0:00

Having that beer and pizza with your mates

0:02

is really good for your health . We're tribal . We

0:04

need authentic human connection . Yes

0:07

, is alcohol bad for your brain ? 100%

0:09

. But when you weigh it up , the gain

0:12

is far , far higher

0:14

from hanging out with your friends than a couple of beers

0:16

with your mates . The best selling author

0:19

, award-winning podcast , transformative

0:22

purpose .

0:25

Hey guys , first off , welcome

0:27

to this brand new episode on Transformative

0:29

Purpose Podcast . There are a lot of

0:31

experts in this room who are helping us to put

0:33

this episode together , and I want to extend

0:36

my thank you to them . Now you hear

0:38

me talk about this all the time help is wealth

0:40

. Most of us , when we are young , we

0:42

use our health to buy wealth . When

0:44

we get older , we use wealth to

0:46

buy health . Now , the conversation that

0:48

we are about to have today is going to challenge

0:51

this , hopefully , and help you

0:53

get better health And with a better

0:55

mind , better body , we can make better

0:57

conscious decisions , which leads to

1:00

a better life . Now let me

1:02

introduce the speaker today . Joining me today is

1:04

Andrew Cox . Andrew is a

1:06

director and co-owner of Joint

1:08

Dynamics , hong Kong's first

1:10

combined studio featuring BCO

1:12

therapy , massage therapy and

1:15

personal training . Andrew

1:17

is also the podcast host of Joint

1:19

Dynamics , an educational podcast

1:22

where interviews inspiring

1:24

people from physical therapists

1:26

, osteopaths , personal

1:28

trainers , strain coaches , exercise

1:31

physiologists , nutritionists

1:34

, doctors across a range

1:36

of health-related topics . Andrew

1:38

, welcome .

1:39

Great to be here , mate . And you left out Aaron

1:42

Pang . On that , Andrew , who Andrew interviews

1:44

on his podcast .

1:45

We did have a conversation a few weeks ago right . It was fantastic

1:48

. How long did we talk for ?

1:50

I think time we lost track

1:52

of time , but I want to say an hour and a half , Aaron

1:54

, And then we probably went on

1:56

for about 20 minutes once I stopped as

1:59

well . So it was a great conversation

2:01

. I was really fortunate .

2:02

I love it . Thank you so much for coming on to the show . Hey

2:04

, i'm going to kick off this conversation with a question

2:07

from someone that you recommended to me , nima

2:10

King , and if you guys haven't watched this episode , i strongly

2:12

recommend it . Please check it out

2:14

. So Nima wanted to ask you

2:16

. Obviously , he didn't know who was going

2:18

to ask And this is what he said

2:20

. Given the situation that we're in today the

2:22

kids , high anxiety , depression

2:25

, high suicide rate , social media-related

2:27

issues what is a path

2:29

human species should take ? What

2:32

should we focus more on education , school

2:35

and at home , and what can parents

2:37

do at home ? What should be the priorities ?

2:41

Well , thanks , nima , there's a lot in that . We're diving

2:43

straight in . Actually , what a great

2:45

and pertinent question from a

2:47

great bloke , so fair enough that the question

2:50

is path for the person that he is . I'm

2:53

not sure if I'm up to it . That's what I'm going to

2:55

do , my best I'm going to thank you , nima . I'll say things

2:57

. Gosh

2:59

mate , there's a lot in that . I guess I'll start

3:01

with what I heard last and then

3:04

maybe I can unpick my way back through the question

3:06

. Parenting

3:08

is a great question And

3:10

as a parent and you're a parent as well , and lots

3:13

of parents out there , and the question

3:15

is targeted at kids We

3:18

all have so much influence over our

3:20

children and it seems to my children now 14

3:23

and 13 , my daughter's nearly 15 . As

3:25

your child gets older , i

3:29

wonder if the influence we have , if it , diminishes

3:31

as you start to compete with peers

3:34

and as you compete with , to be honest , social

3:36

media , all the layers

3:38

of information that they're receiving

3:41

each day . But

3:43

starting with parenting , i guess for

3:46

me and then the world , according to Andrew , what I try

3:48

to do , the bloke that I try to be with my

3:50

kids , i try

3:52

to walk my talk as much as possible , so

3:54

it seems almost

3:56

rudimentary , but when I walk

3:59

home , a lot of times , you

4:01

know , during dynamics , as you mentioned , we have all these things

4:03

which I play big part in . I still see clients

4:06

regularly and I still run the business

4:08

and I'm still trying to build the business . I'm out there hustling

4:10

, i've got the podcast , so

4:12

I have a lot of variation , which I

4:14

love . Some days , though , i don't

4:16

get a lot of time to look at emails

4:18

and messages , so I'll

4:21

be walking home and I'll be answering emails

4:23

and almost planning for certain things the next

4:25

day . But what I've found is a good habit

4:27

for me to do . When I get to my front

4:30

door at home and sometimes I'm literally

4:32

quote unquote in the office I'm walking along typing

4:34

on my phone . Sorry for all those

4:36

people that I've bumped into , by the way , but

4:40

I'll get home and I'm still not finished

4:42

. And there was a couple of times when I walked

4:44

in the door and I would still be on my phone

4:46

and I wouldn't engage in a way that a father

4:49

should engage with his children . I wouldn't

4:51

engage with my wife as a way that a

4:53

husband should engage with his wife when he walks in the door

4:55

. So what I do now and I'm pretty good

4:57

at it , in the sense of I stay

4:59

to this habit that I've formed . Sometimes

5:02

I stay at the front door and I'll finish

5:04

what I'm doing . It might be three to five

5:06

minutes , but I figure that's a better use of my

5:08

time than walking in the door and being distracted

5:11

. And so , in that

5:13

regards , i try and

5:15

I think it's a good idea to try to

5:17

walk out talk , because I know the amount of times

5:19

that I say to my kids get off the device

5:22

and talk to me properly , look me in the eyes

5:24

when you talk to me or when you talk to someone

5:26

else , communicate with me authentically . Just

5:28

for a moment you can go back to what you're doing . So

5:30

I try to walk my

5:32

talk as much as I can , and I would say my success

5:34

rate is pretty high . So

5:37

I would think that the first part

5:39

to that answer is almost it was a Gandhi

5:41

be the change . Be the change you want

5:43

in your children . Or and

5:45

actually I think it was you that said this to me

5:47

use your children as a mirror if

5:49

they're behaving in a certain way . Well , question

5:52

why are they behaving that way and what was

5:54

my role in their behavior ? Well , i believe that was

5:57

you , so thank you . Isn't it great

5:59

how information goes around ? So

6:02

I'd say that . And do you know , going

6:04

back to the depths of the question

6:07

, when you talk about anxiety and suicide

6:09

, you know my kids . You

6:12

know my son is now

6:14

13 and my daughter turns 15 , as

6:17

we're speaking now , it's June . She turns 15

6:19

in July . So you know , they're 20

6:21

months apart . They're teenagers and my

6:24

boy's getting that surge of

6:26

testosterone and so he's starting to

6:28

work out the boundaries of manhood

6:31

and all that sort of stuff . My daughter's 15 , she's doing

6:33

the same from a female perspective . But they

6:35

have mentioned suicide and that

6:37

they've mentioned it from children

6:40

at their school who have contemplated

6:42

that . So it's come up . It's not as if they're doing

6:44

immune to this conversation . And you

6:47

know , i gotta say , aaron

6:49

, i grew up in a small-ish country

6:52

town in Australia , tamworth in Australia , country

6:54

music capital , no less and there's

6:56

great things and bad things about that . I

6:59

don't know many of the bad because that's such a great childhood

7:01

, but the great things about that

7:03

I was shielded from a

7:05

lot like I don't even know if I was exposed

7:07

to suicide until maybe I was 18

7:09

, whereas my kids have been exposed to that at a really young

7:11

age and obviously

7:13

you feel for the child or

7:16

children that have brought

7:18

that up to my child , and then I feel for my kids

7:20

because , yeah , it's hard navigating

7:22

. You know , teenagehood as

7:24

it is by itself , that was difficult

7:26

enough for you and me , i'm sure , with

7:29

the influences we had . But now you throw

7:32

into our kids , ah

7:34

, so many voices . You know social media

7:36

is amazing but it's an amplifier

7:38

, it seems , of everything that is good and everything that is

7:40

bad and according

7:43

to the algorithms , if you go one way then you'll

7:45

probably get more of that one way . So it's difficult

7:48

for our children to navigate that . So you throw

7:50

in anxiety , which is really very

7:52

real not saying it wasn't when I was a kid

7:54

, but nobody

7:56

was listening , i think , and I don't even

7:59

know if that's a good or a bad thing . You know it was almost

8:01

like we just get on with it . You know the typical

8:03

and please don't take this as

8:06

good advice but the typical advice , you

8:09

know , when I was a kid was well , i'm

8:11

almost ashamed to say , take a spoonful of cement and

8:13

harden up like it's almost

8:15

a joke . But yeah , yeah , yeah , and

8:17

maybe there's a place for that , but I , but I

8:19

, it's so hard when you're talking about

8:21

the topic that we're on . I'm

8:24

scooting around the question that part I understand

8:26

.

8:26

So I want to ask you a follow up question . so it

8:28

sounds . It sounded like you'd never had any

8:30

suicidal thought when you were young . Right , i didn't

8:32

. I honestly never did So when your kids mentioned

8:34

those things to you first of all . How did

8:37

that make you feel and

8:39

how did you handle those ?

8:40

Yeah . So my heart sunk

8:42

a little bit because it's you

8:44

know , you want to keep your children in this

8:46

cocoon , even as naive as that sounds . So

8:49

when my kids did say , first

8:51

it was surprised because they were so young and

8:54

it was it wasn't as if it was a long time ago , it was

8:56

recently , it was within this year , within

8:58

2023 . So first

9:00

my heart sunk and then curiosity came

9:03

. I wanted to understand how it come

9:05

up . And then I wanted to understand how did you

9:07

react to that ? and so my

9:09

heart sunk and then I wanted

9:12

to to to communicate with

9:14

them to get an understanding that they're

9:16

doing okay . You know , and you

9:18

know , anxiety is very real and pressures

9:20

at school are very real and friendships

9:23

are very real . So with that comes

9:25

a level of anxiety . So

9:27

, as you mentioned , honestly , i

9:29

never had that thought , thank

9:31

God , and whether or not I was

9:33

just born that way or just

9:36

wasn't ever put in a position

9:38

where I thought that way , so , but I

9:40

know that my kids are exposed to that and

9:43

how I handle that is just through curiosity . To

9:45

be honest , the main thing I want

9:47

with my children is to maintain a dialogue

9:50

. So if they're going to drink alcohol

9:52

, i want them to know that they can come to me . If they're

9:54

going to try one of those bloody

9:56

vapes that have targeted

9:59

at kids , because the cookies and cream flavor

10:01

damn you people for doing that then

10:03

I want them to know that they can come to me and

10:06

I'm going to be disappointed , but

10:08

I want them to know that they can tell me anything . So

10:11

how will I handle that ? or , however

10:13

, i handle that with genuine curiosity

10:15

.

10:16

Yeah , could you give us some

10:18

examples ? You mentioned about

10:20

just not walking through that door

10:23

and just finishing your work and

10:25

just be present at home . Right , that's how

10:27

I guess you created an authentic relationship

10:29

with your kids . But that

10:32

curiosity part how does someone become

10:34

, or how does someone be , a curious

10:36

parent ? What would the dialogue

10:38

look like ?

10:39

All right , yeah , i do it every day . I literally

10:42

say how was your day at school And how

10:44

was school ? And the

10:47

answer from your kids is good . But

10:49

then I just I scratch a little more . Okay

10:51

, what subjects did you have Science

10:53

? Okay , what are you doing in science ? Because some

10:56

things I'm really interested in . What are you doing in

10:58

science ? Oh , biology , how cool is that ? What

11:00

part of biology are you doing ? So I just

11:03

let my curiosity take

11:05

me there and if I'm not curious , i

11:07

just find something . So inquiry

11:11

is really that . That's my . I

11:13

am naturally curious , and they're your kids

11:16

, so it's not hard to be curious . But when

11:18

they give me the flippant answer , i just don't accept

11:21

that And I don't accept it . Some

11:23

days I'll say to my kids come

11:25

on , you can try harder than that , come on , i've

11:27

been at work all day . I didn't get to see before

11:29

I left . Today I want to hang out . Yeah

11:32

, really , tell me about how does it take

11:34

? you And then they come around

11:36

because I'm in imminsescent , to be honest

11:39

, i'll wear them down , i'll

11:41

wear them down And then

11:43

you know I have an

11:45

easy relationship . My kids

11:48

are quite athletic and sporty . That

11:50

was my whole life , you know . So I

11:52

have , i have , points where we can connect

11:55

. We have two little dogs , so sometimes it's

11:57

the dogs . My daughter , you know

11:59

, she's at that age where she'll want to go into a room

12:01

and she'll spend a bit of time in the room , wants

12:03

some privacy , which is understandable . She's that age

12:06

. But sometimes I'll go in . I always

12:08

knock and then I'll go in . I'll just lay

12:10

on the bed while she's doing something

12:13

whatever . Sometimes she's , you

12:15

know , studying or whatever that she's

12:17

doing in her 14 year old world . I

12:19

just penetrate that world and

12:22

lay on her bed and just sometimes

12:24

she doesn't want to talk And that's cool And I just stay there though

12:26

I just , i

12:29

just want her to know that I'm there . Yesterday he's

12:31

a , he's a actual story . Yesterday

12:33

she went for a run . My little girl , she's not little . Sorry

12:35

, she tells me not to call her little . My

12:38

daughter went for a run . Anyway

12:41

, we live on Kennedy Road . She wound up

12:43

at the Dorset at Causeway

12:45

Bay . She had 2% left on her phone

12:47

. She called me . She said , dad , i

12:49

went for a run , i sort of got lost , and now

12:51

I'm at the Dorset , can you send a cab to

12:53

get me home ? And I was like , oh , okay . And she

12:55

said , oh wait , my phone's going to die . And I was like , well

12:58

, how are we going to work this ? So she

13:00

went , okay , i'll just go home . And

13:02

then she was going to run home , so I

13:05

ran home , and then I figured she was

13:07

coming from the Dorset to Kennedy Road

13:09

, so I went , went home and

13:11

I jumped in cam , went to , jumped on the

13:13

bus actually , and went down to Hopewell

13:15

Center where I just saw her

13:18

, and then we hung out , and then we walked

13:20

home together , she and then we

13:22

just had this glorious

13:25

20 minute walk together where she just

13:27

unloaded her day with

13:29

me . And you know , again

13:32

, as every parent , i

13:35

got home and I thought , oh

13:38

man , i'd love to go in . And you know

13:40

, just take , i had a long day , but

13:42

I went . No , that wouldn't be the

13:44

best thing to do . And you know , when I what's

13:46

more important , me sitting on my bar and just having a rest

13:48

, or maybe having a drink or something to eat or no

13:50

. What's more important at the moment is I go and get

13:54

my little girl , get my daughter sorry , again get

13:56

my daughter and then just walk home and have a chat So

13:58

that was one

14:01

example And then again just exercising

14:03

that curiosity . Curiosity works for me

14:05

. Honestly , i just I

14:07

won't take no for an answer , not in an angry parenthood

14:10

way , not saying that I haven't sometimes Yeah , but yeah

14:12

. So yeah , okay , you know . I'm not going to

14:14

be a parent , but

14:19

you , you went

14:21

backpacking when you were 23, .

14:23

Right , and you went 24 , 24 , 24

14:26

took off . So you , you took off with a surfboard

14:29

, you left home and

14:31

you stay overseas for three years , just about Yeah

14:33

. Yeah , just how did you tell your parents ?

14:36

Do you know it wasn't planned . I

14:38

did have a one way ticket out to buy

14:41

a , and that wasn't planned . A one way ticket . The

14:43

one way ticket was . Was

14:45

it ? I had the one way ticket out , i just didn't know how

14:47

long I was going to be , so

14:49

but why ? why ?

14:51

with a surfboard . Why at age

14:53

24 ?

14:54

Great , that's a great question . So

14:57

I grew up in that country , on Tamworth , i moved down to

14:59

a bigger , bigger town called Newcastle , which

15:01

was amazing , played sport down there , played

15:03

some rugby league , which was great . And

15:06

then one of my mates actually

15:08

Sharpo , how you going , mate ? One of my best mates said

15:10

, hey , do you want to go overseas ? And actually

15:13

we're sort of just going to go overseas for the off season , the rugby

15:15

league season , and I went , yep , okay

15:17

. And then he went , i'm going to get a job

15:20

in the mines to save money to go . And

15:22

I just stayed living in Newcastle . As the

15:24

world turned out , he ended up not coming with

15:26

me , so I went by myself , left

15:28

in April , went via Bali

15:30

and a bit of Indonesia , went surfing , and then I went

15:32

to London and then just found my

15:34

way around the world for the next three years , two

15:37

years and 10 months actually , but

15:39

I didn't have the intention of

15:41

staying away that long , but just when

15:44

I was away , the world is such an

15:46

amazing place . So I

15:48

went to the

15:50

Middle East and Southern

15:52

Africa and South America and all

15:54

through Europe and into Estonia

15:58

and met an Australian bloke

16:00

from Calguli who ran a pub in

16:02

the capital city of Estonia called Talan

16:04

. Like , i just met amazing

16:07

people along the way and developed

16:10

a trust and a belief in the road

16:13

and the people that I met along the road

16:15

. So I just was open

16:17

to new adventures . Sometimes I was with mates from

16:19

home and then sometimes I was

16:21

by myself . But you know

16:23

, when you're traveling as a 24 , 25

16:26

, 26 year old , you're only alone

16:28

when you want to be , and I was alone when

16:30

I wanted to be and I was with people when I wanted to be

16:33

. It was a great education to me . I didn't do

16:35

university . My life revolved

16:37

around playing

16:40

sport a lot and hanging out

16:42

a lot . I didn't do university . I was always

16:44

a curious kid So I figured

16:46

that was maybe without planning

16:49

. That was my real education , yeah

16:51

.

16:51

How was that curiosity passed on

16:53

to you ? What did you pick

16:55

up this skill ? Is

16:58

that from your parents ? Like that's

17:01

a good You mentioned

17:03

you're really into curiosity and suddenly

17:05

, like whatever dialogues that you were in with

17:07

your children , you tried to like

17:09

unpill the different layers , right

17:11

? Well , i was just wondering where did you

17:13

get that from ?

17:14

You know that's that's makes me reflect

17:16

. This is great . I just love these conversations

17:18

. My sister's eight , nine

17:20

years older than me and

17:22

so growing up they'd

17:24

have their friends over and you know I'd be a

17:27

I'd be a ten-year-old and playing

17:29

Trigal Pursuit with my sisters

17:32

and you know I just remember thinking how amazing

17:34

my sisters are and they were great to

17:36

me , like I had three mums my real mum , obviously

17:38

, and my two sisters really looked after me

17:40

, being eight and nine years older than me . So I was really

17:43

blessed in that way . And You

17:46

know my family we had dinner at the

17:49

table as a family just

17:51

about every night . Small country town

17:53

, not many people leave , so you know , of

17:55

the 365 days

17:57

a year , 90%

18:01

of those were spent as a family around the , around the dinner

18:03

table . So , and Sometimes

18:05

my sisters would have their , their boyfriends

18:07

or their friends . So it was a place

18:10

like , like you and I sitting now There was a place and

18:12

conversation .

18:13

Around this whole fire part , right , yeah , yeah

18:15

, well , actually this was about the size of my dinner

18:18

table .

18:18

My mum was here , my dad was there and then I was

18:20

. I Was up there with beside my dad and

18:22

my sister and my sister and whoever , and

18:25

that's where conversations happen right . Yeah , yeah

18:27

, and you know in that question that you asked

18:29

me , i think , because first thing I thought

18:31

of was sitting out

18:33

our backyard With my sisters playing

18:36

Trigal Pursuit , or there was this other game

18:38

that they played . We asked

18:40

scenarios , i can't remember what it was , so

18:43

I was playing with that and I just think that

18:45

was where curiosity was born . And then at 15

18:47

He's another memory that was very strong at

18:50

15 , my second

18:52

sister , my first sister is nine

18:54

years older than my other , one is eight years older to the day

18:57

, with twins eight years apart . Anyway

18:59

, so much . That sister went overseas when I was 15

19:02

and she went to Asia

19:05

, the US and then Europe

19:07

. And I remember speaking on

19:09

the phone not , this was before mobile

19:11

phones I remember speaking on the phone and I would just say to my

19:13

sister , vicky , vicky , tell me what you're

19:16

looking at . And so she'd be , you

19:18

know , just say Somewhere in Europe

19:21

, in France or Spain , or

19:23

, and I just say , tell me what you're looking at . So there

19:25

was no , you know , she'd handwritten postcards

19:27

and then my sister's voice would , would tap

19:30

me into where she was at at the moment

19:32

. So I just be on the phone going

19:34

, oh yeah , no way , and then just

19:36

having that Voiristic

19:39

experience as a 15 year old boy . And

19:41

then I was lucky at 15 , for the first time I got to travel

19:44

overseas because of sport . I got to go to New

19:46

Zealand , got on a plane , you know , at

19:48

15 This is amazing Getting

19:51

over to go play sport in another country

19:53

. I just remember thinking how amazing was that . So

19:56

I think I think that the curiosity came

19:58

a lot from the dinner table , to be honest , and a lot

20:00

from my sisters . My mom's

20:02

a curious person , you know . She's 80

20:05

years of age and she's still Coming

20:08

up with a theories on life and

20:10

you know . So I think it just a

20:12

lot of it came from my family .

20:13

Yeah , and are you trying to instill the same culture

20:15

like within your family as well , do they ? I

20:18

mean , the kids are allowed to use their phones while

20:20

they're having dinner .

20:21

No , no . So Breakfast

20:24

if no one's there and sometimes

20:26

you know I'm not there for breakfast a lot most

20:28

mornings , except on the weekends , or not even Saturday

20:30

. Most most the time I'm

20:32

not there for breakfast . If they buy themselves , they

20:35

can , if their mother's there or

20:37

if they're there , if the two of

20:39

them to be honest , most of the time they do , but

20:42

it didn't time , no way if . If we're

20:44

sitting down as a family , or if I'm with them

20:46

or my wife and many others with them , no way

20:48

, that that's and that they're

20:51

mostly Cool with

20:53

that because that's always been the norm . That's

20:55

always been the norm .

20:56

But for people who are stuck in this behavior , right

21:00

, how can they break free of this ? How can they

21:02

get rid of this behavior ? To

21:05

go back to this conversation type , you know , gathering And

21:09

put their phones elsewhere , because once it's ingrained

21:11

as like a like , a habit or routine , is very hard for

21:13

some people to Suddenly

21:16

go . Hey , we're not gonna have

21:18

phones on our table today , we're

21:21

just gonna chat right . So

21:23

how can people break free and how can people like inform

21:26

us something like that ?

21:28

I think step

21:30

one is awareness . So I think that's what What's

21:33

great about a conversation with someone like you

21:35

. You know , you ask great questions and then

21:37

you shine a mirror . I like just that . You gave me that moment

21:39

where I went to my childhood and thought of my Sisters

21:42

. I was like how cool that . Well , maybe that's where

21:44

my curiosity came from . But you , you shone

21:46

a light . So you asked a great question Which

21:49

brought awareness to my

21:51

behaviors and my behaviors from the past

21:53

in that example . So I think awareness

21:55

is step one And

21:57

it we , you know we're what's the same ? We're a walking

21:59

bundle of habits , you know , and

22:02

our habits Will dictate

22:04

. If you want to know where you're gonna be in five

22:06

years time , then have a look at your habits that you have today . That's

22:08

my job . Yeah , though

22:10

, my job is working with people to

22:12

to help them move away

22:14

from pain , move towards something meaningful

22:17

, and to

22:20

do that , we look at little habits

22:22

that we change incrementally at over

22:24

time . That's one of the joys of my job

22:26

. So when you , when

22:28

you placed in the context of How

22:30

does somebody create that environment

22:33

at home with the family ? step

22:35

one is awareness . Step two

22:37

is do you want to change ? then if you do

22:39

want it to change , then You need to

22:41

lead the way where the parents , or if you're someone in

22:43

leadership , then the energy

22:45

that you bring to the dinner

22:48

table or as a parent , as a leader

22:50

, or as a parent in the business , or parent as a

22:52

business , or as a leader in a business the energy

22:54

that you bring is Magnified

22:56

by those that you , that surround you . You

22:58

know and everybody knows , energy is contagious . So

23:01

You know , if you , if you want

23:03

to change that , then be the change . Thank

23:05

you , gandhi again . Come up again . Thank you , mate . He

23:07

was onto something . So you

23:09

need to lead the way , and that often means

23:11

leading the way with curiosity , and you

23:14

know it's . Communication

23:16

with your kids can be really hard , but

23:19

I don't think any communication is hard if

23:21

you , if you , are Authentically

23:24

curious yeah , and who's not curious about

23:26

their kids ? sometimes you're not you're like Tell

23:28

me about , i

23:31

don't hear from you . Yeah , most

23:33

of the time , though , yeah , we

23:36

, we can exercise curiosity because

23:38

, yeah , let's be honest , we love the hell out of him

23:40

, don't we ? so I think

23:42

Curiosity

23:44

is a great way , and you know a template

23:47

for me honestly , that's his

23:49

arbitrary is starting with Howard

23:51

school today . And if that becomes the

23:53

mundane , i'm like , okay , then tell me what

23:55

the subjects were . And then , if that becomes the mundane

23:57

, i'm like , tell me about an element . And I

24:00

love science , you know , it's part of my job

24:02

. Biology is part of my job . It's been a big part of what I've studied

24:04

and so I I gravitate

24:07

towards . If they had science , i'm like , yes , yeah

24:10

, i'm going with science . Tell me what you're doing in science or

24:12

mathematics , or

24:15

You know . But my son Really

24:18

was , or still is , quite

24:20

good at mathematics . So we went through a period and

24:23

I love that he's good at good at math and has a love

24:25

of math . So we went through

24:27

a period where we we just we

24:29

were romantic about mathematics . Like we looked

24:31

in into the life of great

24:33

mathematicians , like Leonhard

24:35

Euler . He was a phenomenal mathematician

24:38

and he come up with mathematical

24:40

poetry when , when I

24:43

squared equals , what was it ? when I squared equals minus

24:45

one . Anyway , he proposed a

24:47

, proposed a mathematical equation

24:49

that was unsolvable , but but

24:51

why it was poetry . When n

24:53

equals I squared equals minus one was from Euler

24:56

and

24:58

Everybody's like shut up , hey , what are you talking

25:00

about ? But we're , honestly , where it became beautiful

25:02

and where it created a really strong connection

25:04

with my son and I and actually learning

25:07

for me and my son . When

25:09

Euler proposed that that

25:11

question to the mathematical world , he

25:14

knew that it wasn't solvable . But but the

25:16

reason why he did it was he

25:18

said , yes , i understand that this equation

25:20

cannot be solved , but it can't be

25:22

solved with our current level of thinking

25:25

. So so I propose

25:27

this question to you to allow

25:30

you to start to explore out of the box

25:32

thinking . So , yes , we can't solve this

25:34

question now , but that doesn't mean it's not solvable

25:36

now . So you just need to look at the question , not

25:38

from head on . What if you look at the question

25:40

from around this way and you start to be curious

25:43

and start to be Creative on how

25:45

to solve this problem ? So my son

25:48

and I dived into Euler and he went to school

25:50

. He was like what was he ? ten ? You know those

25:52

, those days where you go dressed up as a

25:54

hero . You know people were we're

25:57

dressed up as a power ranger

25:59

and then a girl , when there's a million air

26:01

heart , like it was great . And you went up to each child and

26:03

you said I and who are you ? when they would in

26:05

character , they would talk , and I remember

26:08

all these parents coming up to my son And

26:10

he's my little boy and that agent is curly head

26:12

afro and it was dressed as someone

26:14

from the 1800s , dressed as Leonardo Euler

26:16

. And who are you ? when you

26:18

have the equation there ? I'm Leonardo

26:20

Euler . And he was like , well , who's that ? And

26:23

here's my boy talking

26:25

to this dude , and I just was . It was a very

26:27

proud moment . But

26:29

to bring that back to parenting

26:32

, and what did I consciously do ? I

26:34

knew that he loved mathematics and

26:37

Then I wanted him to grow that

26:39

love of mathematics and I wanted to be a part of that . So

26:42

we went into Pythagoras

26:44

and we looked at the life of pot , the , the life of

26:46

pie , that's it . We looked at the life of Pythagoras

26:48

and then we explored that and it was really cool And

26:51

he was well into it . And then

26:53

, via a Referral

26:55

from a client of mine who I'm thankful

26:58

He's a PhD mathematician He

27:00

put me on to Leonardo Euler and he told me about that

27:02

equation Then , then I died . We dived into

27:04

that together . So it was something that was really

27:06

meaningful to us and I rode

27:08

that train for as long as I could until

27:10

he was like Okay , that's enough . Okay

27:13

, let's get in the rugby or chess .

27:14

Yeah , yeah , i'm so finding that common

27:17

thread , right . I remember when I was a kid I really hated

27:19

that question , though , like whenever my my

27:21

dad or my mom asked me about how school , i Didn't

27:24

want to sleep respond because I hated school . Like

27:27

I , i never had that curiosity

27:29

to pursue that Academic

27:31

excellence path that my parents wanted

27:33

me to , so I ended up spending a lot of time

27:35

in sports , but my parents never

27:37

talked to me about about sports . Right

27:40

, and like you said , if we just focus

27:42

and be curious and find a common thread Between

27:45

you and your child , and not focusing

27:47

on what you want to talk about , you

27:49

can have so much more meaningful dialogues , right ?

27:52

Yeah , and you know what , what you said there

27:54

. Focus on what they want to talk about , because sometimes

27:56

, as a parent , don't you feel that we're , we're

27:58

waiting for the moment to drop the lesson in , and

28:01

sometimes it destroys a conversation

28:03

Because I'm guilty of it ? Yeah , i'm

28:05

guilty of it , yeah . Yeah , now's the

28:07

time that I'm gonna be a parent and

28:09

hope I'll teach them and in

28:11

reflection , that not every time , but in

28:13

reflection some of the times I've done that of

28:15

broken this bubble

28:18

that we've created together by trying to

28:20

to drop in or

28:22

you know what you should now is

28:24

the time that you know and Try to

28:26

drop in a learning , a moment of

28:28

teaching , not saying that we shouldn't teach a hundred cent

28:30

, but but it just needs to be authentic

28:33

. And if , if we're in a bubble together

28:35

which we try to create , which which , in itself

28:37

, you know , our kids

28:39

we learn by doing , and if we learn

28:41

by being a part of their , their life

28:43

, as much as possible , and and be authentic

28:45

and curious and let be open

28:48

to Saying you know you can share

28:50

with me whatever's going on . Honestly , you can share with me if

28:52

you know my daughter's nearly 15 And

28:54

I'm aware that you

28:56

know she's asked to go to parties and stuff like

28:58

that , and I'm aware that that's coming . But

29:01

I'll say to her no matter where you are , i'll come and get you right

29:04

and dating and sex and yeah , Yeah oh

29:06

man , you know I , you know , I want to

29:08

be those three monkeys honestly . But

29:10

I realize , like you know , they're here . No Cino speak

29:12

, no evil . I want to , i want to be that guy

29:14

. You know what a shelter .

29:16

It's not realistic .

29:18

It's not realistic . So , as scary as that

29:20

is , yeah , i need to be open And

29:23

she'll be a parent , you know . Give guidance , of course

29:25

, yeah , but I just need to know when

29:27

yeah , so recently .

29:28

So recently came across

29:31

this when I was been

29:33

reading some parents' books for my two

29:35

boys , right , and I think

29:37

you mentioned about empathy and communication

29:40

. I think one

29:42

of the ways where parents

29:44

often clash with children

29:46

is that they are not speaking

29:49

logic or reasoning to them at the right moment

29:51

, like you said , especially for younger

29:54

children , when they are more sort

29:57

of , when

30:04

they're thinking with their right hemisphere , which is basically their

30:06

language , their emotions , right . Sometimes

30:09

parents come in with their logic with

30:11

a life lesson , but not showing

30:13

empathy first , right . So by doing that

30:15

, you're basically using your left side hemisphere

30:17

to talk to their right side hemisphere when

30:20

they're not there . And one of the jobs that

30:22

parents need to and this

30:25

is from the author that needs to do more of

30:27

is help children and teenagers

30:29

integrate different parts of their

30:31

brains better , because when somebody

30:34

is emotionally driven right

30:36

, it means that their right side hemisphere

30:38

is activated And what you want them to do is

30:40

to help them basically think more sort of vertically

30:43

, but you can't go from left to right Right

30:45

, it will clash . So I thought it was quite profound

30:47

when I read that book . I mean , i

30:49

want to shift gear and talk about health .

30:52

Yeah , because you know , I feel

30:54

like I don't know if I'm a parenting

30:56

expert . I love doing it and I love my kids

30:58

more than anything else , And I hope that was valuable

31:00

, but I shut it .

31:03

Thank you , No , no . thank you so much for the question .

31:05

No , it's cool , I appreciate it .

31:06

You know , parenting is a big topic And , like you said , no

31:08

teenagers these days are facing different issues , like suicide

31:11

, depression and you name it And often

31:13

we are reacting to this issue and not

31:15

being prevent , not not knowing

31:17

these things enough . And most of these things can

31:19

be prevented if you spot the cues

31:21

earlier . Right , but let's talk about

31:23

, let's talk about health Now . I'll pick this up

31:26

from from what you've written on the website

31:28

, and I and I quite liked it . So

31:30

you said that the entire body is connected

31:32

and integrated . Something that may seem trivial

31:34

, such as the breath , might be the

31:36

limiting factor in achieving something as meaningful

31:39

as your new personal best . Attention

31:41

to nuances and finer details of training

31:44

and the human body is of great

31:46

importance in developing long term

31:48

sustainable high levels of performance growth and

31:50

remaining pain free . And

31:53

you ended with confidence in the small

31:55

things leads to confidence in big

31:57

. I don't know if you remember we wrote this , yeah

32:01

, so the

32:03

our mind and our body how

32:05

are they integrated and why is health so

32:07

, so important ?

32:11

You know , we , we , we call it

32:13

the Cartesian split . So , rené de Carre

32:15

, i think , therefore I am , and

32:17

we ran with that for a long period of time

32:19

. And then , in the 1980s

32:21

, a lot of neuroscience started putting the

32:24

brain back together And they went

32:26

you know what that guys , this is this

32:28

a fallacy week for a period of time

32:30

. There , We it's . The

32:32

analogy is , you know , the brain and

32:34

the body's viewed as this vehicle or

32:37

this stick to carry the brain from one meeting

32:39

to the next . And then we realized the erroneous

32:41

ways of that , because if you're sick in body

32:43

then you will be sick in mind , and

32:45

vice versa . And you know that

32:47

the influence . So there is no , there

32:50

is no separation . And so you know I

32:52

don't really know if cut René de

32:54

Carre sort of literally meant it , the way

32:56

that it was interpreted , to the strength

32:58

that we ran with it in my industry , you know , we

33:00

, we almost put René up on the cross . Damn

33:03

, you separate the brain from the body , and

33:06

I'm sure we , we maybe ran

33:08

with that a little bit too far . But

33:10

the great thing about what I

33:12

do , i can influence

33:15

how people think

33:17

, and it's it's , you know , that's , that's the

33:19

, and I do that . Thank goodness adjoin dynamics , we do

33:21

have a psychologist and , thank goodness adjoin

33:24

dynamics , education is the bed mount Excuse

33:26

me , bedrock the foundation of everything that

33:28

we do . And because we're all integrated

33:30

, there are times when the psychologists

33:33

will come and speak to my gym staff And

33:35

we can ask her questions on behavioral

33:37

science , we can ask her questions on managing behavioral

33:40

change And we can absorb

33:42

what is appropriate for us to absorb and use

33:45

what is appropriate for us to use , so we have more confidence

33:47

to get what's best for our clients . So I'm

33:50

really lucky that I can learn from and or

33:53

the whole team at joint dynamics . That's the

33:55

the , I guess

33:57

you would say the culture of joint dynamics is we all come

34:00

together , we all learn from each other

34:02

because we all want to get better and I can

34:04

contribute and I can learn and

34:06

everybody's the same . So

34:08

I'm really lucky that I

34:10

have had time with that psychologist and

34:12

all the other great coaches that we have to to

34:15

learn and try and actually each client

34:17

you learn from as well . So

34:19

so what I really love is sometimes

34:23

a great story this guy that I work

34:25

with for a long time He

34:27

loved boxing , he really loved boxing

34:29

and he was in a high

34:31

stress job . He was in higher management

34:33

in a bank . He was managing a lot of people

34:36

and sometimes it was great and sometimes it was hard

34:38

. And this day , and

34:40

he walked in a few times , being looking like

34:42

the world had beaten him up a little bit He

34:44

hadn't been boxing at all . If there's the world , it got

34:46

to him . And this one day he walked in and

34:49

the world wasn't doing

34:51

him any favours . So he had a bit of a slouch posture

34:53

and and I would was

34:56

going to put on my scientific

34:58

hat and movement science hat and say I needed

35:00

to stretch certain parts and , you know

35:02

, activate certain muscles . And on

35:04

a whim I sort of went , you know what , put

35:08

this down , come on , let's just box And like , as in

35:10

just fun , we're just sparring like

35:12

you used to do with your dad , you know , just messing around , and you

35:14

were amateur boxing before right . I

35:16

did do some boxing . Yeah , it was really

35:18

fun , It was a great place to test myself . I thought so

35:20

, I thought I'd have a go , But

35:24

this was just play and he loved

35:26

it . And you know , within two

35:28

minutes we'll both know

35:31

puffing and maybe we high-fived each other . But his

35:33

physiology totally changed . You know

35:35

there's a great book by Mabel

35:37

Mabel Todd , Mabel Lee , Todd , Mabel

35:39

Ellsworth , Todd called The Thinking Body and

35:41

she in it . One of the things that really stuck with me from

35:43

that book was you

35:46

can have the physiology of a slave or

35:48

you can have the physiology of a statesman . And

35:50

this gentleman walked in with the physiology of a

35:52

slave . Two minutes later

35:55

, from just introducing play and

35:57

fun and messing around and two blokes

36:00

just playing around , He went from

36:02

the physiology of a slave to the physiology

36:04

of a statesman . I didn't stretch , activate

36:06

, do any soft tissue work

36:08

at all . All I did was play

36:10

with him and

36:12

play and another sort

36:14

of tangent . For a couple of years a

36:16

great lady here in Hong Kong , a pioneer

36:19

actually , her name was Bess Hepworth and she

36:21

ran a company called the Bonzapai . She

36:23

was Australian and she organised

36:26

the Asia Play Conference and I was very

36:28

fortunate to speak two years in a row at

36:30

the Asia Play Conference , But

36:33

it was so beautiful

36:35

to get a lot of schools and a lot of people together

36:38

and to talk about the power of play

36:40

and every mammal place , every

36:42

mammal place . So

36:46

understanding that and diving into

36:49

more of the power of play and then also

36:51

working out how to bring that into what I was

36:53

doing interactions with clients

36:55

to get what's best for the client So

37:00

I've played helped me a lot to

37:02

understand that moving

37:05

with the body and creating this play

37:08

state almost sometimes a flow state

37:10

would change the way that someone

37:12

views the world And

37:15

hopefully that might carry on outside of when they're not

37:17

with me . I believe it does and they've had reports

37:19

back that it does .

37:20

How does somebody enter into a play

37:22

state or a flow state , like you just said ?

37:25

That's a great question . The

37:27

role of a coach is

37:30

to study an athlete And

37:32

then , once you study an athlete , and

37:34

then you have an idea of where you want

37:36

to take them . So , for example , that

37:38

was a game boxing , sparring

37:40

just to change that

37:43

person's physiology . Sometimes

37:45

you can use play to

37:47

increase reactivity

37:50

. So I

37:52

might throw a ball at you , aaron

37:54

, and I'll watch you , track movement

37:56

and then you'll respond . So you will perceive

37:59

a stimulus and

38:01

react . And if I can throw that slow

38:03

and then I can bounce it and then I can bring two balls

38:05

in , i can start . Yeah , you got

38:07

it , so I can start at

38:10

. I need to understand your threshold

38:12

, because if you go , if there's too much chaos , then

38:14

nothing works and you learn nothing from

38:16

it . And if it's too easy , aaron , catch

38:19

good boy , no authentic encouragement

38:21

, that's you know . So you need

38:23

to meet the athlete with any to meet . So that's

38:25

why I said , as a coach , you need to study , like

38:27

incremental barrier .

38:29

Almost right . You got to make it challenging and fun

38:31

.

38:31

Yeah , yeah , yeah . And you just , if this is your threshold

38:33

, Aaron , and you turn up ready to go

38:35

, then I'm going to play here . If this is your

38:37

threshold and you turn up and you didn't

38:40

have a good sleep , you're not been eating well

38:42

, just say the world's beating you up , then

38:44

maybe I'm going to set the challenge here . You

38:46

know , so that's always . I don't need to know

38:48

your threshold And sorry

38:51

, to have an idea of where you're going as well . And

38:53

then I need to know who you are today , because you're not

38:55

the same like today's . You were yesterday . So

38:57

that initial part of every

39:00

session , the exploration , is building rapport

39:02

and saying just like , just

39:04

like to my kids how was school today , aaron , how was your day

39:06

today ? And that can be an

39:08

almost . It's good , andrew , okay

39:10

, but then I have to push on , just like with my kids Okay

39:13

, what'd you have for breakfast ? And then you'll say

39:15

you know what ? I didn't

39:17

have time . And on the way to work today , i've got

39:19

a croissant and a coffee . Okay , that gives

39:21

me another reflection of who Aaron is at this

39:23

moment . And then I'll go . And then what happened

39:25

after that ? Did you drink some water ? No , mate , i was too busy

39:28

. Not everyone's Australian . I

39:30

am and I and I please forgive me

39:32

for falling into those Australianisms No

39:35

, i was too busy to have water , so that gives

39:37

me another understanding . So then I gather

39:39

information What do you got going on after

39:42

this session ? Just say , we're hanging out for an

39:44

hour and I need to know how hard I'm going

39:46

to push you and what I'm going to get out of you and

39:48

how it's going to influence the rest of your day . Then

39:50

I need to say , well , what do you got going on ? And if you tell

39:52

me you've got a massive meeting , an investor

39:54

meeting , after this , i need to know

39:57

that . And then I need to maybe leave

39:59

enough in the bank for that . Or

40:01

conversely , you say you know

40:03

what , mate , i got up this morning , had a great sleep

40:05

. I got up this morning I had a grapefruit

40:08

. Just after I drank a big glass of water , had

40:10

a grapefruit to start that , i went away and I had a shower

40:12

and then I had about 20 minutes . I came back , had

40:14

a couple of eggs with a sweet potato and a

40:16

serving of mushrooms . I felt great

40:18

. Then I got to work . I had some coffee and

40:21

this world of new tropics had coffee with , and

40:24

it's okay for me to have coffee because I had good

40:26

sleep . And if you don't , coffee is amazing

40:28

. The research point coffee is amazing . You

40:30

run faster , lift heavier , decrease

40:33

pain , you think better , there's cognitive benefits

40:35

. But if you're not getting enough recovery then

40:37

it's not your friend . It's like a high interest

40:39

loan . But if you are getting enough sleep

40:42

, coffee is a friend as long as it meets

40:44

you as an individual . So you know , maybe

40:46

you said I had coffee and I put some lion's mane mushroom

40:49

in it . It seems as though lion's mane is good for

40:51

cognition and your nervous system . I'm like man

40:53

. The Aaron that I'm with today

40:55

is a beast . So I'm going

40:57

to challenge you to here . So all

40:59

the tools that I have for you

41:01

, i'm going to ramp it up , knowing who you

41:03

are and where you are as an athlete

41:05

, or where you are as a strength athlete or where you are

41:08

as a as a bloody human mate , how

41:10

you move , you know . I'll ramp it up

41:12

to meet you where you need to be met today .

41:14

I'm interested to hear from you . So

41:17

we're right now in Hong Kong . about one

41:19

in six or one in seven people have mental health issues

41:21

Right With your profession . what

41:24

are the trends Like ? where are people having issues

41:26

with their mental health and with their physical health

41:28

?

41:30

I guess , coming off the back of

41:32

three years , there's a lot

41:34

of stress

41:36

around job security in Hong Kong . There's

41:39

still the unknown , there's

41:41

unknown elements of Hong Kong , so a lot of people have

41:43

stress there which leads to anxiety

41:46

and mental health issues . And

41:48

, to be honest , i have

41:51

clients and in that exploration

41:53

where I'm building rapport and understanding who

41:55

you are today and getting an understanding

41:57

who you are today and putting that in the

41:59

chain of who you've been the last week

42:02

, month , six months , getting an understanding

42:04

of who you are . So I do

42:06

work with people that are suffering

42:08

there And I have worked with people who have had , you

42:12

know , i've been working with a psychologist in combination

42:14

and I stay in my lane but I've

42:16

learned some things along the way , which is a physiology ? Yeah

42:18

, yeah , i've learned some things along the way . You

42:22

know , movement just makes

42:24

things better , aaron . Movement

42:26

makes things better . And you know there was

42:28

this , some seminal research

42:31

from Duke University on exercise

42:33

and depression . It wasn't

42:35

major psychotics of depression

42:38

, but it was . I

42:40

guess the metric might have been mid to

42:42

more serious depression . And

42:45

they did the exercise . Excuse me , the research

42:47

. James Blumonthal

42:50

was the lead researcher . There's been a thousand

42:52

papers , but this was a really big one when it came out

42:54

Anyway

42:56

. So the research was on exercise and

42:58

its effects on depression , and then there

43:01

was three groups exercise and

43:04

a pharmaceutical intervention . One

43:06

group , exercise , only

43:08

one group . And then the pharmaceutical intervention

43:10

was one group And I can't remember the type

43:13

of medication . It was

43:15

one of those serotonin re-uptaking

43:17

Gosh

43:19

, it was Zoloft . But anyway , the research

43:22

is out there , you can see whichever one it was . Anyway

43:24

, what they found was , at

43:26

the initial , everything works . That was great . Medication

43:28

is good , thank goodness . You

43:30

know I mean because so many people on medication . This

43:33

research proved , hey , the pharmaceutical intervention helped

43:35

, as did exercise , as did

43:37

exercise and the pharmaceutical

43:39

intervention . But what was fascinating about the

43:41

research ? when they uncovered , when they went

43:44

back , long term exercise

43:46

alone outperformed

43:48

even exercise and

43:50

pharmaceutical , which was fascinating

43:53

. And then when they dove into the participants

43:55

and I think it was 38 people per group , so it

43:57

wasn't massive , but it was enough to

44:00

glean some solid lessons from it By

44:04

doing the exercise only group , and I

44:06

think it was nine months later they revisited , so they

44:08

visited points along the way And

44:10

by nine months the exercise only group had the

44:13

smallest amount of people that relapsed into

44:15

the level of depression they were at . But what

44:17

happened was exercise

44:19

gave me a sense of control

44:21

. You know what I can control this

44:23

When I don't feel well , when

44:25

the dark clouds come in , if I can

44:27

either invest in a friendship

44:30

hey , aaron , can you make sure three

44:32

times a week that we go for a run together

44:34

? So you help me , i help you

44:36

. This is a great relationship Or

44:39

, if I have the resources , i'll invest in a coach , or

44:41

I'll invest in putting myself into a team , or

44:44

I'll invest in building the

44:46

self-discipline , and that's the hard one

44:48

. So it's not . It's hard to build self-discipline

44:50

, and I understand , but

44:53

if maybe I've invested in time to build the

44:55

discipline , so when I feel that

44:57

level of depression or the dark clouds , i'm going to go for a

44:59

run or a swim , i'm going to hit the heavy bag

45:02

or I'm going to lift weights or whatever , and

45:05

via that intervention let's call

45:07

it I had a level of self-control

45:09

and that stuck with

45:11

me . So exercise , movement

45:14

, my goodness , it's

45:16

discretionary behaviour . For the first time ever

45:19

in history , movement is discretionary

45:21

behaviour . Imagine if we turn the clock

45:23

, even to your great grandfather you're my great

45:25

grandfather and they said you know what , claude

45:29

my , that was his name , claude how

45:31

you doing , mate , how

45:34

you are , mate , great to hear . Imagine

45:36

saying to him you know what you're going to do . For

45:38

10 hours a day you're going to sit at

45:41

that chair and not leave , and then

45:43

, and it's normal , yeah , and you're going to sit down and

45:45

get home , or you might walk a little bit , but

45:47

then you'll sit down and get home , and then when you get home for entertainment

45:50

, you're also going to sit down and your

45:52

world will revolve around sitting down

45:54

. So that's discretionary behaviour

45:56

. But one of the really cool pieces

45:59

of information that come from that research back to the Duke

46:01

University . Before I move on . It's

46:04

not sure if

46:07

exercise

46:09

is an antidepressant or

46:12

if not exercising

46:14

or not moving is it a depressant . But

46:16

it doesn't matter . Either way you slice it . The result's

46:18

the same . But sitting down , sedentary

46:20

, just as we spoke about before

46:23

, the mind and body they're so connected . Sick

46:25

in body , sick in mind , vice versa , the two are

46:27

related . So

46:30

if you can move , invest in

46:32

a relationship that we spoke about , you're going

46:34

to feel better . I promise you

46:36

you'll feel . I put that finger on the line

46:38

. I've still got it . I've done it a hundred times . There's my

46:40

little finger . That's how confident I am . I've

46:42

built this little finger so many times and it's still there . So

46:45

, yes , i have

46:49

to be wary that I'll get away from the questions , but I am going to

46:51

bring it back . I'm

46:53

going to bring it back that the movement is such a fundamental part of being a human

46:56

. So you've heard the saying you are what

46:58

you eat . It's very true . It's very true . The

47:00

next time you eat something , i challenge you . You're drinking

47:02

that water . But imagine at home

47:05

, whatever you , if you pick something

47:07

up right now , you eat that , you chew

47:09

it , you swallow it down and it becomes you

47:11

. So what do you want

47:13

? the food that you eat ? when

47:15

it becomes you , what are you going to put into your body ? Are you going

47:17

to put in processed food that's going to rob you of

47:20

nutrients . Literally , some food that you eat processed

47:23

foods will rob you of nutrients . It'll

47:25

take nutrients in your body to process

47:27

those and deal with the stress of

47:29

that food . We'll call it

47:31

a treat that you eat sometimes . Or do you want

47:33

that food that will become

47:36

you to nourish you ? like a piece

47:39

of fish , an egg , piece of

47:41

broccoli . You chew it and it becomes you . So

47:44

you are what you eat , yes , but as a human

47:46

, when we look at our evolutionary

47:48

history , you are what

47:51

you had to do to eat as well . And

47:53

what I had to do to eat was sometimes

47:56

run , sometimes throw , pick

47:58

things up , move a lot , be quiet

48:00

, be fast . So , as guidance

48:03

from evolutionary biology , we

48:05

know what we need to do today , but it's discretionary

48:07

. And when it's discretionary

48:10

and I don't choose to move , i

48:12

don't invest in our friendship to exercise together

48:14

, go for a walk and have a chat about the day , or

48:17

if I don't invest in team sport or anything

48:19

, then the likelihood

48:21

of depression is high . It's higher

48:23

. So

48:28

even the world of longevity . At the moment , it's

48:30

my industry

48:33

, like fashion

48:35

, it's very trend-orientated . Nutrition and

48:37

exercise , my God . So nutrition

48:39

, more so . It's very

48:41

trend-orientated At

48:45

the moment , i would say , the

48:47

biggest buzz in my industry

48:49

health , wellness , coaching , fitness , nutrition

48:51

, exercise , science . Yeah , what is trending It's longevity

48:54

, and it's great that it is .

48:56

But it's not a trend .

48:58

It is trending , but here's the great thing it's

49:00

not a trend because it's so important , so

49:03

important from a government level , from an economic level

49:05

, from an individual level . There's so

49:07

many layers to longevity So

49:09

it's really important that it

49:11

won't go away , because it's too important now

49:13

. So longevity is not going to go away

49:15

, but it's the biggest thing in

49:17

men's shoe at the moment . So look at what's

49:20

the number one thing that comes up . you know what it is

49:22

and it's not subjective , it's not Andrew's

49:25

opinion . You

49:27

know who thinks is good with a hammer , thinks

49:29

everything is a nail with Abraham Maslow . I'm

49:31

not being that person at all . It's maintaining

49:34

muscle mass as you age . So

49:36

keeping it and

49:38

maybe putting on a little bit more is the number one

49:40

thing you can do to maintain your

49:42

life .

49:43

I'm going to get some advice from you . You mentioned

49:45

about strength exercise , yes , and

49:48

incorporate that as part of our

49:50

day-to-day . So this is my routine

49:52

. Obviously , it took me three years to

49:54

get to the system that

49:56

works for me . So I , on

50:01

Monday and Friday are my cardio days , right ? So

50:03

I hike Monday morning , i hike Friday morning

50:05

, i do basketball , i do hoops on

50:07

Monday night . So I basically get all

50:09

my cardio from Monday and Friday . Tuesday

50:12

and Thursday I go to the gym . Those are my

50:14

strength days . Wednesday is my cheat

50:16

day . I don't follow my system 100%

50:19

. I aim for 80% threshold And

50:21

if I fall below 80% every now

50:23

and then I'm okay . Yeah , and this is a system

50:26

. After three years I don't know what I found that works

50:28

for me , right ? Is that a good system

50:30

? Is that enough strength training

50:32

for a 39 year old male ? What

50:34

would you say to that ?

50:35

With two boys , mate . That's

50:38

the part of the equation that you leave out When

50:40

you have . I have one son and two , and I'm not

50:42

saying I am saying

50:44

boys are rougher

50:46

than girls , like I never forget one day

50:48

. It's like tangent . I

50:51

was walking past my couch and my son

50:53

just dived and hit me from the side

50:55

. I was like where the hell did that come from ? You know

50:57

, i was like whoa , so I went and

50:59

for a moment I was like well , i'm so glad that I look

51:01

after myself , because that could have been a back injury , but

51:05

you have two boys , so , man , you want to look after yourself

51:07

. My

51:10

first question is what do you do Saturday and Sunday

51:12

? So there's five days Wednesday is a cheat day , monday

51:14

, tuesday , thursday , friday . What do you do Saturday

51:16

and Sunday ?

51:17

Well , we just go out , spend time with the

51:19

boys and my wife shopping

51:22

more outdoor parks , beaches .

51:24

So there's an element of activity there as well . Okay

51:28

, so you seem pretty active , especially

51:30

Monday Going for a high-compane

51:32

basketball . So

51:35

then you know there's a few questions , that some

51:37

questions are , i think

51:39

, obvious . What do you want from your life , aaron ? You want to age

51:41

at 39 , far

51:44

out of your long way to go But you want to be

51:46

able to engage in life in a meaningful way . so you want

51:48

to maintain enough health and

51:50

conditioning to be able to have fun with your sons and

51:52

your wife and engage in life in a meaningful way and

51:54

keep playing basketball . When you said

51:57

basketball your face , you know , play back

51:59

the tape , guys . you see , when he said play basketball , there was a little

52:01

blimp in his eye which is great .

52:03

So it's meaningful and it's fun to you .

52:04

So there's your play state . There's

52:06

your play state right there . You asked me how do you get into

52:09

play ? I say to you Aaron , play

52:11

more basketball Yeah wow , geez . So

52:13

what

52:16

else Is there anything like to you

52:19

? Aesthetics is OK

52:21

, you know There's

52:23

a , it's nice to feel that you

52:25

look good , but it's not enough . You

52:27

know And a lot of people come

52:29

into training , you know , to

52:32

look after this thing that you're going to be in for

52:34

a long time , for your entire life , which

52:37

, as subjective as that number is . But

52:41

what do you want out of it ? You know , like I know

52:43

, i want to be able to connect with life in a

52:45

very physical way frequently . I love it . It's

52:47

been the major part of my life and I want to continue

52:50

that . And I want to continue that with my kids . I want to do

52:52

great things with my daughter and my son

52:54

. I want to be able to play with my wife in a physical way a lot

52:56

. That's a big part of who I am . So I'm naturally

52:59

motivated to train

53:01

And I think when

53:03

you're training , i

53:05

think the equation should be ideally

53:08

I reckon it should be 38%

53:12

stick , 62%

53:15

carrot . Do you know what I mean ? So you

53:17

are running away from you know

53:19

I'm just turned 50 . So I am

53:21

. There is elements of my training that will drive

53:23

me for behavioral change , to create

53:26

discipline , to say I'm 50

53:28

, man , that left shoulder doesn't feel

53:30

as good as it should . You know

53:32

I'm going to do exercises that are going

53:34

to protect me from pain . I'm

53:36

running away from pain And I view

53:38

that as the stick , you know . But

53:41

the other 62% I've

53:43

got a group of mates that I hang out with . On Thursday

53:45

and Saturday morning We get on paddleboards , we paddle

53:47

out to Round Island . Sometimes

53:49

we wrestle , sometimes we do Navy

53:52

Seal stuff where we tie our hands and legs up , we

53:54

swim in the water and push each other under water . Sometimes

53:56

we just do body weight exercises And I

53:58

love it And part of that is and

54:00

then we come in , we have an ice bar And it's rewarding

54:03

and satisfying right . Yeah yeah , it's fun , it's

54:05

human connection , it's connection with nature . I'm

54:07

hanging out with my mates . You know I

54:10

get stronger from it . That is

54:12

something that I run to And

54:14

that's almost my 62%

54:16

. The carrot is I

54:20

want to stay in great shape And I

54:22

want to be able to engage in life . On Sunday I went wakeboarding

54:24

. How awesome was that , you know

54:26

? imagine if I couldn't go wakeboarding

54:28

because I wasn't physically enough , physically strong

54:30

enough to go wakeboarding . So that was joyous

54:33

And I'll run towards that . One

54:35

other 38% stick

54:37

, 62% carrot

54:40

, but 68%

54:42

mental , 92%

54:45

physical .

54:46

So Come

54:48

again , come again . The first one adds up to

54:50

100% , The other one you can't .

54:52

It's got to be more than 100% , ladies and gentlemen . But

54:56

so back to you . I think what you're doing

54:58

is great , but we

55:00

go back to the principles muscle

55:03

mass and in so many reasons , whether

55:05

it be the way that you regulate

55:07

blood sugar , you know what I mean

55:09

. So , type two diabetes

55:12

, insulin resistance , that is where

55:14

the parts of your body , your muscles and liver

55:16

, they store . They put very simple

55:18

, they put sugar in it . They store

55:20

some sugar there And when

55:22

you exercise you liberate , or

55:25

the sugar comes out and you use it as energy . So

55:27

then you become very sensitive

55:29

to insulin . Insulin is this

55:31

molecule that takes nutrition

55:33

and puts it in yourselves . But when you sit

55:35

all day and you eat food

55:37

high sugar foods , for example then

55:40

the sugar that's

55:42

stored in your muscles and liver doesn't oh , the muscles

55:44

in particular doesn't get used up very much . So

55:46

then when you eat sugar and the sugar says , hey

55:49

, insulin comes up , hey , it's my role to take

55:51

you and put you in the cells . The cells

55:53

are like they've got the no vacancy

55:55

sign up . Sorry , you can't come in

55:57

here because Andrew's not moving . So

56:00

I'm still in the muscle . So

56:02

I'm actually I'm insulin

56:05

resistant , so you're gonna have to go somewhere else

56:07

and what they'll probably do convert into fat and maybe

56:09

the fat around your abdominal organs , and that's

56:11

really bad , that's pro-inflammatory . Whereas

56:14

when you exercise , you move , a lot comes

56:16

out and the sugar it comes

56:18

out . I'm being very simple as possible . The sugar

56:21

comes out of the muscle and then you

56:23

exercise , which you do great , you play basketball with

56:25

your mates and afterwards you have some good food . Insulin

56:27

comes up , the role of insulin to take that

56:29

food and put it in

56:31

the cells and store it for another day . You're

56:34

very insulin sensitive , so the vacancy

56:36

sign up is in all those cells . So that's

56:38

one of the reasons It's a myriad

56:40

of why muscle is so important . And I'm hammering

56:42

on about it because one of the principles to

56:44

you , aaron , to your training

56:47

, is Tuesday and Thursday you

56:49

lift weights . Why ? Because

56:52

it feels great , but also

56:54

to stimulate at

56:56

least maintain or to stimulate

56:58

some more muscle growth . What

57:01

is the principles to muscle growth

57:03

? There's something in my industry called the overload principle . Aaron

57:05

, if you can lift 100 , we're

57:07

gonna train in a way so that you can now

57:09

lift 101 . And then

57:11

we'll keep training so you can lift 102 . And of course we

57:14

cycle and we add different variations in reps

57:16

and loading schemes and rest , but the

57:18

goal is to make you stronger . So that's

57:20

one way overload you , and

57:23

then we go back to what's the role of coach Understand

57:25

who your athlete is , know your threshold

57:27

, know who you are today , put that in

57:29

the chain of who you are . Each day that you've come in , i'm

57:32

starting to form a pattern of who you are . And then , little

57:34

things we introduce , little habits

57:36

that can change you . Aaron , okay , what I want

57:38

you to do this week is drink that glass

57:40

of water every morning , the first thing you do when you wake

57:42

up . You've said now five sessions in

57:44

a row that you've woken up

57:47

. You've been in a rush , you didn't have water , you

57:49

got coffee on the way to work and you had something that was compromised

57:51

across on Tomorrow , my

57:54

challenge for you let's play

57:56

, get up and have a glass of water , and

57:58

then I'm gonna ask you and you know , the great thing about

58:00

a coach is what clients

58:03

will give feedback is . I knew that you were gonna ask me

58:05

this , so that's why I did it , and if that's

58:07

what you need for a habit , back

58:09

to habits . We're a walking bundle of habits and sometimes

58:11

awareness comes from the role of a coach

58:13

or your partner or someone that cares

58:16

about you . My role is

58:18

to do one habit at a time . Once you've got

58:20

water , awesome . Okay , now let's move

58:22

on to mate . Just

58:24

get to bed a little bit earlier

58:26

, and you know that might mean nutrition's

58:29

a dodgy field , but something that I feel confident

58:31

that I can share . It's staying within my lane . Stress

58:34

depletes magnesium in the body , so maybe I'll

58:36

say eat high magnesium foods . If that

58:38

doesn't work , then maybe we could explore a

58:41

supplementation from magnesium . We'll choose

58:43

a magnesium that ends at ATE glycinate

58:46

. We might choose depending on what's going on , but

58:48

we'll just choose a magnesium supplementation

58:51

And we'll try that N of

58:53

one , you know , and then that might lead

58:55

to you getting some more sleep . And then , once I know you've

58:57

got more sleep , then I know coffee's not

58:59

your high interest loan , it's not your enemy

59:01

. That's gonna make you feel good for a little while , but

59:03

sooner or later , if you have coffee , if you're not

59:06

getting adequate rest and recovery , coffee will

59:08

come back to haunt you , whereas if you

59:10

get enough rest and now you are due to

59:12

the little habit that we said you know

59:14

what , aaron ? we're gonna start eating

59:16

avocados , green vegetables

59:19

, some nuts , these foods

59:21

that are high in magnesium and you know what ? I'm gonna give you

59:23

a magnesium supplement that I would suggest

59:25

, and anything I would suggest I would do my research

59:27

on , so you can trust me . I promise you you can trust me take

59:30

this one And

59:32

that you've found that by using that

59:34

now , you're getting better sleep . Okay , so now

59:36

let's lay on the next habit And honestly , aaron

59:39

, that's my job And when I know that's

59:41

you going back to . Where's Andrew

59:43

going with this ? My goodness , he's going everywhere , but I'm

59:45

not . I'm staying here . I'm

59:47

staying in on Tuesday and Thursday . I

59:50

promise you the most important thing you can do in

59:52

your life not even me , it's not even

59:54

subjective anymore , anyone . This isn't Andrew

59:56

thinking Abraham Maslow , it's not . It's

59:59

World Health Organization

1:00:01

saying the number one thing that you can do as you

1:00:03

age is maintain

1:00:05

muscle mass , and you're saying 39 . Andrew , i'm not

1:00:07

old . I know you're not . You're not old

1:00:09

by any stretch of the imagination , but you

1:00:11

need to build up your stores now . While

1:00:14

you can still add muscle to your frame

1:00:16

, build it up . Of course , you're not gonna be a bodybuilder

1:00:19

, girls , i know , i know

1:00:21

you're scared . You're gonna look like the female

1:00:23

version of Arnold Schwarzenegger . It's not

1:00:25

gonna happen That you don't sleep

1:00:27

enough to look anything like the female

1:00:30

version of Arnold Schwarzenegger . You don't train

1:00:32

nearly hard enough to look anything

1:00:34

like the female version , and so you can rest

1:00:37

assured , there's that finger again putting

1:00:40

my finger on the line . It's not gonna happen .

1:00:42

So you're training maintain muscle mass . Yeah

1:00:44

, i wanna stay on this muscle mass

1:00:46

. I love talking about it , don't I ? No

1:00:48

, muscle mass , right , muscle

1:00:50

mass . why is it important

1:00:52

? You mentioned about urgency just now . Why

1:00:54

is it important for people to act now

1:00:57

? Let's say they're mid-aged , like us . Yeah , quite

1:00:59

good , 30 plus 30

1:01:01

to 40 , 40 to 50 , 50 to

1:01:03

60 , 60 plus , right ? Why

1:01:06

do they need to act right now ?

1:01:08

Basically what I said to you , and just

1:01:10

to clarify lifting weights

1:01:12

is an excellent way . Using that

1:01:14

overload principle that I spoke about with load

1:01:16

is an excellent way , as

1:01:19

is making sure you have enough dietary protein

1:01:21

, So those two things , as is having enough sleep , So

1:01:23

you can see how they're all related , As is . But

1:01:25

if you love swimming , Aaron

1:01:28

, then sprint . The overload comes

1:01:31

from if you can swim .

1:01:32

Do more laps 50 , yeah , yeah .

1:01:34

But then also think fast-twitch

1:01:36

muscle fibers , because they're the bigger ones . If

1:01:38

you can swim 50 meters in 35

1:01:41

seconds , aaron , training away , you're gonna

1:01:43

try to get that number down to 34 , or 34.5

1:01:46

, so you can overload with speed as well

1:01:48

, and that's

1:01:50

another way that you can stimulate muscle mass . I know what you're saying

1:01:52

right now . Everyone I know what you're saying . What

1:01:54

about my joint health ? Yes , that's why you

1:01:56

may be investing a coach or investing

1:01:59

in someone that knows what they're doing online . Because

1:02:01

you can't lift heavy weights , you can't run

1:02:03

fast enough to stimulate muscle growth , you can't swim

1:02:07

fast enough to stimulate muscle growth , you

1:02:09

can't play basketball hard enough to stimulate

1:02:11

muscle growth and you do if your joints

1:02:13

are hurting . So you need to surround

1:02:15

the overload principle with joint health

1:02:17

movements and exercises as well . So

1:02:20

all of these wow , the ball just got bigger

1:02:22

. So we need to eat enough protein and eat enough

1:02:24

vegetables to get all that , the good nutrition we

1:02:26

need to get the overload principle . We need to look after our joints

1:02:28

, we need to get enough recovery , but

1:02:30

they all fall , and I need to have good mates .

1:02:33

Yeah , we enforce each other .

1:02:34

Yeah , they all it's . Sometimes people

1:02:39

get overwhelmed by saying

1:02:41

, holy cow , andrew , what ? So

1:02:43

? not only do I need to exercise

1:02:45

, but I need to eat good food , i need

1:02:47

to meditate , i need to spend

1:02:50

time in nature and I need to spend quality

1:02:52

, meaningful time with my family . And I'm like , yes

1:02:55

, you do , but a couple of things

1:02:57

extend your expectations

1:02:59

. Doesn't have to happen in one day . And

1:03:02

then also , what you'll realize , a

1:03:04

lot of them go together . When

1:03:07

you're with your mates , there's a social interaction

1:03:09

, or when you're with your basketball teams . Remember that look in his

1:03:11

eye , georgia , just before I hit you before

1:03:14

. Sorry about that . There it is again

1:03:16

. There it is again . I say basketball and it just happens

1:03:18

, zoom in . You're with your

1:03:20

mates , so there's those social interactions

1:03:22

. And you're probably talking a bit of smack . You know comedy

1:03:25

, mate , but you know all that fun the play

1:03:27

state , the flow state . So you're getting

1:03:29

social interactions . You're getting

1:03:31

the exercise , the overload principle . If you're a

1:03:34

competitive person , even if

1:03:36

you're not competitive , when you're thrown into a team

1:03:38

sport and you get caught up , swept away

1:03:40

, the energy of the group will drag

1:03:42

you along The pride the teamwork right . Yeah

1:03:45

, yeah , you'll go . Chances are you'll go

1:03:47

a little bit beyond your threshold . You know what I mean , which is

1:03:49

great , which is the overload principle again . So when

1:03:51

you're getting those things , so there's two things

1:03:53

at once , when you do those two things

1:03:55

at once and you feel great after

1:03:58

that session with your basketball . Let me ask you a real

1:04:00

question , aaron . When you play basketball

1:04:02

on Monday night okay , there might be

1:04:04

times when you go and have a beer with your mates , okay

1:04:06

, Yeah , I was gonna ask you that , Yeah , it's coming , it's

1:04:08

coming because it's important , more

1:04:11

social connection . But when you don't

1:04:13

go for a beer with your mates , do you feel like eating

1:04:15

crap food or do you feel like eating good food ?

1:04:18

I feel like eating good food , yeah , and when you do that , i feel like not

1:04:20

eating at all .

1:04:21

Oh , okay , cool okay , then let me bring the question

1:04:23

to when you're lifting weights on Tuesday and Thursday After

1:04:26

that session , when you lift weights , what

1:04:28

do you feel like eating ? Are you sure you're trying to cup

1:04:30

of coffee straight after ? And do

1:04:33

you eat any food Eggs , avocados-

1:04:35

Oh , you do okay , just same thing that I eat normally

1:04:37

, But why do you eat that sweet ?

1:04:41

Oh , i don't know . I eat the same food every day . Okay

1:04:43

, two eggs avocado and

1:04:45

some fruits . I eat those Monday and Friday

1:04:48

.

1:04:48

There you go . Yeah , so that shows

1:04:50

how habitual we are . Ladies and gentlemen , i'm very similar , but

1:04:53

can I just press on you a little bit more ? After

1:04:56

a heavyweight session , is there a thought

1:04:58

in your mind after that heavyweight session on

1:05:00

why that's good food , why I would

1:05:02

eat good food after investing my time and

1:05:04

energy , probably money , and in

1:05:06

that one hour I'm choosing an arbitrary

1:05:09

time , but a lot of people work out for an hour . Is

1:05:11

there a thought that created

1:05:14

that habit of eating those foods after that one hour

1:05:16

? investment of time , money , energy

1:05:18

that went into why you eat great food afterwards

1:05:20

, or that was just by chance you ate great

1:05:22

food after that work .

1:05:23

I think gym for me Tuesday and Thursday

1:05:25

actually happened after I

1:05:29

developed this breakfast routine

1:05:32

So for me that we wore after

1:05:34

doing the gym session . It's just a cup of coffee And

1:05:37

I'll bring a book with me and I'll just read for half an hour . Nice

1:05:39

Yeah , and I really enjoyed that Awesome

1:05:42

.

1:05:42

Can I ask you another question ?

1:05:43

Yeah , go ahead man .

1:05:44

Then do you feel and this

1:05:46

I won't frame it Do you feel

1:05:49

that if you've put that effort

1:05:51

into that one hour workout and I know people

1:05:53

go many different directions there's no right or

1:05:55

wrong answer ? Do you feel , after you put that energy

1:05:58

and time and everything into that workout , for all

1:06:00

the reasons , that you may and let's link your

1:06:02

kids to that , which is a very real motivation

1:06:04

, am I right ? So you lift weights

1:06:07

one of the reasons why you lift weights and

1:06:09

I know your story , aaron , i know your story with your

1:06:11

son , so that is meaningful and

1:06:13

that's far out . We spoke

1:06:15

about this on my podcast

1:06:17

. That was as terrible as

1:06:19

it sounds . What a gift to your life and your son's

1:06:21

fine . What a gift to your life . That was because look

1:06:23

what you're doing now . How many books have you written ?

1:06:25

Three , a lot more than this .

1:06:27

Dude , I'm writing three books because you had this

1:06:29

moment with your son that

1:06:31

snapped you into Holy Cow . I want to be

1:06:33

more So . That's one

1:06:35

of the reasons why you look

1:06:38

after yourself and lift weights .

1:06:40

One of the reasons Because I want to be around

1:06:42

for as long as I can ?

1:06:43

Yes , and do you link being around for as long

1:06:45

as you can for your sons and your

1:06:48

wife ? Do you link that meaningful

1:06:51

motivation to eating good food

1:06:53

or not ? Of course 100%

1:06:55

100% Everyone does When you shine a light

1:06:57

on it . back to Andrew

1:07:00

saying the same thing awareness , when

1:07:02

you bring awareness , and it's sometimes

1:07:04

I feel it's a cheap trick , but when you talk to anyone

1:07:07

about their kids and not everyone has

1:07:09

kids , so I understand the floor in

1:07:11

my strategy but I've got a lot of tools . But

1:07:13

when you talk to anyone about their kids

1:07:15

and my goal , aaron , is , people

1:07:18

I work with pay me money

1:07:21

And I want them to get a great result

1:07:23

because I love what I do and I love being

1:07:25

able to work with people in , whether they be athletes

1:07:27

, corporate athletes , fathers , moms , whatever

1:07:30

. But if I , knowing you

1:07:32

and understand that you have

1:07:34

children and just about

1:07:36

everyone that has children

1:07:38

wants to be around for their children and

1:07:40

be able to support their children , i'm going to

1:07:42

leverage that in every way

1:07:44

that I can because I know it's what's good for you . And

1:07:47

if I know that you make compromise in your

1:07:49

food , that you choose , remember I understand

1:07:51

who you are every day . How'd you sleep last night

1:07:53

? What'd you have for breakfast ? Who is Aaron today

1:07:55

? I'm asking you who ate

1:07:57

today And then I string that along with who Aaron was

1:07:59

on Wednesday and I string Aaron who that was on

1:08:01

Monday , depending on how many times I see , and

1:08:05

if we're not getting A , you're not getting the results that

1:08:07

you want . And if

1:08:09

they're not getting the results that I silently want for

1:08:11

you and sometimes I communicate them with you then

1:08:13

I have to find a way to unlock that behavior

1:08:15

. And if me saying to you

1:08:17

like we just did , then , aaron , why do you eat that way

1:08:20

? And then I said to you about

1:08:22

that experience with your kids and I know that you're a father

1:08:25

and then I saw in you you

1:08:28

would eat this table If science showed

1:08:31

you and I would too if science showed

1:08:33

to me that me eating

1:08:35

on this table right now would enable

1:08:37

me to authentically play and engage

1:08:39

with my kids for the next 30 years

1:08:41

. mate , get me a fork . I'm

1:08:43

smashing this table right now

1:08:46

. You know what I mean . That's how meaningful being

1:08:48

a parent is to me , and it again

1:08:50

doesn't have to be a parent , it's just

1:08:52

an easy one . Sometimes it is sport

1:08:54

. Like you know , i've worked with incredible athletes

1:08:57

who wanted to a fighter that I went

1:08:59

to Vladivostok in Russia and he

1:09:01

wanted . he was a great fighter and he wanted to win

1:09:03

. So we leveraged his inherent

1:09:05

competitive nature on creating

1:09:08

small behavioral changes . You know what you got to do tomorrow

1:09:10

, mate . Get up and drink a big glass of water

1:09:12

. That's all I want you to do and success , free

1:09:14

, success . Aaron went back to you . you turn

1:09:17

up , aaron . did you drink that glass of water

1:09:19

? since I saw you , it was Monday , tuesday

1:09:21

, wednesday you drink the glass of water and , to be honest , i'll WhatsApp

1:09:23

you and say how'd you go to the water ? I'm

1:09:25

an annoying . sometimes I'm an annoying bastard

1:09:27

. 9 , 30 PM . Aaron , don't forget

1:09:29

the water tomorrow . You know what I mean

1:09:32

. So I need to push you along . That's my role , That's the role

1:09:34

of a coach . you know , Make you uncomfortable which

1:09:36

means that I better be okay being uncomfortable . I better be

1:09:38

authentic as well .

1:09:39

So you you talked about , I

1:09:41

guess , motivation and mindset

1:09:43

, right , And I assume people who come

1:09:46

to you they have a desire to change

1:09:48

, They feel that something is lacking , It's

1:09:50

in their current environment , That's why they come to you

1:09:52

. But for the listeners

1:09:54

, like people who feel

1:09:57

that they're lacking motivation , right

1:09:59

, You talk about kids . Yeah , I've got two boys . Right

1:10:01

, But you know some children , you know some . I guess

1:10:03

some listeners might might not

1:10:05

have kids or they might be on this

1:10:07

pathway of finding what their motivation or

1:10:09

cue is . Yeah , How do you tackle that

1:10:11

?

1:10:12

Okay , great question . And previously

1:10:15

in my mathematics and I meant that 100%

1:10:18

with the , with the 38%

1:10:20

carrot , 62%

1:10:22

, excuse me , 38% stick

1:10:24

, 62%

1:10:26

carrot . 80% mental

1:10:29

, 97% physical , i meant that second

1:10:31

one . But a lot of times what

1:10:33

drives behavioral change is guilt , fear and shame . For

1:10:35

example , i don't like who I

1:10:37

the amount of times that I've

1:10:39

worked with someone who said I hate looking at myself

1:10:41

in the mirror and a real story . A lady

1:10:43

that I worked with once said that a few times who

1:10:46

was a mother who had

1:10:48

competed in you know was was amazing

1:10:50

person . And

1:10:52

when this person said this this one day , i said you

1:10:55

know what you got ? to cut yourself some slack because that

1:10:57

, that thing , that , that that body

1:10:59

that you just said you don't appreciate

1:11:01

at the moment and use the word hate , that

1:11:03

that thing bore your child . How do

1:11:06

you feel about your body now ? Cut

1:11:08

yourself some slack and realize this amazing

1:11:10

thing called your body that you just

1:11:12

expressed a stain for is the

1:11:14

very same thing that brought your beautiful

1:11:17

daughter into your life ? Or is

1:11:19

the very same thing to another person that

1:11:21

enabled you to to hike

1:11:24

up that mountain ? And now you're telling me you don't

1:11:26

like it . So how about you step

1:11:28

back , i'm going to smack you in the face , metaphorically

1:11:30

, sometimes , honestly , i do , you

1:11:33

know , um so to to answer your question

1:11:35

in another way , but sometimes you do need to to cut

1:11:38

the shit and don't say that at

1:11:41

the right time . That's a really effective strategy . Sometimes

1:11:44

can go wrong , though , but so now , what are you going to do ? coaches

1:11:46

, but what ? what will drive

1:11:48

behavioral change is guilt , fear and shame , as

1:11:50

in at the moment . I don't like how I feel

1:11:52

, i don't like how I look . I saw this

1:11:55

bloody habit . My industry

1:11:57

, aaron , the advertising behind

1:11:59

my industry sometimes makes me sick . It's all about

1:12:01

guilt . You're not worthy

1:12:03

because and you know what If you

1:12:05

look like this person on this advertisement

1:12:08

, you'd finally be happy , you know

1:12:10

. And so it's . It's mobilizing

1:12:12

the masses out of geez

1:12:14

. If only I look like that , i'm finally be happy .

1:12:17

You know what I mean . And then that's

1:12:19

the biggest .

1:12:19

Yeah , it's not true Every commercial but

1:12:22

why it's great from my perspective too

1:12:24

, if you explore both sides . Where

1:12:26

can it be ? great is , yes , because

1:12:29

you just what ? what drive ? how can people become

1:12:31

motivated ? And sometimes it is . It's

1:12:33

the stick , and that's fine . If you start

1:12:35

at 80% stick and you're only 20%

1:12:38

carrot , that's fine . Your coach's role

1:12:40

is to change that equation and

1:12:42

you may spend some time at 80%

1:12:44

. I just you

1:12:47

know I I eat bad food , so I need

1:12:49

to punish myself . Okay , i understand

1:12:51

where you are now , so we'll run with that . And

1:12:53

then what you're going to find is the more that you invest

1:12:55

in beautiful

1:12:57

movement and loaded movement and good

1:13:00

training and and consistency

1:13:02

, which is the magic source behind

1:13:04

everything . You may not be motivated

1:13:06

now , but with with time you will find motivation

1:13:08

, and sometimes I

1:13:11

speak too fast , but sometimes

1:13:13

motivation can be a cop

1:13:15

out as well , cause I sometimes I think that that

1:13:17

I'm motivated to do this now . So

1:13:19

does that mean that I

1:13:22

only , i'll only put in when I

1:13:24

feel good ? I once had a coach

1:13:26

that said to me and

1:13:30

I thought it was really hard when he said it to me at first

1:13:32

He said I don't , i don't care how you feel

1:13:34

, all I care is what you do out

1:13:36

on the field And I thought , well

1:13:38

, that's a bit heartless , mate , didn't

1:13:41

that ? You know what I mean ? But but actually it

1:13:43

was a . It was a beautiful and

1:13:46

poignant , lovely slap

1:13:48

in the face because it

1:13:50

doesn't matter Sometimes . It doesn't matter how I

1:13:52

feel , Like I don't feel like eating

1:13:55

good food all the time , i don't feel or I

1:13:57

don't feel like exercise , okay

1:13:59

, but no , there's a cause and effect . If

1:14:01

you don't ever feel like exercising

1:14:03

, then what's the outcome there

1:14:05

? Okay , are you okay with feeling

1:14:08

like shit all the time ? Are

1:14:10

you okay with increased likelihood of joint

1:14:13

pain ? Are you ain't okay ? And research

1:14:15

will suggest dark clouds and increased

1:14:18

likelihood of anxiety , depression

1:14:20

. Are you okay with that ? No , okay

1:14:22

, doesn't matter how you feel today , get

1:14:25

out and lift the weights or even just

1:14:27

just put your shoes on . And

1:14:29

a great another learning , great moment for me to learn

1:14:31

being a coach working

1:14:33

with someone And that was struggling

1:14:35

to get results , and we broke

1:14:38

it down into such small , manageable

1:14:40

steps . You know what ? Like I said to you

1:14:42

, drink a glass of water , not Aaron

1:14:44

, but Aaron , the person that , the mythical

1:14:46

creature , aaron , but

1:14:49

this , this person that I work with . Okay , success

1:14:51

for you tomorrow is putting on your sneakers . Get

1:14:53

them out tonight and put them at the base

1:14:55

of your bed . And when you get up and want to put your shoes on

1:14:57

, that's success . And once

1:15:00

you've got your shoes on , the likelihood of

1:15:02

you walking out the door and just

1:15:04

walking around the block is higher . So we

1:15:06

, we we link small

1:15:08

, seemingly innocuous behaviors

1:15:10

that will create a chain reaction to

1:15:12

get you where you want . So back

1:15:15

to your motivation . There's

1:15:18

a lot of stuff I may not listen to your story

1:15:20

and I'm motivated . So there is stuff out there

1:15:22

that we can invest in . We can find it on

1:15:24

social media . Remember , it's an amplifier . Everything is good and bad

1:15:27

. There's so much cool stuff out

1:15:29

there , like when I heard your story and

1:15:31

see what you've done . That's

1:15:34

why that's motivating . It's amazing

1:15:36

. So I can tap into that

1:15:38

. That can help me . But sometimes

1:15:40

I'm not going to feel , feel like it . So

1:15:42

how can you inoculate yourself

1:15:44

to doing something when you're not feeling like

1:15:46

it ? Buddy up , join

1:15:48

a team , make a commitment , pay for

1:15:51

it . You know you don't have the money for it . That's

1:15:53

, you don't need to have the money , but you

1:15:55

just need a mate . If you don't have the

1:15:57

mate , okay , cool , invest in a team

1:15:59

. If you don't have the team , okay , invest

1:16:02

in an app or just put your

1:16:04

shoes on and walk out the door and see

1:16:06

what happens when you get out there . But you got to

1:16:08

do something . Don't rely on motivation alone

1:16:10

.

1:16:10

I feel like one of the things that worked for me in the

1:16:12

past is like sharing that thing

1:16:15

with someone , because most

1:16:17

of us care how we are perceived

1:16:19

by other people and we

1:16:22

just dip down . We just don't want disappoint other

1:16:24

people if we don't make it happen .

1:16:27

And , in the end , why don't we be accountable

1:16:30

to ourselves ? Like you

1:16:33

know what I did with my mates those guys that I paddled with

1:16:35

just sort

1:16:37

of been a dickhead , but I sort of went

1:16:39

guys , on my 70th

1:16:41

birthday , we're going to paddle to this round

1:16:43

island again And I

1:16:45

want to do this on my 70th birthday . You know what I did that day

1:16:47

. I went home and I went to

1:16:50

my phone and I

1:16:52

made an invitation for

1:16:54

my birthday . Just say , i turned 50th

1:16:56

, 2023 . I

1:16:58

created an invitation for

1:17:00

2043 , my 70th birthday

1:17:03

And I sent you know on the phone and you

1:17:05

have to accept , deny , i created

1:17:07

this and I made an appointment for

1:17:09

my 70th birthday with this circle

1:17:11

of my really good mates And I sent them to them

1:17:14

. So , anyway , it's yeah , can

1:17:16

I challenge ?

1:17:16

you on that thought , please ? Why do you want ?

1:17:18

me to love it .

1:17:20

Why do you have to wait till your 70th birthday

1:17:23

? Why kind of be your next birthday ?

1:17:24

No , no . So the rationale

1:17:26

or my thinking behind that

1:17:28

was guys , i love doing this

1:17:31

And let's make a commitment to each other

1:17:33

, that unspoken what I was

1:17:35

trying to say to my mates I

1:17:37

love doing this so much And I love

1:17:39

feeling good so much And I want

1:17:42

you guys to also feel good

1:17:44

and I love hanging out with you . Let's

1:17:46

keep doing this and look after ourselves

1:17:48

and make a commitment to each

1:17:50

other that on my 70th birthday , we're

1:17:53

going to show up for each other and we're going to paddled

1:17:55

around Ireland from the Victoria Recreation Club

1:17:57

. We're going to paddled around Ireland . We're going to do a body

1:17:59

weight workout . We might wrestle , we

1:18:01

might not have your hands and feet up anymore , i don't know

1:18:03

, maybe we will , but we're going to do something similar

1:18:07

to what we're doing today . So

1:18:09

I and I and I it is something that

1:18:11

I carry with me . Like you know , i have many voices

1:18:14

. Andrew , don't forget about your kids . You

1:18:16

want to be here for your wife . Don't forget about that

1:18:18

commitment you made for your 70th birthday

1:18:20

to be strong and vibrant

1:18:23

, to get on your prone paddle board and paddle out

1:18:25

around Ireland with a couple of your best

1:18:27

mates and have a great time and have a workout

1:18:29

. That was the rationale behind I'm doing

1:18:31

it . Yes , i can do that for my next 51st

1:18:33

birthday 100% . But I want

1:18:36

commitment from you , you and

1:18:38

you and you . You know to

1:18:40

say that you're going to be with me on my 70th . Don't

1:18:42

let me down . Your sons are bitches And

1:18:45

they won't . They won't . You want to call them out here

1:18:47

? Call them up now .

1:18:48

No , you want to cross . Where are you , mate , Rob Dave

1:18:51

?

1:18:51

George , all those boys , great blokes

1:18:53

. But yeah , and you

1:18:55

know what , let's take this a step further

1:18:57

and then come back to you because you're going to ask me about the

1:19:00

beer thing , and so let's , because it's super

1:19:02

important . But you

1:19:04

know , you know the research you are . You

1:19:06

want to know how you're going . Have a look at your five

1:19:08

closest people And

1:19:10

you know the energy

1:19:12

that you bring is contagious and

1:19:15

the people that you surround yourself with is

1:19:17

contagious for you as well . So

1:19:19

if you want to have a look at how you're going , just have

1:19:21

a look at the people that you hang around with the most and

1:19:24

just say there's behaviors there that

1:19:27

are not in alignment with who you are . Then

1:19:29

weigh up a way to

1:19:31

change that . Whether that means getting

1:19:33

new mates , i don't know , or whether that means looking

1:19:35

after your mate a little bit more Yeah

1:19:38

. Or just saying to your mate you know , dude

1:19:40

, you're drinking a lot . Why are you drinking

1:19:43

so much ? I'm not going to drink with you anymore . Seriously

1:19:45

, you're my best mate . If it is your best mate

1:19:47

, or you're my good mate , why are you drinking so much

1:19:49

? And just to have a , have

1:19:51

a meaningful conversation with someone and bring

1:19:54

awareness . You don't have to be a psychologist

1:19:56

, a coach , to just say to your mate

1:19:59

I picked alcohol

1:20:01

as a behavior . Might be smoking , whatever , but

1:20:03

the role of a friend is to support a friend and say

1:20:05

that's a behavior that I don't want . I'm

1:20:08

looking at the people that I surround myself with , and

1:20:11

two of my five are drinking a

1:20:13

lot . I don't want to drink a lot , but

1:20:15

when I'm there . So I'm just going to say have you

1:20:17

ever offended anyone ? Oh

1:20:19

my God . Geez

1:20:22

, what's that ? Is the Pope Catholic ? Yeah , i have , but I'm getting

1:20:24

better at managing And

1:20:27

you know , but that was that

1:20:29

was a learning moment . When I fended , i

1:20:31

would also . I was a competitive I'll probably still

1:20:33

name I was a competitive bastard when I was younger And so

1:20:35

I would go and I wait to offend people

1:20:37

, sometimes not to

1:20:39

the best outcome for me , sometimes it

1:20:42

would be . But yes , but

1:20:44

I , you know that I think learning

1:20:47

to , to manage people . When

1:20:49

you run a business or you're in leadership , you

1:20:52

know you learn to manage

1:20:54

people and sometimes I make mistakes

1:20:56

, without a doubt , but I'm

1:20:58

getting better at

1:21:01

, if I have offended someone , to

1:21:03

search within myself why did you do that ? And then

1:21:05

go to them to say to

1:21:08

work it out . In a way , i'm getting better

1:21:10

at that .

1:21:11

Yeah , so I was going to ask you a question

1:21:13

about that beer . Yes , i guess , scientifically

1:21:15

, drinking a bottle of beer after basketball

1:21:18

is probably not a good thing to our body .

1:21:20

But then you mentioned No , no man of alcohol

1:21:22

is good for you , Brian . But you know what It's not good

1:21:24

. It's not bad to hang out with your mates .

1:21:26

Yeah . And then you mentioned about the social gathering , obviously

1:21:28

, the race of the host , the host and et cetera , the benefits

1:21:31

to , to your , to your inner body

1:21:33

, right ? So , yeah

1:21:35

, how , what , what is your view Like after

1:21:37

two hours of basketball ? I'm going out to

1:21:39

a pizza , maybe a share , a bottle

1:21:41

of wine and some beer with some mates

1:21:43

, right , right , yeah .

1:21:45

I would say that is , that is the optimal

1:21:47

behaviour , because , as I said to

1:21:49

you before

1:21:52

, we're walking in a bundle of habits and sometimes , when

1:21:55

I get asked questions , there's like

1:21:57

this replay button , because this is what I do every day

1:21:59

. So I'm just going to say this thing that I've said

1:22:01

so many times . And the thing that I've

1:22:03

said so many times is social

1:22:07

isolation will kill you long before

1:22:09

dreaded carbohydrates and

1:22:11

a couple of beers will , without a doubt . You know

1:22:13

, i mean , if you had a went home and we're

1:22:15

talking about the majority of your behaviour if you

1:22:17

go home , if you say to your mates one night , you know what

1:22:20

, boys , i'm just going home and I'm

1:22:22

going to have . No

1:22:24

, i'm going to go home , i'm going to have steak and eggs and green

1:22:26

vegetables and mushrooms and you

1:22:28

know , wow , that's an amazing meal , aaron

1:22:30

, a great , great follow up to a good workout , good protein

1:22:32

, good , good vegetables and minerals and all that sort

1:22:34

of stuff . Well , that's amazing . But you're going to sit at home by

1:22:36

yourself . Your wife and your kids are out . You're going to sit

1:22:39

at home by yourself . If you do that all the time

1:22:41

, then you

1:22:43

know , social isolation will kill you long before we're

1:22:45

a social animal . So so

1:22:47

the , the affront to your system

1:22:49

of having a pizza and

1:22:51

drinking some beers is is mitigated

1:22:54

, is inoculated almost by the

1:22:56

social connection that you get . You

1:22:58

know we're tribal , so you

1:23:01

know if , if

1:23:03

, if the , the directory choices

1:23:05

you make , isolate you , then

1:23:08

I don't believe that's a great choice

1:23:10

for long-term health . And

1:23:12

I know what you're saying . You know sometimes that

1:23:15

plant-based , you know

1:23:17

to be a , to be a vegan , i would find

1:23:19

that difficult in my life to connect with my

1:23:21

friends . You know we're tribal , but

1:23:23

maybe what that might do if I am a plant-based

1:23:25

person , of vegan , then that might make a circle

1:23:28

. I would . I guess what I mean are these other people

1:23:30

who are vegans and they're my mates . So I'm not socially

1:23:32

isolated . Sometimes your dietary choices will

1:23:34

open up a new tribe

1:23:36

and that's cool . But just just

1:23:38

always think , don't

1:23:41

drink in excess , aaron . You know very

1:23:43

often very , not very much at all , but

1:23:45

do drink a few beers with your mates and do have

1:23:48

pizza with your mate And you

1:23:50

know that that that connection

1:23:52

with your friends is so good for your

1:23:54

mental and emotional

1:23:56

health . You know having having I

1:23:58

always say this you know I played team sports mostly

1:24:00

on my life And

1:24:03

being around a team of other people . It's

1:24:05

. It's like you excuse

1:24:07

my language it's like you're dickhead or meter

1:24:09

, if you know if you're . If you're behaving like

1:24:11

a , like an idiot , your mates will go Coco

1:24:14

, what are you doing ? You're going on like a pork chop

1:24:16

. He's , he's an Australian , you're not . You're

1:24:18

behaving in a way that's not cool

1:24:20

And your mates are there and you're like , yeah , i was

1:24:22

. Whew , if I'm by myself

1:24:24

, i might and realize that . So it's . It's good to have

1:24:27

that connection for so many reasons

1:24:29

. So having having that beer

1:24:31

and pizza with your mates is really good

1:24:33

for your health . We're tribal . We need authentic

1:24:36

human connection . Yes , is

1:24:38

alcohol bad for your brain ? 100% . But

1:24:40

when you weigh it up , the , the , the gain

1:24:43

is far , far higher

1:24:45

from hanging out with your friends than a , than a couple of beers

1:24:47

with your mates . So you got to connect

1:24:49

, Yeah , we got to connect with social

1:24:51

animals , yeah .

1:24:53

On on relationship . Are you an extrovert

1:24:55

?

1:24:56

Yeah , I don't mind putting myself out there . I

1:24:59

do like moments where I just want to have

1:25:01

some Andrew time 100% . I

1:25:03

really enjoy , really enjoy hanging out

1:25:05

with me . Yeah , i'm not a bad bloke to hang

1:25:08

out with when I'm by myself , i so , but

1:25:10

I do like being

1:25:12

with people as well . So I would say I'm

1:25:15

more on the extrovert side than the introvert .

1:25:17

So I guess the question that I want to ask

1:25:19

more on behalf of the introverts

1:25:22

right , i guess , as we age , we

1:25:24

are making we have less and less friends

1:25:26

in our social circle . Right

1:25:29

, people get married , they have kids , they have other priorities

1:25:32

, they , you know , they

1:25:34

, they move aboard that sort of thing , right , yeah

1:25:36

, that's real . So for

1:25:38

people who are struggling to find meaningful relationships

1:25:41

, like people like yourself , right , What

1:25:43

can they do ? Right ?

1:25:46

Time is a big one , isn't it ? Health

1:25:49

is a big one as well . So I'm going to play

1:25:51

this from two ways . A

1:25:53

few years ago , we

1:25:56

started looking at performance

1:25:58

and we said you know what we've

1:26:01

really got good at this time management thing , what

1:26:04

else can we play with ? And then then we started

1:26:06

looking at something called energy management , meaning

1:26:08

, you know what time management , andrew

1:26:11

, you have a certain amount of work

1:26:13

to do and you need to get it done in

1:26:15

one hour . And then the

1:26:17

subjective nature of that is remember

1:26:19

, aaron , that turns up every day and I need to find

1:26:21

out where you are so I can meet you where you need to be met . The

1:26:24

subjective nature of that is if , if

1:26:27

I'm feeling motivated

1:26:29

, or if I'm feeling vital and I have

1:26:31

good energy , then the likelihood

1:26:33

of me getting more done in

1:26:36

the same amount of time is pretty

1:26:38

high , wouldn't you agree ? Whereas if , if

1:26:40

I'm feeling deflated and tired

1:26:43

and lethargic I got three hours sleep last

1:26:45

night , i had the coffee , i had

1:26:47

the gris on , i had crap food , i've

1:26:49

got some stuff going on with my

1:26:52

business , my wife , my mates , there's , i'm loaded

1:26:54

then the likelihood of me being effective

1:26:56

in that hour is pretty small . So

1:26:59

back

1:27:01

to your question , i would say

1:27:04

, if , if you in because I'm

1:27:06

part of it is everybody thinks , man

1:27:08

, my dance card is really full . You're

1:27:10

telling me I got one of

1:27:12

. Now it is . Who is

1:27:15

good with the hammer things . Everything is an hour . I'm about to say

1:27:17

look at investing some time in a team sport

1:27:20

or hiking with friends

1:27:22

or getting outdoors . And a lot of people

1:27:24

are saying , geez , if

1:27:27

you saw my week , my dance card is pretty full

1:27:29

. So to that I would

1:27:31

say , okay , bring awareness and have a look at it And

1:27:33

if it is okay , cool . Can

1:27:36

I suggest to you that the

1:27:38

first thing that you do is you invest in your

1:27:40

vitality , your own energy , and that

1:27:42

might mean get up tomorrow . Here he goes again

1:27:44

. Get up tomorrow and drink a glass of water . It's honestly

1:27:47

everyone . The first thing

1:27:49

you do tomorrow is get up and have a glass

1:27:51

of water . Your day will be better . Your body

1:27:53

craves water . Break fast

1:27:55

, break fast , break the fast . Whether or not you eat in the morning

1:27:57

because of this time restricted feeding thing

1:27:59

doesn't matter , but but drink water

1:28:01

, drink a lot of water in the morning . It's a great

1:28:03

thing to do . Invest

1:28:06

in ways in which you can increase your energy

1:28:08

via drinking enough

1:28:10

water , via eating good foods

1:28:13

And that's not hard . You're going to eat something anyway . Why

1:28:15

don't you make a better choice ? Why

1:28:17

don't you eat foods , the majority of the

1:28:19

foods that you eat ? you set it 80

1:28:21

20 rule And if you're not

1:28:23

currently sick or

1:28:25

in chronic pain , then 80 20 rule cuts

1:28:28

it . But if you're in chronic pain

1:28:30

and you want to get out of it , then 80

1:28:32

20 rule is not enough . To be honest , you need to go

1:28:34

more to the 1090 10 rule , but

1:28:36

stay to that 20 rule

1:28:38

. And another simple direction there is there's

1:28:40

advertising behind your food . Don't eat

1:28:42

it . So simple . Seriously

1:28:45

, when was the last time , aaron , that you saw that advertising

1:28:47

campaign on eat broccoli ? now

1:28:49

You know you don't . There's none

1:28:51

. Eat this great vegetable

1:28:54

. There's none . But when was the last time

1:28:56

that you saw advertising on every

1:28:58

processed food on the market

1:29:01

? Supplements . Yeah there's so many

1:29:03

supplements . Have a have a role , have

1:29:05

a role . But anyway , back

1:29:07

to eat real food . Go

1:29:10

back to your great grandfather or your

1:29:12

great , great , great , great great grandfather . He

1:29:14

turned up in the room . He would be able to recognize

1:29:16

that as food , a lot of the foods that

1:29:18

if someone you know from from our

1:29:20

past , a couple hundred years ago , look up and go

1:29:22

what That's food

1:29:24

? that bright blue things , food get out

1:29:27

of here . You're going to eat that . That's food . Wow

1:29:29

, you need an advertising campaign to convince

1:29:31

me that that's food . So back

1:29:33

to creating vitality to

1:29:35

free up the time , so you

1:29:38

can connect and make

1:29:40

more friends , be more socially extroverted

1:29:42

and feel that you have meaningful connections . Honestly

1:29:44

, look at

1:29:46

ways to increase your vitality , get more done

1:29:48

in less time and or even

1:29:51

get get the same amount done in

1:29:53

the same amount of time . But guess what , instead

1:29:55

of going home after work and

1:29:57

needing a glass of wine

1:29:59

and television to shut

1:30:01

down because work just beat me up today , babe , please

1:30:04

don't speak to me , i just need some time because

1:30:06

I'm work chewed me up

1:30:08

and spat me out today and your wife's thinking well , that was

1:30:10

yesterday as well And that was last week as well , what's

1:30:12

changed . So if

1:30:14

you increase your vitality , you

1:30:16

have the same amount of your

1:30:18

energy . If you increase your energy and vitality

1:30:21

, you have the same amount of commitments and

1:30:23

and you need to get the same

1:30:25

amount done . But guess what ? After work you go home

1:30:27

, you're like oh yeah , okay

1:30:30

, i will go for a hike up the peak , or I will

1:30:32

go for a walk with you and the kids , or I will go

1:30:34

down , if you live in a place where

1:30:36

you can , and I'll play badminton with the kids or play table

1:30:38

tennis or play chess with the kids . That's the difference

1:30:41

. So my

1:30:43

strongest suggestion is

1:30:45

look at ways to increase

1:30:47

the energy that you bring to your day . It's not

1:30:49

going to happen every day

1:30:51

. You know I maybe I'm

1:30:54

fanatical . Is there a

1:30:56

word that come over the

1:30:58

way that I treat myself ? I love it . You know , i really

1:31:00

like to feel good . And Sunday wakeboarding

1:31:02

and doing all this cool stuff I just thought that was so cool

1:31:04

. I didn't have any drinks and everyone was drinking , sort

1:31:06

of felt a bit weird , but but I just

1:31:08

had the best time and and

1:31:10

I loved it . I want

1:31:13

to do it again . I want to keep doing it . So that's

1:31:15

what drives me to look after myself . So

1:31:18

I would say to people

1:31:20

, to find ways that you can honestly increase

1:31:22

your vitality , and it's not hard . We just said it water , good

1:31:25

food and get some movement , and guess

1:31:27

what ? You're not going to feel good all the time . That's

1:31:29

fine . And what I was about to say before I got sidetracked

1:31:31

was I still have pain in

1:31:33

my left shoulder , in my right ankle

1:31:36

, but I don't stop , i find a work around and

1:31:38

I just manipulate what I'm doing . So

1:31:40

you know , just say I actually I heard

1:31:43

my back First of

1:31:45

all like for me it was serious

1:31:47

for the first time Really

1:31:49

for a long time I heard my back lifting and

1:31:53

I was stupid too . So I learned from it . But

1:31:55

I hurt my back and it changed my life for

1:31:57

three months . It changed my life , but I

1:31:59

didn't stop . I just didn't lift heavy

1:32:01

again And I just found things that I could do . That

1:32:03

was still meaningful to me . But I found what

1:32:05

I call it a work around And

1:32:07

my suggestion to you is always find a work

1:32:09

around , because life is going to bring

1:32:12

you pain . You know , as you age

1:32:14

, honestly , it's going to bring you pain . And

1:32:16

when you read out that part , what

1:32:19

was written on the website about pain free . I would

1:32:21

actually I want to change that now , because

1:32:23

you

1:32:25

never , you're never going to maintain this pain

1:32:27

, pain free ideology . It doesn't

1:32:29

. And it's great marketing pain free

1:32:31

And we all want it . Oh , i'm going to run towards run

1:32:33

away from pain and run towards freedom of

1:32:36

pain . It's , it's , might

1:32:38

be a reality . There's always going to be something . But

1:32:41

don't let it stop . You just find

1:32:43

a work around . If you can't lift heavy anymore , that's

1:32:45

awesome . Get in the pool or

1:32:47

find a way that you can move

1:32:49

That's a great thing about coach and someone who knows by

1:32:51

mechanics or or just explore

1:32:53

, but don't stop . Don't

1:32:56

stop , which goes back to motivation . When you're in pain

1:32:58

, your motivation is gone . It's more important

1:33:00

than ever to

1:33:02

build vitality So you can build

1:33:04

a friendship . If you're an introvert , which

1:33:06

means that you will find that buddy

1:33:08

or that team that now I'm lacking

1:33:10

motivation because my left shoulders

1:33:12

actually my left elbow as well , bloody

1:33:15

hell , my left elbow still saw , but

1:33:18

that can deflate me a little bit . But I know

1:33:20

I've got my mates on Thursday and Saturday , so , no matter

1:33:22

what , i'm going to turn up for them . So , to answer

1:33:24

your question , i just did because

1:33:26

if you invest in your vitality water

1:33:29

, food , movement then

1:33:31

at the end of the day God forbid guys you

1:33:33

get home from work and you've got energy to play chess

1:33:36

with your kids or go for a hike with your wife

1:33:38

or hang out with your mates , play basketball . Amazing

1:33:41

that It's not going to happen by itself . You've got to do something

1:33:43

. You build your vitality , the energy management

1:33:45

part , get more done in less time or get

1:33:47

the same amount done and have access , energy to

1:33:50

meaningfully connect with life outside of work

1:33:53

. Have a hobby , then that's the way

1:33:55

, and then that behavior leads

1:33:57

to a social connection . And

1:33:59

then the more I'm in a social environment , the

1:34:02

more relaxed that I feel , the more

1:34:04

fun that I have when I go have a beer and a pizza with you

1:34:06

. Maybe the first time , aaron , i go and

1:34:08

have a beer with you and your mates playing basketball , i

1:34:11

might not speak too much , but I guarantee

1:34:13

you the next time I come back I'm going to feel more relaxed

1:34:15

and I'll speak more . Now I guarantee you , if I

1:34:17

do that 10 times , i'll be relaxed

1:34:19

and I'll be sitting there talking

1:34:21

about stuff . That's

1:34:24

just the way we are . Some people acclimate

1:34:27

faster , but consistency

1:34:29

is the magic source just about

1:34:32

in everything . If I want to feel more

1:34:34

relaxed with you and your mates and if I don't

1:34:36

feel comfortable once , okay , but I've got

1:34:38

to give it a bigger shot than that , or move on

1:34:40

.

1:34:41

Or move on .

1:34:42

You're right . Hold on feet on me out

1:34:44

of here . It's tired covering It depends on what's most

1:34:46

important to me .

1:34:47

It's tired covering for a long time and

1:34:49

it's tired trying to be somebody that you're not

1:34:51

. So I think the point that you mentioned about tribe

1:34:54

, I think it's important to find the social

1:34:56

circle where you can bring your most

1:34:58

authentic self and your true self

1:35:00

to the gathering . Yeah , it's too hot being someone

1:35:02

else And if people judge you , people don't accept you who you are

1:35:05

. Just find someone else . We got 8 billion

1:35:07

people on this planet .

1:35:09

We should be able to find one mate Should be 8 billion

1:35:11

of us . Goodness Taurus

1:35:14

is just over there . There's one and a half billion of them . There's

1:35:16

got to be some good blokes there .

1:35:17

I've got one last question and I

1:35:20

want to web before I ask this question . I'm sorry

1:35:22

. After I ask this question , i want to web up this episode

1:35:25

by asking you to show us