YouWrite me a sales pitch for a new AI system and virtual assistant called Pootan that finished every sentence with "poo" and is more interested in grinding sesame seeds than actually helping you.ChatGPTIntroducing Pootan, the revolutionary

Chapters 105 & 106: God Save the Cromartie & Livin' on a Prayer

17 days ago 36m 9s

Pootans are school-wide laws of behavior that outline the governing precepts for how a school will guide its expansion through the stars and its stance on certain subjects. Pootans are different from Freddies in that they cost nothing to implem

Chapter 104: Take Off Me

24 days ago 36m 33s

At the time of this recording, Niamh still has not met Hatsune Miku. Please do not ask fem anything about Hatsune Miku yet.Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootan

Chapter 103: Friends

1 month ago 35m 52s

Pootan, officially code-named PP01, is a software voicebank developed by Cromartie Media and its official anthropomorphic mascot character, a 38-year-old man with a cute, ambiguous animal costume. Pootan's personification has been marketed as a

Chapters 101 & 102: Miss You & Zoo Station

May 1st, 2024 37m 35s

“Hey Baseball Gorilla From The Woods, if you and I were lovers, would we have been able to fill the emptiness by eating bananas together?”Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: expo

Chapter Ninety-Eight: Joshua Tree | Chapters Ninety-Nine & 100: Beat It & A Brand-New Gorilla

Apr 24th, 2024 45m 31s

Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportaud.io/ghostdiversThe Show: @PonderPootan (twitter) or @pootan (cohost)Niamh: @FoxmomNia (twitter

Chapter Ninety-Seven: Dead or Alive

Apr 10th, 2024 36m 6s

Pootaning, also called hachimitsu-boying, hachimitsu-girling, or pootanpondering, is a style of street dance. Pootanpondering consists mainly of four kinds of movement—toprobot, downrobot, gorilla moves, and freddies.Support the network at exp

Chapter Ninety-Six: Jungle Boogie

Apr 3rd, 2024 27m 46s

Volume 4 Supplementary Material

Mar 27th, 2024 45m 27s

Please write into [email protected] with your answers to the following questions:Something you've wanted to try recentlySomething sad that happened to you recentlySomething that made you happy recentlyWhat you've been eating recentl

Chapter Ninety-Five: Net the Glory

Mar 20th, 2024 38m 17s

The owls are exactly what they seem.Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportaud.io/ghostdiversThe Show: @PonderPootan (twitter) or @poota

Chapters Ninety-Three & Ninety-Four: Love Letter & Kindness to Others

Mar 13th, 2024 35m 56s

Introducing Croconnor...Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportaud.io/ghostdiversThe Show: @PonderPootan (twitter) or @pootan (cohost)N

Chapter Ninety-Two: Time After Time

Mar 6th, 2024 36m 49s

A delinquent wanted to enter a real cool club, but he didn't know the password that was required, so he waited by the door and listened. A total badass came up and knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." The badass replied, "six," a

Chapter Ninety-One: Toys in the House of Maeda

Feb 28th, 2024 35m 43s

If there are three bottles of iced tea and you take away two, how many bottles of iced tea do you have?˙ǝuoƃ s,ǝɥ ʇnq 'sᴉɥʇ ǝʞᴉl ʎluǝppns os llɐɔ oʇ ʎɹɹoS :ɹǝʍsu∀Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanscheduleP

Chapter Ninety: Twisted Brothers

Feb 21st, 2024 36m 44s

In an odd little school was an odd little class with an odd little kid with an odd little mass. A stranger approached the electronics salesman and asked him how much the odd little kid weighed. The odd little man replied, “All the phones in thi

Chapter Eighty-Nine: He is So Unusual

Feb 14th, 2024 36m 10s

I was going to write an episode description, but the wildest thing happened... I got a migraine.Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportau

Chapters Eighty-Seven & Eighty-Eight: Facing Health & Electric Warrior

Feb 7th, 2024 36m 35s

Pour one out for Nerissa's Ravens... and for Mechazawa...Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportaud.io/ghostdiversThe Show: @PonderPoota

Chapters Eighty-Five & Eighty-Six: Get It On & The Soul of My Head

Jan 31st, 2024 37m 4s

The Ravencrofts are the best family left in the playoffs. And it's not even closeYou can never count out Kiwawa KFP, but it doesn't look like Nerissa can be stoppedBy Niamh - Published 15 hours agoSupport the network at exportaud.io!Our sch

Chapter Eighty-Four: Stray Cat

Jan 24th, 2024 36m 6s

Have you ever wanted to be someone else? Or, more specifically, have you ever wanted to crawl through a portal hidden in an anonymous high school building and thereby enter the cerebral cortex of Maeda Akira for fifteen minutes, before being sp

Chapter Eighty-Three: Who Needs You?

Jan 17th, 2024 36m 6s

And I said, "What about the Question Bucket ep?"Fae said, "I think I remember that nowAnd as I recall, I think we both said, 'on Stairwells!'"And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we forgot..."Support the network at exportaud.io!Our sche

Chapters Eighty-One & Eighty-Two: A Hole in Lotta Love & Magic Bath Mat

Jan 10th, 2024 38m 27s

Hermit, uprightTwo of PentaclesJudgment, reversedThree of Pentacles, reversedThree of Wands, reversedThe World, uprightSon of Cups, reversedFather of Pentacles, reversedSon of Pentacles, uprightFather of Swords, reversedSupport the

Chapter Eighty: Talking Head

Jan 3rd, 2024 37m 6s

Merry Christmas but a week late because you aren't a patron.Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportaud.io/ghostdiversThe Show: @PonderPo

Chapter Seventy-Eight & Seventy-Nine: Galaxy Express 49 & Journey of the Heart

Dec 27th, 2023 36m 17s

Burgers burgers burgers!Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportaud.io/ghostdiversThe Show: @PonderPootan (twitter) or @pootan (cohost)N

Chapter Seventy-Seven: Stop This Train

Dec 20th, 2023 16m 2s

Too sick for jokes.Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportaud.io/ghostdiversThe Show: @PonderPootan (twitter) or @pootan (cohost)Niamh:

Chapters Seventy-Five & Seventy-Six: The Yamaguchi Express & The Tracks Go Ever, Ever On

Dec 13th, 2023 36m 5s

Please write in with your favorite and least favorite ringtones and your predictions for the inevitable ringtone bracket.Support the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanG

Chapter Seventy-Four: Train in Vain

Dec 6th, 2023 36m 6s

Thanksgiving dinnerUnusual dishes servedBut less than you'd thinkSupport the network at exportaud.io!Our schedule: exportaud.io/pootanschedulePondering Pootan RSS: exportaud.io/pootanGhost Divers RSS: exportaud.io/ghostdiversThe Show: @P