0:47

Yo yoyo, what is up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of the win effect show presented by J win Jack

0:53

studios. I'm your host, Chris Ross, if you don't know me, and if you do know me,

0:57

you know, things are about to pop off. If you're watching a video component of this, I have another beautiful human Dr.

1:02

Ruth Allen, one of my personal friends, um, host of the brain health, um,

1:06

UN shaming, your pain show presented my wind jet and, uh,

1:09

just a really dope individual. <laugh> really excited.

1:12

I was just on her show for, I think it was the second time now. Right?

1:14

Second time. Yeah. That's. Right. That's anyways, welcome back.

1:17

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on your show. So excited.

1:20

I can already already film my cheeks raising and,

1:23

and my muscles are gonna be already tied by the end.

1:26

Of it. Yeah, we, we always have a good time. Don't we always have a good time.

1:30

Do you know for people out there, um, that maybe don't know much of you,

1:34

and I know that obviously we're tapping into a lot of audiences and especially

1:37

the reach with wind jets, and we're really excited about, you know, now that,

1:41

um, I wouldn't say the world taken in by storm is just kind of like showing people

1:44

what we're doing here. Exactly. And presenting shows, empowering them with a,

1:49

with a platform that they are able to reach their fans in different types of

1:52

ways and reaching a different types of audience for those who maybe potentially

1:56

don't know the great Dr. Ruth, how would you like to introduce yourself to the world?

2:00

So I really help people take that control of the wellbeing,

2:04

but through the lens of brain health. So I help business leaders, entrepreneurs,

2:09

and family leaders do that for themselves and for their family mm-hmm

2:13

<affirmative>, um, so that they can really truly win back energy and time doing what they love with

2:17

the people that they love. Um, but we approach that whole piece of achieving that next level of performance

2:24

and potential, but, um, different to other way,

2:28

coaches approach us. We go through the lens of brain health.

2:32

Mm-hmm <affirmative> and I really, I like that too,

2:34

cuz I know obviously me being immersed into all of this, your systems and,

2:38

and what you're promoting and what you're building, you've been doing a lot of revamp stuff is the new doctor,

2:42

Ruth that I'm seeing with a lot of the content and a lot of things you're doing

2:46

with your site. Yeah, yeah. So we, um, building out the wellbeing warrior academy, um,

2:52

which is really focused around children and teenagers and,

2:57

and family mm-hmm <affirmative> families,

2:59

really learning how they can take charge of their wellbeing and, and,

3:03

and developing the programs around that. So we have the,

3:07

the wellbeing warrior academy, junior belts mm-hmm <affirmative> program,

3:11

which is taken very SIM simple view. Um,

3:14

and that's saying for children who are at age seven to 11,

3:19

to really help them learn what it, what brain health is and,

3:22

and how they can become wellbeing more is for themselves. And,

3:26

and also obviously for, for the, for the family as well. Um,

3:30

and that's done with in conjunction with the, with the adult.

3:34

So the carers of the family, and that's translatable out to schools as well.

3:39

Gotcha. And then we have brain thrive by 25, which is focused on,

3:43

on teenagers learning about their brain.

3:46

So that's more detailed explanation and their feelings and what, and theirs,

3:50

the context of their life's journey as teenagers up to the age of 25,

3:54

which is where your brain fully matures. And then we have, um,

3:58

programs focused around all ages to look at

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how people can optimize their brain health.

4:05

So this is doing a deep dive into your, your brain, how your brain works,

4:10

how it operates. And we do that through detailed brain health evaluations.

4:14

And then on the back of that, within the academy, we have, uh,

4:18

programs associated with memory rescue mm-hmm <affirmative>, um,

4:21

mood rescue <laugh>. Um, and also I'm.

4:26

Gonna meet that for couple people that I come in contact with <laugh>.

4:29

Yeah. And, and, and then we have, uh, we have brain fit for work and life,

4:34

which is more focused around businesses and organizations so that they can

4:38

incorporate cognitive performance into the workplaces. You know,

4:42

we talk a lot about neurodiversity and we talk about wellbeing as it,

4:47

like it's a separate entity, but actually it all falls under the, the, uh,

4:52

big banner of brain health, um, because we all have unique brains.

4:55

So it's looking at how we, how can we approach performance in the context of,

5:00

of optimal brain performance? Mm-hmm.

5:03

That actually leads me to the question that I wanted to ask you.

5:06

Obviously you have your show, brain health, unchaining, your painting,

5:09

you have your guests come on and you have a pretty much an opening question

5:13

somewhere in the beginning where you ask, you know,

5:15

what does optimal brain health mean to you? And I came onto your show and I thought I was gonna make I, you kept, it came.

5:21

I literally came outta nowhere for me. I was like, where did this? I didn't,

5:24

I felt like I was getting set up <laugh> because if we came on talking about

5:28

grief and trauma, because obviously with the current state of the country, and,

5:32

you know, obviously out here in the UK of, um, queen, your Maney passing, um,

5:37

I think she just was buried. Um, I think it was Monday this week. Wasn't it?

5:40

Monday? Yeah. Was her funeral. Yeah. Yeah. You already went to the funeral.

5:43

We were talking about grief and trauma and she came outta nowhere and hit me

5:46

with the question and caught me off guard, but it was, I enjoyed it. Um,

5:49

but what does optimal brain health mean to you, Dr. Roof?

5:53

What a great question. So I think for me,

5:57

it's about knowing how your brain

6:03

functions, um, knowing you at a deep level, in terms of your brain,

6:09

brain function and performance, and then getting the best out of it in whatever way you want that to be.

6:15

Mm-hmm <affirmative> so, so, you know, I,

6:19

I spent time fighting my brain or not really leveraging its power,

6:25

um, before I understood really truly how it worked. So I have a very,

6:29

very active brain. I have a very fast, uh, processor called the, um,

6:34

broad Saum and I have a overactive

6:39

basal Gangler, which are my anxiety centers. Mm-hmm uh,

6:43

and those two things combined with a little bit of overactivity in my

6:47

anterior single DRIs make, makes for a person that is thinks too fast for many

6:54

other people. So I'm go up a hundred miles an hour,

6:58

and many people can't keep up, which is frustrating for both parties.

7:01

Mm-hmm <affirmative> I, uh, I, I get super anxious. Uh,

7:06

and so I have an, I have anxiety, uh, traits <laugh>, um,

7:11

associated with, with my anxiety. So I, I need to learn how to calm that down.

7:15

And then I also have on my way or the highway approach to life, um.

7:20

No, you don't say <laugh>. Which doesn't always serve me. So, so historically, you know,

7:26

I not understanding my brain function. Um,

7:31

it ha that that brain type mm-hmm <affirmative>, uh,

7:34

has worked against me in many, many cases. And, um,

7:39

and you know, what, like many people, I have childhood trauma that you,

7:42

you know, Chuck that in as well. And, um, you know,

7:45

there's loads of things that I've done that I deeply regret <laugh>. Um,

7:50

and so I, I, and I know now why I did stupid things,

7:56

uh, because I didn't, I didn't truly understand why my brain was behaving the way it was, but,

8:01

but optimal brain health for me is understanding what you've got.

8:06

<laugh> mm-hmm <affirmative>, um, and getting the best. It.

8:09

I love the answer. You, you probably didn't know.

8:11

I was gonna ask you that question, did you? No, I had it in my mind.

8:14

I think about earlier today, I I'm gonna hit up with the same question.

8:17

I love what you said about understanding the brain that you were obviously dealt

8:22

with. Right. But it doesn't have to be that way and no having understanding

8:28

of certain things that light up in your,

8:30

obviously in your brain and knowing what you need to do to combat that.

8:35

Right. Yeah. And you need to feel it yes. A hundred percent.

8:40

And, and I really love that answer because it it's true. I mean,

8:43

when you just raising your awareness and understanding how you operate,

8:48

what makes you tick, why you tick this way, you know, um,

8:52

I'm not to obviously project this a conversation,

8:55

but me suffering from reactive abuse has taught me a lot of things

9:00

and how much that I wouldn't, I wouldn't say a no,

9:03

but I would minimize of what was happening around me until they put me

9:08

in pressure situation where I can take couldn't take anything else mm-hmm

9:12

<affirmative> and end up in the, you know, spouting off of the mouth or whatever. Right.

9:15

Mm-hmm <affirmative> when you're applied that much pressure. But if you understand how your brain works and some of the,

9:21

you can kind of figure out how do I go about making sure

9:26

that doesn't happen? Yeah. You know, I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I totally get it. Cause like, for me,

9:30

like my anterior singular Jarris, which is the central bit in my brain,

9:35

it works a bit too hard. Yeah. And so I,

9:37

I often get stuck on thoughts, you know, and I, and it, like,

9:42

it is literally my way or the highway sometimes. And my husband knows that.

9:48

Dave. I know, like this morning I had to some,

9:55

some meetings for a, a project I'm working on and getting really angry <laugh> I

10:01

could like feel that anger and, you know,

10:04

tension welling up inside me and just being ready to kick off with,

10:09

you know, <laugh>. Yeah. I mean, cause everybody, we're all human, you know, I mean,

10:14

whatever's gonna, whatever's gonna, you know, pretty much lights you on fire.

10:16

It's gonna lights you on fire. And it's like, everyone has pet peeves,

10:19

but it's funny that you say that you're you,

10:22

your brain processes information faster. So you are very much,

10:26

you're more of an active thinker and I'm, that's the thing.

10:28

That's why you and I get along so well it's cuz my brain, I,

10:31

I can't turn that off. Yeah. And it's really frustrating when someone else is an understanding <laugh> we

10:37

just did it to each other. Perfect example,

10:40

two fast thinkers on the same call and you're gonna get this cause the

10:44

conversation go anywhere. Right? Exactly. Exactly. But also, you know,

10:49

for me and I had this for much of my, um,

10:53

well my earlier career is I didn't know to downregulate the speed

10:57

that I was thinking and talking mm-hmm <affirmative> so sometimes I might my

11:02

talking can't keep up with my thinking and I'm sure people can relate to this.

11:05

And I will, my husband will try and have a conversation with me or,

11:09

or some people have a conversation with me and I haven't slowed down my thinking

11:14

to speak clearly. So I come up with sentences that are just not constructed <laugh>

11:21

cause I haven't had time to construct them in a slow way.

11:26

Right. And, and articulate my thoughts. And, and I know I, you know,

11:30

many years ago I was working on a project and one of the pet peeves of the

11:34

person I was working with is he said, you just, you are going too fast.

11:38

<laugh> mm-hmm Ian Barry mention his is like, you are going,

11:42

you need to slow down. I can't keep up with you.

11:45

And many people can't keep up with you. And so have to people on to get to where I'm at.

11:52

It's exhausting. And it's, it's really for,

11:55

it can be really frustrating for both parties <laugh> because one person is like

12:00

being, you know, all received and the other persons like,

12:04

oh my God. That's what it sounds like when,

12:12

Uh, my mom used to say this and I think I've, I may have may or may not have told you this story,

12:16

but my mom tells this story just randomly to people. Right.

12:19

That my son, when he was born and as soon as he learned how to walk,

12:24

he ran and I have one speed, one,

12:28

and just go, I just don't right. My feet here, the ground I'm gone.

12:33

And I don't, I don't know what it is about. I, I, something, if I feel like I,

12:36

I'm not active or I have anything going on, it's where I get in trouble. Yeah.

12:40

Cause you gotta gimme something to do. Yeah, no, I'm the same S.

12:46

Something to do. Yeah. I find it really difficult to like sit down on the sofa

12:53

and watch television and I have to consciously do it to try and to try and shut

12:57

off, calm myself down mm-hmm <affirmative> and, and wind down. But, uh,

13:01

it's like I'm on a cold spring. So if you give me the opportunity to run around and do stuff, I mean,

13:07

I could probably work. I know I would be completely dysfunctional,

13:11

but I could work 24 7.

13:14

If my brain would allow me to mm-hmm <affirmative>, you know,

13:17

from a replenishment perspective. Um,

13:20

but I know I can't do that and I know I burn out and it's really,

13:24

it's really hard for me to pause and slow down

13:30

and stop and go, okay.

13:32

Now is it's now me and me time chill out time,

13:38

or even spend time with the other half time, because I,

13:41

I just struggled to, to take that to slow down, um,

13:46

and stop. So this. This is powerful. Okay.

13:50

I'm gonna pick your brain on this because I sounds like we're the same person.

13:55

What are some of your barriers or what are some of the things you must do and have to,

14:02

to ensure that you are able to slow down and kind of recharge or

14:07

recycle? Um, maybe with spouses, it could be just with anything,

14:11

even with your child Lilly, right? So when you're, yeah.

14:14

Making sure you're touching all the things that you have to do because it's,

14:18

it's not, it is non-negotiable right. You have to spend that time, quality time.

14:22

If you wanna have a great relationship, you wanna have a great relationship with your mom.

14:26

You wanna have a great relationship with, I don't know, someone down the street named Sally, you have to be able to invest that time.

14:32

But what I've always found is where I feel like one,

14:35

I'm not able to recycle energy or I'm getting reciprocated

14:40

of my level of, I guess, effort, then I shut off.

14:45

Yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah, totally. You just don't like, if you, so.

14:50

What does that look like? If. That you just disconnect from it cuz it's not fueling you.

14:53

Right. So, um, yeah, I totally get that. And I think, you know, it's the same,

14:59

that's a similar situation from everyone. If you're not having that,

15:03

if you're not receiving that emotional energy that,

15:08

that make, that drives you. And you know, we talk about like,

15:12

it's our responsibility to generate happiness. It's our responsibility to, and,

15:16

and absolutely it is. But ultimately we are a,

15:20

we are connected human beings. We're a system, you know,

15:23

you and I are interacting and we are gonna bounce energy off of each other. And,

15:27

and if, if you surround yourself with people who don't give you that level of energy,

15:33

that's gonna motivate you and, and, and fill your bucket up.

15:37

But they're just draining it all the time.

15:40

<Laugh>, that's what it feels like. I feel like I'm even in a conversation,

15:42

I can feel myself trying to protect myself as much as possible.

15:47

Mm-hmm <affirmative> and not taking on that negative charge. I I'm just,

15:51

I'm not a negative individual. I'm just, I've never have been,

15:55

but you can't get there if you're around a lot of negative people and.

15:59

It's exhausting. Oh gosh.

16:02

Um, it's exhausting. And you know, um,

16:08

even for people that kind of come up with, um,

16:13

negative comments when, when actually, um,

16:18

so I'll, I'll, I'll take the funeral, I'll take it as an example. Um, the,

16:23

the Queen's funeral it's really easy to focus in on, uh, it,

16:28

you know, and spend your time focusing on is somebody out of step or, you know,

16:32

did they, did they do, did they do the turn <laugh> anything like that rather than looking at the whole

16:38

system and going my God,

16:40

what an amazing accomplishment was achieved in 10,

16:44

in 10 days and the most, the largest event globally, you know, uh,

16:48

for people to nitpick on the negativity. And it's like,

16:53

you know, seriously just, you know, acknowledge the,

16:58

the, the accomplishments that people have and focus on the positives that you,

17:02

that can be gained from a situation rather than labeling, uh,

17:06

and laboring or on the negativity.

17:10

And I think it all comes back to our mindset. Doesn't it is.

17:13

We naturally as a human species, just from an evolutionary perspective,

17:18

we default to a negative mindset cause that's necessary for our survival.

17:22

And when you surround yourself with people who are in a kind of survival mode,

17:27

they're surviving and not thriving in their, in their ecosystem of life.

17:33

Cause we all experience a different life. Then,

17:37

then they are naturally when we connect,

17:40

gonna suck energy outta your ecosystem, right. And,

17:45

and pull you down. And it's important that we put those barriers,

17:48

those barriers up to know, okay, this is,

17:51

this is me and my energy mm-hmm <affirmative> and you are entitled to your

17:56

energy level. And if it's low, it's low,

17:59

but don't make it my responsibility. Oh.

18:04

I love that. I love that. You said it. To sort your energy level out, cause that's your responsibility to own. And it,

18:10

and it's the same, you know, when I'll go back to the funeral.

18:15

Cause it's easy thing to, like, I was really sad about the funeral and my daughter,

18:20

Lily came and gave me huge hugs and asked me why I'm sad.

18:23

And I tried to explain it to her, but it was my responsibility

18:29

to, to lift myself out the sadness. She was super helpful in, in,

18:34

in that process. But she wasn't gonna let my sadness influence her emotions.

18:40

Right. You know, she, she, she actually disconnected from the funeral, uh,

18:45

uh, and went and played in the, in the,

18:48

in the other room so she could have fun.

18:51

<laugh> mm-hmm <affirmative> and that's what we need to do as individuals is,

18:54

you know, do you know this is, you know,

18:56

here's my boundary <laugh> uh,

19:00

and here's where I've reached my limit. I'm not gonna give my emotion away to you because you don't ha you,

19:06

you can't generate it yourself.

19:09

Mm-hmm <affirmative> to the point that I'm gonna deplete my emotional tank.

19:12

Right. I knew this was gonna happen. <laugh> I knew this was gonna happen.

19:18

<laugh> it happens every time. Like there's not enough time in a,

19:23

a recording or a live stream. It,

19:25

it's not enough time when we have conversations.

19:28

There's so many different angles there.

19:31

And I want the listeners to really grasp this.

19:34

If you're a person that you feel that you're pouring into everybody else,

19:38

and you're not getting enough back to be able to replenish or recycle energy,

19:43

creating boundaries is probably the deciding factor of you living a fulfilled

19:47

life. Because if you are not aware of that type of stuff or what you're doing,

19:53

you're just pouring everything into everybody else. Here's where I suffer. Dr.

19:57

Rubin. I wanna make sure these listeners understand this. It's where I suffered is I poured myself into my businesses and poured

20:03

myself into my career, cuz I wasn't getting anything else from the external.

20:07

Okay. Yeah. And that's where I got a lot of fulfillment from is,

20:11

is helping people and, and the systems I would create educational systems and the processes that I

20:16

would put in place it, I, I could see it instantaneous,

20:20

the effect that I would have on others of changing their lives.

20:24

Mm-hmm <affirmative> so that's where I would pour all my energy into.

20:28

And the reason why I'm cause. You get feedback. A hundred percent, but so.

20:32

You get positive feedback. Yes. And so of course you're gonna do it cause you're getting some feedback loop,

20:37

you know, we. A hundred percent, I mean it was instantaneous, you know, <laugh>, you know,

20:41

when I make a shift in a business and then people don't understand about a lot

20:45

of things when it comes to business real business, when you have different type of structures and distribution channels and

20:50

different type of things in place and you have a vision and what I envision,

20:52

you're not gonna see, but it's not your job to see it. It's my vision.

20:55

It's my story. It's my vision. Right. It's spine.

20:57

So when someone tells you that you can't do something, I'm gonna go,

21:00

I'm gonna make you eat that word. But when I put a system in place and I make a small little finite move,

21:05

right. And then that finite move ends up making a massive impact.

21:10

That brings me a lot of fulfillment. Okay. Yeah.

21:13

So in personal relationships and the reason I wanna scale it back in personal

21:17

relationships where I really failed when I would shut off and personal

21:21

relationships or it could be just a friend when you weren't giving me what I

21:25

feel that I should be reciprocated of the type of level, energy and effort,

21:29

then I shut off Uhhuh and I'll just go pour my energy into things that obviously

21:33

bring me satisfaction and joy. Yeah.

21:36

But my problem is I, I become very resentful.

21:39

Okay. You. Know. I mean that to own from a resentment perspective, but because you know,

21:46

we can fit, we can spend, we think about we've got a garden and I.

21:50

Like this analogy we. Can pour. We can pour all of our energy into feeding the plants that are gonna make our

21:55

garden look beautiful. Or we can pour all of our energy into focusing on weeding our garden, uh,

22:01

and getting rid of the bugs. One is gonna bring you a lot of satisfaction and one,

22:07

it might bring you some irritation mm-hmm <affirmative> and it could be

22:10

different for both people. So if, if those, we, if,

22:14

if we're not taking the time to manage the garden, right.

22:17

And not let the weeds come into the garden in the first place,

22:20

then of course we're gonna spend a lot of time weeding, um,

22:24

and less time tending to the beauty and, you know,

22:27

appreciating the beauty of the garden that we have or the beauty that we can

22:31

create within our garden. Um, and so it's,

22:34

it's important that we just acknowledge some people are just

22:39

not gonna serve us. Right. And that's okay. Cause they're not gonna serve you.

22:45

You can't make them serve you. No.

22:48

But you try to force anything in this world. It's not gonna work out in your favor. It's not.

22:52

And you just gotta say, do you know what you know?

22:55

And it could be family members that, that, that are not serving you or your,

22:59

or your immediate relationship with your,

23:01

with your other half is not serving you at the level that you need

23:06

to be served to fill fulfilled and fulfilled is

23:11

fully full <laugh>. Right. And, and so they could be serving part of you.

23:16

So I like to think when we talk about becoming a wellbeing warrior,

23:21

it's about looking at your emotional wellbeing.

23:23

It's about looking at your physical wellbeing. It's looking at your mental wellbeing and your spiritual wellbeing.

23:28

And often people miss out one of those four quadrants when they look at the,

23:32

the whole person. And so someone could be fulfilling you emotionally,

23:38

but not fulfilling you mentally.

23:41

So you could have like loads of emotional stimulus,

23:44

but nothing cognitively,

23:47

nothing that's really lighting up in inside in terms of an

23:51

intellectual con you know, stimulus conversation. And so on.

23:55

They're not on the same wavelength, uh, is often how we, how we, um,

23:59

talk, talk about it or they could be,

24:02

they could be stimulating you physically, and you,

24:05

you have great relationships sexually, for example,

24:09

but actually spiritually, you,

24:11

you totally misaligned in terms of your core values and beliefs. So,

24:16

so you've gotta look at what do you want out of life on those

24:21

four quadrants, mostly physically, mentally, and spiritually. And,

24:25

and is your, uh,

24:27

friendship circle or your circle of connections for filling

24:32

those buckets up? Mm-hmm <affirmative> because if they're not,

24:35

then it's so incumbent upon you to take action and do something about it.

24:39

Not incumbent upon the person to,

24:41

to change how they're behaving to, to suit your needs.

24:46

Cause that's, that's just an aggressive.

24:49

Friction. Yeah. You're not. Is a cumber on you to go and find the right people.

24:53

Right. Well then also just being aware, the fact that what you are,

24:58

what you do need, right? Most people don't know how to articulate what they really want from a

25:02

relationship, any, any ship. Okay. No.

25:05

But when kind of ties back into the type of person you are,

25:09

whether you said that your, your brain, your, so you, you obviously wavelength,

25:13

you think faster than most people. I, I suffer from that.

25:18

One of my core needs in any relationship,

25:22

I have to hold an intellectual conversation with you.

25:25

And I have to feel keyword here is feel,

25:28

feel that you begin withstand that type of frequency.

25:32

Mm-hmm <affirmative>. Do you know what I mean to recycle? Yeah. But if you're,

25:35

and that's what I feel that, and, and I don't wanna talk about obviously with the, with a spouse,

25:39

but I guess it is that way, what I'm, when I I'm like,

25:43

obviously mentally, mentally engaged with that other person,

25:49

I'm more romantic, more, you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah. And all that,

25:53

cuz I'm able to do more cuz I'm getting something.

25:56

Yeah. Cause you need that mental stimulus. So mental,

25:59

mental connection for you is really important. Yes.

26:03

And that's okay. But for some people it might not be important at all.

26:07

Much. Yeah. They'd be like, I don't wanna talk <laugh>.

26:09

Yeah. They might not want that stimulus mentally. They might prefer to,

26:13

you know, spiritual connection might be more important, emotional connect,

26:17

you know, so we all have different levels of importance in terms of how we wanna connect.

26:22

But until we take the time to truly understand, you know, uh,

26:26

a worksheet on this and a, a questionnaire on this part of the coaching I do,

26:31

until we understand what it is we really need and what we really want and what

26:36

our priorities are and what we're getting,

26:40

we don't really have that visibility, uh,

26:44

to know what we need to change and what we are empowered to change, uh,

26:48

in that process. So it, it, you know, it,

26:51

it's not complicated to do the work,

26:55

but you have to do the work <laugh> mm-hmm.

26:57

<Affirmative> yeah. I mean. To understand what.

27:00

You, why do you feel that most people don't want to put in that work when it comes to

27:04

their, their brain health or even coming to even knowing,

27:07

understanding how they tick and what they need.

27:09

And I know that's some of the things you obviously do with your one-on-one

27:12

coaching anding, and we talk all about this.

27:16

If someone say let's create a scenario, it's be easier for the listeners say I'm a person

27:22

and I don't know you Uhhuh <affirmative> and I'm, and I'm,

27:25

I don't understand what the problem is.

27:27

And I see a lot of that with people that they don't even know what the problem

27:30

is, they just know they're not feel, they, they feel like shit. Yeah.

27:34

And I'm not getting, I'm just, I'm just in despair. Right? What,

27:37

what is your first step with that type of client or that type of person where

27:42

they just at, at lost, they don't know how to articulate their emotions.

27:45

They wanna feel good in relationships and they feel that they're self

27:49

sabotaging, whatever that might be for someone mm-hmm <affirmative> what do you typically do

27:54

with your clients in that type of situation?

27:56

Yeah. So, so typically people start in the program. Um,

28:00

if we, if we're doing one-on-one coaching mm-hmm <affirmative> so we start in,

28:04

um, brain, we, they start with the brain power performance accelerator program,

28:09

and that's really, we look at your five pillars of brain health and,

28:13

and it's okay. You know, whatever start state people are at is totally okay.

28:17

But people will get an assessment on, on the five pillars,

28:20

which is their feelings that actions, their connections,

28:23

their thoughts and surroundings, and they'll rate themselves, uh,

28:27

in those five pillar areas. And then we'll dial in on the,

28:31

on each of the pillars, cuz they're all interconnected mm-hmm <affirmative> um,

28:35

to make sure that they elevate themselves and they learn the right tools and

28:39

techniques to check in with their feelings, to understand their actions,

28:43

to understand how they connect with themselves and others,

28:46

to understand their thoughts and understand how their surroundings are

28:49

influencing them. So the, the facts we say, let's look at the facts. So,

28:54

so that's where we first start. And then, and then we build on that,

28:58

but they're the kind of fundamentals and that applies that, uh, for children,

29:03

I take children through this program at, you know, very basic, basic level.

29:08

They look at the facts, um, all the way through to, uh, people who,

29:13

who would like to be children <laugh> at the, of, of their years.

29:18

So, um, that's where we start and it,

29:20

and it's okay to struggle in any of those areas.

29:23

It's okay to you feel shit.

29:25

It's okay to not really know where those feelings are coming from because you're

29:30

not, nobody gets taught this in school. No,

29:33

nobody gets taught how to feel or how to articulate their feelings.

29:36

Nobody gets taught about brain health in general. And,

29:40

and the fact that our brain runs everything, uh, in our body,

29:44

it's like our central computer. It's like a beautiful little organ inside your head and you're not left with

29:49

what you have. You can get it better. You can get better if.

29:52

You can. Absolutely. And yeah, I mean, it's this, we it's like a muscle.

29:56

We have to, we have to use it and we have to work it and we have to look after it. Um, I,

30:01

I like to think of it as, as like your engine of life and nobody talks about, you know,

30:07

if we've got a super racing car, um,

30:10

there's three aspects to a race car,

30:12

some cars don't like to come out of the garage,

30:15

cuz they're afraid that what people might think of them,

30:17

they might maybe they're worried about the body color or them got the right

30:21

logos on or whatever, or is it the right shape and so on.

30:24

So that's the first bit, so it's about unchaining, your paint.

30:27

So you get this amazing super car out, out of the garage.

30:30

Then you've got the training of the people that drive for super car,

30:34

which is typical coaching where you, you teach people how to,

30:38

to navigate their way through life. But then you've got the engine. So this,

30:43

and, and the coaching that I do is looking at all of these aspects is the engine of,

30:46

of the super car. And that's your brain.

30:49

And in understanding what fuels your brain,

30:52

what is the right fuel to put in it?

30:55

So don't put diesel or don't put petrol in a diesel engine.

30:59

Like my husband did when we went on a journey in our camper event, big disaster,

31:03

but we never. Think, where were you at? <laugh> where.

31:06

Were you at the channel tunnel? Do you realize that when? Well, I don't know how it is here, but um,

31:11

I have a driver, but its driver puts gas in it, but petrol, but in the states,

31:16

they, you know, the diesel ones have a bigger nozzle.

31:18

You can't fit it in the hole, you know? Uh.

31:21

So diesel has a bigger nozzle. So you can't.

31:23

Okay. I didn't know if it was. Diesel in a petrol, but you can't put petrol and diesel.

31:27

Oh, that makes sense. Okay. Got it. Got it. <laugh>.

31:30

So yeah, so we were, we were, we were lining up to go on the tunnel,

31:34

the channel tunnel. And I said to my husband, you know, the cart,

31:37

the camper van was behaving really? Oddly I go.

31:40

Yeah, yeah. I was like, what's going on? And I said,

31:44

are you sure you put the right fuel in cuz we fueled up just before we got on.

31:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have. And I had to phone the petrol station to check

31:54

what he put in. And of course he put petrol in diesel,

31:57

but by that point we were committed in the queue. Yeah. So we,

32:00

we got ourselves onto the tunnel, but then we had to be, uh,

32:05

had a recovery vehicle to us off at the other end,

32:09

like the humiliation. Oh man, I'm sorry.

32:15

Have it all flushed out, but you can't, you know,

32:18

you don't go and get a flush out of your brain when you put the wrong.

32:23

The key in the numb, the problems and ignoring the problems,

32:25

let most people right. Is ignoring it. And avoidance is big for people.

32:30

Absolutely. And this comes back to the acceptance piece is accepting,

32:35

you know, people don't want to accept that they're making,

32:39

making the wrong choices in life and, and you know, you come,

32:43

how do I help people? Is, you know, why you mentioned earlier,

32:47

why do people not wanna do the work? What, what, what often what's happened in,

32:51

in society and culture in their sort of last 50,

32:55

70 years is people are being promised a pill

33:00

to fix the problem. So what's happened is the companies that develop these pills

33:08

are taking power away from people.

33:11

And we have an awful lot of agency and power over our health

33:16

and wellbeing. Um, and slowly but surely it's being eroded.

33:22

And the key thing for me is to give people back that power and control,

33:26

right. That they always had. We always had it,

33:30

but some somewhere, including all the,

33:33

all the adverts and all the, you know, the misinformation that's been, what's.

33:38

Horrible in mistakes. It's even worse. Yeah. It's even worse in mistakes.

33:42

Oh, it's just ridiculous. And governments get involved as well. So they,

33:46

you know, people try and trust the government, but it turns out that they're,

33:50

you know, they're in bed with the companies that really are the worst killers in the

33:55

context of people's health and wellbeing is it's,

33:58

it it's really important that we, we provide the right education,

34:03

uh, and empower the people. And then the people have the,

34:07

have the power to change the status quo, but P but it requires work.

34:12

You know, it requires work to change your, uh,

34:17

standard operating system, um, and how you've been educated as to what's. Okay.

34:22

And what's not okay. And, um, and you know,

34:26

so much misinformation, like the low fat diets, like just total nonsense,

34:31

you know, based on scientific evidence that was completely flawed. Um,

34:35

the information around how fat is so bad for you, certain types of fat,

34:39

for sure. Trans fats, but what happened there in the low fat diet is they got rid of all the fat and

34:46

they chucked in sugar and actually it's sugar. That's the problem.

34:48

It was never the fat, the fat in the first. And so there's,

34:53

it's about educating people with the right information and allowing,

34:58

allowing people to make informed choices. Yes.

35:02

People are gonna make the wrong decisions. All the time. Yeah.

35:05

You know, and that's their, their right to choose.

35:08

But we need to give people more informed choices about how much power they

35:13

have and how much power is given away. You know,

35:15

if we think about medication or it even so principally

35:20

medication is it, it deals with symptoms and, and the,

35:24

and the way that medicine has evolved.

35:26

It evolved from looking at the whole person, you know,

35:31

hundreds of years ago, you'd look at the whole person and you'd have a family doctor, or you'd have a,

35:35

a healer who would talk,

35:38

understand you <laugh> mm-hmm <affirmative> as a person.

35:41

Now medicine looks at you as a, as a series of symptoms.

35:46

It doesn't look the whole of you. It just looks at a symptom.

35:50

So they never tend to ask you, how are you feeling?

35:53

What's the last question. What's going on in your life at the moment? You know, they,

35:58

they just look at the symptom and then they deal with the symptom,

36:03

but they never really deal with it cuz it's not the root cause. So they,

36:06

they put a bandaid over a gaping wound, but the root cause still remains.

36:11

So you end up naturally,

36:14

cuz this is about making money with the companies. Um,

36:18

many of the companies that make medicines is why would you want to help people

36:22

get better? Yeah. Why? I mean, they're gonna feed their pockets. They're.

36:25

Sick. Right. I mean, it's keeping them sick. I mean they're, I mean,

36:29

even you're looking at some forms of obviously the entertainment in the world is

36:32

keeping you sick. Yeah. Where you see in states. I mean,

36:36

I know it's obviously here too, but you don't see a lot of liquor stores on the high streets.

36:43

See a lot of liquor stores in, you know, in, in, um,

36:46

obviously areas where there's not really that prominent. Right.

36:49

So you it's suppression. Okay. Yeah.

36:53

Once you kinda have an understanding on how the world world really works,

36:57

you start to detach yourself from their way of thinking

37:02

cuz you, you now can see the motive.

37:05

Yeah. You know, and I, and I, and that's why it makes you so passionate about your show and what you talk

37:11

about. You're talking about a whole different way of someone looking at a situation

37:16

because I know when my mom and when my sister passed away,

37:20

my mom obviously was struggling. It just gave her a pill,

37:24

depression pill that doesn't work just cause no.

37:28

I mean, they did same to my mom when she right. You know,

37:31

and she was in a really difficult place when my dad passed away.

37:34

As many people are, um, you know,

37:36

when she was feeling suicidal and her father committed suicide.

37:40

So we had to do a quick, uh, you know, very rapid intervention. Right. Which,

37:46

which, you know, I phoned the doctor and said, could you get her on Seman,

37:49

antidepressants? Wasn't my preferred choice.

37:52

But fortunately I was able to help her get,

37:55

we got her off them like super quick. Cause I didn't agree with her anyway.

37:59

And now she takes saffron, which is way better than an antidepressant.

38:03

And not only go three to,

38:05

to help manage her mood is much better ways in which to approach

38:10

helping people through grief than perhaps just a single pill,

38:16

um, uh, can do for people. And of,

38:19

I'm not saying don't prescribe medication really important.

38:22

Oh don't yeah, no, yes. I think people understand.

38:25

It's it just shouldn't be the first choice.

38:28

Mm-hmm <affirmative> people need to think about how can we look at a blended fix

38:32

for this person that's gonna not just help them now, but help them long term.

38:36

And, and people forget about the long term issue and often the immediate help,

38:40

same with like eating ice cream might feel great in the moment,

38:44

catastrophic long term if you eat that every day. Um,

38:48

so it's really looking at helping ourselves now and later and finding the

38:53

right solution for that person, not just for the symptom.

39:00

And thank you for giving the listeners a little bit more context and,

39:03

and making sure they understand it's okay. If that is what you're,

39:08

you're supposed to be prescribed, not in the first option. And I,

39:11

your prior military is much, you know, with myself, we had that in common.

39:16

A lot of my friends, um, have came back from the military, not in good mental,

39:21

good situations. They've come back with all their limbs and stuff.

39:24

Mm-hmm <affirmative> but not good mentally mm-hmm <affirmative>.

39:27

And some of them are no longer with us even after they got out in the military.

39:32

And it's something I'm very passionate about is the wound of warrior project in

39:36

the states I give to, but people don't understand the levels of trauma

39:43

of, you know, when they go post back stress or whatever that situation might be.

39:48

And if they go to the VA or they go like, you know, veterans affairs,

39:52

they go to there to get help. They don't even have, they,

39:57

they would obviously require meds, but they can't even give 'em meds cuz obviously an insurance or whatever that

40:01

might be. And it's a long waiting list for this.

40:05

And then they seek out other ways in numb pain.

40:10

Yeah. And it is completely understandable that people seek alcohol,

40:14

which is a natural go to. Yeah.

40:17

Drugs, uh, chronic eating, you know,

40:21

the people go reach, we naturally reach for the sugar stuff. I did that.

40:25

I did this myself. I, you know, I would numb the pain from having a miscarriage and then told by the firm I had

40:29

no emotion intelligence. Right. I usually focus quantities, ice cream, um,

40:34

and drinking in the evening half a bottle of wine every pretty much every night,

40:38

which is absolutely ridiculous in the context of my long term health.

40:43

And I put on load of weight, which made me feel rubbish in myself. And then I,

40:47

you know, and it becomes this vicious cycle where, where you,

40:50

you never feel enough. So you just, you,

40:53

you keep looking for this escape from pain and,

40:55

and the escape you choose just never is enough to get and it creates more pain.

41:00

Yeah. You don't understand. Yeah. In the process and you know,

41:05

I completely understand people's needs to escape and to, you know,

41:09

to use alcohol, to, to stop your brain going crazy,

41:13

which is sometimes what it feels like it's doing that. The,

41:17

the key thing here is to pause and reflect and, and to engage,

41:23

um, already just encourage people to reach out to me. Um,

41:28

because we do detailed brain health evaluations using the Aimon clinics. Oh,

41:32

I love that methodology have linked, you know, you mentioned the,

41:36

the wounded warrior program, um, quiet explosions is a,

41:40

is a documentary that was produced in, in the context of brain injury.

41:44

We've got Dr. Mark Gordon coming on the show,

41:47

talk about neuro uh, hormones and how we can get,

41:52

uh, have changes to our hormone, uh,

41:55

regulation in our brain as a consequence of blast images.

41:59

And then you've got chronic traumatic encephalopathy,

42:02

which is in essence damage to the brain and how the neurons connect with each

42:07

other as a consequence of chronic inflammation and sometimes, uh,

42:11

micro bleeds in the brain, which can cause huge problems in people and rages and anger in all

42:18

sorts. Mm-hmm because their brain is, is massively inflamed as a result of injuries or, or,

42:24

or emotional trauma, all sorts of reasons.

42:27

And so there's ways and means in which you can regulate your neuro

42:32

hormone. So we develop hormones in our brain,

42:34

which is different to endocrinology, which is just hormone,

42:37

just the generic hormones that we create in our body. But we have a,

42:41

we have a endocrine system in our brain, which generates hormones and,

42:46

and when people experience major trauma, um,

42:49

as military personnel often do, although it's in the emergency services who.

42:54

Involved. Yeah. Yeah. I just the military. Yeah. Yeah.

42:57

And other, you know, other people, if you watch quite explosive,

43:00

it's not just about, um, blast injuries and things like that.

43:03

You can have hormonal imbalances as a consequence of, of major trauma,

43:08

including rape and so on. So, so it's,

43:11

it's really important that we don't just look at the person expressing

43:16

the symptom. Um, but we look at, we look at the detail,

43:20

the blood work, the history, the, the layers of trauma that may have happened.

43:25

Um, and don't be dismissive of often I find,

43:31

um, some medical professionals are really dismissive of,

43:35

of dips in hormones, um, count in the blood.

43:39

Oh really? Oh yeah. And it's in, it is a signal to tell you that something is wrong.

43:44

It's telling you that something is not right in the, in the system.

43:47

And so we need to explore deeper, uh,

43:50

and understand what's driving this hormone or

43:54

dysregulation. And that could be di it could, it could be a,

43:59

a blast injury. It could be, um, it could be problems in terms of,

44:04

in terms of the cerebral spinal fluid flow.

44:06

It could be all sorts of things that could be driving this, uh,

44:10

dysregulation or hormones, but you, you can't ignore it.

44:15

You can't just say, oh, no, well that's within the normal range or that that's just, okay, well just, okay,

44:20

isn't it good enough. I. Don't, no. Yeah. People wanna thrive in life, right?

44:24

<Laugh> I wanna be optimal. You know, and, and hormones drive everything.

44:29

They drive our mood, they drive our behavior, they drive,

44:32

they drive how we feel physically. They, they drive the systems in our body.

44:37

Uh, you know, there's so many, um, things that hormones are responsible for.

44:42

And so we have to really pay attention, um, to that. And, um,

44:46

coming back to your point with people who have,

44:49

who you've known in the military is often what has happened

44:54

and continues to happen to this day is people are given a pill and told to go

44:58

away. That's not good enough. You know, you need to treat the person,

45:02

the individual not treat the symptom.

45:05

And that's where medicine needs to get to is the functional medicine approach,

45:08

which is the approach we take through the academy is looking at all of you and,

45:13

and all of the indicators associated with your, with your brain function.

45:18

But we look at all of you, but through the lens of brain health,

45:21

cause that's how your that's, your brain runs everything.

45:24

I love that. Um, and I wish that there was more this for, you know,

45:29

people, you know, more accessible to people, but it is,

45:31

you just gotta know where to find it. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. And if you seek help or you're seeking, understanding,

45:37

maybe just raising your awareness. I mean, I, I feel a,

45:40

a better person and more equipped person just by working with you on some of the

45:44

things you help me with, because I have more of an understanding. And if I,

45:48

if you understand something, then you can kind of figure out how to do it.

45:51

Right. And, and this is why I love your, your approach, cuz like voice therapy,

45:56

they'll send you to a head shrink or whatever and I'll send it to someone to

46:00

talk to, but you can talk to somebody all day long,

46:02

but I still have to deal with this shit when I go home. That's how I felt about it. Mm-hmm <affirmative> with the doctor.

46:06

That's why I loved havening mm-hmm <affirmative> cause havening I'm able

46:11

to deal with what I'm feeling and not ignoring what

46:16

I can't articulate. Yeah. And, and do you know, what's great about that. And then, you know,

46:22

there's loads of different modalities, you know,

46:24

havening is one of the many modalities that people can tap into.

46:28

You got tapping as well. You yeah. Um, there's family systems,

46:32

there's all sorts of systems that you all sorts of modalities that you can tap

46:36

into that doesn't necessarily re uh,

46:39

require you to talk about your experiences.

46:43

And it's really important that

46:47

that modern medicine and modern coaching,

46:52

uh, or, or future coaching, if you,

46:55

if you will looks at the different modalities that

47:00

people need, um, in order to release trauma.

47:04

Wow. And, and we, and we get trauma gets encoded in our body in very different ways.

47:10

So we have the cognitive encoding of trauma.

47:13

We have the autonomic encoding of trauma, which is how blood, um,

47:18

how our heart rate increases in our blood pressure and,

47:21

and stretching when we have the somato sensory encoding. Yeah. Which is,

47:25

which is the sensations that ENCO get encoded as part of our, you know,

47:29

know muscle tension and all sorts of things like that.

47:31

And then we have the emotional code encoding.

47:34

So cognitive encoding might benefit from talking

47:39

autonomic, encoding, not likely somato sensory,

47:44

not likely emotional encoding, not, not so much.

47:49

And so how people, really people need to release the trauma,

47:55

uh, that has been encoded in them. And,

47:58

and often talking about it, doesn't actually release it.

48:02

It can make it worse. It makes it worse. Cause I feel like I have to explain myself.

48:07

And it's hard to talk about it. You know, when my mom, when my mom lost,

48:11

when my dad died and my mom and I witnessed it and we both had different

48:15

experiences, there was absolutely no way she could talk about it.

48:18

Cuz it's too traumatic. You don't wanna talk about it.

48:22

You just want the relief from the, the trauma that you witnessed.

48:26

You don't have to talk about it to get relief.

48:29

There's havening is a great modality to do that. But like I said, there are,

48:33

there are many others and if it doesn't work for you, I can refer you to people,

48:37

you know, different, um, uh,

48:40

therapy modalities. So it it's important that people are not just shunned into this

48:47

is the way to do it. Uh, and there's no other way that they take the time.

48:51

Cuz we are empowered. We're all empowered to take the time.

48:54

We've got the internet to look and find the right person that is going to serve

48:59

you and help you really unchain your unchain, your pain,

49:04

because you're not stuck with the pain you have. We,

49:07

you know what brains are incredibly, incredibly powerful.

49:10

You can change your memories. You can change how you want to recall your memories. You,

49:16

you have the power to do all of that. You, you can rewire your brain. Um,

49:21

if, if, if you choose to, but people need to be equipped with the right tools to, to know how they,

49:27

how they can do that. And one of the things I love about, you know, with what you do and, and I,

49:33

I love that you said, you know, find a right person. It can help you, you know,

49:37

finding that right person. It can help you. There is.

49:40

If you're looking for the wrong things in life, though, all the wrong things will show up. Okay. You'll probably,

49:46

I'm perfect example of this. Okay. You're looking a lot,

49:48

the right things in life. You'll find it,

49:52

make it a non-negotiable for yourself.

49:55

You deserve the right to be at optimal brain health.

49:59

You deserve wouldn't.

50:02

You like to be able to know what it feels like to operate at a very high level

50:06

in understanding now, even understanding what you're feeling and understanding what the other

50:12

person's feeling. And if they don't know how to articulate,

50:15

you can help them articulate what they really mean.

50:18

And now you don't have this anger and frustration there to, you know,

50:23

I've really dealt with a lot of situations, especially in business.

50:26

And people say we have a high, a very high emotional intelligence,

50:29

even before they know how to coin it. I just know how to read energy.

50:31

Something's not working here. <laugh> you know, so we're having a massive issue,

50:36

but you can, if you're high of a high emotional charge and you have a hard and they're

50:41

pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing, I'm like, listen, bro,

50:44

you can give off of so many warnings you want to give off,

50:47

but if you're not verbal or stern with your approach,

50:50

then you're gonna have another issue. You can't match a battering Ram with another Ram. Yeah. You, you know,

50:56

everybody calmed down for a second and let's figure out what's going on and that

50:59

raising your awareness. Yeah. And I love that.

51:02

You know, and I love that. You said that because you know, when you go into conversations with people and you know,

51:07

something's off often,

51:10

it's not the conversation that informs you. Something's off mm-hmm,

51:14

it's. Not as nonverbal cues. Yeah. It's the nonverbal. And, and,

51:19

and we forget to think about the nonverbal cues of people with trauma.

51:23

So you, we need to pay more attention to each other,

51:29

to, to appreciate how trauma is written into our body.

51:35

Uh, nonverbally. So a classic example,

51:39

often I see this when people with Haing in my mum was super example

51:44

is when we are traumatized in its extreme trauma,

51:48

it gets encoded in our face. Oh.

51:50

Yeah. Do. Our muscles tense up. You think? Right. You're very fast thinker.

51:54

So a lot of people that think that a very different wavelength, we,

51:58

all our expressions are in our face. Yeah. All of them. And you might get,

52:02

you might be a two minute conversation. You might seen all of my expressions.

52:05

<Laugh> yeah. Yeah. But when people have it encoded, you know,

52:08

that tense space mm-hmm, <affirmative> when they go through havening, as my mom,

52:13

mum did. And you obviously experience it yourself is you can see the

52:19

tension come off. That person's face when they've had a release. So my,

52:23

my mom looked 10 years younger when, when she was able to Haven the,

52:28

the tumor associated with that experience. And,

52:30

and I now have the cure is that I can look at my mom's face and say,

52:34

mom is everything okay? Mm-hmm,

52:36

<affirmative> be because she will have it written on her face.

52:39

She doesn't have to tell me that she's not okay. I can see that she's not. Okay.

52:45

So it's important, you know, from a cultural perspective, um,

52:50

that we spend more time mm-hmm, <affirmative> connecting with people,

52:55

um, and using the five pillars, feelings, actions, connections, thoughts,

52:59

and surroundings to, to take the time,

53:02

to understand how people are really feeling. Um, and,

53:07

and to not ask the question, are you okay? Right. Which is okay,

53:11

which is an okay question. But ultimately their finger gets pointed on you.

53:16

And so you immediately push back. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. The answer.

53:21

Um, but is everything okay? Because then people look outward,

53:26

oh, what's bothering, you know, if they've got the Capac mental capacity to you start no, you know,

53:32

well this is happening and that's happening and this,

53:34

and then you start getting the, the shopping list of micro traumas that are affecting how that person is

53:41

performing. And so it's taking,

53:44

it's how we use language as well is really important. Um,

53:48

in the context of helping people. Right? One of the things that I learned

53:54

through some really deep,

53:59

really deep work internal work of myself is mm-hmm,

54:03

<affirmative> picking up some of the things that my parents would say to

54:07

deminimize my feelings. Mm-hmm <affirmative>.

54:10

Or my dad walk in a room and like, what's wrong with you?

54:13

There's nothing wrong with me. Right. Or nothing wrong, or,

54:18

oh, he's, he's upset because of this.

54:20

And they like to project what they think I'm feeling.

54:24

Yeah. Yeah. And that infuriates me, and there's a trigger. They would infu.

54:31

I'm like, how are you gonna tell me how I feel? Yeah. I'm a kid like teenager.

54:35

Right. How are you gonna tell me how I feel?

54:39

I'm the only person that knows how I feel. Right.

54:41

Rather than asking. Right. Don't.

54:44

Is everything okay? How are you feeling? Like.

54:47

Not what's wrong with you? Like, you know,

54:49

so there's certain things that trigger me and those,

54:54

and just by, I'm gonna say coaching, but communicating,

54:58

those are some triggers for me. Yeah.

55:01

At 41 years old. Now me having a conver I've learned how to minimize 90% of my

55:07

frustration when I'm around my parents.

55:10

Yeah. Just by sharing with them. These are some of the things that I don't,

55:15

I don't like to be taught to this way. Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard, isn't it?

55:19

Cuz you don't realize that script unless you take the time to do the deep work.

55:24

Like you said, you, you don't realize that script is running in the background.

55:29

Same play over and over and over. And it's gonna trigger you and it doesn't need to be your parents that trigger

55:35

you. If yeah. Just give an example workplace or somebody in the street that,

55:40

that will say something to you that your parents may have said to you.

55:43

On site. Yeah.

55:45

There are certain people that walk into like this, his face just irritates me.

55:49

You know what I mean? Like so. Yeah, no I, you know, and it, and I think this is, you know, how people flip,

55:56

sometimes people just suddenly flip because they've had so many of these

56:00

experiences that have stack stack, stack, stack, you know, trauma stacks.

56:04

Yes. Okay. Like. Having too.

56:07

Yeah. And, and at some point it could be anything, um,

56:12

will trip somebody and they think it's the person

56:16

that has tripped them. But actually the lid is just blown off because of all of these layers of drama

56:23

from the past that have been going unaddressed and the leg could blow off in a,

56:28

you know, uh, often it expresses itself in a rage mm-hmm <affirmative> if,

56:34

if people are lucky enough to express outwardly or it

56:38

expresses itself internally where the body keeps score and expresses

56:43

itself in terms of disease. Mm. Um,

56:46

so there's lots of evidence now that, uh, chronic diseases,

56:50

including rheumatoid arthritis, uh,

56:53

and cancer and so on is a result of suppress.

56:58

Suppress emotions. Yeah. God, I wish I can go.

57:00

I can go on for hours with you and I'm be conscious of a time <laugh> this is

57:04

cause you know, I swear we should end up doing our own show <laugh> um,

57:08

but there's so much there and I want the listeners to really understand

57:12

something here. And you know, when she's talking about there,

57:14

I'm I know a lot of people out there can really relate to this is you've ever

57:19

been around somebody just snaps or been around somebody just like it means they

57:22

can't internalize anything anymore. They they've hit their breaking point.

57:26

But if they're aware of how their brain functions and some of their,

57:30

their principles of what you talked about and those core values and those

57:34

pillars, then you can at least start peeling back that,

57:37

that onion and those layers and going, okay,

57:40

this is what I need to put in my life. This is the kind of conversation.

57:44

And then, then you don't have these type of issues. Yeah.

57:47

And then on. The become less. Yeah. We have less, I mean, obviously well less with emotional charge. Yeah.

57:53

Yeah. Because what you don't deal, what you don't deal with will find you.

57:56

I talked about this a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And, and that, it came to me when,

58:01

at the worst time, you know yeah. Where I was like, I have all this baggage,

58:05

I don't have anything, any more room underneath this rug, you know what I mean?

58:09

It's gotta come out. So, but then even you looked at,

58:12

if you actually go back and play the video, when I did havening with you,

58:15

I'm like 70 pounds lighter. And I look completely different. Yeah. Yeah.

58:19

Great diet. But a lot of that I was holding onto and so mad at markers,

58:23

a lot of stuff that I was struggling with, you know? Yeah. You don't really,

58:27

you don't, until you start working on yourself,

58:29

you don't realize how much you need to need to realign, you know?

58:34

Yeah, yeah. For, so I highly suggest anybody listening to this, go to you,

58:38

find Dr. Ruth for watching components.

58:40

Who's been streaming go to the show notes, get the links, reach out to Dr. Ruth.

58:45

And she will at least point you in the right direction if she can't help you

58:49

personally. Yeah. Thank you, Chris. Yeah. You're welcome. So do reach out, you know,

58:52

I'm always here, you can connect on my website, um, get a free consultation,

58:58

um, or just drop me a note things you're concerned about.

59:00

Right. And even if, even if you don't have anything that you want to

59:06

address or, I mean, it's just good to get the information I would. I mean,

59:10

that's what I would do. Just request a consultation call just to even open up the opportunity

59:16

to you tapping into optimal brain health. So anyways, piece out much love guys.

59:20

Y'all take care. Don't do anything I would do. <laugh> be safe.

59:24

Peace out, Dr. Ruth. Thank you so much. Kiss that beautiful baby for me.

59:27

When you get there, I will always, always take care guys. Peace out.