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Hey everybody, before you get into

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want to tell them what we did for Taz this year?

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We did a bonus

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episode where I

1:25

found out just how truly evil

1:29

my sons are. What? Yeah.

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That's not nice. That's not

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fair. A fairly enjoyable, plain-o-srave

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RPG one-shot for you. Yes.

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Yes. That's true. And I

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was happy and very cool with it. And then

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I heard the bonus

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content where you revealed your insidious

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plans. And it was shocking. Yes.

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If you listen to the Mabimban bonus episode,

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you'll hear us build our plain-o-srave one-shot in

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which we devise all the diabolical traps that

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our dad stumbled into without fail. So,

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so exciting. So again,

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that link one last time, maximumfun.org. Join.

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Thank you. Enjoy the episode. Dear

2:09

diary, not

2:12

really feeling like journaling today.

2:16

And yet, as an immortal, I

2:19

find my memory is in a

2:21

state of constant peril. I

2:24

know too well the pain of forgetting

2:26

that which is most important to you.

2:29

If only I'd been a better steward

2:31

of my memories, my grand

2:35

design would not have been

2:37

necessary. Ah,

2:39

well, if eaves and

2:41

buds were candies and nuts, am I

2:44

right? Is

2:47

that long enough? I think so. Talk

2:49

to you later. If

4:14

for some reason it makes me feel

4:16

bad that Dracula makes me feel better

4:18

about myself that Dracula also ticks off

4:20

meaningless chores that he gave himself. Yeah.

4:23

Just so he can feel like... Man, self-care

4:25

is weird sometimes. I'd also like to imagine

4:28

that he just wrote TTYL. Yeah.

4:31

Yeah. There's a lot

4:33

of emoticons in Dracula's diary that I

4:35

don't know how to read out loud.

4:38

So I mostly omit them, but go ahead and imagine that

4:40

he uses a lot of them. It's

4:43

also I've never really thought about

4:45

immortality and memory together. The idea

4:47

that no matter how...

4:50

Like you would see something truly

4:52

heinous or something truly awful

4:54

would happen to you and your first thought

4:56

would be like, well,

4:58

this is going to take a while to shake. This

5:01

one's going to stick with me for

5:03

at least a hundred years. That's one

5:05

of the many dark colors I have

5:07

on my palette right now. I am

5:09

painting this in the event that... Hey,

5:11

but don't bring dad down, Justin, because

5:13

while we three are working, party dad

5:15

is ready to go. That's

5:17

true. I hate to spoil the fucking poolside

5:20

mood that dad is trying to establish

5:22

with his beverage choices today. I do.

5:25

It's 940 AM by the way. It's 940 AM Tuesday, the year of our

5:27

Lord 24. I've

5:31

been drinking Celsius. I've been getting these Celsius because

5:33

it gives you energy and it tastes good. Yeah,

5:35

you're on your hip. I do that in the

5:37

morning. So I grabbed one out of the... Can

5:40

I stop you there? Actually, dad, we're figuring fruit. Yeah.

5:43

You're not a coffee drinker. And honestly, the

5:45

escalation to Celsius is insane. It worries me.

5:47

It concerns me a little bit. That is

5:49

like you are going straight to the hard

5:51

stuff from nothing, but it's not bad. Well,

5:53

come back to dad sipping like a Monster

5:55

Energy drink and doing like a kickflip 720

5:58

or something. Trucker pills. Sorry, I'm

6:00

lazy recording. I had to stop by

6:03

the Flying J and get some fucking

6:05

bumblebees Get

6:07

some trucker speed Great.

6:10

Well, I asked I grabbed a

6:12

white claw instead of a celsius Yeah

6:17

At 940 in the morning That

6:20

is so wild. I

6:23

decided very recently our dad has never been

6:25

a drinker whatsoever So this is a weird

6:27

choice. He's not continuing to drink it either

6:29

He doesn't have a sip. He wasn't like

6:32

well in for opinion for a bath and

6:34

slammed it I've definitely I usually

6:36

have a sparkling water with a with a

6:38

dinner meal I have substituted

6:40

white claw in there when the lacrosse were on

6:43

dry and if I don't feel bad about it

6:45

white Claw like at dinner time like that's not

6:47

that's a perfectly normal thing to do like I

6:49

guess I think of it as a poolside Anyway,

6:52

let's play I'll

6:55

have a beer with dinner. I'm

6:57

a rocker. I thought I made

6:59

pizza. I'll drink the whole Coca-Cola

7:06

Man okay the the warehouse

7:08

has calmed

7:11

down all

7:13

around you Animalistic

7:15

employees are sweeping up broken

7:18

glass carting away Big

7:21

dead horse body. No no no no not

7:23

yet Oh, okay as they

7:25

are carting away the big dead horse body

7:27

puppet Philo runs over in wait wait and

7:30

casts spare the domain Okay

7:36

Read me that spell description, please you

7:38

touch a living creature that has zero hit

7:40

points Yeah, reach you

7:42

become stable This spell

7:45

has no effect on undead or

7:47

constructs, okay? This

7:50

horse was half devoured

7:53

by a werewolf so when

7:55

you bring him back Was

8:00

it 50% in one film? If

8:03

a horse warps on us, legally. No,

8:06

it is bottom half. And so when you bring him

8:09

back. He's a mantaar. Yeah, he

8:11

looks down and he looks up and

8:14

he just kind of gives a thumbs up and he's like, ewwww.

8:17

And they bring him away. And as you do that, DJ

8:20

Thumbs looks up at you with tears

8:22

in his eyes and he gives you a little

8:24

hug. He's very, very

8:26

happy. And then he hands you his business card

8:29

because he does weddings and bar mitzvahs

8:31

and parties. And so if you ever do need a

8:33

DJ for any of those. I told him I was

8:35

gonna hire him for my wedding. Okay,

8:38

he gives you one too. That's true. This is

8:40

a good networking opportunity for him. You

8:43

see as things kind of calm down

8:45

the dust, the muck in the piece

8:48

font waters below the dance floor

8:50

have settled and the vibe here has sort

8:52

of relaxed a bit. And

8:55

the wolf man

8:57

takes you up to his office. The were

8:59

tiger is there too, kind of like licking

9:01

his wounds and trying

9:04

to, he's got a couple like

9:06

wet wipes that he's trying to get sort of the. Using

9:08

tiger balm. Using tiger balm. That's very

9:10

good, Travis. Thank you so much. The

9:13

wolf man leads you over to his desk

9:15

and he leans down underneath it and he

9:17

pulls up a few rolls of parchment which he

9:20

sort of very quickly looks

9:22

through and he slaps one down on

9:24

his desk. Sorry, real quick

9:27

before we get into wolf man

9:29

narration. Yeah, sure. Did

9:31

we already accomplish all of the rebidings and

9:33

un-bidings and everything? Did I bite Mr.

9:35

Mistoffelees gently on the shoulder? We

9:39

can do that one after this if

9:41

you like Mr. Mistoffelees. I was like a different guy. I

9:43

mean, I want it to be, I want to give

9:45

it its time. Yeah, sure. I want to,

9:47

it's gonna be an intimate sexy

9:50

moment and I think we gotta really give it the

9:52

space it needs. I don't think it has to be

9:55

sexy reinstantly. On this show, we get sexy moments, time

9:57

to breathe. Yeah. The parchment

9:59

he has spread out. is a map of

10:02

Ongrave. And

10:05

on it you can see sort of the features that

10:08

you are familiar with, that you

10:10

have explored. You see the Stranglemeyer,

10:12

the Ungentlewood, you see Luminot of

10:14

course, at the heart of it. He

10:18

points to the northern cape of

10:21

this peninsula where

10:23

Dracula's keep is built.

10:26

And as you are well aware

10:28

at this point, you see that it is surrounded

10:30

on all of its sort of land

10:34

sides by

10:36

the unpassable Stranglemeyer. He

10:39

says, I'm

10:41

not telling you anything you don't already know, but

10:43

this is what you're looking for.

10:46

You want to stop Dracula.

10:50

You do it at his keep. Now as

10:52

you can see, there's

10:54

a lot of unpleasant stuff surrounding

10:57

it vis-a-vis a swamp that if

10:59

you get in there you die. Yeah.

11:03

What a lot of people don't know is

11:06

that before Ongrave got as

11:10

nasty as it is now,

11:14

there used to be an iron

11:16

mine operation. And he

11:19

slaps down a bit of onion skin parchment

11:22

on top of the northern cape.

11:25

And when he does so you can see a network of

11:28

tunnels that sort

11:30

of pass all through the Stranglemeyer

11:32

all around, one of

11:34

which you can see sort

11:36

of inns just

11:40

beyond the borders of the Stranglemeyer to

11:42

the north nearby the keep.

11:47

He says, if you're looking for

11:49

a way north, it doesn't go through

11:51

the Stranglemeyer, you go

11:53

underneath it. If

11:55

you do that, you'll be able to get

11:57

to Dracula's castle. Not again, I'm not going to Chuck,

12:00

Cody, it's not the safest route. Safer

12:03

than the swamp, though, that

12:06

swallows you up and stuff. The swamp that if you step in

12:08

it, you die? Yeah. Yes, it's safer than

12:10

the swamp that when you step in it, you die.

12:13

Okay. But not much safer. You

12:15

see, the cult of the buried blood, they operate out

12:17

of those tunnels. And they've

12:20

sealed off all the entrances. I don't know how

12:22

they're getting in and out of those things, but

12:24

it's how they move around. All

12:26

of our engraves sort of unchecked. So it's

12:28

possible to step in the tunnels and not

12:31

immediately die? Yes. Okay.

12:33

Sorry, I thought we were... I thought I had established

12:36

that. Yeah, no, you won't immediately die in the tunnels.

12:38

Yeah, no, I'm just establishing

12:41

sort of like a sliding scale. Yeah.

12:44

You know, to see where we're at. You

12:46

won't immediately die. You will die eventually when the

12:48

cult of the buried blood finds out that you're

12:51

down in their zone. Now, all the

12:53

entrances are sealed off, but there is

12:55

one entrance that I bet those cult

12:57

weirdos don't know about. There's

13:00

a quarry attached to the

13:02

mine. And many,

13:04

many, many years ago, it

13:07

flooded. And

13:10

if you find that quarry and find the

13:12

entrance, you can get into that network of

13:14

tunnels. And you don't have

13:16

to worry about how those cultists

13:18

are getting in and out. It's

13:21

flooded like I mentioned, and that is the bad

13:23

part is that you'll have to go underwater to

13:25

do that. I don't know if any of you

13:27

are swimmers. You seem extremely buoyant, my wooden friend.

13:31

But you will need to dive into the waters of the

13:33

Black Lagoon. Okay,

13:36

Black Lagoon sounds lovely. Now

13:39

Chester... Please call

13:41

me Wolfman. I don't like you very much.

13:44

No, I understand that. Listen, but for okay. Can

13:47

I just say I tried

13:49

to handle it pretty peacefully. And

13:52

like the tiger the tiger laughs while wiping acid

13:54

off of his fur. I came up

13:56

and was like, yeah, tell me where and then we'll leave. And

13:59

you all. pop-ed off you're the ones what

14:01

tied me up right so like I

14:04

came in I said hey just give me information

14:06

we'll go and you made it we

14:09

all made a lot of mistakes in the last

14:11

30 minutes I think we can all agree but

14:13

Dracula is your friend right man yeah

14:16

he's my best friend love

14:19

that guy the zany shit

14:21

we've gotten into would fucking curl your

14:23

toes if you do about even the

14:25

half of it one time

14:27

I hit up one time I hit

14:29

an old lady with my car well

14:31

Dracula's car and she exploded and it

14:33

was fucking crazy and that was just

14:36

like a Thursday night amazing

14:40

yeah must have been so traumatic for you nah

14:43

man I mean I don't think

14:45

it was a were person and so my

14:47

conscience is fairly clear and

14:50

plus like I don't know Dracula

14:52

doesn't like love the nasty stuff I

14:54

do I'm a nasty fucking freak and

14:56

so this huge just old

14:59

lady fireworks that she turned into

15:01

was fucking wild bud I

15:03

wish I'd been there to see that oh

15:06

you probably you don't seem the type

15:08

to have enjoyed a site like that

15:10

my goodness well you you would

15:12

be surprised I've seen my

15:14

fair share of nastiness oh sure

15:17

light of work mm-hmm the

15:19

pudding they serve at the

15:21

home yeah zinger

15:26

you are a card so

15:29

how do you feel about your best friend hanging

15:32

out with Frankenstein you cool is that a

15:34

good group dynamic the three you give me

15:36

an insight

15:39

check all

15:42

of you can roll off like you're all looking 17 plus 4

15:44

21 fuck

15:48

yeah 12

15:52

but you clock him

15:54

you he is he has this sort

15:56

of like LMFAO persona that he is

15:59

putting on that

16:01

is unflapping. When

16:04

you mention how he feels about

16:06

him hanging out with Frankenstein, it falters for just

16:08

a second and you catch it. He

16:12

looks bummed out but

16:15

he recovers and he says, Frankie

16:18

he's uh yeah

16:20

I mean he's got some big

16:22

ideas and you know Dracula's you

16:26

know Dracula's like he's

16:28

a complicated dude and um look

16:34

I'm not telling you guys this because

16:38

I think you can kill Dracula

16:41

but you do seem

16:43

the determined sword and so maybe

16:47

you might be able to stop him. He's

16:51

the best he's the best there ever was

16:53

to party fucking legend but

16:56

he has changed a

16:58

bit in recent

17:00

years and I'm not

17:03

wild about it and I do think Frankie has

17:05

something to do with that. So if

17:08

y'all if y'all can get in there and

17:10

foil whatever nefarious plan he's got cooked

17:12

up he'll be on some new

17:15

shit in a century or so I'm not worried about

17:17

it but I

17:19

wouldn't tell you all this stuff if

17:21

I thought you could actually kill kill

17:23

Count Dracula sure. What what is he

17:25

what is he into that's so nefarious?

17:27

Man I don't know I don't know.

17:29

Crypto scams? Cryptocurrency, NFTs,

17:32

all that shit. Are

17:35

you quite sure you have nothing else

17:37

useful to offer us? Do

17:42

you know anything about these and I hold up the

17:44

bolts that we got when

17:46

Dracula got dusted? Um

17:51

make a Lady

17:54

Godot make a persuasion check with advantage for

17:57

this for the visual sort of

17:59

reference A

18:01

20 and a 19. Wow.

18:06

He says, yeah, no

18:09

surprise here. Consider you're a

18:11

sport and a pair of them yourself.

18:13

Those are Frankie's designs. Yeah,

18:16

I mean, Dracula seems very intent

18:18

on this technology

18:22

and what it's capable of. I said,

18:24

so you can make

18:27

a groove tube in the air that people can jam

18:29

out to whenever they want? And he was like, oh,

18:32

well, you don't get it. You're so stupid.

18:34

That kind of stuff. Why

18:38

would he say such a thing? You'd

18:42

have to ask him. I

18:45

want my best friend back. I didn't

18:47

say that. Just kidding. Y'all should get out of

18:49

here. It's late. Thank

18:52

you for having us. I very much appreciate

18:54

it. No problem. Don't ever, ever come

18:57

back, please. Thank you. Thank you so much. I

18:59

did heal the man tar. That

19:03

was very tasteful. I meant to say. The

19:07

werewolf that chomped his bottom half

19:09

pops his head in the door and goes, yeah,

19:11

it was tasteful. Bazzunga!

19:13

And then he runs away.

19:19

Wolfman says, it's late. Do you guys have a place

19:21

to stay tonight? No.

19:24

You know, I haven't thought about it. Well,

19:27

that sucks. Good luck out there. Uh,

19:32

okay. As you all make your

19:34

way. All right, Justin, you look like you want to do

19:36

something. Yeah. Okay. Is

19:39

he coming with, is the Wolfman coming with us? No,

19:42

fuck no. No fucking way. Oh, okay. Well, then we'll

19:44

stay in his office for one second. Okay. There

19:47

is one more matter before we

19:50

conclude our work here. You

19:57

have been such a gracious host to us. Uh,

20:01

but I do, uh, need one

20:03

thing from you. What's

20:05

that? Your, uh, last

20:07

breath. Then I

20:10

take out Jennifer Myers, and

20:12

I, uh, swing for the neck. I

20:17

mean, turnabout is fair play, man.

20:19

Uh, go ahead and roll your

20:22

attack. That's

20:26

a natural 20. Oh my gosh! Plus

20:30

it. What the fuck?

20:32

If there ever was a time.

20:35

Oh, wolfman, no. Uh,

20:38

that's a 8 and a 1, that's 12 is the damage on that. Is

20:42

that a crit? Did you roll double, double damage?

20:46

Okay. So we got a 10 and a

20:48

5. Plus

20:53

the damage modifier. Oh. Yeah.

20:57

Uh, you... What

21:00

is that, plus? Well, it's

21:02

doing it automagically. Yeah. So

21:04

in the, in the, in the roll.

21:06

Look at adding the modifier, please. You

21:09

catch him completely by surprise. You

21:11

see his eyes open wide, uh,

21:14

as the axe comes swinging down,

21:16

and, uh, you

21:18

bury it, uh, just above

21:21

his clavicle. He

21:24

is knocked off of the chair and

21:26

goes flying, uh, against

21:28

the wall, uh, where you can see

21:30

he has a bunch of, uh,

21:33

the liquor licenses framed up there, uh, some

21:36

pictures of him and Dracula hanging out. He

21:38

smashes into it and they all come tumbling down around him.

21:41

As that happens, the were-tiger, uh,

21:44

stands up from the couch and,

21:47

uh, roars out loud. Uh,

21:49

if you don't do something here, he's, it's

21:52

gonna pop off again. What

21:55

do you mean? Something? What's

21:57

gonna pop off? What are you talking about? The

22:01

Were-Tiger, you

22:04

have not beheaded. Right. The Wolfman.

22:09

You have hurt him very, very badly. Yes.

22:12

That is great news for me. I'm going to enter

22:14

Rage as a bonus action. Okay. And

22:18

then I'm going to take you very

22:20

kindly, Griffin, level this up to level

22:22

five right before it began, which for

22:25

a Barbarian means a second attack. So

22:28

I'm going to grab Jennifer Myers out of

22:30

his throat and swing one more time. I'm

22:32

just so pissed off. Yeah, sure, sure. Twenty-four.

22:39

Yeah, that's twenty-four definitely hits. The

22:42

damage is the twelve plus

22:44

three fifteen. Jesus Christ. Yeah,

22:50

I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah.

22:55

Tell me what happens, because that's enough.

22:58

I pull the axe back out and

23:00

I swing one more time

23:02

and lop the head off. And it

23:05

goes tumbling across the floor. And I

23:07

look at Muttner and I say, help yourself to

23:09

the teeth. And then walk out

23:11

of the room. Yeah, no, I'm going to do this. Okay, hold

23:13

on. You don't walk out of the room definitely. Run

23:16

out of the room because of the tiger. You

23:18

have the tiger between you and the door. So

23:20

we're going to roll initiative here because now we're

23:22

in a now we are it now we're fighting.

23:24

But I did say that thing. And then I

23:26

look at a tiger. I'm like, I

23:29

have no quarrel with you. My

23:36

house was with the wolf man.

23:39

Okay, let's give me give

23:42

me one minute, please. Is

23:45

the weird tiger still pretty fucked up, right? Oh,

23:47

the weird tiger is pretty fucked up. Yeah, for

23:49

sure. He was at the end of death. Can

23:52

we have a chance to see

23:54

if the weird tiger can before we

23:56

roll initiative, can we at least make

23:58

sure that that with

24:00

his employer being dead, that he

24:03

does want to go ahead and

24:05

pursue this career. Especially as fucked

24:07

up as he is. It seems

24:09

like maybe this is an opportunity

24:11

for a career change right now.

24:13

Roll initiative, and if you guys

24:15

succeed in doing that, then absolutely

24:17

that can go that way. But

24:19

you have just done one of

24:22

the more sort of heinous acts that I think

24:24

we've seen on Adventure Zone. Not on warranted, he

24:26

hit you with a car so hard you exploded.

24:29

But this goofed about it,

24:31

and then goofed on you pretty hard. Yeah,

24:33

for sure. I forgot juice, I'll be honest.

24:35

I forgot who I was messing with when

24:38

I was being the wolfman just there. I

24:41

forgot who Lady Godwin was for a second,

24:43

and you just reminded me starkly. Yeah, for

24:45

sure. Yeah, he did. A

24:48

aforementioned fucking around? Yeah, absolutely.

24:50

Okay. So,

24:53

go ahead and give me those initiative rolls, please.

24:55

I got a 20. I got a 9. I

24:58

got a 14. Okay, 29 and

25:00

14. Okay,

25:03

he got

25:06

an 11. So first up,

25:08

who got the 20? Juice? I

25:11

did. Yeah. Juice, you're first up to

25:14

act. If you want to try

25:16

and disarm the situation, you certainly can try to. I

25:22

pull my axe out of the... I

25:24

feel like I swung so hard with

25:26

the second one. That Jennifer

25:28

Meyers landed in the ground.

25:31

Okay. And I take a second, I take a beat. With

25:34

my action, take a beat, pull it out,

25:37

and just turn towards the where it's at. You

25:41

don't have to die here,

25:44

but you will if

25:47

you continue pressing on. And

25:50

that's my intimidation roll. So I'm going to roll

25:52

intimidation. Yeah, don't you... Do you have advantage on

25:54

that as a barbarian? You have some sort of

25:56

extra flavor for... Um...

26:07

You gain advantage on strength checks and

26:09

saving throws. And

26:11

I have some resistances, but I don't

26:13

think... Uh, okay. Roll your

26:15

intimidation check, please. Aww. Hahahahaha!

26:22

That is a critical failure. Yeah,

26:25

man. I mean, yeah, man. That's a one

26:27

that you've rolled. Uh,

26:29

he... He doesn't

26:31

let you finish your sentence. He is next up to

26:34

act. He is not. Philo's

26:38

up next. Oh, okay. Then, yes, Philo,

26:40

you are up next. Philo

26:43

is gonna try sort of the same thing. He's

26:46

gonna step in front of the were-tiger. He's

26:48

going to take a hold of the

26:50

crystal around his neck, which he used

26:53

to blast the tiger with that ray of

26:55

sickness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That really fucked

26:58

him up. Yeah, for sure.

27:00

And say, um... I

27:03

lost my rage, by the way. Yeah,

27:05

I guess you didn't attack, sir. Um...

27:09

Hello. Just to remind you,

27:11

I really,

27:16

really missed you up earlier. I am the

27:18

one that has basically

27:20

sent you teetering over the

27:22

precipice of death. Um, so

27:25

I... As my wonderful friend

27:27

here just stated to you, you have

27:29

the choice of standing down. And I

27:31

would assume inheriting this

27:35

club... I see

27:37

no one else in the inner circle here.

27:41

And you would take over the club and be

27:44

alive, as opposed

27:46

to me

27:48

blasting you again and you

27:51

herping up all over yourself.

27:54

Think about it. You could be the head

27:56

poncho. And I

27:58

picked up one. Wolfman's head.

28:00

Yeah, yeah like some head humor sure

28:03

sure sure This

28:05

sounds all there was some persuasion mixed

28:07

up in there. I think ultimately this

28:09

is intimidation I will give you advantage

28:11

on this for the the crystal he

28:13

is he is he is not happy

28:15

to see that So

28:18

go and give me intimidation with

28:20

advantage. I think 15 or higher

28:22

is what we're looking for here Hi,

28:26

but Hectic

28:28

oh you have a nice

28:30

wanting you get advantage Now

28:35

it's a nine and a two

28:37

new puppet dad Okay,

28:42

he is going to act now

28:45

even the most intimidating puppet which

28:47

is of course slappy from goosebumps

28:52

It's only so it's only

28:54

so uh Scary,

28:56

you know, so was that my only action?

28:59

Yeah, I mean talking is a free action, but I think

29:01

if you if you try to Make

29:05

a check like that it counts as

29:07

an action, right? I think

29:09

so While

29:12

you grab what why you look into that

29:14

I'm just gonna say how impressed yes intimidating

29:16

an opponent in combat is a standard action

29:18

I pulled the name of the dummy from

29:20

goosebumps. I have chills right now. I know

29:22

juice that was huge for all Yeah,

29:26

the were tiger He's

29:29

going to leap leap forwards He

29:33

is going to multi attack first. He is going to

29:35

try to just swing a big

29:37

claw at you Philo That

29:42

is a 15 versus AC Interesting

29:45

priority of threats that the where I

29:47

go this little book that did that

29:49

but I'm the one that's good Yeah,

29:51

they're right. I'm sure take eight points

29:54

Unflashing damage and make a strength saving throw for me.

29:57

What have I got to get? You

30:00

got it. Okay, he

30:03

tries to launch you away, but

30:05

he is unsuccessful Now

30:09

he is going to take a swing

30:11

at you Lady Godwin There

30:14

that is a 18

30:19

versus AC yes And

30:22

he hits you for Six

30:26

points of slashing damage You

30:30

are up much I

30:34

cast one of my brand new spells in

30:36

Fearing Strike. Yep and I

30:41

am going to fire my heavy

30:43

crossbow at him. Okay And

30:47

that is 17

30:49

to hit it. Yep So

30:52

first it does 1d10 plus

30:55

4 so 8 points of

30:57

damage Okay, and now he needs to

30:59

make us Let's see. Boop

31:01

a boo They

31:05

need to make a strength saving throw, okay

31:10

And beat a 15 They

31:13

do not that's 11. Okay, great. So

31:16

he is restrained by magical vines and

31:21

The target takes 1d6 piercing

31:23

damage to the start of its turn And

31:27

it is restrained by divine And

31:30

much now you had two

31:32

chances With

31:34

them right and I didn't

31:37

I thought we was done Revenge

31:39

is done, but sorry, man I

31:44

hope it's no bad blood Tony. I hope we're

31:46

cool. You seem fine He

31:51

is on the brink of Unconsciousness

31:56

here. He is

31:58

snared. Do You see? Mine's that

32:00

has sprouted magically from the

32:02

great from the the floor

32:05

of this second story office.

32:07

Ah, and they are holding

32:09

him to the ground. Ah,

32:11

he seems he seems well

32:13

and truly defeated. Ah me.

32:15

Make a perception check for.

32:20

A good that. Yeah,

32:22

twenty two, Fifteen. Fifteen.

32:26

All of you clock ah out

32:28

of this big broken window that

32:31

ah much leapt through earlier or

32:33

the employees that are cleaning up

32:35

outside had stopped and are all

32:38

looking in the window. or oh

32:40

hooting be security guards that are

32:42

So tony are we go if

32:45

I let you down. Where.

32:48

You'd sell them. Stand down everything school or

32:50

dry me The Galea. Ah,

32:54

Mean, I'm not making to check, I'm

32:56

just asking. Know I mean I

32:58

think I think in this situation I will

33:00

I will allow the check if you want

33:02

to make a is intimidation again. No.

33:04

Undies as going. Okay

33:07

drugs out and of the answer is no

33:09

but if you want to put cycle has

33:11

had enough okay ah yeah make as it

33:14

doesn't matter persuasion of intimidation have as the

33:16

or on both again intimidation. Murtha.

33:19

Fine Fuck Unbelievable. Ah he roars

33:21

at the top of his long

33:24

okay I use i you're going

33:26

to thank her birthday suits and

33:28

plus nine nineteen he had I

33:30

had plus nine see that's right

33:32

yeah membranes her death so are

33:34

right for what for a more

33:36

points within each of them are

33:38

at We should go Now Ah

33:41

I'm I pull out my vampires

33:43

though and exiting the Wolfram states

33:45

yes sir Ah and you know

33:47

what the tiger fear while I'm.

33:49

At it again honoring Okay real quick

33:51

is the oh I see anything of

33:53

value. Yeah,

33:55

I just killed the will face

33:57

guess some his pocket sutton. The

34:00

movement's god forgive me. ah me

34:02

away. Seems like he has some

34:05

illegal. cigars are solvable. lousy. So

34:07

many weapons, anything? pictures of loved

34:09

ones? He I'm he's got lots

34:12

of pictures. A heaven is it

34:14

is for Repel Dracula. I mean

34:16

I guess every palaces is now

34:19

his former Sas former South. Jersey

34:22

Sylvia Dad made a bit easier. They're

34:24

immortal who will pop back up. In

34:27

Not Mad Men and I am

34:29

not this Dracula. Okay, I got

34:32

a question. did the wolf man

34:34

sainz forms When he was We

34:36

headed to the reverb on. we

34:38

have no money and. Did.

34:40

He not changed by the are

34:42

so beyond his dad the optics

34:44

that are so rough ominous a

34:46

know the answer. Is

34:49

yes okay so give me do an

34:52

investigation said Okay guys I will say

34:54

if you want to do this you

34:56

can do this. Is bad.

34:58

Sex here are going to mean slowness. meaning you

35:00

are going to the the The squad is going

35:03

to roll ups or one as savage the six

35:05

because we're having a lot of fun here. But

35:07

you guys are in a place of business and

35:09

you just killed two people in. It's not that

35:12

they didn't entirely have a common, but you are

35:14

not going to be immune to the consequences of

35:16

that. In. The middle of this werewolf night

35:18

Cli I want everybody to do there are

35:20

not trying until a my head is their

35:22

business. I. Feel very strongly that

35:25

we should be leaving. yeah I sit

35:27

down take of exhorting growing. We got

35:29

the information we need. a wolf man

35:31

were flagged down. I'm in a nibble

35:33

on midsummer. Softly from our way out

35:35

will buy me as far as signal

35:37

at you but thrown at the grounds

35:39

you go out by the the we're

35:41

going to go out the back door

35:44

that there is. yeah there is a

35:46

backdoor that is where ah map came

35:48

in. Ah ok you pop the he

35:50

popped what. Ends.

35:54

And. You all make a

35:56

break for the back door.

35:59

ah Give me... hmm...

36:03

Give me, I will say, you all...

36:05

I don't have the map pulled up, but the

36:07

stairs go down basically right to where the cats

36:09

were playing poker. You see Mr. Mistoffelee is down

36:11

there. He is scooping up some of the goldfish

36:14

into his bowl. It looks like when

36:16

things popped off earlier,

36:18

the first time things popped off, the

36:21

cats here kind of scattered, and

36:24

he is sort of collecting everyone's

36:26

winnings. Um... You...

36:31

Make... I want all of you to

36:33

either make an acrobatics check as

36:35

you sort of make a beeline

36:38

for the door or an athletics check. Either

36:41

sort of sprinting or jumping over the

36:43

table or railing or whatever. I will

36:46

give you your choice of these two things

36:48

because there is a crowd of enemies sort

36:50

of coming around the long way around

36:52

the middle of this building. Okay.

36:57

My acrobatics check. Here it comes. That's

37:02

a 5 plus 2, 7. Should

37:04

be fine. I got a 16. Okay.

37:07

Um... I got a 10. Mutt,

37:09

you are first down the stairs. Uh...

37:12

and... Mr. Mistoffelee says, uh...

37:15

What is going on? Sounds

37:17

like quite a frock is up there. Sorry,

37:19

but I wish we had more time for this. And I

37:21

give him him. Nibble his shoulder. Okay.

37:26

Yeah. He will allow that with a

37:28

16 acrobatics check you get down there

37:31

enough time to move this along. He

37:34

says, oh wow! Okay! Goodness!

37:36

Alright. Um... as

37:39

you do that... Mutt... Yeah?

37:45

Your senses are... Spirited

37:49

away. And you

37:51

are no longer standing in the

37:53

back of this nightclub. Called

37:55

the werewolves. I just

37:57

watched Griffin's face go from... Do

38:00

I have to do this for consistency sake?

38:02

And then, yeah, I guess I do have

38:04

to do this for consistency sake. Okay. You

38:06

are surrounded on

38:09

all sides by

38:12

dripping red.

38:15

For a moment, you

38:18

think, this

38:20

is hell or this

38:22

is some bloody

38:24

remains of a battlefield. What am I

38:26

doing here? And

38:28

then you realize that the red

38:31

that is dripping is marinara

38:33

sauce. And you

38:36

see standing in front of you a big

38:40

round orange

38:42

cat. And you

38:45

piece it together. You're standing in the

38:47

plane of lasagna. And this

38:51

big rascally

38:54

orange cat in front of you

38:56

smiles and says, Do

38:59

you want to live deliciously? Oh

39:05

man. Oh boy. I

39:07

wish I could say yes, man, but I'm more

39:10

of a dog person. Whatever

39:14

he lays down and just starts eating lasagna out

39:16

of the ground. You

39:20

are spirited back to the back room. And

39:22

you feel the where Kitty curse has lifted. Did

39:26

you see him? Yeah, I did,

39:29

man. He's

39:31

eating the planet? You

39:33

should go. Yeah, we're going

39:36

to scoot. Okay,

39:38

with your all's roles,

39:40

you are able to

39:43

make it out of the back room.

39:46

I'm going to say who had the slowest role there? Seven.

39:50

Seven. Make

39:52

a dexterity saving throw for me. They're

39:54

going to take some pot shots at you specifically

39:56

as you 17 plus two 19. Okay.

40:00

Ah, As you all throw open

40:02

that backdoor and spread out you

40:04

dogs are a salvo of a

40:07

crossbow bolts that come in your

40:09

direction. Ah, and you make your

40:11

way out into the woods. Ah!

40:14

I think you are going to have

40:16

to sort of dead sprint away from

40:18

this situation to try and get out

40:21

of it. He oh ever you you

40:23

are in the middle of the and

40:25

until would at night be pursued by.

40:28

Many werewolf and and were preachers of

40:30

different stripes I guess. Might you're probably

40:32

reading the charge on this. What are

40:34

you? What are you doing tonight? Yea

40:36

I have. I have something I would

40:38

like to do before we. Completely.

40:41

Split. Ah okay, can I

40:43

do that? I also found that happens

40:45

on what? Okay, I've a

40:47

spell the cast guys. Are

40:49

I cast magic Mouse? On.

40:52

The door that we just went through. A

40:54

pack. And a plant a

40:56

message within that door. Ah,

40:58

and the trigger will be if Vog.

41:01

If. Somebody approaches the door. I mean instantly.

41:03

As soon as Lady Goblin goes through

41:05

it, he has pursued by not a

41:07

bear, but several were wolves and a

41:09

gorilla. And ah, Yes, Or

41:12

a A and the door will say. Because

41:14

it's magic mouth. It.is announced.

41:16

It makes an announcement. It makes a statement.

41:19

Okay with the say. It. Says

41:21

up. About

41:23

ads All right them

41:25

though, we're cool. well

41:27

cool of say gotta

41:30

do it. Got

41:33

around. For. Serves the So this

41:35

is coming from the door of the what

41:37

mans office. Yeah. Okay, okay.

41:39

great. Ah, I'm. I.

41:41

think this is gonna be a deception

41:44

sacked i think that it is very

41:46

very clever and so i will grant

41:48

you advantage on it why is it

41:50

a deception check on it's a spell

41:52

i test oh because the wolf mans

41:55

been beheaded and so of well worth

41:57

the smell works but you are you

41:59

are Coming up with a lie

42:01

that anyone who was looking in the window,

42:03

you know, a minute ago knows is definitely

42:05

not fucking true. They

42:08

just saw Mutt pick up the Wolf Man's head and

42:10

pull his teeth out, so go

42:13

ahead and give me a deception

42:15

check with advantage. Well,

42:19

that's not gonna do it. That's a seven. And

42:24

that's an 11. Listen,

42:26

you all are able to get away, right?

42:29

I think what this gambit does is give

42:31

you a little bit more breathing room, right?

42:33

With an 11, I will say that most

42:36

of the crew here doubles back and

42:39

goes to check the office, but

42:41

you all are definitely still being pursued

42:43

at sort of sprinting speed through the

42:46

woods at night. It's

42:49

just gonna be a little bit easier than it was

42:51

otherwise. So, first of all, Mutt, what are you doing

42:53

to sort of- I have three words left in my

42:56

message. Okay, go ahead. Ouch!

42:58

My head! Okay, cool. As

43:06

soon as we hit the

43:08

edge of the forest... Sorry,

43:13

sorry. No, like, you are- this is a big

43:15

forest, and you are being chased through it. No,

43:17

no, no. I mean like, because it was a

43:20

clearing. It was a clearing. When we enter the

43:22

forest, I

43:24

am going to cast Summon Beast,

43:29

which is a new spell. Thank you. Cool.

43:33

I'm gonna make a little spiritual

43:35

sloppy. He's

43:41

never been very religious, but I would

43:43

say sloppy's pretty spiritual. And

43:46

I'm gonna have him run

43:49

off in the opposite direction

43:52

while we stop and hide.

43:56

Okay, cool. I

44:00

like that. I think that... First

44:02

of all, where's Lady Aggie? This is a

44:05

slow dog. You left Aggie at the other

44:07

side of the clearing. You

44:10

may have some trouble. No, we can say that you ran

44:12

towards Lady Aggie. This is the same exit. We went out

44:15

the back exit. This is where it would be. You're 100%

44:17

right. Okay. So this is going to help you all. I

44:24

need a group stealth check

44:26

here if this is what you're doing,

44:28

trying to hide and wait for these... you

44:30

know, were creatures to pass by. And

44:33

we will take the highest roll on this. That

44:36

is the advantage I will grant you for this diversion. Okay,

44:38

I got a 14. Okay. Mmm.

44:41

Six for me. Oh,

44:44

a stealth check? Yeah. Yeah. I

44:49

will roll a percent. That's a

44:51

7 plus 2, 9. Okay,

44:53

I'm contesting this with...

44:58

What did you get, Trapp? A 14? I got a 14. You

45:01

watch as several

45:04

now torch-wielding where people

45:07

go sprinting around. There

45:10

are a couple of close brushes where they

45:12

walk very close to the sort of ditch

45:14

that you all have taken

45:17

up hiding in. But

45:20

after laying there for

45:22

about 15 minutes or so, things

45:25

quiet down and the figures retreat back

45:27

to the warehouse. I

45:30

give a little sound click to let Aggie know that everything's

45:32

safe. I

45:38

got bit by a cat, girl. I was like a

45:40

were-cat for a second. No,

45:43

not anymore. You smell? See?

45:45

Well, anything good

45:48

happen out here? Um... The

45:54

dog can't talk. What are you doing? I don't

45:56

know. Why? You started doing it. No, you started doing

45:58

it. No, you were responding to it. Okay. What

46:01

a wonderful world you created. Okay.

46:10

All right, everybody. We're

46:25

interrupting again. I

46:27

promise you. Sorry. Let you get back

46:30

to the hijinks and adventure and I don't

46:32

know, emotional moments, whatever. None of

46:34

that matters right now because I'm talking. And

46:36

I'm talking about the Maxamum Fun Max Fun

46:38

Drive. It's the time of year, once a

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52:05

you all very very much and here's

52:07

here's the rest of the episode we'll be back right at the end

52:10

to talk to you one more time. It

52:19

is late. You all have had a

52:22

big day. You

52:24

can't remember the last time you

52:27

all felt this tired. It's easily

52:29

3 a.m. by the

52:31

time that the situation

52:34

here calms down, but

52:37

you are able to catch your breath

52:39

a little bit. And I'm good

52:41

at foraging. Yeah, so I guess

52:43

like what do you all do? What is what's

52:45

your priority here? If you don't get some rest

52:47

you all are going to start accruing exhaustion which

52:49

is not

52:52

something that you really want in D&D. I

52:55

make a muttner surprise which

52:58

is are you all setting up camp or

53:00

are you like what what are you like?

53:02

Are we far enough away where it feels

53:05

safe? I guess would be the question. I

53:08

mean if you all want to make

53:10

a survival check to try and like

53:12

determine that. Yeah I'll do that. Or

53:14

a perception check. Here we go. Uh,

53:20

13? Wait hold on I have

53:23

advantage. Yes. Yeah. Oh

53:28

okay well the 13 is still higher than my nat 1. The

53:34

other two want to make a perception or survival

53:36

check? Just

53:39

trying to find like a safe place to set

53:41

up camp for the night. Oh man I got

53:43

a four. How about a zero? I got a

53:45

zero. I've never seen that before Mac. Yep

53:48

minus one on wisdom and I rolled

53:50

a one. Yeah we have absolut- I

53:52

have a four. That and I have

53:54

absolutely no idea. No idea. Milo bursts

53:56

into play. Yeah he works. Fyla

54:01

walks over to a big mound and says, this looks good,

54:03

and it's like a fire ant hill. Here's

54:07

your campfire. With a 13,

54:10

you find a spot that looks

54:12

pretty good. You don't, it does

54:14

not be like, how

54:16

safe does Mutt usually like to be whenever

54:18

he is doing this? Right.

54:21

Covered on three sides with a roof, ideally, you

54:23

know what I mean? Right, I think that you

54:25

know you are in the middle of the Ungentlewood,

54:27

and that if, where creatures come

54:29

looking for you, it's not out of

54:32

the realm of possibilities that someone

54:34

could find you. But you find like a

54:38

cliff face here that you can kind of post up

54:40

in and at least have something

54:42

at your back just to

54:44

have sort of background. And I like gig

54:46

down to build the fire below the level,

54:49

so it's harder to see from further off.

54:52

Okay, I mean all of this is taking

54:54

you all more time, but you are able

54:56

to set up a camp here that you

54:58

feel pretty good about. What

55:02

do you all do? You all have a beat

55:04

here if you

55:08

want to tell me how you are sort of spending

55:10

your downtime here. I imagine a long rest will be

55:12

part of it. Well,

55:14

one, I forage to make Monday a surprise, which

55:16

is just whatever you could find when you put

55:18

it in a stew. Roll a

55:21

survival check for me for that. 12

55:25

plus 7, 19 plus 2, so 21 total. Jesus,

55:34

okay. I mean with the 21 total,

55:36

you find a whole foods that is

55:38

open in the middle of

55:40

the woods. It's

55:42

like Top Chef in there. Amazing.

55:46

You come back with lobster and

55:48

foie gras and... Surprise!

55:53

It is a surprise. Okay,

55:55

yeah, I mean that's a good, nummy meal that's going

55:58

to help you all out with the recovery. I

56:00

also string the new teeth on to The

56:03

string of teeth that I keep in my bag.

56:06

How many teeth do you have on there? for Gentlemen

56:09

never asked that a lady never tell yeah, okay

56:12

fine All

56:14

right Lady

56:16

Godwin, how are you doing cuz you

56:18

have yeah, I'm just I'm just sitting

56:20

and looking at the fire You

56:23

know, it's funny Yeah,

56:26

the ladies they tried to warn me Seeking

56:30

out vengeance when I obtained it

56:35

Love to be the satisfying experience that I

56:37

had been hoping for that

56:39

it would bring the closure That

56:43

I Seek

56:45

yeah And

56:48

they were wrong. Oh

56:50

cool. I feel

56:53

Half better. Oh,

56:55

okay. There were two it

56:58

was track to learn the wolf And

57:00

I set out to smite them

57:03

to bring them down In

57:06

their life. Uh-huh. And now I feel

57:09

like half of that is done and

57:11

I feel half better Than

57:13

I did before I'm extremely excited. Yeah.

57:15

Oh, I could have told you that

57:17

man mutters have been murdered a lot

57:19

and But we've also

57:21

then murdered back a lot. It's cool, man.

57:23

Yeah It's

57:27

what's nice is I like closing that chapter,

57:29

you know what I mean? Cuz it's like

57:31

well, that's done and then a big check

57:33

mark, you know, I mean I Hear

57:36

the wind what goes seeking

57:38

out? Vengeance dig two

57:40

graves. That's what they say Yeah,

57:46

exactly man, I I

57:49

dug two grapes So

57:51

what is for Dracula? And

57:54

maybe a smaller one for the wolf man's head,

57:56

you know what I mean over here funny. Yeah

58:00

You don't want to put them together. What if they like back

58:02

together, you know what I mean? That is

58:05

so well observed. Yeah, you gotta sometimes monsters

58:07

will do that when you're like cut them

58:09

apart and then they're like Back

58:11

together. You gotta be careful with that shit

58:13

But I find people talk about feeling better

58:16

like oh, it's gonna give you good feelings

58:18

Which maybe it does or make you not

58:20

worry about it anymore, but I just like

58:22

it being done, you know, just a finished

58:24

task That's one last thing on the list.

58:26

I'm excited to think about other things honestly

58:28

Yeah To

58:39

look into my business my business affairs my sort

58:42

of contact all of it it's been Absolutely

58:45

consumed perhaps the greatest tragedy

58:49

The greatest wrong done to me

58:51

by wolfman contrast his soul and

58:54

Dracula is all the time

58:56

I've had to waste coming to kill them.

58:58

Yeah laborious

59:01

absolutely You

59:04

are a hero you are

59:06

definitely although bimicry speaking Vengeance

59:10

is mine sayeth the Lord but you

59:13

do you he won't you do you

59:15

work lady G in mysterious way Yeah,

59:17

maybe lady G was the tool that

59:20

the Lord used to smite Absolutely vengeance

59:22

is mine and I'm letting you borrow

59:24

it for the day. I'm a big

59:26

believer in determinism. Yes. I agree. Yes

59:30

Why didn't you kill the wolfman and why

59:33

did you make the fair lady

59:35

Godwin to it? Well, I

59:37

sent lady Godwin to do the vengeance for

59:39

me. There you go. I'm extremely busy Because

59:42

I would say this Lord didn't want

59:46

Like didn't want lady Godwin to kill

59:49

the woman He could have done some

59:51

pre vengeance and killed the wolfman before

59:53

he exploded her body Could

59:55

God have made a wolfman so dead that I

59:57

even I couldn't kill him. There you go Hold

1:00:00

on one second, let me check. Oh, boy. Is this cool?

1:00:02

Is it? Okay!

1:00:07

Make a religion

1:00:10

check for me, please. Brother

1:00:13

Pylo. Aye, aye.

1:00:17

How does a... Well, that's a nine. Okay, with a nine, you just

1:00:19

hear, No! It

1:00:22

was a little... It had

1:00:24

a little trouble understanding, but

1:00:26

it doesn't sound like it's...

1:00:29

We have to just keep our hearts

1:00:31

open, and keep looking at the truth, where

1:00:33

for however this God of

1:00:35

yours, whatever he or she

1:00:38

or they might feel, I... Or

1:00:41

it! Oh!

1:00:45

Maybe God was the friends we made along the

1:00:47

way. Oh, isn't that funny?

1:00:50

Did you come up with that? Yes, it is. If you think

1:00:52

about it for a minute, your name is God... Yeah.

1:00:56

God wins! God wins! Okay,

1:00:58

man. Congratulations,

1:01:00

Judeo-Christian God. God's not

1:01:02

dead, but the wolf man is. Okay. So

1:01:13

you all get saved. We

1:01:16

rededicate our lives to the Lord Jesus

1:01:18

Christ. Okay. Now have

1:01:20

some lobster and foie gras, too. You...

1:01:24

Yeah, not a bad way for this, I think.

1:01:26

I think to people who are maybe offended by

1:01:28

this sort of Christian humor, if you

1:01:30

didn't want us to make so many jokes about Jesus,

1:01:32

you shouldn't have let us learn so much about it

1:01:35

when we were little kids. Yeah, that's true. You gave

1:01:37

us all the clues, Mr. Police. You told us all

1:01:39

of it. People

1:01:41

just handed that stuff out at Sunday school. You don't

1:01:43

think about the... I'm giving it

1:01:46

to some Goobers. Goobers. So

1:01:50

you all, I assume, settle in

1:01:52

for a long rest here. I

1:01:56

am going to one more time before I go to sleep.

1:02:00

Do... where is it here?

1:02:02

Beast sense? Yes, tragically

1:02:04

you did swap out your alarm spell, which of

1:02:06

all the times that that would have come in

1:02:08

handy, I would say this is probably one of

1:02:10

them. Uh...

1:02:14

And on Aggie, so she

1:02:16

can keep guard and we can mess with

1:02:19

it. Not only lasts an hour, but... Okay,

1:02:21

well, I'm not sure that that's gonna do a

1:02:24

ton, but... There's

1:02:26

gonna be things better than a kick in the throat. Okay,

1:02:29

um... you all go in for a long rest.

1:02:31

You are... before we go in for the long

1:02:33

rest... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

1:02:36

am going to, uh, do

1:02:38

two actions. Okay. Uh,

1:02:41

because I still have an infusion I

1:02:43

can create before

1:02:45

I have a long rest, because I'm allowed to

1:02:47

do two at a time. I'm

1:02:51

going to cast Enhanced Defense

1:02:55

on Lady Godwin's clothing. Okay.

1:03:00

Uh, which means the... Lady

1:03:02

Godwin gets a plus one bonus to

1:03:04

Armor Class while wearing that clothing. Okay,

1:03:07

cool. And the bonus increases

1:03:09

to plus two when I reach tenth level,

1:03:11

but I'm not there yet. Well, how long are we gonna sleep?

1:03:14

You sleep for six years. And

1:03:17

then I am also going

1:03:19

to, um, create

1:03:22

an experimental elixir. Okay.

1:03:25

You're just sort of checking off all of your slots

1:03:28

before you... Yeah, and then when we get up in

1:03:30

the morning, I'm gonna do them both again. Wow, okay,

1:03:32

cool. That's how long rest I get them. So,

1:03:34

experimental, this is the one where I roll a

1:03:36

d6, and whatever that number is, we add

1:03:39

that elixir to our... Okay, I do just

1:03:41

want to establish you can't make another infusion

1:03:44

in the morning. You have all three spoken

1:03:46

for at this point, so you would need

1:03:48

to, uh, remove some of them in order

1:03:50

to create more. Um,

1:03:53

I just realized too that I don't

1:03:55

need magic to do shit. I have,

1:03:57

like, stuff, um, so...

1:04:00

So I'm going to use some

1:04:02

rope and my

1:04:05

hunting trap and some

1:04:07

different equipment and shit to make some alarms

1:04:10

and some catches. Okay, why don't you work

1:04:12

on that with a survival check? You can

1:04:14

add your proficiency bonus to that and we'll

1:04:16

see. What did you get on your D6,

1:04:19

Dad? Okay,

1:04:23

a 5 and that is flight. The

1:04:30

drinker gains a flying speed of 10

1:04:32

feet for 10 minutes. Great,

1:04:34

I love that. Okay, so mark that in

1:04:37

your inventory. With a 19 on

1:04:39

that survival check, you

1:04:42

are able to set up a perimeter around your

1:04:44

sort of cliff face campsite here that

1:04:47

you feel pretty secure if something tries to come

1:04:49

through here, you will know about it. Okay,

1:04:54

if that is all of the business, you

1:04:58

all settle in for a long

1:05:00

rest. That is different for you

1:05:02

now, Brother Philo. In

1:05:06

your puppet form, you are

1:05:10

inactive and motionless when you rest,

1:05:13

and you appear inert, but

1:05:15

you are not unconscious when

1:05:18

you rest. This is the sentry's rest

1:05:21

feature that you have, and

1:05:23

you can see in here as normal. So

1:05:27

as you are sort of motionless and just

1:05:29

kind of like idly watching

1:05:31

this scene around you, keeping an

1:05:33

eye out, a

1:05:36

figure appears next to you by

1:05:39

the campfire, and

1:05:42

you see Abraham Van

1:05:44

Helsing sitting next to

1:05:46

you. And he says, I

1:05:49

must admit, you handled

1:05:51

yourself very

1:05:53

well back there. The

1:05:55

Wolfman has been a quarry of my

1:05:58

own for some time. And,

1:06:00

uh... You all... You

1:06:03

all handled him with ease, did

1:06:06

you see? I mean, it seems like the

1:06:08

big lady did most of the work. But,

1:06:11

um... Um, well, I mean,

1:06:14

yes, but the lady Godwin did

1:06:16

quite a bit. But I also

1:06:18

contributed with my acid and my,

1:06:20

you know, giving them a really

1:06:22

bad, you know... flu.

1:06:26

Um... So, you know, six of one happens

1:06:28

after the other. And that helped! That helped,

1:06:30

you know, polish off the

1:06:32

wear-tiger. Me too. Your understanding

1:06:35

of the physical

1:06:37

sciences are impressive,

1:06:40

Philo. I

1:06:42

may have misjudged you. I apologize

1:06:45

for my part

1:06:48

in making that encounter

1:06:50

more difficult than perhaps it

1:06:53

needed to be. I

1:06:55

know, I know. Brother Van Helsing,

1:06:57

I have absolutely no feelings.

1:07:00

I understand your concerns.

1:07:05

You would like to have this form back.

1:07:07

And I would love for that

1:07:09

to happen. I am giving you

1:07:11

my vow that if

1:07:14

it is at all possible for me to

1:07:16

vacate this little wooden body,

1:07:19

I will give it back to you

1:07:21

gladly. I,

1:07:23

um... I appreciate it. I

1:07:28

am not quite sure how this

1:07:30

works. This

1:07:32

process exceeds even my

1:07:34

considerable scientific expertise.

1:07:39

But I suppose our

1:07:41

interests are aligned. And

1:07:45

if you would like, perhaps I

1:07:47

could be more of assistance to

1:07:50

you than a hindrance in the

1:07:52

future. Um... I

1:07:55

may not be able to help

1:07:58

you with blade oil. or

1:08:00

fist, but my mind is

1:08:02

still sharp. I

1:08:05

can lend to you my expertise

1:08:07

where it is applicable. But

1:08:10

if I do this for you,

1:08:14

I want you to, someone

1:08:17

in your profession is well

1:08:20

acquainted with oaths, I assume?

1:08:25

Yes, I

1:08:28

am very well. If you vow

1:08:30

to me not to waver

1:08:32

from your goal to

1:08:36

slay Dracula for

1:08:38

once and for all, then I

1:08:40

will, I will

1:08:43

aid you however I can. Well,

1:08:49

to be honest with you,

1:08:54

that's not entirely my

1:08:56

goal. My

1:08:59

goal is somewhat

1:09:02

different from the others. I am here

1:09:04

to aid them and I am all

1:09:06

in favor of doing whatever I can,

1:09:08

but my purpose in

1:09:10

coming to Luminous is to find

1:09:13

a cure for the turbo card. And

1:09:16

if I have to sway off

1:09:18

that to kill Dracula, I

1:09:21

don't know if I can

1:09:23

make that commitment. I

1:09:28

would be happy to kill him if

1:09:31

before that I can find the cure for

1:09:33

the vampirism of turbo cardinal.

1:09:37

I just want to be upfront. I

1:09:39

have found with disembodied spirits,

1:09:41

it's best to be honest. You

1:09:44

can tell that you were not telling him what he

1:09:46

wanted to hear, but as you sort of talk about

1:09:50

having a kind of medical purpose

1:09:53

here, you do sway him

1:09:55

a bit. Why don't you make a persuasion

1:09:57

check with advantage here for me? He

1:10:00

was really looking for an oath from

1:10:03

you, but in lieu of that,

1:10:05

I think the reasoning that you have given him

1:10:07

is, I think he would find it quite strong.

1:10:13

Well, that's a nat 20. Okay. Well,

1:10:16

hell yeah. Wow. He

1:10:18

says, perhaps

1:10:20

I let my own search

1:10:23

for vengeance clout

1:10:26

my judgment. You know, they

1:10:28

say that if you go

1:10:30

out looking for revenge, you

1:10:33

should dig two graves.

1:10:36

I have never heard that before. Yes.

1:10:39

Is that a new thing? Is that something?

1:10:41

I just came up with it. Did

1:10:43

you really depend on helping? Right

1:10:45

after though. That is remarkable.

1:10:48

Okay. In times

1:10:51

of need, I

1:10:54

shout out to you that I will help you

1:10:56

however I can. And

1:11:01

he looks down at the fire

1:11:03

and in a flicker of firelight, he vanishes.

1:11:07

You are going to inherit the

1:11:09

lucky trait, Brother Phylo.

1:11:12

When rolling a one on an attack or a

1:11:14

check or a saving throw, you reroll the dice

1:11:16

and take the new result. And

1:11:20

that will be moments

1:11:22

in which Abraham Van

1:11:25

Helsing famed vampire hunter

1:11:27

and physician will

1:11:30

come to your aid. Wonderful.

1:11:33

I love it. Make

1:11:36

a perception check. Wow.

1:11:38

That's an 18. You hear

1:11:41

it. You

1:11:43

hear the sounds of branches

1:11:45

snapping and dry leaves crunching

1:11:49

before you see the sort

1:11:53

of tripwire alarm system

1:11:55

that Mutt set

1:11:57

up begins to rattle.

1:12:00

and shake and I will also say

1:12:02

that this awakens you Mutt and Lady

1:12:06

Godwin you can give me a perception

1:12:08

check if you'd like to see if it also

1:12:13

Got a two good night. You are fucking

1:12:15

sleepy The

1:12:21

tripwire alarm goes off, but

1:12:23

you don't see what has set it

1:12:26

off. Oh, no a visible

1:12:29

man Yeah,

1:12:32

are you are you up? Are you awake? Oh fuck? Yeah,

1:12:34

I'm up and away. Okay I'm

1:12:37

one feet away from firing wildly into the

1:12:39

darkness. I Mean

1:12:42

you Don't

1:12:45

hear anything except for

1:12:47

the rattling of your of

1:12:49

your tripwire system here and

1:12:51

more sort of crunching of leaves But

1:12:54

you certainly don't see anything sort of entangled in

1:12:56

your trap. Okay, I'm looking for Footprints

1:12:59

disturbed branches anything I can see just

1:13:01

scanning where the sounds coming from. I'm

1:13:03

trying to pinpoint this bastard sure give

1:13:06

me a Give

1:13:08

me a perception check As

1:13:12

a nap 20 holy You

1:13:17

see I mean

1:13:19

a human shaped outline in

1:13:22

the tripwires you see So

1:13:25

clearly where the invisible man is some of

1:13:27

the some of the cans that you were

1:13:29

using Had

1:13:31

some you know fluid that left over inside

1:13:33

of them. They Splatter

1:13:36

and you tackle it. You

1:13:38

tackle him. Yes Okay,

1:13:40

I'm making a tackle for me Certainly

1:13:47

I must have advantage no You

1:13:51

Dive forward and at the

1:13:54

last second they disentangle from

1:13:56

the tripwires and all

1:13:59

you You grab forward and

1:14:01

you can feel yourself grabbing

1:14:04

onto a wrist. But

1:14:06

you are just a hair too slow

1:14:09

and they pull away as you get

1:14:11

wrapped up in your own tripwire trap.

1:14:15

You see footsteps. When

1:14:17

I touch that wrist, when I touch that

1:14:19

wrist, I cast Hunter's

1:14:22

Tense. Oh. Is

1:14:25

that an action or a bonus action? That is

1:14:27

a bonus action. Okay.

1:14:30

All right. I will allow it. You

1:14:34

mark him. But

1:14:36

you are unable to keep with

1:14:39

him. He goes sprinting off into the

1:14:41

woods as you are

1:14:43

entangled. It tells

1:14:45

me if it

1:14:50

has any damage immunity, resistance

1:14:52

or vulnerabilities and what

1:14:54

those are. And

1:14:56

as long

1:14:58

as it is not hidden from divination

1:15:01

magic. I mean, I think being

1:15:03

invisible might do that,

1:15:05

but I will check that out later. So

1:15:09

we can resolve that next time. The

1:15:14

Invisible Man gets away. But

1:15:18

as you sort of untangle yourself from the trap, you

1:15:22

look down in your hand and you

1:15:24

realize you have ripped something off

1:15:27

of their arm as you grab them.

1:15:30

You see a small bracelet

1:15:35

simply made with

1:15:38

string and some beads

1:15:40

on it. It is a

1:15:42

friendship bracelet. And

1:15:45

the beads have

1:15:47

letters and you are able

1:15:49

to read them. By

1:15:53

the flickering firelight, you

1:15:55

read the friendship bracelet. It says.

1:16:00

Juba outro. Juba

1:16:30

outro. Juba

1:17:00

outro. Juba

1:17:30

outro. your

1:18:00

wishes live, which you can watch over

1:18:02

the macro family YouTube channel. And I

1:18:04

can't stress enough. It's not live now

1:18:07

because we are. I did. Right. I did.

1:18:10

I do want to say when I was watching

1:18:12

that stream, I was making myself a little salad,

1:18:15

I'm getting choked up and I

1:18:17

couldn't open up my bottle of ranch dressing. Ooh. And

1:18:19

so I asked fungalore in the chat

1:18:21

to help me open my bottle of ranch dressing.

1:18:23

10 seconds later, it was open. That was true.

1:18:25

So it's real folks. Yeah, this

1:18:28

is real. He doesn't grant. Okay. He doesn't

1:18:30

grant the wishes. He just hears them. 6,000

1:18:33

new and upgrading members. And we hit that. We

1:18:35

put out a bonus star monster factory star field

1:18:38

that had Scott's light year in it. Got to

1:18:40

find out about Scott's light year. We

1:18:42

hit 9,000 this weekend and we,

1:18:44

we put up the WikiHow article

1:18:46

that we wrote and illustrated about

1:18:49

how to Travis illustrated. I do not want

1:18:51

any credit for that. Please. No, no, I

1:18:53

don't. I wouldn't share it if you

1:18:55

paid me. But that, that article about

1:18:57

how to avoid talking to people you know in public.

1:19:00

You can check that out now on the

1:19:02

Macroy family website. And we are getting

1:19:04

very close to 12,000 and a 12,000 new and upgrading members. We're

1:19:08

going to play the first level of Celeste

1:19:10

with me, Justin and Griffin, each controlling one

1:19:14

aspect of the game. So usually move,

1:19:16

jump action. We each take one of those.

1:19:19

As soon as like, when we hear that, we're hoping

1:19:21

to be able to do that stream on Thursday, if

1:19:24

we hit it. We'll see. Yeah. Check

1:19:26

the Macroy family Instagram to find out. And if

1:19:28

we hit 15,000 new and

1:19:31

upgrading members, then me and Griffin will

1:19:33

watch Avatar for the first time with

1:19:35

Justin and we'll record

1:19:37

our real time

1:19:39

reactions and questions and

1:19:42

we're talking the blue Navi version. Yeah.

1:19:44

The blue Navi version on Airbender. No,

1:19:46

no, no. And you'll be able to

1:19:48

listen to that as a commentary track

1:19:50

with me and Griffin asking Justin what

1:19:52

in the world is going on. Um,

1:19:55

one last thing on Friday at 1PM Eastern

1:19:57

time, we'll be hosting a pizza party live

1:19:59

stream on our. YouTube channel to celebrate the

1:20:01

drive and just kind of hang out all

1:20:03

of those things you can find out about

1:20:05

all of them at the McElroy dot family

1:20:08

or follow McElroy family on Instagram It's all

1:20:10

just a bunch of ways for us to

1:20:12

say thank you for all the support not

1:20:14

just this year But every year since

1:20:17

we started doing the max fund drive and

1:20:19

we really do appreciate you all very very

1:20:21

much You've made it possible for us to

1:20:23

hang together and me not have to get up

1:20:25

at 3 30 in the morning I was gonna

1:20:27

say because because of y'all because of the max fund drive

1:20:29

There's a direct correlation between the support we've gotten in the

1:20:31

max fund drive and the fact that our dad doesn't have

1:20:33

to wake up at 3

1:20:35

30 to drive up Radio Mountain country music TCR

1:20:38

anymore. So thank you all so much for that

1:20:41

Maximum fun.org/join is the link and

1:20:44

Just a couple days left. So if you've been thinking about

1:20:46

it if you've thought about it at all while we've been

1:20:48

doing these breaks Over the past couple

1:20:50

weeks now is your chance. Thank you

1:20:52

also my dance and the day stream. Yes