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You so much Enjoy! Enjoy the episode!

4:27

Dear diary I woke her

4:29

load leave road the only

4:31

road to those the river

4:33

and go are just the

4:35

way that up because I

4:38

am serb today I told

4:40

the roof mounted I do

4:42

not want to party with

4:44

him anymore. He and his

4:46

path of coast too much

4:48

trouble in the streets of

4:50

Zuma know how it might

4:52

find my news in out

4:54

this type painstakingly attractive. Keep getting

4:56

these. How When. He

5:00

told me I say I

5:02

told him he's not wrong

5:04

that I have helped crew.

5:08

A little mean saunders foot

5:11

well. I'm

5:14

a monster. The

6:38

warehouse has gone

6:41

bananas. The

6:44

shimmering light radiating from

6:46

the our waters beneath

6:48

the now shattered glass

6:50

dance floor. Ah, have

6:52

stopped giving off their

6:54

light and as a

6:56

result has stopped suppressing.

6:58

The animal behaviorists ends

7:00

up their instincts of

7:02

the assembled visitors here.

7:05

In. In response to this, a

7:07

majority of the animals who were

7:10

on the dance for shortly before

7:12

it's destruction I have begun to

7:14

make a beeline for the exit.

7:16

The security guards as well as

7:19

a few other patrons here you

7:21

can tell ah have no instinct

7:23

to retreat from the situation at

7:26

all. As a result, let's roll

7:28

initiative out. main. Man.

7:30

Man. Man I we

7:33

came here to bite a horse,

7:35

verify from questions yeah pass and

7:37

a couple questions by one horse

7:39

by yeah I are going are

7:42

well and and you buy one

7:44

horse. I gotta thirteen and

7:46

initiative. Well it makes sense because

7:48

I'm still trying to champ. Yeah,

7:52

And make and a large soon as

7:54

is. Twelve plus two forty.

7:57

First in the order. The

8:00

won't. The.

8:03

Wolf Man I He looks

8:05

down and out of that

8:07

the the shattered windows sees

8:10

you down below. Thinks

8:12

may about jump in out

8:14

ah but second guesses instead

8:17

see South's ah at all

8:19

of these sort of employees

8:21

and patrons here. I he

8:23

points at you godwin and

8:26

you fi low and and

8:28

down at you and says

8:30

that if any of them

8:33

escape. I'll

8:35

have your hands. He

8:37

takes off ah to

8:39

calm down the stairs.

8:43

Ah! Next in the order

8:45

a Lady Gaga. Or

8:49

it was my possess lady. Got

8:51

where you are perched on the

8:53

west side of the shattered dance

8:56

floor. Ah, the waters below are

8:58

some a muddy. Give me a

9:00

perception check before. Making.

9:08

Nineteen. Ah okay with the nineteenth.

9:10

The waters are are somewhat money

9:12

because people were just down in

9:14

their splashing and stomping around. Now

9:17

the people have last. ah those

9:19

waters. You can see a lot

9:21

of actual activity. Beneath the

9:23

water some sort of bubbling are like

9:25

something is moving around. With

9:28

a nineteen or something something is

9:30

moving and bubbling around of the

9:33

waters com you are on the

9:35

west side of this Saturday and

9:37

floor most of the inhabitants have

9:39

scattered off a way to the

9:41

east. Are

9:43

There are Three security guards who were

9:46

investigating this confrontation with this stick that

9:48

you and Brother Fila were embroiled in

9:50

on. And they are the most. Immediate

9:53

danger. As for what other animals and

9:55

here are going to make a move

9:57

at you, you. Aren't. Quite sure of

9:59

that, yet. I

10:01

grabbed the security guard closest to

10:03

me the to sort of bottom

10:05

when they are against edge off

10:07

and I want to check them

10:09

into the water again but I

10:11

was going do investigation check that

10:13

I thought services and investigation the

10:15

own experiments Yes okay ah you

10:17

are going to. Do. A shove

10:19

so you're gonna make an attack action. I

10:22

sometimes I really angry. I'll announce like

10:24

if you guys don't come down on

10:27

protect yourself Us Siobhan you envoy to

10:29

do with sub so hard You guys

10:31

if you're not careful. Yes,

10:33

Okay so go ahead and

10:35

and whatever I Tracy Morgan

10:37

is that was hurting or

10:40

ah yes that hits Ah

10:42

Ok and on the shelves

10:44

you get to your able

10:46

to knock it away from

10:48

you. How far Sightsee. So

10:52

basically into some waters ah

10:55

when that happens Ah you

10:57

see first of all deserve

10:59

our of werewolf not loving

11:02

being alive. By

11:04

added effect yeah for sure I'm it's

11:06

a dog for a like dogs don't

11:08

like. Back at the I made it

11:10

very a lot last modified out a

11:13

like a guide this kind of this

11:15

way to write else in This one

11:17

guy doesn't let us begin generalities, he

11:19

tries to climbs his way out the

11:21

privilege. As soon as he lands

11:23

in the water it triggers a

11:25

reaction You see Ah the. Brilliant.

11:28

Stance lights are positioned all around

11:30

the room that are flashing all

11:32

around this scene or begins a

11:35

glint of golden scales that pop

11:37

shortly as the sort of to

11:39

spare me about the surface of

11:41

the water this werewolf is warmed

11:44

by. Hundreds of

11:46

goals my boys. Us

11:49

ah veins nibble at him in

11:51

a way that would probably not

11:53

be effect is normally but there's

11:55

just so many of them. ah

11:57

I see is going to take.

12:01

Of damage a goldfish v

12:04

of ghosts is amazing. Image

12:06

shows. Up. Next

12:09

in the order he is

12:11

the bartender from earlier. He

12:13

is going to ah hop

12:16

and run over towards the

12:18

scene trying to position himself

12:20

a little bit before the

12:22

between i you all in

12:25

the door. He is going

12:27

to. Oh

12:31

it is gonna throw a dagger as you

12:33

are lady got. From

12:36

a little Caesars on his hip.

12:38

Ah that is a twenty two

12:40

verses a thing. He.

12:42

Had only money Bass Okay right

12:45

after you finish pushing this guy

12:47

into the water you're set. Your

12:49

tinted is so focused on washing

12:51

this this this this goldfish warm

12:53

ah and before you know at

12:55

your body church reflexively back to

12:57

the right as a dagger ah

12:59

japs to your giant me be

13:01

shoulder. Next in the

13:03

order went on a point. The damages. About that

13:05

it's four points Pearson. Arm.

13:09

Can I also retroactively go into

13:11

to I'm Raids yeah level of

13:14

western surfing so that the two

13:16

points of piercing damage than I

13:18

think. Ah

13:20

next to me order we thought when you

13:23

were raised sorry I thought when you reach

13:25

took extra damage No no no no. No.

13:27

Of now you have a

13:30

resistance to basically physical damage

13:32

when your region. oh com

13:34

which is pretty cool. Ah

13:36

next in the order is

13:38

ah the Were rave and

13:40

that is sitting at Why

13:42

are there is a big

13:44

sort of humanoid shape are

13:46

covered in black feathers with

13:49

a long shiny black be

13:51

ends. Very very

13:53

tiny. Lo que allies I

13:55

he is going to. Turn

13:58

of flaps his when. And

14:00

fly towards the middle of the

14:03

room. Ah there he is going

14:05

to. Launch a crossbow

14:07

at you, Know.

14:10

What? He's gonna have advantage

14:12

on this attack. What? Did I did you?

14:15

Ah, I mean he got

14:17

an order from his boss. Stop

14:20

you on? Okay, ah, another twenty

14:22

two vs. A see I mean

14:24

yeah for another four points Appears

14:26

guy next to me orders Brother

14:28

Fila rather follow You are in

14:31

the thick of it. You've got

14:33

these two security guards pretty close

14:35

you, but you're also face to

14:37

face with cystic and company. And

14:42

up to this point, I've done nothing

14:44

aggressive right? As far as

14:47

that is true, I met attack anybody

14:49

have been hurt anybody Noyau If you're

14:51

looking for plausible deniability here, I will

14:53

say that the both men did. Just

14:56

order your. Capture or.

14:59

Distraction so. Ah,

15:02

But. Okay, I didn't

15:04

know he did that with me specifically.

15:07

What? Do you think? What? Do you think that? What? Do

15:09

you sell that? I couldn't. Have

15:11

some kind of advantage with whatever I do because

15:13

they don't know I'm one of the. One.

15:16

Of the targets of the attacking

15:18

that I haven't done anything to

15:21

attack anybody, I just tried to

15:23

come out me he'll somebody ah

15:25

I think that's ah. I.

15:28

Think that's. Yeah.

15:30

I think that's fair if you want to

15:33

get a is an advantage on whatever your

15:35

accent is that your open to pull off

15:37

here that as an adult big you have

15:39

advantage against c stick or bodyguards just because

15:41

you big sort of caught you in are

15:44

in a bit of a lie by rob

15:46

yet the others. Fault then I have

15:48

a say Mistake is a very buttercream name of

15:50

their I'm very excited about occurred to me of

15:52

respect for the after a. While

15:54

enjoy enjoying a molecule ask as mistake is

15:57

that I will say all of you could

15:59

see this. The and bodyguards they

16:01

are horses. They do not like being

16:03

inside of a building. first above that

16:05

fucking wild. Ah, but second of all

16:07

these walls everywhere so they are not

16:10

going to stick around. You get the

16:12

sense. Well

16:15

in that case, Okay

16:19

first thing filers going to do receive

16:21

going to. Try

16:24

to knock that vanguard right in front of

16:26

him. About to go right in front of

16:28

him into the water was like Lady Gaga

16:30

did with someone. Yes, thousand and I will

16:33

be or action. Ah if it is, do

16:35

so So make an attack roll with advantage.

16:37

I if the succeeds you can push him

16:39

Five feet into the water is well. Within.

16:42

That's probably what I sit on

16:44

Armstrong and I also have. Tavern

16:48

Brawl Or Strike. What?

16:50

Is that that means mine? Unarmed Strike

16:52

uses a D for for damage. Okay,

16:56

Will you know you? Ideally The answer that

16:58

question right? Look. So

17:00

this is okay, unarmed. Unarmed

17:05

Strike goes. Ah,

17:08

Fifteen. Or sixteen hits if you want

17:10

a role for crap. I'm not sure what it would do, but. Do

17:13

have the advantage right? Now.

17:17

Now that's a nine. Okay, but yeah,

17:19

Fifteen. Sixteen. Same

17:21

thing happens this guy goes

17:23

falling into the water. ah

17:25

and shortly the swarm the

17:27

bubbling swarm surrounding by or

17:29

one security guard booth over

17:31

to this one he is

17:33

also going to take to

17:35

eat. Twelve.

17:41

Okay, I've. Anything else that you

17:43

went to do is to turn. Yeah,

17:46

I'm. As Tavern Brawl or

17:48

I can also grapple when you hit a

17:50

creature with an unarmed strike for an improvised

17:52

weapon on your turn. Well.

17:55

No, I can't do that grappling

17:57

an exotic zebra so. No.

18:01

I think that's I think that's it. I think. I.

18:05

Think that's it. Look at

18:07

court because I like where

18:09

his position his shirt. ah

18:12

Next in the order is

18:14

Cj songs Dj sums ah.

18:18

Pulses headphones down over his ears

18:20

and to start bobbing his head

18:22

sort of rhythmically as he sort

18:25

of gets into the music. Ah,

18:27

he flipped a switch and from

18:29

the ceiling some sparks shoot down.

18:32

He. He

18:35

target explodes with a dazzling. Display of

18:37

colors or each creature within ten

18:39

feet of the target must exceed

18:42

our constitution saving throw or else

18:44

be blinded. Ah so where wave

18:46

Raven fails? The security guard that

18:49

you just pushed into the water

18:51

fails? Are you don't have to

18:53

save my dog accept year? okay

18:56

I guess is sort of right

18:58

in the middle of the water.

19:00

Ah, I'm and the. Ah

19:03

on his security guard sites. So

19:05

ah to of these creatures in

19:08

the in the center of the

19:10

rooms are blind to different disadvantage

19:12

on attacks and advantage on attacks

19:15

against them. Feel done it again

19:17

them sex or I'm next in

19:20

the border Go the security guards.

19:22

Ah. This

19:25

one is going to

19:27

ah, is hop out

19:29

of the water and

19:31

take a bite. Action

19:33

against you Lady Godwin,

19:35

that is. A

19:38

twelve versus Ac. That

19:43

does not yet and pay a

19:45

rare gadgets like defend one and

19:47

he brings a top down on

19:50

on you but your to lead

19:52

the read toughened Skyn boards off

19:54

the assault on this one is

19:56

going to hop out of the

19:59

water and. You find

20:01

out. That

20:04

is a. Colony

20:08

our water note note jacket glass to contend

20:10

with. Feel like it says hopping around I

20:12

mean I use war so he hot he

20:14

is really get a hobby. Lobby arts right

20:17

over all that jazz. Okay is a wolf

20:19

as a a werewolf because you just how

20:21

to crochet the bow. So. Which

20:23

is it is hard and were pro or

20:25

their crowd is it was over with the

20:27

to wear crow their werewolf thank you Just

20:29

add. Add

20:32

so attack and twenty per se

20:34

Si is on the fence. Going

20:36

to. Ah yeah, just

20:39

just barely caught. It's settled

20:41

says the tab that says

20:43

Mariano. Rivera

20:46

mainly reference to more on

20:48

board said I said. Ah,

20:52

you are going to take

20:54

nine points. That's

20:57

that's painful. Okay strengths. Saving

20:59

throw from. As

21:04

and nineteen sale ads. Stay

21:08

at on your property. The last

21:10

security guard here. He

21:13

is going to run

21:15

an attack the Bodyguard.

21:17

as sixty years see

21:19

the North. Sea

21:22

says hungry This guide. Is

21:25

disease like? I excuse, you know,

21:28

four legged? The yeah, The Twenty

21:30

two. ah a disused four legged

21:32

herbivore and is like moon gonna

21:35

get me some of that. Ah,

21:37

this bodyguard is instantly taken. Them.

21:41

Growth. With

21:43

the Circle Life Baby Anna Vermeer

21:45

Fargo. Next up in the order

21:48

is the Ah where Tiger in

21:50

the office see is not going

21:52

to show the same hesitant at

21:55

the Wolf Man he leaps down

21:57

and is immediately going to attack

21:59

you. I might. Be

22:03

yes is it won't be

22:05

good. He

22:08

has the same thing where he can

22:10

knock you brown, but that's not gonna

22:12

be an issue for years because ah,

22:14

I don't know how much more prone

22:16

you could possibly get right now. Ah

22:18

okay, see is going to swipe a

22:21

claw at you. that is a thirteen

22:23

for says he ah that makes it

22:25

as a mess. That is good because

22:27

that would have felt pretty bad for

22:29

you. Ah, I'm next. Any order are

22:32

the horses. The. Bodyguard.

22:34

Is immediately going to abandon.

22:38

Ship here stick is not

22:40

so lucky. This sick is

22:42

flanked ah and does not

22:44

want to. Ah,

22:47

Take an opportunity. Attack is gonna

22:49

disengage and he can only move

22:52

his speed once instead of das

22:54

in a way like the other

22:56

bodyguard. Ah, he reaches the hallway.

22:58

The entry to the hallway still

23:00

pretty close to all of you,

23:02

but definitely. I mean. Pretty.

23:05

Close to get. not a year. And

23:08

next up is my. Last

23:10

to be order. Ah, I'm going

23:12

to use my dad got to

23:14

cut myself very. Ah

23:17

okay I will say this

23:19

is a slight of hand

23:21

check. I think I to

23:23

accomplish this giving aside a

23:26

handset that know seven total.

23:28

Ah okay, that is the seven

23:31

that is unsuccessful. Ah fan. So.

23:33

I will. I will make you

23:35

a deal here. Inside to do

23:37

that you notice that ah you're

23:39

you're daggers not getting the job

23:42

done but also the floors covered

23:44

in shattered glass. Ah, you get

23:46

the impression that you could maybe

23:48

use some of that to help

23:50

you with this. I'll give you

23:52

advantage on the tech just but

23:54

you will take some damage as

23:56

by yea and hopefully that paper.

24:00

Get as a video about

24:02

Fortnight Team? Yes! Okay, are

24:04

you are able to in

24:06

just wriggling around on on

24:09

this broken glass? You are

24:11

able regular. No need for

24:13

your Los Alamos. Ah, however

24:15

you say three pointers License.

24:19

But you are under stream. To

24:22

have anything you can do with a bonus

24:24

action, you also have your move now that

24:27

you have to spend it any. Well,

24:30

I'm going see that. Ah

24:32

yeah, a bonus action. Ah,

24:34

I'm. I'm

24:41

I'm going to. On.

24:49

Yeah. I'm gonna lay down slayers

24:51

pray quote shit on the where

24:53

tiger. Okay, but designate one creature

24:56

or the first time each turn

24:58

that I hit that target with

25:00

a weapon attack is going to

25:02

take an extra one d Six.

25:06

Ah, Damage Know get. Caught

25:08

and I set up on his

25:11

turn. The wolf man is going

25:13

to Das Ah! He is able

25:15

to make guests. Ah,

25:18

around the back side of the

25:20

building and he is able to

25:22

face we make it to the

25:24

edge of the stage here. Ah

25:28

so he is back in.

25:30

Next in the order is

25:32

Ah Lady Goblin. Ah

25:36

the One Bodyguard has he book villain

25:38

the closest to the Ah the One

25:40

bodyguard that is closest to you on

25:43

he did take them to do he

25:45

says he's played. Ah,

25:49

I'm. Which

25:51

way, as he says. He's

25:54

ah facing you. He

25:56

just tried to attack you said he would. he would

25:59

be facing. I'm.

26:02

An amateur hour positioning and melee fighting I'm terms. We

26:04

have a good meetings with the fact that. That.

26:09

Is up behind him as dad

26:11

right? So he got a you've

26:13

got cystic Mickey's A for the

26:15

door Is it the atoms? This

26:17

cat ran away. Ah the saw

26:19

the bark dragged out pretty much.

26:22

ah. All. Of these creatures

26:24

have had a chance to. Make

26:27

their way well outside. Ah,

26:29

Okay, so you've got Cystic behind

26:31

you heading for the door. You've

26:33

got the bartender behind the bodyguard.

26:35

Ah. both at home at your

26:37

last. Her. Sake!

26:40

The best thing I could do. Is.

26:44

Transform into a horse, Who.

26:49

Let us know when this to get away. And

26:52

I think I won't have to fight

26:54

for disengagement if I transform in or

26:56

worse cause they'll be like why. The

26:59

our five a season or yaddo?

27:02

Absolutely. I mean describe what that

27:04

looks like to turn into a

27:06

horse at will. I

27:09

think she raises her hands up in

27:11

the air like this and she makes

27:13

her hands in the cup shapes. And

27:16

then they become a hooves and then

27:18

her mouth. Our head starts to stretch

27:20

out. where are her were move and.

27:23

And. Then her ass does

27:26

hair cells grow in a modest.

27:29

Yeah, it's a lot of characters are brass,

27:31

and that's like is things like that for

27:33

a little bit in areas like Ah is

27:35

that part of. That part

27:38

of the track A and how

27:40

long does this take his everyone's

27:42

is starving what they're doing either

27:44

like it was sick and these

27:46

guys right I was going to

27:48

about tickets hack of opportunity but

27:50

like number of the i personally

27:52

have passed out and for a

27:54

while ago ah and isn't see

27:56

another you are done a deathly

27:58

cell disease or throwing up organ

28:00

mean I'm a horse. Copper

28:03

Pipe dream said. I'll

28:07

tell you is that if there were

28:09

freed sir we transform into the animal.

28:11

is the animals as you are bones

28:14

than a human. Those are man's gotta

28:16

go somewhere on a out of your

28:18

mouth everywhere Yeah ah ok here's what

28:20

do you are going to transform. You

28:24

are new to this. Ah to

28:26

this experience on know if I go I

28:28

go to the. Miraculous

28:31

be more, you are not heard since two

28:33

more to. This is

28:35

the first time you've ever tried to conjure

28:38

this power. There is Zero. Unspeakably

28:41

open source. Horse

28:46

force. Behind the Saxon

28:48

that. You you know

28:50

is there. The

28:52

extent to which you are able to successfully

28:54

channel that power, Think it's going to come

28:57

down to an animal handling sex. With.

29:02

Advantage obviously doesn't mean we must know Advantage.

29:05

Absolutely no Advantage no matter what apathetic about

29:07

our i'm gonna be given up. Or

29:10

her. The

29:14

seventies. Yeah,

29:17

awesome at a lower role would

29:19

have resulted in a a lower

29:21

a horse a lower horse human

29:23

hybrid objects. I think with the

29:25

seventeenth you may get to like

29:27

the last few pages of the

29:29

an amorphous of flip book truth

29:31

from Except and you are now

29:33

a big and powerful force ah

29:36

Max and is so I Those

29:38

axes. I. Will say no

29:40

mostly because I what has come

29:42

from what like double I'd double

29:45

double for horse kicked the guard

29:47

into the pool. guess Spokane? Ah

29:49

so give me a strength check.

29:52

Ah give me and it's you're

29:54

attacking with hooves now so to

29:56

speak. Your great acts, attack, reason.

30:02

Seventeen plus Five twenty Do Yeah

30:04

that is going to hit him

30:06

and he is going to fall

30:08

into the water and do to

30:10

get glued to the due to.

30:13

Ah, Fourteen Points of Damage

30:15

is going to do it. You

30:17

see him get pulled under by

30:19

scaled says you then see Stephen

30:21

pop out of the water and

30:23

he's like through your. Which.

30:25

Was we killed these guys? Because I don't really. Know.

30:28

About. All. That like a tortured

30:30

help you out and you know do whatever.

30:33

But. You. Know

30:35

what is to kill these guys? So do you? Know.

30:39

Why I'm not talking a horse, no

30:41

man is a D bomb. Are no

30:43

ah Malcolm our can fish do that

30:45

are keep him occupied you know. Third

30:48

Nord fish gets knocked out underwater. that's

30:50

pretty much ribs Zola let him drowned

30:52

sell me a faggot muslim a shower

30:54

some this sexist stern hope there was

30:56

are not Iowa map we're just going

30:58

to swim in to him real hard

31:00

indiana the side of the tank and

31:03

then of their filters be but we'll

31:05

keep his head above the water. Yeah

31:07

man. Who could otherwise like I

31:09

see then you aren't I made a

31:11

great call bet on you but you're

31:13

doing a personal mates and work surgery

31:16

up at all those sick and six

31:18

cats ran away for some trouble. Not

31:20

Steven and his crew though well hopefully

31:22

not midsummer sadly for do need by

31:24

him later but we'll figure that out.

31:27

Good number that I work in the

31:29

Ah alright ah. Next. In

31:31

the order is the oh sorry node

31:33

known sorry don't move fast me yet

31:35

when I was at world Now because

31:37

I wanna take my move action. Okay,

31:40

ah to chase after Assistant.

31:43

Oh, he's pretty close. Good.

31:45

I just wanted the hoses about within. You want

31:47

to get in front of him? Ah

31:50

yes I do that and I

31:52

would like to yes our lives

31:54

in front of him for arm

31:56

and. With. My

31:58

friends the attack. I want to try to

32:01

punch him in the mouth. You're

32:03

a horse and why? it. Was

32:06

my friends he attacked i'm good tried to

32:08

kick him in the mouth and tank as

32:10

I said the first and driven. Caught.

32:13

Yeah. Ah, Not.

32:16

Biden. I guess if you

32:18

do that by here it doesn't do shit, but if

32:20

I could punch him in the mouth maybe they'll

32:22

count as a bite. Oh no, you need a bite

32:25

him to the or to be a year. He.

32:27

Bite us. Bite Me. But no one had.

32:29

And now you're right. Okay, I'm I try

32:31

to bite his ass. That's better. As a

32:33

bonus, by not just that, is that metaphorical

32:35

answers? literal. Last. I

32:38

mean, I'm closest to his

32:40

ass. or yes, literal. okay.

32:43

For the attack is a barbarians and

32:45

you get a bonus attack Basically when

32:47

you hit on an attack Ah, despite

32:49

that you're going to do ah will

32:52

to call that an unarmed attack. Ah,

32:54

it is not going to do damage.

32:56

Ah, I will tell you that in

32:58

order to hit on this attack does.

33:01

This is. Potentially

33:03

a big one you going

33:05

to need to roll a.

33:08

A to Wells. To

33:11

buy. The next to buy them as

33:13

it twelve the biden. As you say,

33:15

that doesn't you failed at this exact

33:17

action about twelve times so far. Yeah,

33:19

yeah, Griffin am getting a little bit

33:21

frustrated was and we're going to be

33:24

fair if he has ten more teeth.

33:26

But that is a really really good point.

33:28

Try to get out of an abiding services

33:30

bigger the buying serves as bigger sized like

33:33

he has been one of the as opposed

33:35

the audience would you rather good beer by

33:37

human being or a horse Absolute was a

33:39

pointer of that's a bad as I don't

33:41

want to decide that a you can a

33:43

plus one on your role for your expertise

33:45

not being assessed by the way Travis is

33:47

it depends on the human and it really

33:49

depends on the hope is it with good

33:51

way to do further with or a gimme

33:53

that role twelve or higher. It's

34:02

exactly a twelve. Holy

34:05

see, It's a seven.

34:07

Spies. Exactly Twelve. You.

34:11

Get of Mike's by the skin of

34:13

my T V and but yeah, oiled

34:15

or only of your forty two teeth.

34:18

I think I've done the math. They're currently. You

34:21

varies actually on the number

34:23

of teeth the horse as

34:25

as courses are you with

34:27

synchronicity. Great

34:32

things. Are

34:35

forced. When

34:38

that happens Lady God when.

34:42

You are. Transported.

34:45

Your senses leave you reappear.

34:48

In another world.

34:52

It is a place you

34:55

are simultaneously. Unfamiliar

34:57

with and intimately familiar with because there's

34:59

a part of you the is always

35:01

lived here. You

35:06

are. Staring at

35:08

that silver stallion, he's standing at

35:10

the end of a tree lined

35:12

path just about the frolic over

35:15

the horizon. And

35:17

before he does so, he turns packed. And

35:20

he nods. He

35:23

picks up an apple from side of the

35:25

path. He brings it the post.

35:28

It here says. Do

35:31

you. Don't

35:33

list. But

35:41

there is a look in his

35:44

eyes of. Sorrow

35:47

of. Of

35:50

anxiety as he trembling await

35:52

your answer. Is

35:59

pains. He. Leave

36:02

this place to live for us. To

36:04

leave you. But

36:07

I have to figure out. Who

36:09

I am. Just hope

36:12

I know me. This

36:14

version of pretty girls.

36:17

Perhaps then I'll be ready

36:19

to accept this. Book

36:22

is. What

36:24

for now. I'm

36:26

afraid I must return to

36:29

my world. My life to

36:31

her body was everybody was

36:33

now mine. I guess. I

36:36

have to go back. He

36:39

nods and trots slowly backwards

36:42

for rearing up one more

36:44

time. Silhouetted by the sunlight

36:47

at the end of this.

36:51

Trump's. And

36:56

then all of your bones

36:58

you back their friendships. Oh

37:02

God Reagan's go back in. And

37:04

teeth fall outta your head

37:07

as you. Com

37:09

Lady Godwin. Once more plane

37:11

a vote has been cut

37:14

off from you. Seen

37:17

this cystic looks down.

37:20

And. Look

37:23

sad, sort of tilts his snoop

37:25

down at you and then realizes

37:28

they're still like so many fuck

37:30

involves and here. And he takes

37:32

off around the corner. I

37:36

can't help but feel less make the state

37:39

of my. Hey

38:01

there's another Max fun break from. I went

38:03

to a point out something in the Max

38:05

and Drive that we often forget. The highlights

38:07

says over the course of the year. Like

38:11

I know. For example, I lost my wallet one point

38:13

and I get a new card. And.

38:15

That then means that the max fun

38:18

payment that I have as a member

38:20

myself. Stopped. Going through I

38:22

hadn't going in and update my my

38:24

card number and all of that stuff

38:26

after Jesse sent his goons to your

38:28

yard. Now yes, he wants you that

38:30

to you listener home videos were Travis

38:32

lives so The Dunes new way to

38:34

go in that is. they took away

38:36

all my provides. They tore up my

38:38

pocket squares. Della Frye. I miss all

38:40

of them. Maybe. You eight, they

38:42

wash your denim. All I got. Maybe things

38:45

like Amartya Members for the shows, but if

38:47

you haven't checked on a while, maybe had

38:49

over a mixer, the your information is still

38:52

all correct in there. Or maybe you've thought

38:54

about it every year. Maybe you've been a

38:56

listener since the beginning you've heard of talking

38:58

about like, ah, I'm going to do that

39:01

and then it slips right up your head.

39:04

You forget to do it and

39:06

like, ah, next year or guess

39:08

what is next year That's ah,

39:10

maximum fun.worthless Join. To take

39:12

care of it. Were. Was it

39:14

means you Dad that you are

39:16

able to be functionally unemployed Due

39:19

to the generosity of Been Some

39:21

was assigned to the generosity of

39:23

of Maximum Fun listeners. I am

39:25

able to not. Have. To

39:27

get up at three thirty in the

39:29

morning? nice mean and I don't have

39:32

to go to bed at eight thirty

39:34

at night. That has been able to

39:36

watch blue bloods and six I have

39:38

my as light blue bloods Now I

39:40

can catch up on all the select

39:42

goodness around like half A in C

39:44

I S L V Mouth or New

39:46

Orleans has New Orleans Salt New Oliver

39:49

Thank you. Crime. Crime:

39:51

As a little smoother down

39:53

here, we have so much

39:55

safer remixes we observe right

39:58

Daves Four years earlier. You're

40:00

a five dollar months high or max

40:02

been high fiber you get that the

40:04

six hundred hours a bonus content if

40:06

your friend same for ten bucks a

40:08

month you had to. that's the of

40:11

forty and I would choice of one

40:13

of the forty enameled pans also your

40:15

your gift car your membership card all

40:17

the bonus content for twenty bucks a

40:19

modest diamond friendship circle where were you

40:21

can get games on the go or

40:24

one of these beautiful. But. It

40:26

as the the games on the go

40:28

is this really cool kind of bandana

40:30

that doubles as a chessboard a good

40:32

also double as a checkerboard Zillow problem

40:34

is you know plus you get all

40:36

the other all the other great that

40:38

are had twister me from are you

40:40

for for are you get the bucket

40:42

hat we didn't can all agree is

40:44

the sexiest kind app areas to yeah

40:47

as and I'm nowhere the most terrible

40:49

like if he has a bunch of

40:51

face you don't have anywhere act as

40:53

a bottom right hand maybe as I

40:55

guess. That not now before he talking

40:57

up to the size of a hat

40:59

is seven or one eight oh so

41:01

be a so Just listen you know

41:03

of your as a certain. Size.

41:06

Way as a certain had during our

41:08

head girl or any we're all going

41:10

to his way world Mcgivern of the

41:12

games to go for that type of

41:14

the Mcelroy family that have would be

41:16

a fascinate her up there. There's a

41:18

little was here. Center.

41:20

Right there with our steam punk goggle Malice and

41:22

I ask my say on top of the rewards the

41:24

you're going to get for Ozzy things and it goes

41:27

up Thirty five fifty there's of the Rebels. But.

41:29

We have set some of our own goals. Or

41:32

you at three thousand new and up getting

41:34

members fungal more is the Me hear your

41:36

wishes lives new, you'll find out what that

41:38

means. Really Hit three thousand. And. Six

41:41

thousand, There's a bonus. Garfield Manufactured

41:43

com an ambitious for max on

41:45

listeners. Ah, I'm Maggie. Remember

41:47

as you'll get you'll be one of few

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41:59

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42:01

post on our was ice and submit

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to wiki how we'll see how that

42:06

part goes. At twelve thousand we will

42:08

play a Six Thumbs One Hard Percent

42:10

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stream and at Fifteen thousand we will

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record and release a commentary track for

42:17

Avatar, the movie with the blue Vivo

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to be released to the bone and

42:21

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42:23

I have never watched it, just it

42:26

has lost them. Sign up Please give

42:28

me to Fifteen G's Please guys please.

42:30

And if we had twenty thousand will

42:32

freeze are down and a block of

42:34

ice is my a big trailer doesn't

42:37

have that anymore They were to argue.

42:39

I looked through a hole in the

42:41

Isis your dad and they're reading comments

42:43

a pissing in a bag of say

42:45

said get out of Maximum fun.org last

42:48

join helplessly or that and optimizers. That's

42:50

why they're that I can't freeze Our

42:52

dad at this age. Course

42:55

you're gonna freeze your dad. This is

42:57

like the movies the do at that.

42:59

And when. He stuff as you the years

43:01

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43:03

ah I'm so proud of this so and

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what we all have been able to make

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together and the way we've been able to

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hire people to help us out literally. I

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much. Maximum fun.org/joined. Thank. You

43:34

all so much enjoy the rest the episode.

43:49

So. Lady Godwin. Ah,

43:51

the bartender. Is

43:53

looks confused and effect so yeah but

43:56

your you are still eighty god would

43:58

right. You'll. like it You were

44:00

a person, and then you were a horse, but

44:02

you are Lady God. I'm sorry, I'm kidding. I'm

44:05

frankly not sure what I am. Oh, okay. Uh,

44:07

cool. I just, I just make sure he's going

44:09

to slash a dagger at you. 13 versus AC.

44:13

No. No, okay. He slashes a

44:15

dagger at you, uh, and

44:17

comes up, uh, just short. And

44:19

then he looks at you kind of sheepishly like, I

44:21

don't know, man. Uh, it

44:24

was rude, but I, I get it. Uh,

44:26

next in the order is

44:28

the, uh, wereraven. The

44:31

wereraven is, uh, going

44:34

to flap around sort of

44:36

aimlessly, uh, over the surface of

44:38

the water, uh, as

44:40

he has been blinded. Uh,

44:42

and, uh, next in the order

44:45

is Brother Philo. Brother Philo,

44:47

just to sort of, uh, walk you back

44:49

through it, there are, uh, two security guards

44:51

remaining in here, uh, and

44:53

one of them is, uh, is blinded.

44:55

The one that, uh, just attacked you.

44:57

The one that is right in front of you. Uh,

44:59

the one next to you that just ate a horse is

45:02

doing all right. And also

45:04

just, uh, um, there's a big

45:07

scary weretiger, and just,

45:09

yeah, just me. Yeah.

45:11

Just my, just soloing. Is

45:13

the weretiger wolfman? Yeah. No,

45:16

no, no. The weretiger is a weretiger. The wolfman's, the

45:19

wolfman's werewolf. Wolfman's around the side.

45:21

He just ran around the building to get

45:23

back on, on, on the dance floor. Okay.

45:27

Um, Brother Philo casts

45:29

snare on the

45:31

weretiger. Okay. Thank you. What's that

45:34

mean? Um, with

45:36

snare. You can play snare. With

45:38

snare. Wait a minute. Uh,

45:45

it's nearly invisible. Requiring a successful

45:47

intelligence check against your spell. Save

45:49

DC to be discerned. It triggers,

45:52

it'll trigger under the weretiger. It

45:54

must succeed on a dexterity saving

45:56

throw or be magically hoisted Into

45:59

the air. leaving it hanging upside down

46:01

three feet above the ground Or the

46:03

floor. Now. One

46:06

technicality here is that I don't think

46:08

this is something you cast on a

46:10

creature. It is a thing that you

46:12

make and then when they move into

46:15

the area protected by the spell it

46:17

activates, I. Sell.

46:19

Waves had I not cast it under

46:21

the where tiger. Okay,

46:25

Guy you their. How

46:27

far is he from on the where Tiger. Ah

46:30

silo! And be young. see

46:33

the up it's twenty. Say if he creates

46:35

like a trapping you could said about six

46:37

cats. the wolf man. That

46:40

is another good point. The Wolf man is

46:42

actively running. This.

46:44

This direction. Brother. Follow.

46:48

Moves. Into position he can he see

46:50

the wolf Man? Yes you can now

46:53

see the wolf man. He is about

46:55

to sort of run this sort of

46:57

narrow path. He is running straight towards

46:59

the state, straight towards basically we're much

47:01

is a has been down and. If

47:04

I were, if if he were to want

47:06

to place a snare. Ah,

47:08

where the wolf mammal intercepted. How

47:11

far will he up moving in

47:13

a position to do that? Ah,

47:15

the reins for this. He is

47:17

the me. Fifteen feet. Ah

47:20

I'm you can do it. You would take

47:22

an attack of opportunity in order to get

47:24

in position. Okay I don't mind the security

47:26

guard but he has blinded so he bought

47:28

disadvantage on that attack of opportunity says role

47:30

that. By.

47:34

Oh yikes. Nineteen and a twenty four. See

47:38

if that is it as a nineteen that

47:40

I did of going ahead sir does ah

47:42

okay you're going to take i have a

47:44

seven point say disadvantage nineteen or twenty fours

47:47

yeah right at night he misses low role

47:49

as a as seven points a piercing damage.

47:53

i you are able to get to where

47:55

you can place with their job where i

47:57

put a pull a piece of rope this

48:00

I'm trying to follow the rules right so

48:03

he pulls a

48:05

piece of rope out throws it in

48:08

a general direction where he feels like the

48:10

wolf man is gonna intercept and

48:13

tosses this snare there on

48:15

the ground and it's invisible good

48:19

deal with that yeah deal with that

48:21

how do you like me now how about and

48:24

then you say

48:26

like right there you sir but this circle

48:28

yeah that seems to be the best

48:30

spot okay and then you can

48:33

still move a little can I the

48:36

boat my I mean

48:38

no you use pretty much your whole move to get

48:41

all the way up up to here okay

48:45

okay next to the order is

48:47

DJ Tom how

48:50

are you doing health wise but

48:54

I'm not bad I've been hit a couple times

48:56

but it's all been with a thing so I'm

48:58

down like 28 of like 42 or something 29

49:00

or 40 he's going to really

49:07

quickly he unplugs a cord and then

49:09

slams another one in and then you

49:11

see him typing on a little laptop

49:13

and he hits enter and you just

49:15

hear repeated over this EDM music just

49:17

repeated refrains of they're great they're great

49:22

they're great you

49:24

see Tony the we're tiger start

49:26

to look around all around just getting

49:29

so confused as these a

49:31

thongs cast dissonant whispers on him he

49:33

take down this is my boy I love

49:37

him the tiger is going to

49:39

make a wisdom saving throw and

49:42

by the way dissident whispers my favorite

49:44

wham song yeah VCS so good okay

49:46

he is going to take some damage

49:48

here 3d6 10 points damage and then

49:57

he is going to have

50:00

to move as far away from DJ Thumbs as

50:02

he possibly can. Now

50:06

I will say as a result of this, I

50:08

don't know if this is what you wanted or not, Brother

50:11

Philo, but he is going to be the one who hits

50:13

your snare. And taking an opportunity

50:15

attack for me. And taking an opportunity

50:18

attack. So make your opportunity attack against

50:20

him, Mutt. Uh,

50:23

19. Yeah, absolutely that hits. But what

50:25

are you attacking with? Not

50:28

your crossbow. Oh man. I

50:30

mean, you're adjacent to him, you can. Oh, okay.

50:32

Then it would have been 17. I mean, yeah,

50:35

I just care more

50:38

about the damage. Yeah, okay. Uh,

50:41

oh yeah, full, uh, 4 plus

50:43

4 plus another D6 because of

50:46

my player spray. Damn, dude. So,

50:49

A plus 5, so 13 points

50:51

of damage. Wow, okay, huge. And then

50:53

he is going to hit the snare,

50:56

and now he,

50:59

you see this rope suddenly

51:01

stretch and appear and elongate

51:04

and seem to connect something in

51:06

the ceiling, and it

51:09

is going to try to rip him up

51:11

into the air. He has to succeed on

51:13

a Dexterity saving throw. Uh, let's

51:15

see how that goes for him. That

51:21

is a 7, which does

51:23

not beat your spellcasting modifier. He is

51:26

whipped up into the air,

51:28

now just sort of flailing

51:30

around, swinging precariously. You see

51:32

Wolfman kind of stop right in front of

51:34

the wear tiger, almost get hit by him

51:36

as it swings around in the air like

51:38

a wrecking ball. And the

51:40

Wolfman looks a little

51:42

bit nervous about this. Next

51:45

in the order is going to be, let

51:47

me think, that was DJ Thumbs.

51:49

Okay, security guards. I

51:52

think that these guys are

51:54

just going to swarm on you, Lady Godwin.

51:57

That is,

51:59

one is going to trying to bite you 14 versus

52:01

AC. What's

52:05

on the tie? The tie. A tie hits. 14 versus

52:08

AC. So you're going to

52:10

take six points of piercing damage and

52:12

make a DC 13 strength saving throw

52:14

for me. You

52:16

got it. Come on. You can drink saving

52:18

throw? Yes, please. I believe in you. Yes.

52:25

Yeah! Let's see how the other one does.

52:27

The other wolf tries to bite you for 16 hits, and

52:30

you are going to take five points of piercing damage and

52:32

make another DC 13 saving throw. Also,

52:36

this second wolf should have had advantage because of

52:38

their pack tactics. Strength

52:42

save. This one is 10 plus 5, 15. That

52:46

also saves. You are not knocked

52:48

prone as two wolves jump up,

52:50

and both each grab either arm,

52:52

biting it intensely. Okay,

52:56

now the were tiger goes, and he is ensnared. He

52:59

can make a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage at

53:01

the end of each of its turns. Or

53:05

another creature can try to save

53:09

him, but I guess he can't do anything during his action. He just

53:11

has to try and save. Wild.

53:13

Okay. He is going

53:15

to try that then. Dexterity saving throw with disadvantage.

53:21

Eight does not save. The other was

53:23

20, so he is still suspended in the air. The

53:28

bodyguards are either dead or gone as is fish

53:30

sticks, and we move on to Crawford Muttner. Mutt,

53:32

your prospects have improved dramatically from around the area.

53:34

Yeah, I'm feeling great. Is

53:38

him being scared? Does that give me advantage on attack? Yes.

53:41

When a creature is restrained, yes, you

53:43

have advantage. Okay, that's it. I am going

53:45

to... Technically,

53:50

he could attack with disadvantage, but I

53:52

genuinely cannot imagine a physical scenario unless

53:54

he had assisted and someone pushed him

53:56

from behind into you to try and

53:58

fight. far enough away from

54:00

him. Yeah right. If he went to the site he couldn't reach

54:02

me. Okay great I'm gonna

54:04

shoot my crossbow into his back is

54:06

what I'm aiming for. Okay go ahead

54:08

and make that attack roll you have

54:10

plus one because of the... So that

54:13

would be a 15 on the first one.

54:16

Oh okay so a 15. A 15... a 15 hits. Six.

54:26

Six. And

54:29

so then the damage is five

54:32

plus four nine plus one ten plus

54:35

six. Well

54:40

d6. Yeah plus one

54:42

so 11 points of damage for

54:44

that. Okay. Alright

54:48

that weretiger is not looking too good

54:50

not not the least of his worries

54:52

being that he is suspended by the

54:54

ceiling by his feet. Okay you have

54:57

anything else? I'm

54:59

going to do Hunter's

55:01

Mark on

55:05

the wolfman.

55:09

Okay. So I

55:11

think they're but hmm wait no hold

55:13

on okay Slayer's prey doesn't say it's

55:16

concentration it doesn't

55:19

say it's my mark. Okay.

55:21

Okay yeah so Hunter's

55:24

Mark on the

55:26

wolfman. Okay I'll mark him as

55:28

such. And

55:30

what does that do exactly? So that another

55:32

1d6 extra

55:35

damage when I hit him and

55:39

also advantage on perception or

55:41

survival checks. And you

55:43

can track him yeah yeah okay when

55:45

you hit him or when any and

55:48

I hit him okay okay

55:51

next in the order is

55:53

the wolfman who is

55:56

finally close enough He

55:59

is going to run the. Down Easy.

56:01

Going to free the tiger. Ah

56:04

yeah, he's going to try to. I think

56:06

that the wolf man I'm. You

56:08

know he's the wolf man, but yeah,

56:11

he clocks in a little bit lower

56:13

in the weight class than this. Where

56:15

tiger are? You get the sense that

56:17

he was hanging out in his office

56:19

because maybe this were tigers the wolf

56:22

mans personal bodyguard. Ah, so he is

56:24

going to bake in Intelligence check. Ah.

56:27

Not his strongest suit.

56:29

Ah to. Try

56:34

and break this affect your

56:36

what is your your spell

56:38

Save Dc Tina that then

56:41

save his dexterity Thirteen Zarein

56:43

that I saw spell. Your

56:46

spell Save Dc a Thirteen! Cel

56:50

he's going to try and try hidden save

56:52

his. His

56:54

bodyguards year. He

56:57

gets a oh well, ah,

56:59

Max out of despair Lane

57:01

fails to break him out

57:04

of this positions ah, he

57:06

is going to then just

57:09

sort of frustratingly push him

57:11

aside ah and charge up

57:14

on you. Ah,

57:16

but. Ah,

57:18

but he has his ama. Ah

57:21

but he uses exits against and

57:23

me now he cannot. Ah next

57:25

in the order with his lady

57:28

goblin lady God When you have

57:30

three enemies around you two security

57:32

guards and one bartender nobody. Date

57:34

on turn has come and gone

57:36

are the are blinded creatures are

57:38

no longer. And

57:41

have look. Ah, one

57:43

of the security guards is nearly

57:46

bloodied. The other two are of

57:48

of haven't touched. on

57:51

i go after the merely

57:53

bloody one about with with

57:56

jennifer myers but i'm trying

57:58

to like added This

58:00

is not an easily attack. Try to knock him

58:02

out with the flat part of the axe. Uh,

58:05

okay, well, make an attack roll. If

58:07

it drops him to zero hit points, he

58:10

establishes a 10. What's

58:13

that? Ten? No.

58:16

Not a 10. It

58:19

is. No, I know. You

58:21

do have your frenzy by friend. Yeah,

58:24

I'm gonna take my frenzy attack. Okay. Um...

58:29

Another... Nine

58:33

plus five, fourteen. Fourteen does hit. Alright.

58:37

Six plus three, nine. Nine damage. Nine

58:40

does not quite take him down, but

58:42

he is very close. Alright.

58:46

Okay, next in the order

58:49

is the bartender. The

58:52

bartender is going

58:54

to try to grapple

58:56

you. Okay.

58:59

So that is a special melee attack it is

59:01

going to make against you. Basically

59:04

try and set you up for some

59:06

pretty bad hits from these two werewolf

59:08

security guards here. So

59:11

that is going to be... Yes, twenty-two

59:13

versus your AC is going to hit.

59:17

Grapple means we

59:20

are going to make a

59:22

contested acrobatics check. Alright, contested

59:24

acrobatics? Yes. Oh

59:27

my god. Four plus

59:30

two, six. Six.

59:33

Okay, I got a four

59:36

minus one on both of the

59:38

rolls there. So I got

59:41

a three. He basically tries to

59:43

run around your ankles with a rope and

59:45

tie you up like sort of an at-at.

59:48

But you are able to... And I feel like I kind of

59:50

trip on it. Barely am able

59:52

to like... But he does not take you down.

59:55

Next in the order is

59:58

the wereraven. The wereraven... is

1:00:01

going to swoop down

1:00:03

on you, Brother Philo, and with

1:00:05

his talents he's going to try

1:00:07

and grapple with you. So

1:00:10

let's do a acrobatics

1:00:12

check and test it. That

1:00:16

is a 21. I thought

1:00:18

I made the check. No, now you check. You are trying to be

1:00:20

a 21. See if he can test it.

1:00:23

I mean, is he versus Griff? Wow.

1:00:25

Okay. Yep,

1:00:30

16. Pretty good, but not quite

1:00:32

enough. He slides his

1:00:35

enormous talents over

1:00:37

your tiny puppet shoulders and lifts you off the ground

1:00:40

pretty effortlessly and drags

1:00:43

you over the surface of the

1:00:45

water. Next

1:00:47

in the order is you,

1:00:50

Brother Philo, as luck would have it. Can

1:00:55

I still function? You can. I mean, can I

1:00:57

cast spells even though I'm floating above

1:00:59

the water? Yes,

1:01:02

so you can. When you are grappled, you

1:01:05

have the grappled condition, which...

1:01:08

No, it's just that your speed is zero, so you can't move,

1:01:12

but you can act as normal. The

1:01:14

condition is that the grappler is incapacitated,

1:01:16

or if in effect removes the grappled

1:01:18

creature from the reach of the grappler

1:01:20

or grappling effect. You can also spend

1:01:23

your action trying to escape the grapple, but that

1:01:26

takes up your whole action. But otherwise, yeah, you

1:01:28

can act unencumbered. You just can't move. All

1:01:31

right. Brother

1:01:34

Philo is going to cast Ray of Sickness

1:01:37

on the Weretiger. Okay, cool. Sort

1:01:39

of hang in there. His little wooden legs dangling

1:01:42

in midair. Yeah. Adorable. Little

1:01:44

aerial assault puppet. So

1:01:47

Ray of Sickness is, I believe, an

1:01:49

attack roll. Yep. And...

1:01:55

That's a 25. Holy shit. That's a

1:01:57

nat 25. Wow.

1:02:02

I think you have to have a

1:02:04

special feat for spells to crit, right?

1:02:06

Travis, you've played more D&D than me.

1:02:08

Is that right? Spells

1:02:10

that require an attack roll can

1:02:12

critically hit. However, spells

1:02:14

that rely on a saving throw

1:02:17

cannot crit. Okay, and you are

1:02:19

going to roll double damage on this.

1:02:22

Nice, Dad. So, 4d8

1:02:24

poison damage. And

1:02:28

it's also going to make a con save. Holy

1:02:31

fucking crap, man! That's a 3, a 5, an 8, and

1:02:33

a 6. That would be 22. Okay,

1:02:40

yes. This saber-toothed

1:02:42

tiger looks...sook? That

1:02:46

didn't polish him off! It did not polish him

1:02:48

off. He is also going to need to make

1:02:50

a con save here to see if he is

1:02:52

poisoned. And he

1:02:55

is not, he does save from that. Yeah,

1:03:00

he looks really very

1:03:02

quite rough. He

1:03:04

is suspended in the air by

1:03:08

his feet, and he is spinning around

1:03:10

and just throwing up. Just

1:03:12

yarksing, yeah. It is a horrifying, it is

1:03:14

a really, really, really weird sight. It's

1:03:18

like Life of Pi's super

1:03:20

weird direct-to-video sequel taking place.

1:03:24

He did kind of tie me up for a

1:03:26

second, so he deserves whatever he gets. That

1:03:29

is true. Yes, fair maybe. Okay,

1:03:32

next in the order is

1:03:34

DJ Thumbs. DJ

1:03:37

Thumbs is going to now slow

1:03:40

things down a little bit. He

1:03:43

is going to cast Mass Healing Word

1:03:47

on the three of you. He is

1:03:50

also going to cast it on the dead horse because

1:03:52

I don't even think he understands what

1:03:55

is going on and what happened. What he is able to do with

1:03:57

the power of Pi. Music

1:04:00

oh man, so he's gonna give

1:04:02

it to all y'all This

1:04:04

is going to be you all heal for six

1:04:07

points of damage Hey

1:04:09

Griffin, I need you to make some kind of check

1:04:11

to see if his music brings the horse back to

1:04:13

life Try

1:04:15

don't just say no He's a lucky DJ

1:04:17

if you make a luck check Travis if you make a

1:04:19

luck check if you get a crit The horse will be

1:04:21

alive and it will be forever in your debt. Oh Oh

1:04:26

My god, you couldn't see it, but it was

1:04:28

literally on it's a two, but it was

1:04:30

so close to a nat 20 Oh my god

1:04:32

now DJ thumbs looks over at the dead horse

1:04:34

and wait for it to get up But

1:04:36

then he's leaving buddy, and then he looked at

1:04:39

you guys He's like He

1:04:43

pointed too hard Sleeping

1:04:51

All right, man security guards, how are you doing over

1:04:53

there lady guy? All

1:04:55

fine okay cool cuz he's pretty trying to hit

1:04:58

me, but nobody's been able to do it I've

1:05:00

got my animal instincts are still embedded in my

1:05:02

in my RNA somewhere. Yeah, you can take the

1:05:04

horse out of the Frankenstein

1:05:08

That think that's actually the end of that into the

1:05:10

thought yeah, you can't do it. It

1:05:13

was the whole point of this mission Yeah, that

1:05:15

is a 16 versus AC and a 21 versus

1:05:17

AC Yeah,

1:05:20

one of those head to the other

1:05:22

one hits also Okay,

1:05:24

so you're going to take 12 points

1:05:27

of piercing damage total from these two wolves

1:05:30

Werewolves sorry you're also going to make need

1:05:32

to make two DC 13 strength

1:05:34

savings rose And

1:05:44

Two that's a A

1:05:49

Finally finally the weakened security guard

1:05:51

the one you have almost polished

1:05:53

off Manages to swipe you

1:05:55

off your feet. You are now prone Being

1:05:58

attacked by two wolves and

1:06:01

a knife-wielding bartender. It

1:06:03

thinks don't get much worse than that.

1:06:06

Savor 2 Tiger Man, he's uh...

1:06:09

He is going to... well first he's going to take some poison

1:06:11

damage, I think. Um...

1:06:14

no he's saved. Yes

1:06:16

he did, you're right. Then he is

1:06:18

going to... Uh,

1:06:21

I mean, he's just going to have to try and

1:06:23

escape again. So another dexterity saving

1:06:25

throw with disadvantage. This is a brutal

1:06:28

condition. Say you can only

1:06:31

save, you have disadvantage on the

1:06:33

check. Welcome to D&D my friend.

1:06:35

Yeah, get it Dad. You can be welcomed there

1:06:37

by Dad. Fuck, that's a 20 and

1:06:39

a 5, so he still is trapped

1:06:41

up in there. Uh,

1:06:43

next in the order is Mutt. So

1:06:47

the wolfman's bearing down on me. Yeah.

1:06:51

I'm going to uh, uh, prepare an

1:06:53

action. I'm gonna ready an action. I

1:06:57

want to be ready that when he

1:06:59

like, lunges for me, I want to

1:07:01

try to like, throw him.

1:07:05

Like with his energy, right? I want to be able

1:07:07

to dodge when he attacks to see if I can get

1:07:09

him to go into the water. Okay,

1:07:11

then yes, you can set up

1:07:14

a... your reaction. You have read

1:07:16

this situation pretty well here, right?

1:07:18

You can ready an attack action,

1:07:20

essentially, after his attack action,

1:07:22

right? It is not going to nullify his,

1:07:24

but it does mean that like, after he

1:07:26

attacks you, then you can do your, uh,

1:07:30

you can do your, your throw. Um,

1:07:32

otherwise it's like sort of a counter attack, which

1:07:34

does have its own sort of mechanics. Like, once,

1:07:36

and shit like that. If I wait, if I

1:07:39

ready it until he has attacked me first, would

1:07:41

I get some kind of advantage to go with

1:07:43

his momentum? You know what? We can say

1:07:45

this. We can say this. Uh, you

1:07:48

can do this. Let's just do this, right? Wolfman's next. Okay,

1:07:50

so we can just, we can just rectify this right now.

1:07:53

Uh, if you want to step to the edge

1:07:55

of the stage here and have your trigger be

1:07:57

when he gets in melee range, you step out

1:07:59

of it. of the way. That is fine. I

1:08:01

think he is still going to make an attack

1:08:03

roll on you, but if he misses, he is

1:08:06

going to go flying. Okay.

1:08:10

Then, here we go.

1:08:12

He is going to use... He

1:08:16

is going to, as he lunges at you, he

1:08:18

is going to try to bite you. He

1:08:21

is going to roll A. 10 and

1:08:27

11. Neither of them hit your

1:08:29

AC. Okay. You

1:08:31

see the wolfman go sailing over

1:08:34

you as you duck down. He

1:08:36

crashes into the mic stand, crashing

1:08:39

to the ground, sending a supersonic boom

1:08:41

through all the speakers in this room.

1:08:43

He hits the ground after flying off

1:08:46

the stage and rolls and splashes into

1:08:48

the water, and he takes

1:08:50

13 points of goldfish damage.

1:08:56

You see him stand up out of the

1:08:58

water and just yell, Fuck!

1:09:02

He is getting increasingly

1:09:05

enraged. Lady

1:09:08

Godwin, you are

1:09:11

up. Okay. Also

1:09:13

down. I want to use my move action

1:09:15

to get up.

1:09:18

That is what it

1:09:21

works, right? I did not need

1:09:23

to go anywhere. I got lots of great guys. I

1:09:26

got lots of

1:09:29

great buds. I

1:09:31

got to attack my dude again. I got to

1:09:34

do it again. Make a

1:09:38

great action with the flat side of the axe.

1:09:40

It has got to be tough to watch. At

1:09:42

this point, he keeps flapping with the side of

1:09:44

the axe. Is it 11? Nope. 11 does

1:09:47

not hit. I just missed the side of

1:09:49

his head. Yeah. You have lost a

1:09:51

decent amount of blood at this point.

1:09:53

But then, as the arc is done,

1:09:55

you see her ready her muscles and

1:09:58

she is swinging back. Try

1:10:00

again. This time for sure. Lady Godwin has had

1:10:02

that streak of bad luck. Yeah,

1:10:05

it's an exact 11 of games with

1:10:07

the exact same result. So tired. Man!

1:10:09

You've been through a lot. Shit. I've

1:10:12

been through a lot of species.

1:10:15

No kidding, the last two episodes

1:10:17

have been fucking brutal dice-wise for

1:10:19

Lady Godwin. Yeah, I can't

1:10:21

get anything to go with that. Okay, next

1:10:23

in the order is the bartender.

1:10:27

The bartender is going to...

1:10:33

Now having run out of daggers, he is

1:10:35

going to swing a bottle at

1:10:38

your head. He rolls a... Six.

1:10:46

Not going to do it. The bartender

1:10:48

swings wide and misses, setting the

1:10:50

bottle rolling across the floor. Next

1:10:53

in the order is the wereraven. The

1:10:57

wereraven is going to drop

1:11:00

you in the water, Philo.

1:11:04

You splash down and

1:11:07

immediately you are surrounded

1:11:09

by golden scaled demons. Make

1:11:15

a luck check for me, because I don't

1:11:17

think they would know 100% that you are

1:11:22

part of the good guy team. But seeing a puppet

1:11:24

land in the water. If you get a 10 or

1:11:26

above, I think they'll figure it out. That's

1:11:29

a d20, right? Yes. So

1:11:34

that would not be a three. You are assaulted

1:11:36

on all sides. Why a

1:11:38

goldfish? You are going to

1:11:41

take... Whoa!

1:11:45

Okay, 11 points of goldfish damage. You

1:11:50

are also now face-to-face with the wolfman,

1:11:54

who stands up to his full

1:11:56

height and just glowers over your

1:11:58

little puppet body. You are

1:12:00

not in danger of drowning, which is great news. And

1:12:04

you are somewhat bullying it. Yeah, absolutely. But

1:12:07

you are now sandwiched between the wereraven

1:12:09

and the wolfman. It is a not

1:12:11

great place to be. Unless

1:12:14

you're into that. Unless you are into

1:12:16

that stuff. Next you are up, Brother

1:12:18

Philo. Okay. Brother

1:12:20

Philo is going to move slightly

1:12:22

to his left.

1:12:26

Alright. You can do that as long

1:12:28

as you don't leave this area immediately next to the

1:12:31

wereraven and wolfman. I'm not leaving the area. And

1:12:34

then he is going to

1:12:36

cast, with

1:12:38

his last spell slot, Tasha's

1:12:41

Caustic Brew. A

1:12:44

stream of acid emanates from you in a

1:12:46

line 30 feet long and 5 feet

1:12:48

wide in a direction you choose. Each

1:12:51

creature in the line must succeed on a dexterity

1:12:53

saving throw or be covered in acid. But the

1:12:56

spell's duration, or until

1:12:58

a creature uses its action to scrape or

1:13:00

wash the acid off itself, or another creature.

1:13:02

A creature covered in the acid takes

1:13:04

2 d4 acid damage at the start of each of

1:13:06

its turns. And because of where

1:13:08

he moved, he is

1:13:11

going to hit the wolfman and

1:13:13

the weretiger. I was just

1:13:16

going to say that that should get paid

1:13:18

to read spell descriptions, but I guess he

1:13:20

already does. Yeah. Okay,

1:13:24

so what's my, what's my, is this an attack or

1:13:26

save? Dex? Thirteen

1:13:29

dexterity? Yeah, dexterity save. Okay.

1:13:33

I'm going to say the wolfman

1:13:37

is in

1:13:39

a body of water. He is exposed.

1:13:42

You're going to be able to hit him. It's not

1:13:44

going to be too hard for him to wash that

1:13:46

off. In exchange, this is difficult

1:13:48

terrain. He is not going to be able to

1:13:50

get out of this, the way of this attack,

1:13:52

like particularly swiftly. So

1:13:55

he is going to have disadvantage on his dex

1:13:57

save here. And

1:14:04

that is an 11 on a

1:14:06

track which fails. The tiger's just going to fail.

1:14:08

Like, there's no way. There's no

1:14:10

way this tiger gets out of the way of this attack.

1:14:12

He's suspended by ropes through the ceiling. He has zero movement.

1:14:14

There's no way. So go ahead and

1:14:16

roll damage. 2d4,

1:14:19

that would be a 4 and

1:14:22

a 2. That would be

1:14:24

6, right? Yes. And

1:14:28

then what's the...is there an ongoing thing? Well,

1:14:30

they take acid damage at

1:14:32

the start of each of their turns. Okay,

1:14:34

cool. Alright.

1:14:38

And that didn't kill the weretiger?

1:14:40

Death's door on the weretiger. The

1:14:43

wolfman is...he still looks alright.

1:14:45

He is seething. Okay,

1:14:48

we move on to DJ

1:14:51

Thumbs. DJ Thumbs

1:14:56

looks at the three of you, gives each

1:14:58

a thumbs up, and he's like, Bop, bop, bop! He

1:15:02

casts motivational speech. DJ Thumbs

1:15:04

somewhat. You all

1:15:06

gain five temporary hit points. If you are hit

1:15:08

by an attack, you have advantage on the next

1:15:10

attack roll that you bank. And

1:15:16

the security guards are gonna go... Same

1:15:19

old story as last time. They

1:15:21

are just gonna keep trying to

1:15:23

eat you, Lady Godwin. And

1:15:25

they're feeling pretty good about how they've been

1:15:27

doing it that so far. 13

1:15:30

versus AC? And

1:15:34

10 versus AC? Wow, I just talked a

1:15:36

lot of shit. And I will

1:15:38

own up to that. They both try

1:15:40

to bite you, but their jaws are just getting really, really

1:15:42

tired from all the biting that they've been doing. Sabretooth

1:15:45

Tiger. He is...the sabretooth

1:15:48

tiger roars out in pain.

1:15:50

In discomfort. And

1:15:55

it is

1:15:57

so loud, it rattles the windows. and

1:16:00

glasses on the tables in here

1:16:03

and the

1:16:07

Wolfman turns

1:16:10

away from his fury, turns

1:16:12

away from you, Brother Philo, to

1:16:15

look at this

1:16:17

wounded being that

1:16:20

is suspended from the ceiling and sick

1:16:22

and burned and

1:16:26

he...but still alive!

1:16:28

Still alive. He sighs

1:16:32

and you see him almost

1:16:35

shrink down a little bit and

1:16:38

he says, Enough.

1:16:44

Enough. I'll

1:16:48

tell you where track and live. And

1:16:54

then you're gonna leave here and

1:16:56

you are never, ever going

1:16:58

to walk these ways. Deal.

1:17:06

Was that me too? Oh,

1:17:08

that's a good question, man. Yeah, I didn't mean to speak for

1:17:11

everybody. Is that... Oh, yes. I'm not

1:17:13

revisiting the way I am. He

1:17:15

splashes his face down in the water, washes

1:17:17

the acid off, moves over to the weretiger,

1:17:19

starts to feed him. Do you have

1:17:21

a couple goldfish on his face? He's got a couple

1:17:23

goldfish. He flicks off of him. The wereaven picks you

1:17:25

up out of the water and flies you out and

1:17:27

kind of shakes your hand. And

1:17:30

he's like, It's only a good show. The

1:17:33

one security guard who was unconscious in the

1:17:35

water comes out and he's also okay. The

1:17:38

horse is dead as fuck. Well, DJ Thos walks over

1:17:40

and just starts nudging him like, Come

1:17:43

on, man! No, no, no, let it know.

1:17:46

No, George. The Wolfman says,

1:17:50

Yes, that means all of you,

1:17:52

although we

1:17:55

should all probably go take a look at

1:17:57

the security footage of this man.

1:18:00

battle that just took place and

1:18:02

rebuy all of the

1:18:05

different creatures yeah we'll go back through

1:18:07

yeah man otherwise we'll go back to

1:18:09

I'm gonna buy mr. please there was

1:18:11

a couple oh god yeah

1:18:13

cuz late God when you

1:18:15

got bit right the were ravens like I don't

1:18:17

take high boss you bit anyone did I will

1:18:20

do you but I that's not it that's not

1:18:22

technically a bite okay

1:18:24

well double check figure

1:18:26

it out oh

1:18:30

one more thing the lady

1:18:32

goblin flips a coin on

1:18:35

the bartender that

1:18:37

should settle my time

1:18:39

for the drinks that

1:18:41

I got earlier yeah

1:18:43

1650 and I

1:18:46

have credit you want me to run your credit card and

1:18:49

you want to keep your staff open there is a I've

1:18:51

got a five keep

1:18:53

the puppy no

1:19:01

amazing a talking puppet what

1:19:04

you should know it's worth eight drinks

1:19:35

you A

1:20:31

worker owned network of artist owned

1:20:34

shows supported directly by you. It's

1:21:00

important to be chipping in a little bit

1:21:02

if it's at all possible for you. I

1:21:04

know for some folks it's not. I completely

1:21:06

get it. But if it's possible for you

1:21:08

to do that, it makes our entire life

1:21:10

possible like in the lives of people who

1:21:12

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1:21:14

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1:21:16

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1:21:21

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1:21:25

our team and you make that possible. You are

1:21:27

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1:21:29

are so grateful to that. Once a

1:21:32

year we ask you to do that for us and this

1:21:34

is that time. So if you could please

1:21:36

head on over to the website right now and

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join up. It would

1:21:40

just mean the world to us. If

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of stuff there as far as the

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doing a bunch of live streams over the next 10

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days. You're not going to want to miss

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those. All that information will be in the

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also, if you're already a

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it's fan art, talking about it on social media, any

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of that stuff, this is also a time of year

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All of this stuff is because of your

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if you are a member and you want to

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maybe upgrade your membership this year, if you want

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boost your membership, if you want to pay for

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available. maximumfun.org join. Uh,

1:22:46

and what real quick before we let

1:22:48

you go, dad, um, maybe you would

1:22:50

help the listener to contextualize all this.

1:22:52

What's your backup plan if the bottom

1:22:54

falls out of this? Great question. Um,

1:22:57

I am going to sell pencils in

1:22:59

downtown Ireland. Um,

1:23:04

no, no, no, I've got this, uh, I've

1:23:06

got this, uh, Trey,

1:23:08

yeah, that goes around my neck. Yeah. Uh,

1:23:11

and I have this, I have a

1:23:13

very doleful pitiful look, uh,

1:23:16

that I have, I've been with it. Um,

1:23:19

and so yeah, that's primo fashe

1:23:21

playing number one. Yeah. Right. Okay.

1:23:23

So that has no backup plan.

1:23:25

None whatsoever. It's not all, it's

1:23:27

all up to you all. maximumfun.org/join.

1:23:30

Only you can fight the cryptid,

1:23:32

I hear 10 pencil man. It's

1:23:35

we can't lose him upon the world. maximumfun.org/join. Thank you

1:23:37

all so much. And we'll see you next week.