I wish I would have known this 1 year ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago.

We get a little crazy in this episode, but I think the info is important so I'm okay going out on a limb a little bit.

Go to www.rhinojulie.com and join my email list to get the free gift I talk about in this episode.

 I am not sure that I would have heard this before the last couple years. So I'm kind of struggling with sharing this on my YouTube channel and my podcast, because I'm just kind of thinking, like, I don't think past Julie, would've been in a position to hear this, but here's what made me decide to share.

because maybe if you listen to this and you're like, I don't know what this chick is talking about. Like, I am thi this does not make any sense, but you hear it through, it might bounce around in your brain. And then one day  1, 10, 20 years from now. You'll be like, I get it. Like this happened to me. I understand.

Or maybe the reason that I feel compelled to share it is because everyone's just going to. Get it. And everyone's gonna have their own examples of how this is true in their life. And every single one of you is just gonna be like, yeah, Julie, I already knew that and you are late to the party. Okay. However, this shakes down, I'm telling you what we're about to talk about is the best way to lose the weight.

Best way to get the guy. . If that's what you're trying to do best way to build the business best way. To just become happy in our lives. It's the absolute best way. And like I said, you've probably heard it before, but I'm gonna give you some crazy examples of this in my own life. And here's what the big brutal secret is that without love and acceptance now, as we are the weight loss journey, the business journey.

The dating journey. They are all just never ending cycles of not good enough. And there's just this giant chasm, this giant huge chasm between who we are and who we want to be, who we think we should be. And because of that, energetically, we're just not in the place to receive. All of these amazing things and to have the breakthrough.

So basically we need to give ourselves permission to be us exactly as we are right now, people always used to tell me, Julie, you need to love yourself. Or they were talking about loving themselves. And I would be like loving myself. They, the way, the way that my community growing up would talk about it is, you know, it's God first it's everyone else and yourself less.

Julie doesn't matter. Like Julie doesn't fit into the equation. Julie will be okay. Julie can suffer. Like, Julie's fine. Like, that was always how it was. And I think that's, most of the world believes that. And because of that, there's a lot of charitable things done and, and, and, you know, there's other ways, like, I just believe in love.

but if we don't love ourselves, I just remember me really brutally real with you guys. I remember that because I didn't love myself. I was nice to other people, but I was judgemental. I didn't have just this love. I had a care for the world. I deeply cared when people were suffering, when they were wounded, when, when they needed help, I wanted to help them.

But the difference between rhino now and Julie, then , I call myself rhino, is that I feel this love for the world. Most of the time, still human I'll be standing in line at the grocery store. And I'll just look at the person in front of me and I'll be like, oh look, you know, they like how they did their hair, how cute, like just, you know, having love towards them.

And it's because I love myself and. With weight loss. If we don't give ourselves permission to be exactly how we are right now, a hundred percent permission. And then from that space, we choose to be like making choices that, that we want to choose. Like we, you know, we we're in this space of being fully us and fully in love with us.

And then we say what feels good to us? And then all of a sudden, instead of. Making these decisions that are like binging and things like that. All of a sudden we're just supporting our bodies and we don't care about food as much. And we focus on how we want to feel, but it's bigger than that. It's bigger than that.

Have you ever really wanted something really bad? Maybe you wanted kids really bad and you couldn't have them. And then once you just kind of gave up and you're like, you know, Life is fine. Like, I love my significant other. We're fine. And then all of a sudden you got pregnant or you're trying so hard to lose weight.

This was me like in the beginning, when I first started my business, my, uh, my gyms, I was 65 pounds heavier and doctors had told me it'd be really, really hard for me to lose weight. And I was like, oh, this is tough. Right. And I just remember the first four months I didn't lose any weight. And I was like,  the doctors told me that.

And so instead of working out so hard to lose weight, all of a sudden I decided that I just, I kinda liked what we were doing. It felt good to push myself. It felt good to challenge myself. Like I don't like exercising, never did like exercising, but there was something about the challenge that made me feel so good after that, I was like, I'm gonna keep doing.

Just because I, I like the challenge. And then all of a sudden the weight, the weight came off. It's like, what are you kidding? Me? And Carl Rogers, he says, the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change crazy. Right? Absolutely crazy. It's the same with dating. So with dating before when I was dating, I had all these things.

That I wanted to fix and change about myself and all these ways that I didn't feel like I fit into society or fit into the mold of people's perfect girlfriends. I remember one time I dated this guy and he wanted me to wear heels more often and I broke up with him because even back then, I knew that that was just strange.

Like, and I mean, well, he needed to go find a girl that wore heels all the time. It wasn't strange. He can, he can desire whatever he wants.  but it's like, for me, I'm not gonna go fit into that mold. I'm just not like, and I also had the biological clock ticking. So when you hit your thirties, there's this thing, you're like, you gotta find the guy, you gotta get married, you gotta have the kids.

And there was this big disconnect between who I was and who I thought I should be. And because of that, I wasn't finding the right people. I wasn't with the right people. And. I found my current boyfriend. Who's amazing. We've been together three years. Our home life is just amazing. We have our things like anybody else, but like, but our home life is just so, so good.

And our little doggie is amazing and I got him when I finally didn't care anymore. I decided I didn't wanna have kids. I was just happy. I had my life like figured out. I felt like, and I'd also hired a dating coach that taught me how to practice my flirting. And so when I , when I met him, I was just practicing my flirting.

I wasn't trying, like I was following the dating course and the dating course said, You go out and you practice you're flirting and you find the best looking guy, you know, the most attractive one in the room to you and you go up to him and you practice your flirting and then you walk away like no expectation, just no expectation at all.

So I went and he was touring. He's a musician and he was up on stage and I went up to him after and my pickup line was, Hey, are you here to see the band too? Because he was in the band. So it was like a joke and he just kinda like laughed and, you know, he was just so genuine and he said, no, I'm in the band.

And I said, I know I'm just here to practice my flirting. And then I walked away and then he wouldn't let me walk away. And now we've been together three years that he lives in Vegas now. And he's amazing. So what I'm trying to say is that happened for me when I didn't have any expectation on. And was just living my life and loving myself the way I was crazy stuff.

And then this has also happened in business where during the pandemic. So I have been fighting to keep my business. We've had amazing times. We have had rock bottom, crazy pants times, and I've been fighting to keep my business. Now it's been 18 years, but at the pandemic time, it was like what? That was three years ago.

So 15, 16 years, six yeah, 16 years. And when the pandemic hit, I just had this wash of calm come over me and I realized everything will be fine if I don't have this business. Everything will be fine. There's always a way we could go back to the parks. We could rent. We could rent a high school gymnasium.  oh, no, there's just, there are options.

There are options. And I, I really didn't have any pride about it. No ego about it. Just everything will be fine. And in fact, my truck was also in the shop and my brother used to have this old, old Honda.  where he drilled, like the fender into it and stuff. And our dog Ozzie and my boyfriend and I, we took, we had to borrow the Honda and we were in line at, in and out.

And we didn't have, we forgot our wallets. We had to scrounge and like find money. And all of a sudden I realized that if I was looking at my life, From somewhere else. And I saw that scene of me in the old beat up Honda scrounging for money at 38 years old or however old, I was a few years ago, a couple years ago, but I had Denny, I had Ozzie, I had my family, I had love.

I was like, I'm cool. I'm fine. Everything is fine. And just the, the whole concept of it was absolutely nuts that I would be fine, but I was, I was so fine and I would make this joke about where my worst case scenario as moving back in with my parents and my mom would probably try to do my laundry. I wouldn't let her, but she would try.

And does that sound so bad? No, not at all. And then what happened? And then all of these things, and I talk about it in the mastermind, cuz there's a lot, there's more to it than this, but this is, this is maybe the biggest part of it. I was also doing like a morning routine that I did for a couple years that I shared my mastermind and stuff.

Actually, I think I'm gonna share that for free. I'm gonna do that as a free gift, so watch out for it. But anyways, like for a limited time and then I'm gonna package it in my courses. But anyways, after that we bought a building, we became like as successful or more successful than ever. We, our team was the best, best, best, best that it had ever been.

Our rhinos the best, best, best. We've always had amazing rhinos. If you're a rhino, I love you. If you're not a rhino, I love you too. But. Everything just worked out. It's like really, all I had to do was love myself the way that I was and feel into the feeling of happiness now, just as I am and oh, and going back to the Honda story.

That was the day the gyms were shut down. And so that's what I was talking about. Like, looking back if I had no context, the gyms had been shut down, we were in this beat up condo. We didn't have enough money for in and out, like if I had no context and it was just that, like that I'd be okay. That was a big piece of that story.

But what I'm trying to say is when we rewire our brains, and this is a big thing that we work on in my mastermind too, when we rewire our brains to love ourselves now, And then with curiosity and excitement, like getting curious about things. Hmm. What would happen? Let me feel into this with my intuition.

Let me see how this feels to me. And then I get excited about whatever, like you forge ahead with curiosity and excitement, trying new things, seeing where the new things lead you. And then voila, we release. We released the shame. We released the guilt. We released the unworthiness and yes, we release the extra weight.

Physically and mentally we released the business from the bondage that was us striving and trying, and having a hard time. We release our dating story and we step into a new story.

There's other ways to do this. I, I truly believe you can work yourself to the bone. Lose the weight. I believe you could work yourself to the bone and build your business. I believe you can. I don't know. Dating. I don't know anything about dating. I'm just kidding.  kind of, no, I I'm sure. I never figured out the way, the other way to date besides like, I, I really feel like loving yourself is the only way to have the relationships you.

That opinion is subject to change without notice. But for right now, that's really, and truly how I feel. Cuz if we don't love ourselves, everything is just a box to be checked. The relationships aren't real. If we're not true to ourselves, it's a facade of us that is in the relationship, which can't be a real relationship.

Right. But that could be a subject for another day. Thank you so much. If you're still listening, you are crazy and I appreciate you and I'll be having a free gift coming out. That will be from one of my courses. This one is about business, but I'll probably be making a free gift about getting and a free gift about weight loss too.

Just I feel into these things. So I'll be packaging that it'll be up soon. You can always go. Does, you can always message me and say, Hey, what's the free gift right now. And I can send it to you.  rhino tough. You are limitless. Life is a game that we get to make the rules for. Let's play.