so bushel is well over one

19:18

hundred. During. All this any

19:20

or was juggling. He had to

19:22

have a reason to be in

19:24

the room. And those reasons we're

19:27

juggling satire, singing songs, and buffoonery.

19:29

Now. Buffoonery his bag and ball. No

19:32

amount of research yields the said i'm

19:34

all as he. The public domain version

19:36

of the story uploaded to the internet

19:39

archive has Buffoonery underlined and in the

19:41

margins and beautiful penmanship is just written

19:43

thirteen, so probably not, but it's my

19:46

own head canon that any or was

19:48

working the room with juggling and fart

19:50

jokes. A true professional in here

19:52

wanted to get the lay the land

19:54

to see what he was up against

19:56

with surprise to near so much with

19:58

how. Nor. All the king

20:00

looked. Almost. Malnourished for someone

20:03

who ate a cow for breakfast and

20:05

a hundred apple's while having issues tied

20:07

any or took a deep breaths. It.

20:10

Was time. He. Dropped the balls in

20:12

his hands in his first screw. silence. He.

20:15

Started. Smacking his lips.

20:18

The court finally took needs when

20:20

any around the corner grabbed a

20:22

whetstone against which sorts for sharpened

20:25

inserted filing down on it seriously

20:27

grinded his own teeth against the

20:29

stone. King. Cathal stopped eating

20:31

for a moment to. Look.

20:34

At the young men, I'm

20:36

what was the scholar guy

20:38

doing? I grieve

20:40

to see you eating alone. And

20:43

year said before getting back to

20:45

nine. The king's hands trembled

20:47

for a bit, but. Piece. Of

20:49

the sad and exhaled sharply before

20:52

grabbing an apple than to and

20:54

rolling them across the hall. To

20:56

the scholar. Whole court

20:59

gasping unison. Plant

21:01

in the Us for three and a half

21:03

years, the king had not performed such an

21:05

act of generosity in humanity. And.

21:07

Here raised an apple and smiled and

21:09

thanks to the King, the king was so

21:12

honored that the young man thought of

21:14

him that he said in between literal

21:16

mouthfuls of apple's that anything the young man

21:18

asked will be granted to him. And

21:21

there's been a folk tales that

21:23

the Middle Ages was a big

21:25

deal. promise. This. Was like were

21:27

eating offers anything and then comes to regret.

21:29

Complete. Blank check promises that

21:31

no way ever fast with me.

21:34

In a are asked. When. Took another by

21:36

the the apple. Backfire,

21:39

The kings finished his sentence. Fast,

21:43

but just tonight's like most

21:45

people have to do. Then.

21:48

Tomorrow will break the fast together.

21:51

And your smile again. Getting.

21:53

Said but. But. Why And years

21:55

said it didn't matter why. Pulitzer.

21:58

Say it was to make tomorrow's breath. That

22:00

much more enjoyable. The King said

22:03

that he he fasted every day.

22:05

He went five almost seven minutes

22:07

between meals. He was good eats.

22:10

He. Promised. And while he

22:12

cared about his meals he made of recognize that

22:14

he had to be a man of his word.

22:17

Also. It just worked out. but the

22:19

petty king was completely out of food and.

22:21

Had to go rustle up some cattle for breakfast in

22:24

the morning. So the king

22:26

agreed yes, he would just have

22:28

to eat double cows and pigs

22:31

and cake for breakfast. everyone

22:43

was in on it now which was

22:45

why is it of willing in the

22:47

breakfast buffet like became commanded the warriors

22:49

restrooms drag the kings in bed by

22:51

his beard and shoved him of bright

22:54

on the pillar. He was

22:56

surprisingly strong for middle east king

22:58

who never worked out and it

23:00

took nearly ten warriors to finally

23:02

bind to begins the pillar. Then

23:04

the scholar a near walked in

23:06

the king how that this was

23:08

treason. Where were his warriors. The

23:11

scholar said that they had a

23:13

walk in with nice to their

23:15

throats. They were really easy to

23:17

subdue though very hungry that's problem.

23:19

The. King wouldn't be lectured on how to run

23:21

his own kingdom from an assassin in a traitor.

23:24

They. Were to let him go this instant

23:26

and maybe he will reward him with a

23:29

swift death. Though I fully

23:31

plan on letting you go. Near

23:33

said. What? After you

23:35

kill me? The. King snarled.

23:38

Know. After i tell you about

23:40

a dream i had any or said. Despite.

23:43

The king at me be wanting and year

23:46

to kill him instead of listening to someone

23:48

talk unsolicited about their dream. Be.

23:51

He didn't have much of a choice.

23:53

Then the smell and year waved and

23:55

the servants Roldan meet on a spit

23:57

in a bowl of funny. The

24:00

near told the story Keithley start a bit

24:02

of meat and dipped in the honey. He.

24:05

Would take it past King Castles mouth and

24:07

then put it in the zone. And.

24:09

Near nibbled the meat on the sticks

24:11

and began his story. All.

24:23

See the story that might just see the

24:25

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24:28

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26:42

I'm gonna tell you a lot of this

26:44

completely straight from the original because I worry

26:46

that you'll think I'm elaborating or making you

26:48

think it's somehow more ridiculous than it is.

26:51

You have no power of eaten

26:53

a near heard in his dream

26:55

as the voice sounded in his

26:57

ear. He apparently knew what that

26:59

meant even though I don't. The

27:01

king though was more occupied with

27:03

the scene settings. Now look

27:05

with with for the podcast I like

27:08

to get to the point. Podcast writing

27:10

is different from book writing, so I

27:12

rarely spend time elaborating on how a

27:14

scene looks or feals. instead letting you

27:16

film the details A near does not

27:18

share my sentiments. In. The Dream:

27:21

He needed to go to the

27:23

Wizard Doctor to regain his power

27:25

of eating and defied all kinds

27:27

of quote: savory, tender, sweet food.

27:29

He's definitely not afraid of his

27:32

adjectives, but like any good story

27:34

it will require Request a quest

27:36

to pull assimilate recreational exercise through

27:38

a land made a food in

27:41

the wide expanse of New Milk

27:43

Harbor. Probably. Name such because

27:45

old, no carb or sounds especially

27:48

gross he sounded Juicy little coracle.

27:50

Of Wealth or Irish boat

27:52

made obese, It's doors

27:55

were kurds. it's prowl lord Stern

27:57

butter and or is made of

27:59

venison. Laughing rivers of beef

28:01

broth over swelling waves of buttermilk

28:03

and past pools of lard and

28:05

islands of cheese and near found

28:07

himself at the land oh early

28:09

eating in front of the withered

28:12

doctors hermitage. There was a

28:14

gate of cream and not sure how that

28:16

works even under dream logic and it was

28:18

secured with a bolt. a sausage. It

28:20

was after opening those things that he

28:23

found the doorkeeper bacon Ladson of butter

28:25

tins son of lard a poll. Despite

28:27

being made of bacon, he wore shoes

28:30

of dried bacon. Do not think

28:32

about that an analogous way to human flesh.

28:34

it will only gross you out speak. And

28:36

last had a tunic of corned beef and

28:38

a girdle of salmon skin and a hood

28:41

of flummery which is sort of like a

28:43

fruity moose. I think I've not had it.

28:45

The. Story is at least consistent in

28:48

that the horse underneath Bacon Lads

28:50

was also made out of bacon.

28:52

It had honey eyes and custard

28:54

legs. Boost. The horse and bacon

28:56

lads led a near through the door

28:59

to see the wizard doctor put The

29:01

wizard doctor was busy said in his

29:03

house in order his house with a

29:05

walls and roofs and everything else we're

29:07

trying or cow stomach he was wearing

29:09

gloves made of rump steak and here

29:11

walked as the kitchen where and lake

29:13

of way the wizard doctor son was

29:16

angling for meat. when is lying taught

29:18

to bring up a fillet of corned

29:20

beef or a Serbian of ham. Then.

29:23

He lost his balance and tumbled

29:25

into the cloudy, lumpy liquid and

29:27

year waited long after the bubbles

29:29

stop coming up and started to

29:32

think that maybe the wizard doctors

29:34

son wasn't doing all right. When.

29:36

A body fluid to the surface of the

29:38

way. This. Was all but confirmed.

29:41

He. Decided to get out of the kitchen

29:43

and back to the main room down.

29:45

The wizard doctor was finished with his

29:48

wall flash charcuterie board. And you're

29:50

sat on a bench of butter and. Kept

29:52

cities, Farther. And farther

29:54

sinking into the butter, unable to move

29:57

his hands or pull himself out. And

29:59

as as. The plunder and the

30:01

butter poured in his mouth was unable

30:03

to scream or even breathe. For.

30:06

Strong men pulled him out by his hair

30:08

and he was looking into the eyes of

30:10

the with er doctor himself. And

30:12

near new that this was his chance

30:14

he said. He had a disease

30:16

he had no power of eating, which

30:19

was clarified to mean that he couldn't

30:21

eat. Even. With all these

30:23

things around him, which, yes, are actually

30:25

supposed to read as extremely delicious and

30:27

tempting, every bit of the story is

30:30

supposed to be mouthwatering. sorry if you're

30:32

on a diet And I just made

30:34

things more difficult by describing walls lined

30:37

with cow stomachs in bacon, lads horse

30:39

with honey eyes. Secure.

30:41

At least from the with Er doctor.

30:43

With simple enough, we're not gonna linger

30:45

too long since all this is nonsense

30:47

anyway and I blinked the sources so

30:50

you can feel free to read and

30:52

interpret the saw you want. But.

30:54

The cure did not been able to

30:56

eat was yes eating. Eat. More

30:58

souls with eight types of grain cover with

31:00

eat had the condiments and drink only as

31:03

much milk is eight men would drink. Now.

31:06

The wizard doctor rested his hand

31:08

on a new your shoulder quote

31:10

go now said he in the name

31:12

of cheese and made a smooth

31:14

juicy bacon Protect the me the yellow

31:16

cody cream protects me the colder

31:18

and full of pot is protect

31:20

the. And. That's how and

31:23

year said eating the seventh morsel that

31:25

been honey. I was

31:27

cures. I. Think we should do more

31:29

things in the name of t he turned to while

31:31

the courtiers, what do you guys think. They.

31:34

Thought that this was a delightful journey to

31:36

a whimsical world that they wanted more of

31:38

may be a franchise of the food world

31:40

tell the story than a trilogy of the

31:43

Origin of The Wizard Doctor may be a

31:45

Bacon Lag Kids series and here said that

31:47

he thought that that was stretching the concept

31:49

a bit. but what truly matters was with

31:51

the king thought. The. Fall.

31:55

To thaw, The story with

31:57

people seen in a way that a lot

31:59

of great it is. Like. A great

32:01

prestige tv show. The story took place

32:04

in in and throwing enough slightly confusing

32:06

world the king one in more but

32:08

he also heat is how it made

32:11

him feel. King Castles strained against the

32:13

ropes screed seen. The. Story was

32:15

too good. He wanted to eat all

32:17

of it. Yes, the house made out

32:20

of crepe, bacon, lads sandals, pools of

32:22

lard and beef broth. and yeah, I'm

32:24

just using be least appetizing parts of

32:27

the story. It's not an easy task

32:29

by the way. Once again, it's all

32:31

linked in the shown us. The.

32:34

Last bit of meat dipped in

32:36

honey lingers in a new year's

32:38

hands. Tinker solve eyes followed the

32:40

dripping morsel as a near held

32:42

it aloft. But then the scholar

32:44

putting on a stick. He

32:46

smiled and poking the flesh through

32:48

hold it out for tinker thall,

32:50

but. It. Was just out of

32:52

reach. Well. Out

32:54

of reach of tend to fall that is.

32:58

The. King of months to me to gagging sound.

33:00

And then his eyes widened. He

33:02

made to scream, but no sound

33:04

came out. No. Sound.

33:07

Only gray clause the gripped either

33:10

side of his mouth as eyes

33:12

opened in this throat. Eyes

33:14

that mass the hunger of kinda thaw.

33:17

And. Near didn't waste time. he grabbed the

33:19

creature that emerged by the neck and pulled

33:21

him from a through to the king. The.

33:24

Bodies seem to keep growing and growing. And to

33:26

the little gray monster with nearly half the size

33:28

of the king. But. Out of his mouth, Cut.

33:31

The rope. Get him outta here and

33:33

hear screams. The men waiting with the

33:35

knives. The king's head hung senseless. And

33:38

the body stream the ropes. He was unconscious. And.

33:41

Year through the morsels of food into a nearby

33:43

called her and the monsters that doom and scrambled

33:45

to them. And your turn the

33:47

cauldron over and pushed underneath. and overhead.

33:49

We're not even the demon inside. Good

33:51

bugs, the iron. And he

33:53

a rush the wall and gripping the

33:56

lanterns just started smashing them against the

33:58

would walls and floors. The. Oil

34:00

sprayed in the splashes ignited as the

34:03

petty king ran a stop and near.

34:05

But. It was too late. His. Curtains

34:07

and pillars and floors caught.

34:10

His. Palace would burn. Okay,

34:13

Why are you arresting me in here? Felt

34:15

the boots the guards when he hit the

34:17

pete outside. A pity King

34:19

screech that the king was going to eat

34:22

all his food. Justice. food, dust palace not

34:24

as curtains. He had lost way more than

34:26

if he just did nothing at all. But.

34:29

Casal is cured, the demon is dead

34:31

and year point into the palace regime

34:33

of flame and the night and. The.

34:36

Figure. The. One that was.

34:39

Black. Against the night sky and

34:41

said Above the Palace. Oh

34:44

you know what? I think the

34:46

problem was a near said. That.

34:48

You tried to destroy a demon with

34:50

fire the king cried, nearly pulling out

34:53

his hair. Three. And a half

34:55

years I have brought ruined to Munster. and

34:57

three and a half more and I would

34:59

have ruined all of Ireland if not for

35:01

the nobleness the monks of Cork, in their

35:03

wisdom and purity and honesty, and for the

35:05

worth of the noble and venerable king, and

35:07

for the abundance of knowledge. If. Not

35:10

for those things I would jump into

35:12

design throat. Yes, Into. You I

35:14

would go when they would last you with

35:16

dogs, straps and horse whips in your hunger

35:18

would kill the The Betty King looks better

35:20

near on the ground. Who could only shrugs.

35:23

His wounds were still bloody after being beaten

35:25

by the monks. And he had

35:27

left to do poetry. He didn't know the noble

35:29

monks this demon was talking about. Okay

35:32

and year said and making the

35:34

signed the cross and quote threatening

35:36

the months or with the gospel.

35:39

Not. Quite sure how that works, but the

35:41

demon with sure how that works and

35:43

it's shrieked and fled into the night.

35:45

And. Near was there when Kings Athol

35:48

awoke, but a near returned to

35:50

the Church City, so that may

35:52

be there was a place for

35:54

him. He wasn't perfect, but God

35:56

uses imperfect people for good in

35:59

this world. He found

36:01

joy and solace in his simple work.

36:03

Following. God and leading others

36:05

and uncertain times. Just.

36:08

Getting he left the church take the petty

36:10

king up on his offer of all those

36:12

seat and became the chief storyteller and meat

36:15

cutter for think the fall because yes his

36:17

food, world League and lads story was so

36:19

good. But. Most important of

36:21

all, he finally got all

36:23

that weight meet! The. Story

36:25

and saying that if you can recite

36:27

it from memory than a king or

36:29

queen, a married couple or a prince

36:31

oh you we spotted ready a cow,

36:33

a new linen shirt and a woman

36:35

cloak with a brooch. I. Linked

36:37

the show notes in both English and

36:40

Irish. for anyone visiting them or know

36:42

some kings or nobles and who liked

36:44

it has that. The

36:58

service Kind of interesting because it varies

37:00

wildly between versions, with some even cleanup

37:03

and near been a month at all,

37:05

which I guess he kind of wasn't

37:07

throughout most of the story, but some

37:09

versions even cause insult poetry, and in

37:11

some division is more so religious revelation,

37:14

and in others it's possibly his own

37:16

invention. My hope I kept it suitably

37:18

ambiguous. Next week it's Indian folklore, and

37:20

you'll see a husband give his wife

37:22

a wonderful necklace. Made

37:24

out of eyeballs. And he

37:27

likes sports. The show there's still a

37:29

membership thing and the site for less

37:31

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37:33

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37:35

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37:39

their ad free bonus episodes the show

37:41

that have less of a danger of

37:43

going horribly horribly wrong check out misspodcast.com/membership

37:45

or minus an Apple Podcasts for more

37:47

info on the membership. The

37:56

creature this week is because senior from

37:58

Japan for be surreal they can be

38:00

cushing, you know is a monster who's

38:02

next grows as you look at it.

38:04

It it's the form of an old

38:06

man and a whole thing is that

38:08

you're supposed to keep looking up and

38:10

up until you fall backwards and then

38:12

it sets on your throat like an

38:14

attack dog who's going through a midlife

38:16

crisis that just gnaws at your throat

38:18

leisurely. To. Me knowing feels a

38:20

little slow. a little half hearted

38:22

like it'll get you. Eventual

38:25

eats, but it's hard as and in it.

38:27

Me: That's just a translation thing that really

38:29

does tears your throat out viciously. Who knows.

38:32

If you're thinking, why would I not just

38:35

run away or at the very least, if

38:37

I feel like I'm losing my balance, does.

38:39

Not. Keep looking up at the obvious

38:41

trap. Oh wow. That's

38:44

how you get out of this whole thing.

38:46

That's how you beat it. You just don't

38:48

do that one very specific thing that will

38:50

lead to your death. That being said, the

38:52

fact of the thing is out there means

38:55

enough people probably follow the head all the

38:57

way up. Oh also, you can't just run

38:59

away. Sources are unclear and this, but if

39:01

you want to fleets you have to say

39:03

I have seen past you. If you didn't

39:05

see that then you'll be crushed by bamboo.

39:08

Even if you're not around bamboo, it will

39:10

fall out of the sky and crush you

39:12

like a piano on a Loony Tunes cartoon.

39:14

The creatures also known to make the

39:16

sound of a swain bamboo plant. so

39:19

maybe motorists mackey with their next like

39:21

address. Either way, it's not fun. Decreases.

39:23

Themselves Like I said, liquid very hairy

39:26

old men with loose wrinkled monk robes.

39:28

It said that for women in particular,

39:30

if you go to a toilet at

39:32

night and a certain prefecture of Japan,

39:34

a fox will seep shift into this

39:37

creature and menace you by asking. Wipe.

39:39

Your butt wipe your but he really

39:41

cares about hygiene in the most intrusive,

39:44

off putting way possible. I guess in

39:46

areas where the animals can transform is

39:48

thought that this creature is just an

39:50

animal plane. a fun trick I knew

39:52

where it gets you to fall back

39:54

and. Slowly tears out your

39:57

throat. Basically, I know we say.

39:59

daughter. Strangers especially that Harry guy

40:01

staring you down on the road. But

40:03

you might want to mutter, i see

40:06

past you before. Quickly. Getting

40:08

on your way. That's

40:15

it for this time. Myths and Legends is

40:17

by Zeus and and Chris Wiser or theme

40:19

song is by Broke for Free and the

40:21

Creature The week music is by Steve Com.

40:24

There are links even more than he squeezed

40:26

in the Senate. Thank you so much for

40:28

listening and will see you next time. Find.

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