On Her Majesty’s Secret Service - “Licence to Kilt”

Welcome to SPECTRE etc. This is the James Bond podcast where we discuss the ins and the outs of each film. In this episode, it is “Sayonara Sean!” as the only Bond we’ve ever known is re-cast. George Lazenby is not the only new thing about this Bond - our cold-hearted spy now has all sorts of feelings! Join our journey on George’s emotional rollercoaster in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”.

* The pre-titles sequence (slowly) reveals a new Bond smashing through the fourth wall. Then the titles sequence (subtly) works to ensure we know that - even without Connery - this is still a Bond film.* Draco’s henchmen (or are they matchmakers?) do their best to help Bond and Tracy come together.* We are heartened by Bond finally asking Moneypenny on an actual date, before we are dismayed by his little tantrum. But Bond brings us back onboard by falling in love with Tracy using the magic of montage!* Bond’s new safecracker seems a step backward from the previous film, but DOES allow him time to check Playboy’s new direction.* Bond arrives in Switzerland - undercover as Hillary Bray - and jumps in Irma’s sleigh. At Piz Gloria he sees many beautiful “clients” of the “allergy institute” before he and Blofeld meet! For the first time? It seems that way. But why is that? * Bond’s alter-ego Hilly is having a great time with the ladies, but our thoughts are with poor Tracy waiting at home for her lover to return.* Bond is caught by Blofeld and stuffed into the cable-car gears room. Bond escapes this not-really-a-prison in what is so very nearly a great scene.* Bond heads off down the hill, incognito in powder-blue leggings. Just when all seems lost, he is saved by Tracy. This involves the grand Swiss traditions of a demolition derby on ice, and proposing marriage in a barn.* Bond again has to ski for safety, but Blofeld triggers an avalanche and captures Tracy. MI6 are no help, so Bond asks “Father of the Year” Draco to help him mount a rescue attempt. Draco saves his daughter by punching her in the face, while Blofeld battles Bond in bobsleds before branching off.* A odd bunch of people gather for Bond’s wedding, before Bond opens his honeymoon with some light deflowering action.

Official SPECTRE etc Theory (OffSeT) #5: Connery can’t play romance We recite Connery’s entire acting resume (as we know it) and reach the obvious conclusion - as good an actor as Sean is, he does not take romantic roles. Harrison Ford, Nicholas Cage, a submarine… Connery avoids female co-stars!

And of course, keep checking back for a link to our petition to have Lazenby’s hometown of Goulburn honour the great man by erecting a “Big George” right there with the Big Merino.

Worst Impersonation Trophy: About two hours in, Col is concerned about Draco and M having a casual chat at the wedding. The rest of us are concerned about Col attempting a “Godfather” accent that comes out closer to bronchitis than Brando...

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