0:02

You are listening to . This Is Some

0:04

Crazy Shit . With Sharon Hamner

0:06

. This podcast is for you if

0:08

you are tired of living day to day

0:10

feeling unfulfilled , you

0:13

are frustrated and you are doing

0:15

too much with no return . This

0:17

is for you if you are ready to take

0:19

charge of your life , if you are ready

0:22

to let go of managing other people's insecurities

0:24

and their expectations and

0:26

live life your way . Here

0:29

we have dope conversations about saving

0:31

yourself , so we can get off these street

0:33

corners and stop waiting for Captain Saviour

0:35

Ho . You ready ? Let's go

0:38

, because this is some crazy shit . So

0:42

I'm going to tell you something that

0:44

a lot of people don't

0:47

know about me , and it is

0:50

something that

0:53

was meant to

0:55

be derogatory

0:58

, and it's

1:00

one of the things that I'm so proud

1:02

of myself for

1:04

being , and that is

1:07

selfish , being

1:09

selfish , and

1:11

I want to encourage you to be

1:14

selfish . Growing

1:17

up , I got

1:19

that label of being selfish

1:22

because

1:26

people would ask me for

1:28

certain things that I

1:30

was wearing . I had one aunt

1:32

. She was always into

1:34

the jury that I wore . I

1:37

had another aunt and

1:39

a cousin who loved

1:41

the bags that I would carry

1:43

and they would always ask

1:46

me for them , to the point

1:48

where my one

1:51

cousin she would volunteer

1:53

to give me a plastic

1:55

grocery bag for me

1:58

to put the contents of

2:00

my purse in , so that she can have my

2:02

purse . And she

2:04

was really serious and I'm like , no

2:06

, I'm not giving you my purse . I didn't want

2:08

to give up my earrings because those

2:10

were things that I loved

2:13

and I enjoyed . Other

2:16

times that I have been labeled selfish

2:19

is if

2:21

I came home

2:23

for a visit and somebody

2:25

wanted their hair done and

2:28

I'm like , no , well

2:31

, that's just selfish , why wouldn't you do

2:33

that ? And I'm thinking like , well , I'm on vacation

2:36

. But it really bothered

2:38

me that I

2:40

was called selfish and I thought

2:42

that it was something that I

2:45

really needed to change

2:47

. And I

2:49

have realized that a

2:52

lot of my superpowers are

2:54

things that people

2:57

would say that are negative

3:00

about me , but

3:02

being selfish is one of them . I

3:05

feel like being selfish is

3:07

what helped me to

3:09

go get

3:12

help with my mental health

3:15

. Being selfish

3:18

was something

3:21

that helped

3:23

me to get the business

3:25

that I have . It's because

3:28

it was something that I wanted

3:30

and I went after

3:32

it . When I was diagnosed

3:35

with depression , nobody

3:39

in my family even knew that

3:41

I was going

3:44

that day to check myself into

3:46

a mental health institute . I

3:48

told them afterwards and

3:51

everyone was shocked and surprised

3:53

that one

3:55

. They didn't even realize that I

3:57

was that far gone into

4:00

not feeling good about

4:02

myself and to

4:05

that I was in a mental

4:08

health institution

4:10

and

4:13

being selfish , taking

4:16

care of myself , seeing myself first

4:18

, putting myself first , was one of the

4:20

best things that I've

4:23

ever done in my life

4:25

, and I want to encourage you to

4:27

look at areas of

4:30

your life where you

4:32

have been denying

4:36

yourself , when you have

4:38

been doing

4:40

things because it seems

4:43

like it's beneficial

4:46

for you to do

4:48

it for somebody else but you really don't wanna

4:50

do it . And then on the back

4:52

end , when you do it , you're

4:55

mad at yourself because you

4:57

really didn't wanna do it . It's

5:00

okay . Just acknowledge

5:03

that . If

5:05

you don't wanna do it , say

5:07

no . Acknowledge yourself

5:10

in the beginning , say no . I

5:13

get so frustrated

5:15

with myself when I go against myself

5:18

and do things where

5:20

in the beginning you know was

5:22

a red flag . You know that

5:25

you were gonna be mad at yourself for

5:28

taking on that project , for

5:30

staying late at work because

5:33

somebody else didn't

5:35

plan accordingly for their schedule

5:37

, and now you're running late

5:40

to something that you needed to be to . And

5:43

it's okay if you

5:45

see that in the beginning and

5:48

you preserve yourself

5:50

first and say

5:52

no . So being selfish is

5:55

a game changer into

5:58

helping you set boundaries

6:01

for your life and

6:03

not being the sacrificial

6:06

lamb and being upset

6:09

with yourself Because

6:11

, in the end , like , nobody

6:14

is really gonna like

6:16

if you do something for someone else and

6:19

you're mad and upset about it , you're

6:22

gonna carry that on for

6:25

a long time , until

6:27

the next time you see that person and you might be

6:29

angry and upset and that

6:31

person has moved on with their life

6:33

because it hasn't

6:35

affected them . And

6:38

we are holding on to too many things

6:41

within ourselves

6:44

our health , our

6:46

bodies and just carrying

6:49

on so much stuff Because

6:52

we were afraid to

6:54

put ourselves first and put ourselves

6:56

at the front of the

6:58

line and

7:01

that stops now . That stops

7:03

now . That stops . Today

7:05

, make a decision

7:07

that putting yourself first is

7:10

a priority and being

7:12

selfish is where is

7:14

that ? So make that

7:16

list of boundaries , of

7:19

what are the type

7:21

of Hours

7:23

that you want to work , what are the hours

7:25

that you feel like

7:28

are good for you to spend talking

7:31

on the phone , what are

7:33

the events that

7:36

you enjoy doing

7:38

and going to , and

7:40

make those a priority Over

7:43

other events . The one

7:45

thing that I really , really , really loved

7:48

about the pandemic Was

7:50

that everybody got to say

7:53

no to being

7:55

at family events and family

7:57

functions that they've

8:00

hated going to over

8:02

the years , and we had the excuse

8:05

of the pandemic to

8:07

use . And I

8:10

wonder how many people nowadays

8:13

are going to those events just

8:16

because it's

8:19

Christmas , is Thanksgiving

8:21

, when deep inside

8:24

, you really don't want to do those things

8:26

. And I'm here to tell you that

8:28

it's okay . You don't need the

8:30

excuse of a pandemic . You

8:33

have the excuse of taking

8:35

care of yourself To use

8:37

because you just don't want to

8:39

do that . And it's okay , because

8:41

a lot of times , we put ourselves

8:44

into situations

8:46

where we are Surrounded

8:49

by family members who

8:51

have abused us , family

8:54

members who have traumatized

8:56

us , and we're just going

8:58

with the flow just to make everybody

9:00

else happy , and that's not

9:03

okay . It's not okay , and

9:06

you

9:08

have to take care of yourself . You

9:12

always have to take care of yourself

9:15

. So I'm going to encourage you to

9:17

say no and

9:19

set some boundaries . Another

9:23

way that you can be selfish is

9:25

Go out

9:27

by yourself and

9:29

Take yourself out on a

9:32

date by yourself . Don't

9:34

invite anybody else , don't

9:36

tell anybody else you're going and order

9:39

Whatever it is that

9:41

you want and really begin

9:43

to develop a relationship with

9:47

with yourself . Buy

9:49

yourself something nice for

9:51

this date and and

9:54

treat yourself golden

9:56

. Take

9:58

a vacation . Take yourself on a vacation

10:00

. When was the last time

10:02

you went somewhere

10:05

and During

10:07

the vacation , you were able

10:09

to do everything that you wanted

10:11

to do , versus

10:13

what the group said that they wanted

10:16

to do ? I

10:19

know I've been in past situations

10:21

where I just kind

10:23

of go with the flow , with what the group says they

10:25

want to do and not

10:27

Speak up for myself

10:29

, and then I feel frustrated because

10:32

I wasted my time doing something that

10:34

I got nothing from , and I

10:37

Think

10:39

that it's important to make

10:42

yourself feel good and

10:45

everything that you do

10:48

, so be selfish . Find

10:52

something today to be selfish about

10:54

. Hey , sis , you

10:56

have been listening to . This is some crazy

10:58

shit . I am Charon Hamner

11:01

. Make sure you like and subscribe

11:03

to hear more dope conversations

11:05

on this podcast . You can

11:07

check me out on my website at WW

11:10

dot , charon hamner

11:12

, comm or all of my

11:14

social media platforms . I

11:16

look forward to seeing you in these social media

11:18

streets . You .