0:00

Alex and I went to a little meeting for fellow

0:02

Radiotopia creators earlier this

0:04

month, and one of my favorite presentations

0:06

was from Ian. He's the host of Everything is

0:08

Alive, and he got up and just

0:11

talked about how you create wonder

0:13

in the world, like what happens when you imagine

0:15

how a can of Coke might feel after spending

0:18

its whole life sitting on a shelf

0:21

and not being drunk. And that is

0:23

the premise of his show, Everything is Alive. It's

0:25

an interview show in which all the subjects

0:27

are inanimate objects. But this

0:29

year they're bringing you something different, and I am so

0:31

excited about it. Right now in the Everything

0:34

is Alive feed, you'll find a brand new special

0:36

series called The Animals, an interview

0:39

show in which all the subjects are, well,

0:41

animals. You'll get to know a beaver, a jellyfish,

0:44

a flamingo, and more, all sharing

0:46

the trials and tribulations of what it's like

0:48

to live elsewhere in the food chain. Like

0:50

Everything is Alive, it's funny, informative,

0:53

and poignant. It features great comedians

0:55

and performers like Vinnie Thomas, Conor Ratliff,

0:58

Maeve Higgins, and Harry Kondabulu. Find

1:00

the animals in the Everything is Alive podcast

1:03

feed now.

1:08

Hello, my name is Kelsey McKinney,

1:11

and welcome to a little bonus episode

1:13

of Normal Gossip. We

1:15

are in the thick of production for season five

1:17

right now and cannot wait to share these stories

1:20

with you all. They're deranged and weird

1:22

and so fun. But I

1:24

thought you might like to have a little treat while you

1:27

wait. So we decided to make one of our subscriber

1:29

episodes public, and that's what you're going to find here in

1:31

this episode. On the first Friday

1:33

of every month, we release a special episode where

1:35

one of our friend level subscribers comes on to

1:37

tell me a gossip story of their choosing.

1:40

It is literally one of the best hours of my month,

1:42

and so many of the stories are so

1:44

good. You can become a subscriber

1:46

at the friend of a friend level for $5 a month

1:48

and get all of these episodes, including the

1:50

backlog. Or you can become a subscriber

1:53

at the friend level for $12 a month and

1:55

get all the episodes and the backlog and

1:57

be entered into a lottery to get to be the guest.

1:59

and come on the show and tell me your little story.

2:03

Friend level subscribers also get added to the close friends

2:05

list on Instagram where we are up to all

2:07

sorts of shenanigans. To subscribe,

2:09

just go to supportnormalgossip.com.

2:12

There was one other thing that I wanted to tell

2:14

you about before we get into the story. What

2:18

was it? Oh, right. Yeah.

2:20

It was that season five of

2:22

Normal Gossip will return in a couple of weeks. We

2:24

will be back on October 18th. So

2:28

mark your calendars. And I

2:30

hope that this story with subscriber

2:32

Bridie Lee Kennedy will tide you over

2:35

until then. Bridie is

2:37

an Australian TV writer based in London

2:39

and her debut novel Go Lightly

2:41

is out next year. It's being billed as

2:43

a spiky bisexual love story. So

2:45

I truly cannot wait to get my

2:47

hands on it.

2:59

Bridie, welcome. Hi, thank

3:02

you so much for having me. I'm so excited. It's

3:05

such a delight to have you.

3:08

I'm glad to have an

3:10

Australian too, since we have many Australians for some reason

3:12

that I

3:19

don't really understand. We love gossip. I

3:21

think that's the reason. Is that just innate? They teach

3:23

you that at birth?

3:26

Well, I think we definitely have like

3:28

a sort of warm

3:32

shit talking sensibility in Australia.

3:35

So gossip spirals off from that.

3:37

What does warm shit talking mean? Like

3:41

what's cold shit talking? I guess that would

3:43

be more helpful for understanding. But please

3:45

go ahead. Well, cold shit talking is

3:47

definitely more what British people do. I imagine

3:50

after having lived here for 10 years. Warm

3:54

shit talking, I guess, is like

3:56

you are very likely to be

3:59

critical of someone. your friends in like the

4:01

most loving way

4:03

possible if you are from Australia.

4:05

I think it's exemplified in how Australians

4:08

like

4:08

use the C word. Americans

4:12

find like shocking the

4:13

way we do it, but like you are often using

4:16

it affectionately and it does not translate

4:18

to American English at all. Right,

4:22

because Americans are like, oh, so you hate your

4:24

friend. And you're like, no, she's my best friend.

4:26

Yeah, it's like, oh, no, I was speaking about

4:28

my mother who I love.

4:31

I would die without her. But yeah, I have

4:33

called her that. I

4:35

love that incredible start. Right. Will you tell

4:38

me what your relationship with gossip is? Besides

4:42

warm shit talking, which is obviously a key component.

4:46

Yeah, I love gossip.

4:48

It's amazing. And I think I have

4:51

always been

4:53

like unashamed of that in a way that it's

4:55

only when talking to other people that I'm

4:57

like, Oh, maybe I should hide

5:00

this more when people are like less into it.

5:02

But

5:03

I grew up Catholic,

5:06

like kind of fun Irish

5:08

Catholic rather than like the scary Catholic.

5:11

Okay. A lot of that

5:13

is like drinking

5:14

and talking about people. So in

5:17

my family, like whenever my my

5:19

mom's like Irish cousins and stuff were around,

5:21

like the

5:22

thing I always think about is

5:24

they would often start stories about

5:26

people who were either dead or not there by

5:29

saying, now, you know, we must never

5:31

seek ill of the dead or departed, and then everyone

5:33

would cross themselves. And then they would go

5:35

and then they would just go.

5:37

Like, oh, we've crossed ourselves. We've made it

5:40

okay with God. Now we

5:42

can say whatever we want.

5:45

And also like my mom's

5:47

family generations before

5:50

now, but they were all

5:53

kind of low level criminals. Okay, great.

5:59

They were like,

5:59

Irish migrants in Australia and they

6:02

basically ran illegal gambling in

6:04

the city. Got that rule. That's

6:06

so funny. It's like a fun thing

6:08

to run as well. Like if you're going to be a criminal, it's like,

6:11

yeah, like betting on the horses. Yeah,

6:14

you're running illegal games.

6:16

Exactly. Exactly. And

6:19

they like really ran it through the church and like,

6:22

like,

6:25

so that was definitely like

6:28

growing up, you know, that

6:31

generation was kind of dying out. They were like the generation

6:33

above my mom, but like they used to just tell

6:35

the

6:36

most completely nuts stories about

6:38

like

6:39

their involvement, but also like the church

6:42

and also the like definite complicity

6:44

of like the cops. Oh my God. So

6:48

like I definitely grew up in a household where golfers was

6:50

like

6:51

a fun thing to do. And

6:54

then yeah, I work in TV and I worked

6:56

in comedy before that. And like,

7:00

I was like, Oh, yeah, I think a lot

7:02

of your guests have said that like, it's definitely

7:04

a way to protect yourself. Because

7:08

yeah, like I started out in comedy when I was

7:10

like, 19. All

7:12

of the people around me were like 35 year

7:14

old dudes. Yeah. Yikes. It's

7:17

like a very unpleasant ratio. Yeah.

7:20

But yeah, like definitely older

7:23

women were like invaluable

7:25

to me then, because they were

7:27

like very willing to talk shit about

7:30

the men. Yeah,

7:33

I think it's the

7:35

I want to be like, Oh, I think it's like

7:37

a social good. And I do, but

7:39

also it's just fun.

7:41

Yeah, I mean, that's kind of we run into

7:43

this every episode, right? Which is that like

7:46

gossip is a word that isn't very

7:48

narrow. It's a super broad word.

7:50

And so it's like, yes, it's equally technically

7:53

gossip for someone older than you to be

7:55

like, Hey, watch out for this guy who's bad. And

7:58

it's also gossip for you to like go up. to your friend at

8:00

work and be like, did you hear that she like crashed

8:02

her car this weekend? Like those

8:06

are not the same, but they have the same word,

8:08

which is kind of awkward. So

8:10

you said you've told us about your family and your

8:13

work relationship with gossip. What is your personal

8:15

relationship with gossip like?

8:16

Do you gossip with your friends? Which

8:19

member of the gossip group are you? So

8:21

I think definitely my friendship group,

8:23

my friends know that if they want to talk about something, they

8:25

can send it to me and I'll be like

8:27

totally on it and

8:29

like thrilled about it. And not only that,

8:31

but I'll

8:33

take my own personal diversions to like,

8:36

develop my own theories about things. And like,

8:39

recently,

8:41

something like actually very minor happened.

8:43

Okay. Me and your friend's wedding, but like

8:46

wedding gossip is one of my favorite

8:48

things ever. Perfect. Perfect.

8:52

The stakes are like,

8:54

act in, in real, you know, in the grand

8:56

scheme of things, the stakes of a wedding are probably low,

8:59

but the stakes of a wedding in people's lives are

9:01

so high. But I

9:03

love any game.

9:05

It's a wedding.

9:07

I don't know. I like, I feel

9:09

like a wedding is also the only place where it's like,

9:12

I have all of these people together, right?

9:14

Like all the people from the various points of

9:16

your life are in one room and who knows

9:18

what they could tell each other. Like that is alone.

9:21

Just an immense amount of tension. Yeah.

9:24

And so I love that. And so basically

9:26

like something happened at a mutual friend's wedding and like three,

9:28

I wasn't there and like three different people got

9:30

in touch to just like, let me know. Oh my

9:32

wow. You know, thank you so much to the

9:34

scouts of gossip who reported back

9:37

to you. That was so kind. I then

9:39

did try and like get my partner involved

9:41

in discussing it. And

9:43

he like, he thinks that he's a good

9:45

gossip and like, loves to gossip. But like, he really burnt

9:47

out pretty quickly. Like

9:48

he has this one theory and

9:50

then he's done. Whereas I'm like, no, let's

9:52

pull the different threads. Let's look at this from other sides.

9:55

And he's like, Yeah. Okay. That's

9:58

why you have friends.

9:59

yeah sometimes

10:02

you know you have friends who really cares by one theory

10:04

and sometimes they're right and then you have people

10:06

like us who are like i've created a spreadsheet of seventy

10:09

two potential theory that i could interact

10:11

with each other in the place with

10:14

solas my people id are

10:17

you ready to bring me whatever it is that

10:19

you have come here carrying

10:21

that the hum yes

10:24

the my sorry as many as go

10:26

now in com when i was ah

10:29

my i

10:29

was a cabaret for formal which i'm

10:31

not anymore okay credible

10:34

from their high stakes well that nice

10:37

art festival oh my god for

10:40

the and

10:43

they're basically something that use the have for when

10:45

i was so then cabaret of am i

10:47

would to are a lot and i'm and i'm going to

10:49

festival dogs time and ultimate goal

10:52

and am when

10:54

you that

10:54

outfit for the lot you you do

10:56

end up seeing a lot of the same people

10:58

at all of them on people

11:01

will like have their show whether

11:04

it's a cabaret show at the at a show comedy

11:06

whatever and they'll usually to about one show for

11:08

a year which can be sick festival where

11:10

you go from

11:13

yeah so kind of development of is like weird

11:15

camp things were like

11:17

that people that you wouldn't otherwise

11:19

necessarily see you're spending like a

11:21

month at a time in a small city

11:24

where

11:25

it has like circus sideshow mate

11:27

like the plague traveling pits

11:29

are tense right like we're all here i know it's

11:31

like an actual festival but they say

11:33

i feel like campers almost

11:36

is very funny

11:37

there are always tenth involves as

11:39

well so inaudible of

11:42

but yeah like through the so

11:44

this i mean the servicemen like

11:46

closer decade ago now but i'm

11:49

i

11:50

had sort of being at one festival

11:53

like month earlier and had had this

11:55

like the little plantation armor

11:57

with a guy that i'm going to call back

12:00

And Sam was in a

12:02

play, a very well-reviewed,

12:04

serious theater kind of play, with

12:06

two other guys.

12:09

So it was just three people in the play who

12:12

I'll call Tom and Will. Okay,

12:14

Sam, Tom, and Will. Yeah,

12:16

that is what all British men are called, anyway.

12:19

Yeah, that's all the names they

12:20

have there. Pretty much, yeah.

12:22

And so I'd had this brief

12:24

rotation with this guy Sam, and then not seen

12:26

him for months. And I think in that period,

12:30

I had a girlfriend, and he

12:32

did as well, and

12:33

I was like, oh yeah, not.

12:36

And then we didn't talk for

12:38

months.

12:40

Then many months later, we ended up at a different

12:42

festival. And on the first night, I was talking

12:44

to someone about how I had gone through this

12:46

breakup. And Sam is there, he's

12:48

there, I've also gone through this breakup.

12:51

Wow, nearing past.

12:53

Exactly. And I should say

12:55

right at the start of the story that

12:58

most of the story doesn't concern me. The

13:00

reason that I need to set this

13:01

up is that this is why

13:04

I knew the story so deeply. Okay,

13:06

incredible. Because of my intersection with this person. Because

13:08

of your crush. Yeah, basically.

13:13

And

13:15

so all of these festivals have two

13:18

to three festival

13:20

bars

13:21

where all of these people drink

13:23

together. Right. Usually,

13:26

there's nothing else to

13:27

do. You finish your show for the evening and you go

13:29

to

13:29

the performance bar. So again, it's kind

13:31

of that thing where you're like really thrown together with these

13:34

people for quite some time. So in

13:36

the performance bar in front of all of

13:39

our industry peers, very visibly,

13:41

us learning with each other. Yeah.

13:45

Sam becomes very drunk. I'm like, oh, I'm

13:47

not, you know, but towards the end of

13:49

the night, he kisses me in front of all

13:51

of these people.

13:52

Bold.

13:53

And says in front of everyone, you know, you've got to come

13:56

home with me. And I say, no, really drunk.

13:58

I say, you know, let me know if.

15:59

Okay, so this staffer

16:02

from Bennett is like, are you okay?

16:04

I heard about what happened with Sam. And

16:06

at this point, you have no idea what this person is talking

16:09

about. Is that correct? Yeah,

16:10

no idea. And I thought, like,

16:12

what an odd question we kissed

16:15

once and what?

16:15

Just

16:18

because I kissed this guy one time in front of everyone

16:20

we know

16:20

does not mean I'm invested. Exactly.

16:25

And the stuff was like, oh, you

16:28

know, I heard the whole

16:30

thing that happened and then you

16:33

had a fight with him at his shows.

16:35

What? I was like,

16:37

that wasn't me. Oh,

16:39

oh. So

16:40

this stuff is like, oh, I'm so sorry.

16:42

I must have really got the wrong thing. I was like, that's

16:44

so weird. And I was like, do you want to tell what happened? And

16:47

she was like, oh, don't worry about it. I've clearly

16:49

like, oh, made a huge mistake. It's

16:52

too late now, babe. You started. And

16:56

so I was like, well, I'm fine.

16:58

And she's like, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. And

17:01

again, we're in this kind of situation where

17:03

she's like, we're sort of working

17:06

together, but we don't really know each other. Right.

17:09

Don't worry about it. I got it wrong. So

17:11

I was like, okay, so we do the show. And

17:14

then the next day at the at

17:16

the performance bar and now the

17:18

performer comes up and is like, is it true?

17:20

You like went off at Sam?

17:24

And at his venue and I said, no,

17:27

I've

17:27

not seen him. I have no,

17:30

you know, pardon this. So I'm

17:32

like, this is getting weird, though, because this is like the second

17:34

time I've been asked this.

17:35

Right. There's clearly like a rumor

17:37

going around that is incorrect. Yeah.

17:40

And it's

17:40

about me like going off publicly,

17:44

which I was like, I love the drama, but

17:46

it was slander. Yeah.

17:48

So I

17:51

asked this

17:53

friend what happened. He said, oh,

17:56

apparently, like, you know, because you

17:58

hooked up with Sam and then you got it.

20:20

Well,

20:24

people think of you because

20:26

Sam has a

20:28

pretty consistent experience. And

20:32

the person this is does

20:35

look like you.

20:36

Okay, so like physical

20:38

traits, his type. Okay.

20:40

Yeah. And at the time I had

20:42

like a very blunt cut fringe, a

20:44

bang, and like, and

20:48

I had like dip dyed hair. Okay.

20:50

So I guess

20:51

when I, I, I, I did

20:54

eventually meet this person and I was like,

20:55

okay, I guess I can't do that.

20:57

Right.

20:59

The people from the side stage were like, Oh, it's

21:02

her.

21:02

Look at her hair. Exactly. The

21:05

look was essentially like underpaid,

21:08

quite

21:09

sexual in the creative arts. It

21:11

was like, I know about that. Look, I know

21:13

all about that. Okay. Yeah.

21:15

Oddly consistent. Yeah. Um,

21:19

so apparently Sam had, I guess

21:21

a couple of nights after I had had this

21:23

interaction with him. Right.

21:25

Um, had gone to the

21:28

performance bar attached to his venue.

21:32

Um, and this

21:34

woman

21:36

who worked at the venue, but

21:38

in a different space was at

21:40

the bar.

21:41

Fake bridy.

21:42

Yeah. Fake bridy. Exactly.

21:46

So fake bridy is the, um, God

21:48

knows initially Sam thought we were the same person,

21:50

but I really wouldn't want to pass him at

21:53

this. That's

21:56

a good one. So

21:59

he definitely like.

21:59

he's not sitting on this young woman

22:02

and it turns out like she's seen the play

22:04

and she loves it and she thinks he's

22:06

like Amazing and again, I love

22:08

mik that That

22:11

is so hot and so is lady mik that who you're

22:13

yeah, everyone says that

22:14

And

22:17

so she was like, oh I think you're really talented

22:20

and I'm working at the venue now But like I also

22:22

want to be in theater

22:24

Okay, so it seems like a really nice

22:26

like cute match. Yeah um

22:29

and so they Stay

22:30

there drinking and

22:32

I also think a lot of people saw this

22:34

happen and

22:35

might have thought it was me as

22:37

well

22:38

Okay Because

22:39

it seems to have all happened quite publicly

22:41

at the start

22:42

So they all have some they

22:45

have some drinks and then he's like do you want to come home with

22:47

me? And she's like, yeah, and okay,

22:49

so we have the same

22:50

Play that we have already seen with

22:52

you at the bar now. Yeah fake

22:55

brady, but she chooses. Yes

22:58

Yeah, and you know

23:00

Fair play to her one further week

23:02

into the festival. I probably would have as well But

23:04

I think it was like opening night. I was keeping my options

23:07

a little more open, you know um

23:10

And so she's like, okay And he says like come

23:12

back to mine and i've got whiskey

23:15

there and like let's have a whiskey and like

23:17

hang out sure, great

23:19

so they're walking home

23:21

and um, they

23:24

start talking about how they

23:26

both Really into

23:28

like games and like game knives.

23:31

Okay. Sure. Yeah, and that's like,

23:33

okay, that's a fun thing they have in common

23:36

um

23:37

so they get home and he pours

23:39

them both whiskey and they're drinking

23:41

and She

23:43

is like

23:44

I feel pretty drunk but like

23:46

fun drunk You know,

23:47

okay, um, and she definitely assumes

23:49

that he is also like fun drunk.

23:52

I'm feeling fun drunk We're at like about the same

23:54

level and it's like a good first hookup level

23:56

of drunk.

23:57

Sure. Great

23:59

so he's like

23:59

Oh, I really wish that we were,

24:02

you know, in my flat and like the majors

24:04

to be that I live in, but it's not this one. Right. Right.

24:06

It's a board game and we just play ball games.

24:09

And she's like, Oh, open my board game

24:11

closet and reveal

24:12

the clue. We could play it. Exactly.

24:16

Or like just like do a weird,

24:18

like six hour settlers of the town. Yeah. That's

24:21

what, that's what every girl wants to

24:23

be brought back to your flat, served

24:26

a whiskey and then forced into a six

24:28

hour

24:28

board game at one in the morning. Perfect.

24:30

Thank you, Sam. Okay. Continue. This is like a worst

24:33

day, but maybe not a one hour board

24:35

game.

24:36

Oh

24:38

yeah. So she's like, Oh, um, yeah,

24:41

you know, obviously that'd be cool, but like, she

24:43

is like feeling quite flirty and quite

24:45

fun. And she's like,

24:48

you know, we

24:48

don't really need a board game.

24:50

Why don't we play a game? Like, you know, like hide

24:53

and seek.

24:55

Okay.

24:56

I'm immediately confused by

24:58

this, but I like it. Okay. Please.

25:01

What's very important to note

25:03

that she suggested hide and seek, not him.

25:07

Um,

25:07

and I'm terrified. My body is

25:09

filled with terror. Again,

25:13

everyone's fight. Uh-huh. So

25:16

he's like, yeah, let's play hide

25:18

and seek.

25:18

And she's like,

25:20

well, why don't I make it like extra

25:22

special when you find me? So she

25:25

starts taking her clothes off.

25:26

Right. Naked hide and seek. Naked hide

25:28

and seek. Sure. And he's like,

25:31

that's hot. Like great. Let's do

25:34

that. They are drinking more

25:36

whiskey and she's taking her clothes off and it's like

25:38

very sexy and then she's like, okay, count

25:40

to 10. Yeah.

25:43

So he counts to 10 and, um,

25:46

at first he like finds her quickly and it's

25:48

like a funny

25:48

joke. Oh, I'm

25:50

going to like, you know, do better this

25:52

time. So,

25:57

I guess just to back up slightly.

25:59

What we're all staying

26:02

in is, so

26:04

a lot of these festivals happen in cities

26:07

where there is normally like a big university

26:09

town. Sure.

26:11

Okay. But it happens in like the summer or in the break.

26:13

Oh my God. You're like in a dorm?

26:15

Yes. So a lot of us

26:18

are staying in essentially university accommodation.

26:20

Okay.

26:21

And Sam is as well.

26:24

And this is not reflective on the quality of the show. This

26:26

is what we all see. Yes.

26:28

I have a question before you continue.

26:31

In this university housing, is the

26:33

bathroom shared?

26:35

Usually but only with like the

26:38

people that you're doing a show with. Got it.

26:40

Okay. A weird quirk, which I guess isn't necessarily

26:43

relevant to the story. A weird quirk in this

26:45

particular vessel is that we all had, for

26:48

a long time, I would always stand rooms just had a sink

26:50

in my room, but nothing else.

26:52

Oh, huh.

26:53

Okay. Sure. It always felt

26:55

very strange because I was like, why

26:57

am I doing anything

27:00

else? Why am I just constantly expecting

27:02

to be washing up in here? Like very

27:04

layout. Right. Yeah. Now

27:06

that I think about it, my college dorm had a sink in it, but

27:09

nothing else,

27:10

which is like, sure. I guess you can brush your

27:12

teeth in private, but that's like the least of the

27:14

private things you need to do. So really.

27:17

Yeah. It's like they,

27:19

it was like they went far enough with the plumbing to give

27:21

sinks and then we're like, Oh, but that's what it

27:24

was. It's like a bridge too far. Yeah. Those

27:26

you have to share. Okay. I'm sorry.

27:29

I got distracted by the toilet situation. She's going to hide

27:31

again is where you were. So she's

27:33

going to hide again.

27:35

So Stan

27:37

starts counting to 10 and

27:39

he goes right to his bed and like closes out to

27:42

count to 10 and she goes to,

27:44

it's in a big room because I think

27:46

it's usually a double room. Okay. Got

27:48

it. So

27:49

she goes to a wardrobe.

27:52

Oh no.

27:53

She gets in and pulls the door closed

27:56

and it's like, you can see out

27:58

of it. So it's got like.

27:59

like it's airy and everything. Sure,

28:03

okay. But presumably

28:06

either because it's cheap university accommodation or for

28:08

some sort of security reason, this

28:12

cup is locked.

28:14

Yeah, of course it does, because she got

28:16

in it and closed it, closed it. That's how

28:18

it works. Sure. So

28:20

she gets in and it's just like his

28:23

hanging things. So like some shirts and jackets,

28:25

but otherwise pretty spacious. And she's like, ha ha,

28:27

very funny. And

28:30

she realizes that Sam's not

28:31

saying anything. Oh no. And

28:34

it's because Sam has passed out.

28:40

I think like an evening. Wake up. Yeah.

28:43

So an evening of drinking

28:45

plus then coming home and drinking

28:47

presumably

28:48

quite a lot of whiskey while preparing

28:50

for naked hide and seek was

28:52

just a bridge too far for Sam.

28:55

Not only is she now locked in a cupboard,

28:57

but it's like, you think you're playing this little sexy

28:59

game that everyone's very into and now

29:02

Sam is asleep.

29:04

Totally passed out.

29:06

So she tries calling out for

29:09

a while and nothing happens and

29:11

hangs on it and nothing happens.

29:14

Oh my God. And eventually she just

29:16

takes

29:17

one of his jackets

29:18

and puts it on. Sure.

29:21

And lies down and like kind of curls.

29:23

So it's like one of those was just like built in.

29:25

So she's like lying on the ground.

29:27

Got it. Like above the

29:29

ground, but she is just like lying

29:31

in a jacket. Oh my God. Thank

29:33

God it's a big wardrobe. Yeah.

29:36

She did say, I will say I did eventually

29:38

have this conversation with her. She

29:41

did say it was not comfortable, but

29:43

also she had also been drinking. I bet not.

29:48

So she'd also been drinking and it was like four

29:50

in the morning or something at this point. She's like, I'm just going

29:52

to sleep. Right. So she goes to sleep.

29:56

Now

29:57

the next day,

29:58

Sam wakes up.

29:59

pretty early because he has

30:02

fallen asleep in all of his clothes on the

30:04

bed. And he gets up

30:08

and he thinks,

30:10

God, I feel awful.

30:12

Right. I'm going to take myself

30:14

out to breakfast. Sam,

30:20

I wish you would think what happened to the girl that

30:22

I was playing hide and seek with. That would

30:24

be a good thing to think. It

30:27

would be good if he remembered

30:29

at that point, this had happened at all.

30:33

And instead he stands up

30:35

and he goes to the front

30:37

and he thought, I'm going to go and get myself

30:39

like a Coke breakfast. And he

30:42

leaves.

30:43

Great. So she

30:45

was asleep at this point, take Friday

30:48

and

30:49

sort of wakes up to hear like

30:52

the door closing. Right. Sam,

30:55

Sam, nothing. So

30:58

here's where we'll pick the story out because

31:01

we'll get up to go to use

31:03

the bathroom and they're like, right.

31:06

And here's someone just yelling,

31:08

Sam,

31:08

what the fuck, man? How

31:12

are you? And will

31:14

is like, oh, and he's

31:17

like, I'm not going to keep having a

31:19

fight with someone. Right. Leave him alone.

31:22

Privacy. Sure. Yeah. But

31:24

then the yelling just continues and will's like,

31:27

Sam's not saying anything. Yeah.

31:29

So will knocks on the door and is like, hey,

31:32

everything okay in there?

31:34

And the voice is like, it's not okay.

31:37

Come in. So

31:42

will comes in is like,

31:44

this room is empty. Right.

31:46

He's like, there's no one here. He's like, this

31:48

is like this

31:51

is an old building. What is going

31:53

on? And she's like, I'm in

31:55

the cupboard. So we'll buy. Oh,

31:58

God.

31:59

Sam, what have you done?

32:02

You've done, yeah.

32:03

So he goes over

32:05

and she's like, open the cupboard. Yeah. He

32:08

opens it and there is just this woman naked

32:10

in one of Sam's jackets.

32:12

And she storms out

32:15

and she is just, she is livid, as

32:17

you would be. Yeah. So

32:19

mad. She spent a night in the cupboard.

32:22

Of course she's mad. Yes, absolutely

32:24

furious. She's pulling her clothes

32:27

on, everything like that. Will is like, I'm

32:29

not really sure what happened. I'm just sorry. Do

32:31

you know, like, I cannot emphasize enough that Will

32:33

is like a very nice person. And he was like, do

32:35

you need me to take you somewhere? Has something happened to you?

32:38

Like, he jumped right. Protective goods. Like,

32:40

I don't care if it's my friend, you tell me. She's like, no, nothing

32:42

happened with your friend.

32:45

Your friend passed out,

32:46

passed

32:47

out of the bed.

32:50

And Will is like, okay.

32:52

But why were you in the cupboard? Yeah.

32:55

And Will is also like, okay, that's bad,

32:58

but like nothing that I, nothing so

33:00

bad has happened. And she's like,

33:03

oh, I'm so mad. She pulls her clothes

33:05

on. She keeps Sam's jacket. She was like, I'm

33:08

taking this with me.

33:08

She like walks

33:11

out. So Will

33:14

then goes to wake up like the other member

33:16

of the group and is like, we have to line Sam.

33:19

So they go downstairs and they find like

33:22

their local cafe with Sam. Couple

33:25

eating his like beans and toast. Just

33:28

scrolling

33:29

his phone, having like

33:31

a big breakfast and Will comes

33:33

in and is like, hey,

33:37

buddy, did you hook up with someone last night? And

33:39

Sam's like, no. Yeah.

33:41

Yeah. Yeah.

33:43

Yeah. No, I

33:45

did. And Will's like, and Sam bring

33:47

her home.

33:50

And Sam says,

33:52

no, no. I didn't. We

33:55

were going to, but then, and then

33:57

just kind of fades out.

33:58

Can you say?

33:59

Hmm. Something

34:02

happened and Will was like, well, if you didn't

34:04

bring her home, who is the person that I just

34:06

let out of your wardrobe?

34:09

And Sam's like, Oh,

34:12

okay, I think I know what happened here. Sam,

34:16

buddy. He's not

34:19

concerned about this at

34:21

all. He's like, Oh, that's funny.

34:24

And Will's like, I don't think she's that funny yet.

34:27

I think she'll be funny in five

34:29

years. But for now, she's pissed.

34:35

So, Will's like,

34:36

you need to get in

34:38

touch with her. You need to apologize.

34:41

Sam's like, I don't have a number. I

34:43

wouldn't know how to do that. Will's like, well,

34:45

I recognize her as someone who works in

34:48

the building that our venue is in. So like,

34:51

could you try and find her? Sam's like,

34:53

I'm sure it's fine. Don't worry about it. Oh

34:55

my God, this dummy.

34:57

Yeah, I mean, I will

34:59

say a thing I think about Sam having

35:02

known him for many years is

35:04

that I do think that the dummy is kind of the best

35:06

way of putting it because like,

35:08

not someone who I think ever intended

35:11

harm. He doesn't seem malicious, right?

35:13

He's not like, Oh, haha, I locked this girl

35:16

in a cupboard. He's like, Oh, that's just a

35:18

funny little thing that happened to us

35:20

while I was asleep. I

35:22

will say a strange

35:22

thing about it, as Will recounted to

35:24

me was that like,

35:26

Sam didn't seem

35:28

hugely surprised by this kind of event,

35:30

right? Which really makes me wonder like, what

35:33

the rest of his dating life was like.

35:37

And like, maybe why that relationship

35:39

had fallen apart before this.

35:41

Yeah,

35:44

I just have so many questions for him.

35:46

Like, the main one is just like, how many things

35:49

are happening happening to you that

35:51

when your

35:52

teammate,

35:53

your co-person comes

35:57

up to you and is like, I've released a

35:59

prisoner.

35:59

from your cupboard,

36:01

you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds right.

36:03

Like

36:04

that checks out, I'm gonna order another coffee

36:06

like it does not. But

36:11

they will have been like, okay, well, I think

36:13

you need to say something. The

36:15

other member of the group, I think is just like head

36:18

down the table like I can't believe we're

36:20

going through it.

36:21

And sounds like yeah,

36:24

if I see her, I'm definitely apologize. Oh

36:26

my God, you're certainly going to see her again because

36:28

you worked at the same place. And

36:31

you're going to be there for a month. So that

36:33

night they get to their venue

36:35

and they're getting ready and they're setting their props

36:37

and

36:37

they're getting everything ready.

36:41

And someone at their venue, one of the

36:43

venue staff comes in and is like,

36:47

I don't know. I

36:50

don't really know how to say this, but there's like

36:52

a girl at the front talking shit

36:54

to the audience

36:56

about to come and see your show.

37:01

And Sam's like, that's weird.

37:04

And Will's like, Sam, do you

37:06

think you might know something

37:07

about? Poor

37:09

Will, he's the parent here. Which

37:11

is awful.

37:13

And so Sam is

37:15

like,

37:16

oh, do you think it might be her? Oh,

37:18

okay.

37:20

Yeah, no shit, bud. So

37:22

Sam's like, oh, we'll just do the show. And the person

37:25

from the venue is like, yeah,

37:27

maybe this is like their tech person who's normally

37:30

in the booth and it's like, I think

37:32

it might be worth going and checking

37:34

out what's that thing. Yeah. Yeah,

37:37

I agree. So originally

37:39

Sam's like, Will, should we go out? Will's like,

37:41

you go, I'm not. No, I'm not

37:44

going out there. Yeah, good

37:46

for him. So Sam goes out. So

37:48

fake Friday had had a day

37:50

off work and had basically, which I think

37:52

is why she'd gone out the night before as well. Right.

37:55

So she goes back to her flatmates and tells

37:57

them the story. They all, to be honest, think

37:59

it's pretty.

37:59

funny, but are also like,

38:02

this guy sucks. She's like,

38:04

he does suck. He does suck. And

38:06

I had a crush on him because I saw him in the show. I

38:08

thought he was so good. But

38:11

she's having some drinks with friends. She's like

38:13

feeling pretty ready to like, you know, and her

38:15

friends like, well, you should go tell him what you think.

38:18

Enablers all of them. I

38:20

love it.

38:20

I mean, I would have done the exact same thing. I really respect

38:23

her flatmates being like, you should tell him. She

38:27

goes to venue and they're like, yeah, sorry,

38:29

we can't. Let you in. They're getting

38:31

ready

38:31

for the show. And she's like, well,

38:33

I really need to talk to him. And

38:36

meanwhile, because of the way the festival works, people

38:38

are just lining up outside the door, weddings, going

38:40

to constant crowds going in and out. And this is a popular

38:43

show and it's well reviewed. So she has a captive

38:45

audience. Absolutely.

38:47

It's like the play before the play. And so what apparently

38:52

happened is someone in the crowd was like, are you okay?

38:55

Miss? Like, what's wrong? And she was

38:57

like, am I okay?

38:58

Yeah, I'm okay now. And

39:00

last night in the wardrobe of this

39:03

guy and just

39:05

tell this assembled crowd

39:07

what

39:08

she's like, Oh, and he passes

39:11

out and then I have to sleep in the water and all

39:13

these people in the crowd are like, Oh my god. And then some of them are like,

39:16

it's part of it. It's part of the show. Like, like,

39:20

and also their show was like very serious. So if

39:22

this was part of it, it would have been like such a weird

39:24

tone. Yeah, truly.

39:27

And so she like tells the crowd and I think she

39:29

works at the venue. So she knows a lot of people

39:31

working there. So they're like,

39:33

you need to go. So she's

39:36

Yeah, I also imagine that if

39:38

you are the staff at this venue,

39:40

you have interacted with this man enough

39:42

to know that like,

39:44

you're he's not the one you want to defend, right?

39:47

Like, you know what, you go off

39:49

and we'll, we'll, we'll just manage him from here.

39:52

We'll simply not see you. Yeah.

39:56

So Sam comes out and she's like,

39:58

that's him.

39:59

who left me in the wardrobe and

40:01

he said, hey, I'm

40:04

so sorry. Yeah, you

40:07

know, I just had too much to drink and fell asleep. And she's like,

40:10

I was in the wardrobe

40:12

all night. And he's like, yeah,

40:15

yeah. And definitely my bad.

40:17

And she's like, why didn't you get me out

40:19

in the morning? He's like, oh, and he says

40:22

in front of the crowd, I forgot you were there. Oh,

40:24

no, this is a

40:26

huge mistake.

40:28

So they he said

40:30

anyway, it was so cool to see you again, would love

40:32

to catch up again, I have to go and do my show

40:35

and he said, she felt

40:36

kind of like

40:39

diffused by the situation,

40:41

but also like, I

40:43

don't know. So

40:45

she leaves and plays the

40:47

show then to the crowd of people

40:50

who know that this guy's a

40:52

girl.

40:55

And they did well with like, it was a weird

40:57

show.

40:58

It was a really, I

41:01

bet

41:01

the like laugh lines in the

41:03

show didn't get anything. And also

41:05

people kept just talking to each other. Because

41:08

everybody in the crowd is looking at this guy being like,

41:10

him, can you believe that?

41:12

I'm trying

41:14

to deliver some beautiful soliloquy. And

41:16

they're like, but how drunk was

41:18

he though? Like, you forgot

41:20

she was in the cupboard. Breakfast

41:23

that badly. So they

41:25

do this show. And basically afterwards,

41:27

Will and the other guy in the show are like,

41:31

man, can you just like lay low for a

41:33

while?

41:34

Like, clearly, you're going through some things

41:36

with this breakup and sounds like, oh,

41:39

it's not because of the breakup. And they were like, let's say it is

41:41

because that's better.

41:43

Yeah, if it's not because of the breakup, don't

41:46

tell people that. Like,

41:49

this is just who I am. Yeah,

41:51

that's way worse.

41:52

Way worse. Yeah. And so

41:55

what essentially happens is Sam agrees, he's

41:57

like, I'm just gonna do the show, I'm gonna lay low, whatever.

42:01

But what happens is that the story

42:03

of this spreads

42:04

rapidly.

42:06

Yeah. I'm performing in a different venue,

42:08

but the venue starts to walk and that's how it

42:10

kind of comes back. And then the way it transmutes

42:13

is eventually that it was me. Right.

42:16

And all this kind of stuff. And so I,

42:19

when I received the story, I was like, this

42:21

is incredible. I'm definitely

42:24

not gonna work out with that. Yeah, yeah.

42:26

I've seen it the heck of my mind. Decision made.

42:29

Yeah. Thank you to Brave

42:31

Take Brighty for like testing the

42:33

waters for me. Yeah, thank you for her service.

42:35

She really went

42:38

to work. I

42:39

mean, she really did. And for a lot

42:41

of us, just kind of Sam did stay in

42:43

for most of that month after that.

42:47

And I did then meet her. So

42:49

I was over at that venue bar

42:51

and I said to someone else like, who is it? Yeah.

42:54

It was her. And I went and chatted her and she was like

42:57

really cool. And she said, look, I'm

42:59

not upset anymore. And she's

43:01

like, but if I had the chance to yell at him in front

43:04

of a crowd of people again, I absolutely would.

43:06

Like, you know,

43:08

totally fine.

43:10

So she's like kind of recovered from it. And

43:13

I saw Sam again at the end of the month at the closing

43:15

party.

43:16

And he did hit

43:17

on me again. Classic. Of course

43:19

he did. And I was like,

43:22

do you wanna lock me in a wardrobe?

43:25

Is

43:25

that like your like thing

43:27

now? And he like laughed

43:30

and he was like, oh,

43:31

crazy times. Oh

43:34

my God. Like, you

43:36

know how these things happen in the everyday courses

43:38

dating?

43:40

No. No,

43:43

I don't. But honestly,

43:45

like everyone out of this story and developed

43:48

kind of

43:49

is now in like so much of a better place in life.

43:52

So

43:55

Sam ended up getting married to someone he met

43:57

not that long after this. Okay, congratulations.

44:00

It was like Wild Times and Will was his best

44:02

man at the wedding. So that's

44:04

really nice. That is really nice. You

44:06

know, their relationship has survived. I don't know about

44:08

the third guy who I didn't know as well, but those

44:11

two have remained closed. And

44:14

then fake Friday, who

44:16

had been like, oh, I want to work in theater,

44:19

went on to be quite a successful producer,

44:21

which I think she's still doing. Great.

44:24

She was pretty young and she was working in a venue

44:27

and it's now like...

44:28

Her understanding

44:31

of audiences, it makes

44:33

sense to me that she could capture

44:36

that in a career. Yeah, I haven't

44:38

followed it that closely, but maybe she's explicitly

44:40

doing

44:40

like, sweet, no more style, immersive

44:43

theater production. That would rule. Yeah,

44:45

that

44:45

would be amazing. I was just

44:47

inspired by this one moment in my life. But

44:51

yeah, and so everyone kind of came out

44:53

of it okay. But this story

44:56

followed me, I think more than

44:58

this other girl,

45:00

literally for years. Yeah,

45:02

because everyone saw you flirt with him the

45:04

first night. And so everyone was like, oh,

45:07

it must be her.

45:08

Yeah. And to the point that like a couple

45:10

of years later at a festival in an

45:13

entirely different country,

45:15

an audience member said,

45:18

oh, I heard from a friend

45:20

who did this festival, like you hooked

45:23

up with the guy from the

45:24

way who

45:26

is like,

45:29

is not like

45:30

famous, but is like

45:32

successful. And one

45:33

rude question. I

45:36

can't

45:39

believe it though, like friend of a friend, Rupert

45:41

Mill betrayed you like this. I know,

45:43

but to be honest, I was like, you know, lift

45:46

by the gossip, die by the gossip. Oh yeah. That's

45:48

gonna be my life. And

45:51

every time I was just like, it wasn't me.

45:54

Well, you don't want to steal valor. That's

45:56

kind of you. Yeah, I mean, she literally

45:58

she tore him apart in front of.

45:59

I can't, that's iconic behavior.

46:02

I can't. Fake Bridie's revenge. She

46:05

got it. But

46:07

yeah, it was like the most recent time I saw Sam

46:09

now must have been like four years ago or

46:11

something. And we ran into each other and I said

46:13

to him,

46:14

this story has dogged me for years.

46:17

And Sam was like,

46:18

but that wasn't even you. And then he paused and went,

46:21

ooh, was it?

46:22

Ah! I was like, oh man.

46:27

I was like, oh man. He

46:30

is a demon. Like I,

46:33

it can accept that he was just

46:35

a demon for a period of time potentially,

46:38

but for that period of time, he was just

46:40

purely demonic. The idea of being like,

46:42

it wasn't you that I locked in a closet. Someone

46:45

I saw every day at multiple

46:47

circuits. Was it? Yeah.

46:51

Weird. Yeah,

46:54

that's it. That's the weird cupboard

46:56

story that has defined

46:59

my life despite not being mine. Well,

47:01

I appreciate you bringing

47:03

it here where this will only get

47:05

worse for you, I'm sure, because everyone will

47:08

remember this. But thank

47:10

you so much for bringing us

47:12

this story. This was a delight. And

47:15

I'm glad that you didn't have to sleep in the cupboard

47:17

because it seems

47:17

very uncomfortable. Thank

47:20

you so much. Thank you for having me. It's

47:22

been so much fun. Thank you.

47:29

Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip. If

47:31

you have a gossip story to share with us, email

47:33

us at normalgossip at the

47:35

factor.com. Or you can

47:37

leave us a voice mail at 2679-GOSSIP. If

47:41

you love this podcast and want us to keep

47:43

making it, become a friend or a friend of

47:45

a friend at supportnormalgossip.com.

47:48

You

47:48

can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok

47:51

at normalgossip. You can follow Kelsey

47:53

on all social media at McKinneyKelsey. This

47:56

podcast was produced by me, Alexa Jung-Loflin.

47:59

Justin Ellis.

47:59

is the Director's Business Editor. Jasper

48:02

Wang and Sean Kuhn are Director's Businessers.

48:05

Tom Le is our Editor-in-Chief.

48:07

Jay Tolviera is our Associate Producer.

48:10

Dan McQuaid runs our merch store, which you can

48:12

find at NormalGossip.store. Para

48:14

Jacobi designed our show art. NormalGossip

48:17

is hosted by Kelsey McKinney. I'm Alex

48:19

Sujung Laughlin, and remember, you did

48:21

not hear this

48:21

from me.

48:36

Thanks for watching!