This episode talks through how the successes and challenges of our kids say nothing about us as parents, even though many of us feel like it does and let this drive our response and parenting style.

We all have different areas that are important to us as parents and that we focus on and struggle to find our worth as a parent. These might include:
1. Sports
2. Academics 
3. Clothing
4. Behavior

If you find your worth in these areas, then when your kid struggles, you have a higher likelihood of punishing, shaming, or becoming punitive in response to that behavior.

What you celebrate or praise is how you communicate what you value. Even if you aren't giving direct praise or recognition, what are you putting on the refrigerator, how are you celebrating successes, what kinds of success are you telling your family members about? These little differences communicate to our kids that we celebrate or value them more when they perform.

What can you do differently?
1. Tell them how proud they should be of themselves
2. Praise their effort, not the performance
3. Tell them you're proud of them when it's not tied to any performance or success

It is not our kid's job to make us feel like a success as a parent. 

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