Episode Transcript
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get your podcasts.
0:47
Welcome to In Her Shoes. I'm Lindsay Peoples,
0:50
and I'm editor-in-chief of The Cut. On
0:52
this show, I get to talk to people that we love
0:54
and admire or some that we just find interesting.
0:57
We'll explore how they found their path and
0:59
what maybe have gotten in their way and how they
1:02
brought others along now that they've arrived.
1:09
Asko Okotska is the comedian
1:11
whose videos you've probably shared with many of your
1:13
friends. She has this adorable
1:15
innocence and instant relatability that
1:18
makes her so charming and convincing on stage.
1:21
She's never afraid to make fun of herself and put her
1:23
truth out there, making viewers not only
1:25
laugh but feel a lot less alone. She's
1:28
made some time during her ongoing tour to chat
1:30
about how she got into comedy, Asian-American
1:33
representation in media, and what it's like going
1:35
viral.
1:37
Thank you again for doing this. Thank
1:39
you for having me.
1:41
Okay, so the first question I always
1:43
ask my guests is about their literal shoes
1:45
since this podcast is called In Her Shoes. So
1:48
tell me about what shoes you have on because
1:50
you're not at home, so you do have shoes on. You're
1:53
right. You are insightful.
1:56
I have CVs on. S-E-A-V-E-E-S.
1:59
They gifted these bright yellow.
2:02
Oh, they're like a slip in clog. Yeah,
2:04
slip in clog. I think it's waterproof, too.
2:07
They do look
2:08
waterproof. They look very cool, though. Yeah,
2:11
I'm really into it. I was like free and
2:14
bright colors. That's that's all
2:16
I need. And so, yeah, so
2:18
that's what I'm wearing.
2:19
I love that. I mean,
2:22
I know you have a really unique aesthetic
2:24
and obviously like a lot of opinions about
2:26
style that's so on point with your own
2:29
brand. Very playful, lots
2:31
of color and build prints. How
2:33
did you develop, you know, a sense of style
2:36
and what kind of gave you the courage
2:38
or, you know, the really desire to like dress
2:40
in a way that really is indicative
2:42
of who you really are? Yeah,
2:44
because it does take a moment, you know,
2:46
not for everyone. Some people are like, oh, I've known
2:49
my aesthetic. I've known myself and I've
2:51
been proud of it since I was young, which
2:53
is awesome. I'm always like
2:55
how I'm jealous of those people. Yeah, I'm
2:57
like good for you. Like I am intimidated.
3:00
You are 12 years old and
3:03
so confident. But
3:06
yeah, it's it was truly about like
3:09
embracing my childlike self.
3:12
You know, as a kid, what were the things
3:14
that I was drawn to? Bright colors
3:16
and patterns. And it's
3:20
not stuff I could always wear because, you know,
3:22
we couldn't afford just
3:24
any clothes, you know, when I was a kid.
3:26
So it was about like becoming
3:28
an adult and finally wearing the things I've always wanted
3:30
to as a kid.
3:31
Yeah, so that's sort of how I
3:34
came to my aesthetic. I
3:36
love that. You talked a lot
3:38
about your childhood and growing
3:41
up, specifically how your school teacher
3:43
gave you the name Stacy because she felt
3:45
like your name was too hard to pronounce. Were
3:48
you the kind of kid that actually corrected people?
3:50
Did you feel too shy or intimidated to do
3:52
that? What what was that like for you?
3:54
Yeah, I just wanted to be liked.
3:57
So no, I didn't do. Yeah.
4:00
Yeah. Yeah. So I really went with the flow
4:03
of things. And then years later,
4:05
I would undo it in therapy. So,
4:09
yeah, I. There a moment when you actually
4:12
decided like, you know what? I'm going
4:13
to correct people when they mispronounce my name.
4:16
Gosh, you know, I still as
4:19
a performer, as a standup comedian,
4:23
a woman and you
4:25
know, there weren't a ton of Asian-American
4:27
female standup still, you
4:29
know,
4:31
you kind of have to work that
4:33
line of like, don't upset
4:36
people. You're an entertainer. You
4:38
know, don't upset people too much. So my husband
4:41
actually steps in now for me
4:43
and isn't afraid to be the person that delivers
4:46
that kind of news. So he'll go up to
4:48
the host or, you know, he'll
4:50
he'll correct people
4:52
if they're saying my name weird or different.
4:55
Yeah. So he does that
4:57
dirty work for me so that I don't have to, which is
5:00
so, so great. Yeah, that's very
5:02
sweet.
5:03
Yeah. You've also talked about
5:05
Margaret Cho being an influence for
5:07
you growing up. We've had
5:09
her on the show and talked
5:11
about how difficult it was for her coming
5:13
up in the comedy world as an Asian-American
5:15
woman. What was it specifically about
5:17
her and her comedy that really captured
5:20
you?
5:21
Yeah, I mean, she's a fellow weirdo. She's
5:23
like a true weirdo like me. And
5:26
so I loved that she was authentically
5:29
her. But also was
5:32
talking about some things like about
5:34
her family that I could also relate to.
5:36
And yeah, yeah, I loved the way she
5:40
built worlds with her comedy.
5:43
It wouldn't just be like a joke she's telling.
5:45
Then she goes, OK, can
5:47
you imagine then if like a sword came out
5:49
of the back of me and just I started
5:52
slaying everyone around? You know what I mean? It was like
5:54
she would create these like action films
5:57
sometimes out of just, you know, the flight
5:59
attendant. asking her if
6:01
she wants Asian chicken salad. You
6:03
know, I just love that. And
6:05
so yeah, that's what drew
6:08
me to her.
6:09
Yeah, and her confidence. What would
6:11
you say your experience was
6:13
like when you first started doing
6:15
standup and hiring people like her? Did
6:18
you find a lot
6:19
of similarities or was it difficult? And
6:21
what was that experience like for you? It's
6:24
always scary to put yourself out there.
6:27
And especially if you
6:29
don't know if the world would
6:32
accept it,
6:33
you know, and the industry. Because
6:35
when you say a world, it's like, the world
6:37
is more down to accept you more
6:40
than the industry because there's only
6:42
like 10
6:42
deciders, right? In
6:45
the industry. I mean, there's more than that, but
6:47
you know what I mean? It's a small percentage. Yeah,
6:49
it's a small percentage of what really like the
6:51
world looks like and is actually like.
6:54
So yeah, it
6:56
is scary. I didn't finding that balance, you
6:58
know, of what the people
7:00
actually like
7:02
versus what the smaller percentage
7:04
of people like and finding
7:07
enough confidence in yourself to be like, no,
7:09
people do want to hear
7:12
what I have to say, you know? Yeah.
7:15
That's why I think it took 13 years for me to
7:17
really feel like, ah, I'm really
7:19
in my shoes, in my, of
7:22
CVs, these bright yellows. And
7:25
you were also the second Asian
7:28
woman after
7:28
Margaret to have an HBO comedy
7:31
special. Did you, I'm sure you knew
7:33
that going into it, or did you know and what, what
7:35
did that feel like in the moment? I
7:38
had an inkling because I, you know, have
7:40
kept up with standup and standup specials.
7:44
So I had to ask
7:46
the HBO execs, is that true?
7:50
Because I sort of, I did
7:52
the research and I'm friends with Margaret.
7:55
And I was like, is it true? I'm the second
7:57
one after 23 years.
7:59
And they were like, oh, yeah,
8:02
it is a little, you know, you don't
8:04
want to admit that, you know, but they were like,
8:06
they were like, yeah, actually you are.
8:10
And it wasn't like,
8:12
surprising, because I'm used
8:14
to how
8:14
things go in the industry.
8:17
It just lit a bigger fire in
8:19
me to really, really
8:22
crush it.
8:25
Talk me through at which point,
8:27
you know, in your career, did you feel like
8:29
you're really going for this
8:31
seriously and passionately? Because
8:34
I'm sure doing stand up, there's a lot of waves
8:36
of different emotions.
8:37
But at what point in your career did you feel like,
8:40
okay, like it's this, this or bust,
8:42
like I'm only doing this. So
8:44
like right after art school, which
8:46
is 2015,
8:49
you know, art school, art school
8:51
was a way of me trying to be like,
8:53
maybe I'll have a backup
8:55
option, you know, because I still didn't
8:58
like super believe in myself with stand up comedy.
9:00
And if people would accept me, I was
9:03
still doing it. But I was like, oh, I should
9:05
have other options, which is silly, because
9:07
art school as a second option
9:09
is not safer. You know, yeah, like,
9:12
oh, I'll also learn film, you know,
9:15
not safer at all. So
9:17
after art school, I was like, oh, I didn't learn
9:19
any tangible skills. You know, art school
9:21
is wild, right? There's people
9:23
running around naked and rolling around
9:25
on the ground. And that's their thesis, you know,
9:28
project, you know, that's how they graduate
9:31
or you know what I mean? And I was
9:33
like, oh my gosh, I feel like
9:37
why not wholeheartedly
9:39
do stand up comedy? Because
9:42
I just spent three years, you know,
9:44
making films about trees. You
9:49
know what I mean? Where the trees. Yeah.
9:52
Yeah. Where the trees talk because I did
9:54
a voiceover over it. So yeah,
9:58
that's what I wholeheartedly.
9:59
was like, I have nothing to lose. I love
10:02
it so much. Yeah. Yeah. I
10:05
hear that. It does feel
10:07
like we're in a moment of a lot
10:09
of industries having to, you know, reconcile
10:11
with being a lot more inclusive and
10:14
diverse and equitable. Do
10:16
you feel like in terms of Asian-American
10:19
representation in media and comedy
10:21
that things have gotten better or
10:22
does it feel fleeting still? I
10:25
think it has, you know, the more you
10:28
see of a community it's
10:30
just always better in whatever
10:32
way, even if it's like the
10:35
trashy people that you meet over a
10:37
community or whatever, the reality
10:40
TV version of us where
10:42
we're being our authentic self and maybe
10:44
not great ways to like
10:47
movies about us or podcasts
10:49
or TV shows. I think the more there
10:51
is, is great because it just normalizes that,
10:55
you know, a community is a part of the society.
10:59
I think that,
11:01
you know, as long as like the industry
11:03
keeps doing the research and is out
11:05
there really looking, I think there's
11:08
more hope for even more representation
11:10
because, you know, communities aren't
11:13
all that way. We're not all crazy
11:15
and rich. Yeah.
11:17
Yeah. You know, there were all these shows
11:19
about Asians being rich suddenly coming
11:22
out, like Bling Empire and Crazy Rich Asians
11:24
as the movie. And I was like,
11:26
that's cool. That's one way in, but like
11:28
show the poor people too now. You know?
11:31
Exactly. And to do that, you just have to do the research
11:33
and not be lazy and just keep hiring
11:35
the same 10 people.
11:37
So yeah, it's, I think, but it's still getting
11:40
there. It's getting there. Yeah. For
11:42
sure. We have to talk about your grandmother because you
11:44
have the cutest relationship with her and
11:48
she's famous for sure. Does she know that
11:50
she's famous?
11:52
She knows she's known
11:55
to an extent because like numbers
11:58
are so hard for an older person.
11:59
understand. It's like, oh, okay,
12:02
sure. Our video was seen 20 million
12:05
times or whatever. She's like, what does that even
12:08
mean? And I'm like, girl, I don't really know
12:10
either because I don't
12:12
know how many zeros 20 million
12:14
even has. I've never seen a number
12:17
like that in front of me. You know, I'd
12:19
have to see it in stashes of cash or
12:21
something for me to maybe understand, but still
12:23
I don't because I'm like, what can that buy?
12:26
Yeah, I have no idea.
12:28
We grew up so poor. And so,
12:31
you know, she gets it. She gets
12:32
recognized in the streets, you know, and
12:35
she came to the taping of my HBO special
12:37
in New York, where she saw
12:39
a whole production, a whole crew,
12:41
the director, the audiences.
12:44
There were two shows I did, you know,
12:46
she saw
12:47
all these people working for me. And so
12:50
she does get it.
12:52
She
12:53
does get it. Yeah, she's
12:56
still on EBT and still gets paid
12:58
the SSI, like from
13:00
the government every month of not that much money.
13:03
So she's like, sure, sure. I'm
13:05
famous. But like,
13:07
when is it going to take care of me? Yeah,
13:09
I treat her to stuff and I'm, you
13:12
know, I'm helping out
13:14
in all the glamour. There's
13:16
we're still grounded in reality. And that's okay.
13:18
That's good as I think a comedic
13:21
comedic family, you know. Yeah.
13:49
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15:12
So what did she think about you going
15:15
into
15:15
comedy and what did she think about the special? The
15:17
special, she was like, oh my gosh,
15:19
this is amazing. All the years of work that
15:21
I've put into it, she knows.
15:24
And so it was really cool. It was like a culminating
15:26
moment. And I brought her on stage with me at
15:28
the end, you know, and it was
15:31
cool. It felt like, yes,
15:33
like,
15:34
finally, like a homecoming. Me
15:37
doing stand-up comedy, because she didn't really
15:39
even know what it was, it's not like
15:41
a huge thing in Taiwan where she's from.
15:44
So she was like, I don't know. It's
15:47
kind of like when someone says they're a consultant, I
15:49
bet, is how she felt. She
15:51
was like, that's such a general,
15:53
general
15:55
thing that you're going into, just
15:58
comedy, you know? And
16:00
that's how I feel when someone tells me they're a consultant.
16:02
I'm like, what? What's that? Yeah, that could be literally
16:04
a million things. You give advice generally.
16:08
I could be insurance. I mean, that could be anything. Yes.
16:11
Yes. I hear you. We
16:13
also have to talk about the drop challenge that you created
16:16
a little while back. The grandma was also featured
16:18
in what was that like to have something
16:20
go, you know, viral on the Internet
16:23
and, you know, what is it like after that? Did
16:26
you feel pressure to keep up with engagement?
16:28
Like you feel like you had to post more. What was
16:30
going through your head at the moment?
16:32
Yeah, I mean, I was like
16:34
this silly thing that we just did for
16:37
fun in two minutes. It's
16:40
just us having fun. That's what all our videos
16:42
are. And which is great because
16:45
that's why I got into comedy is so that other
16:47
people can feel seen and
16:50
also have fun. So
16:52
it was cool when people started recreating it
16:54
because I was like, yes, you do it. You you
16:56
do you. It's the people's
16:58
video now. It's the people's
17:00
challenge now because it's not like you get
17:03
paid for starting a viral video or
17:05
anything. It's giving
17:07
it to the people so that they can have fun with
17:09
it. And so it was it was cool. I was like, yeah,
17:12
but it was wild to be like
17:14
this silly thing. You
17:16
know, Serena Williams, the
17:19
cast of Hamilton, cast of S&L, you know. I
17:22
mean, the ultimate. Have you ever met
17:24
Beyonce or anyone has front? Anyone
17:27
has her team ever reached out?
17:31
No, no. Beyonce is
17:34
so can live in her own world. Like,
17:37
I don't think she's on her own, literally
17:39
her own planet,
17:40
like her own air. Yeah, she doesn't
17:42
run her own Instagram. Like,
17:45
she doesn't need to look at social media ever, you
17:47
know. And so strangely, yeah.
17:50
Strangely, yeah. But but I did
17:53
accidentally put the song back into the charts.
17:56
So
17:57
it was like back
17:59
on the billboards. because of the challenge.
18:04
Yeah, I got her
18:06
paid is what I'm saying. I'm
18:10
sure she was happy. I'm sure. And
18:13
similar to the drop
18:14
challenge, though, you're always, you know,
18:16
doing something fun, grooving
18:18
with your grandmother. And
18:20
you talk a lot about being a shy kid.
18:22
But did you always like to dance or
18:24
did you always know how to dance?
18:27
My grandma put me in dance
18:30
classes when I was a kid, but
18:32
it was like ballet and stuff
18:34
like that, like modern or whatever, just
18:38
to try to make sure I had friends.
18:41
And yeah,
18:42
and then in high school, I was
18:44
on the cheerleading squad. So
18:48
yeah, there was always dance in my life and
18:52
physically speaking
18:55
and I express myself
18:57
physically a lot because, you
18:59
know, I didn't always know the language of the
19:01
country that I was living in. So
19:04
like I learned English by watching Scooby
19:06
Doo. And you could probably tell
19:09
when you watch my stand up like, oh, the
19:11
way she who who the way she
19:13
talks with. Oh, my God. Like, you know, always
19:16
sounding like I'm about to cry a little bit.
19:19
Um,
19:20
so dance is a big part of my
19:22
life
19:23
because it is using my body to
19:25
sort of like connect with people. And
19:28
yeah, and it translates into my stand
19:30
up comedy, too, I think. Was
19:33
there a moment or a certain,
19:36
you know, time period in your career
19:38
you felt like people actually started to get you,
19:41
whether you were, you know, emulating a character
19:44
or telling a story, but the people finally
19:46
start to get you as as a comedian?
19:49
Yeah, that's a cool
19:51
question. I'm good at
19:53
improv and improvising
19:55
and making a situation
19:58
that could seem really scary.
19:59
hard and turning it funny,
20:02
you know, and the
20:04
way that
20:05
I was able to showcase that was, you
20:08
know, in 2019,
20:09
I did a stand up set during a 7.1
20:12
magnitude earthquake. And
20:15
I, I
20:16
happened to get video of it.
20:18
So I posted it and that also went
20:20
viral. But I think that's when people
20:22
started understanding, oh my goodness, okay,
20:24
this comedian can really find
20:26
the light in wild situations,
20:29
you know? Yeah.
20:31
And because I was able to make sure the
20:33
audience was okay, but also continue
20:35
making them laugh through it. Yeah. That
20:37
is the true essence of me. I thrive in chaos
20:40
because I grew up in it.
20:44
Since you've been doing this for a while, do
20:47
you feel like there's any differences between,
20:49
you know, making things for the internet versus
20:51
like when you actually go to start writing
20:54
material for stand up?
20:56
Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah. Sometimes
20:59
a longer bit might
21:01
be birthed out of something
21:03
I tweeted online or
21:06
like an idea I
21:08
talked to my audience about on Instagram
21:10
or something, then I'll polish
21:12
it later on by, you know, adding
21:15
the punch lines and building
21:17
the world around it more four stage. Yeah.
21:19
So they do go hand in hand sometimes,
21:23
but yeah, the way you deliver
21:25
jokes online sometimes is different
21:28
than in person because,
21:29
you know, you
21:32
have to think, oh, Instagram, TikTok audiences,
21:34
they, they have like a shorter attention span, for
21:36
example, it's gotta be a minute long,
21:38
you know,
21:39
you gotta enter with something that'll hook them,
21:41
you know, so yeah. Now
21:45
I'm curious, since you brought up this earthquake, besides
21:47
that, what's the wildest thing that's ever happened
21:49
during a set? It's
21:52
hard to beat a 7.1 magnitude
21:54
earthquake. I've
21:56
had all kinds of people. I've had people
21:59
from during same.
21:59
Patrick's Day, really, really drunk, you
22:02
know, I've had I mean,
22:04
mostly it's just drunk people. Thankfully,
22:07
no one's really gotten hurt during a comedy
22:09
show that I
22:11
was performing on. Or, you
22:14
know, during my tour. So yeah, probably
22:17
just probably the earthquake topset.
22:19
I mean, that's a very
22:20
big thing. So yeah.
22:23
Yeah, I jinxed it. Next
22:25
time it's going to be a different natural disaster.
22:31
For you and so many other comedians,
22:33
though, I think it feels like a common theme that, you
22:35
know, there's a form of escapism
22:38
that, you know, comes through in comedy, a lot
22:40
of
22:40
the hardships, whether
22:42
obviously, you know, you handling that amazingly
22:44
with the earthquake during set or just,
22:46
you know, life happenings and
22:49
things that occur, and
22:51
turning that into some kind
22:53
of, you know, comedic gold. Does
22:56
a lot of your material still come from that
22:58
place? Or where are you finding new material
23:00
from?
23:01
Yeah, for sure. Like, I feel
23:04
most in, in tune
23:06
with comedy when I'm sad,
23:08
unfortunately. So
23:11
when a ton of stuff is going on,
23:13
like caretaking for my grandma
23:16
the other night, I just took her to the emergency
23:18
room, or I'm trying to get my husband on
23:20
my health insurance. But in
23:23
trying to prove that we're married, getting
23:26
a copy of our marriage certificate, for example,
23:28
we found out that me
23:30
and my husband, because we've been married seven
23:32
years.
23:33
But in trying to do this, for example,
23:36
we found out we're actually not married.
23:39
Oh, wow. Because which
23:41
is so us because we forgot to turn
23:44
in our marriage certificate after
23:46
our wedding. So stuff
23:48
like that, you know, just inherently
23:51
becomes comedy, and I'm able
23:53
to write
23:53
about, but, you know, all these
23:56
things are stressful to be going through, like
23:58
my mom's, my mom's Psychosis
24:00
is off the charts right now. She has
24:02
schizophrenia. But in
24:05
dealing with all the things, like I said, I thrive
24:07
in chaos. I always want to make sure
24:09
everyone's okay. And a big way
24:11
I do that is finding the funnies,
24:14
even during all the
24:16
wild stuff. And so it's
24:19
where a lot of my material comes from,
24:21
is I think empathy for humans
24:24
and trying to take a moment in
24:26
every chaotic or sad situation
24:29
to be like, wait,
24:30
but that is pretty funny. That
24:33
we haven't been married this whole time. This
24:36
whole time we've just been boyfriend and girlfriend. You
24:39
know, our
24:41
sex got hotter for no reason, now
24:44
that we're boyfriend and girlfriend again, things
24:46
like that.
24:48
I love that. So
24:50
tell me what's coming up next for you
24:52
both, professionally
24:54
and just in your own life.
24:56
Yes. So yeah, my new hour
24:59
of stand up I'm touring right
25:01
now. And
25:04
then I'll be doing theater tours in the fall
25:06
with it too. And
25:09
I'm developing a show right now
25:11
with FX. Amazing. Yeah.
25:14
And so I, yeah, you
25:16
know, just
25:17
more ways of putting my
25:18
story out there so that
25:20
hopefully people can also
25:23
feel seen. Yeah. Yeah.
25:25
Thank you so much for doing this. That was so much fun. Thank
25:28
you for having me.
25:32
In Her Shoes is hosted by me, Lindsay Pupils.
25:35
Our lead producer is Taka Zen. Our
25:37
engineer is Brandy McFarland. I'm
25:40
Lindsay Pupils and thank you so much for listening.
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