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And this show Dave Damashek is

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JV or all balls Also,

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0:09

do March Madness Madness Actor

0:11

Carlo Mendez is gonna join us as well.

0:13

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This is the Adam Corolla

1:00

show Adam's guest today

1:02

the host of minus three and

1:05

extra points Dave Damashek

1:08

from demise actor Carlo

1:10

Mendez and the deaf

1:13

rat guy calls in with JV or

1:15

all balls Plus the news and latest

1:17

friendly atomic suit Chris Lhasa mana and

1:19

the irate of March Madness Madness and

1:21

now He never came

1:23

out of the closet, but he did come out

1:25

of the service porch. That was his bedroom Adam

1:28

Corolla. Yeah, get it on got to get

1:31

on a judgment. I'm gonna get it on

1:33

Welcome to show Dave Damashek

1:35

back by popular demand Yes,

1:38

what a what a pleasure ace I love

1:40

hearing from the people and and

1:42

the response from the people is they

1:44

love Adam Corolla It's remarkable the people that

1:46

reach out to me slip into my DMS

1:49

and otherwise to say man just heard John

1:51

the ace man He's the best love

1:53

you and can't wait

1:55

to hear from DFG Def. I got

1:57

him but questions. I always think questions

2:00

for a shek. So let's

2:02

see where this guy ranks. I got

2:04

into this yesterday. Saw a guy

2:06

a couple of weeks ago walking his dog but

2:09

he was on a skateboard and the dog was

2:11

pulling him and I can't figure

2:13

out sort of winner or loser. Always

2:15

jealous, you know, he's turned his

2:18

pet into a beast of burden, you know what

2:20

I mean? He can't hook him up to a

2:22

plow but this is as close as modern day

2:24

man can get, you know.

2:27

Some people in society now get raw

2:29

when you do that with your kids

2:31

so this is, you know, maybe a

2:33

keen update. My dog farts, eats, sheds

2:36

and generally lays around the house.

2:38

He's not a form of transportation.

2:40

King of the castle. Yeah, so

2:42

there's that guy and then I

2:44

was juxtaposing him to the dog

2:46

who's pulling the guy on the bicycle

2:50

and these guys, again, I wouldn't want to trade places

2:52

with him but I always feel like they know something

2:54

we don't know. Yeah, they're

2:56

a little more dialed in. Yeah

2:59

and you're a friend of nature just as

3:01

you are to mankind, you know. It's not

3:03

like you're, you're, you love your

3:06

pooches over the years there but yeah,

3:08

I'm with you. They've elevated it to,

3:10

you know, to giving them purpose, you

3:12

know. Isn't that what we want from

3:14

our kids? Dog's getting a workout. You're

3:17

getting to point A to point

3:19

B faster than you would have on foot.

3:21

It's win-win but now I see a third

3:23

guy yesterday as I'm

3:25

walking which I realize

3:27

exists but I have not seen it

3:30

before which this

3:32

guy is jogging with his

3:34

dog but instead of holding

3:36

the leash, he has a belt harness

3:39

with the leash in the middle around

3:41

his navel and the dog is six

3:43

feet in front of him while he

3:45

jogs. Now again,

3:47

this guy's a winner because

3:50

you're walking and he chugs past

3:52

you and by the way, where

3:56

do you come down on me on this policy? I was out

3:59

of town over the years. the weekend. I went

4:01

down, I did that move where I said

4:04

I'm gonna do a little recon on the

4:06

gym at the hotel, see what it looks

4:08

like. Does it take the key card to

4:10

get in? Does it have a water machine?

4:12

Always an important step to take. Is it

4:14

crowded? Is the treadmill packed? You know, like

4:16

a recon version. I

4:18

go down there, do

4:21

a recon, see a couple doing

4:23

a power walk slash jog on

4:26

two of the treadmills and

4:29

then go back into my room, take

4:31

a nap, get my shit together,

4:33

head back down about an hour later,

4:36

same couple, still on

4:38

the treadmill, doing a power

4:40

walk slash jog, like a

4:42

trot, and then I realize

4:44

am I gonna have to face the indignity

4:47

of getting on a treadmill, gassing

4:49

out in 20 minutes and then

4:51

leaving while they're still on this

4:53

treadmill? Have you experienced that shame?

4:56

Yes, I know what you're talking about

4:59

is getting on after and then getting

5:01

off before the person. And should there

5:03

be a rule that says if somebody

5:05

else mans the treadmill next to you

5:07

after you've been on, you've got 20

5:09

minutes to wrap it up. Yeah.

5:12

You go to your room and run in place for

5:14

an hour, I don't care, but you gotta wrap it

5:16

up here. Are you trying

5:18

to participate in our society? Right. Then yes,

5:20

then be decent. Yeah, you know what? It's

5:22

funny you bring that up because of all

5:26

the different variations you just gave

5:28

me of man and dog. Worst

5:30

is man and woman

5:32

out for a jog because what are

5:34

the odds that you just so happened

5:36

to run at the exact same pace

5:38

in the exact same distance as

5:41

your significant other? Very slim. Very slim.

5:43

So what do you do? I mean compromise where

5:45

you need to compromise, but this is a weird

5:47

one to me. All right. This

5:50

is a thing, and by the way, this is bringing

5:52

you close. This is like talking to your loved one

5:55

about your, about your bowel movements. That's TMI.

5:58

I don't, I don't need to see you. So

6:01

in this unpleasant state. Let's

6:04

pull some power rankings here. Guy

6:07

jogging with wife, who

6:10

I'm generally disgusted at, but

6:13

maybe worse, guy cycling with

6:15

his wife, the cycling couple versus

6:18

sit on the same side of the booth

6:20

couple. Well the guy, the

6:23

bike guy who's out with like friends,

6:25

that almost certainly means if you're going

6:27

to go to leave- Well, and

6:29

he's probably going to pretend he's going

6:31

to do the cosplay thing like he's

6:34

in the Tour de France, which is

6:36

a weird move because we played basketball,

6:38

we played softball together. I

6:40

haven't seen anybody who feels like, well,

6:42

we're doing it, we better wear a

6:44

full basketball uniform for it with the

6:46

tank top that matches the shorts and

6:48

so on. And yet these people who

6:50

go out for a bike ride with

6:52

their pals somehow feel obliged to dress

6:54

like they're riding for Team USA, like

6:56

they're Greg Lamont. That's why they're into

6:59

it. They're guys

7:01

who like dedicated, specialized equipment.

7:03

They're the guys with the racks

7:05

on top of the SUV. They're

7:08

there to show you that they're living

7:10

a life that's much better than yours.

7:13

Biggest distance between how

7:15

cool somebody thinks they look versus how

7:17

the world actually sees them. Guy,

7:20

and this used to happen to me at an old

7:22

place of work, the guy

7:24

would show up and then he'd go into his

7:26

office and reemerge in his work clothes. And then

7:28

when the business day was done, he would go

7:30

back in his office, close the door and he

7:33

would come out like the worst superhero of all

7:35

time dressed like a Tour de France guy. And

7:38

he would wheel his bike out and he

7:40

would walk through any of this is a

7:42

middle age guy, zoptic kind of guy, walk

7:44

out, pushing in the biker shorts and the

7:46

satiny shirt to, you know, ill fitting and

7:48

the dumb helmet and the clickety shoes that

7:50

make you walk weird. Well, you could,

7:52

you could tell that this guy thought

7:54

everybody's looking at him and thinking like

7:56

this cat is the cat's but we

7:59

don't like those. Guys, here's

8:02

something I've never seen in the

8:04

wild and you tell me. I

8:08

was going out after

8:10

doing a comedy show in Reno

8:12

on Sunday to go

8:14

to a restaurant in the casino. First

8:18

things first, if you have many open booths

8:20

and many open tables, always steer the couple

8:22

to the booth. They always

8:24

do that move where they go, hey, sit down right here,

8:26

like in the high traffic zone by the kitchen door and

8:28

you go, can we get into that booth? And they go,

8:31

oh yeah, we can go

8:33

to that booth. I was like, what's the, have

8:35

it be a default setting. Oh, I assume it's

8:37

a slap in my face. I don't think it's

8:39

an accident. I think they're looking at damage check

8:41

and saying, well, look at you. You ain't cool.

8:43

You're not booth material. No, you ain't worth the

8:45

booth. That's how I feel. Tell me

8:47

if you guys have ever seen this in your life.

8:49

I'm sitting there at the booth feeling

8:51

happy. I made the booth. Asian

8:54

couple pulls in, you know, 65, 70 year old Asian

8:56

couple. The

8:59

server probably taking a page out of my playbook

9:02

says, we got an open booth for you here.

9:05

And they go, we'd like the table in

9:07

the middle of the restaurant. And

9:09

he goes, oh no, but

9:11

you could have the booth. And they go, no,

9:13

no, we want this. And

9:16

then they walked back. And

9:18

then I saw something I'd never seen before times

9:21

two Asian couple at

9:24

a restaurant that serves Asian serves all kinds

9:26

of food, but Asian as well

9:29

eating Mexican food. And

9:31

I was like, what? But then I realized

9:33

I'm sitting there eating Asian food. So what's

9:35

wrong? You're doing it. Why can't

9:37

they eat it? But I never see, I

9:39

never see an Asian couple sitting down where

9:41

Asian food is an option eating Mexican food

9:44

who chose a table over a booth. We

9:46

don't do that. Like

9:48

my feeling with the booth is

9:52

I'm on the booth like when there's toddlers

9:54

in the house and the cats on the

9:56

refrigerator. Like I like a vantage point where

9:58

I can kind of. I don't

10:00

want people coming up behind me people

10:03

come up behind you on a table you

10:05

get flanked you get flanked my late

10:07

old man I asked him once

10:10

Why he got divorced from his first wife

10:12

and he said because we both wanted to

10:14

sit with our with our backs to the

10:17

wall Wow I'm

10:22

that way too and I'm fucking my brother

10:25

I Want

10:27

a but the back of the wall

10:29

is that's where I'm out Yeah, the

10:32

and it's not the mob thing like I

10:34

think somebody's coming to whack me. I'm paranoid

10:37

I know a lot of people don't like me.

10:39

I don't think anybody dislikes me to the degree

10:41

that they want to assassinate me I'm kind of

10:44

you know, I'm more sadly, you know, there are

10:46

two kinds of people there There's an ass

10:48

and there's an asshole. I think I

10:51

probably skew more ass like he's an

10:53

actual dork, you know We don't need

10:55

to kill him. It's what I'm gonna

10:57

kill himself guy running his behavior guy

11:00

running with dog who bought waste harness

11:03

He's doing that because he

11:05

wants a piece of specialized

11:07

equipment like the cycling guy

11:09

Hmm, you can ride a

11:11

bicycle in gym shorts and

11:13

flip-flops You do not need

11:15

the full Sanzano team member

11:18

tour de France outfit they like you know what

11:20

he does with that harness is He

11:23

hangs it right by the front door and

11:26

everyone who comes into his home has to comment.

11:28

What is this thing? This is some kind of

11:33

No, no, I put it around my waist

11:35

that's in the bath on the bathroom door

11:38

this one goes around the waist and I

11:40

That's right jog Tigger every day and everyone

11:42

goes. Oh and they're a little impressed Because

11:45

you can easily hold the leash and

11:47

jog could you not do you have

11:49

to be harness now? Of course spelunking

11:51

or something. Well, maybe it has you

11:53

know, much like our best infomercial products

11:55

Maybe it has multiple uses one. It

11:57

could drag you or you could you're

11:59

doing dog could drag you and

12:01

you could use it for auto

12:04

erotica. Oh my, my dream for

12:06

these guys. I bang out three

12:08

miles then I masturbate myself. Yeah.

12:12

Yeah. I remember once when I was like 17 my

12:14

grandmother gave me a stern warning. Like

12:17

no way. Yes. Why?

12:22

She gave me a warning about auto

12:24

erotics affixiation like you would talk to

12:26

your kids about fentanyl. You

12:28

know what I mean? They always

12:30

existed for the last seven years.

12:32

Yeah. Maybe you're at a party

12:34

and someone just hands you a pill and

12:36

you think it's a pharmacy that could have

12:38

fentanyl. She gave me that about auto erotics

12:40

affixiation. I remember like

12:43

halfway into it just going like, oh,

12:45

ew. Yeah. But.

12:48

So weird. That's weird.

12:50

Wow. For the grandmother to assume

12:52

that that's her role. To be fair to her, she didn't

12:54

see a lot of hickies on my neck. She saw

12:56

a lot of rope burns and probably did the math.

13:01

So all right. Here's another guy I

13:03

don't like but maybe you do.

13:06

I don't know. But

13:08

it's been driving me nuts. It's a look. I

13:11

saw it when I was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm

13:13

and Bruce Springsteen had this look.

13:17

Dudes who wear. Now you know

13:19

I don't like guys in vans, slip-ons,

13:21

adult males and I don't like adult males

13:23

in checkered vans, slip-ons. There's certain things I

13:25

don't like. It's like

13:27

ponytail pulled through the back of the ball cap

13:29

guy. I don't like any of these guys. There's

13:32

a hipster version. It is

13:35

boots but not cowboy

13:37

boots, like hiking boots. Like sort

13:39

of black, cool, hipster, lace-up boots.

13:41

Again, like you ever see these

13:43

guys in line at the airport

13:46

in security and they got to take

13:48

their fucking boots off? I

13:50

kick off a sketcher and I'm pissed.

13:52

These guys are like undoing stuff. The

13:55

least amount of time you can spend

13:57

on your ankles. That's a

14:00

good life. Like I've realized I'm so

14:02

lazy I can't even do regular sized

14:04

socks anymore. I have to do the

14:06

mini booties. The regular ones that come

14:08

halfway up the shin. That's like too

14:10

much struggle, too much investment, too much

14:12

time. I literally, if I

14:14

have socks that are the regular long ones that

14:16

come up the shin, I'll go to the hamper

14:18

and grab a pair of the shorties and just

14:20

go fuck this. I'm not going to do bad

14:23

for you. Good for you. I laugh at that

14:25

and I feel bad for having laughed. That's not

14:27

it. Same thing, I advanced the idea many years

14:29

ago and I've saved countless seconds that

14:31

have added up to minutes and probably howled at

14:33

this point by losing the M at the end

14:36

of A, M and P, M. What

14:38

do we need the M for? It's done both of them.

14:40

What do we need it for either one? No. 10

14:42

A or 10 P. We don't need M or

14:44

P, M. Now we've wasted five seconds. Never

14:47

getting it back. For years I felt that

14:49

way about 30 seconds on the microwave. 33,

14:52

man. Don't pick up that finger and drag it.

14:54

Oh, you know what? I have a 30 second

14:56

thought. I'm sorry. I have to interrupt because I

14:58

did get, there was one, like I

15:01

say, the feedback. I'm not done with the boots,

15:03

but I'll let you look. I don't want you

15:05

to be done with it. I just want you

15:07

to hear what one person, I

15:09

thought this was very strange, Ace. A

15:12

guy named Pruitt in Wichita after

15:14

my last visit here, he

15:16

dropped us all a line to say, can

15:18

we call it official that Damashek has a

15:20

vagina? Trying

15:23

to proclaim that nobody needs a microwave. We

15:25

get it, bro. You've been hanging out with

15:27

your liberal friends and you're so progressive. Leave

15:30

that shit at Starbucks. What?

15:32

What the? Because I said I don't need

15:34

a, I said, well, microwaves over

15:36

the course of the last two decades or

15:38

so, kind of being outmoded in my

15:40

opinion. Who wants to cook food in a microwave?

15:43

You push back at that. I don't know what

15:45

was. It doesn't, we don't have

15:47

to divide America along that. What is he mad about

15:49

that? He cooks over an open flame, like outdoors. You

15:51

know what I mean? He has like kindling and

15:56

logs and a skewer. He's skin to

15:59

rabbit. He just walks up to

16:01

living beasts and takes a bite. Oh, yeah Man

16:05

does it you progressive weirdo. All

16:07

right, so Bruce Springsteen and boots

16:10

this look You wear

16:12

the boots that lace all the way

16:14

up, right again I kind of call

16:16

them a hiking boot But old-school hiking

16:18

boot comes up higher and

16:20

then the pants are jeans and

16:22

they're peg leg But you cuff them

16:25

tightly so it's a tight cuff that

16:27

goes just over the top of the boot Feels

16:30

uncomfortable feels like work I

16:33

don't know what the look is like

16:35

I know the hipsters do the gene

16:37

like is the boss the boss can't

16:39

afford Jeans that fit that

16:42

are the proper length or he can't get

16:44

them hemmed or this thing. Why is the

16:46

cuff a look? I

16:48

know what you're getting at in the boot and the cuff This

16:51

guy must have to start prepping an hour

16:53

before he leaves the house with the whole

16:55

boot lace and then and then the cuff

16:57

first of all there has not been Probably

17:00

a week that's gone by over the

17:02

last 15 or 20 years that I

17:04

have not seen the guy who you

17:06

have lamented his existence the middle-aged former

17:10

Hairband guy who still has to tow that line with

17:12

the hair But he shortened it a little bit right

17:14

trying to blend in with society a little bit more

17:16

now these in his middle ages But he's holding on

17:18

to that look It's kind of

17:20

like that I think and I hear

17:22

what you're talking about because the hiking boot is

17:24

for somebody who properly has to go out and

17:26

hike There is the work boot

17:29

for the working man. Yeah swing in

17:31

the hand where between the two But this

17:33

is so it's not too far

17:35

from what we were just talking about cosplaying

17:37

for celebrities I'm a working man. How's the

17:40

boss right? Yeah, but also it's a little

17:42

bit like the clash 1979

17:45

look it's a little bit punk er From

17:47

the UK look and also if you don't like

17:49

you could as you said Adam get the boot

17:51

cut and just Let the jeans hang over the

17:53

boot, but then it just looks like a weird

17:55

shoe right? No, it's a boot because you're

17:58

seeing the bottom Cuffing

18:00

all the hipsters cuffed another

18:02

machine. All right moving on

18:05

somebody sent me a list of automotive

18:07

films, I think it was a top 10 list

18:10

of automotive films and That's

18:14

racing movies for a thrilling

18:16

watch and they come up

18:18

with these lists every once in a while

18:20

and it's days of thunder Now as I

18:22

have a few questions first off. I'm flatter

18:24

days of thunders number one Thunderbolt

18:27

is number two. I'll get into that because

18:29

you've never heard of it Death

18:31

race is number three the remake of

18:33

death race, which is interesting Talladega

18:36

nights a fine movie. I don't really think

18:38

of it so much a racing movie, but

18:40

all right That's not a movie of the

18:43

21st century. I contend I I agree formula

18:47

Racing dreams a doc Gran

18:50

Turismo a fine movie my movie

18:52

the 24-hour war that's number seven

18:54

then cars Which is a

18:56

much better movie than many movies above it is

18:59

number eight then my movie again winning the

19:01

racing life of Paul Newman is number nine

19:04

Grand Prix and Life

19:07

on the limit and then Ford v

19:09

Ferrari, which is very good racing movie

19:12

than Senna Which is

19:14

probably the best of all at the very bottom,

19:16

which is Weird. So then

19:18

I was like looking down the list and further

19:21

way. Why isn't Senna better than death race 2

19:23

or or Gran

19:26

Turismo or whatever. They're fine. But come

19:28

on Congratulations. That's a list

19:30

to be a offering's on the list.

19:32

But mmm-hmm. I thought this

19:35

movie thunderbolt What

19:37

is this? How did a movie make

19:39

a list of racing movies and I

19:41

make racing movies and my movies are

19:43

on Take up two slots on

19:45

lists and I've I've seen every other movie

19:47

on this list five times that I don't know

19:49

what this thunderbolt Movie was so

19:52

I pulled the trailer hmm for

19:54

thunderbolt right never heard of it from the

19:56

circa 1995 and we'll

19:59

just watch it you can talk over it because there's

20:01

no dialogue in it. All

20:05

right, cars pulling out of a

20:07

paddock. By the

20:09

way, not F1 cars, like

20:12

Chiracos and stuff. It's like

20:14

Volkswagen Rabbit. Yeah, like

20:16

since the

20:18

Volkswagen Rabbits and Miattas and

20:21

sort of nothing burgers spinning

20:24

out and that's motion and

20:26

whatever. Now,

20:28

what the hell? Now

20:31

this has B-movie written all

20:34

over it, but

20:36

Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan

20:38

single-handedly. Right. Now,

20:41

there's... There's a moth. All

20:44

right, keep it going. But

20:46

there's 14 seconds of car racing at

20:49

the beginning, then there's going to be

20:51

two and a half minutes of Jackie

20:53

Chan stunt fighting in

20:56

the middle. And

20:58

I don't know what part of this

21:01

qualifies it as a car racing film.

21:04

It's a Jackie Chan action

21:07

Kung Fu film that

21:09

nobody's ever heard of. A

21:14

lot of slow motion fights, a lot

21:16

of wheel kicks. A

21:18

lot of... They're big on the slow-mo. I love slow-mo

21:20

and fighting. It's

21:23

Jackie Chan, you know, doing what

21:25

Jackie Chan does, fighting

21:28

in an arcade. It's

21:32

been a while since I've seen a car on a track.

21:36

It's been a while, right? Now, they

21:38

don't want to give the whole movie a

21:40

ride. This one's above Sena and All My

21:43

Doc and everything else. Every

21:46

movie. It's number two. How does this

21:48

make you feel being a part of this list? I

21:50

take back the congratulations. Right. You're

21:53

behind it. Jackie

21:56

Chan, Thunderbolt.

22:01

cars peeling out the sand trap

22:03

by the sped up by the

22:05

film sped up of people people

22:07

racing no dialogue

22:10

bad sin Mazda spec

22:12

Miata and

22:15

cars this is a B

22:18

movie that's number this thing is have

22:22

you seen Ford v Ferrari have you

22:24

seen the trailer for Ford v Ferrari

22:26

it's like this is a film and

22:28

then there's this what

22:30

is the bit there's some joke of

22:33

this is the number two movie according

22:35

to August man best auto racing films

22:37

movies Oh Mike August in this my

22:39

car there's your answer yeah there's that

22:41

now it all makes sense the

22:44

answer is August

22:46

man is a Chinese

22:48

publication ah

22:51

so we got some home walking cooking

22:55

it's out of where where

22:57

is where Singapore all right so

23:00

I just want to say this for all

23:02

publications are struggling for credibility in this time

23:05

of fake news you can't do this you

23:08

can't just take a countryman and

23:10

just fucking channel jam him in

23:12

to your top 13 list on

23:14

a few well yeah but first

23:16

off there's no way this Jackie Chan

23:18

movie that no one's ever heard of

23:21

belongs on this list of very

23:23

notable automotive movies but

23:25

if anything just put it number nine

23:28

yeah then that number two you

23:30

know what the saddest part perhaps of this

23:32

whole thing is Jackie Chan

23:34

if I'm not mistaken is in cannonball

23:37

run too that would have made

23:40

sense that would have made you ace would have

23:43

been okay with that I would have I would

23:45

have a Biden by that but no

23:47

you shoehorned it into this list I'm

23:50

reading the summary though the the entire

23:52

third act climax is a car race

23:54

so I went to

23:56

rotten tomatoes last night because I do

23:58

show And

24:01

I'm riding tomatoes. It didn't, it had a

24:03

55 with the

24:05

audience, which is not fantastic and

24:08

no score with the critics because it

24:10

was not a big enough film to

24:12

even garner a critical review. Number

24:15

two. Number two. You

24:18

have to put it there. That's the other thing too. You

24:20

want to get it in there. You want to shout it

24:22

out, put it in the back end. I

24:24

take great umbrage with this list

24:26

now and now I'm feeling sort

24:29

of dubious and mixed about having

24:31

two of my offerings on this

24:33

list. Now again, also

24:35

I don't know how Senna gets

24:38

to the bottom. You know, arguably

24:40

Senna is arguably one of the best docs

24:42

of the last 10 years or 15 years.

24:45

Forget about automotive, whatever. Just

24:47

a great, a great doc. That's

24:49

at the bottom and thunderbolt is

24:52

number two. A shame. Yeah,

24:55

because really I thought thunderbolt and light foot

24:57

because that was... Right. That

24:59

was a movie. Right, but no. Yeah, I've

25:01

never heard of that one. That's a shame. Can

25:05

I go back to something too by the way?

25:07

Just before the, I mean the moment passed nine

25:09

minutes ago, but that won't stop me. Because

25:12

you were talking about shoes. I wanted

25:14

to share something too. Somebody

25:16

who I actually am Facebook friends with, I

25:19

noticed a few weeks ago was selling her

25:23

Birkenstocks. Now you understand what

25:25

I just said there. I said her

25:27

Birkenstocks as in used pre-worn. Pre-worn for

25:30

$75. She

25:32

was selling... Who

25:35

wants to... You shouldn't

25:37

go out and if you're an

25:39

adult, you shouldn't be... Certainly if you're a guy, you

25:41

shouldn't be walking around in Birkenstocks if you're a grown

25:43

man, shame on you. But okay,

25:46

the woman, it's the style of the

25:48

day. But you already

25:50

had... You wore them. You're going to buy

25:52

somebody else's shoes! Does she have any used

25:55

maxi pads or feminine napkins or anything else

25:57

she'd like to part with that she has?

26:00

that this is vile. And then I

26:03

mentioned it and people said, oh,

26:05

it's a whole black market. And

26:08

people get into it for perverse reasons. Oh,

26:11

that makes- Birkenstocks? Yeah,

26:14

I mean, look, it's gotta be a close

26:16

cousin to the foot fetish, right? I

26:19

mean, stiletto heels, okay, I could kinda

26:21

buy that. Your Jesus

26:23

feet? Your used Jesus

26:25

feet? No. Oh yeah. Yeah,

26:27

yeah. What the hell? Yeah, I

26:30

mean, people, porn stars will do panties.

26:33

You know, I don't know if there's a certification

26:35

process. Like, I don't know how we exactly know

26:37

you didn't put your fat sister in those panties

26:39

until I take the dog around the block once.

26:42

You know, we don't know who's breaking

26:44

those panties in. We don't know who's-

26:46

The female lead of Thunderbolt wore these

26:48

ones. That's right, but Birkenstocks. Yeah, so

26:50

whenever something doesn't make sense. So, but

26:53

you're exactly right. I'm sitting

26:55

home, I'm looking at this list. I

26:58

see Thunderbolt number two. Then

27:00

I go, what the fuck? And

27:02

then I see the trailer, I'm like, Jackie

27:04

Chan, what the fuck? And then it's like,

27:06

oh, the publication's out of China. Now it

27:09

all makes sense, right? And same with the

27:11

Birkenstocks. Who wants smelly old Birkenstocks? Oh,

27:13

weird German dudes wanna masturbate to

27:15

that. Now it makes

27:18

sense. I,

27:20

here's something else I've been thinking of that I,

27:22

cause I did show prep too. Can I, can

27:24

I just- Please. Do an addendum here real quick.

27:26

Oh please. And

27:28

I'm gonna add one. If you ever

27:31

can't figure out something, like

27:33

who buys this or what is. All

27:35

answers will be solved if you just fill

27:38

it in with blacks, gays,

27:40

or people to masturbate to.

27:44

If you go, who

27:46

leases car rims? You know what I mean? Like

27:48

who would lease car rims? That sounds like the

27:50

word. Oh, okay. Okay.

27:54

That, it'll solve the problem. Like when you

27:56

talk to people, like you go online and

27:58

the guy's selling a can. doll for

28:00

$8 and he gives you his apartment

28:02

and his address and you're like, what

28:04

kind of business money? Gay. You

28:07

know, that's all I'm saying. You

28:09

go black, you go gay or

28:11

masturbation. That'll solve every

28:13

conundrum you have in life. Like, oh,

28:15

who would? Why would? I don't get

28:18

it. Why would?

28:20

Solve just those three. Interesting. They'll

28:22

solve it. Interesting. I think

28:24

this kind of sets up because our world

28:26

is confusing and constantly updating. And yet there

28:29

are some things that maybe and so we

28:31

want things that express a

28:34

sense of consistency or things that

28:36

we can lean on, known entities.

28:40

And yet I think we overdo it sometimes.

28:42

Like for instance, in the 21st century, it's

28:44

a little weird that your

28:47

parents will still say stuff or like you might

28:49

say to your kids, like, hey, who do you

28:51

think we are? The Rockefellers? Let's update that one.

28:54

Like you made a million dollars. You know? Oh,

28:57

look who she is. A little nine year old

28:59

queen of sheep. She doesn't

29:01

know what the fuck you're talking about.

29:04

Yeah. Say Taylor Swift. The kids.

29:06

That's exactly right. Exactly. Same

29:09

thing. Wally Pipp was famously replaced

29:11

by Lou Gehrig and never got

29:13

his job back. But Drew

29:16

Bledsoe got replaced by Tom Brady. Alex

29:18

Smith got replaced by Colin Kaepernick and

29:20

Patrick Mahomes. And not what the Wally

29:22

Pipp reference is. Nobody knows who Wally Pipp

29:24

is. You think Donovan has any clue who

29:26

Wally Pipp is? Nope, no. People

29:29

still do this with the 85 Bears. There's

29:31

been plenty of good defenses since

29:33

the 1985 Chicago Bears. Now

29:36

here's the one I think we need to update because this

29:38

one's gone on for 500 some years. The

29:41

Mona Lisa as

29:44

the standard for beauty. I'm not

29:46

attracted. Let's update that. The Mona

29:48

Lisa, handsome-ish. Yeah. Not

29:51

by today's standards. And I

29:53

would argue by many day's

29:55

standards. Like I never thought

29:57

she was beautiful. And

30:00

somehow you're being

30:03

mean-spirited or somebody who's been dead for 600

30:05

years, by the way, too,

30:07

if you denounce it. Well, there's

30:09

a, the problem with the Mona

30:11

Lisa's, I think it was just

30:13

about out of the zeitgeist, and

30:16

then Nat King Cole came

30:18

up with a song. Mona

30:20

Lisa, Mona Lisa, Men have

30:22

named you. Yeah, and then

30:24

it was, it all came by. It

30:27

all came back. All right. Couple

30:32

thoughts. I was, I was

30:34

yelling yesterday about dogs and dogs at the

30:36

airport and now multiple dogs. The

30:39

last two times I've traveled, seen people with

30:41

two dogs traveling. I sent

30:43

you a picture, Chris, that someone forgot to bring up

30:45

or we should have brought it up or I should

30:47

have made a note of it. And I got the

30:50

JetSuite X in

30:52

Burbank. They have high top

30:54

tables. They had

30:56

a warning, a

30:59

placard on the table, on the high top,

31:01

like bar stool and a high top table.

31:05

It was a picture I sent you, Chris. I'm

31:08

going to look at the last pictures I sent you.

31:10

You can send. I'll,

31:12

I won't, I won't spoil it, but

31:14

we can bring it up. But evidently there's an

31:16

issue, not just with

31:18

people bringing their pets to the airport.

31:24

Can I say this? The

31:26

JetSuite X terminal in

31:30

Reno got moved about

31:32

half a block down the,

31:34

down the street. Yes,

31:36

there's two dogs. Now show the picture

31:39

of the last picture I sent you,

31:41

Chris. I think with the

31:43

placard. I just said the park. It

31:46

will not be the pictures of the dogs, but

31:48

it will be the pictures of the sign that

31:51

I sent. No pets on furniture.

31:54

Evidently people are now setting their dogs up

31:56

on the table or up on the bar

31:59

stool next While they sit

32:01

at wait it should we back there get

32:03

this sign made there is a big enough

32:06

issue where sign There needed

32:08

to be a declaration What

32:11

a what's it say under it blow

32:13

it up because we kindly ask that

32:16

all four-legged friends remain on the floor

32:18

and off The furniture. Thank you. Hey,

32:20

it should read hey narcissistic fuck. We

32:22

don't want your fucking dander on this

32:25

goddamn table But no

32:27

we kindly suggest yes So evidently there's

32:29

an issue with people placing dogs if

32:31

your dog's gonna be in here better

32:33

be in here to drag your furniture

32:36

Drag your that's right all your

32:38

stuff all your suitcases You

32:41

know how Oh

32:43

DFG is on Alright,

32:45

I'm gonna save this this next one. I'm

32:47

gonna talk to death rat guide death rat

32:50

guy Oh Hey,

32:53

is this Adam? Hey, what's up, dude? I've

32:55

been going bro going on maverick damn a

32:58

chef in studio, too. Oh Hey,

33:02

what's going on? How are you

33:04

doing dude? I'm doing good man.

33:06

What's going on with you, man? It's

33:10

all good where I accept it is

33:12

something at noon hmm puts

33:14

his uncle in the hospital Oh

33:19

It's always in the hospital. Yeah He

33:22

was on an airplane and sat

33:24

down. He was in first class.

33:26

Mm-hmm. He sat down a Quested

33:28

not it has to go to

33:31

the hospital, but he's resting comfortably.

33:33

Yeah Yeah,

33:39

they really get you with those April

33:41

Fool's jokes after April 1st that's that's

33:43

when it's easiest You know we

33:45

let our guard down Christopher

33:48

Hewitt is what poochies uncle did to

33:50

himself right? Mr. Belvedere famously did that

33:52

oh he did sat on a testicle

33:55

ruptured It they had to clear the

33:57

studio audience. I did not know that I'm

34:00

pretty sure that the true story map knows better

34:02

than i map i know

34:04

about the yet mister belvedere

34:07

the testicular torsion that poochies uncle

34:09

suffer sometimes at this time he just

34:11

sat on it i

34:14

don't know if that it was like it

34:16

that it was like a uh... like one

34:18

of those silver dollar pancake

34:21

all right i

34:24

missed the silver dollar pancake they were

34:26

a lot more ubiquitous by size alright

34:28

d f g i think we have

34:30

a we have an opening all

34:43

right okay

34:46

well you've got no how the game goes

34:49

i'm going to ask you topic

34:51

and you say if it's baby

34:55

all right we're

34:59

ready number

35:03

one the eclipse the

35:05

eclipse uh...

35:08

i i i feel about the eclipse i

35:10

feel about that way about the uh... aurora

35:13

borealis and all that kind of stuff people

35:15

talk about and talk about and talk about

35:17

i never really am

35:19

it's interested if they are and it

35:22

doesn't capture my imagination so

35:24

so they invented like

35:26

you have to take a shoe box and put

35:28

a two mirrors in it or something and then

35:30

poke a hole at it's the only way you

35:32

can really do it you have to get on

35:34

the roof your apartment building at three a m

35:36

on you know december twenty first you know and

35:39

it's always so is too much for

35:42

me it's we talk about it

35:44

a lot nothing really

35:46

comes out the other end for me

35:49

so i'm just gonna say it's much to

35:51

do about nothing so i'll go jay v

35:54

uh... the clips it is rare and i i

35:56

do like rare currencies happening every once in a

35:58

while and everybody can enjoy them But I

36:00

hear you're not supposed to look at an eclipse

36:02

directly now, which yeah, just

36:05

that ruins it for me I look at it

36:07

through use Birkenstock Once

36:10

Haley's Comet coming again, we'll

36:13

be dead. Oh, we'll be dead cuz hey

36:15

Haley's Comet hit When

36:17

I was like nine years old or something and they

36:20

said it's not coming and at the time they said,

36:22

you know 2045

36:24

or something which is like okay when that what is

36:26

it every 76 years? It

36:28

seems like 70 something years, but we'll

36:30

we'll figure it out Yeah,

36:34

next one's 2061 26 one I'll alert my son All

36:39

right. So what do we got we got I

36:42

got JV. I said JV. I'll go all

36:44

balls Because the

36:46

because the moon itself is a ball.

36:49

Mmm Well

36:53

the answer is According

36:56

to mr. Beecher models the

36:58

eclipse was named after an

37:00

unbeaten 18th century English bait

37:03

horse No, I'm

37:05

just kidding, dude Eclipse

37:10

the car You guys

37:12

are talking about you know the thing

37:14

with this son turns into a dark You

37:17

know goes dark. Yeah It's

37:21

David Maybe if

37:23

I look at that and I go

37:25

blind I'm not a

37:27

good enough in ball player to

37:30

be Tommy. Yeah We

37:37

also then went blind yeah, let

37:39

me see if there may be

37:41

some great magnet Kismet going on

37:44

here because you made your joke

37:46

about the Mitsubishi eclipse the sort

37:48

of early 80s Mitsubishi

37:53

Japanese sports sedan

37:55

offering in

37:57

cannonball two or three Jackie Chan

38:00

may have may have

38:02

driven a Mitsubishi

38:04

Eclipse. I'm pretty sure it

38:06

was a Mitsubishi and

38:09

it was unmarked. It was

38:11

probably like a 1983 Mitsubishi

38:13

Eclipse. If that's true, the great magnet

38:15

has spoken. Boy, would that be wild.

38:18

And in the meantime, we know that

38:20

Dawson is all balls on the Eclipse

38:22

because what's the moon made out of?

38:25

Jeez, Dr. Jeez all

38:29

subjects that include his beloved. I was

38:31

wondering how you're going to get in there.

38:33

That's a circle cheese for the record everybody.

38:36

All right. Now this time I broke

38:38

my own rule, but this time we'll

38:40

all secretly write down our answer and

38:42

then reveal it. Okay. All right. Okay.

38:47

The next one is socks

38:50

in porn. Wait,

38:55

what important? Stocks

38:58

in porn. No socks. Socks wearing

39:03

socks in porn. Ironic we can hear him.

39:05

Socks in porn. Or a lady. Or a

39:07

lady. A

39:15

dude or a lady wearing

39:19

socks. Socks naked

39:22

except for socks.

39:24

Jackie Chandra of a Mitsubishi

39:26

Starion. Wow. Pretty good

39:29

though. Mitsubishi. Still pretty good. And now

39:31

we need what year and what the

39:33

two look like because I'm telling you

39:35

they were pretty damn close. All right.

39:39

Can I say

39:41

one thing? Yes. Did Mitsubishi

39:44

Eclipse have the same

39:46

chassis as the Chrysler

39:49

Sebring? Oh,

39:52

it did. Yeah, the chassis.

39:55

Right? Yeah. Chassis.

39:57

Yeah. Random tidbits. Yeah. Yeah,

40:00

they would share platforms back then.

40:03

All right. Let's

40:06

see. Socks and

40:09

porn. I don't mind

40:11

it. It's not a help, you

40:14

know, in terms of positions, depending

40:16

on if a guy's standing, he's

40:18

on hardwood, he can go full

40:20

Tom Cruise, you know, with those

40:22

socks sliding right down the hall

40:24

there. Now,

40:27

it suggests a

40:30

level of laziness and

40:32

also suggests there's not going to be a

40:34

lot of cuddling afterward because this guy's going

40:36

to put his boots on, he's going to

40:38

leave like immediately thereafter. You have to watch

40:40

them. They're wearing it up. Yeah, like the

40:42

boss. I

40:46

feel like it's something I haven't seen

40:48

in a while, so you guys locked

40:50

in? Locked in. I'm going

40:52

all balls. I like the novelty of it. I

40:55

went JV. It takes me

40:57

out of it. Kind of, yeah,

40:59

just a little hiccup in the session. I'm

41:02

going all balls on the socks.

41:04

What I don't like, I like

41:06

no balls in pornography. In other

41:08

words, I don't need any fellas there.

41:11

It's like they're an interloper in what

41:13

I got going on with

41:15

her. What are you doing there, friend? Forget

41:18

your socks before you show up socks or otherwise.

41:20

I don't need you there. This

41:24

is an age-old question, and I'm going to put

41:26

it out to you as well,

41:28

because there's two ways to watch

41:30

porn. You can watch porn by

41:32

simply watching porn, or you can

41:35

put yourself into the porn and

41:38

be the guy, or get rid

41:40

of the guy altogether, and you're the guy. Do

41:42

you know what I'm saying? Or

41:45

you could join a couple of ladies. Yes, that's

41:47

what I'm saying. You put

41:49

yourself into the movie. That's

41:51

right. That's right. I'm vain.

41:53

Like I've said, narcissist is

41:55

one thing. Vain, like I

41:58

can't have somebody else. I can't have somebody else. might

42:01

show me up, might outperform me,

42:03

she might seem more interested in him.

42:05

I can't deal with that. So

42:08

you go with the zealot jack and

42:11

Chris, you put yourself in it or do you watch?

42:15

I think I put myself in it. Wow.

42:17

I think that means you're more man than

42:19

most. Dawson, are you in the

42:21

porn or are you watching the porn? I

42:23

can go both ways. Okay. And

42:26

like what happens when you watch a movie like-

42:28

Man on man, he can do it. When you

42:30

watch a movie like Godzilla versus King Kong, are

42:32

you in the movie? Are you like running in

42:36

place of the theater or are you watching it? Because

42:39

I'm pretty much the same with porn as I am

42:41

with Godzilla. Like I'm just here- Dawson

42:44

likes his preferred way is when

42:46

a woman uses a mozzarella stick

42:48

on herself. That's his favorite. So

42:50

you're saying you're both your watcher.

42:52

I'm a watcher. Okay.

42:55

All right. All right. So we all locked

42:57

in. I got all balls. I

43:00

got balls. Balls, Chris. If

43:02

you come over to the house, like there's

43:05

always porn on. It's

43:07

not because those are beating their

43:09

meat. It's just to relax. Yeah.

43:12

It's casual. It's

43:16

set in mood. Yeah.

43:18

Some people use scented candles, but

43:21

you got porn, right? Here's

43:24

an interesting question Mav brings up. They'll

43:26

dump the socks, the knee-high socks. Because

43:28

when do you ever see women walking

43:30

around in knee-high socks? Never. But in

43:32

porn, they do show up about like,

43:35

you know, one out of every- They

43:37

do like the boarding school things and

43:39

stuff like when they have school uniforms.

43:42

All right. What is it, Mav?

43:44

Is it JV or all balls? All

43:48

balls. It shows that the person

43:50

takes care of their foot hygiene.

43:56

All right. I'm two for two. What's

44:00

number three, Mav? Number

44:02

three. This point is a little more

44:05

in depth. Revenge.

44:09

Revenge. Oh. Yeah.

44:13

Sometimes I think about revenge, and

44:16

then you think, well, revenge is a dish

44:19

best served cold, meaning

44:22

kick it down the road. But

44:24

then you forget about it. That's

44:27

the problem, is the mojo for the

44:30

revenge goes away. If you've ever had

44:32

a shit neighbor, and the

44:34

neighbor does something shitty to you, and your impulse

44:36

is to throw some shit over the fence or

44:38

something like right back at them, and then you

44:40

think to yourself, I'll just wait a calendar year,

44:43

and then I'll do something shitty, and they'll never

44:45

connect it to me. But

44:47

then you lose your spirit. You

44:49

don't care anymore. No, I like to strike while the

44:51

iron is hot. Strike while the iron is hot. I

44:54

like to respond, but in a cowardly way.

44:58

I don't want them to know it was me. I just

45:00

like to read their DM's. This right there. Right.

45:03

Something like that is a for instance. But

45:06

there has to be a steeping

45:08

period for revenge. So if

45:11

somebody kicks you in the shin, and you

45:13

punch them in the shoulder, that's not revenge.

45:16

That's an immediate reaction. What's

45:18

the space between kicked in the shin

45:20

and punched in the shoulder? Revenge,

45:24

if there's immediate reaction, that's a bar fight.

45:26

And no one says there was revenge. It was just that

45:29

guy was sitting there, and he got shoved, and then he

45:31

punched that guy, and then that guy punched him back. I

45:33

think a five minute buffer. I

45:36

don't even think that's good. Either way, you're gonna have

45:38

to settle this one down at the station if you

45:40

respond that quickly. Right. So it

45:43

would revenge me. Guy

45:46

bangs into you at the bar. You

45:48

do nothing. You get up to go

45:50

to the bathroom, come back and dump

45:52

your beer on his head. Is that

45:55

revenge? Because there's been some

45:57

time. We have to give it some time. Otherwise

45:59

it's not. revenge it's a fight or

46:01

reaction yeah no yeah

46:04

that's too hot-headed that's not that

46:06

doesn't feel like revenge but I

46:08

also am with you about this thing

46:11

about like let karma take care of

46:13

this one but now that doesn't matter

46:15

that karma always takes them down no

46:17

doesn't that's my problem with it maybe

46:19

we should do it nationally like maybe

46:22

when you know they blow up

46:25

the Twin Towers or Hamas you

46:27

know goes to some Israeli music

46:29

festival and slaughters everyone maybe the

46:32

reaction she's like yeah all right and

46:35

then give it like six months and then

46:37

come in it just fucking tortured a place

46:39

like it would catch people off-guard

46:41

and if we'd seem less

46:43

impulsive yeah we and we as

46:45

a society enjoy suspenseful storytelling so

46:47

might right that would well I've

46:49

said for a million years we

46:51

need to bomb Germany again you

46:54

know what I mean just bomb them right now and

46:56

then they'll go what are you doing listen

46:59

next time you or anybody else

47:01

thinks about whatever know that you're

47:03

on an installment plan all

47:07

right revenge oh man all right

47:10

I'm you locked in I'm

47:13

locked in I'm going all balls I've

47:16

never been sure of that I mean all

47:19

balls of course I went

47:21

I went JV I'm still

47:23

under damage checks old lifestyle

47:26

just letting letting God handle it

47:28

all right what

47:31

the SAE didn't realize

47:35

is that when you breathe

47:38

when you take a mini pumpkin it

47:40

doesn't on its own doesn't sound

47:42

that dangerous you put

47:44

it mini pumpkin in a potato

47:46

gun and because of that damn

47:50

it becomes a very dangerous

47:52

weapon especially if it's been

47:55

in a freezer oh

47:57

wow Yeah,

48:00

it becomes a real projectile at that point

48:03

When those pumpkins were hitting

48:05

their house and those stems

48:08

were absolutely breaking shit

48:11

they thought twice about

48:15

Fucking with us So

48:18

the essay is fucked with you

48:20

guys, but you you you froze

48:23

those mini pumpkins And

48:27

you put them in a freezer But

48:32

that is a sick, best

48:34

served frozen Frozen,

48:36

not even just home Frozen

48:40

As if mini pumpkin Yeah

48:44

So They, they, they

48:46

admitted That

48:50

they were wrong You

48:52

were safe Effective The SAE

48:54

house Hell

48:57

yeah Alright so so it's

48:59

all balls Hell

49:04

yeah Yeah,

49:06

well post script what's not all balls is

49:09

whoever has to clean up those pumpkins Mmm,

49:11

right? Shek is a man

49:13

who comes out with a fruit list every year Yeah

49:17

And who marvels at the bounty

49:19

and the variety that

49:21

nature and God has to offer us

49:24

Lemon, lemon our reigning Lemon and I'm

49:27

with you a dark horse, but when you

49:29

when you lay out your case for a

49:31

lemon you make a very valid point Thank

49:33

you Now and by the

49:35

way in your world where we don't need

49:37

the P in front of the behind the

49:39

A or Sorry,

49:41

the M. Sorry the A M. We don't

49:43

need the M and we don't need the

49:45

P M We just put that put that

49:47

there also people

49:50

with your condescending like when

49:52

they say stuff like You know,

49:54

I'll get the email that says oh do

49:57

you want to do so-and-so's

49:59

Fox? show on Thursday in Culver City

50:01

and I'll go what time and they go 3

50:03

p.m. I'll

50:06

do the PM now. Hair

50:08

and makeup's at 3 a.m. No

50:11

because there's the creep out there like 3, 3.30

50:13

like p.m. right? Right.

50:17

I'm just kidding. I'm just saying.

50:19

They do it as a joke or yeah either way. Yeah.

50:22

Not winsome. Yeah. Oh I

50:25

might, but okay. So in that vein

50:28

and you love all the variety and

50:31

you love the fact that there's

50:33

now a kind of a big and a

50:35

small version of everything like you take a

50:37

tomato, you got the beefsteak tomato and you

50:40

got those little shitty jeweled you know crappy

50:42

mini tomatoes or whatever. There's some range

50:45

difference there. Is there

50:47

any more range than in the pumpkin? Is

50:51

there any creature on God's

50:53

green earth? Like if you take

50:55

dogs right, you got your

50:57

little teacup poodles right? You know a little

51:00

teacup poodle weighs two and a half pounds

51:02

right? Then you got your new Finland or

51:04

your Saint Bernard and those are 140 pounds

51:06

right? So

51:08

there's a chasm there. Mini

51:11

pumpkin like the one Mavs. The

51:14

one that's frozen for three weeks and then

51:16

put in his potato gun. Oh yeah. Those,

51:19

yeah. Those are

51:21

the size of a

51:23

tennis ball. The

51:29

world record for a pumpkin is 1900 pounds,

51:31

maybe 2000 pounds. I

51:35

mean the world record size of

51:38

a VW bug and the

51:40

smallest ones of the size

51:42

of a tennis ball. Where's

51:44

the more? There's no more range. I

51:47

mean while human beings you have Brad

51:49

Williams our mutual pal. And

51:52

you have DJ Burns the star of NC

51:54

State. From species. Hard to believe a little

51:56

bit. Same thing like a pumpkin. But

52:00

there's still only 200 pounds separating that. You

52:03

want your answer? Mm. Tiramisu. Tiramisu.

52:06

By the way, hot take, the

52:09

most overrated of all our

52:11

desserts. Yeah. Tiramisu.

52:13

Yeah. Take it. Take it. Well,

52:15

it's basically, it's flan.

52:17

Let's call it what it is. Sometimes. You're

52:19

calling it. But sometimes it's a cannoli shape.

52:21

Oh. Sometimes, I mean, it's like I got

52:23

all these different, sometimes it's a pudding. Sometimes,

52:25

I've, all these different variations,

52:27

and they all are meh. All

52:30

right. Yeah. You don't even bake it. Back

52:32

to the world record pumpkin, 2750 pounds.

52:38

Versus a one pound little. Oh,

52:40

you say one pound. Like four

52:42

ounces or something. That is a

52:44

chasm that does, you know,

52:46

that's a big elephant, that's a small.

52:48

We have Clydesdales, and we have little

52:50

miniature ponies. But they're not separated by

52:52

thousands of pounds. Interesting. Can't do more

52:55

in the gourd. Like there's no ceiling.

52:57

There's no ceiling. They just keep getting

52:59

bigger. All right.

53:01

Sorry, Mav. Where were we? It

53:04

takes where they

53:06

were going to do a dance on

53:08

our faces if we didn't clean up

53:11

all those pumpkins. That

53:13

was the teaks, right? Yeah,

53:16

I can't say it, but yeah. Aren't

53:18

you worried that they're going to get revenge on you

53:20

as revenge to low balls? Mm. Mm. With

53:24

revenge, they said that it makes

53:29

the whole world blind or some shit. Mm-hmm.

53:33

I thought everyone

53:36

is blind. Mm. Mm. I

53:39

got it. All right, let's get off the

53:41

philosophy. We got a giant pumpkin. So

53:45

I knew that if they got

53:47

a pumpkin, they were going

53:49

to be even more pissed off.

53:52

Than they were. But I

53:54

ordered this thing

53:57

with this Volkswagen bug.

54:00

This huge and the president

54:04

Pumps into his room and he

54:06

fixed a good pumpkin and

54:08

he's like I'm going to kill The

54:12

FG I'm going to kill all the doubt

54:14

the food gamut and I and

54:16

he and I say wait

54:20

knock on that pumpkin he

54:23

knocked on the pumpkin and I'll

54:26

pop a lady we hired

54:28

a hooker Cake

54:33

oh Like

54:35

it like under siege we did it

54:37

to make peace with that. Oh

54:40

wow That

54:42

is magnanimous a very generous offering

54:45

Alright, so and that was

54:47

that Blake Chambers. It was gonna go after you Yeah,

54:51

fuck him okay Like

54:54

like chambers. All right, let's do one

54:56

more The

55:00

last one is um Fishing

55:06

with live faith fishing

55:10

with live faith Now

55:13

they they tell you You

55:15

know, I've done this They go

55:17

and the problem is you got to put the hook through their eye Right

55:20

and it feels weird to their no I got

55:22

a hold them and you put a hook through

55:24

their nostril and their eye and you let them

55:26

go and like this Just hook it on their

55:28

tail. They're like, no, no, we got to go,

55:30

right? so This

55:33

first off they're probably relieved when they get

55:35

eaten by tuna Cuz if I just

55:37

took a hook and I said Dave I'm just poking your ear

55:39

and I'll pop it out your eye and then somebody put a

55:41

bullet in your head. You'd be like, thank you Right,

55:44

yeah the hero in movies That's a that's

55:47

a thing that's really started in like the

55:49

last 15 20 years a guy

55:51

is being burned at the stake or some awful

55:53

Death and then the hero shoot him dead to

55:55

spare You know like the

55:57

spare them the pain. Yeah, that's a classy move

55:59

That's what you want to do for worms. In

56:02

the movie with Robert Redford, the great Waldo

56:04

Pepper, somebody got in a horrible plane crash

56:06

from the 20s or 30s and was turned

56:08

over and

56:10

the plane was catching on fire like everyone's running.

56:12

The guy was trapped in there. And

56:15

Robert Redford's character picked up a two by four

56:17

and just smashed him over the head with it.

56:19

So they would want. Yeah, and then they put

56:21

the fire out and it turns out he would have been. He

56:24

would have smashed it. No. If

56:27

you find yourself dying a horrific death, would you

56:29

like me to end it for you? With a

56:31

two by four. Kill me! Would you be like

56:33

doing that? Because sometimes they do that. They're burning

56:35

alive, but they get so like, kill me, kill

56:38

me! You know, there's nobody else to do it.

56:41

I probably have a high likelihood of that

56:43

happening, but if it does, you have carte

56:46

blanche. All right, so

56:48

live bait, which you got

56:50

to use, but again, the hook. You got to hold it.

56:52

If you mess the hook up, then you mess the fish

56:54

up or the worm, then you

56:56

have to do it again so that fish

56:59

becomes useless, but it does catch the

57:01

best fish. It gets the world-class fish. Yeah, so

57:03

I'm going to say all balls. Oh,

57:05

well, I was going to write down all

57:08

balls too, but just saying. Dave, what do

57:10

you got? I'm going JV here because I'm

57:13

skittish enough that even if

57:15

that's how my fish get on my

57:17

plate, ultimately, is with somebody using live

57:19

bait to attract them, I don't need

57:21

the literal reminder that there's a worm

57:24

inside that thing that I'm eating right

57:26

now. Well, it's not a

57:28

worm. It'll be a minnow or something,

57:30

a chovy. If you didn't love the nose. The

57:33

whole thing, I have notes. Listen, I tried cooking

57:35

for about a year and a half once,

57:38

and then I checked out once

57:40

I had to do raw chicken. Oh,

57:42

yeah. That's

57:44

not for you to ingest. That's not something

57:46

you should be putting through your lips. No,

57:48

Dave. All right, what do you got, man?

57:53

Part of the fun of fishing

57:55

is tricking the fish, so

57:58

it's even better when it's in the water. a colorful

58:03

artificial worm. Plastic.

58:08

So not JB

58:11

because it's too real. Oh, you

58:13

like the lure. Yeah,

58:17

because you catch a fish with it,

58:19

like this plastic rubber

58:21

thing, and it's like, you idiot,

58:23

you thought that was a real

58:26

fish? Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah, you can

58:28

mock the fish as you're cleaning it. Taking

58:30

down ladies, like shooting fish in a barrel,

58:32

that when he's not doing that, he's out

58:34

fishing with not real bait. All right, what's

58:36

the final score? We got a tie ball

58:38

game. Oh, no. Damn

58:40

it, Shagonez, 23. All right, we need

58:42

to do a tie breaker. All right.

58:47

It's a lightning round. Okay.

58:51

Okay, so you can't

58:53

even think about it too much. You just have to

58:55

say it. All right. Human

59:00

sacrifice. Ha ha ha ha

59:02

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

59:04

ha ha ha ha ha. I'll go with all

59:07

balls. Okay, I'll go JB in that

59:09

case. All right. Big

59:14

quiz lock the monitor. Oh, it's a tie.

59:17

He's out. JB.

59:24

Oh, good. Because? Because

59:27

that person could be used to

59:30

work or do something else

59:32

useful. Oh, wait, no, all

59:34

balls. Because if you don't

59:36

sacrifice the person, something

59:39

bad will happen to you. Yeah, the crops are

59:41

gonna be dry. All right, I'll

59:43

take the win, Maverick. All

59:45

balls. Is it usually an attractive young

59:47

woman, though? Yeah, she

59:50

could be a prostitute. Right,

59:52

so JB. We don't want her

59:54

dying, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, good. But then

59:56

what about the gods? But you gotta appease the

59:58

gods. Okay. Wait,

1:00:00

is it all balls or JV? All balls.

1:00:04

Okay, I'm taking the

1:00:06

win. Let's do our outro. We

1:00:12

got more stuff to get through. The

1:00:14

first in sacrifice could also be you, too.

1:00:17

That's true, or a loved one. You

1:00:19

can shoot Deaf Rat Guy tweet, by the way,

1:00:21

at Deaf Rat Guy. I

1:00:24

think that's something to promote, too. Venmo?

1:00:27

Yeah. Josh-Gardner-101

1:00:31

is where you can go if you want

1:00:33

to do a little Venmoing, right? Right. I

1:00:36

think his buddy Josh might be

1:00:38

working on something. Oh, is your buddy Josh working on

1:00:40

something? He

1:00:42

is doing a new album with the

1:00:45

producer, Chris Lata Mana.

1:00:49

Oh, that's why Chris knows or cares. Yeah.

1:00:53

All right. He

1:00:55

is asking for a donation

1:00:58

to help with the

1:01:00

album to be engineered properly.

1:01:02

Okay. All right. Well,

1:01:05

I know your buddy Josh does a great job

1:01:07

at the music. I mean, Winter Bush is an

1:01:09

all-time classic album. People should

1:01:11

avail themselves. Minstas, Pink Finger. That's

1:01:13

interesting. Pink Finger. Classic.

1:01:15

Classic Singalong, right? Yeah. We

1:01:18

can work it out. It's awesome. That's

1:01:20

my favorite. That's one of my favorites, too. Catalog is

1:01:22

right up there with Billy Oceans in my book. Maybe

1:01:24

above. Yeah. Josh

1:01:26

Dash Garner Dash 101. Okay.

1:01:30

Thanks, Mav. All right. We'll

1:01:32

take a break. We got the news and we

1:01:34

got March Madness Madness, and we'll do that right

1:01:36

after this. Simply Safe

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simplysafe.com/adam. There's no safe

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like Simply Safe. It's

1:02:52

time for Nicaraguan Name That

1:02:54

Movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo.

1:02:57

See if you can guess which movie this

1:03:00

famous line is from. You

1:03:02

never heard of the Millennium Falcon? She

1:03:05

made the casserole in the last 12 parcels.

1:03:11

If you said Star Wars, A New Hope.

1:03:13

You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon? It's

1:03:16

the ship that made the Kessel run in less than

1:03:18

12 parsecs. You're correct. Now,

1:03:20

back to the show. Oh,

1:03:23

that is Damoshek's favorite line

1:03:25

of all movies. She's bad enough for you,

1:03:27

old man. Yeah. All

1:03:30

right. So, we got some

1:03:32

news, but we got

1:03:35

March Madness Madness as well. We gotta

1:03:37

finish off the irate eight. Mm-hmm. All

1:03:40

right. It's

1:03:42

time once again for the big rants of

1:03:45

March Madness Madness. Yesterday's irate eight

1:03:48

saw a chick think battle for

1:03:50

the ages in the California conference.

1:03:52

In the end, the chick

1:03:55

who thinks catalytic converters are super easy

1:03:57

to steal motored her way to the...

1:04:00

furious for when Nithy Arana took

1:04:02

out Georgi Asko. And

1:04:04

in the classics conference, a first

1:04:06

timer to the tournament, cherry tomatoes.

1:04:09

At their hopes, busted by click

1:04:12

it or ticket, as

1:04:14

the 2023 conference winner tries for a repeat.

1:04:17

Today we continue the irate eight

1:04:19

starting in the big government contest.

1:04:22

Will voter ID get their ballot

1:04:24

punched to the next round or

1:04:26

will they be kicked off campus

1:04:29

by pro-Hamas protesters? Let's

1:04:31

do voter ID. All

1:04:35

right, let me start with that.

1:04:39

Look, can we just settle this and go,

1:04:41

you get an ID at birth? You get

1:04:43

a social security number at birth? You get

1:04:46

a number assigned to you when you're born?

1:04:48

Why not just give you a fucking ID?

1:04:50

We'll take the picture on your 18th birthday,

1:04:52

but every American will have an ID. This

1:04:55

notion of like, well, there's poor people and

1:04:57

there's black people. It's the most insulting thing

1:04:59

on the planet. The most racist thing on

1:05:02

the planet and it suggests black people can't

1:05:04

avail themselves of a fucking ID in 2024. And

1:05:07

if you really do care, we

1:05:09

have things that we do care about.

1:05:12

We put the word mobile at the

1:05:14

backside of them. We have book mobiles,

1:05:16

we have blood mobiles, we have ID

1:05:20

mobiles. That's what we need. Take your

1:05:22

fucking blood mobile, take your breast screening

1:05:25

mobile, take your book mobile, take your

1:05:27

old mobiles, and then just put an

1:05:29

ID on it and drive it into

1:05:31

the inner city and go find these

1:05:33

imaginary neighborhoods that nobody actually lives in

1:05:36

because they don't have a fucking ID

1:05:38

and give them a fucking ID. Here's

1:05:40

the hypothetical for you, Shaq.

1:05:43

Would you rather your child live in

1:05:46

America and be confined to a wheelchair

1:05:48

full time, but with an ID

1:05:50

or be completely able-bodied, living in

1:05:52

America in modern times and

1:05:55

not have an ID? Which life would be

1:05:57

more limiting? I would

1:05:59

argue. I would much rather have

1:06:01

my kid can find away fucking wheelchairs

1:06:04

and try to navigate our

1:06:06

modern society With no

1:06:08

ID no airports no federal buildings

1:06:10

no hotels no travel No, life

1:06:12

nothing at all with ID so

1:06:15

if you really fucking give a

1:06:17

shit Put it on an ID

1:06:19

mobile and hit the fucking inner city you

1:06:21

hypocrite, but you don't care Oh Hamas

1:06:27

Protesters Oh pro Hamas.

1:06:29

It's really they're not pro Hamas

1:06:31

They're really anti stepdad who molested

1:06:33

them. I've never seen more fucking

1:06:35

angry 19 year old bitches in

1:06:38

my life You don't even

1:06:40

know what the fuck you're talking about two

1:06:42

people and also we do this argument all

1:06:44

the time It's like well, it's it's not

1:06:46

damn. I mean, it's not the good people

1:06:48

of Palestine Palestine's a peaceful place We want

1:06:50

to raise their kids there and everything. It's

1:06:53

Hamas. It's their government. It's their god. Well,

1:06:55

okay Let's do some math. Let's

1:06:57

just say the United States was a

1:06:59

great and peaceful place But we just

1:07:01

let the Klan run everything we voted

1:07:03

for the Klan every year everyone they

1:07:05

Congress Everyone was as a president everybody

1:07:08

the school board leader everyone's clan member

1:07:10

right and then you go but not

1:07:12

the United States They're peaceful people. They're

1:07:14

not anti black. They're not anti immigrants

1:07:17

They just vote in the Klan and let

1:07:19

the client fucking run their country every fucking

1:07:21

year Well a certain point that is who

1:07:24

you are. That is what you want.

1:07:26

So yes Fuck

1:07:28

that you guys are protesting something You know

1:07:30

nothing of and we should run your ass

1:07:32

out of this goddamn country and also let's

1:07:34

just do this if it's it's

1:07:36

modern Era if you live in a climate if

1:07:38

you live in a country if you live in

1:07:40

a space that has 500,000

1:07:44

miles of tunnels hand-dug, that's a

1:07:46

bad sign. That is a

1:07:48

very bad sign for your civilization 2024

1:07:51

and you guys are still tunneling into

1:07:53

the earth. Yeah, they mostly live in

1:07:56

the tunnels underneath the children's hospital guilty

1:07:58

bitch Just

1:08:03

pick a winner. Okay. Oh

1:08:05

boy. I thought Pro Hamas was

1:08:07

the favorite because of, it's a

1:08:10

recent hot topic, but

1:08:12

the passion in the voter ID rant,

1:08:14

especially with the hypothetical of what you

1:08:16

would rather, what kind of life your

1:08:18

son would... You gotta take

1:08:20

wheelchair over no ID. No ID's just

1:08:22

like you have zero life, right? I

1:08:25

think voter ID gets it. I

1:08:27

know what you're getting at, but the

1:08:30

Pro Hamas, young women in

1:08:32

particular, and women's rights

1:08:34

and all of that, they overlap

1:08:36

on the Venn diagram of what

1:08:38

Hamas believes. I like

1:08:40

the queers for Hamas. The queers

1:08:42

for Palestine. That's

1:08:45

my favorite group. Yeah.

1:08:47

Loco. I mean,

1:08:49

inexplicable. Inexplicable. But what do you say?

1:08:51

Check. You got a vote? Oh,

1:08:54

definitely. Advancing Pro Hamas supporters. Mount

1:08:56

Dawson's got to settle it then.

1:09:00

Looks like Pro Hamas is going to make it to the next

1:09:02

round. Next

1:09:06

up from the pop culture conference, a

1:09:09

battle to see who will be Latin

1:09:11

next out of the tournament. It's

1:09:15

J.Lo versus the

1:09:17

fired Spanish soccer president.

1:09:19

Let's see J.Lo. All

1:09:21

right. First up, J.Lo.

1:09:23

I watched the whole doc on the making

1:09:25

of her halftime show at the Super Bowl.

1:09:27

And all she did was cry about the

1:09:30

kids in the cages and at the Mexican

1:09:32

border. And she's like, we must need representation

1:09:34

of these children. And I want to do

1:09:36

a whole motif where there's kids in cages

1:09:39

and cages and kids. And then you smash

1:09:41

cut to the Super Bowl halftime show. And

1:09:43

that bitch is just shaking her fart tank

1:09:45

the entire time in a unit. I

1:09:48

don't know how you shaking your asshole

1:09:50

gets kids out of cages in the

1:09:52

border. That is a nice try. But

1:09:54

I oftentimes think of Ben Affleck and

1:09:56

her. She makes all these stupid fucking

1:09:58

videos and these horrible. movies and nanny

1:10:01

of the year and all this kind of

1:10:03

bullshit third wife's club and everything Ben

1:10:05

Affleck whatever you think of the guy

1:10:07

he's an artist he makes great films

1:10:09

he's a great actor he's a great

1:10:11

director he's a great writer he has

1:10:13

to fucking bite his lip every time

1:10:15

she tells him she's got an idea

1:10:17

for another fucking film let me guess

1:10:19

you shake your ass to a latin

1:10:22

song he has to

1:10:24

just that must be the best pussy in

1:10:26

the world because he has to be disgusted

1:10:28

with her or kiss the face. And

1:10:34

now fired Spanish soccer president

1:10:38

oh this guy kisses

1:10:41

a soccer player in a

1:10:43

celebratory smooch that lasted two

1:10:45

tenths of a second and

1:10:47

he has a three year

1:10:49

suspension from coaching or being

1:10:51

the president of Spanish soccer

1:10:53

first off I put

1:10:55

a curse on all women Spanish

1:10:57

soccer now I hope you bitches

1:11:00

get the curse of the fucking

1:11:02

bambino I hope you never win

1:11:04

another world cup you assholes this

1:11:06

guy did nothing and he got

1:11:08

fucking railroaded after winning you bitches

1:11:10

a world cup that's how you

1:11:12

fake it he gets up on

1:11:14

the fucking podium in front of

1:11:16

a hundred thousand people and celebrates

1:11:18

and you banish him out to

1:11:20

the corn field for hugging and

1:11:22

smooching somebody the kind of kissing

1:11:24

you see in the audience of

1:11:26

the Oscars every single time someone

1:11:28

wins best director best they get

1:11:30

the guy they kiss him right

1:11:32

on the face male on male

1:11:34

female on female it is insane

1:11:36

and it's also insane that we've

1:11:38

taken our insanity our me too

1:11:40

movement and we've taken it abroad

1:11:43

we've we've taken it to other

1:11:46

countries he got me too Tom

1:11:48

B. Ed. me

1:11:50

Tom B. Ed. it means

1:11:53

too in Spanish. me

1:11:55

Tom B. Ed. me Tom B. Ed.

1:12:00

Oh boy. I

1:12:02

mean, I think the Spanish soccer

1:12:04

president takes it. You put a

1:12:06

curse on the whole team and

1:12:08

you came up with a new

1:12:10

phrase. Mi tambien. Mi tambien. He's

1:12:13

a hot-blooded Latin lover his entire

1:12:15

life. He surely has been practicing

1:12:17

that. Isn't it legitimately? When

1:12:19

I saw this story, whatever it was two months ago, what

1:12:22

I'm sure his reaction was like, okay,

1:12:27

this is all I've ever known is you kiss

1:12:29

people when they do something different. Maybe

1:12:32

I don't know. Yes, we're celebrating. Everyone's

1:12:34

like hugging and kissing on a podium.

1:12:37

J-Lo, I feel

1:12:39

like there's something weird going on there

1:12:41

because of the range. You mentioned Ben

1:12:43

Affleck, but of course that's her

1:12:46

current love. Look at the men

1:12:48

who she's lined up. It's a weird range.

1:12:52

It's not like she has a type. I don't

1:12:54

know how to trust people like that. I like

1:12:56

the women. I may change my mind on J-Lo

1:12:59

because she does it. Britney Spears is every once

1:13:01

in a while you snatch up a backup dancer

1:13:04

and you date them for three years.

1:13:06

That's basically like you just going, I

1:13:08

need a servant for three years because

1:13:10

that's essentially the relationship. I'm going

1:13:12

to sit in a bathtub. You bring me food. This

1:13:16

isn't a big time thing. I

1:13:19

can take it really. Yeah, I know

1:13:21

what you're saying. Yeah. And then what was the guy's

1:13:23

name? Mark Anthony. Mark

1:13:27

Anthony to Ben

1:13:29

Affleck. Something ain't

1:13:31

right there. Something's going on. And

1:13:33

I'm resentful of J-Lo because Affleck

1:13:35

took her over Anna Darmus. Makes

1:13:37

me think something's wrong with Affleck.

1:13:40

Yeah. Yeah. I forget about A-Rod

1:13:42

too. I don't forget about A-Rod.

1:13:44

And A-Rod, right. Yeah. Well, advancing

1:13:46

the pro-Hamas protesters and the fired

1:13:49

soccer Spanish, Spanish soccer president. Check

1:13:51

your brackets at adamcarola.com and tune

1:13:53

in tomorrow for more March

1:13:56

Madness Madness. All

1:14:00

right, now we got some news

1:14:02

cooking. We do, yeah. So we

1:14:04

know that solar eclipses are

1:14:07

JV. There

1:14:10

is a solar eclipse coming on Monday and

1:14:13

inmates in New York are suing the

1:14:15

state corrections department over

1:14:17

the decision to lock down prisons during the

1:14:19

solar eclipse. They

1:14:21

said it's their constitutional right to practice their

1:14:24

faith and this is preventing

1:14:26

them from taking part in a religiously significant

1:14:28

event. What time does it take place? I

1:14:31

mean look, fall three. At three?

1:14:35

Pier. Oh, that's

1:14:37

right. Because

1:14:40

if it takes place during rec time

1:14:43

or something, then maybe that's an

1:14:45

argument. But if it's at one

1:14:47

in the morning and I don't know if it can

1:14:49

be, does it have to be light outside? I don't

1:14:51

know. They're suing. I don't know.

1:14:53

They're suing. Man. How

1:14:56

do you get this lawsuit together? I

1:15:01

don't know. What time? Someone

1:15:03

else find out what time. Does

1:15:08

it have to take place about the same

1:15:10

time? Each

1:15:12

year. About 10 a.m.

1:15:14

So if they're out and they're playing handball, now

1:15:17

they're saying it gets dark and we don't

1:15:19

want trouble. I mean listen,

1:15:22

here's the deal. We

1:15:26

as a society decide

1:15:28

that you need to live in

1:15:30

a small cage with other Americans

1:15:32

in small cages. All

1:15:35

rights are gone at this point. I

1:15:37

love thinking about the war in the

1:15:39

Shawshank, fielding this request. You're

1:15:41

violating my rights to practice my religion. What

1:15:44

would that guy say? I'm thinking

1:15:46

of violation. Let me lube up this nightstick. Yeah,

1:15:48

yeah. Hey Sarge, use that

1:15:50

nightstick on this guy. He wants some

1:15:52

religious freedom. Yeah. All

1:15:55

right, well, so the total eclipse

1:15:57

is around 3.15 p.m. Oh,

1:16:01

I got 10 a.m. To 12 and

1:16:03

it's probably West Coast. Yeah

1:16:05

something. Okay But so

1:16:08

they the thing is though they're they're

1:16:10

locking down the prisons so that

1:16:12

the Individuals remain

1:16:14

their housing units except for emergency

1:16:17

situations. No visitations and nearly two

1:16:19

dozen prisons And

1:16:21

so but they're like we got to see this eclipse.

1:16:24

Yeah I'm

1:16:26

fine with it again. You you live

1:16:28

in a cage. We raised you in

1:16:31

a shark cage Essentially, but

1:16:33

also our humanities coming out. We're sparing

1:16:35

your eyeballs from the right. That's a

1:16:38

weird message too But yeah, but there

1:16:40

can be no greater violation That's

1:16:43

my whole thing of like when they when they do that thing

1:16:45

when they go Back

1:16:47

to jail. Oh these kids they're separated.

1:16:49

They're in cages It's a part of

1:16:52

like they walked here from Honduras and

1:16:54

flip-flops This is better. This

1:16:57

is actually better than what they were doing

1:16:59

They were just on the baton

1:17:01

death March walking here now at least they're

1:17:03

in a facility And there's air conditioning in

1:17:05

a weird blanket in a video game So

1:17:08

better to be blind though for the rest

1:17:10

of your life if you're in for the

1:17:13

full stretch Better to be

1:17:15

blind and see your reality, right? Yeah,

1:17:17

but then you won't see the guy coming at

1:17:20

you with the shank. Oh wait a minute Shaw

1:17:22

shank. Oh never thought

1:17:24

about that so

1:17:28

the They said that 23

1:17:30

facilities in New York will experience total darkness

1:17:33

for about one and a half minutes That's

1:17:35

why it's approximately three and a half minutes.

1:17:38

So no visitations. And yeah, that's yeah. All

1:17:40

right So the

1:17:42

inmate might trip on something so they don't want that

1:17:44

to happen that could be chaos

1:17:46

that's fine So,

1:17:49

all right Shakira

1:17:51

hmm. I made some comments that

1:17:54

oh her kids. Yeah. Yeah, is there

1:17:57

hair bothersome to you? Kara's

1:18:00

hair. How sad, I

1:18:02

can't picture it. It's all kind of poofy

1:18:04

and dry and weird and kinky and it's

1:18:06

like all over the place. It's like mid-80s.

1:18:08

They want to be dreads but they're not

1:18:10

yet. I don't, you know, she's one of

1:18:12

these people, I think

1:18:16

she is the female Mark

1:18:18

Anthony in that,

1:18:21

oh, she's hot Latin blooded, beautiful, song-chase

1:18:23

and it's like not really that hot.

1:18:25

Like when you really get a good

1:18:27

look at her face, it's not that

1:18:30

symmetrical. Like there's, but

1:18:32

Mark Anthony's the same way. Like just because

1:18:34

you're not fat and you sing in Spanish

1:18:36

doesn't make you a heartthrob. You know, he

1:18:38

looks like a wet rat, right? Yeah. And

1:18:41

she's not, the hair's too much, there's

1:18:43

something about it. She's not that hot. Speaking

1:18:45

of the Super Bowl halftime show, it's her

1:18:47

and J.Lo and I thought, I was always

1:18:49

thinking like why is Shakira there? Why

1:18:52

do we need Shakira for? Her

1:18:54

or Mona Lisa? Yeah, they're both

1:18:57

like, they're both six and a half. Like

1:18:59

she's just basically training

1:19:01

wheels for J.Lo's ass. Just

1:19:04

let J.Lo's ass take the limelight. Let

1:19:06

it shake in the name of all those kids

1:19:08

in cages. Her heart breaks for her, you know,

1:19:10

while she's shaking her ass the entire time and

1:19:13

try humping a mic stand and stuff like that in

1:19:15

the name of equality. Yeah, yeah,

1:19:18

Shakira doesn't, I think, I

1:19:21

don't think, I think we've done one of

1:19:23

those things where we think there's a lot.

1:19:26

Like we go, oh yeah, Shakira, yeah, yeah,

1:19:28

she's on there, but she doesn't need to

1:19:30

be on any of these lists. Yeah. I

1:19:32

don't think so. Can we all just name

1:19:34

one song she's done? Well

1:19:36

I don't care for her voice. Right,

1:19:38

she's not that hot, her voice, her hair's

1:19:41

frizzy. You know what it is? It's

1:19:43

the, that it's the shaking of

1:19:45

the bum that you associate with like

1:19:47

guys like that. It's what's her name.

1:19:50

I can't think of it, it was

1:19:52

just on, hosted Saturday Night Live a

1:19:54

few weeks ago with the bosoms. That's

1:19:56

like her thing, the pictures of Sydney

1:19:59

Sweeney. The Me: I was interested

1:20:01

when I was watching that and because I

1:20:03

wasn't aware of her. But then there was

1:20:05

a lot of fall out to match boob

1:20:07

Pixar at all. That's all it's. I'm. Wondering

1:20:09

where Adam Corolla comes out? Because

1:20:11

you're You're a long time outspoken

1:20:13

fan of bosom. So ah, okay,

1:20:15

my bosom thought. My

1:20:18

bosom thought is i I go

1:20:21

back to was strange things What

1:20:23

was that movie. Strains.

1:20:26

Days. Was. A strange since

1:20:28

we're who just won the Academy award or

1:20:31

skyn the when they can reward for strangers.

1:20:33

Oh Emma the Emma Stone or was more

1:20:35

thing for things I keep going. Strange things

1:20:37

for sex arts. Emma Stone it

1:20:39

is Naked that entire movie that this

1:20:42

literally they saw a second half of

1:20:44

the movie our ten minutes a her

1:20:46

just. Fully. Naked everywhere all the

1:20:48

time. And. I

1:20:50

heard or nudity is kind of like.

1:20:53

Hum. How you

1:20:55

feel it A Brazilian state place when

1:20:57

you're like no more Me I've had

1:20:59

nothing state of had never your survey

1:21:01

of some softer line integral Isis I

1:21:03

don't want to see more building I

1:21:05

just don't want to see me more

1:21:07

beasts. I thought, your love beef? I do

1:21:09

read up on thugs. I can't do anymore.

1:21:11

It's that's how I felt about her nude.

1:21:14

But. In all these movies.

1:21:17

See. Emma Stone

1:21:19

is a is in a top

1:21:21

like him, she may be aaa

1:21:23

top are some, but she sees

1:21:25

puree cops and a top naked

1:21:27

all the time is just. If

1:21:30

you have a bosom. That. It's

1:21:33

salacious and I'm say like. Are.

1:21:35

They topless or not, is a woman

1:21:37

allowed to be naked or not? He

1:21:40

don't. I mean if if see. If.

1:21:42

Sweeney was in that role. They they people

1:21:44

are one that's that's too much darker. Come

1:21:46

on, that's too much as to what's topless.

1:21:48

But they're really not saying topless. Their sakes

1:21:51

poser me now. Plus this, you know because

1:21:53

it's whether it is. If you if there's

1:21:55

a chip with a big huge rak. and

1:21:58

you go to pay to new They'd

1:22:00

go get the fuck out of here. You just want to

1:22:02

see if she's an a-cup now. You're an artist There's

1:22:06

no problem. Oh, it's that or a bowl of

1:22:08

fruit, but if you're posing me you can't

1:22:10

and so if you look at all the movies Where

1:22:14

there's a naked chick there's unless they need

1:22:16

it and that unless it's like the movie

1:22:19

Hooper or something and Bert Reynolds There's something

1:22:21

check, you know jumping out of a cake

1:22:23

or some some shit like that unless

1:22:26

they need They

1:22:28

don't need it. It's all art and it's

1:22:30

all back to the a-cup. So what we

1:22:33

do is She can

1:22:35

shake, you know JLo and Shakira can shake

1:22:37

their ass until the fucking cows come home

1:22:39

No one says anything But if Sweeney gets

1:22:41

on SNL shows some cleavage cleavage, I was

1:22:43

like, hey without we've crossed the line Like this is

1:22:46

this is no longer art. I

1:22:48

got across the line. Okay. I got

1:22:50

you. That's interesting Yeah, I think it's

1:22:53

right Shakira does something that you like

1:22:55

guys like when women do that And

1:22:58

so that like you're supposed to feel

1:23:00

let's let's put let's put this hypothetical

1:23:02

out there Emma Stone

1:23:04

was legitimately naked for one

1:23:06

hour this film one

1:23:08

hour of full frontal every position

1:23:11

Tits tits and more tits naked. No one said

1:23:13

a word Like I went and

1:23:15

saw it with somebody and I was just sitting there

1:23:17

with her going I didn't know this whole movies about

1:23:19

Emma Stone being naked was like she was getting interviewed

1:23:21

and talk about what a great character and Academy

1:23:24

Awards and stuff. There was no that's up

1:23:27

If that was a if she had a D

1:23:29

cup, we'd know Going in is

1:23:32

what I'm saying And then it would also

1:23:34

cease to be art and then the director

1:23:36

would get accused of using her and her

1:23:38

bozo So which is it society

1:23:40

comes a smudge that that's what I'm saying. Yeah.

1:23:43

Okay. I'm picking up what you're laying down.

1:23:45

I think yeah Thank you. Yeah, I agreed

1:23:47

to All right.

1:23:49

Let's see here. So Shakira was asked

1:23:52

about Barbie and she said my

1:23:55

sons absolutely hated it They felt it was

1:23:57

a masculating and I agree to a certain

1:23:59

extent. I'm raising boys and want them

1:24:01

to feel powerful too while respecting women.

1:24:03

I like pop culture when attempts empower

1:24:05

women without robbing men of their possibility

1:24:07

to be men to also protect and

1:24:09

to provide, I believe in giving women

1:24:11

all the tools and the trust that

1:24:13

we can do it all without losing

1:24:15

our essence, without losing our femininity. I

1:24:19

think that men have a purpose in society and

1:24:21

women have another purpose as well. We complement each

1:24:23

other and that complement should not be lost. Yeah,

1:24:26

that's controversial. It is. Men

1:24:29

and women. Yeah. Yeah, you

1:24:31

know, but the whole thing is, I just want to

1:24:33

tell Hollywood and this one I want

1:24:35

to tell society. You

1:24:37

can make fun of white dudes all you

1:24:39

want. We don't give a fuck. It's

1:24:42

basically like if

1:24:44

you ever go out and you

1:24:46

do like a corporate-y thing and

1:24:49

it's all just a bunch of super rich

1:24:52

lawyers, like super rich lawyers, you

1:24:55

can go out there and talk about all the

1:24:57

lawyer jokes you want. All these guys are bottom

1:24:59

feeders and amines, they're all just laughing their ass

1:25:01

off. But they're smoking, they're laughing all the way

1:25:04

to the bank. You know what I mean?

1:25:06

I will make fun of Mark Garagas to his

1:25:08

face constantly about what a scumbag lawyer is and

1:25:11

he just laughs because he's getting onto his private

1:25:13

jet. You know, that's the same way. I

1:25:15

know the idea is to settle the white man's hash

1:25:17

and to knock us down a few pegs. Not going

1:25:19

to do it. It's up there

1:25:21

with the black guy calling you a cracker.

1:25:23

Like, I'm going back to my mansion. It

1:25:27

doesn't work. They try, but it

1:25:29

doesn't work. The thing that it

1:25:32

goes back to you hate when

1:25:34

you have to do the

1:25:37

corporate classes about like you can't

1:25:39

hear is what defines sexual harassment

1:25:41

and all of that. It

1:25:44

kind of is related to your long

1:25:46

standing complaint about why do we all

1:25:48

have to drink out of those crappy

1:25:50

plastic beer bottles at the ballpark because

1:25:53

there are a couple of people who

1:25:55

misbehave with glass bottles. This

1:25:58

is the thing that you, it's hard to do. The say

1:26:00

that sounds politically incorrect. That is the

1:26:02

reality and so it's hard for people

1:26:04

to except and people don't want to

1:26:06

be on the wrong side of this.

1:26:09

If you are a sixty one

1:26:11

year old. Creepy. Guy.

1:26:14

Who. Is on, camped in, doesn't

1:26:17

shower every day or whatever, and you

1:26:19

start going up into the Cuba goal

1:26:21

of a twenty six year old coworker.

1:26:24

And. Behaving in a certain way. The

1:26:26

reaction is going to be very different

1:26:28

than if you are ruggedly handsome thirty

1:26:30

two year old that will be received

1:26:32

differently. but we have been informed now

1:26:34

that the reacts in must be one

1:26:37

size fits all sort of like we

1:26:39

were just talking about with the soccer

1:26:41

president guy like okay don't put your

1:26:43

mitts on what you kissing me middle

1:26:45

aged man. He's. The kind of

1:26:47

reaction and we have we've now accepted like.

1:26:50

It. Is an absolute wrong to do.

1:26:52

But the reality is is that's exactly

1:26:55

what secure as talking about is what

1:26:57

some percentage of women like. They like

1:26:59

man to be a man and all

1:27:01

that kind of stuff. But of course

1:27:03

everybody can't behave in the same way

1:27:05

because the reactor would be beverage. They

1:27:08

built the losers acting like George Clooney

1:27:10

will get a different response from the

1:27:13

same woman. right? You understand what I

1:27:15

yeah right? Yes, I don't agree as

1:27:17

Daves a loser but you know what

1:27:19

I mean. What the yes a The

1:27:22

pods only parts see screwed up as

1:27:24

the empowering women both says this empowering

1:27:26

doesn't work for anybody would talk about

1:27:28

for over decades exams power and ironically

1:27:31

the guy who played Ten. Can.

1:27:33

Behave how every once in women will swoon

1:27:35

for that. But go ahead and try that.

1:27:37

If you look like my Dawson, go to

1:27:39

the doctor. That was the right one. I'm

1:27:41

putting myself in that oh, the reactor will

1:27:43

be different. So and

1:27:46

we can get a job of Sorensen and because

1:27:48

or next guest is. A.

1:27:50

Them and as his brother. Miss.

1:27:52

his brother of brother what comes

1:27:54

rather for their avigdor married o's

1:27:57

are not oh yes sir common

1:27:59

law though Yeah, common point

1:28:01

stay together Russell and Han

1:28:03

yeah modern so conjoined

1:28:05

twins Abby and Brittany Hensall

1:28:09

They first gained national attention. They appeared on

1:28:11

Oprah 96 They

1:28:13

share a bloodstream and all organs below the waist

1:28:16

one controls the right arm and leg and the

1:28:18

other one controls the left arm Mm-hmm

1:28:20

and legs. So what if I'm just

1:28:22

got married? Yeah, and Internet's

1:28:26

going nuts. Well the original Siamese

1:28:30

twins, I think and

1:28:32

somebody can look this up, but the sort

1:28:34

of famous original, you know 1920

1:28:37

Siamese my all-time one of my all-time favorite

1:28:39

true. I think one had like seven kids

1:28:42

Yeah, they had nine kids or something like

1:28:44

that. They did the same thing that

1:28:47

Gyna colleges say, you know, you go. Well, what

1:28:50

if Rock Hill Wells came in here? I just

1:28:52

tuned it out It's not a thing, you know

1:28:54

I just I just I'm used to it or

1:28:56

whatever they that the partner always just said the

1:28:58

conjoined twins just goes I just I'm

1:29:01

just reading a book, you know while they're going while

1:29:03

they're going at it, you know Although

1:29:06

you got it first off When

1:29:08

you talk to the husband who's

1:29:11

banging the one conjoined twin, right?

1:29:14

And you're having a few beers Maybe just talking them at

1:29:16

a bar and you're watching a ballgame and you get to

1:29:18

that talk like, you know They always do that thing. Yeah,

1:29:21

you're been with a blackjack, you know, there we go. Yeah

1:29:25

I'm in college. I was with her Ever

1:29:27

been with two chicks What

1:29:31

do you mean, you know like

1:29:33

a threesome Well

1:29:39

Yeah, I mean would they

1:29:42

share the same organs, huh What

1:29:46

are you Frankenstein You've

1:29:48

been with two chicks. Yeah Yeah,

1:29:51

I mean sorta. Yeah one for sure bipolar

1:29:55

I See

1:29:57

how I put this. Okay. Let's see we

1:29:59

break this down Were they both in the same

1:30:01

room? Oh yeah. Okay, then you've been with

1:30:03

when one was watching. She

1:30:06

may have been for some of the

1:30:08

time, but okay, were you all in

1:30:10

bed together? Oh yeah. Okay,

1:30:15

so you were then

1:30:18

with the, you had

1:30:20

a threesome then. I

1:30:23

don't know. I don't know if

1:30:26

I want to take it that far. I'm

1:30:28

gonna turn over all the cards. I don't know what

1:30:30

that, I don't think I can figure out if he's

1:30:32

had a threesome or not. Or the

1:30:34

guy got a little cocky and started bragging about

1:30:37

a threesome, and then his friend would come back

1:30:39

from the bathroom. It was all three, a conjoined

1:30:41

twins. Okay, give me

1:30:43

a break, Casanova. The,

1:30:48

this is, they have like, it's,

1:30:50

if you've seen the

1:30:53

twins, it's two heads

1:30:55

on one body, basically. But what you're talking

1:30:57

about are the famous twins that were in

1:30:59

the Guinness Book and everything. Their

1:31:02

story is just

1:31:04

wild. I mean, they live next door to each

1:31:07

other. So they would live with one family and

1:31:09

then go next door and live with the other

1:31:11

family for like a week here and then a

1:31:13

week at the other place. And to your point,

1:31:15

really imagine reproducing. Imagine in

1:31:18

coitus, I mean, with

1:31:20

these girls too. But the

1:31:22

best thing is about these guys, it's like,

1:31:24

what a crazy and troubling

1:31:27

life, but good for them that they were

1:31:29

able to be individuals and have their own

1:31:31

lives separate, ironically,

1:31:33

or otherwise. Late

1:31:35

in life, they became slave

1:31:37

owners. What? That's

1:31:40

true. That's true. The

1:31:43

Siamese twins? Really?

1:31:45

Yes. They owned a plantation. Wow.

1:31:49

And what if a slave made a run for it? Catch

1:31:51

up to them? Let's try it. Hand a

1:31:53

bike. Dawson,

1:31:56

now you got to find the man with two

1:31:58

heads for it though. Rosie Greer

1:32:00

in like George

1:32:03

Pappard or something. Have you ever seen

1:32:05

this movie trailer? No, I don't

1:32:07

think there's the greatest Movie

1:32:10

trailer of all time now, wait

1:32:12

a minute. They they you

1:32:14

can own a plantation without owning slaves

1:32:16

There's something that the timing doesn't seem

1:32:19

right. I love it. Do it by

1:32:21

the way. That's why I was out

1:32:23

I Just

1:32:26

saw some cheap plantation land and then I thought

1:32:29

oh hey gonna work Yeah, and then I was

1:32:31

like, oh, okay. So it just comes it

1:32:33

just comes with a tool. Okay, can please

1:32:36

yep Live in luxury as plantation owners what

1:32:38

year though? I mean it was like turn

1:32:40

of the century right? 1850s Oh

1:32:44

Had to be before the Civil War, right?

1:32:46

I Guess so. I thought that

1:32:48

the timing didn't quite but I mean their story is why

1:32:50

I have twins in 19 So

1:32:53

the place in 19, but you feel

1:32:55

bad for them, but then they dress

1:32:57

like gentlemen They dress they dress like

1:32:59

fancy dapper Dan's but then they owned

1:33:01

but then they were slave owners So

1:33:03

you don't feel bad for them after

1:33:05

you hear that this is Chang and

1:33:07

egg Bunker a bunker plantations produced wheat

1:33:09

rye corn oats and potatoes raised cows

1:33:11

sheep They did

1:33:13

not grow tobacco which may suggest that

1:33:15

their plantation was run primarily to feed the

1:33:18

family and its slaves Oh,

1:33:20

wow, so they had slaves who knew

1:33:23

But yet they characterized the treatment of slaves as The

1:33:27

press characterized the treatment of slaves as

1:33:29

particularly harsh though the twins

1:33:32

Denied these accusations It's

1:33:35

not really the face like they're not

1:33:37

poster children for slave owners mean

1:33:40

guys So

1:33:42

their wives supervise the slaves and raise money

1:33:44

for their education. They're more hands-off I'd farm

1:33:46

out the slavery to my old lady. It's

1:33:48

like I listen I Want to

1:33:50

be good slave owner? You be bad slave owner You

1:33:53

know, I'll come by camp at night offering some cigarettes

1:33:55

and go this is some fucked up shit right you?

1:33:57

Yeah, the one wife is out dealing with the slaves.

1:34:00

The two fellows erm enough know there

1:34:02

are there bad now they're doing that.

1:34:04

Yeah. high salary either girl we have

1:34:06

the man is it the man with

1:34:08

two heads. It's. The thing

1:34:10

was to a same with you I'd

1:34:12

say we prepare for the greatest movie

1:34:14

trailer ever assembled. It

1:34:20

seems like a good idea that time

1:34:22

for white Big it was dying and

1:34:24

the black so brother needed time to

1:34:26

prepare our to. I

1:34:31

want a transplant, my head done, a healthy.

1:34:33

But like. I like to donate

1:34:35

more by to science after all. so

1:34:37

they transplant of the Whitehead under the

1:34:39

book body would have that. Neither would

1:34:41

care for the idea too much. As

1:34:45

bad as the amount of. Support

1:34:50

about that V or that I

1:34:52

love is I who do that.

1:34:55

Either one would care for the

1:34:57

idea Us to minus one last

1:34:59

time there. Is

1:35:02

no go back. Ten

1:35:04

seconds. Reality this the greatest and will check.

1:35:06

Come on you all me Now this. Oh

1:35:09

my God. What the how's that possible? Never

1:35:11

heard of it now regarded. Who would have

1:35:13

suspected that neither would care for the idea

1:35:15

too much. Government.

1:35:20

Shot at. Risk.

1:35:22

To you. We.

1:35:24

Are joined the gear their

1:35:27

temporarily. One

1:35:31

in his office tower made me

1:35:33

source or shut up. A that's

1:35:35

don't Eyes are known. York Times

1:35:38

stick together. So

1:35:47

far so good and how about taken or

1:35:50

have to face of. my

1:35:54

number seven on the best Man,

1:36:01

this car's a real dud. Could I have

1:36:04

a cigarette? Oh, sure honey. Oh,

1:36:06

here's the game. He's...

1:36:12

We've spoken while I'm eating. This

1:36:17

is the greatest lucky ever, man. That's

1:36:24

some more Rosie Greer with a white man's hat

1:36:26

attached. I retired from

1:36:28

football for this. He

1:36:31

may have still been playing. Oh

1:36:34

my God. You

1:36:40

okay, Harry? Harry?

1:36:46

Every 70s movie was cop cars trying

1:36:49

to follow bad guys and ending up

1:36:51

in a trend. Why

1:36:57

don't you stay here for a little while? It's

1:37:00

no use, honey. Maybe

1:37:02

when I get used to it. Now

1:37:08

you know you got to go. Oh,

1:37:12

see, he wanted some lovin'. Wow,

1:37:17

what? I've never even heard of

1:37:19

that. That's amazing. That's

1:37:21

a great movie of all time, right? Move over, face

1:37:24

off. That's right. All

1:37:26

right, Shek, we've got to

1:37:29

make some room for Carlo Mendez who's

1:37:31

coming in here. I

1:37:34

should give you a plug. Minus 3 with

1:37:36

Kevin Hinch, our favorite, and extra points

1:37:39

with Sarah Tian, our second favorite. Podcast,

1:37:42

shoot him a tweet, at

1:37:44

damashek and Instagram at ddamashek

1:37:46

as well. We will... Oh,

1:37:49

sorry, is there a second guest here? Did I miss something?

1:37:51

Oh, they said yes here. Oh, he is here. Why is

1:37:53

it like two minutes on the... Oh, the trailer's two minutes.

1:37:57

All right, I got it. Well, talk to Carlo. Hey,

1:38:00

don't miss Ace-O. He's going

1:38:02

to be at the Kookaburra

1:38:05

Lounge. Kookaburra Lounge. Go see

1:38:07

him, everybody. Thanks

1:38:09

for having me, Ace-O. It's good

1:38:11

to see everybody, especially Dr. Cheese.

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TV. Stream now. Pay never. It's

1:40:02

time to check Adam's voicemail. Hey

1:40:09

Adam, I just thought you'd like

1:40:11

to know that there's this fucking little brown

1:40:13

mini-cooper in front of me right now in traffic

1:40:16

that has a I

1:40:18

love bacon chicker, bacon inside,

1:40:20

vanity plate that says

1:40:22

I love bacon, and

1:40:25

don't forget to license plate brain. Oh,

1:40:30

did I mention that the mini-cooper's brown?

1:40:34

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Carlo

1:40:39

Mendez is here. The movie is

1:40:41

called Demise. It's available now on

1:40:44

digital and on video and

1:40:46

demand and it's a romantic

1:40:49

thriller. I'm trying to think of how I

1:40:51

would identify it. Yeah, they're describing it as

1:40:53

a new, nor kind of like a fun,

1:40:55

sexy thriller. Yeah, well it

1:40:57

works. And you got the right look

1:40:59

for that. You

1:41:02

must get some telenovela

1:41:06

offers and stuff. You should know he's a

1:41:08

very attractive man who looks after

1:41:10

himself. Yeah, but just the one thing

1:41:13

I don't want to do, telenovela,

1:41:16

nothing against it. It's

1:41:19

not the best quality of acting

1:41:22

or of storylines. It is the same thing with Don

1:41:24

did. Oh my God, my twin brother. Oh my God,

1:41:26

your wife died but she came back and

1:41:28

disappeared. And then my husband's your brother's uncle's

1:41:30

friend. Yeah, there's no one. You're

1:41:32

right, I shouldn't have brought that up. No,

1:41:35

no, it's fine. But you got to look good. And

1:41:37

you look good. Thank you. A

1:41:39

strong genetic hand. I guess everyone in... Is

1:41:42

your family... I mean your sister even

1:41:44

is obviously very beautiful. But

1:41:48

is everyone in the family

1:41:50

aesthetically pleasing? You know, I

1:41:52

don't think my dad... I've

1:41:55

always said that my dad is like a milkman because

1:41:57

I don't think he looks... I don't think we look

1:41:59

like this. in the eyes. My

1:42:01

dad is not the most handsome man, but yeah,

1:42:03

I mean, my

1:42:05

sister's beautiful. I got two other sisters on my

1:42:08

dad's side that are very beautiful as well. So

1:42:10

I guess, yeah, we got lucky with the genetic

1:42:12

pool there. Did you guys, you

1:42:15

grew up in Los Angeles and then went to

1:42:17

Miami? Or what's, how did it work? Well,

1:42:20

I was born here in LA, raised in Miami because we have

1:42:22

the same dad, different mom. So I was

1:42:24

born here, raised in Miami, and then my sister

1:42:26

was born in Miami, raised over here. Oh,

1:42:29

okay. So are you guys close?

1:42:31

Are you tight? Yeah, yeah, we are. Yeah,

1:42:33

I told her I got five sisters, had

1:42:35

one brother, and yeah, we're

1:42:37

all pretty close. Like I

1:42:39

said, on my dad's side, I'm close to them, and on mom's

1:42:41

side, it's separate, but I'm close to them as well. It's

1:42:44

so confusing. It's all over the place, Hispanic family.

1:42:47

When you go to visit and

1:42:49

Ryan Gosling answers the door and

1:42:52

you're standing there, and there's

1:42:54

someone who's better looking than

1:42:56

him standing in this doorway,

1:42:58

he's got to be freaked out and confused, right? I

1:43:01

don't know. I don't know about that. He's

1:43:03

such an awesome guy. He's so nice, so

1:43:05

great, so down to earth. He's such an

1:43:07

awesome guy. They both are just, they got

1:43:09

lucky with each other, I'll tell you that.

1:43:11

They're both just amazing people. Yeah, she

1:43:14

took some heat or something a week ago

1:43:16

when she was like, well, I stopped acting

1:43:18

so I could raise kids. And then everyone

1:43:20

was like, he forced her to stop acting.

1:43:22

And it's like, we're such a fucked up

1:43:24

society that if a mom just says, hey,

1:43:26

I got money and I've done

1:43:28

this and now I'm going to do a job

1:43:30

that I think is more important, then we all

1:43:32

have to shift some sort of blame or some

1:43:34

societal something. I'm just like, she's

1:43:37

comfortable and she loves her kids, so she wants

1:43:39

to do this for a while. There's nothing more

1:43:41

important than family. If she would have done the

1:43:43

opposite, like, oh, I'm going to continue working, and

1:43:45

then people would be like, oh, why aren't you

1:43:47

taking care of your kids? You can never win,

1:43:49

especially in this industry, you can never, ever

1:43:52

win. She took a backburn

1:43:54

to raise the girls and

1:43:58

just not worry about acting. And why not?

1:44:00

I mean, family's the most important thing in the

1:44:02

world. That's it, there's nothing that tops, especially when

1:44:04

you have kids, nothing tops that. So I saw

1:44:06

some of the comments too, and I'm like, it's

1:44:08

just ridiculous how people just like to just blame

1:44:12

and never have anything good to say. Well,

1:44:14

how would it work? So

1:44:16

if you're a woman and you get

1:44:18

a couple of nannies and then you

1:44:20

go out and work the entire time,

1:44:23

then you get criticized for farming everything

1:44:25

out to the nannies, and

1:44:27

then if you say, I'd like to stay

1:44:29

home and raise my kids, then you get

1:44:31

criticized for putting your career on hold. And

1:44:34

I think the criticism was it's like

1:44:36

she didn't have a choice in it, but

1:44:38

I'm sure if she wanted to work, she

1:44:40

could work. Of course. And Ryan would probably,

1:44:42

you know. Yeah, of course, she can still work.

1:44:44

She still has a name, she's a great actress. She

1:44:46

can still work and get an nanny, but she wants

1:44:48

to raise her family on her own, be

1:44:51

there for them, you know? So there's nothing wrong