0:00

Hi, I'm Jeffrey Craner and my friend

0:02

Cecil Baldwin loves horror movies and he's

0:04

helping make this genre more approachable for

0:06

me and hopefully for you too, one

0:08

film at a time in a random

0:10

order. You squeamish about horror movies? Don't

0:12

worry, we'll tell you what happens. Adore

0:14

horror movies? Great! Watch along

0:16

with us each week. As always, check the show

0:18

notes for content warnings about this week's episode discussion

0:21

and film. This week, we

0:23

randomly rolled a five for animal

0:25

and a four for female director.

0:27

Horror is episode 210. This

0:43

week, on Random Number Generator, horror

0:45

podcast number nine, Cocaine Bear,

0:47

2023. Warning!

0:58

One of my least favorite things about doing

1:00

theater is feedback. I mean,

1:02

having people generally tell you, hey, good job, or I

1:04

like the way you tell stories. I

1:06

mean, that's pretty great. Or at the other

1:08

end of the spectrum, having close friends and

1:11

colleagues give you notes when requested can be

1:13

really helpful. It's almost mandatory to do this

1:15

and I actually enjoy getting that type of

1:17

feedback very much. The feedback

1:19

I don't like is tips or ideas on

1:21

how to do something you just did better,

1:23

which is really rich coming from a guy

1:25

who does a weekly horror movie podcast wherein

1:28

he regularly remarks on how some of these

1:30

movies could have done something better. But

1:32

that's kind of different. This podcast

1:34

is conversation away from the

1:36

artist. I would never invite an artist to

1:39

listen to one of our episodes about their

1:41

film. This is a conversation

1:43

for movie lovers, not feedback for

1:45

movie makers. But people

1:47

regularly say things to me like, I wish Night

1:50

Vale was more of a strict plot or you

1:52

should do episodes without the weather. And

1:54

I'm just not here for that. Like

1:56

when I did theater, the work in progress showing

1:58

was often followed by all. Audience feedback sessions,

2:00

which is maybe the most uncomfortable thing

2:03

you can do as a playwright. Everyone

2:05

knows what they want him. it's almost

2:07

never what the script once, and Hollywood

2:09

notes and feedback are formulaic. Put o'clock

2:11

on it. Give him a love interest.

2:13

What's your theme at Visual transitions between

2:15

scenes. Can there be more young people

2:17

in the story? Any. Keep adding more

2:20

and more to your script. Sometimes that

2:22

works out great if you can balance

2:24

at all, but often it just becomes

2:26

a clusterfuck of devices and troops. Elizabeth

2:28

Banks his third feature film, Cocaine. Bear

2:30

is funny and gross and just jam packed

2:32

with jokes and visual gags. The overarching plot

2:35

is simple and high concept of Baird does

2:37

cocaine goes ape shit but there are so

2:39

many moving parts that get confusing if you

2:41

even stop to think for just a moment.

2:43

It feels like producers got their hands on

2:46

the script and have a lot of feedback.

2:48

A nice story about a mom saving her

2:50

kids, but what if there's a two timing

2:52

top? What if the detective doesn't like tiny

2:55

dogs? What if the drug dealer summers morning,

2:57

a dead wife? What if the daughters and

2:59

to painting. Rocks! I think what if the

3:01

small time gang members were actually led by

3:04

very sensitive boy and so on? thing? I

3:06

stopped have a crush every moment of the

3:08

script. Third stuff: speed bumps along the way

3:10

in the woods. I see so. I

3:13

jeffrey. Are. You. Mountain.

3:16

Guy beat sky city guy or

3:18

ocean guy I guess of this

3:20

person is desert guys. Noom.

3:23

I think if we mounted guy yeah I

3:25

do enjoy the mountains. I live in the

3:28

mountains I live in the backyard of were

3:30

cocaine bear took place Moose this is. This

3:32

is the natural backdrop of what I look

3:34

gets on a regular basis. Yeah. Me

3:36

that the the opening news story

3:39

we see is about Knoxville, Tennessee.

3:42

Rough. Guy

3:46

primarily. I think I've got an A rank. I'm going

3:48

to go City Mountain. Probably.

3:50

beats than ocean yeah i did vacation last year

3:52

to the beach had never done like a for

3:54

street date just go to a resort hang out

3:56

on a beach and i got about a dame

3:59

to happen with like I'm done. Yeah.

4:01

Speech done. Okay, that's great. I want

4:04

a museum now. I would like a

4:06

fancy cocktail bar and a Michelin star

4:08

restaurant for this vacation. Yes, yes. All

4:11

right, so we, we have animal

4:13

and something else that we rolled to get to

4:15

this movie. And I remember they're coming up like

4:17

a slight question of whether or not cocaine bear

4:20

is even a horror movie

4:23

so much as like comedy with

4:25

horror elements. And it's funny, like

4:27

relisting back to our uh,

4:31

oh god, what episode do

4:33

we do? Listening back to

4:35

our Dead Snow episode, which

4:37

is a horror movie with

4:41

comedic elements. This is a

4:43

comedy with horror elements.

4:46

Absolutely. And you know, this movie is

4:48

straight up a comedy, but it is

4:51

gory and violent. There

4:54

are limbs aplenty. There is organs

4:56

squeezing their way out through a

4:59

belly. Full, full shotgun to

5:01

the head. Oh man. Yeah, absolutely.

5:05

So, um, yeah, it's a fun

5:07

and wild sort of ride. I did not, did you

5:09

see this movie already when it was out in the

5:11

theaters? Uh, well, I don't know

5:14

if this movie ever came out in the

5:16

theaters because this was a pandemic movie. Oh,

5:18

like, I don't think no, it came out

5:20

like it was here. Oh,

5:22

was it? Yeah, it definitely was in the theater. Okay.

5:24

No, but then I did not see them in

5:26

the theater because I was not going to movie

5:29

theaters when this movie came out. This is a

5:31

rental for me. Well, let's

5:33

start at the beginning. We've

5:36

got drug dealer Andrew Thornton on his

5:39

plane late at night and

5:41

he is dancing around and

5:43

he is just kicking duffel bags full

5:45

of cocaine overboard out of the plane.

5:48

Cocaine cowboy complete like

5:50

full fat Elvis karate

5:53

moves. You

5:55

know, he is, he is bopping to

5:58

those eighties tunes. Yeah. time.

6:00

The whole gag here is we sort of,

6:02

if you've even seen the trailer to this film,

6:05

you they don't have to spend long setting up

6:07

what's happening. We know from the trailer a drug

6:10

dealer dropped a bunch of cocaine out of

6:12

a plane on a drug drop and a

6:15

bear got it. And so he he's

6:17

about to, he's the last one off of this

6:20

plane, he's gonna jump out of it and he

6:23

knocks himself out on

6:25

the head running into the doorframe and

6:28

then he gonna die because he doesn't have

6:30

a parachute to stop him. And

6:33

this is all based on a true story and I

6:35

think this is the moment in which the true story

6:37

ends. Yes,

6:39

at no point in time does the

6:43

true story actually come to fruition. In fact

6:45

I think the actual true story is drug

6:48

dealer dropped stuff out, drug

6:50

dealer died in the process of falling

6:53

to earth. A bear found

6:55

it, ate the cocaine and

6:57

died. And died.

6:59

That's the whole

7:02

true story. Yep, and I do

7:04

like how Wikipedia which is quoted

7:06

in the opening sequence of this

7:09

movie, the

7:11

bear is affectionately known as Pablo

7:13

Escobar. Or

7:15

Koki the bear. Koki the bear.

7:18

Pablo Escobar. All

7:20

right, Chattahoochee National Forest, Georgia 1985. We've

7:23

got Olaf and Elsa camping and

7:29

hiking, these Norwegian couple. Yeah,

7:32

it's uh, it's cute, sweet, they're about

7:34

to get married. They're having, they're having

7:36

a little, you know, maybe a little

7:38

discussion about who, about the, about

7:41

Olaf's brother's band playing at

7:43

the wedding. Because he sucks

7:45

as a singer. Yep. And

7:48

they're talking about like what would, what would be a

7:50

good name for a child? And she was like if

7:52

it was a boy I'd name him Texas. He's like

7:55

isn't that a state? Yeah, but

7:57

that's cool now, that's really in. Very

7:59

cool. You know,

8:01

we see them cross paths

8:03

with a giant

8:05

bear footprint. We also

8:08

see a bright red bag with

8:10

a rainbow strap hanging from a

8:12

tree. Yes, so 80s. I

8:14

love it. I love that the choice of bags,

8:17

which I guess makes sense if you're doing a

8:19

drug drop, the choice of bags is bright red.

8:21

Yeah, so you can find it in the woods

8:23

later. They get to the top of the hill and

8:26

they see a black bear and they start taking photos

8:28

of it. And then you see a line

8:30

where she was like, first we saw the humpback whales and

8:32

now we see a bear. We have such good

8:35

luck in nature. Yes, we do. For

8:41

now. This bear is bashing

8:43

its head against a tree. Yeah.

8:47

Now, I've never seen a bear on cocaine,

8:50

but I've seen plenty of humans on cocaine

8:52

in my life. And I

8:54

don't think I've ever seen somebody bashing their

8:56

head against things. I mostly just hear about.

8:59

I mostly just hear about like awesome

9:01

conversations that they've had at, you

9:04

know, at 45 RPM on a 33 LP. Yes.

9:07

Yes. Or I hear about

9:10

business ideas. Business ideas are a big one

9:12

for cocaine users. Yeah. This bear is bashing

9:14

its head on a tree. And

9:17

again, horror movie device, we're

9:20

seeing the bear through the viewfinder. This is so

9:22

funny. I love it. And that

9:24

bear is bashing head on the tree

9:26

and then just turns. I

9:28

doubt right. Flow turned. Which

9:30

is, you know, which is honestly that's as

9:33

someone who has encountered bears in the woods,

9:35

that's kind of how it works. Like you

9:37

there is a moment in which you know

9:39

exactly when the bear registers your presence. Yeah.

9:42

Most of the time the bear doesn't give a fuck. No.

9:45

To be honest, unless you're near a bear cub and then you should

9:47

just run the other way because then

9:49

they do give a fuck. But mostly

9:52

bears are like, oh, you, oh, you're

9:54

over there. Okay, whatever. Yeah.

9:57

And that's my cocaine bear. The cocaine bear is.

10:01

It's so funny because we have this issue in horror

10:03

movies all the time which is what

10:05

does the monster want? You know

10:07

what I mean? Like we I've seen like in werewolf movies. I

10:09

think this has come up for me, which is Are

10:12

they using their jaws like as

10:14

a werewolf you using its jaws

10:16

to kill? Somebody

10:20

or are they eating them? Are

10:22

they hungry? Yeah, or is

10:24

it just yeah, is it just pure

10:26

rage? Uh-huh, like just rage You

10:29

know berserker style. Yeah, are they using their

10:32

teeth like Jason would a machete?

10:34

You know and so I get a little confused

10:36

by because I think the bear in this movie

10:38

ultimately is just I don't think I Know it

10:40

is drawn to the smell of cocaine It

10:43

wants more cocaine it loves

10:45

the fucking cocaine and

10:47

so anytime it gets a sense that Cocaine

10:50

is near it goes

10:53

nuts, but it strikes me as odd that

10:55

it like spends any time like Chewing

10:57

people up and spitting out their legs.

11:00

Yes So

11:04

it's a cocaine rage, but it's also like

11:06

just bloodlust that which I guess that's what

11:08

it is That's that's how instead of bears

11:11

bears don't have business plans. They have bloodlust

11:13

I guess when they get up on it

11:15

cocaine Like let me explain my

11:17

bloodlust to you But

11:21

it's more like the I think the horror

11:23

elements of this are they're really funny But

11:26

they're definitely there there's some horror beats in

11:29

this film And it's like you know when

11:31

when Olaf hands the the you know the

11:33

camera to his girlfriend She's like what I don't see anything

11:35

and he's like here

11:38

to hear back and the bear just like

11:40

appears Yeah in the forefront of the camera

11:42

the best so good One

11:45

of my favorite phrases if it's black fight back

11:47

if it's brown lie down When

11:49

people say make yourself bigger than the bear they are

11:52

referring only to the black bear Yeah,

11:54

which is essentially just an oversized

11:57

Rodent you know it's like just a giant raccoon

12:01

Whereas the brown bear, you

12:03

need to convince that brown bear that you are dead. And

12:07

if it's a polar bear, you're just fucked. Yeah,

12:09

yeah, polar bears are huge. And polar

12:11

bears are violent. Like they're very hungry.

12:14

They're very hungry. But

12:17

Elsa takes off running and of course we're

12:19

running down a hill so we're eventually going to

12:21

see an ankle get twisted or broken on a

12:24

rock. Instead

12:27

of attacking Olaf who's twisted his

12:29

ankle, it attacks Elsa.

12:33

And yeah, just

12:36

full on linebacker tackle out of

12:39

bounds into the brush. And

12:41

all we see is a severed leg go

12:43

flying and land in front of Olaf.

12:47

Another horror trope that I love is the like,

12:49

help me, help me is the person laying on

12:51

the ground by some, you

12:53

know, being eaten by an off-screen CGI

12:55

bear or what have you. And

12:58

then the person just goes, and

13:00

then gets pulled back. That's definitely

13:02

a horror movie trope that

13:05

I do enjoy the like, you know, watching

13:07

that person just recede into the distance. And

13:10

we know they are bear food.

13:13

They are. And then we

13:15

get our title card. It's the close up on the

13:17

bear roaring in front of the camera. The

13:21

thing I love about bears are their

13:23

lips. Uh-huh. Their lips are

13:26

so unhinged. I

13:30

mean, they're pretty adorable bears

13:32

are even on cocaine. And I think

13:34

that is the driving force of this

13:36

movie is something that is so big

13:39

and so terrifying and

13:41

yet also so freaking cuddly and

13:43

adorable. So when that

13:45

butterfly goes by and the cocaine bear,

13:47

which clearly has a very limited attention

13:49

span, gets distracted by a butterfly and

13:51

just wants to go play with it,

13:54

I think we know what kind of horror comedy

13:56

we're in at this point. montage

14:00

of 80s TV. The

14:03

Satan. Do you know to drugs? Oh

14:05

man. God, I remember the time. This is

14:07

your brain on drugs, kids. Nancy Reagan and

14:09

Paul Ru- and Pee Wee Herman told us

14:11

not to do drugs. It's

14:13

I'm so interested in, and this

14:16

movie alludes to it, and it's not this

14:18

movie's job to deal with this, but I

14:20

just, my personal

14:22

taste wanted more of the relationship between

14:24

the Just Say No to campaign, Just

14:26

Say No campaigns and the Nixon administration,

14:28

right? Like the- Yeah. Because

14:31

they even- You want more politics? Or Nixon or

14:34

Reagan? No, Nixon, because they bring up Nixon late

14:36

in this movie when Bob, the detective, tells

14:39

the, when he has the drug

14:41

dealer boys at gunpoint, he

14:43

was like, oh, you're going to prison for a long

14:45

time. Nixon's war

14:47

on drugs is going to fuck y'all. And

14:50

you know, and it's really interesting. It's kind

14:53

of a very smart little comment that Elizabeth

14:55

Banks has in this movie about what

14:58

is our war on drugs, exactly. And

15:00

history will tell you that the war on

15:03

drugs is a way to oppress political opposition

15:05

to Nixon, right? It was a way to

15:07

oppress hippies and black people. That's essentially it.

15:10

And- But this movie doesn't really

15:12

have a message beyond just that

15:14

tiny little Easter egg. Its

15:16

message is, cocaine is hilarious. Yes.

15:19

It's a very long graph. But

15:22

we get this footage, which seems very

15:24

real footage to me. I'm guessing this is

15:26

100%. Yeah, it's Tom Brokaw or something, right?

15:28

Yeah, it's Tom Brokaw giving a story about

15:31

in Knoxville, Tennessee, where 1985, a dead parachutist

15:35

and 70 pounds

15:37

of cocaine were found on

15:40

a Knoxville man's lawn. And

15:44

his chute didn't open, failed

15:47

to open, and they believe

15:49

that there's more cocaine to

15:52

be found somewhere. Yes. It's

15:56

like an Easter egg hunt. Yeah. Or

15:59

cocaine. That's what we used to do in the designer

16:16

draw. They're like,

16:18

ooh, this cocaine is like a light

16:20

lapis azuli. Is that word? Is that

16:22

how you say that word? Sure. That

16:25

sounds right. I don't know. Did

16:28

I make that up? I got

16:30

very excited when I saw Isaiah

16:32

Whitlock Jr. who plays Detective Bob

16:34

because this is, he

16:37

is from The Wire. He is

16:39

the one who had the amazing catchphrase, she.

16:43

Oh my gosh. Every

16:46

variation of a drawn out shit was

16:48

great. So we've got

16:50

him and his deputy reba. And

16:56

Bob's going to set up that Thornton, the

16:58

dead drug dealer, was one

17:00

of St. Louis drug kingpin Sid

17:02

White's crew. Sid

17:04

White played by Ray Liotta.

17:09

I believe in his final film role because we see

17:11

a tribute to him at the end. And

17:15

Bob is, he's like, I'm going to, this

17:17

is a new case. I'm going to investigate

17:19

what happened to this cocaine. We've got to

17:21

catch Sid White. We've got to get this

17:23

cocaine. We've got to protect America. And

17:26

then it goes down this weird path of this

17:29

dog. He's got a little tiny Maltese,

17:33

a little white purse dog, a little bow in

17:35

its hair. And it's

17:38

apparent he is very embarrassed about this dog.

17:41

Yeah. It also is confusing that like he,

17:44

there's a brief scene where he calls the

17:46

shelter and it's like, hey, I

17:48

was supposed to get like a Labrador, but

17:50

you sent me this dog. And

17:52

I have adopted cats

17:55

and dogs a few times in my

17:57

lifetime. And I've never had it work out to where I.

18:00

called them and said, send me a dog. And

18:02

then it's just like a box

18:05

of blue apron, right? Like you don't know what you're going

18:07

to get. Stitch fix, but for

18:09

dogs. So

18:12

I was just sort of confused as to like, how

18:14

does the shelter work? That they do they mail you

18:16

the dog and you don't know what

18:18

dog you're going to get? Is that

18:20

how dogs work? I guess. You're

18:23

just like knock, knock, knock. A FedEx package

18:25

with a dog inside. I said in my

18:27

intro that, you know, this, this movie feels

18:29

like a bunch of notes. But

18:32

I think actually now that I'm sort of thinking

18:34

about it, another explanation is this movie

18:36

is a straight up comedy and the

18:38

thing about comedians you're trying to follow.

18:41

You're trying to jam pack it with

18:43

as many jokes as possible. And

18:45

this particular joke, there's a lot of these in here

18:47

where I'm like, this doesn't

18:49

land because it just

18:52

doesn't make any sense to me. Like

18:54

it's not observing anything that would normally

18:56

ever happen. All right. So

18:58

now we're going to meet David.

19:02

Yes. Great casting in this

19:04

movie. O'Shea Jackson Jr. as David,

19:06

Ice Cube's son. Um,

19:09

because I immediately looked at him and

19:11

I'm like, that man looks just like

19:13

Ice Cube. I know. Right. Um,

19:18

so he's meeting Sid White at

19:21

a mall food court because it's 85. Yeah. Sid

19:25

White says there's a, there's an area

19:27

called blood mountain in Georgia. That's where

19:30

the cocaine was let off. You got to go get

19:32

that shit. Take my son, Eddie with you.

19:35

And see, this is the

19:37

part where you're like, you thought some of the funny

19:39

bits didn't land. This is the part where I was

19:41

like, what? What?

19:43

Listen, like, uh, I

19:45

love this actor, uh, Alden

19:47

Eric, Iron, Iron, Iron

19:50

Rick. Um, great,

19:52

great actor. But, and

19:54

he does an amazing job at this, but

19:56

I was like, what is this backstory? It's

19:58

like his wife has died. leaving him

20:00

with the son and he

20:03

wanted to get out of the family

20:05

business of doing to do dealing

20:07

the drugs, dealing those drugs.

20:09

But he's like in mourning

20:13

and can't take care of his kids so he's dropped

20:15

his kid off with like super

20:17

creepy grandpa Ray Liotta

20:20

and he's like yeah just

20:22

you know take Eddie with

20:25

you because you know he needs something to

20:27

take his mind off the grief of his

20:29

dead wife. I was like

20:31

what is what huh? Yeah and he's

20:33

like and hey also Eddie got out

20:35

of the business because he wanted to

20:37

spend more time with his wife while

20:39

his wife's dead now so. He probably

20:41

wants to get plenty of time for

20:43

the family business. There's also when David

20:45

goes to get Eddie at the bar,

20:47

Eddie's like drinking his sorrows away. Eddie

20:50

had gotten Eddie

20:52

had gotten a tattoo with a heart with Jones

20:54

name on it but it says John instead of

20:56

Jones so now he's bemoaning the fact that the

20:58

tattoo artist misspelled it. So we've

21:00

got a cop with a fem with like a sweet

21:04

yeah very fancy girly

21:06

dog and we've got a

21:08

drug dealer with the

21:10

name John tattooed on his chest.

21:13

Like I think it's pretty clear like we're not

21:15

exactly punching down here but it's definitely

21:18

in the realm of like oh oh

21:21

gender roles are funny. Uh-huh. Oh

21:23

you're man with a man's name.

21:25

Uh-oh. Yeah. Oh that's so silly

21:28

but I it's it's you know we

21:30

don't really dwell on it. It's

21:33

just it's just like a side gag.

21:35

Yeah. Alright so in

21:38

our constant

21:41

goal to cram pack this

21:43

with four dozen characters now we meet

21:45

Sarri and her daughter Dee Dee. Yep.

21:48

This is Carrie Russell. Oh my god

21:51

she's the best. She's so good. I'm

21:53

not even gonna really get into the backstory of what

21:55

their relationship is. This is kind of like this feels

21:57

like the main characters of a story. that

22:00

get fully lost. Like, Carrie

22:03

Russell is to cocaine bear what musical

22:05

theater is to La La Land. Like,

22:07

it starts with it. But

22:09

then about halfway through the movie, you're like, what happened

22:11

to all the musical numbers? And this

22:13

one, halfway through this movie, I'm like, where's Sarah?

22:16

Like, where's Carrie Russell and her daughter? Like,

22:18

uh, like, where's the story?

22:21

And we only get like little 30-second snippets of

22:23

them along the way. And

22:25

a lot of voiceover, I've noticed, especially like

22:27

later on in the movie, it's just like

22:29

beautiful shots of the Chattahoochee

22:31

River and the Blue Ridge Mountains. And

22:33

then Carrie Russell's voiceover comes in and

22:36

be like, we've got to find her.

22:38

She's leaving clues. Look, let's follow

22:40

these clues. And

22:44

I'm not saying I'm mad about spending any time with

22:46

like O'Shea Jackson Jr. or

22:48

whoever, because they're... He's

22:51

great. I really like, I really like all of the

22:53

characters and actors in this movie. So,

22:57

Dee Dee is

23:00

supposed to be going to school that day.

23:04

She bails on school with her

23:06

friend Henry. What

23:09

are these kids? Like, nine? Yeah,

23:11

so, I should just say these. She's

23:14

13. 13? Okay. Henry seems younger. He's

23:17

a bit. He's tiny. And

23:19

so they're bailing on two

23:22

guys who don't have kids. I'm like, how old is this kid?

23:25

She's like, I don't know. No, I think she's 16. All

23:28

right. Can she make a martini? I don't know. So

23:31

they, they're going

23:33

hiking into the woods, which we

23:35

know is a bad idea. No,

23:37

unsupervised children in the woods. And

23:41

they find a brick of cocaine

23:44

in a bush. And

23:46

then they decide, well, how

23:48

do you do cocaine? Let's find

23:51

out. And

23:53

of course, Henry's like, well, normally when I

23:55

do it on the streets with

23:58

my friends. Uh,

24:02

we just, oh, this is very different

24:04

than the cocaine I do on the

24:06

streets with my friend. Uh-huh. And

24:08

TV's like, oh yeah, here, show me. They

24:13

decide that how you're supposed to consume

24:15

cocaine is you're supposed to just eat

24:17

it. Like

24:19

a spoonful of sugar. That's it.

24:22

Helps the cocaine go down. Which

24:25

they both put a

24:27

heaping tablespoon of cocaine into their

24:30

mouth. And then

24:32

spit it out immediately. Ooh,

24:34

makes your mouth so numb. I

24:38

don't know, I've never done cocaine before.

24:41

I do know that anything

24:44

that goes in your mouth, I have

24:46

eaten a heaping tablespoon full

24:48

of instant coffee before and I did not

24:50

sleep for weeks. Because

24:53

that shit goes right into your bloodstream,

24:55

which is a very different effect than

24:57

digesting something. And I feel

24:59

like with cocaine, if you snort it,

25:02

there's a lot of instant access to the

25:04

bloodstream that the cocaine has in your nasal.

25:06

Yeah, these membranes, all that. Yeah.

25:09

They don't really do much with the kids being

25:11

on coke. I know that they spit most of

25:13

it out, but I'm like, that's a lot of

25:16

cocaine to coat your mouth with cocaine. There's

25:18

a moment where the gag is like, these kids are

25:20

like jacked up on jiggly juice. But

25:25

it is a short-lived moment because cocaine

25:27

bear shows up. Yes. And it sneezes

25:29

cocaine all over them. Oh my goodness.

25:31

I kind of wish that they had

25:33

like, that there was like the jaws

25:36

soundtrack and kind of kicked in when

25:39

cocaine bear is like on the loose

25:41

in the area. Yeah, we

25:43

get little things where like, oh, they had brought

25:45

along snacks. One of it was like

25:47

a Ziploc bag full of carrots. And

25:50

so they had left the carrot city on top of

25:52

a thing and you just see the bear's paw like

25:54

grab the carrot. Yeah.

25:57

So kids are got and got. Now

26:02

we're going to meet Park Ranger

26:04

Liz and the

26:06

guy she's interested in, Peter.

26:10

So she's the Park Ranger.

26:12

Peter is a wildlife activist?

26:15

Sure. Played

26:18

by Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Yup.

26:21

And Park Ranger is Margot Martindale, who

26:23

is definitely of the like, that actress.

26:27

You know, like she's in like August

26:29

Osage County, but then also in like

26:31

some TV movie of the week. And

26:33

then also in, like, wasn't

26:35

she in Hereditary as well, I think?

26:38

I think that was her. But

26:41

like, she is that actress where

26:43

she's like, she's funny, she's dramatic,

26:45

she's character actor, supreme. Yes. And

26:48

gay men adore her. She's absolutely

26:50

incredible. So it's

26:53

all this like, me cute thing where

26:55

she's trying to get ready to... She's

26:57

got her nails painted, she's

27:00

putting on perfume. In

27:02

the process of all of this we meet, I

27:05

saw in the credit they list him as Stash,

27:07

but I was just calling him Blondie throughout this.

27:10

Okay. Oh no wait, this isn't Blondie, this

27:12

is Skinny. Oh yeah, yeah. This is the Skinny guy.

27:15

These fucking, what

27:17

do they call them? The Dude Shamps? Yes.

27:20

They are avant-garde

27:23

visual artists skateboarding

27:26

gang in the woods. Sure. Yeah.

27:30

Okay. They're just teenagers

27:32

who enjoy petty

27:35

theft and menacing people with

27:37

butterfly knives in the

27:39

park. The butterfly knife is an

27:41

incredible 80s thing. Like, I don't think I've seen

27:44

a butterfly knife in a movie outside of the

27:46

1980s. Oh, those

27:48

are nunchucks. Oh, geez, my dexterity of

27:50

flipping that shit around. I

27:53

wanted to be awesome at butterfly knife when I

27:55

was a kid. Yeah. I was like,

27:57

oh man, can you imagine all the...

28:00

I would have if I could do a butterfly knife. Oh,

28:02

yeah, just be like Here

28:05

let me get that for you we've got

28:08

sherry showing up at the

28:11

visitor center Trying to get

28:13

the park ranger Liz To

28:15

be like can you help me? The school

28:18

called me and said my daughter never showed up and

28:20

I can tell that she went out for a hike

28:22

on this Yeah, you know, where is

28:24

blood Mountain? They're like you're standing on it This all

28:26

is blood Mountain, but she loves this

28:28

one waterfall. Is there a waterfall around here?

28:30

She loves to paint this waterfall the

28:33

comedy here is that you've got this You've

28:37

got the jokes during the straight man Liz

28:39

and Peter are the jokester Sorry is the

28:41

stream. Sorry. Sorry has sorry. Sorry. I don't

28:43

think they ever say her name It's just sari in the

28:45

credits, but she is Carrie Russell

28:48

is absolutely like I want to find

28:50

my daughter And

28:52

the other two were like, oh my god.

28:54

Look at this love chasing butterflies up the

28:56

hill well, and it's clear that like park

28:59

ranger Liz is like looking forward to the

29:01

arrival of Jesse Tyler

29:03

Ferguson's Peter as a like she

29:09

Oh my god the best gag in the entire

29:11

movie and pound for pound that is kind of

29:13

a cutaway gag but Peter

29:15

says oh looks like you got a dusty beaver there

29:19

I'm working on that We get

29:21

into a lot of this like You

29:23

know, they find the discarded carrots. So

29:26

Carrie ruffles very much like oh shit

29:28

This this is definitely the snack Dee

29:30

Dee would have taken. Yes, and Jesse

29:32

Tyler Ferguson's all like, oh,

29:34

this is littering Some

29:36

bear is gonna eat that some wild this might

29:38

injure the wildlife to

29:40

eat a carrot What to eat

29:43

the plastic they eat the plastic bag Then

29:45

they hear Henry calling for help and

29:47

they see that he has climbed up

29:49

a very tall tree. I Think

29:52

the implication here is is that cocaine gives

29:55

you super strength? Yes, and We'll

29:59

see Peter in a second fall into

30:01

a big batch of cocaine and then suddenly

30:03

have the power to pull himself up a

30:05

tree. To climb up like a 60-foot tall

30:07

tree, yes. Now we've

30:09

got cocaine bear on the loose after these people.

30:12

And Henry it's like there's something wrong with this bear.

30:14

It's not just a normal bear. It

30:17

is a cocaine bear. It is. Yeah

30:19

it's the, you know, Peter

30:22

shouting. It's like no bears are very peaceful

30:24

creatures. You must have done something to it.

30:27

Again, great horror movie device where we

30:29

see deer, a deer standing

30:31

in the background just chewing away on some plant,

30:34

blah blah blah, and then the deer suddenly like

30:36

goes upright and hauls ass

30:38

away. Uh-oh. And

30:41

that's when the bear

30:43

attacks Peter,

30:47

then attacks Liz,

30:49

and this is where we realized

30:51

Liz with her gun has zero

30:53

training with firearm safety. She does

30:55

more damage in this movie than

30:58

this bear does. I am

31:00

not, I am not a

31:02

fan of guns but knowing that they exist, I

31:05

just would strongly encourage anyone who's going to

31:07

ever have a gun to go through very

31:10

intense gun safety, especially if

31:13

you are any kind of officer of the piece.

31:16

Like she's just shooting it wildly into

31:18

the woods. She doesn't even see the

31:20

bear. Peter is like in

31:23

her line of fire and he's like, why are you

31:25

shooting at me? And she's just, she's like, get down.

31:27

I'm just shooting at these ferns.

31:30

Which, okay.

31:32

Comedy. That's the thing about

31:34

comedy is that like, like if

31:36

you stop to think about it, oftentimes

31:38

the ephemeral nature of comedy is sort

31:40

of lost. Yeah. So you're like, so

31:42

you have these amazing actors, these amazing

31:44

comedic actors doing this scene that is

31:46

kind of ratcheted up

31:48

by the ridiculous. Yeah. But I think that

31:50

was what you were saying in your intro

31:52

is that like, shush, shush, shush, shush, shush,

31:54

don't, no, no, no, no thoughts.

31:57

Yeah. No thoughts. Don't think. I

32:00

love the appeal of this movie and I think

32:03

it's really fun and you know I don't I

32:05

don't think it's doing this movie justice to watch

32:08

it alone. You

32:10

know just being like alright and

32:12

for an assignment to talk about it critically to

32:14

talk about the film so you know take what

32:17

I say about this movie like there's probably a

32:19

lot of people absolutely love this movie and so

32:21

I'm not here to be like no you like

32:23

a dumb movie that's not it at all this

32:25

movie's fun as shit. I really

32:28

enjoyed my time watching this movie but I

32:30

did have this feeling of like I think

32:33

this would have been a really amazing

32:35

cartoon because it's sensibilities are very cartoon

32:37

like. Yes. And my

32:40

my sense of comedy is I like

32:43

I love gags right like writing night

32:45

veil it's jam packed full of jokes

32:47

that make no fucking sense whatsoever like

32:50

that's the sensibility of my humor so

32:53

I do sort of get that that vibe but I think

32:55

there's something in the. There's

32:57

a little bit of honesty that has to happen

32:59

in my mind for what's going

33:02

on in this this park ranger character

33:04

is so bonkers the

33:07

way she fires this gun I'm like I

33:09

don't know if I'm finding this hilarious or

33:11

offensive and yeah it's

33:14

a lot. But she leaves them she

33:16

gets like she gets kind of mauled by the

33:18

bear like the bear kind

33:21

of attacks her hindquarters and

33:24

kind of just like I'm going to run

33:26

and get help goodbye. Henry

33:29

I'm sorry Peter gets

33:31

away from the bear and climbs up

33:34

the tree next to Henry so

33:36

they're both 60 feet in the air. But

33:39

not before face planting into another

33:41

pile of cocaine so now we've sort

33:43

of everybody's on the same page you

33:46

know we can believe the kids that cocaine bear

33:49

is in fact on cocaine. Yeah, you

33:51

know, and so he's he and Henry and these trees

33:53

next to each other, talking and

33:56

and Henry's like well thank

33:58

God bears can't climb. trees. Oh

34:01

no. Oh kiddo. He's

34:04

like yes they can and that bear is coming

34:08

after Henry to start and

34:10

uh you know of course you know uh

34:14

Kerry Russell's on the ground like Henry you're gonna have to

34:16

jump like you've got to get away from that bear. The

34:18

bear at the last second smells

34:20

the cocaine covering Peter's body leaps

34:24

across to that other tree,

34:26

fucking gnaws his leg off. I

34:29

love it. I love it

34:31

and then does a line of cocaine off of

34:33

his leg. So

34:39

too. I loved the as it's

34:42

like devouring his leg he's hanging upside down

34:44

we don't actually see it gnawing his leg

34:46

off but we just see Jesse Tyler Ferguson

34:48

hanging upside down screaming as like blood is

34:50

pouring down or up his

34:53

shirt upside down and then we see the

34:55

base of the tree and then we just

34:57

see his body go thump from

34:59

off screen. Like the leg falls his body

35:01

falls we're like oh no more

35:04

we're gonna we're gonna keep like quite a quite

35:06

a large body count for this movie which is

35:08

why I think it does kind of deserve its

35:11

sort of horror comedy comedy horror stripes

35:15

because man a lot of people are gonna die

35:17

uh-huh all of them from cocaine bear. Peter's

35:20

done. I like uh Henry's comment later when

35:22

you know he gets off of that tree

35:25

and runs away with Kerry Russell. He's

35:28

got this very like precocious way of saying he

35:31

was like um that's

35:33

something I probably should have never seen and

35:35

hope to never remember. But it

35:37

seems like something a man remembers for the

35:39

rest of his life. He's also this like

35:42

very very funny sort of southern accent coming

35:44

out of this very small child. It's

35:47

like Forrest Gump-esque. Yes. Okay

35:50

so let's talk about David and Eddie driving

35:53

from St. Louis to Georgia

35:55

Listening to All the Wings of Love by

35:58

Jeffrey Osborne, one of my. For

36:00

it, eighty's good one. Ballads

36:02

of all time. I am.

36:06

Etti is crying a seasonal. His dead

36:08

wife Joan loved the song and the

36:10

said he says Jones said that Jeffrey

36:12

Osborne's sang with the soul of a

36:14

one thousand year old man and I

36:17

laughed. very part of that lie words.

36:19

It's it's all funny. Or

36:22

yeah, that's the issue that the him of

36:24

this movie is like that. That's the issue

36:26

at hand with Divvied and Etti, right? Like

36:28

we know their friends and that the video

36:30

feed doesn't know what to do with Eddie's

36:32

stats. He doesn't know what to

36:35

do with his sorrow, he just trying to

36:37

do his job and ignore his friends. And

36:41

and seven twenty questions. Which.

36:43

To Be doesn't seem to understand how to

36:45

play twenty questions and have to be a

36:48

running gag. Yes, throughout the film, Okay,

36:52

so they arrive at Blood Mountain

36:54

and when they stop at the

36:56

visitor center which has a closed

36:58

sign up because of park ranger

37:00

lives or whatever debate, steps into

37:02

the bathroom. Door. This fourteen

37:04

hour car ride and I'm he

37:07

has accosted by the trio of

37:09

the do champs. Ah ha and

37:11

they fit their their butterfly swanson

37:13

France or far have we got

37:16

a nice must of necessity of.

37:19

And of eat as nonplussed.

37:21

Ah, And he goes

37:23

like this is actually this is a

37:25

great comedy violence like he takes these

37:28

three guys down in like. Five.

37:30

Minutes I It's got the classic set

37:32

up of you have three against one

37:34

so the best guy if there's three

37:37

of us. he saw more fighting one

37:39

person. I go first. Then.

37:41

You go than are other to back and

37:43

watch. Yes yeah and the how you do

37:45

the out melt the three of us cannot

37:47

attack him out what know. Oh.

37:51

Ah we get a lot of like

37:53

using the skateboard. smack people in the

37:55

head. ah I'm. all of

37:57

these men are dead by the way like they are

37:59

they not instead the movie but I'm like if

38:01

this were a real fight they're dead. They're

38:03

concussed as fuck. You take a you

38:06

take a skate if you've ever felt

38:08

the weight and the heft

38:10

of a skateboard and you imagine that going

38:12

into your head swung by a person the

38:14

way you swing a baseball bat you

38:17

are not recovering from that. Or

38:20

a sink. Like a porcelain

38:22

sink. They get quite a bit

38:24

of that. But they see that

38:26

Blondie's got one of their bricks

38:28

of cocaine. So now they're

38:32

going to interrogate him.

38:34

Yeah like listen you

38:38

got to show us where this is.

38:40

This is way bigger than you. So

38:43

they get my gun. Get my gun from the car.

38:45

That's right. All we know

38:47

is he stashed it. Blondie tells them

38:49

I stashed it in a

38:51

gazebo. We're going to go back and get it all later.

38:55

My dude it was like two duffel bags. Like you could

38:58

have gotten that out of there. I know. I

39:01

don't understand why you stashed it in

39:03

a gazebo. Yeah. To pick up a

39:05

lollipop. Like what do you want? Yeah.

39:07

Like to steal money from the donation

39:09

box. Which had maybe eighteen dollars in

39:11

it. And tops. Yeah. Yeah. So

39:14

now we've got Eddie, David

39:17

and Blondie trekking

39:19

through the woods. Hiking up the same. Hiking

39:21

up the same trail. And I'm

39:23

so confused by Blondie's character.

39:26

Just the idea that like I'm

39:30

a disaffected teenage

39:33

violence maker who steals things and is bad.

39:35

But then like as he's talking it's just

39:37

kind of has this like blithe

39:41

21st century therapyed

39:43

up spirit. Do you know

39:45

what I mean? Like there's a

39:47

there's a very like Gen Z vibe to

39:50

him. Which I understand we're doing teenagers in

39:52

2023. Even though it takes place in 1985.

39:54

I felt that a lot as well. Not

39:56

just in

39:58

the teenagers but just sort of. throughout, like

40:00

the way the comedy is written is

40:02

so 2020s. Yes.

40:05

That like a lot of what they were saying, I was like, this

40:08

is 1985. I don't

40:10

know if this conference, what is going on here?

40:13

I mean, like, sure, we put Kerry

40:15

Russell in like a hot pink jogger

40:17

jumpsuit. Totally. And we just assumed

40:19

and like, you know, you know,

40:21

somebody in some blue mascara and we're like 80s. Yes.

40:24

But the way they talk is like

40:27

the like not 80s. Yes.

40:30

I don't know. I felt they could have peppered in a little more

40:32

like radical awesome dude, you

40:34

know, like like the language, but

40:36

it's I mean, it's a it's

40:40

definitely got like UCB sketch

40:43

comedy situational comedy,

40:45

which is, you know, it's

40:49

got that sort of vibe. Yeah. I

40:51

think the thing is is that all of

40:54

these characters and all these devices are piling

40:56

on each other and not everything is connecting.

40:59

And so it's such a clusterfuck of jokes.

41:01

And one of the jokes is that this

41:04

we learned that this isn't just like violent

41:08

disaffected youth. This is a

41:11

very complicated kid, but we

41:14

don't quite tie in how

41:16

the complexity like it's just it just forces

41:18

us to deal with like the disparate nature

41:21

of the way he talks versus the way

41:23

he behaves. But the movie does not have

41:25

time to give us any more information than

41:27

those two qualities in him. All

41:30

right. So now they're heading

41:33

up the mountain with with this kid and it

41:35

it's clear that Eddie sorrowful

41:38

Eddie and Blondie are kind

41:40

of connecting on a level

41:42

because Blondie is kind

41:44

of saying this like very 21st century

41:47

therapy dot type of thing about listening

41:49

to people about being heard about feeling

41:51

your pain about all of these things.

41:53

Animal animals can listen, but only humans

41:55

can hear. Yeah. Like,

41:58

oh. Okay,

42:01

it's very funny. We have a joke in the we

42:03

had a joke in the touring nightville live show We

42:05

just did of the attic where

42:07

Cecil makes a reference to Eugene

42:10

Eugene the iguana who's his therapist who he

42:13

sees at Petco and just talks to him

42:15

because I mean he really knows how To

42:17

listen. Yeah, and then I here's this just

42:19

sitting right here in the same I know

42:22

talking about lizards being great listeners and like

42:24

see it's it's like 21st century Sensibilities

42:27

but like set in a period piece

42:31

It's silly. Let's get to

42:33

back to the visitor center because

42:35

yes. Oh, yeah, here we go

42:38

Violent set piece. Here we go. Now

42:40

we're back into our like berserker cocaine

42:42

bear horror thriller Liz

42:46

Who's been mauled by the bear but survives

42:48

and just is carrying this gun Just waving

42:50

it around as she runs and she gets

42:52

back to this visitor center with

42:55

her like 45

42:57

like this is a revolver. Yeah.

42:59

Yeah, this is like a dirty hairy gun

43:03

Like this is a hand cannon. Yeah, this is not a

43:05

gun. I mean it is a

43:07

gun, but it's like a massive gun. Uh-huh So,

43:12

yeah, she gets back to the office

43:14

and the other two do champ boys

43:16

are there they

43:18

are Wanting

43:21

she's wanting to call for the

43:24

police and medical services and they are

43:26

too because both

43:28

parties have been mauled but these two

43:30

boys were mauled by Devied

43:33

she was mauled by a bear and they think they're

43:35

talking about the same. I love it.

43:38

Yeah, comedy and then

43:42

They hear something at the door

43:45

and so she's like

43:48

Tells one of the boys on three

43:50

you crack that door open and she's got her

43:52

gun drawn And when he does

43:54

crack that door open there is coked up

43:56

bear sitting on the front porch

44:00

like not even in attack mode. Just

44:02

like fully sitting on its haunches. Uh-huh.

44:04

Being adorable. And

44:06

she shoots. Stunningly

44:10

misfires and shoots

44:12

it right through the third Duchamp

44:14

brother's head. Like right there in

44:16

space. See the hole through his,

44:18

his noggin. Unbelievable.

44:22

And then his friend is completely, his face is

44:24

completely exploded in blood. Like it is a Warner

44:27

Brothers cartoon. And I think she says like, I'm

44:29

sorry. Or like, she's trying to, she's like, I'm

44:31

sorry. You shot his head up. She's like, I'm

44:33

so sorry. No

44:36

take backs. But that bear,

44:38

but that seems to trigger the bear because

44:40

now the bear, now the bear is on

44:42

like attack mode or at least hunt mode,

44:44

I guess. Menace. Let's

44:46

set to menace. Yeah. The bear

44:48

is absolutely in full. Like the

44:50

bear has been sparked back

44:53

to life. This bear has like two settings

44:55

of just dopey drowsy. Yeah. And

44:57

ready to fucking fight. It

44:59

goes from dopey drowsy to ready to fucking fight. But

45:03

we're going to take a break from them. Cause

45:06

we're going to talk about Bob who's made it

45:08

to blood mountain. And he,

45:10

Bob, the detective has seen the pickup truck with

45:13

the Missouri plates on it. Yeah. Which

45:15

David and Eddie came in on,

45:17

and then, uh, he's

45:20

going to head out into the woods to go

45:22

try and figure out what's happening. But

45:25

then the ambulance

45:27

arrives and these two,

45:30

these two paramedics get

45:33

inside the visitor center and they

45:36

just see blood and carnage

45:39

everywhere. One of them was like,

45:42

I thought you said they called in a concussion. He's

45:44

like, they did. I love

45:47

this. I love this gag with the, uh,

45:49

the stethoscope, like ratcheting up the suspense, the,

45:51

the thriller suspense. So you've got, um,

45:54

the kind of the, the, the guy

45:56

paramedic is like inching

45:58

his way toward the. closed

46:00

door that we of course know

46:02

contains cocaine bear. And,

46:04

and, you know, Ranger Liz is, you know,

46:06

just beside herself on the ground. And,

46:09

you know, the female paramedic is trying to like, you

46:11

know, get her heartbeat and we can

46:13

hear her heartbeat accelerate, that she drags

46:15

into her mouth and just goes, bear.

46:22

Amazing. Like, and that's where I'm like,

46:24

fuck you, Elizabeth Banks, you're too goddamn

46:26

talented. Like, like that whole

46:28

sequence is everything I want out of

46:30

a horror comedy. Yes. The

46:33

action sequence, I think this is the big

46:35

set piece here. This is so stupid and

46:37

funny. It's like, you know,

46:39

I said earlier, like I would have loved to have

46:41

seen this as a cartoon, but this is one of

46:43

the most effective, like cartoonishly

46:46

live action movies I've ever seen. Yes.

46:49

And so first,

46:52

so they're scrambling to get out, but before they

46:55

realize what's happening, it's

46:57

when the male paramedic opens the door to

47:00

like the broom closet because he hears something

47:02

in there. And the first

47:04

thing that happens is a bucket

47:06

falls down with the other Duchamp

47:08

boys head in it. Yeah. Yeah.

47:11

At this bear

47:13

said all of this up. Yeah.

47:16

Uh huh. The

47:18

bear like knocks the door off

47:20

his hinges and lands on top of him.

47:22

He uses a

47:25

stray bag of cocaine that he grabs off

47:27

the ground to distract the bear. Well, no,

47:29

I think the bear sees the paramedic bags

47:31

that are also red and it's like, Oh,

47:33

there must be cocaine in that bag. And

47:36

that kind of distracts them long

47:38

enough. You know, meanwhile, you know,

47:40

the paramedics got the, you know, we've

47:42

got Ranger Liz and she's all strapped

47:44

in and he's like

47:46

drive, drive. Like it's, it's very,

47:49

you know, action comedy. Yes. But

47:51

sure enough, that bear is pissed that

47:53

it is given a decoy. Yes. And

47:56

this bear is chasing

47:58

this, this like Ambulance going

48:00

60 miles an hour through

48:02

the mountains a black bear can run

48:06

upwards of 30 miles per hour Sure,

48:10

I believe so I I did

48:13

have this moment where I'm like there

48:15

is no way that bear could catch

48:17

that fucking No

48:19

ambulance, but to be

48:21

fair on those small winding

48:23

roads It's a good chance that ambulance cannot

48:25

get to 30 miles an hour. That's true

48:28

So listen, I'm not here for realism I'm

48:30

just here for the fact that this bear

48:33

fucking hauling ass after them But here's the

48:35

thing the most dangerous is

48:37

still Ranger lives with that fucking gun Cuz

48:40

she's shooting out the back with male paramedic hanging

48:42

on to the doors being like what the fuck

48:45

are you doing? Yeah, I'll give Ranger list some

48:47

credit though because when we get to the end

48:49

of this movie I'm like, why is nobody thinking

48:51

about shooting the spare? Yes,

48:53

it's such a confusing ending where everyone

48:55

has a rifle and nobody is shooting

48:57

the bear. Yes, because bears are

49:00

cute I guess and we need and we

49:02

have a hard enemy. We have a hard

49:04

villain in Raelio de Sid.

49:07

We have a soft Villains

49:09

in Eddie and David and

49:11

they absolutely draw the line with shooting

49:13

cute animals Well, this bear

49:15

is it don't kick the dog Jeffrey I

49:18

know Well,

49:20

we get to this per my background here

49:23

on zoom they we get to the moment

49:25

of this bear Launching itself

49:27

in slow motion into the back

49:29

of the ambulance So

49:31

good with like 80s music blasting. I think like

49:34

the pesh mode or something blasting

49:37

in the background Incredible

49:41

everyone dies yes,

49:43

so The male paramedic

49:46

who's in the back with Liz basically

49:48

just gets shredded he get eaten He

49:50

gets eaten. We see his Ranger Liz

49:52

goes like out the back and she

49:54

does the female paramedic It's like launched

49:56

through the windshield. Yeah, it's a It's

50:00

amazing. Okay,

50:03

so now... Blondie,

50:05

David, and Eddie have reached

50:07

the gazebo, but somehow Bob

50:10

is already there. And

50:12

has already claimed the cocaine. And is

50:14

on top of... I actually think this is some

50:16

of the funniest comedy to me. This is where,

50:18

like... This was, I think,

50:20

the scene, like, a lot of... This scene I

50:22

had, like, was in the trailer

50:24

or something that I was like, Oh, this movie's

50:26

gonna be hilarious as fuck. Because

50:29

it's like this sort of back and forth. So

50:31

it's like high stakes. You've got a cop and

50:34

a drug dealer with guns drawn on each other.

50:36

But you also have the kind of... The Peanut

50:38

Gallery, the, like, Eddie and Blondie are kind of,

50:41

like, giving snarky, you know,

50:44

cowardly, comedic side

50:47

comments on everything. Just that it just takes

50:49

all the, like, seriousness out of it. And

50:51

I was like, oh, okay, this is amazing.

50:54

Yeah. I

50:56

couldn't help but to wonder, like, how did Bob

50:58

know to go to the gazebo? Like, I think

51:01

they set up that he just happened upon the

51:03

gazebo. He was just wandering around and he happened

51:05

to sit down and see a bag on top

51:07

of his gebo. How he... Oh, he says he

51:09

climbed a tree and jumped over... Yes. ...onto

51:12

the gazebo and then can't get his way down. And

51:14

this is where, like, Isaiah Whitlock

51:17

is just so funny. In that he's

51:19

like, Huh, uh, um, uh,

51:22

I'm just, uh, looking

51:24

for... Like, just looking for a way

51:27

to climb down here. And there's also

51:29

another me a second where, like, he's

51:31

by himself and he's trying

51:33

to figure out how to get on top

51:35

of the gazebo to get to the cocaine.

51:37

And it's just watching him standing on the

51:40

picnic table, just, like, reaching his arms in

51:42

the air and he jumps, like, an inch

51:44

and a half. He's like, well, that's not

51:46

gonna work. Just

51:48

so silly. So silly. It's

51:50

very, very funny. Yeah,

51:53

but we have this showdown of, like, we've got Gunstrahn

51:55

between him and David. No. Uh,

51:58

tells David to put his gun down. Like

52:00

this cocaine's mine obviously like David has to get

52:03

this cocaine to Sid because David doesn't want to

52:05

get murdered by the cartel Yeah,

52:07

it doesn't want to get murdered by the cartel Bob

52:09

is trying to be a good detective and be like no

52:11

no no we cannot have this cocaine in the world There's

52:15

a moment where David tries to reach

52:17

for his gun and Bob shoots his

52:19

fingers off And

52:21

it's like his but like no I'm not

52:23

it's like a non consecutive fingers. Yeah, yeah, or

52:25

it's like I think it's his middle and

52:27

his pinky. Yeah, he's like how did he even

52:29

do that those fingers aren't even next to

52:31

each other It's a

52:34

very funny gag Then

52:36

the bear shows up And

52:40

is in bumbly stumbly mode. Yeah cuz the

52:42

bear is so tired. So tired. It's a

52:44

lot of cocaine I know you

52:46

have to get you got to pass out and eat some

52:48

greasy food when you get up and it

52:51

Basically walks over the top of

52:53

Eddie who's laying down Playing

52:56

dead playing dead and Just

52:58

on to him Okay.

53:01

Now. This is where I was like, this is dumb.

53:03

Uh-huh. I was like, this is what what is

53:05

this gag? This bear and of course

53:08

like, you know, we hear Eddie underneath just be like

53:11

I can breathe on her. They're

53:13

like, maybe we should just leave him. He's like, uh This

53:16

bear and this is not how bears

53:18

really look. I just want to point

53:20

out Yes, this bear like when you

53:22

actually like see the bear up close

53:24

It's so fluffy and pretty and bears

53:26

are smelly and covered in in poop

53:29

and mud Bears

53:31

are not like they're not

53:34

like labradoodles. Okay They

53:36

are not they also are

53:38

like generally a black bear

53:41

is Absolutely not

53:43

this big. No, they

53:45

are not very big animals Like I

53:47

said, like they are just giant raccoons

53:49

170 pounds. Yeah. Yeah, like 300 is

53:52

probably what you're talking me Like they're They're

53:54

as hefty as like a hefty person, you

53:56

know what I mean? Like they're not. They

53:58

can get pretty big. The by the generally

54:01

speaking, if you're talking about a two fifty

54:03

three hundred pound bear is what you're dealing

54:05

with and I'm some like one. You can

54:07

get this better off of this map. To.

54:11

The. He's so to some match in

54:13

a man laying down prone face down

54:15

the are the bear flops on top

54:17

of him in the exact same position

54:19

so us head on. had bought on

54:22

but later on leg arm on arms

54:24

and I'm. There's. A moment where

54:26

divvied calls the bear a boy and

54:28

you can hear Etti say it's a

54:30

girl and he's like how do you

54:32

know that me says because it's vagina

54:34

is on my ear and I'm like

54:36

what is this a joke what the

54:38

like Whereas a bears vagina is not

54:40

on, it's him, It's just not in

54:42

it's chess. Ah. Unless

54:44

this is like Alien Cocaine bear.

54:47

Yes, muted Cocaine bears. Yeah, I

54:49

was. I was us Like what's

54:51

that? There is some continuity is

54:54

among to film again. Following.

54:56

The funny is great in short

54:58

format. In

55:00

Thirty Rock? Yes! Twenty

55:03

five minute comedy her types which gotta when

55:05

have stretch out to a feature film is

55:08

does it does lose some of it's our

55:10

last to city I can always sort of

55:12

tell like where I'm out with a movie

55:14

oh how many breaks I take during it

55:17

got home and this is a ninety minute

55:19

movie that I took to break story get

55:21

kids are job like these you're a to

55:23

me and this is just my own personal

55:26

taste. I was just like it was too

55:28

much. Rapid fire jokes have felt way longer

55:30

than ninety minutes to me and it was

55:32

moments. Like this where I'm like okay with

55:35

forced the joke in and I just i

55:37

think it's for me. It's a speed bump.

55:39

For. The momentum of the film, But.

55:44

Okay, so we get both. or

55:46

what happens is a said when distract

55:48

the bear with the cocaine yes which

55:50

is what bob does bob has figured

55:52

this out like throws the company is

55:54

bear love coke yeah throw it in

55:57

the woods bear goes running after it

56:00

Then in another showdown with David,

56:04

with the guns drawn, Bob is shot from

56:06

a distance by Sid with a rifle. Oh,

56:08

Sid is on the scene. We have our

56:11

true evil villain. Yep. And

56:13

then, you know, Sid has to tell Eddie,

56:15

like, you can't leave. The thing is, they're

56:17

not just going to kill me. They're going

56:19

to kill you and your son and everyone,

56:21

our whole family is involved in this business.

56:24

So that's the, that's the

56:26

connective tissue as to why you have to care about

56:28

what's happening here and why we have to get the

56:30

cocaine back. Blondie runs

56:33

away, comes out of the scene, and

56:36

we think backup has arrived. Reba

56:39

shows up, but she

56:41

turns and apparently she's been in

56:43

on the drug deal the whole

56:46

time. This is where

56:48

I paused to go make dinner. I was

56:50

like, what on earth is

56:52

going on? This makes

56:54

no sense whatsoever. This is

56:57

what there's corrupt cops.

56:59

Those corrupt cops aiding

57:01

drug cartels in law

57:04

enforcement? This

57:08

is like a kid playing with dolls, being like, doop,

57:10

doop, doop, talking to you, talking to you. You

57:13

just make up whatever you want. I'm bad now.

57:15

I'm so bad. Now I'm good. I'm good, Ash.

57:17

I'm bad, Ash. And I think for me, like,

57:20

this doesn't make sense in the story, let alone serve

57:22

it. Two,

57:25

like, there's no comedy to this at all.

57:28

There's no like, oh, okay, well, sometimes the,

57:31

oh, I know it's a girl because its vagina

57:33

is on my ear. Like, it's clearly just a

57:36

joke. A gag. It's a gag. And you're

57:38

like, it doesn't need to be literal. This

57:41

plot point makes zero sense whatsoever

57:43

at all. She's

57:45

not been in this movie except in the opening

57:47

scene where she talks about how much she loves

57:49

her Labrador retriever and Bob gets jealous. Okay.

57:53

Okay. But Bob dies.

57:58

He dies on top of this gazebo. Yeah.

58:01

Elsa Different Like why is this part of a

58:03

story? That's my note here Are interested? Makes no

58:05

sense. Okay, So now we've

58:07

got. These. So

58:09

divvied Etti and said are now on

58:12

the hunt for the cocaine of a

58:14

blonde he's out of the picture to

58:16

later. Yup, Now or with

58:18

Dd and Harry for the first time

58:20

in two hours and. We

58:23

are. Dd has the

58:25

or I'm sorry yeah Harry and Keri

58:27

Russell Looking for Dd. Dd has left

58:29

a trail of. Paint.

58:32

For her mom Mark catholics kind of

58:35

leaving. The tracks have paved and sweatshirts

58:37

and young through the woods. great. We

58:39

do get a shot of Dd in

58:41

a cave so we know she's okay.

58:45

I'm just curious why the bear is

58:47

holding her kept his. Or.

58:50

Y C stuck in the cave

58:52

now I like nuclear is clearly

58:54

out like. Doing. Other

58:56

things: Death. The.

58:58

Makes leave girl zero cents or

59:00

they run into they run into

59:02

all loss Who is. A.

59:05

Colorist in his distraught

59:07

how terrified nature but

59:09

also still very You

59:11

know Scandinavians in his practicality.

59:14

Yeah, I'm. I

59:16

go say that as of this

59:18

actor as from you know very

59:20

popular forums actor or folic acid

59:22

or from my computer scene of

59:24

hotels and a couple health. And

59:29

of Willie Wonka ask. Persona.

59:33

That. Would like plastered on every wall and

59:35

every elevator of this hotel we stayed at

59:37

and I was like. What?

59:39

East and west use

59:42

this. So.

59:44

I loved his actor, but I also like

59:46

a strange visceral reaction to his The Ice

59:48

Priests. Is pretty incredible. He's

59:50

I'm. The I said

59:53

I: This is the first moment where I realized

59:55

all of this movie is taking place in a

59:57

day. yes Because

1:00:00

he's still in

1:00:02

the woods. He's still in the woods after

1:00:05

the bear attack in the morning. The kids

1:00:07

went out to go paint the waterfall and they

1:00:09

wanted to get there before lunch. And

1:00:12

now dusk is starting to set in. So

1:00:14

now we've got kind

1:00:16

of, you know, because they need a flashlight to

1:00:18

go into the cave. We

1:00:20

hear Olaf get got by the bear

1:00:23

outside off-screen death.

1:00:27

But the bear cubs are just like

1:00:29

rolling around in cocaine. In this cave.

1:00:31

Yeah. Because who doesn't love

1:00:34

rolling around in cocaine, I suppose. But

1:00:37

that forces the

1:00:39

family trio to go further into

1:00:42

the cave, which opens onto a

1:00:44

massive waterfall. Uh-huh.

1:00:47

In very like... Is

1:00:51

this nature? What set is this?

1:00:53

Like this is the height

1:00:56

of pandemic filmmaking. I don't know. There's

1:00:58

movies that were made during the pandemic I felt were

1:01:00

very... There's almost a thumbprint

1:01:02

on them because, like

1:01:04

I said, there's a lot of voiceover

1:01:06

over top of B-roll because

1:01:09

it was a way that people could film and

1:01:11

kind of story tell without having

1:01:13

people on set next to each

1:01:16

other. But like,

1:01:18

you can kind of tell when this

1:01:20

movie goes from onset to set piece.

1:01:24

And this waterfall set is like

1:01:26

something straight out of Lord of the Rings in

1:01:29

its fantastic nature that does not really fucking

1:01:31

exist in the woods. You ask me if

1:01:33

I'm a mountain guy. I'm like, this

1:01:36

is a delightful set piece, but

1:01:38

this is pure Hollywood fabrication. Yes.

1:01:42

There's that sense of like, this

1:01:45

mount, like these woods are so

1:01:48

vast. It's so expansive.

1:01:50

Like that's how national parks be, you

1:01:52

know? And it is

1:01:54

funny how everyone kind of ends up the exact

1:01:56

same locations. I was like, how did they find

1:01:58

this cave? same day. Yeah. Because

1:02:02

while they're in there seeing the baby bears

1:02:05

getting into the cocaine and the

1:02:07

recovering Dee Dee, she's just got

1:02:09

like a kind of a roughed up

1:02:11

leg. Maybe it's a... Well, I guess that's

1:02:13

the reason why she can't leave is because she can't really

1:02:15

walk on her leg. Yeah. Because she's sort of hiding

1:02:18

in place. Yes. But it

1:02:20

doesn't, it's not like a compound fracture or

1:02:22

whatever. So she can kind of move.

1:02:25

She's also 13. So she's, you know, kids.

1:02:27

Indestructible. Okay.

1:02:29

So they get, you know,

1:02:32

they go out the back of the cave. They're behind

1:02:34

the waterfalls now. Somehow these

1:02:36

waterfalls are like 80 feet up,

1:02:40

which happens a lot. They're very tall

1:02:42

waterfalls, but usually the taller the waterfall,

1:02:44

the less forced the waterfall has. So

1:02:46

this like rushing mountain waterfall is like,

1:02:48

I was like, I don't know. Maybe.

1:02:50

Okay. Maybe. They're on this little ledge.

1:02:52

And then this is where Sid and

1:02:55

his two boys come out onto

1:02:58

the ledge. They found some

1:03:00

coke. They find some coke in the cave, but

1:03:04

they're like, we got to keep looking. He wants

1:03:06

more. Yeah. We got to get all of it.

1:03:08

He wants more. Reba is like, Hey y'all, I'm

1:03:10

done. I got to go. Yeah. And he draws

1:03:12

a rifle on her, but it's David who steps

1:03:14

in front of him to

1:03:16

stop him from shooting her, which

1:03:18

I'm like, no, you drew

1:03:20

in law enforcement to

1:03:23

help with your operation. And that law

1:03:25

enforcement is leaving. You're going

1:03:27

to have to dispose of the law

1:03:29

enforcement. Yeah. There's no walking away from

1:03:31

this. No, no, there really isn't.

1:03:33

And he just kind of lets her go because David is

1:03:35

in the way. I'm like, no, no, no. Both

1:03:38

of you are dead now. Yeah. I feel like, yeah.

1:03:40

I feel like Sid would have just killed them all

1:03:43

except maybe Eddie. And even that,

1:03:46

that father son relationship seems tenuous

1:03:48

at best. So they come across

1:03:51

Kerry Russell and the two kids shocked

1:03:54

to see them like, what are you doing here? They

1:03:57

got the weapons drawn on. Like we're trapped by cocaine

1:03:59

bear. Okay. This is This is so confusing. So

1:04:01

Sid has a rifle. These

1:04:04

two bear cubs are coming at him. He has

1:04:06

no qualms with like kicking these bears. So

1:04:09

obviously you kick the dog. You're a bad guy.

1:04:11

Pretty simple. We

1:04:13

already know he's bad. So we just tacked this on at

1:04:15

the end of the movie. And then

1:04:17

he tells his men shoot them. He is

1:04:19

holding a rifle. He's like,

1:04:21

shoot. He's like, I shoot them. The angle.

1:04:24

No. These bears. Incorrect.

1:04:27

Incorrect. So he

1:04:29

then tosses the rifle

1:04:32

to David to tell him to

1:04:34

shoot them. David doesn't catch

1:04:36

it. So it lands in Carrie

1:04:39

Russell's hands. She

1:04:41

cocks the gun and points it at him and

1:04:43

is like, I'm leaving with my kids. Yes.

1:04:46

In a definite like cocaine bear

1:04:48

human parallel. So we've

1:04:50

got like mama bear in her two cubs and

1:04:52

we've got Carrie Russell and her two cubs or

1:04:55

two wards or, you know, her

1:04:57

daughter and her daughter's friend.

1:05:00

You know what she does here in

1:05:02

any rational situation if this were

1:05:04

to actually happen is you have

1:05:06

the gun drawn on these three men and you

1:05:08

say, get your ass back in that cave. We're marching out

1:05:10

of here. Yeah. Put

1:05:12

your hands on the back of your heads. I'm marching

1:05:14

you out. We're going out to this cave. We're going

1:05:17

down. Yeah. If we see the bear, we

1:05:19

shoot the bear, but I'm getting my kids out of here.

1:05:21

No, what she decides to do is just ditch

1:05:24

the gun and dive with

1:05:26

the two kids. Yeah. But

1:05:30

lady, you do not know how deep that

1:05:32

water is below. No. And also an 80

1:05:34

foot drop into water is almost

1:05:37

like an 80 foot drop onto

1:05:39

land because the surface tension will

1:05:41

fuck you up. Yeah. We're going

1:05:43

last the Mohegan style. Just jump

1:05:45

off a waterfall. Kids do not

1:05:47

jump off of water. Don't go

1:05:49

jumping water. Don't go jumping waterfalls.

1:05:51

Yep. I should write a song about

1:05:53

that. So she

1:05:56

jumps also Eddie and Daveed

1:05:59

jump. David gets shot in

1:06:01

the process. Yeah by Sid who is

1:06:03

shooting at the bear Again,

1:06:06

nobody can shoot anything in this movie.

1:06:08

No except random Bistand

1:06:10

except the person that they're not aiming

1:06:12

at yes, but the sound of the

1:06:14

yeah the sound of the the distressed

1:06:17

bear cubs calls mother bear who

1:06:20

is super pissed and Sid

1:06:23

manages to shoot the bear and she

1:06:25

falls down to the rocks below We're

1:06:28

like, oh no, he killed the bear because he

1:06:30

said is now like reaching for this other bag

1:06:32

That's hung up on a tree branch But

1:06:35

a coke brick falls out of it bursts

1:06:37

open Reviving cocaine bear.

1:06:40

Oh my god to then leap

1:06:43

60 feet back upwards and Hang

1:06:47

Sid by the strap of Yeah

1:06:50

duffel, uh-huh and then

1:06:52

like with a cut open his belly finger

1:06:54

slices open his belly and the

1:06:56

two bear cubs gleefully pull out

1:06:59

his intestines Like

1:07:01

they are literally bear giggling Yep

1:07:07

Like it's yes, like it is it

1:07:09

is Easter Sunday and these bears have

1:07:11

discovered a chocolate Cadbury egg, uh-huh Unreal

1:07:17

Poor David is now lying on the

1:07:19

shore of this lake or whatever below

1:07:21

and he's bleeding out and he and

1:07:24

Eddie are kind of having a moment together where they're

1:07:26

like, I always loved you pal.

1:07:28

No, leave me. No, no, you'll make

1:07:30

it man Carrie Russell comes

1:07:32

over. This is also where like you set up

1:07:34

She's a nurse and then like this is the

1:07:37

only nursing she does the entire film She's

1:07:39

like put pressure on the wound. Oh Okay,

1:07:42

never mind the fact that we've got I don't know

1:07:44

a couple miles four or five

1:07:47

miles to go back to Anything

1:07:51

they're gonna be okay and she

1:07:53

and the kids are gonna be okay Also, where

1:07:56

the how do they know where they are? Have you ever gotten

1:07:58

lost in the wood? Like People die

1:08:00

like this. Yeah. It's, you know what? Shh

1:08:02

shh shh shh shh shh. Shh

1:08:05

shh shh shh. They all fall, they all fall. They

1:08:07

jump off a waterfall, they all live. Next

1:08:10

morning in the parking lot, so we assume it took

1:08:12

them all night to get out of there. Yeah.

1:08:14

Next morning in the parking lot, Reba

1:08:17

is like letting, she's been taking care

1:08:19

of Bob's dog, but Bob is dead.

1:08:22

And my question is to Reba, what

1:08:24

are you gonna write in your report? About

1:08:27

what happened here? Because your

1:08:30

lead detective in your department is

1:08:33

shot to death on a gazebo surrounded by

1:08:35

bags of cocaine. Yeah. You were there, what

1:08:37

were you going there for? What

1:08:40

was your directive? Why were you there? Going there for

1:08:42

backup. Yeah? Okay.

1:08:44

All right. It's

1:08:46

very interesting because she didn't go with him to

1:08:49

begin with and then shows up, I don't know. Whatever

1:08:53

rolls down, because the other thing we set up

1:08:55

is that we're on the Georgia side of things

1:08:57

and they are Knoxville cops. Yeah,

1:08:59

I know. Outside you're a victim here. So

1:09:01

I'm like, what were you doing down there?

1:09:03

This seems like a case for the FBI

1:09:05

more than local Knoxville Police

1:09:07

Department. Yeah, for real. Anyways,

1:09:11

she just lets the dog out of the

1:09:14

car, walks it over

1:09:16

to Eddie and being like, this dog's yours

1:09:18

now, her name's Rosette. Catharsis? I

1:09:20

guess. This

1:09:24

is just like tying up loose ends, but a

1:09:26

lot of times it's the whole... I think it

1:09:28

goes back to the story that Blondie was telling

1:09:30

Eddie about when I was a

1:09:33

kid, my mom got me an iguana. And

1:09:35

I realized that I really love that iguana, but

1:09:38

you have to love people. You can't just love

1:09:40

animals. People

1:09:43

can hear you. Animals just sort of listen.

1:09:46

And this is the whole thing with the Catharsis of, we

1:09:50

know he's going to go back. He gives Rosette to his son.

1:09:54

Duh-huh. Repackaging

1:09:56

that relationship. Deveed is

1:09:59

okay. Yeah, their

1:10:01

friendship is mended all

1:10:03

of our sorrows have washed away bad

1:10:06

bad grandpa's been

1:10:08

eaten by bears Happy

1:10:11

endings for all who deserve it and

1:10:15

Carrie Russell and the kids have walked back home.

1:10:17

They see Like

1:10:20

boss's body on the road god, but it's like flipped

1:10:22

over and he's like I really want to turn it

1:10:24

over She's like no don't look don't look you don't

1:10:26

want to see I really want to look

1:10:28

no you don't want to look And

1:10:31

then we're at credits and we have a couple of credits

1:10:33

scenes Blondie

1:10:35

has saved a duffel bag

1:10:37

of cocaine and his hitchhiking

1:10:39

to New York City, New York City Which

1:10:42

is funny cuz he throws the bag in the

1:10:44

bed of the pickup truck which is filled or

1:10:46

the flatbed which is filled with Sheep yeah,

1:10:50

and then thinks better of it. It's like no.

1:10:52

I'm a keep this in the cab with me

1:10:55

I love it. I love it cuz everybody

1:10:57

everybody is thinking like oh my god. It's

1:10:59

gonna be a cocaine sheep black

1:11:03

sheep and then Eddie

1:11:05

gets reunited with the Sun Gabe He's

1:11:07

got the dog and the dog is chewing

1:11:10

on something. They're like. What's he chewing on and

1:11:12

it it was David's

1:11:14

fingers that Eddie had saved when they got shot

1:11:16

off as he said they're not

1:11:18

gonna attach those things now Like

1:11:21

you've gone through like mountain water.

1:11:23

Yeah, no no I think it's the last cause with

1:11:25

those fingers yeah the

1:11:28

end Shall we

1:11:30

rate this movie? Yes, let's alright So

1:11:32

if your horror movie averse like how approachable

1:11:34

is cocaine bear on a scale of one

1:11:36

to ten One being like

1:11:38

the least approachable ten being like super approachable

1:11:40

for the horror averse. I mean I'd give

1:11:42

cocaine bear like Seven out

1:11:45

of ten Norwegian hikers. It's very gory

1:11:48

Um yeah, it's not scary. It's

1:11:51

I think if you take it kind of

1:11:53

seriously It's very tragic like it's super depressing

1:11:55

to watch sort of innocent people get fucked

1:11:57

up, but it's also cartoonish

1:12:00

it just depends on where your mindset is if you

1:12:02

roll with the comedy It's

1:12:04

probably even more approachable than seven out of ten. It's

1:12:06

just cartoonishly gory and silly

1:12:09

I think a movie for a

1:12:11

group rather than just like a solo here.

1:12:13

Let me take in this Oscar nominated film

1:12:15

type of vibe This is more snakes on

1:12:17

a plane territory. Yes, then anything else 100%

1:12:21

But I think it's super approach why I think it's

1:12:23

really fun There's a good chance that even

1:12:25

if you're horror averse you've probably seen this because

1:12:27

I think it is comedy first horror second so

1:12:30

that's That's where I'll give

1:12:32

cocaine bear seven out of ten for approachability But

1:12:35

for you see solo, how do you rate this movie?

1:12:37

It's just a horror film as

1:12:39

a horror film This one's I gotta say it's

1:12:41

pushed down pretty low. Definitely comedy first. There's some

1:12:44

of the horror beats are there But

1:12:47

we're they're so peppered throughout It's

1:12:50

like four four out of ten Red

1:12:53

duffel bags. Uh-huh. A

1:12:55

lot of fun is a comedy. Yeah, that's a horror Meh

1:12:59

meh. Yeah, of course fun

1:13:01

movie good times Let's

1:13:03

figure out what movie we will watch next

1:13:06

you have a scare die I have a style

1:13:08

die will roll those up and see what movie

1:13:10

matches those two things So see so if

1:13:13

you roll a one our next movie scare has

1:13:15

to be isolation to

1:13:17

mythological three aquatic

1:13:20

for bad mom slash bad dad

1:13:22

five a Cult or

1:13:25

six body horror is our scare

1:13:30

That's a six. All right, we're

1:13:32

gonna get that body horror we've always wanted

1:13:35

bodies are so icky you All

1:13:37

right. So now we're gonna match up your Body

1:13:40

horror role with whatever I roll on our

1:13:43

style that if we roll of one

1:13:45

our style is it has to be something

1:13:47

from the southern Hemisphere produced in the southern

1:13:49

hemisphere country to wild card, whatever

1:13:51

body horror we want Three

1:13:54

a black and white film

1:13:56

for a cult film not about a

1:13:58

cult but a cult following Five,

1:14:01

a low-budget film or six, a sci-fi

1:14:03

film. So let's see what our style

1:14:05

is. I

1:14:07

too rolled a six. We've got

1:14:09

sci-fi, body horror. There's no way...

1:14:12

No strong. We've got some strong

1:14:14

contenders here. There's no way we can find any

1:14:16

movies that match up. All right, you

1:14:18

want to go over the ones that we have on

1:14:20

this list that

1:14:22

we put down and then we can also check our

1:14:24

letter boxed as well and

1:14:26

see what folks there had

1:14:29

to say about body horror

1:14:31

meets sci-fi. First

1:14:34

up, we have a movie called Crimes of

1:14:36

the Future, which I do not know

1:14:38

this movie. This is David

1:14:40

Cronenberg's film from 22 or 23. That

1:14:43

is. Yeah. I don't

1:14:45

know anything about... I know it... I remember

1:14:48

it vaguely coming out and everybody was like,

1:14:50

oh, okay, this movie is definitely very intense.

1:14:53

We also have Possessor. This

1:14:56

is David Cronenberg's son. Yes.

1:14:59

Imagine getting the Cronenberg family on

1:15:01

sci-fi, body horror. Oh my God.

1:15:03

Crazy, right? We

1:15:05

have Slither, which is a classic... This is

1:15:07

definitely Slither is one that is true

1:15:10

horror comedy. So it's like

1:15:13

definitely leans into the horror but has some funny

1:15:15

beats to it. This is Nathan Fillion, I think

1:15:17

is in this movie, right? Yeah.

1:15:20

Yeah. And actually, I think Elizabeth

1:15:23

Banks is in this movie. Oh, I

1:15:25

think you're right. Yeah. So

1:15:27

like clearly kind of

1:15:29

the inverse of what we just watched. We

1:15:32

also have the Color Out of Space, which is

1:15:34

a sort of Nicholas Cage

1:15:36

Lovecraft body horror trapped

1:15:38

in a house with unspeakable

1:15:41

space alien

1:15:44

molecules or something. Yeah.

1:15:47

We also have Altered States, which is

1:15:49

a Ken Russell joint

1:15:51

from the 70s, if I remember right,

1:15:54

about somebody who takes LSD.

1:15:56

And then is put into a sensory

1:15:58

deprivation tank. That's

1:16:00

about all I know and

1:16:02

regresses to some sort

1:16:04

of altered state of consciousness. We

1:16:07

also have the perennial cult

1:16:10

classic Frankenhooker, which I have

1:16:12

never seen, by the way. I haven't either. Our... I

1:16:16

think it was Bree. Bree Williams. Bree

1:16:19

Williams loves Frankenhooker. Recommended

1:16:21

that one. We also put

1:16:24

on their street trash, which is sort of of the 80s,

1:16:27

um, you know, there's

1:16:29

like toxic ooze that is like

1:16:31

making Vietnam vets and homeless

1:16:34

people turn into mutants.

1:16:37

But this one, this is definitely a

1:16:39

mondo, you know, late

1:16:43

night kind of... We're

1:16:45

getting like more... Like, I love how we start with

1:16:47

like the Cronenberg family and

1:16:49

we're getting more and more like, you

1:16:52

know, late night video

1:16:54

as we get on here. However, we're going

1:16:56

to circle it right back around to

1:16:59

another early Cronenberg in scanners,

1:17:03

which is definitely body horror, definitely

1:17:05

sci-fi, um, and very serious. And

1:17:08

just has a lot of people just staring at each other

1:17:10

until their heads explode. Uh,

1:17:12

I love all of that. So I'm gonna

1:17:15

tell you what's on our letter boxed.

1:17:17

Um, I'm not going to

1:17:19

get through all of these just because we

1:17:21

have so many. Oh my god. We've definitely

1:17:23

got a few people bringing up scanners, bringing...

1:17:25

Oh, another one, uh, Brandon

1:17:27

Cronenberg's Antiviral is a recent film as well.

1:17:30

The 1988, the blob is one. Yeah. You

1:17:35

know what? I've never seen any of the blobs,

1:17:37

like the original or the remake, none of them.

1:17:39

Um, I know I've seen the original. I didn't

1:17:41

see the 1988 version, but that

1:17:43

came from Katie. Katie also throws

1:17:45

out alien. There's

1:17:47

a, yeah, definitely. King

1:17:50

and commoner gives us the human centipede.

1:17:53

Of course. Yeah. I

1:17:55

mean, absolute mad scientist is mad science

1:17:57

is not that. science

1:18:00

is definitely fiction. Ganymede's Cup

1:18:02

also seconds altered states, not

1:18:05

Amy Adams second slither, and also

1:18:07

throws out Infinity Pool from 2023.

1:18:10

I've sort of heard of this

1:18:12

but I don't know. Very stylish,

1:18:15

like, you know, sort of like almost

1:18:18

has like a 1960s kind of

1:18:20

stylish Mad Men sort of vibe,

1:18:22

but it's like essentially if you,

1:18:24

you like, if you like,

1:18:26

the main character does something very bad

1:18:28

and instead of getting punished they like

1:18:31

apparently are growing doppelgangers of I

1:18:33

don't know something something something

1:18:36

body farm-esque. Okay great.

1:18:39

Destination Hellmouth gives a psycho gorman,

1:18:41

which is kind of horror comedy sort

1:18:44

of thing. Oh I don't know this one

1:18:46

at all. This movie comes up a lot

1:18:48

I see it on our like Patreon list

1:18:50

sometimes a horror comedy with a lot of

1:18:52

fun practical effects in which a child gains

1:18:54

the ability to control a murderous all powerful

1:18:56

alien. Uh-oh. Weaponized Toaster gives us Bad Taste.

1:18:59

Oh yeah. Peter Jackson. Definitely sci-fi,

1:19:01

definitely body horror and all the

1:19:04

gloopy gloppy from Peter Jackson. VGH

1:19:06

Vegeta, but the letters gives us

1:19:08

Akira. Yeah. Yes. Okay

1:19:10

so Suspicious Beans throws out the

1:19:12

remake of Invasion of the Body

1:19:15

Snatchers from 78. Amazing. That 1978

1:19:17

with Leonard Nimoy is so flippin'

1:19:19

good. Fifth Hammer gives us Dr.

1:19:22

X from 1932. Ooh I don't know this one.

1:19:24

I don't know this. Reporter

1:19:26

Lee Taylor is doing a piece on a

1:19:28

series of grisly cannibalistic murders committed under a

1:19:31

full moon. I misread I

1:19:33

just want to say I misread that

1:19:35

and I thought it said grisly murder

1:19:37

cannibalistic murders committed on the moon. Who's

1:19:41

killing people and eating people on the

1:19:43

moon? And then also

1:19:45

Hammer Horrors, Curse of

1:19:47

Frankenstein. Fifth Hammer gives us that too. Oh,

1:19:51

Cap'n gives us Tetsuo, the Iron

1:19:53

Man. Of course. Very sci-fi

1:19:55

body horror. Ryan gives us Bride

1:19:58

of Re-Animator and from beyond. Yes.

1:20:01

Both love craftian. A

1:20:04

few people jumping in, seconding Tetsuo, the Iron

1:20:06

Man, which I think is incredible.

1:20:10

Like I think when I hear body

1:20:12

horror, if I'm not thinking Cronenberg, I

1:20:14

think my mind goes to Tetsuo. Yeah.

1:20:16

M. Reed Lobato gives us the

1:20:20

Quatermass series, which

1:20:23

last I checked are not available in

1:20:25

the US. It's a bit like

1:20:27

older British sci-fi-ish sort of

1:20:29

series. But let's

1:20:31

see here. We've also got a few

1:20:34

people throwing out support for District 9.

1:20:36

South African Phil. Ooh,

1:20:38

sci-fi is definitely a strong bear.

1:20:41

When I first saw that, I was like, but

1:20:43

is it body horror? Oh, it absolutely is body

1:20:45

horror because we are watching a person transform. More

1:20:50

for Crimes of the Future. We've also got Emily

1:20:52

Bean throws out Splinter from 2008. There's

1:20:56

a creature that takes over people and it infects

1:20:58

all it touches. Spoilers

1:21:01

for what that means

1:21:03

for the body horror aspect. Ooh, fun.

1:21:05

That's exciting. Sounds like fun. Oh,

1:21:07

and then Mage Sparrowhawk throws out

1:21:09

Repo the Genetic Opera. Oh,

1:21:12

totally. Which we still haven't gotten to on

1:21:14

the show. Very body horror, very sci-fi. And

1:21:16

a musical. Oh my god, yes. It's

1:21:20

going to be tough to narrow this down. The question is,

1:21:22

what are we in the mood for? Do we want something

1:21:26

arty? Do we want something funny?

1:21:31

Do we want something campy? Something

1:21:33

old? Something new? Yeah,

1:21:36

something old, something new. Something borrowed.

1:21:38

Something gloopy. Globby. Yeah.

1:21:41

Yeah, something new. Do we

1:21:43

want something that's more of like a classic,

1:21:45

like The Blob or Invasion of the Body

1:21:47

Snatchers? Do we want

1:21:49

something that is more like contemporary

1:21:52

new film, like antiviral possessor? Yeah,

1:21:54

yeah, yeah. Which happens to be

1:21:57

more intense. I think after

1:21:59

the comedy. of Cocaine

1:22:02

Bear. I think I'm in

1:22:04

the mood for not necessarily like bleak,

1:22:06

but I want like, I love, I

1:22:08

love, okay, we rolled sci-fi, so let's

1:22:10

go hard into the science, the

1:22:13

sciency-wiancy of it. So

1:22:16

things like, things that are popping out to me

1:22:18

are Tetsuo,

1:22:20

District 9,

1:22:23

Akira, even

1:22:25

some of the the Lovecraft-y sciency-wiancys,

1:22:27

Color Out of Space, although that's

1:22:29

like maybe science fiction. I mean

1:22:31

fucking Alien, the original OG Alien

1:22:34

we've not watched from this show,

1:22:36

and that is like the

1:22:38

horror movie that launched a thousand

1:22:40

thesis papers on monster, monster horror.

1:22:44

I also love kind of the idea of,

1:22:50

like, altered states, if we want to go

1:22:52

a little more like mental

1:22:54

trippy. Man, we

1:22:57

have so many. We also had Frankenhooker,

1:22:59

which is Camp. Camp?

1:23:02

A cult classic? Yeah.

1:23:04

Now, considering we have cult classic

1:23:07

on the dice, I'd say let's

1:23:09

maybe push some of the campy

1:23:11

ones like Slither, Frankenhooker, Street Trash

1:23:15

off to the side a bit. However,

1:23:18

there's also like the 1988 The Blob.

1:23:21

Is that horror? Is that body horror?

1:23:23

Or is that like just people?

1:23:26

People running away from? It's, I mean,

1:23:28

it's a blob that consumes people. And

1:23:30

then it, yeah, I don't know how

1:23:32

much the original 50s

1:23:34

one is the people going, I

1:23:38

don't know if the 80s one shows a body

1:23:40

like dissolving into the blob or how that works.

1:23:42

But, and then we've got, hold

1:23:44

on. Also, there was a. So

1:23:47

here's, here's a few that I have,

1:23:49

like Tetsuo, great district

1:23:51

nine, Akira, alien.

1:23:54

Yeah. Altered States. Yeah.

1:23:57

Scanners? Scanners.

1:23:59

Oh, body horror. Yeah, because

1:24:01

oh yeah. I would also throw

1:24:03

like maybe something new like Infinity Pool. It got

1:24:05

kind of like okay ratings, like it's kind of

1:24:07

maybe more style over substance, but I think there's

1:24:09

something to be said for that and has Alexander

1:24:12

Skard's card who is always super

1:24:14

yummy to watch. Do

1:24:17

we think we have, oh invasion of the body snatchers. Ah

1:24:19

yes. That's definitely science fiction

1:24:21

and it's definitely body horror. It's,

1:24:23

I mean, like we've got some

1:24:25

heavy hitters here. So

1:24:28

let me ask you this. So

1:24:30

of this sort of list that

1:24:32

we have right here, Tetsuo District,

1:24:34

well, Tetsuo, Akira, Alien, and

1:24:37

Body Snatchers. Those are

1:24:39

all movies that are heavily

1:24:42

talked about. I mean, they are in the

1:24:44

canon of horror movies

1:24:46

you have to see or sci-fi-ish

1:24:48

movies that you have to see. Which

1:24:50

is sort of can be fun to do. Like it's

1:24:53

fun to talk about Jaws or The Shining or whatever.

1:24:55

And I'm really curious

1:24:57

about Altered States. Like I think deep

1:24:59

down I want to see Akira or

1:25:01

Alien. I've never seen Scanners

1:25:03

and I've never seen Tetsuo. You know what,

1:25:05

when I was a teenager, Scanners was one

1:25:08

of the movies that actually got me into

1:25:10

horror films. Oh, interesting. But it's so like

1:25:12

acting forward and like

1:25:16

the Cronenberg like, you

1:25:18

know, ness of it all, which is unlike

1:25:21

anything I had ever seen. Yeah.

1:25:23

Oh, that's interesting. I'm not saying it's a

1:25:25

great film. No. But

1:25:29

it was the film that I was like, I'm

1:25:31

watching something that I just can't roll into

1:25:34

the movie multiplex and to see a dime

1:25:37

a dozen version of. Okay, so one

1:25:39

option I could give you

1:25:41

is we have eight films that we

1:25:43

just listed there. Okay. I do

1:25:45

have an eight-sided die. We could roll that. Oh. Or

1:25:48

we could narrow this down a little bit more and just say, I know the

1:25:50

movie I want to see. All of

1:25:52

these are equally excited for. I know.

1:25:54

Like how do you put like alien

1:25:56

versus invasion of the body Snatchers with

1:25:58

like difficult blooming. Like

1:26:00

these are some heavy hitters. Yeah. And

1:26:03

Infinity Pool, I don't know shit about, but I'd be excited

1:26:06

to see it based off of how you- Yeah,

1:26:08

I've not seen it. I've kind of like edged

1:26:10

myself with the, you know, like, ooh, maybe I'll

1:26:12

watch a preview. Maybe I won't. Oh no. Yeah.

1:26:16

So do we want to just say, this is the one I want to see or do you want me to roll

1:26:18

for it? Now let's roll it up.

1:26:20

All right. If I roll a

1:26:22

one, Tetsuo, okay, these are going to

1:26:24

be in order. Tetsuo, District 9, Akira, Alien,

1:26:28

Altered States, number six of scanners,

1:26:30

Infinity Pool, then Body Snatchers. Yes.

1:26:33

So what do we got here? I

1:26:35

got an eight. We're doing Body Snatchers. Oh

1:26:38

yes. This is the 1978 one. We've

1:26:41

already covered early in the show. Back in 2020, we

1:26:43

covered the original from the 1950s. So

1:26:46

yeah, let's have we covered, have we done

1:26:48

a, an original and a remake on this

1:26:50

show before? Any of the Halloweens? No. The

1:26:53

like the Rob Zombie homes. Interesting.

1:26:56

Nightmare on Elm Street? No, we haven't done the

1:26:58

remake of Nightmare on Elm Street. I know Texas

1:27:00

Chainsaw, none of that. No. Well,

1:27:02

we did know. We did know Sforatu and

1:27:04

then the Werner Herzog knows Sforatu. You're right.

1:27:07

You're absolutely right. Fantastic. Okay.

1:27:10

Well, I like, I, this movie is, this

1:27:12

movie is the shit. Yeah. This movie is,

1:27:15

is amazing. Donald Sutherland as well. Yeah.

1:27:18

Well, great. Thank

1:27:20

you all for listening. Thanks Cecil for talking

1:27:22

with me. And if y'all have thoughts on

1:27:24

Cocaine Bear or ideas for movies that you

1:27:26

would have chosen as body horror meets sci-fi,

1:27:28

let us know on Instagram at Random Horror

1:27:30

9 or over on Patreon where

1:27:32

we have public discussion threads for each and every

1:27:34

episode and you do not have to be a

1:27:37

paying member to participate in those. So

1:27:39

watch 1878's Invasion of the

1:27:41

Body Snatchers with us this week and

1:27:43

come on back next Tuesday for a

1:27:45

new episode. Have a restful night with

1:27:47

no multi-show dog eating your severed fingers

1:27:49

or nothing. There.

1:27:53

Haha, yeah. Random

1:27:57

number generator horror podcast number.

1:28:00

9 is hosted by me, Jeffrey Cranor,

1:28:02

and Cecil Baldwin. For more of our

1:28:04

work on the podcast, welcome to Night

1:28:07

Vale. This show is produced and edited

1:28:09

by me, with music by Cecil and

1:28:11

logo by David Baldwin. See original artwork

1:28:13

for each episode by David on Instagram,

1:28:15

support our show and join us for

1:28:18

live streams on Patreon, watch videos of

1:28:20

our recording sessions on YouTube, and contribute

1:28:23

to our movie selection process on Letterbucket.

1:28:25

We are in all of those places

1:28:27

at Random Horror 9. We

1:28:29

are a part of Night Vale Presents.

1:28:31

Find other great podcasts at nightvalepresents.com.

1:28:35

Today's scary story... You

1:28:38

built your home atop an ancient burial

1:28:40

ground. It's called the Earth. Everything

1:28:44

below the ground is ancient and

1:28:47

buried. Sorry pal, that's

1:28:50

just the way it works.