Neither of us are in Brighton, but that doesn't stop us being alight with conference gossip. We talk about the big heavyweight (or not so, now) battle between John Lansman and Tom Watson, about Tony Blair's toilet habits and about just how wonderful John McDonnell is.

We debate if the option of ever having an open democratic discusion without the press screaming 'divison' and longer exists.

Adam has been reading Dave's book.

We ask if the head of Momentum is clever or stupid.

And we talk about the Twitter World Cup of the Worst Tories Ever - you can vote now.