This episode has been knocking at the door of my psyche for the past week – ever since I finished Paul Coelho's Eleven Minutes and began unpacking my thoughts on the subject matter. This season in my life is not one of experience but one of confronting my own thoughts on BDSM.

I used to pride myself on being the type of lover who would never say no to trying new things, but rather reply with "not yet". In this past month, I have been confronting that belief, as I have unintentionally entered a season of BDSM. It started with a Hinge profile I found increasingly more triggering and became a full-fledged season when the show I was watching, Normal People, took a dark turn. Both of these touchpoints presented me with the opportunity to explore my discomfort around women finding pleasure in humiliation and/or submission to a male partner.

In this episode, I discuss how BDSM is a common kink in the fitness industry, why I take issue with straight white men only wanting to be the Dom, and how sex is the most vulnerable, ever-changing, and present thing that we do. 

I am a firm believer that the dynamics in any sexual encounter should be a reflection of how we feel in that moment, rather than a definitive role one must prescribe to. Predetermined roles are counter-intuitive and the opposite of the nautral world. Have a listen. Explore these themes with your friends and partner, and most of all reflect on your own beliefs.

My BDSM touchpoints and where you can find them:

• Normal People is a book by Sally Rooney that was turned into a television series by the BBC. It is currently on Amazon Prime here. 
• Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

Relationship experts (on Instagram) speaking about trauma and how it shows up in our relationships:

• Dr. Nicole LePera (Psychologist) as @the.holistic.psychologist
• Esther Perel (Psychotherapist x NYT Bestselling Author) as @estherperelofficial
• Mark Groves (Human Connection Specialist) as @createthelove

Guiding tarot: The Hanged One - left. We are ambivalent about slowing down or giving in to our inner world. 

Find me: On ig at @janweile for spirit-led entrepreneurship or @colourmyaura for ceremonies.