Today is myth number two. Good marriages are easy marriages. If this wasn't something people believe, then why would they question whether they'd chosen the suitable mate when the going gets tough. Why would they choose to stay stuck in what's not working instead of saying-hey, these problems are a part of marriage. What can we do to overcome them? 

I wish I'd known this early on, as I think my reality would have been different. My disillusionment, not so great. I'd look at other couples that seemed to be thriving and thought they were just lucky. They seemed happy, content, working in tandem with their partner. And then I'd think, there must be something flawed in my marriage. What I never ventured to ask was, "How do you guys do it?" After all, I certainly didn't want to seem like we didn't have it all together in my marriage. 

Isn't it like this when we see accomplished professionals like athletes, actors, business moguls, musicians, and artists. I can narrow it down to anyone who can do something I can't do but wish I could. They make it look so stinkingly easy like it is just natural to be so good at what they do. It's like it is in their DNA. We even attribute success with having some special "gift" as it requires little to achieve great things. Even with gifts, there is a climb to any level of success. 

It's easy to compare ourselves to the "ideal" and not know or consider the grueling journey taken to get there. Again, because it looks so natural. 

If you want a good marriage, you will have to get in the mindset that you and your spouse will have to work and work as if your life depends on it. Letting things slide and wallowing in what isn't right will get you no further than you already are. 

I'll be covering 5 action steps to begin the hard work that it takes to have a good marriage.