0:01

starts playing. Prahine said

0:03

he wants to demeanise the future

0:06

of humankind.

0:27

Life, it has been said, is a pretty

0:29

scary thing. You didn't ask for

0:31

it. It comes with all sorts of problems, and

0:33

when you're finally rid of it, your departure just

0:36

creates even more of one of the great horrors

0:38

of existence. Paperwork. It

0:41

was observations such as these that led

0:43

researchers at even greater London's Institute of

0:45

Psycho-urbanology to attempt to catalogue once and

0:48

for all the known varieties of fear.

0:51

First and lowest in severity was mortal

0:54

terror, the natural evolution response

0:56

to things that might bring about your sudden

0:58

end. Cliff edges, pointy stabby

1:00

things, roiling oceans and small pets walking in

1:02

front of you with the top of the

1:04

stairs to demonstrate their love and their failure

1:07

to understand most things. The

1:10

most serious form of fear, the researchers

1:12

documented, however, was what they designated JDS,

1:38

the Just Downright Spooky.

1:41

Things that go bump in the night, ghostly

1:43

faces reflected in windows, and children at the

1:46

foot of your bed staring motionless at you,

1:48

and asking for an ice cream when you

1:50

have neither ice cream nor children. These

1:53

sorts of things are just downright spooky.

1:56

They can be tolerated here and there, but the human

1:58

mind is just not meant to enjoy it. Such

2:00

heebie jeebies for long and those who

2:02

encounter them too much and end up

2:04

changed, withdrawn, growing dangerously far from those

2:07

around them, like a man in a

2:09

rowboat swept out to see. Men:

2:11

Such as the one now sharing his

2:14

courage with Inspector Fleet and Clara and

2:16

to so who had undertaken emissions from

2:18

Scotland Yard to discover what lay behind

2:20

the rumors of a vicious, unnatural beast

2:23

terrorizing the cities. and what in fact,

2:25

if not that which it could not

2:27

be was doing all the killing. Mr.

2:33

Diverse me tells me you're

2:35

a hunter. Nine

2:38

It is a terrible birth. And

2:42

if you please it hasn't missed.

2:44

I am Fost de Monte Newington

2:46

the fourteenth diverse and your friends

2:48

would call you a man claimed

2:50

to be my friend inspector he

2:52

would be lying out. Call him

2:54

an ambulance it is critical first

2:56

and then perform the injuries that

2:58

so close as felonious and you

3:00

will see the including people around

3:02

the same. I do not think

3:04

I know, I know, I need

3:06

your. Help to catch it to catch

3:09

a beast which isn't real. I show

3:11

you Inspector. the beast is every bit

3:13

as real as you or I. It's

3:15

not that. carry on. I had my

3:17

suspicions from the news accounts to the

3:19

victims wounds. although I desperately hugs could

3:21

not be what I see. I attended

3:23

a lecture of Miss Bad with Home

3:25

in case you chanced upon anything but

3:27

she's just as much as Charlatan as

3:29

I assumed the Now with this photograph

3:31

in your newspaper Miss into a So

3:33

they can be. No doubt they really

3:35

can. It depicts the. Beast clearly it's at

3:38

the end of a street, going round a

3:40

corner. It's blurry and it's nice. I'm not

3:42

convinced it's not a bit of heads. I

3:44

think august enough to things within society want

3:46

to advertise sex or that doesn't mean it

3:49

doesn't trigger the licensing. All of existence

3:51

is a trick of the light miss and

3:53

to as. I can see

3:55

you both need more education on the subject. Good.

3:59

I can help. We

4:01

have arrived Mrs. Missing High Street or

4:03

that use I use to secret hideaway.

4:05

Perhaps I am. It doesn't look

4:07

their secret. Those restaurants a pet. Ah,

4:10

they were. Is it just a trick

4:12

of the light? Thank

4:15

you Rutland as well. What

4:19

if it is a bloody good

4:21

one Them and she's got carbon

4:23

our on himself. Things are not

4:25

always what they seem inspector know,

4:27

but they usually are. And when

4:29

they are not so they are

4:31

maybe ninety nine percent of the

4:33

time. And in that final percent,

4:35

that is where the truth hides

4:37

in weight, cowering from the blinding

4:39

darkness. Of closed minds

4:41

and disbelievers? What?

4:45

My will explain everything. Fleet.

4:50

And Cloris stepped out of the carriage and look for any

4:52

sign of where they might be going. All.

4:55

Along the street run shops close for the

4:57

evening and restaurants to a lively trade. Above

5:00

that was flats in offices with signs

5:02

in the window promising typical London services

5:04

will forging armaments The bicycle pun uses

5:07

mediation between you and your impostor, or

5:09

since there's really no way of knowing

5:11

you and your impulse t that sort

5:13

of thing. There. Was

5:16

no way that seem very much like a

5:18

hideaway until the breeze that fleet and clara

5:20

to a narrow shop. It's small windows caked

5:22

in enough grime to seem like wolves. And.

5:24

Revealing through them to the highly determined

5:26

pika a murky view of furniture, cooking

5:29

utensils, toys, clothes and other items with

5:31

nothing in common except the thick layer

5:33

of dust in a shockingly high prices.

5:37

The sign on the shops door red

5:39

Cross Austin's everyday unnecessary is by appointment

5:41

only. Pleasing. Quiet elsewhere. Degrees.

5:45

Unlocked the door and the three travel silently

5:47

to the shop. Down. Into a

5:49

basement, through a winding corridor, back up,

5:51

and finally to a large wooden door.

5:54

Fleet. and car have found themselves in a

5:56

great stone whole fan as an orange white

5:59

and gold on from the ceiling, some

6:01

bearing an ornate coat of arms depicting a

6:03

knight's helmet flanked by two griffins. Medieval

6:06

swords, maces and pole arms adorned

6:08

the ancient walls, and the investigators

6:10

were left with the distinct impression

6:12

of having stepped, not so much

6:14

back in time as out of

6:16

it, into an imagined English past

6:18

of Arthurian knights, magicians, and tables

6:20

without corners. An age of

6:22

myth and legend, a history of a

6:24

Britain that never was. Please

6:27

wait here a moment. I will return.

6:32

Are we in a castle? Thirteenth century by

6:34

the looks of it. He said he

6:36

was a baron. It's not that

6:38

unusual for a noble family. There are

6:41

lots of castles dotted around. Inside London?

6:43

That part is quite odd. Where even

6:45

was it? We just came through a shop. There's

6:48

a pharmacist next door. And who has a

6:50

hidden castle? Someone who wants to keep

6:52

it. Of course. The

6:55

locusts who call themselves engineers

6:58

and urban planners, they

7:00

are blind to history. In

7:03

their zeal to expand the city they

7:05

saw in castles, only inefficient

7:07

uses of stone. And

7:10

so most were torn down, their

7:12

carcasses scattered across the land. Castle

7:15

de Vries remains only because of

7:18

my grandfather, a clever man

7:20

who foresaw it all. Everything

7:22

on Mitting High Street he built. The

7:25

shops, the restaurants, the

7:27

offices. To serve one

7:29

purpose and one purpose only.

7:31

The provision of goods and services? Camouflage.

7:35

A shield of city. Every brick, every

7:37

beam precisely placed so that no part

7:40

of the castle can be seen. Is

7:42

that why all those houses have picked roofs

7:45

like Alpine Chalet? Precisely. And

7:47

the towers are scaffolding that look like they've been there for decades? Because

7:49

they have. And the billboard for

7:52

Bright's last ditch tonic. Before the last

7:54

rites, try a spoonful of Bright's. Actually,

7:56

no, that's not us. I've been

7:58

trying to speak to you. the council about that

8:01

below. Don't get me started. However,

8:03

my grandfather did also build the

8:06

country's only five-storey public house. And the

8:08

Shire Horse down the road. That's quite

8:10

a nice pub. It is quite a

8:12

nice deception and conceals the

8:14

castle's entire east wing. It also

8:17

does a possible roast on Sundays. Baron,

8:20

perhaps we should turn to the matter of the killings.

8:22

What can you tell us about the beast? The non-beast.

8:25

The so-called beast. And

8:27

why do you need our help? Questions?

8:30

Good. Curiosity is the engine

8:32

of the soul. But please,

8:34

you must be caught. Let

8:36

us go through to the parlor. It is the place

8:38

for speaking, after all. And a fire

8:40

is being prepared. Come. I

8:43

will explain everything. Thank

8:49

you, Rutland. That will be all. There's

8:52

a minute. Just

8:58

the two of you here? Nowadays, yes.

9:01

Rutland's been working for our family since I

9:03

was a small boy. And he

9:06

a mere 47-year-old man. I don't

9:08

know what I would do without him. Learn

9:10

to iron your own shirt, probably. His duties

9:12

go far beyond that, Inspector. He

9:15

is butler, driver, tailor,

9:17

cook, stablemaster, personal trainer,

9:20

medic, and quartermaster. That's

9:22

a lot of duties for one man. He

9:24

is ten men, and every one of them

9:26

essential to my work. Yes, and I really

9:28

do hesitate to ask, but what

9:31

work? You see

9:33

the portrait over the fire. That

9:35

is my forebear, Albert de Vries.

9:38

Your work is you paint historical portraits? I

9:40

can explain only by beginning at the beginning.

9:42

I'm sure that's not true. What if we

9:44

begin with now, maybe a one or absolute

9:47

maximum two sentence summary, and then we can

9:49

go back if we agree as a group

9:51

that in 1412, in 1412, Albert

9:53

de Vries came here from the Netherlands

9:57

with his wife and son

10:01

looking for work. He

10:03

became a blacksmith's apprentice in the village

10:05

of Little Grup, carrying

10:07

wood and cleaning the bellows. One

10:10

day a neighbor's child was found washed

10:12

up on the bank of the river,

10:14

drowned. A month later

10:16

another. Later the

10:19

daughter of the aldermen. There was

10:21

black hair near their bodies. Too

10:24

long for children. Too long

10:26

for anyone. Torn out,

10:28

perhaps, by the struggling youths.

10:32

It was the hair of Jenny Greenteeth,

10:34

a river hag. Of

10:37

course they searched for the hag but she hid

10:39

from all who were not weak. The

10:42

next month a grandmother was lost

10:44

to her and the young boy in her

10:46

care. No one knew

10:48

what could be done. Finally,

10:52

Elbert, this young Dutchman, barely

10:54

speaking the language, decided to

10:56

act. He disguised

10:58

himself as a hobbling old man with

11:00

a cane and waited by the riverside.

11:04

Eventually the hag rose her slimy

11:06

head from the waters, crawled

11:08

up the banks on her belly, wrapped

11:11

her pondweed-covered arms around him and

11:13

dragged him into the water. He

11:17

struggled for a minute, then fell

11:19

limp. The hag waited, then

11:22

waited some more. And

11:24

then finally, as Elbert was on

11:26

the very verge of a drowning

11:28

death, she let go, sure

11:31

of her victory. And

11:33

with his bare remaining breath, Elbert

11:36

pulled his cane apart, revealing a

11:38

dagger he had concealed within and

11:40

ended the hideous creature once

11:42

and for all. For

11:46

his bravery he was given a title and

11:48

the lands of the local lord who had not

11:50

acted. Elbert was

11:52

the first Baron de Vries, the

11:55

first of us to protect this land from the

11:58

horrors of our nightmares. Incredible.

12:01

Not credible. I am the fourteenth

12:03

Baron de Vries. The fourteenth to

12:05

carry our families, But the council's

12:08

heating bills, the protection of this

12:10

lands, and it's people from want

12:12

from the darkness. Miss. And to

12:14

us we have streetlights of at. For. Over

12:17

four hundred years the barons de vries

12:19

have carried out this duty. My.

12:21

Taste, son of Elbert drove out

12:23

a family of hub goblins that

12:26

was stealing grain from the Village

12:28

storehouse's Yacoub. Son of My Taste

12:30

trapped and destroyed the tricks to

12:32

imply whack It William son of

12:35

Yacoub cast out the haunting well

12:37

as a wisp and so on.

12:39

Every some his duty. Nice

12:42

to have a family business. And

12:44

why is it you think any of

12:46

this happened the same reason we believe

12:49

in any history inspector? We.

12:51

Have records from the time. I

12:54

do you believe the great walls of

12:56

the past took place of as difference

12:58

how at to there's a consensus you

13:00

appeal to watch. Every one tends to

13:02

believe. That is the foundation of your with

13:04

his demoted. Public. Opinion

13:07

Know historians. And

13:09

who decides who gets to call themselves

13:11

a historian? With.

13:13

A story ends with white and.

13:16

Have you yourself encountered any unusual

13:18

creatures? Than. My family has

13:20

not been called upon and over one

13:22

hundred years. These. Things: Do

13:24

Not enjoy the age of machines, they

13:26

do not enjoy factories and chimneys and

13:28

tram cause and street. They.

13:31

Retreated to the wilderness a long time ago. Ancient

13:34

woodlands and coastal crags. But.

13:37

Still, my family has always remained

13:39

prepared for their written by brewing

13:42

monster melting potions. Hydrochloric acid can

13:44

be acquired commercially inspector but know

13:46

that is not what I meant

13:49

by prepare. What did you

13:51

mean by and really do have some information

13:53

about whatever it is people think is a

13:55

beast or is this just a tour of

13:57

your castle all what is late. We

14:00

will discuss tomorrow. You. Must

14:02

rest here tonight. Oh no, we can

14:04

easily get home as underground not far

14:06

from we are well into the hours

14:08

of the Night Services Inspector It will

14:10

take you and recent whistle over forty

14:13

five minutes to reach your homes and

14:15

you may have to make several interconnections.

14:17

I cannot ask you to undertake such

14:19

a journey. Stay the night as my

14:21

guest related even just a few words

14:23

on this base theory and we can

14:25

just head off. Ah, Rutland you have

14:27

prepared their rooms. Good.

14:33

Until. The morning, then. Rest

14:35

well, In the daylight. And

14:38

will explain everything. Fleet.

14:43

And Clara will lead a way up into

14:45

the heart of the castle and along a

14:47

stone card or to their rooms where Rutland

14:49

murmured something that might have been the words

14:51

good night before shifting away to whatever his

14:53

next duty might be. And.

14:57

Of assets in a council before the cold.

14:59

Use all the blankets and good tip. You

15:01

think we're gonna get anything out of the

15:03

baron? I think says he seems to

15:05

know something. I wanted to. possibly neither would

15:07

help given everything else he seems to believe

15:10

that says. Goodnight. Said goodnight

15:12

Clara. Night.

15:16

And the three blankets Rutland had provided

15:18

weighs heavily over the to investigators and

15:21

they soon drifted to sleep. Their.

15:23

Rooms were dark and quiet. And

15:25

Casa de Vries rested sign at. A

15:28

haven of peace within a coffin, a

15:30

city until about five thirty. What

15:37

that? Ah. Car

15:41

Fleet Did you hear that? Did

15:43

I do the unholy screaming Know and stick?

15:45

my morning hallway inspection much nicer? Thank you

15:47

Rutland left it on my best might. Like

15:50

it he made that stuff. Name is in

15:52

the sits on the Rapper the Little mint

15:54

chocolate either Chocolate. Were

15:57

you doing? Debris

16:05

and what's wrong? Ah good morning. I

16:07

hope I did not wake you bit

16:09

of course he woke is your screaming

16:11

in an empty room. What is this?

16:14

Well of course it is. The castles

16:16

scream at all room. please be my

16:18

guest. Eastern us to death Baron I

16:20

do apologize I I'm so used to

16:22

living alone. You. Don't live alone. You.

16:25

Live with that and bird and hardly wake rocks

16:27

and he's always. Rutland.

16:29

When do you rise? As.

16:32

Early as that, you are

16:34

indefatigable. Why? Way screaming. All

16:36

part of training Inspector I

16:38

told you we'd have resist,

16:40

prepare and screaming helps with

16:43

fear. Mustn't whistle. It

16:45

turns out that the body can only

16:47

scream so much and once you've screamed

16:49

at all up, your impervious to any

16:51

external terror. Just one of many exercises

16:54

that form part of my daily regimen.

16:57

Let. Me show you another. Through. That

16:59

door lie, The answers you seek. Really,

17:01

Why can't you just tell us here?

17:03

Hum? I. Will explain everything.

17:08

Is that the right? A

17:18

room of guess that's nice. What

17:20

is older than you might imagine

17:22

that hunting monsters is simply a

17:24

matter of weaponry. Course, I have

17:26

my twelve rounds of pure silver

17:28

and my aching Seventy nine sixty

17:31

one caliber live action. With

17:34

our losses and nothing next to

17:36

the value of training body and

17:38

mind, this is how one prepares

17:41

for physical combat against an unseen

17:43

enemy of unknown form, an unnatural.

17:47

Twenty wouldn't men on spindle to

17:49

represent creatures of human statue articulated

17:51

at the hips So abstract they

17:53

will strike back. For large

17:56

metal prices. the feet of a

17:58

gargantuan proof A single strike will

18:00

crush you. Earth, flame. As from the

18:02

mouth of a dragon. An

18:05

abundance of caution, really, since they all died

18:07

out a long time ago. No, they didn't.

18:09

Have you seen one lately? No, that's clearly

18:11

not. What about the swinging blades? They don't

18:13

mimic any creatures, they're just for fun. And

18:16

there's tumbling logs and other things in there

18:18

just to keep it interesting. So,

18:21

care for a go? At dying? Don't go

18:23

into it. I'm not going to. I was

18:25

actually asking Miss Entwistle. You,

18:28

Inspector, failed a much simpler test of

18:30

my hand last night in the street. I'm

18:32

not sure my skills are equal to this gauntlet,

18:34

either, Baron. Perhaps we could return

18:36

to the matter of the sea? I agree.

18:39

It is time. Ah!

18:45

Ah! Ah!

18:53

Ah! Ah!

18:58

Ah! Yeah. A book? A

19:01

bestiary. An

19:03

encyclopedia of creatures. Why do you keep it in the centre of

19:06

all that? Because it is useful. And

19:08

so ensures I practise even more. Turn

19:11

to page 303, Miss Entwistle. The

19:15

Black Dog. The Black Dog. The

19:19

Gitrosh in the north. The Visht in the

19:22

southwest. Old Shuck in the south. The

19:25

Visht in the southwest. Old

19:27

Shuck in the east. One

19:30

creature. Many names. Many centuries.

19:33

And now, to the people of London, he

19:35

is simply the beast. This

19:38

is what you see. He has

19:40

returned today having not been seen since

19:42

the times of the 10th Baron de Vries, my

19:45

great-great-grandfather. He wasn't seen before then

19:47

either, but carry on. Not one, but

19:50

two former Barons de Vries in

19:53

their lives hunting the Black Dog, Inspector. He

19:56

is the one foe my family has never

19:58

defeated. and it was and

20:01

remains our duty to be the

20:03

demise of that demonic cure, that

20:06

hound which in the wake of

20:08

this city's ceaseless growth has

20:11

found no choice but to return from

20:13

its hiding place to these lands which

20:15

were once its home. It

20:18

will not stop and nor will

20:20

I. It will not relent

20:23

and nor will I. It

20:25

will show no mercy and

20:27

nor can those whose fate it is

20:29

to be its end. I

20:32

am Foster Montaigne Newington, 14th

20:35

Baron de Vries, commanded by

20:37

Henry Bolingbroke, King of England,

20:39

to protect this realm until

20:41

the end of days from

20:43

Scourge's unnatural. I

20:46

have prepared for this moment my entire life. I

20:50

will rid this land of the Black Dog.

20:54

Right. Well, do let us

20:56

know how you get on. You can send

20:58

a note to our office or just do

21:00

your thing of lurking in the shadows wherever

21:03

we are. Clara? You're leaving? Miss Entwistle and

21:05

I have a killer to catch, or perhaps

21:07

a wild animal. And where will you go

21:09

to catch this killer? Do you have any

21:11

significant leads? Not yet, but... And you would

21:13

turn away from the information I offer? This

21:16

isn't information, it's myth and legend. You are

21:18

the investigators. You want me to lead you

21:20

by the hand. I want something we can

21:22

actually use. And I want to know, Inspector,

21:25

that you both are ready. Ready

21:28

for the terror, for the anguish,

21:30

for the sacrifices you will have to make. We

21:33

three, our fates, are intertwined.

21:37

You cannot succeed alone, and nor,

21:39

I confess, can I. We

21:41

are bound together in duty. I

21:44

have the information you seek. I

21:46

have a contact, Morgan, a sailor, who

21:49

knows where you must go next. But

21:51

I must know that you are ready.

21:53

Baron, you can take our word. Inspector

21:55

Fleet and I are fully prepared to handle

21:58

whatever this case requires. We... We

22:00

will see, Miss Entwistle. This

22:30

was the furthest any seafaring vessel could navigate into the city,

22:32

and so naturally it had become a harbor of the sea.

23:00

The land was a proper of sorts, but the endless

23:02

frozen spray from where the ocean pummeled

23:04

the glacier ensured the harbor was enveloped

23:06

always in a thick icy mist that

23:08

chilled your bones and vanished everything more

23:10

than twenty feet away in a void

23:12

of grey. And

23:14

perhaps it was the blinding mist, or

23:17

perhaps it was the danger of wrecking your ship on

23:19

an iceberg in the blinding mist, or

23:21

perhaps it was the danger of wrecking your ship on

23:23

the blinding mist on the shipwreck of a ship that

23:25

was wrecked on an iceberg in the blinding mist, but

23:28

most sensible captains knew to steer clear of this place

23:30

and to make port further out along the coast. But

23:33

for a certain breed of captain, and a

23:35

certain desperate sort of crew, the

23:37

eastern coast was not far enough from the ocean,

23:39

not far enough from the things they thought they

23:41

had seen out there. And so

23:43

they risked their lives and livelihoods, navigating their

23:45

fragile vessels as far as they could into

23:48

the mouth of the Thames, as

23:50

far even as the tonsils of

23:52

this most unsuitable icy harbor, this

23:54

ramshackle town of broken jetties and

23:56

weather-worn inns, of daunted

23:58

sailors with haunted eyes, of

24:00

the fathomless fear of the infinite deep in

24:02

those men who knew that tomorrow they must

24:05

return. This

24:07

was Grave End, and

24:09

the official weather forecast was Don't

24:12

Go. I

24:15

knew I should have worn a shawl today. The

24:17

fub will be warm, probably. You've been here

24:19

before? Once, a whaling ship

24:21

captain was found hanged under a pier. Oh

24:23

dear, who did that? The

24:26

whaling ship's crew. Why? If

24:28

they were trying to do something else, it couldn't

24:30

have gone much worse. Ha ha, fleet. Why

24:33

did they want to kill him? Well, if you

24:35

hear their side of it, he was a very

24:37

bad captain. They're all in prison then? All

24:39

except the ones the others thought might talk. They were

24:41

all stabbed before we got here. Good lord. It's not

24:43

a good place, Clara. No. But if this

24:46

Morgan can help us... Well,

24:49

if he isn't out on the water, he'll be in here. The

24:52

gnawing terror and pheasant. The worst

24:55

pub in London, quite possibly. Is it

24:57

made out of broken ships? I

24:59

think there is a normal building in the middle. The landlord

25:02

just kept extending it with whatever he found smashed up

25:04

in the harbour. Claims it helps keep out the cold.

25:06

Those beans. They're moths.

25:09

They are. The chimney

25:11

is a thick as... And the harpoon

25:13

facing us is a working harpoon. Why? A

25:16

good way to stop people leaving without paying their tabs. I

25:18

suppose it would be. Shall we go in? In

25:21

a minute. What is it? The

25:23

men here, Clara. They've

25:26

seen things out at sea, or at least

25:28

they think they have. They're

25:30

quiet. They're troubled. Best

25:33

we don't talk to anyone but the landlord. He's the only

25:35

one that speaks anyway, and all he says is what you

25:37

owe him for the rum. I

25:40

understand. We'll go in, find Morgan

25:42

and get out. Right. Okay.

25:44

Here we go. Something's

25:50

wrong. Nothing's wrong. They're enjoying themselves.

25:53

That's what's wrong. A

26:00

camaraderie of sailor folks, we've ailed for what

26:02

ails you, and songs for what wrongs you.

26:04

Lovell. Aye! Oh,

26:07

you're the copper from that Penelope business.

26:10

Er, sheep. Fleet. Penelope? The whaling ship

26:12

whose crew kept murdering each other. Lovell

26:14

here was first mate on the, er...

26:16

The grasshopper. Oh, that takes

26:18

me back. It was eight months ago. Different

26:20

time copper, a different era. But

26:23

not an era before polite introductions. Oh,

26:26

sorry. Yes, this is Miss Clara Entwistle, my

26:28

partner. In business, my business

26:30

partner. I'm also his friend, but he doesn't

26:32

like to say it. He's a prisoner in

26:34

his own soul, Miss Entwistle. I've been

26:36

there. We all out there. Took

26:39

us a long while to break out. We're

26:41

looking for a... Yes, what has happened here? Fleet

26:43

made it sound like he would all be in here weeping. I

26:46

was actually picturing people just silently staring into

26:48

the middle distance. In the past, either of

26:50

those would have been a good guess. Things

26:53

we've seen out there on the ocean. Things

26:55

not meant for man. That's fine, really.

26:57

We're just here for... What sort of things?

27:00

Things to me terrible for words. Creatures

27:03

of the deep, foul beings

27:05

beyond our reckoning. Morehouse over

27:07

there, Tottenham on the Brunswick. He

27:09

saw a squid with the face of King

27:11

George. Old Nichols on

27:14

the piano. He was on the

27:16

watch one night on the Queen

27:18

Charlotte. When crawling at the Uncle

27:20

Shane, came a light-double speed. Half

27:22

man, half langoustine. Goodness. I

27:24

myself once saw a rather handsome

27:26

maiden on a rock. Three miles

27:29

out, turning herself in her nip. No

27:32

ordinary maiden. She had

27:34

the face of a lass, the body

27:36

of a lass, and the legs. The

27:39

what? Of course. None

27:41

of it was real. Tortured us for a long

27:43

time what we thought we saw, but... Eventually,

27:46

we came to realise it was all just

27:48

glimmers in the light. And

27:50

our subconsciously intrigues. There's

27:53

no such thing as burlady's, squid

27:56

kings, or mangersteins. So

27:58

we're a lot happier now, as you... What

28:00

changed your mind? Oh, well,

28:03

do you know what the most important part of a boat is?

28:06

The mast. No wait, bow. Come on,

28:08

Kara. It's this. A

28:11

thick woolly jumper. It's us,

28:13

the crew. Oh, there's nothing

28:15

otherwise. One day we realise we

28:17

work ourselves like dogs out there fishing,

28:20

days at a time. And then

28:22

when we're back we work ourselves like dogs again,

28:24

looking after the bus, tarling the hull, preparing

28:26

the sails. And after all that's done, do you know

28:28

how much time we spend looking after ourselves? Not very

28:30

much. Not at all. Open

28:34

the next morning, aren't we? And that has

28:36

consequences, doesn't it, men? Aye! The

28:40

punishment we endure, the graft,

28:42

the exhaustion, it has consequences,

28:44

doesn't it, men? Aye! Let

28:49

us explain to you the best way we know how. Nichols? Oh,

28:55

no, no, no, no, really no. Sweet!

29:23

The only defence, just

29:25

calm sense, fatigue has

29:28

made you hear things. A

29:31

kraken was attacking us,

29:34

its tentacles surrounding.

29:36

The timbers

29:39

broke, heaven had a stroke,

29:42

our troubles were compounding.

29:46

And just as we prayed to the

29:48

sea, deliver

29:50

us salvation, we

29:53

realised our heavy

29:55

eyes had shed

29:57

a group hallucination.

30:00

It's all made of, it's

30:02

in our hate, It's hard

30:04

work drawing those teeth, It's

30:06

with the little strength, and

30:08

it's all surprised, You crack

30:10

all keys, yet you're from

30:12

the heart. I'll

30:15

get outside, Mr. Day. The

30:20

helmsman who was wedded to,

30:24

A selkie from the

30:26

fathoms, His judgment

30:28

scarred, he'd worked as hard,

30:31

As any man since Adam.

30:35

And when we spied as

30:37

his serpent's eyes, We knew

30:39

our doom awaited, Until

30:43

it flicked, he'd been

30:45

too strict, And

30:47

likely dehydrated. It's

30:50

all made of, it's in

30:52

our hate, It's hard work

30:54

drawing those teeth, With

30:56

the fun of the rope and

30:58

the frozen wings, It's natural to

31:01

be seated, Sleep's

31:03

pretty, good to it, These

31:07

things keep monsters quiet, New

31:10

hammocks, less motion,

31:13

No nightmares on the ocean,

31:17

Pinkyar-Es. Themfolk!

31:36

We do the day of

31:38

attention, praise! I never

31:40

knew my father. That's

31:44

a different sort of problem, Michael.

31:46

I'm sorry, that's a different song.

31:48

Sorry. Nothing to apologise for, Michael.

31:50

You're among friends and you're our only

31:52

basso profundo. And...

31:56

It's all we love, it's in

31:58

our heads, it's... It's hard,

32:00

we're tolling of sea, Bet with

32:03

a luland sky and a novel

32:05

cry. It's natural

32:07

to forget, It's

32:10

all made up, it's in

32:12

our heads. It's hard, we're

32:14

tolling of sea, Bet with

32:16

a reading song and a problem

32:18

flow. It's simple

32:20

to forget, With

32:22

a binding sun and a gun of

32:24

fun. Your

32:27

under the gun, To fish

32:29

every ton, the world's never

32:31

gone. The truth

32:33

can't be spun, It's

32:35

a damn hard job

32:37

tolling those feet. Oh,

32:47

uh, Bet. Miley's

32:54

singing was awesome types

32:56

of dancing, thank you.

33:01

And Copper, I hope you can see now why

33:03

we're all doing a lot better than the last

33:05

time you saw us. We've learnt to care

33:07

of ourselves and not push our bodies to

33:09

the point where we start imagining silly,

33:11

supernatural lassies out on the blue. We've

33:14

also had a lot of success with collective action,

33:16

such as seizing the means of production, i.e.

33:19

the big nets, and negotiating for better working

33:21

conditions. By negotiating, do you mean hanging that

33:23

captive? I don't condone that, but I'd be

33:25

lying if I said it didn't help. All

33:28

in all, we know now that whatever we

33:30

thought we saw out on the sea were

33:32

just figments, artefacts of overwork, and nothing

33:34

to be feared of. We

33:37

have, at last, shown peace. That's

33:39

wonderful. Yes,

33:41

well done. Now, what can we help you

33:44

with? I've completely forgotten why we came in

33:46

here. I can't remember anything before the song.

33:49

Oh, I remember. We hear about the beast. What

33:52

did you say? Oh, right.

33:55

No, I said... Yeast. Yeast.

33:59

From... There's

34:01

none finer. I hear it's just the thing

34:03

for bread making. You

34:06

said... Beast. I

34:09

did. It's been in the papers? We

34:11

don't read the papers. The

34:13

sensationalising reportage disturbs our fragile

34:15

and hard-won mental tranquility. Ah,

34:18

well there have been these horrible murders you see,

34:20

and some people think it's an

34:22

unholy, unstoppable supernatural beast, but really...

34:25

I knew it! I knew

34:27

it! I

34:35

know what I saw out there. A

34:37

country mermaid waving at me and giggling.

34:40

Not a manatee. I

34:43

knew it was all real. I just didn't want to

34:45

be left out of this. Come

34:47

on, lad. Here's a

34:49

new one. Doom! Doom!

34:52

Not but doom! Doom!

34:54

Doom! Not but doom!

35:03

This is more what I remember. Tie

35:05

your laces. No more empty ties, but thanks

35:07

for checking in. Tie them again.

35:09

No, that's too many knots. That'll be a nightmare later.

35:11

Undo them and then do them up again. I don't

35:14

see any reason to do that. There's a man over

35:16

in the corner. A man who needs a demonstration

35:18

of how laces are told. Do you

35:20

really not understand what I'm getting at? You want me to look

35:22

at him without being spotted? Yes.

35:25

The man with the large beard and hat. How do you know that?

35:27

He's behind you. Well, it's a fisherman's inn,

35:29

so large beard and hat is just a good guess.

35:31

But also, I've been looking around ever since we came

35:33

in. How do you think I managed to stay a

35:35

detective in this city for years without being killed? Except

35:37

that one time. That doesn't count. I was betrayed.

35:40

Anyway, I can't look now. It'll be too obvious.

35:43

Why don't you just tell me what you've seen? Well,

35:45

it's hard to make out his face because his cap

35:47

is down and his coat collar is up,

35:49

and the facial hair covers almost everything in between.

35:52

But I think it's De Vries' contact,

35:54

Morgan. Why do you think that? Because

35:56

He's the only one not crying. Have

36:09

you seen the mysteries of snow? Can't

36:11

see ten feet away? No footprints

36:13

Yes or I quite like it isn't There

36:16

were following yes, but is he bowls in

36:18

this? Will lose in. The.

36:23

Track the adding onto the ice must not be

36:25

heading to the third. One is going

36:27

anywhere least. What?

36:33

since eating feather heart is heard of?

36:38

Course. I think we're quite close to

36:40

where the ice and food is never

36:42

going. Said he wanted his eyes locked.

36:44

Floats is is that one has. Haven't. Liked

36:47

to result going that way that

36:49

you sexy turning and laws. Allow.

36:55

Say he is on the ground by the edge.

36:59

Ah ah. Ah

37:02

you right. it's. Post

37:05

are stock in the odds?

37:07

Are you Morgan? No, no

37:09

I just. An ordinary fisherman

37:11

no particular name was a

37:13

whole to see we go.

37:15

A pet pet fishing boat

37:18

miss half list has does

37:20

he Flees attached. To foreigners

37:22

are you doing here? just as a fisherman

37:24

with a false fears when. I think you'll

37:26

agree I wouldn't pass as a neighbor. More

37:28

time or otherwise. Without sense of disguise.

37:30

Why are you hearing? Breathing in exactly

37:33

the pub we happen to be in,

37:35

I could have you the same question.

37:37

I asked the same question no, Did

37:39

you say that I am interested in

37:41

the Beast You want to add? It's

37:43

your collection of made up things you

37:45

pretended to defeat. By. Publishers have certain

37:47

expectations The Beast as a very

37:49

high profile threat. Constant A

37:51

glorious and Why Follow us? Not

37:53

an investigator like you to. I

37:56

get colds were problems. Ah don't.

37:58

know how to such an entire city So

38:00

you're just going to let us do it and claim

38:02

the credit? Oh no, of course not. I

38:05

thought we could work together. I

38:07

can help. I have skills. Traversing

38:10

ice without getting stuck? I'll have

38:12

you know I'd crossed half the Glissiers

38:14

in Svalbard while you were still in

38:16

short travels. And I am

38:18

still the record holder for crossing the

38:20

Hrudungjekulen alone after just popping across

38:22

to Hargestun for a nice warming

38:24

glass of oikivit. But

38:27

no one is ever safe from the treachery of the

38:29

ice, so lend a girl a hand. Ah,

38:32

here. Clara,

38:36

we might need you here. No.

38:39

No? What are

38:41

you looking at? Can you even see

38:43

anything? Listen. I

38:48

think this glacier might be about to get a

38:50

little shorter. Oh my god. Pull your foot out

38:52

of the boot, Gertrude. That'll take a few minutes.

38:55

They're Sturburgs. Boots of champions.

38:57

Triple laced. Cost an absolute

38:59

fortune, but they've seen me through

39:01

orchards in a contest at a summer season.

39:03

Do you have a knife? Cut through the laces. And

39:06

did I not just say they're Sturburgs? It's

39:11

starting to peak. I say we ride the

39:13

iceberg out into the ocean. What makes you think it'll

39:15

stay this way up? Well, that's not

39:17

very can do. It can stay alive. There's

39:20

someone there. Hello? You're too

39:22

close to the edge. We know. The glacier's

39:25

about to carve. We know. It'll

39:28

take you with it. We know.

39:31

And in case it does, be sure

39:33

to alert the media that it was

39:35

Gertrude, Babwur, too. That was

39:38

tragically sweet to me. Now watch this run

39:40

by a bit. Don't

39:42

tell them I was wearing a beard,

39:45

but also don't tell them I wasn't

39:47

wearing a beard. Now

39:49

just not asking questions such as why

39:51

I said I'm prompted that I wasn't

39:54

wearing a beard. Man standing in the mist, can

39:56

you get help or something? No time for a laugh. Can

39:58

you provide help yourself? Yes. Do

40:01

we have to guess what kind? Miss

40:04

Bridget, kindly remind the

40:07

editors that... ...Babworth Tope has

40:09

a hyphen. Babworth is not

40:11

my middle name. That's very important. It couldn't

40:13

be less important! A

40:17

roast quick-fravel! You seem to be a

40:19

gloomy daddy, but I am still bootstrapped

40:21

over here. Sturburgs. They are

40:23

Sturburgs. Thank you for noticing. But you

40:25

said it's all the tongue. There's a

40:27

quick release. Is there? There

40:30

is! I forgot all about it! These

40:32

are some fine boots! Okay! Okay!

40:34

Alright! Alright! Ah!

40:37

There! I'm free! Aha! Call

40:39

the editors! Another death! Divide

40:41

my guts! Babworth!

40:49

Who's the group? What are you?

40:51

What are you two? Ahh!

41:14

Well heaved! Thank you for the

41:16

ropes! Yes, thank you! I

41:18

think we had it all under control! But I'll be

41:20

sure to mention your support when I write this up

41:22

in a gripping chapter of my next book! Mr...

41:26

Baron... actually... What? Baron

41:29

DeVries! DeVries?! Oh, Baron, really? What are

41:31

you doing here?! And are you also

41:33

wearing a false beard? They're cheaper than

41:35

you'd think! Why is everyone pretending to be

41:37

a fisherman? Did you send us to this

41:39

frozen hell just to find you? Are

41:42

you completely insane? I told you. I

41:44

needed to know if you were ready.

41:46

I'm ready to throttle you. What does

41:48

us coming here prove, Baron? It

41:50

was meant for you to show you could handle

41:52

yourself among tough folk, such as the sailors. But

41:55

the glacier was a nice bonus. We nearly

41:57

died, you maniac! Because you rushed to the...

42:00

aid of a helpless stranger. Um, excuse

42:02

me. Of course we rushed to hell.

42:05

And you stayed. Even with your

42:07

own lives at risk. I

42:09

am satisfied. You are ready to

42:11

pursue the beast. There is much

42:13

to discuss. Come. I

42:16

will explain everything. Why? Why can

42:18

you never talk wherever we already

42:21

are? Welcome

42:34

aboard the limpet. Once a crabbing

42:36

boat, now my cold weather survival training

42:38

outpost. Warm yourselves

42:40

by the stove. It gets a little

42:42

cosy, so you'll have to take turns or get very close.

42:44

Turns it is. Nonsense! Cuddle

42:47

up! Nothing warmer than a snuggle. I've

42:50

survived more than one avalanche that way, and you

42:52

can't knock me friends with someone after a quick

42:54

strip and getting hip to hip for a kip

42:56

in the nib. Oh my god. Please keep your

42:58

clothes on. Oh fine. Baron,

43:00

please. No more games. What

43:03

do you know about the beast that will actually help us

43:05

find it? Good. Now

43:07

you come to accept that the beast is-

43:09

Which isn't a beast because there's no such

43:11

thing as beasts. He's got you there! Is

43:13

that so, Miss Babworth-Tome? Oh,

43:15

have we met? You were repeatedly shouting

43:18

your name out on the ice, but no.

43:20

I was already aware of

43:22

who you are. I was at

43:24

the museum yesterday for your... Lecture.

43:27

Always nice to meet a fan. You

43:30

are charming. It is your gift.

43:33

And like charms themselves, to be charming

43:35

is a powerful thing. To be

43:38

wielded dutifully and with honour.

43:41

You purport to believe in the creatures of

43:43

myth of these isles when you do not.

43:46

And you swindle those who have

43:48

encountered them or believe they have, offering

43:51

snake oil and false hope. And

43:54

then you take these deceptions, write

43:56

them into books, and sell them to

43:58

the innocent curious. This

44:00

has made you rich, famous, and

44:02

rather beloved. But

44:05

you are as hollow as bone, and

44:07

you insult the memory of my

44:10

forebears, who have truly defended the

44:12

land and the people. I

44:14

am not a fan. I

44:17

am a de Vries, and you

44:19

are a fraud. Well,

44:23

good. Introductions complete.

44:27

You are Baron de Vries, and I

44:29

am a fraud. Lovely.

44:32

Shall we move on to a pile again? Snapdragon?

44:35

Anyone? Pin the outboard

44:37

motor on the Queen? Your deflections

44:39

are part of your charlatanry. Forgive

44:41

me, Baron, if I choose humour

44:44

to lower the temperature, rather than

44:46

respond directly. My charlatanry, as

44:48

you put it, rather relies on

44:50

the social competencies you seem to

44:52

lack. I have no interest in

44:54

such things. My work is all

44:56

that matters. Everyone has work. Doesn't

44:59

mean you have to be a hot ram about it. Especially

45:02

when... No. Especially

45:04

when what? How's your

45:06

coffee, fleet? Fine. Fine.

45:09

Thank you, Clara. How's your

45:11

coffee? Neither of us have coffee.

45:13

No. Especially when what? Especially

45:16

when your entire family tree is a

45:18

bunch of flimflammers and cooks. You

45:21

would think I don't know the name de Vries. I

45:24

may not believe in the little pixies and such

45:26

who hide in our butter dishes or what have

45:28

you, but I damn well know the texts. And

45:31

I know all about the so-called work

45:33

of the great family de Vries. Self-penned

45:36

accounts of heroism going back centuries,

45:39

countless inconsistencies, no reliable witnesses and

45:41

any number of perfectly ordinary explanations

45:43

for what they did, if in

45:46

fact they did anything at all.

45:49

Your family line is great today for

45:52

the same reason as every other damned

45:54

great family. Because it's rich

45:56

and it has been for a very,

45:58

very, very long time. But

46:01

take away the money and the fact they

46:03

could afford scribes to spread their lies and I'll

46:05

tell you what you're left with. Your

46:07

ancestors were in exactly the same line of work

46:10

as me and if you believe it all to

46:12

be true, that makes you something worse than a

46:14

fraud. It makes you a fool. How dare

46:16

you. How dare you,

46:18

sir. At least I'm out

46:20

there helping people instead of playing pretend

46:23

on my little boat and skulking away

46:25

in my castle. Skulking?

46:28

I have spent my life training for

46:30

this moment. Well I'd say it's going very

46:32

well, wouldn't you? I could imagine

46:34

a few improvements. That's enough. Shame

46:37

on both of you. People are being

46:39

murdered and whatever or whoever is responsible

46:41

is still out there and you're bickering

46:43

about one another. It doesn't

46:45

matter. We all want the same thing. Put

46:47

an end to the killings one way or

46:49

another. You

46:52

are right. You are

46:54

right. Very well. Let

46:57

us begin. This

46:59

is a letter from an acquaintance. A

47:02

traveller of sorts. I swear

47:04

to god, De Vries, if you wrote this letter... No,

47:07

no. I promise it's a real person this time. Baron,

47:14

I write with dire tidings. I

47:16

have come across the most unusual place. A

47:19

place of darkness. A village

47:21

where the candle of the city is

47:23

ever stuffed out. What does that

47:26

mean? I do not know. He

47:28

continues. You

47:30

told me long ago of the black dog.

47:33

Here they call it Chuck. And

47:35

they tremble as they speak of it. For

47:38

the Chuck took one of their own.

47:41

Another victim of the beast? The first.

47:43

The first. Why haven't we

47:45

heard about it? Because this place wishes

47:48

never to be heard of. What's it

47:50

called? Bishops Bromley. They're not familiar. It's

47:53

in London? No. The North? Yorkshire?

47:55

No. Wales? Scotland?

47:58

France? Tuscany? Oh, yeah! Let

48:00

it be Tuscany! No, no, you're getting

48:02

further away. There isn't anywhere else on the

48:04

British mainland, Baron. Of course

48:06

there is. He's right. There

48:09

is. You've been? Once.

48:12

Well, I didn't go exactly. We just went

48:14

right through it. Oh. Oh

48:18

no. This

48:30

episode of Victoriosity featured Tom

48:32

Crowley as in state defeat, Laila

48:35

Khatib as Clara Entwistle, and Peter

48:37

Wray as the narrator. With

48:39

Sarah Bonnell Piper as Gertrude Babworth-Homes,

48:42

Tip Gladwin as Baron de Vreese,

48:44

and Nathan Peter Grossy as Rutland. The

48:47

novel was played by Leng Gwyn,

48:50

and the gnawing Pura and pheasants

48:52

Fisherman's choir was Julian Fox, Chris

48:54

Pudburn, Nathan Peter Grossy, Peter Wray,

48:57

Duncan Saunderson, and Dominic Hargree. Additional

49:00

voices by Molly Beck-Marosa, Gert

49:03

Gladwin, and Sanos Sonohos. The

49:06

sound designers were Dominic Hargreeves and

49:08

Cedric Barton. Victoriosity

49:10

is written by Cluston Jan

49:12

Sudden, produced by Dominic Hargreeves and

49:15

directed by Nathan Peter Grossy with

49:17

original music by John Owen. The

49:20

programme was recorded at Evolution Studios,

49:22

and the production manager was skipper

49:24

of the grasshopper Elizabeth Tambour. Thank

49:30

you for watching.