“After like looking in the mirror saying like wow I fucking like hate myself right now…as I got more upset and as time progressed I would go deeper deeper deeper.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Editor: Nigel Coutinho

Episode Summary: Heading to college as a star athlete from a protective family, a man’s perfectionism and drive for self-control leads to a downward spiral.

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Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com

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Content/Trigger Warnings: explicit language

Intro Music: ""Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho

Outro Music: "The Moon is Down" - El Diablo & Adam Schraft (Rojo y Negro) @eldiablosf @rojo-y-negro www.eldiablobass.com/

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741