0:00

Hello, I'm Hal Lublin. And I'm Mark Gagliardi.

0:03

Since the dawn of humanity, one issue

0:06

has gone unsettled. With the fate

0:08

of the world in the balance, we're here

0:10

to settle once and for all. Clean

0:14

slay! That's

0:18

right, don't worry everyone.

0:20

We got this. Podcasts should have a theme

0:22

song. Podcasts should not have a theme song.

0:24

Yes they should. No they shouldn't. They sound good. Yeah,

0:27

but people are just going to skip

0:29

past it.

0:30

You know what?

0:31

You're right! We

0:34

got this! Clean

0:37

slay! Isn't that what Rudolph sounds like in Rudolph?

0:40

Yeah, he's got that sort of high pitch like,

0:43

I don't know guys. And his father too.

0:45

It's like the most unsure and erotic group of animals.

0:47

Well, well, well, son, you gotta go here, do

0:50

this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah,

0:51

it's only the female characters in that short

0:53

speak with any definitive

0:56

words and sentences. I'm even doing it now, thinking

0:59

about it. As you may have guessed,

1:01

it is that time of year. We are here. It's

1:03

not yet that time of year. I mean, I was just scooping

1:05

out pumpkins 10 minutes ago, but it's

1:08

this episode is airing in that time

1:10

of year, which means it is time for

1:12

our clean slay episode,

1:14

which means it is time,

1:16

Hal, for us to bring back our

1:19

favorite holiday guest, Miss

1:21

Paget Brewster. What's up, Paget?

1:24

It's me! It is you.

1:28

Fellas, you

1:30

look so good. You look so good. It's

1:32

great to see you. You too. We've

1:34

got a thrilling show coming up soon. We're going to

1:36

see each other in person. But

1:38

for right now, we're going to cover some holiday topics.

1:41

I was going to say, I can't see you in

1:43

the context of recording these episodes. First of all, it's

1:45

always great to see you. But when I see you in the context

1:47

of this, I always just immediately think of fruit cake

1:50

because you are the only person I know who loves fruit cake.

1:52

And

1:53

we sent you a fruit cake one year and you were very excited

1:55

about it. And it was delicious.

1:58

Yeah. I like a fruit.

1:59

It's got to be the right fruitcake.

2:03

You guys sent the fruitcake that had

2:05

the candied, you

2:08

know, it's like candied jelly, but

2:10

it has to be like a hard jelly in

2:12

that dense, sweet, mushy,

2:16

but dense. Oh, it was a beautiful... Where'd

2:18

you get that? I don't remember. I don't remember.

2:21

That's right. I'll just look it up. I'll look

2:23

it up. I'll let you know. I'll let

2:25

you know. The North Pole, Padgett. We got it from the

2:27

Pole. We got it from Santa himself. Yeah. He

2:29

said, he baked your handwriting, wrote a note to Santa,

2:32

gave our addresses as yours. Yeah.

2:36

Well, we're very delighted to have you. Thanks for

2:38

being here. Should we jump right into some of these

2:40

holiday topics? I think so. These

2:42

are all from you. We ask you every

2:44

year to give us your topics around

2:47

the holidays and you never let us down. So

2:49

we're going to start off with Jeffy Baby, our

2:51

pal Jeffy Baby. Yeah, Jeffy Baby. I

2:55

think his real name is Jeff Babbie, but the

2:57

name is spelled B-A-B-E-Y, so he's Jeffy

3:00

Baby. Jeffy Baby. Yeah.

3:03

Jeff asks, the best thing to get for Christmas

3:05

as suggested by a Christmas song? For

3:07

example, my two front teeth, a

3:09

hippopotamus, 12 drummers drumming,

3:12

all I want for Christmas Whiskers. Whiskers.

3:15

Yeah. Do you have any thoughts,

3:17

all of the hypothetical gifts that

3:20

are thrown out in different songs, like

3:22

holiday songs? Yeah.

3:23

Any that come to mind, like gold rings?

3:27

Right? I mean, five gold rings is pretty

3:29

great. I think like financially

3:31

five gold rings is pretty great. Let's

3:34

think about what some of the big ones are. Well,

3:36

there's the Mariah Carey song.

3:37

All I

3:39

want for Christmas is you.

3:42

So you, if it's someone you love.

3:45

You is on the list. All of the 12

3:47

days. A partridge

3:49

in a pear tree is you

3:51

really need to have real estate. Yeah.

3:53

Well, you need all of those in the 12 days

3:55

of Christmas. You need a town

3:57

because... How many lords are dancing?

4:00

Well, drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping, 10

4:03

lords a leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8

4:06

maids a milking. So you've already

4:08

got like three football teams. Yeah.

4:10

That's a lot of maids

4:12

a milking and you have to assume that eight

4:14

cows. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

4:18

It's too much. It's too much. I live

4:20

in an apartment. Yeah. You're

4:22

in an apartment. It's not good. And fruit trees, by the way, even a

4:24

partridge is in a pear

4:25

tree. Those fruit trees attract rats. So if

4:27

you can put them, I've learned in my home.

4:29

That's awesome. Yeah. By

4:31

the way, this place where we have lived for almost two years

4:34

daily, I hear what is a raccoon or

4:36

something skittering across the roof, like over

4:38

the next like townhouse. Like you're just sitting here and you hear

4:40

like, and there are rats. There

4:43

are rats all over the place. We haven't, we've only

4:45

had, we had one come in on two separate occasions.

4:48

Did he forget something? Yeah. The

4:50

second time he had left his keys. But

4:52

you're sure it was the same rat. It's

4:55

the

4:55

same rat. I know wearing

4:57

the same suit. That's how I get it.

4:59

Oh, sure. Only afford one suit. But

5:02

yeah, those fruit trees will attract rodents

5:04

because it sounds like they're hungry. Somebody needs

5:06

to get a cat. I do. I do.

5:09

There you go. Get your cat a rat. I

5:12

need a rat. A ratter.

5:13

But don't they bring it to you? A ratter

5:15

is a cat that specializes in, they

5:17

were on pirate ships. Large

5:20

sailing ship always had a ratter. And

5:23

the ratter was a cat that caught

5:25

rats and mice. And it actually historically,

5:28

it got its own sea

5:31

hermit, like to be on

5:33

the seas. Amazing.

5:35

You can see photos of cats

5:37

and they have their permit to be on a boat

5:40

to catch rats. I love this. And

5:42

they're holding a tiny pilot's license.

5:44

Yeah, that's what I want for Christmas. I want

5:46

a ratter.

5:46

But they bring you the

5:48

rats. Don't they? I don't think that's what I did.

5:51

It's not an asson. You know what else is,

5:53

what is in a song and also goes along the same

5:55

line, those 12 days of Christmas? Hal,

5:57

you mentioned it is a hippopotamus. What's that for?

5:59

I want a hippopotamus

6:02

for Christmas. The hell is

6:04

this? Yeah. It was a novelty, like

6:06

60s novelty Christmas song.

6:08

Well, you don't want a hippopotamus. They're like the

6:10

most dangerous freshwater animal.

6:13

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And

6:15

they're like, their skin oozes that red secretion.

6:18

So it looks like they're always covered in blood. They're

6:20

terrified. What? I didn't

6:22

know about that. What is it? It's a thing

6:24

to keep their skin wet when they're

6:27

sticking out above the water in the sun.

6:29

Oh my God, I need that after my surprise

6:33

hyaluronic acid facial peel I got

6:36

at a spa and desert hot springs.

6:38

I need to secrete something like a hippo.

6:41

I saw a video

6:43

of a hippo eating a pumpkin

6:45

and those ionic columns they have

6:47

for teeth

6:48

will bend into the mouth when they eat it.

6:50

And I was like, is that, are the teeth getting

6:52

knocked in? Because I have like an irrational

6:55

fear that my teeth are going to be like folded in. Same

6:57

with like fingernails, fingers being bent,

6:59

all that stuff. And I was like, oh,

7:01

the mouth, those big pegs

7:03

just fold

7:04

down. They fold. When they're

7:06

consuming human meat. Yeah. They're

7:09

like, they're up there. You're like, oh, well, they're going to need this to pulverize

7:11

a pumpkin. But no, those things are like

7:13

folding back,

7:15

like reclining those bottom teeth. You just said

7:17

they fold back when the hippo

7:20

is eating human

7:21

meat. Yeah. I assume they do that to

7:23

make room for human meat. Like a human pumpkin.

7:26

They're like, oh, we got to figure out how to fold these teeth.

7:28

Larry, did you figure out how to fold the teeth down yet so we can

7:30

eat people?

7:32

While we're on the topic

7:34

of teeth, I'll point out another gift

7:37

in a Christmas song. It's less a gift given from

7:39

someone to another. And it's one that is requested

7:41

of Santa. As an adult, I

7:43

think it begs a lot of questions if I'm asking

7:46

Santa for my two front teeth. But

7:49

I assume that's a kid that's singing that. Yeah.

7:52

Famously. Famously. If I could only whistle.

7:54

Or what about there's people

7:56

who go to Smile Direct Club.

7:58

What is that?

7:59

It's a place that puts in veneers,

8:02

puts in

8:02

the... Oh, like cosmetic dentistry. Cosmetic

8:05

dentistry, yeah. Okay. Yeah, you

8:07

don't need Santa. You need like like professional. Yeah, Santa

8:09

is a toy maker. Yeah. Yeah,

8:12

I'm not gonna go to Mattel for dentistry.

8:17

We've also got... Yellow chipmunks had two

8:20

pretty good ones in there. Some classics. Oh.

8:23

Wanna train the loop, me, I wanna hula hoop.

8:25

Yeah. Oh, that's right. A

8:28

hula hoop versus

8:30

five golden rings. Yeah.

8:32

Five golden rings is tough to beat at this point.

8:34

Because we all have enough room in our homes

8:36

and apartments for five golden rings.

8:38

But they're not necessarily gold. They're

8:41

golden.

8:41

Right. So they're gonna be

8:43

gold

8:44

plated. Gold plated. Still a nice thought.

8:46

Five?

8:46

Yeah. You could

8:49

sell... Here's a thing,

8:49

you could sell the other... So

8:52

when I had my bar mitzvah, a young 13-year-old Hal.

8:55

My parents got me a gold braided

8:58

necklace. A gold braided... Like it's

9:00

gold, but it's like a bracelet. And

9:03

then a ring, a

9:05

gold ring that in block letters says

9:08

Hal.

9:09

It doesn't even fit on my pinky now. I have it.

9:11

It's in the other room. But I'm

9:13

sitting here going like, all right, it's been 33

9:16

years since I was made in Bar Mitzvah

9:18

at Temple's Eye on the Nottingham Valley, Pennsylvania.

9:20

That place is now a Korean church.

9:23

Okay. Am I okay?

9:25

My mother is gone. She's been gone for 15

9:28

years and my dad probably won't know. Am

9:30

I okay to melt down to like,

9:33

turn those in for a part? Because I have no use for them. Yeah.

9:35

So that ring now says Hal in Korean, right? Right.

9:39

Yeah. It says Busan instead. It

9:41

was replaced. In the night it happened. I want

9:43

to know

9:44

if you also got a mohawk

9:46

for this and pitied the fools at

9:49

your bar mitzvah because you were wearing

9:51

that much gold jewelry in the late

9:53

1980s. Mr. T, oh

9:56

late 1980s, please. It was 1990, Mark. We

9:58

were out of the 80s.

9:59

Fair? All right. All right. You

10:01

can, I believe, absolutely melt it down. Melt

10:03

it down. Cool. Yeah. In

10:06

which case, we could just say you could melt down five

10:08

golden rings as well. Exactly. And make a lovely

10:10

fake Cartier bracelet.

10:12

Now, is five golden rings

10:14

more valuable than Mariah Carey's

10:17

you? I

10:20

mean, you is a tough person. The holidays,

10:22

it's all about kindness and the

10:24

people in your life that are important. If the

10:26

gift is you, that's tough.

10:29

Five golden rings, you. Elvis

10:31

had a similar version with Elvis went Santa

10:33

to bring his baby back to him. Yeah.

10:36

When the gift is a person, my

10:39

grown up Christmas list, there's that song too, the

10:41

Amy Grant song. No more

10:43

lives torn apart. Wars would

10:45

never start.

10:46

Oh, I'd rather have the rings.

10:48

Yeah. God. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I want

10:50

all that stuff. I want

10:52

all that stuff. But let's be like, In

10:54

theory. Yeah. In theory, like I

10:56

want that stuff to happen. But when you're looking for

10:59

gifts, like I could say world peace that

11:01

that's nobody's bringing that to me. Let's

11:03

say five golden rings.

11:05

I got a shot. Somebody's going to go to Zales

11:07

and stop by on their way to a party or something

11:10

and bring them to me. What if they stop at William

11:12

Sonoma and get bright copper

11:14

kettles and then on their way out,

11:16

stop at, I don't know, LL

11:18

Bean and get warm woolen mittens. Those

11:21

are just safe things though. Those

11:22

aren't asking for gifts. That's true. She's just

11:24

going like, and here's other stuff. Like, it's almost

11:27

like hinting

11:28

when you're if it was like, I was like, Padgett,

11:30

you know, I really, I really just

11:32

wanted this really cool shower curtain, but I don't have

11:34

it. So one of my favorite things, wink, wink.

11:39

I wish you could all have seen

11:41

Hal's face when he made

11:43

that. That was imploring.

11:46

Yeah. The audio. He's

11:48

going to get that shower curtain. So

11:51

what do we think is the winner? Is it the five gold rings?

11:53

I'm going to go with you. If

11:56

it is my you, the you I

11:58

pick not golden ring. things

12:00

that may be, you know, from

12:02

Shein or H&M,

12:04

they're not gold, they're golden. I'm going to go with

12:07

you being essentially Elvis,

12:09

my baby. All I want

12:11

for Christmas is the you that

12:13

is the most important to me.

12:15

I like that.

12:16

I'm on board.

12:17

All right. It's been

12:19

answered. Mariah.

12:20

All right. I have the next one and this comes

12:22

from Cindy Whitmore.

12:25

As far as Christmas dinner is concerned.

12:28

What is your protein of choice? We have four

12:31

choices as provided by Cindy.

12:33

Ham, roast beef, turkey

12:36

or lamb.

12:37

Oh my.

12:39

Yeah. My,

12:40

my, my, my, my, my, my, my. I feel like

12:42

turkey gets Thanksgiving.

12:45

Turkey gets Thanksgiving. But if we don't

12:47

have goose as an option, which I've never

12:49

made, let's say, has anyone had a Christmas

12:51

goose?

12:52

I want to say goose. You have?

12:54

I have had a Christmas goose before.

12:58

So here's the deal with the Christmas goose. My

13:01

mother one year because we're big Christmas Carol

13:03

fans and they have the good, the Cratch It

13:05

family has the goose for

13:07

Christmas. And my mom was like, I'm going

13:09

to make a Christmas goose this year. And

13:12

it was terrible.

13:14

Oh, terrible. And

13:17

I still remembered in my family as the

13:19

Christmas when we had goose. Like,

13:22

it was like, oh, you remember the goose Christmas? Oh yeah.

13:25

I remember the goose Christmas. It was, it was making

13:27

the realization that that

13:29

was what the Cratch It's got on

13:32

Bob Cratch It's salary was a goose.

13:34

And then at the end,

13:36

Scrooge comes by with a turkey.

13:39

Oh, Scrooge brings the

13:41

turkey from the window. The one as big as me.

13:44

The big turkey. Oh. The reason

13:46

the goose was on their Christmas table was

13:48

because it was the most inexpensive

13:50

choice. It was it's gamey

13:53

and

13:53

gray and greasy. And

13:55

it's probably back then, not

13:58

of coddle.

13:59

goose, but a wild

14:02

goose, like a Canadian goose that

14:05

someone bludgeoned,

14:07

or blunderbust, I'm not sure.

14:10

So goose, okay, wow,

14:12

okay, this is so informative. My

14:15

mom makes beef wellington for

14:18

Christmas.

14:18

So I, but

14:21

I feel like I'm gonna have to go

14:23

with, out of those choices,

14:25

I don't know, a Christmas

14:28

ham sounds so homey.

14:30

I do love a Christmas ham. We do

14:32

beef every year as well in my family now.

14:35

We do. We do a beef tenderloin

14:38

every year for Christmas. It's like the one

14:40

time of year that my mom makes, she's like, I learned

14:42

from the goose,

14:43

now I'm gonna make a beef tenderloin every year.

14:46

And it's one of my favorite pieces

14:48

of meat.

14:49

Like annually, I look forward to this

14:51

piece of meat on the plate, but this is, we're trying

14:53

to find an objective answer. And that's

14:55

a very much subjective choice.

14:58

But we're making our choices. Where

15:00

would you veer towards? No pun intended.

15:03

I'm torn three ways. I'm not a huge

15:05

lamb fan. It has to be like once in a while

15:07

for a lamb.

15:08

I did once go

15:11

to a friend's, went to like a friend's potluck

15:13

holiday dinner and they had made an entire

15:15

prime rib. So you would literally slice off,

15:18

you would make your own slices

15:20

of prime rib. That was incredible. According

15:24

to visiting Jennifer's family in the South,

15:26

it's always ham. I love ham.

15:28

I love ham so much. It's great.

15:31

I've told you both about the two turkeys of 2020, right?

15:34

What? No. I

15:36

ordered a turkey from,

15:39

no Butterball, one of those companies.

15:41

I ordered a turkey for Thanksgiving because then

15:43

you didn't know what you were gonna be able to get,

15:45

like supply chains were all weird. Oh, right. Yeah,

15:48

pandemic.

15:50

I got one and I asked for it to be

15:52

delivered, like bring it to my door.

15:54

Like I need to know it's arrived because if

15:56

it's just sitting down in the mail area, I might not

15:58

get to it right away.

15:59

salmonella.

16:01

They delivered it the wrong day. They didn't

16:03

tell me what day it was coming. That's what it

16:05

was. But it was fine when it got there. And

16:08

then another one I had canceled, but they sent

16:10

it anyway. So I got refunded for that and

16:12

I wound up with two turkeys for the place of one.

16:14

Two Turkey 2020. So one was in the

16:16

freezer, made one for Thanksgiving. The

16:19

second one had it for Christmas and that was a

16:21

good time. I love,

16:23

I

16:24

want to go back to, yeah, turkey's

16:27

tough too because I mean that is a great Christmas

16:29

dinner right there. I think a ham has

16:31

a couple of benefits for me as a Christmas

16:34

dinner. One is the smell of

16:36

a ham cooking. It is out

16:38

of all of these. I think that is the most inviting

16:41

of all of these that if you get the glaze, you

16:43

know, it's that sort of sweet, smoky,

16:46

fills the house with that scent. How

16:48

do you do your ham if you do it at the holidays, Patrick?

16:50

Well,

16:53

you know what?

16:54

I don't make a ham. No.

16:57

Do you go to Honeybaked and get a...

16:58

No, I have done that in the past, so

17:01

I'm not roasting it. But yeah, I've never

17:03

made a ham in the oven and I will also say

17:05

that what I do, do, do

17:08

do, is

17:10

Easter ham. So

17:13

I say turkey for Thanksgiving. Ham

17:15

for Easter was like a steamed

17:18

cabbage and, you know, boiled

17:20

potatoes. I like a ham for

17:22

Easter,

17:23

even though I'm not, I don't observe. I

17:26

observe all religions in a culinary

17:29

sense. Yeah,

17:29

sure. I love that.

17:31

But not religiously. So

17:33

I think I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to backtrack

17:36

and I'm going to say two, there was, what was the beef

17:38

option? Like we're on

17:39

a plane. Just roast beef.

17:41

Roast beef. I think I'm going to have to pick

17:43

roast beef because mom's beef

17:46

Wellington would be

17:48

a roast beef in

17:50

a pastry with mushroom, a mushroom

17:52

duxelles. Oh, I do love

17:54

that. Does she do the small one cream

17:56

of mushroom soup from Campbell's with

17:59

the mushrooms.

18:00

I don't know the man and then

18:02

roll it in and do it

18:03

no she's not ridiculous she wants

18:06

to spend time with her family. Any

18:08

homemade that we all do we're from massachusetts.

18:11

I do watch that show semi homemade

18:13

on the food network

18:15

i have seen some of her videos lover

18:18

class yes she's always

18:20

with a glass of wine while cooking the best

18:22

yeah love it look i like i said my

18:24

subjective answer is roast

18:26

beef. Yeah i think turkey

18:29

thanksgiving and i've never

18:31

had lamb on criss no

18:34

yeah it sounds fun i need. Anytime

18:36

i cook lamb it's always i always do meatballs cuz

18:39

i'm not sure how to do lamb

18:41

well so i just get ground lamb and

18:44

spice it you know get my Mediterranean

18:46

spices and do it that way. Boy you can

18:48

cook the gas my god can you cook

18:50

to my friend and i

18:53

do roast lamb but not for a holiday.

18:56

To me it i don't see what holiday that

18:58

would be on so of the four options

19:00

where do you gentlemen stand.

19:02

Like i said i'm fully happy with roast beef

19:05

but how i feel like i've had turkey

19:07

and enjoyed it i've had ham many years and

19:09

enjoyed it but the one thing i think about

19:11

and i think about it year round is

19:13

the time that i had prime rib. I'm

19:17

happy to go with beef i think that's a wonderful

19:19

protein and you can serve it in so

19:21

many different ways. Whatever

19:25

it is to a communal piece

19:27

of beef and you're all tearing hunk off of it meeting

19:29

it. I like we did in the case people day

19:32

exactly so do you sit at jennifer's

19:34

mom's table on christmas eating

19:36

that ham going man i gotta tell you guys about

19:38

this one christmas i have.

19:39

Yeah that's all i

19:42

do i think about other best

19:44

way to appreciate yourself to a mother

19:46

is going to go to this other place i want

19:48

had the. Anyway

19:53

thanks for the yeah fine no.

19:56

Oh

19:58

all right guys talk about the goose you. Good. Your

20:00

family talks about the bad news. We still talk about the bad

20:02

news. Oh, my God. It's worth it. The memory.

20:05

The memory alone.

20:09

All right. What's next, Al?

20:10

There's another. We're sticking with food. Let's go to the

20:13

side dishes. How do we cruise, ask? Oh,

20:15

for

20:15

stuffing slash dressing. Sweet

20:18

or savory? So sweet would be

20:20

you put the cranberries of the raisins and stuff

20:22

in there. And

20:24

yeah, we all have the same face to that, right? Which

20:26

is how dare you? Yeah. Could you hear that?

20:28

Yeah. Yeah. I can see the

20:30

visible disgust. Yeah. On

20:33

a sweet dressing.

20:36

It feels like one of those questions. It's

20:38

like I make this thing

20:41

that nobody else does and people give me grief

20:43

for it. You guys are cool with this, right?

20:45

Right. Hey, no,

20:48

if you go to someone's house and use their bathroom, you're not supposed

20:50

to flush, right? I'm just like,

20:53

I know you have two options, but

20:56

is it the thing I think? It's

20:59

savory. It's savory. It's

21:01

supposed to be savory.

21:02

Yeah. What goes in your stuffing? I have

21:05

a question. Yeah. Does

21:06

anybody at any point in the

21:08

year make their stuffing

21:10

inside a bird cavity?

21:13

I do not.

21:14

Now I do not.

21:15

No, no. Okay, great. Always a pan on the

21:17

side. Yes. Yeah, I

21:20

have used it. I not really a cavity,

21:22

but the way I did do it one year where

21:24

I made a stuffing and I made a turducken.

21:28

Oh, I did it as a layer

21:30

between the layers in a turducken. That

21:32

makes sense. That makes sense. That's

21:34

not like a bone possible bacteria

21:37

breeding ground.

21:37

Right exactly. Toxic

21:38

dump. Yeah, you're never supposed

21:41

to put your stuffing in inside a

21:43

bird. No.

21:45

All right. I have the next one for us. This is from Greg

21:47

on. What's up, Greg? Greg on. Greg

21:49

on. Yeah. Longtime

21:52

contributor to the show. Greg on. Asks

21:55

best day of the week

21:57

for Christmas to fall upon.

21:59

I know. I

22:01

know. Yeah. What do

22:03

you think? Wednesday. Wednesday, you're off all

22:05

week. Guaranteed. I'm not going to get the same

22:07

thing. No one can talk to you. No one can text you.

22:10

No one can ask you for a f***ing favor.

22:13

Yep. And guess what? Because

22:15

New Year comes exactly the

22:17

same day of the week the next week. You're not going back to

22:19

work until what, the fifth?

22:22

The sixth? The following year. Oh,

22:24

wow. Yeah. Smack

22:26

dab in the middle of the week. Has it ever happened

22:28

in our lifetimes? I don't know. I

22:31

mean, doesn't happen every seven years?

22:33

Maybe. Does everything happen

22:35

every

22:35

seven years? Is that true? I don't know. Is

22:38

that true? I feel like every seven years,

22:40

like, don't they,

22:42

aren't they by nature in a rotation?

22:44

Aren't they leap years though where it's different? Oh,

22:47

leap years. I think February screws over the whole calendar

22:49

constantly all the time. Yeah. Like

22:52

in terms of what days things are? Because

22:54

you think every seven days. I think that's

22:56

how it

22:57

is. Like my book stays on the... Guys, guys, guys,

22:59

give

23:00

a free t-shirt to anyone who

23:02

emails you or texts you. It was a

23:04

Wednesday for Christmas and a Wednesday for New

23:06

Year's this year. In this

23:08

year, 1923, 1974.

23:10

If it ever happened,

23:12

I want to know.

23:13

I'll tell you what, first email I see about it,

23:15

we will send you a t-shirt.

23:17

Heck yeah. Not me. And maybe

23:19

some of our new merch. No, not you. Not

23:21

you. You've only made the call.

23:24

Maybe else we'll get maybe the wrench fight t-shirt that

23:26

we haven't rolled out yet. Oh yeah. We've

23:28

got our new Philly wrench fight t-shirt. That's

23:30

right. Yeah.

23:32

What? In 2020, 2024. Ken's getting a free

23:34

t-shirt. Ken's getting a free t-shirt. Ken's getting a free

23:36

t-shirt.

23:36

No, Ken figured

23:39

it out. What

23:40

hasn't happened in the past? Oh

23:42

yeah. Never. In history. How

23:45

about the last time it happened? Ken, you can't answer. You've

23:47

already won a t-shirt.

23:48

Ken can't answer. You've already won the t-shirt that you have emailed

23:50

us multiple times about getting the design for.

23:55

We're really on top of it, Pat, that you wouldn't believe. I

23:57

love this so much. This is all

23:59

staying.

23:59

it, right? You're not going to miss that stuff.

24:02

Oh yeah, not at all. We don't take all of that. We've

24:04

got to stay in. Everything

24:06

stays in. Alright, that was easy.

24:08

Asked and answered. It is Wednesday. Yeah.

24:10

Alright, what's next Hal?

24:13

Alright, from Liz Johnson. What is the

24:15

best non-specific holiday

24:17

greetings? Some examples would be, and I don't know if there's a

24:19

third one. So

24:20

the two I have are Happy

24:23

Holidays and Seasons Greetings. Is there another

24:25

one?

24:26

Like Happy Cold Fun Times. There's

24:28

no third one I can think of.

24:30

I mean Happy Holidays rolls off

24:32

the tongue pretty easily. Yeah. Yeah.

24:34

If we're going with the Arthur Lesak

24:36

parts of speech, which is most

24:39

physically difficult to say, Seasons

24:41

Greetings is more difficult than Happy Holidays.

24:44

What is that? What

24:45

is Arthur Lesak? Oh, it's a great one. It was one

24:47

of these speech books that we did in drama

24:49

school where we learned all about play

24:51

and link versus prepare and link. Okay,

24:54

I'll give you real quick. This is crazy sidebar.

24:56

Like my name, Mark Gagliardi. To

25:00

play and link means I play

25:02

both consonants fully.

25:05

So I would say my name, Mark Gagliardi.

25:07

To prepare and link means the previous

25:10

consonant you only prepare, you don't

25:12

complete, and then you fully say

25:14

the next one. So Mark Gagliardi. The

25:17

difference between Mark Gagliardi and Mark Gagliardi.

25:20

Oh. Which one do you say? I just say Gagliardi.

25:23

That's easier. Yeah. So much easier.

25:24

Wow. Anyway,

25:26

that's a little bit of deep dive nerddom. I

25:29

was thinking

25:29

of drama school. Did

25:32

you go to – I didn't either have – I mean I went to

25:34

acting classes in San Francisco in

25:36

the

25:36

Tenderloins, but I didn't

25:38

go to a real – I didn't go to a college.

25:42

I failed out of Parsons. I didn't go to a real –

25:45

but I took improv. Improv I think

25:47

really taught me maybe more than

25:49

scene study and drama scenes.

25:52

Yeah. And improv was kind of

25:54

about just don't try to

25:56

be funny. Just try to connect

25:58

with someone. give them everything

26:01

they need. That to me was sort of the best

26:03

acting classes I took, I saw.

26:05

Oh, 100%. I took

26:07

a couple acting classes. I did improv in college for sure.

26:09

I took some acting classes. I was a theater minor,

26:12

but I was a market, I have a marketing degree. So

26:14

like, he's learning Arthur Lessick's

26:17

parts of speech or whatever. And then

26:19

like my professors like, all right, you're

26:21

running a fake sneaker company. Don't go bankrupt.

26:24

Invariably, invariably

26:27

with like two, three, we were

26:29

like, there's a labor strike

26:31

and everything's shutting down and. Oh

26:34

my God,

26:35

that's incredible. For some

26:37

reason by Peru, like I don't know what's going

26:39

on.

26:40

Wow. And all I have to offer is,

26:42

and this is not meant to be racy in any way,

26:44

I excelled my first

26:46

year at Parsons School of Design in nude

26:49

life studies. So I could draw either

26:51

of you nude fabulously.

26:53

That was my ace subject.

26:56

Would you need

26:58

us modeling and posing for this or just?

27:00

Yes, I can't make it up in my mind

27:02

what you look like naked. I probably shouldn't

27:04

by now. We've been friends for 20 years. Really?

27:09

I should have pictured you naked by now.

27:12

Oh my God. I had

27:14

a presentation. I think it was

27:16

for the sneaker thing. We had

27:18

like our group, it was like a group of four

27:20

of us. Like we were terrible. Like we failed

27:22

on every level, but I thought

27:24

in our presentation, if I juggled

27:26

at the top, that would be enough

27:28

for that. That would be

27:30

enough for that. And you'd be like, well, Mr. Lublin, your

27:33

team has displayed absolutely no business

27:35

acumen. But I'll be damned if I

27:38

wasn't amused by your juggling A+.

27:43

You know what, though? Now, you

27:45

have still

27:47

not

27:48

lost as much money in sneakers

27:50

as Kanye West.

27:52

That's true. That's true. And give it that way.

27:54

All three of us

27:56

combined have not lost

27:58

as much money in sneakers as Kanye West. Kanye

28:00

West. What's that time machine? I'm going

28:02

back. What was this topic again? That's non-specific

28:04

holiday greeting. It sounds like it's happy holidays. I feel like it's happy holidays.

28:06

I

28:07

have always had that taken. It is just happy holidays. You

28:09

can say that all year long. There are plenty of holidays I don't know about. It's

28:11

just easiest to end on a Friday by any

28:13

email you send, just say happy holidays. And

28:16

if they don't know what you're

28:17

talking about, then they have to look it up.

28:28

For my friends from other cultures, I

28:30

don't know what the proper greeting for

28:32

assorted festivals and holidays

28:35

around the world are. So, I

28:37

just say happy holidays when I know it is

28:39

no ruse or Eid or whatever,

28:42

various cultures. I

28:44

just say happy holidays. Yes. So,

28:46

I don't get anything wrong. All right. Our

28:48

next topic from Michaela Bergland. Interesting.

28:52

What are you reading? What do you guys

28:54

think of the pickle

28:56

on a Christmas tree tradition where the

28:58

first family member to find the pickle

29:01

gets to open the first present? Yes

29:03

or no? Now, is this, Ken, I

29:05

want some clarification on this. I've never done

29:07

this. Is this a real pickle

29:09

or is it like an ornament that looks like a pickle

29:12

that's hidden in the tree? My understanding is

29:14

that it originated with a real pickle, but now they

29:16

actually sell Hallmark usually has like a pickle

29:18

ornament you can buy somewhere on

29:20

the tree. So it's moved to a fake one. Hallmark

29:23

made this up.

29:24

Hallmark made this up. No,

29:26

this is bored families of the holidays hiding

29:29

pickles in trees originally and decided to

29:31

be capitalized by Hallmark.

29:33

So, it was a real,

29:34

where did they come from? What is the origin

29:37

of

29:37

the pickle? There's a lot

29:39

of pickle stuff in a lot of families traditionally.

29:41

So, I'm assuming that you've been bored of

29:43

the holidays. You know how

29:45

it is with a family who doesn't want to talk.

29:47

Hide a pickle of the tree.

29:49

Hide the pickle. Hide the pickle. Someone

29:52

needs that cultural. Listen,

29:56

you know now as much as I do about

29:58

the long tradition.

29:59

Sorry, I was going to mute myself.

30:02

Of hiding a pickle in a tree. Wait,

30:04

is this normal? Is this the same as

30:06

the other? The question just says,

30:08

pickle on the Christmas tree tradition or no?

30:11

Would you do this tradition? I

30:13

guess now they... Well, you know, now I

30:15

would. Now I would. If you know

30:17

you can hide a pickle somewhere in your Christmas

30:19

tree... Yeah. Or someone

30:22

could, so no one knows. Mm-hmm. And

30:24

you're like, it's like a king's cake. Yeah. I

30:27

do like that. I do like a little... You find the pickle in the king's cake. And

30:29

then you have to buy all the pickle next year. And then you have to buy all the pickle next year. And

30:31

you get to open the... The first present.

30:34

You don't pick the tree. And then if you

30:36

get the bite, then it's a pickle and you get to open it again. The

30:39

entire family tearing the tree apart,

30:41

trying to find the pickle first.

30:43

I wanted to be a real pickle though. I like

30:45

the idea of just sort of fashioning a

30:47

fish hook... Yeah. ...on an S hook

30:50

and hanging a real preferably

30:52

dill

30:53

pickle somewhere in an actual

30:56

tree. Hanging

30:58

food on the tree is not a new thing.

31:00

No. I'm not. No. And

31:02

I'm... It just sounds funny.

31:03

If I can't find a pickle, a real

31:05

pickle hiding in a tree, you need to go to an ENT.

31:08

Like immediately there's something real... But if

31:10

that's the thing, is it going to make your Christmas

31:12

tree smell? Like, I love the pine

31:14

tree smell. If I come home and

31:17

I smell a dill pickle, I'm like, will

31:19

somebody please find that thing? I don't think they're

31:21

hiding like a big 7-Eleven pickle or a tree

31:23

somewhere. I would assume

31:26

it's a smaller pickle or else it's not going to be much of a hunt. A smaller

31:28

pickle.

31:28

You know what though? I'll tell you this. As

31:31

a childless lady who is so

31:34

happy about that decision every damn

31:36

child-free day, it could be

31:38

a way to get all the kids to climb up

31:40

in the tree and leave you alone for 25, 30 minutes.

31:44

Yeah. Particularly if you don't actually hide the pickle.

31:47

There is no pickle. You tell them

31:49

there's a pickle hidden in the tree.

31:51

I see.

31:52

I wonder if these families also think that the

31:54

Velasic stork... Like, the kids think the

31:56

Velasic stork is bringing the presents. Bring the

31:58

baby.

31:59

under the train. They said the craziest presents

32:02

I ever had. Did you leave some

32:04

herring for me in a bucket? I

32:07

do want to throw out one devil's advocate

32:09

moment or one devil's advocate

32:11

thought for the pickle.

32:13

It is something that none of us have ever done.

32:16

It sounds ridiculous, sure,

32:18

but I am thoroughly in favor

32:21

of if your family has a holiday tradition,

32:24

I'm a fan of the more holiday

32:26

traditions, the better. With

32:29

layrum and layrum and layrum, I think traditions

32:31

around the holidays are important. I think they bring

32:33

families together. If that is a thing you

32:36

do, God bless you for it and

32:38

God bless us everyone. That

32:40

is my small soapbox to

32:43

say, if you have this pickle tradition,

32:46

go for it. I love it. I do have

32:48

additional information for you.

32:50

The Christmas pickle is a German-American Christmas

32:53

tradition. A decoration in the shape of a pickle

32:55

is hidden on a Christmas tree with the

32:57

finder receiving either reward or

33:00

good fortune for the next year. There

33:02

are a number of different origin stories attributed

33:04

to the tradition, including one originating

33:06

in Germany. This theory has since been

33:08

discounted and is now thought to be a German-American

33:11

tradition created in the late 19th century.

33:13

In fact, the New York Times reported that out of over 2,000

33:16

Germans polled, it

33:17

determined that 91% were unaware of

33:19

the legend. Right on. Wait,

33:22

so 9%? So

33:24

basically it sounds like a- A German-American

33:26

population. Like a lot of things associated

33:29

with Christmas in the US, it sounds like

33:31

it was a US Christmas

33:33

tradition. I do like it though.

33:35

I like it. Yeah, why not?

33:37

Why not? Sure.

33:39

And read on the traditions. You guys can throw it to break.

33:41

All right. We are going to take a quick break

33:43

and when we come back, we are going to continue

33:45

to clean the sleigh with our dear friend,

33:48

Padgett Brewster, and Hal is going

33:50

to go feverishly look for

33:52

a pickle in any tree. I'm gonna

33:54

find it. We'll be right back.

33:57

I'm gonna find it. I'm gonna

33:58

find it.

34:03

Oh darling, why won't you accept

34:05

my love?

34:06

My dear, even though you are a duke,

34:09

I could never love you. You, you

34:12

borrowed a book from me and never returned

34:15

it.

34:17

Save yourself from this terrible fate by listening

34:20

to Reading Glasses. We'll help you get those

34:22

borrowed books back and solve all your

34:24

other reader problems. Reading Glasses every

34:26

Thursday on Maximum Fun.

34:30

I'm Emily Heller. And I'm Lisa

34:32

Hannah-Walt. And we're the hosts of Baby Geniuses.

34:34

We've been doing our podcast for over 10 years. When

34:37

we started, it was about trying to learn something

34:39

new every episode. Now it's about

34:41

us trying to actively get stupider

34:43

and it's working. Hang

34:47

out with us and you'll hear us chat about

34:49

gardening. Horses. Various

34:51

problems with our butts. And all the

34:54

weird stuff that makes us horny. That's so

34:56

weird. All that stuff. Baby

34:59

Geniuses, a show for adult idiots

35:01

every other week on Maximum Fun. We

35:04

know everything. Baby Geniuses,

35:07

how's something we don't know?

35:11

Alright, we're back. Hal, what have you got

35:13

for us?

35:14

I don't know. I'm still waiting for it to come in. It

35:16

hasn't been shared. We all got pickle fever. We did.

35:19

We showed a pickle fever. Pickle fever. That

35:22

walk is the pickle sauce. Pickle fever. Alright,

35:25

here we go. This is

35:27

from Jordana Kane.

35:29

That's a Christmas Eve dinner. So, I assume

35:31

the roast is for Christmas Day, correct? Oh, Christmas

35:33

Eve dinner. So, it's the night before. Uh-huh.

35:36

What

35:36

are you having for Christmas Eve dinner? Is

35:38

there like pizza?

35:40

You have pizza?

35:41

You know, for my family, I leave

35:44

this one to you guys and I will chime in.

35:46

However, for my family, Christmas Eve

35:48

is the big dinner. We do the

35:50

big dinner on Christmas Eve and

35:53

then we wake up Christmas morning and

35:55

we have a big breakfast. We make the same breakfast

35:57

every Christmas morning, which is where my chief...

35:59

grits recipe comes from and

36:01

the sausage and egg casserole

36:04

and frequently Mickey waffles

36:06

and oh yeah you make them

36:09

you make the ears you make the waffle and then

36:11

you add ears oh boy oh boy oh boy

36:14

oh yeah we're real Disney files

36:16

in my family that's fantastic

36:18

so we do our Christmas dinner on Christmas

36:20

Eve

36:21

so

36:23

what I this one I'm

36:25

in the dark about what do you guys think I

36:27

I am in in the

36:30

past we

36:32

have my family has gotten

36:35

Chinese takeout

36:37

Chinese takeout does feel like the other classic

36:40

Christmas dinner like yeah

36:41

the other way though and I think it was from a

36:43

Christmas story they turkey flies off and

36:45

they go and have Chinese I think it the

36:48

idea was oh we're going to be cooking

36:50

all tomorrow morning so we don't want to have to think about

36:52

it and we want to have left overs in

36:54

case everything goes you

36:57

know poorly tomorrow so I think

37:00

we always got Chinese takeout and not good

37:02

Chinese just whatever we could

37:04

get our hands off

37:05

yeah so that to me

37:08

most Chinese takeout is not that good let's

37:10

face it but that's why it's good

37:12

because

37:12

it's not good yeah just

37:14

low main out of a white cardboard box

37:17

with top six sweet sour pork

37:19

while you're watching whatever Christmas

37:21

movie everybody walk away right

37:24

Christmas Eve with sandwiches and snacks feels

37:26

like yeah something simple if you don't do what we

37:28

did which was the big dinner on the eve

37:30

you have the big dinner the night well that's

37:32

yeah we do the big one on Christmas Eve do you

37:34

I think I mean growing up obviously we're

37:36

Jewish so it was like Chinese and movies

37:39

on Christmas Day because that's when you were sort

37:41

of free to do it but I agreed like if you're

37:44

I've now cooked

37:45

for both Thanksgiving and Christmas like

37:47

I enjoy baking the turkey and mashed potatoes

37:49

and dress I like doing all that stuff

37:51

but I don't want to hopefully I've done

37:54

all my prep work yeah and I could

37:56

be easy so yeah you don't want to cook the

37:58

night before and

37:59

the next day. And Hal can cook like

38:02

an MF2. I did not clarify

38:05

that before. Hal taught me how to make matzo

38:07

ball soup. He did. He taught all

38:10

of the members of the maximum fund family

38:12

how to make matzo ball soup via the family cookbook.

38:15

You both are great, great

38:16

cooks. And it is still, I think,

38:19

sort of uncommon for

38:20

non-professional chef men

38:22

to cook as well

38:25

and as often as you two do. So I applaud

38:28

you. Well,

38:29

thank you. We applaud you back because

38:31

still

38:31

one of my fondest culinary memories

38:34

is going to your house and making

38:37

banana leaf wrapped fish.

38:38

We went to, is it Banglok?

38:40

We went to Banglok Market? Banglok Market. That

38:43

was so much fun. Gagli already

38:45

taught my husband and I, and this was like 13

38:48

years ago.

38:48

This was a long time ago, yeah. Taught

38:51

us

38:51

how to make that banana leaf wrapped

38:53

steamed fish.

38:55

Oh, so good. Wow. I

38:58

feel like the answer for this particular question is takeout.

39:01

Takeout, yeah. The night before, yeah. Yeah.

39:03

Christmas Eve. Specifically Chinese, but if you

39:05

don't have a good Chinese spot, a good bad Chinese

39:07

food. A fewest choice. Yeah. Yeah. Also,

39:10

whatever. Takeout. If you want a pizza, a strumboli. I

39:12

don't know why I keep thinking of strumboli. I feel like

39:14

nobody has a strumboli. It's sort of the forgot, like

39:16

you just order a pizza.

39:17

Is there a dish called strumboli

39:20

as well? Yeah. And what is it?

39:21

Strumboli is like a rolled

39:24

calzone. It's like a rolled, yeah, a calzone

39:26

is like folded. This is like rolled, it almost looks like a

39:28

loaf of bread, but it's filled with

39:30

like inverted pizza. Yeah.

39:32

Okay, thank you. I've never had one. I've never had

39:35

one. You only

39:35

know Strumboli, the villain from Pinocchio.

39:38

Correct. Yeah.

39:39

I don't know if the dish is named for him or not. Probably

39:42

not. Or

39:43

was he named for the dish? I don't know. He's

39:44

named for the dish because he's full of pizza guts.

39:47

I feel like Strumboli

39:50

and calzones are both just someone

39:52

that worked in a pizzeria, looking at the pizza and going,

39:54

what if not flat?

39:56

Like it's just. Yeah. I

39:59

do love a calzone.

39:59

a calzone is a beautiful, beautiful

40:02

thing. Oh yeah. It looks like the

40:04

first step of how I would eat a whole pizza.

40:06

Like I'd fold it in half, fold it in half again. Fold

40:08

it over, crimp it, crimp it, crush

40:11

some butter on it, put it back in there. So

40:15

good. All right. Dave Hoffman asks,

40:18

opening stockings. This is interesting. I'm not sure exactly

40:20

how to take this so you two can help figure

40:22

out what that means.

40:24

This is as written opening stockings colon

40:26

first or last. Oh, first.

40:29

First as in like first thing in the morning when you wake up. First

40:31

thing you do. First thing in the morning. First thing you do. Stocking.

40:33

Yeah. Stocking. So like that stairs. Yeah.

40:36

I'm a hundred percent first. Yeah.

40:37

Yeah. Yeah. Cause they're the smaller, like fun

40:40

things, candy, little gifts. So

40:41

you don't want to, otherwise you're starting

40:44

with the main course and then having the salad. It's

40:46

also

40:46

stockings are always, or at least in

40:48

my family, it's, oh, eight Emery

40:51

boards. Thank you. And you

40:53

know, it's like, Oh, a pen

40:56

shaped like a baseball bat. It's not,

40:58

you know. They're really fun, like

41:00

goofy little, yeah. Oh, Chinese candy.

41:03

It's fun. I always get from,

41:05

uh, from Santa Claus always brings

41:08

me for some reason, you know, we all get different things from

41:10

Santa in our stocking, but Santa

41:12

always brings me sample size

41:14

versions of assorted colognes,

41:17

which I always immediately

41:21

put on and then during breakfast,

41:23

I smell like a nightclub owner. It's amazing.

41:26

That's a great

41:27

thing to have in a travel bag

41:29

though. It's got a different sample cologne

41:31

in every town. I

41:33

have a whole shelf of little

41:35

sample colognes that like, when I go on a vacation, I

41:37

just grab one, toss it in the bag. Great.

41:39

I don't know what's more adorable. Your

41:41

sample cologne collection or the fact that you

41:43

still think Santa put that in

41:45

your

41:46

stocking. Santa put that

41:48

in my stocking and I will never hear

41:50

or acknowledge anything else.

41:53

Padgett, he has a whole fleet of chemist

41:56

elves that are working. I remember, I remember,

41:58

I

41:58

remember last year's. padded upholstered

42:01

toilet seat covers. Oh

42:04

yeah. One was an elf with a pointy

42:06

nose that if you didn't know that was in the

42:08

bathroom in the middle of the night, you

42:10

have experienced something

42:13

exciting. Shocking. It's

42:15

surprising. Patrick,

42:18

you're almost there. The elf did

42:20

not have the nose on it. Oh sorry. It

42:23

was the snowman's carrot. It was

42:25

the snowman's carrot nose.

42:27

Yeah. It was a bathroom surprise.

42:33

No, I'm surprised and I'm

42:36

proud of you, Gags, that you don't have them

42:38

up yet because I know you are

42:40

a Christmas lover.

42:42

I have all my hounds still up right

42:44

now.

42:44

I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I

42:46

no longer put the toppers on the toilet.

42:48

The toilet? Yeah. I

42:51

no longer do the... The contraption

42:52

that accepts urine. You

42:54

no longer are upholstering.

42:56

I'm no longer... Yeah, I'm no longer...

42:59

When you put it like that, it seems like I should

43:01

have done that long ago.

43:03

I love it. No, I think you should stick with

43:05

it. I think you should wash them.

43:06

But I think you should stick with it.

43:08

And hey, what if the elf was eating a popsicle?

43:11

That might be a fun addition for it.

43:13

Why not have them all have an element of danger? Smoking

43:16

a Churchill. He's

43:19

caught on the cob

43:21

the wrong way. Like you could do it a million different

43:23

ways. Who eats caught on the cob vertically?

43:26

And elves, they don't know how to eat the

43:29

cob. Elves are sneaky.

43:31

Yeah.

43:33

Ugh, my stomach hurts.

43:36

Stocking skills first. I have a related

43:38

stocking question. Please.

43:41

Yeah.

43:41

From Greg on. He's back.

43:43

Treats in the stocking or small gifts.

43:46

Like a weather radio.

43:49

Treats? Like we put like or nail clippers or

43:51

is it like candy and

43:53

stuff or is it like nail clippers

43:55

or you know like little things. It's nail

43:58

clippers. The example that he gave. Or

44:00

is nail clippers the example you are adding?

44:02

I'm giving I'm just thinking of small things that you

44:04

would load in like a wrench I don't know what you

44:07

like We're always Jennifer's

44:09

family. I think it's candy. So I've taken that

44:11

in our stocking, but I hang I

44:13

put candy in those So

44:16

Santa brings your place

44:17

Santa knows and bring oh, yeah, yeah,

44:20

yeah, Santa brings candy

44:22

I'll tell you Santa did give me one

44:24

year nail clippers, but the

44:26

nail clippers were from clearly

44:29

Santa visited some

44:31

tourist spot or an airport because

44:34

it was an enamel fish

44:36

And they're my favorite nail clippers.

44:39

So I Candy,

44:41

I don't know. I don't recall

44:44

Candy. Yeah. No, I just think the

44:46

Santa that my family is

44:48

friendly with is is

44:51

it's mostly what can you

44:53

get in the the travel aisle at

44:55

Rite-aid and then

44:58

occasionally you collect little bits and

45:00

bobs like an enamel fish Nail

45:03

clipper, you know during the year that you

45:05

sneak into a stocking. That's a surprise

45:08

does

45:08

the enamel fish nail

45:11

clipper have If

45:13

it was in fact from an airport

45:15

that Santa visited does it have the name

45:18

of a city or locale on it? No,

45:20

no, it doesn't it's just a beautiful. It's lovely

45:23

and tiny So no TSA will

45:25

take it away because TSA will

45:27

take away certain cuticle

45:29

trimming implements Yeah,

45:31

I didn't know you could take any nail clipper with you any

45:33

long

45:34

Little I always keep one in my in my top kit.

45:37

So I just like that, you know, there's a doctor

45:39

Yeah, what does

45:40

that mean? Stop kit like your little travel

45:43

your little toiletries bag. Yeah, but why you think doc

45:45

kit What is just what I've always

45:47

I think it's an old military thing.

45:49

We just call it a doctor. Yeah Stop

45:51

what military what could that stand

45:53

for?

45:54

Kiss army. What army are you at? What do

45:56

you hold on?

45:59

We find out I'm going to be

46:01

in the region Germany when charles dappet

46:04

began producing a new type of toiletry bag in nineteen

46:06

twenty six topics being popular with members

46:08

of the US military. Everything came

46:11

from germany the doctor hit the pickles

46:13

christmas a lot of christmas decorations

46:15

on the christmas tree yeah yeah i do

46:17

a mix or santa brings me

46:20

a mix. No there is frequently

46:22

one of those like

46:23

m&m candy canes. Little

46:27

sample cologne and m&m candy cane.

46:30

I like it yeah that's interesting

46:32

a mix a mix.

46:34

I'm not so we like when santa gives us

46:36

a mix yeah

46:37

why you don't respect to one new

46:39

but everything in there

46:40

no big small high

46:42

low. Yeah

46:43

okay next topic comes from leslie

46:46

trotman also frequent contributors

46:48

show what's up leslie is it weird

46:50

to ask for basic hygiene

46:53

products. Like what's on your

46:55

christmas list this is according to leslie

46:57

it says we do hygiene stockings

47:00

to face toothbrushes so etc

47:02

i kinda love that.

47:04

Ask for it

47:06

yeah yeah ask for

47:08

it is interesting

47:09

is she writing to santa yeah

47:11

maybe.

47:13

Are you guys not.

47:16

I think santa knows what i

47:18

want yeah

47:19

i just wish it you just heard the kid

47:21

in a. I

47:25

didn't mean to i was tentatively

47:28

answering.

47:30

I didn't mean to show like a. It's

47:37

the question is is it weird to which

47:39

i would say objectively probably

47:41

but it's not bad.

47:43

The question is weird the practices.

47:47

You can ask and wish for anything

47:50

i go back to what i said before

47:52

any tradition that your family have

47:55

a holiday great y'all do you

47:57

it's gonna just bring you closer together.

47:59

Yeah.

47:59

Yes, and we do do a lot of that.

48:02

My family, there's there are a lot of well

48:05

there with it travel Q-tips,

48:07

you can never go wrong because you're

48:09

going to want them because we don't all

48:11

necessarily go to hotels

48:13

that have a fancy little, you

48:15

know, grooming kit.

48:18

You want your own Q-tips by the way.

48:20

Yes.

48:21

So, personal hygiene. Yeah, we

48:23

are. Yeah. Sure. Our stockings have many.

48:26

Yeah. Although it raises more questions

48:28

than it answers. If that

48:30

is what you want, then by all

48:33

means, fill that like mini deodorant

48:35

toothbrush, toothpaste. Love it.

48:38

I like the idea that you don't want that for

48:40

your stocking.

48:42

You want it for like... For them and them.

48:44

Yeah, it's like, you know what I want? I want howl

48:47

stocking to be all hygiene stuff.

48:50

Yeah, if I didn't ask for it and I got it, I

48:52

would feel I would be like, oh, I've done something.

48:54

Yeah. It's like when...

48:56

I've done something wrong.

48:57

I was always told, if someone offers you gum,

49:00

take it. It may not be for the experience that you're

49:02

having. Yes. Maybe for

49:04

stairs. Yes. Also, if there's access

49:06

to a bathroom, go try to pee at least.

49:08

You never know where you might need

49:10

a bathroom and always try. Yeah.

49:13

Yeah. All right. I have a combined topic

49:15

here. Those are the topics that they dovetail

49:18

into one another. We'll start. These are suggested

49:20

individually by Leslie Trautman and Dave Hoffman.

49:23

Oh, the last two. Both

49:25

returning. Both our last two stocking topics. Our

49:27

returning champion. And number one

49:30

is

49:30

office party or office dinner.

49:33

Now, am I the only one who's worked in corporate

49:35

America extensively? Yeah. Yeah.

49:38

I'll tell you what I love about a dinner is

49:40

I know I'm not paying for it. And as we get towards

49:43

the end, like there's a finite

49:45

amount of time that it lasts. I enjoy

49:48

the company of the people

49:50

I work with. I want to put that out there right

49:52

now. I enjoy spending time.

49:54

However, there is time when

49:56

I'm working there

49:58

and then when I am done, that time

49:59

is mine. And

50:01

so I like I enjoy

50:03

and I get the idea of like a party and stuff.

50:05

I think dinners are a little cleaner and

50:07

they're usually by department. So like

50:10

you go with your department, it's a good chance

50:12

for you to relate to one another outside

50:14

of the workplace environment. Office

50:16

parties, people invariably get drunk.

50:19

I've seen it happen. Yeah, not

50:21

fun. Lamp shade on the head.

50:24

It's like, I'm concerned, are they

50:26

going to be able to get home? Okay. I

50:28

see what you're saying. Yeah, but

50:30

that said, the company I've worked for for 13 years

50:32

has done some really fun

50:34

parties. One year we rented a boat,

50:37

like did like a horn blower cruise out of Marina

50:39

de Rey, which is really fun. Awesome. But

50:42

even that's like, all

50:43

right, you're on a boat now. Yeah, like,

50:45

I want to leave.

50:47

No, I can't leave. Yeah.

50:50

And to me, I want it like my time is

50:52

mine. And I appreciate gesture. But

50:54

ultimately, I want to I'd rather have the

50:56

dinner. It's a little bit more intimate. And

50:58

it really is an opportunity. I think those are

51:01

way better from a company perspective,

51:03

those are way better, specifically

51:05

for teams to hang out and

51:07

relate to each other personally. And there's

51:10

always some work talk, but a lot of it is

51:12

like, hey, what are you doing? What are you doing for the holidays?

51:14

How's everything been like a chance to just like

51:16

humanize

51:17

one another.

51:18

And I think that that's essential

51:20

to any working relationship anywhere.

51:24

I like that you humanize the people you work with.

51:25

I do too. And I think the only

51:28

thing I can compare it to is doing animated

51:31

shows.

51:33

Sometimes if you go to Comic Con to promote,

51:36

there have been parties where it's everyone

51:39

in the company, and it's just long

51:41

and you don't know everyone, you don't really talk about

51:44

anything. And then other times, it's

51:46

been this show that we all

51:48

worked on, but didn't get to meet each other on,

51:51

we're going to have a dinner. And then

51:53

you have an hour and a half, two hours to

51:55

talk to, oh, I heard about you when

51:58

you're work, but

52:00

you were in Chicago and I was recording from

52:02

here and I didn't get to meet you. And it did

52:04

feel more human

52:07

and sort of friendly and loving

52:10

over a large corporate party

52:12

that sort of feels like a company

52:15

just writing it off and you don't really get

52:17

to talk to anybody. So I

52:19

would choose a dinner.

52:21

Yeah, I like a dinner. I will play

52:23

Krampus Advocate for a quick

52:25

second and throw out a couple of pluses

52:27

for the party is the

52:30

lack of structure in that

52:32

as far as the obligation of it

52:35

that a dinner comes with because if it is

52:37

a dinner, you are A, it is a finite

52:40

beginning and end of the thing, a

52:43

party you can dip in, dip out. You

52:45

also at a dinner will have,

52:47

it can really vary depending

52:50

on your seat.

52:51

If it's one big table having a dinner

52:53

together

52:54

and your particular piece of

52:56

real estate

52:58

and maybe it's a complete stranger from

53:00

the company or you know what I mean? Like

53:02

there can be, you can have a vastly different

53:04

experience based on where

53:06

you are sitting at a holiday

53:08

party dinner. I agree. That

53:10

said, I think that the benefits of the dinner

53:13

do

53:13

tend to outweigh the

53:16

benefits of the party. Yeah, I don't

53:18

know if parties will have things to them. They

53:20

will do like a Yankee swap

53:22

or whatever or karaoke contest. Wait,

53:24

I don't want that. You are saying a party or a dinner? Party. Party.

53:26

Oh, what is the Yankee swap? Oh, the thing you don't want that. What's

53:30

that? Everybody brings a gift of a certain

53:32

amount or under a certain amount and then you

53:34

or Secret

53:43

Santa, they do that sometimes too.

53:45

But like that's the one where they are all like the first

53:47

person goes up picks a gift. Right,

53:50

right. I know the White Elephant. The next person can either take

53:52

it, yeah, the same thing. Got it. Just

53:54

different things. I wasn't sure

53:55

what everybody called it. I thought Yankee

53:57

swap was. I have been to business

53:59

dinners. for a production or

54:01

a show or a theater or a group of people where

54:04

people do get up and switch seats so

54:06

that they are talking to other

54:08

people.

54:10

That's what Yankee

54:11

swap meant. I've never heard that phrase before

54:13

but I have definitely seen that so

54:16

that you aren't just stuck where you

54:18

are and you're only talking to the person on the left or

54:20

right of you. People sort of get up and I'm

54:22

gonna go talk to Bruce and you you know people

54:25

move around to get to know each other a little

54:27

bit better and it feels intimate and thoughtful.

54:30

Yeah, I like a dinner that does that

54:32

a lot because if there is a you know aside from

54:34

the oh maybe I'm with someone I don't

54:36

want to be with if there is someone I do want

54:39

to be with chatting that I haven't seen in a while

54:41

or you know a good you know like if they

54:43

like that I love the idea of moving

54:45

around and a party does give you the opportunity

54:48

to move around moments with

54:50

more people. True. Yeah. So

54:52

the other half of this if you're having an office

54:54

party this is what Dave asked.

54:56

Is it better to have that party at the office

54:58

or off-site? Off-site. Off-site.

55:02

I don't want to eat

55:04

where I'd crap. Yeah, also

55:06

I don't think anyone can do

55:09

office parties at

55:13

the

55:14

workplace anymore. That's

55:16

I feel like I've been told.

55:18

Yeah, it's a liability issue and they have to take

55:20

it to basically if

55:22

you're inappropriate with someone

55:24

in the parking lot of the restaurant

55:27

where you're having the party

55:29

the company itself isn't responsible

55:31

for the actions of the employees while they're

55:33

out in public. So most

55:35

having

55:36

having seen deeply inappropriate

55:39

behavior at wrap parties they

55:41

are now no longer ever held

55:43

at stage or on the lot.

55:46

It

55:46

has to go somewhere else. I also

55:48

think that piece is like is huge.

55:51

Then the other thing of like let's all do something

55:53

fun

55:54

rather than let's see

55:57

the walls I see every day. Yeah, we're

55:59

already there.

55:59

all the time. I don't want to see that.

56:02

Let's all go together to Topgolf or whatever

56:04

and we'll have fun there.

56:07

I want to go to a paintball part. I've never done

56:09

paintball. I would love to

56:12

work at an office that

56:14

you go to paintball, although that could

56:16

be dangerous. I guess you could really shoot the

56:18

crap out of your

56:21

general manager or something. But I've never done paintball.

56:23

If they made a manager's team and an employee's

56:26

team and paintball, how would you paintball?

56:29

If it hurts though, you get hurts when the paintball hits

56:31

you. I've

56:31

heard that. That's why I've never done it. Yeah.

56:34

Can we do laser tag? Let's go do laser

56:36

tag. I love laser tag. Oh

56:37

no, not enough impact. I want

56:39

some impact. You want the pain. I want a cross

56:41

between laser tag and paintball.

56:43

I want a less

56:44

painful paintball. You want

56:46

a water balloon fight? Yeah.

56:49

Yes. Okay. I was going to say

56:51

we could do laser tag. Tiny

56:53

water balloon. Tiny, tiny

56:55

water balloon. I was going to say we could

56:58

play laser tag and

57:00

I'll peg you with tennis balls the whole time. You're

57:02

constantly trying to dodge them.

57:05

That would be fun. That

57:07

would be

57:08

fun. All right. That was like a game we play as

57:10

kids. Let's throw tennis balls at each other.

57:12

There was part of the game is I'm going

57:14

to hit you with a tennis ball. It was terrible

57:17

but exciting. It

57:18

still hurts less. A tennis

57:20

ball hurts less than a what was that

57:22

thing with the bouncy red? What was

57:24

that thing?

57:25

Oh dodgeball. Dodgeball

57:27

hurts. Yeah. There are dodgeball

57:30

leagues all over LA. They'll knock you over because

57:32

they'll knock you over. You're getting ahead with

57:34

that. That hurt. I didn't

57:37

like dodgeball. Yeah.

57:39

That

57:41

sucks. All right. Our next topic

57:43

from JD Evans.

57:45

This is a throwback. All right. Wasell

57:48

or punch

57:50

for the holiday party.

57:52

Look, I

57:54

love the I don't know. But if you're like

57:57

you can just make punch and call it Wasell.

57:59

Wait, I think.

57:59

I thought wassail, wassailing,

58:02

I thought wassail was caroling.

58:05

You're doing

58:05

it for the drink. You're doing it for wassail

58:08

is the drink, I think.

58:09

Wait a minute. Wassail is a spiced

58:12

ale or mulled wine drunk during

58:14

celebrations for 12th night and Christmas

58:17

Eve. What? Yeah. It's

58:19

the drink to go wassailing is to

58:21

go out and go

58:23

caroling and get the

58:25

pun. And they reward you. Get drunk and go caroling. Yeah.

58:28

Go to the house and if you carol for them,

58:30

they give you a mulled wine. Yeah.

58:32

Oh, I didn't know.

58:35

How many houses do you think it takes before they

58:37

go back to the first house and have no memory that they

58:39

were there? Here, we're here to

58:41

stay a song for you. And if you like

58:43

it or if you don't,

58:45

you can give us a drink. I

58:47

thought it was

58:48

wassailing we will go. What?

58:51

It's wassailing?

58:52

Yeah. Here we go. A wassailing. A

58:54

wassailing. Wassailing

58:58

in Massachusetts.

59:00

Wassailing we will go. In

59:02

my

59:02

Madrigal group in high school,

59:05

one of the songs we sang was wassail, wassail,

59:07

wassail, not bring us in wassail.

59:09

So it was like, I think it's a one of those ones that can go

59:12

either direction. Yeah. You can pronounce that however you

59:14

want. And actually, yeah, I'm looking out in the

59:16

dictionary. Thank you, Oxford dictionary.

59:19

Both of those pronunciations are acceptable.

59:22

Oh, okay. What was the question? From

59:24

your college day. Wassail or punch

59:26

for the holiday party? What was that guy's? Anthony

59:29

Rubino. What was his name from your college?

59:32

Which guy? The guy who did the parts of speech that taught you

59:34

how to say Anthony. Oh, Arthur Lesak. Arthur

59:36

Lesak, right. How would he say it? What would he

59:39

say was correct? Yeah, I think he would say

59:41

it depends on what the next word is.

59:43

Oh, what a no.

59:45

Yeah. Yeah, he's one of those.

59:47

Wassailing. I for

59:50

an office, I like the

59:53

mystery of a wassail.

59:54

Yeah. I'm going to go with that. Yeah. I

59:57

can have punch anytime a year. Exactly.

59:59

I'm not.

59:59

gonna go to a beach party in the summer and be like, yo,

1:00:02

I brought wassail. Or will you? You

1:00:06

know what? Now I will. I'll wear my jester costume.

1:00:09

I love it. I've been with a boar's

1:00:11

head. So

1:00:14

let's keep rolling. I got a couple

1:00:15

combining these. These are both from Giuliano. This

1:00:18

first one feeds directly off of what we were just talking

1:00:20

about. What is the best drink

1:00:23

to spice slash mole that

1:00:25

includes alcoholic and non-alcoholic options?

1:00:29

I guess apple juice? Like a cider?

1:00:31

Yeah, I think cider. I mean...

1:00:34

It smells... I think cider smells the best.

1:00:36

Everybody can have it if it doesn't have the booze already

1:00:38

in it. Throw some brandy in it or whatever if you

1:00:41

want to have the alcohol version.

1:00:43

Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta be apple cider, I think.

1:00:45

I have... I think they're Martinelli's. They're like... They look

1:00:47

like tea bags and they're a little mold

1:00:49

spice bag.

1:00:50

Yeah. So I'll get a bottle of cider and

1:00:52

I'll pour it into the pot and then I'll throw

1:00:54

those in and let it simmer. And I

1:00:57

don't care to drink it personally. Like it's fine.

1:00:59

I don't... But Jennifer really enjoys it. But I

1:01:01

like the smell. It makes it feel like the holidays.

1:01:03

Yeah. Mmm.

1:01:05

Oh, I should get that just for the smell. Yeah.

1:01:08

Yeah.

1:01:10

It is... It's nice when you're gonna... I'm not even a

1:01:12

huge apple cider drinker, but during the

1:01:14

holidays, I will frequently just... That's hell.

1:01:17

I'll have a big jug of it. I'll just put some on the stove

1:01:19

and throw a cinnamon stick in it just so it,

1:01:21

you know, wafts.

1:01:22

And if I want some, pour some out. A

1:01:25

little bit. Yeah. Some orange

1:01:27

slices. I mean the... Sorry, orange peel.

1:01:30

Yeah. Yeah. I

1:01:32

want that now.

1:01:33

Right?

1:01:34

You can do it.

1:01:36

You can have it anytime you want. You know what? You and

1:01:38

I are gonna go to that party this summer and

1:01:40

you bring the spiced cider. I'll bring

1:01:42

the wassail. That's gonna be an

1:01:44

amazing... And Hal will bring pickles and

1:01:46

hide in the sand. Oh,

1:01:50

and Ken has another good tip. Put it in the crock

1:01:53

pot all day. All day. I can do that.

1:01:55

Oh, I could do that. Do that with the pot. Brilliant. All

1:01:57

right. Here's the other thing that Julie asked.

1:01:59

Okay.

1:01:59

for canned whipped cream. So this is like the

1:02:02

you're ready with

1:02:03

your spray whipped cream. Regular

1:02:06

chocolate,

1:02:07

peppermint, pumpkin or something else for

1:02:09

those canned whipped creams, those spray

1:02:11

whipped creams. You don't like a spray whipped cream?

1:02:13

Purus, Purus, just the

1:02:15

just the original gangster.

1:02:18

Yeah, ready with Oh

1:02:20

man, hang on. Yeah, chocolate

1:02:21

peppermint. Where is he going?

1:02:24

What is he doing?

1:02:24

What is he doing? He's gonna bring out a

1:02:27

whole buffet of whipped cream. Would that be

1:02:29

a little whipped cream bottles to go with his?

1:02:31

His clothes. The thing about the original

1:02:34

flavor, canned whipped cream, which is the

1:02:36

correct answer is,

1:02:38

thank you. It just.

1:02:39

Ready with Oh, look, he's

1:02:42

doing with it. The

1:02:44

best part was the like the rose

1:02:46

out of that. Yeah. No, because that's with

1:02:48

it. That's like a nitrous. That's a drug.

1:02:51

Kids used to do that in high school.

1:02:53

Oh, yeah. I feel weird now.

1:02:56

Yeah, you should be dizzy. It's like you're

1:02:58

in the middle of a Keith Haring drawing

1:03:00

and there's just lines everywhere. And you're

1:03:02

where

1:03:02

one guy's head is just a wolf.

1:03:04

Gator. It

1:03:06

doesn't make more sense that it's a gator. Well,

1:03:08

it might be a wolf. Actually, now I don't know.

1:03:10

I

1:03:11

don't know. Keith Haring from

1:03:13

beyond. Tell us is it a wolf or

1:03:15

a gator in your block drawing? It is Halloween

1:03:17

tomorrow. Should we hold a séance and speak to you?

1:03:19

For Keith Haring. We'll talk to Keith Haring.

1:03:22

Amazing.

1:03:23

Let's throw them all in Warhol. Basquiat.

1:03:26

Yeah. Let's talk to

1:03:28

all of them. Let's talk to everyone from

1:03:30

the 70s and 80s. Hey, let's get

1:03:32

Rembrandt

1:03:32

too. I have some questions for Rembrandt.

1:03:35

Then. All right. Michaela

1:03:38

Berglund asks another one

1:03:40

from Michaela to in an episode is amazing.

1:03:42

Matching ornaments on your Christmas tree

1:03:45

or mismatched ornaments. What

1:03:47

does that mean? That is aesthetically coordinated

1:03:49

ornaments versus ornaments you made as a kid. Free

1:03:51

for all. Miss match. Absolutely.

1:03:53

Everything. Every goofy little.

1:03:56

The ugliest. The broken. Great

1:03:58

grandmas.

1:03:59

founded it Rite Aid, one

1:04:02

from Thrift Town, San Francisco 1994.

1:04:04

I want all mismatched, like

1:04:07

my silverware.

1:04:08

Yep. Oh yeah.

1:04:10

I'm a hundred percent team mismatch.

1:04:12

Yeah. We have stuff from Jennifer's like

1:04:14

when she was a baby, stuff from the 70s and the

1:04:16

80s, like crafted to best to the just

1:04:19

like the colored sort of bold ones

1:04:21

to Wally and Eve and Darth

1:04:23

Vader and my silly sports ones

1:04:26

that I've collected. Like we have everything

1:04:28

up there. A gorilla coming out of a gift

1:04:30

that I got, like she's coming out of a present

1:04:32

because I'm obsessed with gorillas, Padra. This is

1:04:35

somewhat new. And yeah. Oh,

1:04:37

this is new because I didn't know that.

1:04:40

Yeah. It's a very, I was a stuffed gorilla

1:04:42

that my parents got me like

1:04:44

in 2000. It just sat in my bedroom.

1:04:46

We were home one time after my mother

1:04:48

passed away. And I was like, I want to bring that back

1:04:51

to Los Angeles. Yeah. It's like something

1:04:53

that connects me to her. And then I just started watching

1:04:55

gorilla videos. And then I've bought

1:04:57

from that line. I think I have

1:05:00

nine or 10 of those gorillas. Oh,

1:05:03

doctor. I highly recommend all of the people of the world

1:05:06

listen to our recent best gorilla

1:05:08

episode. Yeah. In fact,

1:05:10

if someone has matching

1:05:13

and I don't want to judge because I want everyone to be happy.

1:05:15

I don't care what anyone does as long as they don't hurt anyone

1:05:17

else, do whatever you want. But to me, like

1:05:20

a coordinated matching Christmas

1:05:24

situation just makes me think of

1:05:26

the White House or, I

1:05:29

don't know, it just seems corporate

1:05:31

or so I feel like families

1:05:34

have even ornaments

1:05:36

they hate, but they have to put

1:05:38

up because it's been in the family.

1:05:40

And I like that because it's a memory

1:05:43

of a personal, you know, oh,

1:05:46

my brother made that piece of candy

1:05:48

cane in 1982. But I love it. You know,

1:05:51

that to me is the

1:05:54

coordinated designer. Everything

1:05:57

is red. And then there's this silver

1:05:59

and it's this.

1:05:59

To me, I just kind of don't get

1:06:02

it. It seems designy as

1:06:04

opposed to

1:06:05

ancestral and family and love.

1:06:08

Yeah.

1:06:09

Yeah, I feel like a Christmas tree is supposed

1:06:11

to be, at least for me it feels like, it's supposed

1:06:14

to be a time capsule

1:06:16

of souvenirs from an entire

1:06:18

family's existence. We have some

1:06:21

going back to before I was born

1:06:23

up until last year and I love

1:06:25

that. Yeah.

1:06:28

Tell the story of your family. And

1:06:31

I do also though, if you have the

1:06:34

space to put up another

1:06:36

tree, make it a secondary

1:06:38

tree. You know? If

1:06:40

you've got like a little, you've got a little tree in your

1:06:42

foyer or you've got, you know what? If

1:06:45

that is the one you want to do styled, like we're just going to do all

1:06:47

gold balls or anything. You know what?

1:06:50

That's

1:06:50

fine. But like, as far as the main, your family.

1:06:52

The real tree. Yeah. The

1:06:55

real tree. Yeah. The one.

1:06:57

And you can go in, look at and find like different little pockets

1:07:00

that remind you of different things.

1:07:02

Yeah. All right. Last topic.

1:07:05

All right. We've really, I didn't even realize

1:07:07

that we've been going for this long. Yeah.

1:07:10

That's great. Kept you over, Padgett.

1:07:12

No, I love you. Love you back.

1:07:14

What's up? I turned the potatoes on. Don't worry

1:07:17

about it.

1:07:17

Oh, good. Fantastic. Well,

1:07:19

we don't want them to, we want to make sure you get to the potatoes in time. So Leslie

1:07:22

Troutman asks,

1:07:23

best type of gift basket?

1:07:26

So I assume this is like edible arrangement

1:07:28

or things that you can cook with

1:07:30

or like trail mix slash like

1:07:32

a savory versus a candy. I

1:07:35

think there's a meat one. There's like a

1:07:37

Pepperidge Farm one. Yeah. Yeah.

1:07:41

Yeah. Bristol Farms too. Oh,

1:07:43

that's fancy. Yeah. Like

1:07:46

seasonal cheeses and meats. Yeah. Sharkummer

1:07:49

sausage given in the winter. Yeah.

1:07:51

What do you guys think?

1:07:52

I like a bottle of wine, a

1:07:55

bottle of balsamic vinegar, some

1:07:58

weird.

1:07:59

cheese that

1:08:01

you can hold. It's okay I'm swearing

1:08:03

occasionally, right? We'll bleep.

1:08:05

Yeah, you're fine. Oh good.

1:08:06

Like a wax-wrapped cheese

1:08:08

that doesn't expire for four or five years.

1:08:10

Oh yeah. A bronze something

1:08:13

pasta. Like I like a gift basket

1:08:15

that is just a couple of oddball

1:08:17

things. Yeah. And then

1:08:19

the all of the like chocolate and

1:08:23

candy stuff I just give to other people.

1:08:25

Yeah, right. You know, it's funny. One thing that

1:08:27

I noticed about all of those things in your

1:08:29

basket, which I would agree with entirely

1:08:32

is I think a great the best gift

1:08:34

basket is a culinary focused gift

1:08:37

basket. Yeah, you're right. And I also would love

1:08:39

I'm going to throw in one other thing, some

1:08:41

sort of

1:08:43

kitchen

1:08:44

implement. You know, usually

1:08:46

a corkscrew. Yeah, a cool corkscrew

1:08:49

or a cheese knife or salad tongs.

1:08:51

Yeah, something for it, something that will live

1:08:53

in your kitchen after all the all the perishables

1:08:56

are gone. You're right.

1:08:58

Yeah, I think that's kind of that's a perfect gift basket

1:09:01

to me.

1:09:01

Yeah, that's really good.

1:09:03

And not too much of that squiggly plastic

1:09:05

grass.

1:09:07

I don't like that. And I know it's I think

1:09:09

sometimes people depend on that too much. I

1:09:11

don't like it. I don't like it. I would prefer you

1:09:13

just scrunch up some paper that I can use

1:09:16

later to fill a

1:09:18

purse or a wet pair of boots. Give

1:09:20

me something I can recycle. You're supposed

1:09:23

to put paper in your boots if your boots are wet.

1:09:25

And really, I didn't know that. Like newspaper,

1:09:27

right packing paper. Why are you

1:09:29

filling your purses with it? To keep the shape.

1:09:32

You stuff it in your purse and then you zip it

1:09:34

shut and it keeps the shape of the purse.

1:09:37

I like that. Wow.

1:09:38

I don't have a lot

1:09:39

of structured purses,

1:09:40

but the structured purses I have

1:09:43

are in

1:09:43

great shape. This one's from 1941.

1:09:45

Well, some of them are. I know they are. First

1:09:51

is on eBay. We've seen the closet.

1:09:53

We've seen them. We've seen the closet

1:09:56

in the closet.

1:09:59

I know. Oh my God.

1:10:02

Well, that

1:10:04

is it for this Clean

1:10:06

Slay episode. Thank you to

1:10:08

all of the people of the world who offered topics.

1:10:11

You asked and we answered. Thank

1:10:13

you. Those were great. Those

1:10:15

were all great. Fantastic. Well curated

1:10:17

by Ken Plume

1:10:18

and Padgett, it is such a delight

1:10:20

to have you always. Guys,

1:10:22

I love you. I can't wait to see you in person

1:10:24

very soon. Ken, outstanding

1:10:27

job.

1:10:28

Amen. Your biggest hugs are coming your way.

1:10:31

Yeah.

1:10:32

Me. Yeah. Well, these

1:10:34

topics are closed. We

1:10:36

have many more topics to discuss, so please reach

1:10:38

out to us via email at wegotthispodcast

1:10:41

at gmail.com or you can join

1:10:43

us in our Facebook group. Share your holiday

1:10:45

traditions with us, which sounds like I'm about to promote

1:10:48

an album, but I'm not. Facebook.com slash

1:10:50

group slash we got this podcast. Thank

1:10:52

you to Wikkenpedia for joining us

1:10:54

several times. That's our producer, Ken Plume. Always

1:10:56

chime in with the facts. You can support him over

1:10:59

at Patreon.com slash Ken Plume. And isn't

1:11:01

that a nice thing to do for the holidays? Thank you

1:11:03

also to researcher Kate McManus, graphic

1:11:05

designer Uri Killman and QA engineer Jen

1:11:07

Alba. And thanks, of course, to our musicians, Jonathan

1:11:10

Dinerstein and Mike Furman for our score

1:11:12

and theme song respectively. And

1:11:14

thank you,

1:11:15

the people of the world who in all

1:11:17

sincerity have given us the opportunity

1:11:20

to do this year after year. This

1:11:22

is always one of our favorite episodes

1:11:25

of the year to get to do. And it is

1:11:27

because of you that we are still getting

1:11:29

the chance to do this and sit down and laugh

1:11:31

and have a great time. And thank you for your topics

1:11:33

and for your support for all of this time. Yeah,

1:11:36

you know.

1:11:37

Thank you. Thank you. Thank

1:11:39

you. For Hal Loveland, I'm Mark Gagliardi. For Mark Gagliardi,

1:11:42

I'm Hal Loveland. And don't worry, everybody.

1:11:44

We got this. We got this. Maximum

1:11:47

fun.

1:11:48

A worker owned

1:11:50

network of artists owned shows supported

1:11:53

directly

1:11:53

by you.