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#454 - Clean Sleigh

#454 - Clean Sleigh

Released Wednesday, 6th December 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
#454 - Clean Sleigh

#454 - Clean Sleigh

#454 - Clean Sleigh

#454 - Clean Sleigh

Wednesday, 6th December 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Hello, I'm Hal Lublin. And I'm Mark Gagliardi.

0:03

Since the dawn of humanity, one issue

0:06

has gone unsettled. With the fate of

0:08

the world in the balance, we're here

0:10

to settle once and for all. Queen

0:14

Sleigh? That's

0:18

right, don't worry everyone. We

0:20

got this. Podcasts should have a theme song.

0:22

Podcasts should not have a theme song. Yes

0:24

they should, no they shouldn't, they sound good.

0:27

Yeah, but people are just going to skip

0:29

past it. You know

0:31

what? You're right. We

0:34

got this. Hal,

0:37

we can't have a holiday season without

0:39

a Queen Sleigh episode. And this year,

0:42

why not have two? Right? Why not?

0:44

Let's do it. This is exciting. How

0:47

are you, my friend? I'm doing

0:49

great. I'm in the holiday spirit. That's right,

0:51

I love it. I can see from the- We visit

0:53

the ghosts every night. Really? Are

0:55

they the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and

0:57

future, or just random ghosts? All I know

0:59

is that I'm terrified to sleep and I

1:02

can't find my keys. Hey, you

1:04

know what? There's a ghost out there driving

1:06

your car right now, my friend. Ghostie, you

1:08

can drive my car. Ridiculous.

1:11

Why don't we just jump right in? Yeah. These

1:14

are a bunch of mini topics submitted by you.

1:16

We did, of course, an episode with Paget, which

1:18

we put out around the Thanksgiving holidays, a special

1:20

early present for y'all. Now, you

1:22

gave so many great topics that we

1:24

couldn't possibly fit them all into one

1:26

episode. Here comes more of

1:28

them. That's right. This is your

1:30

fault, people of the world. All right.

1:33

Oh, you read this one because I have questions. Okay.

1:36

This was suggested by Bethany Wells. Thank

1:38

you, Bethany, for the question. Listen, we're

1:41

going to give some advice to the

1:43

big man right now of Christmas, Santa

1:45

Claus. He can take this advice or

1:47

leave it. I don't know why he

1:49

does it differently at different homes, but

1:52

I suppose that some kids like

1:54

to offer up their choices as to what

1:57

they would prefer Santa Claus to do. accommodates

2:00

accordingly. So should

2:03

Santa wrap Christmas

2:06

presents or leave them

2:08

unwrapped and out when he

2:10

arrives, drops off the presents

2:12

and leaves? What do you think? Wrap

2:14

them up? Yeah. I like wrap.

2:16

I mean, it's fun to have that moment

2:19

on Christmas morning of coming downstairs and seeing

2:21

the pile of goodies that Santa has left

2:23

for you. But why not have

2:25

an extra surprise? Right? Yeah.

2:27

If you're going to have one surprise. It's a surprise.

2:29

Tearing it open, you don't quite know what's in there

2:31

but you think you know because you know what you

2:34

asked for. This is the moment of truth where you

2:36

find out if you got it. And it's just like

2:38

fun to rip into wrapping paper. Even at my advanced

2:40

age, I still enjoy it. Yeah.

2:42

Sometimes he'll wrap them inside the

2:44

stocking too. It's a nice mix of

2:46

wrapped and unwrapped. That I don't do. You

2:48

don't like to see the... Santa's going to bring me some

2:50

stuff and put it in the... That's the stocking, it's the

2:52

wrapping for that because I can't see what it is. Then

2:54

I can like sort of reach in and feel

2:56

like, oh, what if this feels like peanut M&M's?

2:59

Oh, Santa knows me so well. But

3:01

if it's under the tree, wrap it

3:03

up. I'd like to

3:05

see Santa wrap things that are so...

3:07

It's so obvious what they are. Like

3:10

a bicycle... A Christmas... Yeah.

3:12

Guitar, bicycle, skis, a bowling ball

3:15

which is just wrapped around with

3:17

three holes poked in it. I

3:20

don't know why you have to poke the three

3:22

holes. That kind of just gives it away. But

3:24

yeah, for this one Bethany, I hope that when

3:26

Santa comes and drops off presents at your home

3:28

this holiday season, those presents are wrapped so you

3:30

get the double dose of surprise and joy. That's

3:33

right. Asked and answered.

3:36

Asked and answered. Chris Rooney asks,

3:38

wood fireplace, gas fireplace, or you'll

3:41

log on TV. Can I tell

3:43

you Mark, in our home, we

3:45

have a gas fireplace. Yeah. We

3:47

had the gas company out within the first six

3:50

months we were here. Like 4th of July, a bunch

3:52

of fireworks went off and it sets... You

3:54

know that like gas lines, there's a little trip box,

3:56

a little plastic cube with a marble in

3:58

it. Marble goes in the hole. if it gets

4:00

shaken and it shuts off the gas. So

4:03

they had to reset those and

4:05

the guy was checking stuff inside. He's like,

4:07

do you use the Spyroquist? He said, no, we never have. He

4:10

said, if you want us to turn it on, we'll come service

4:12

it for you. It's something we do. And

4:14

then you can use it whenever you want. We've never

4:16

one time used it. Never used it ever. Well,

4:20

you should use it. First of all, did you say

4:22

yes to that question? I said, thank you for letting

4:24

me know. Oh, you did. So they didn't actually set

4:26

it up for you. No, it would have to be

4:28

like a whole separate thing, but we have. Oh, I

4:30

see. That's the whole thing. We've not done that, but

4:32

I love a fireplace fireplace. Yeah. I

4:34

love, love, love a wood fireplace because

4:37

there's so much at the way it

4:39

smells is great. The, I feel like

4:41

the trade-off between a wood fireplace and

4:43

a gas fireplace is that the gas

4:45

is easier. You just turn it on

4:47

and your fire comes on and cleaner,

4:49

easier and cleaner. Yeah. Easy. Oh, I

4:51

meant easier for both you, the worker

4:53

of the fire, the fire stoker, and

4:55

also easier on the environment. Sure. Potentially.

4:58

Depends on how much gas you're using. If

5:00

you're just going bonfire style. Yeah. You're running

5:03

it just for three months straight during the

5:05

winter. That's bad. Don't do that. But

5:07

between the two fireplaces, yeah, there's something sort

5:09

of magical. Not sort of magical. There's

5:12

something really magical about a wood fireplace. It's what

5:14

I grew up on during the holidays. I know

5:16

I've told this before. We frequently would go up

5:18

to Gatlinburg and rent a cabin for a couple

5:20

of days up there. And, uh, when we would

5:23

go up, we would always have a fireplace going.

5:25

It was always one of the kids job to

5:27

keep the fire going, which

5:29

is, I guess, an odd job for a kid

5:31

to have. Hey kid, make sure you keep this

5:33

fire going the whole time. I don't care if

5:35

that log is too big to carry. Just roll

5:37

it in. Get your hand in there.

5:39

Get it up there. Put it in. No, no, no.

5:42

It's not going to hurt you. It's not going to

5:44

hurt you, you big baby. Take that fire stoker. Yeah.

5:46

That big pointy stick. You're sick. You can handle it.

5:48

Now poke around in this fire. What did the hypnotherapist

5:50

say when they heard that? What's that?

5:53

What did the hypnotherapist say when they heard you say that?

5:56

Uh, you know, I've been

5:59

going to a regular. therapist. I haven't been

6:01

going to a hypnotherapist, Hal. They

6:03

should. But maybe I should start going to a

6:05

hypnotherapist. The thing is, I tried it, but looking

6:08

at that watch I kept getting very sleepy and

6:10

then not remembering anything that I did for an

6:12

hour. Mmm, that's

6:14

right. Are you a fan of the

6:16

Yule Log on TV? Yeah,

6:19

they're fun. I don't have a fireplace.

6:22

So that I frequently will just turn

6:24

on and have that be my televised

6:26

fireplace. But you and I both have

6:28

televisions high up on the wall. Yeah. Like,

6:31

you have yours a nice height, mine's higher, a little higher on

6:33

the wall than yours. Yeah. It is weird

6:35

to have like a suspended fireplace above your head.

6:37

I'll tell you what I did. I took a

6:39

little TV, like a little monitor last year and

6:42

I had it on the floor in front of

6:44

there. So I had the TV, but also on

6:46

the floor I had a little TV monitor. I

6:48

only used it as a fireplace. Perfect.

6:51

Which is ridiculous. You've also no doubt seen,

6:54

and I hope that everyone out there has

6:56

seen the Darth Vader Yule Log. Yeah.

6:58

You're familiar with this? I've done it before.

7:00

Yeah. It's a great, it's like a four

7:03

hour loop. You can find it on YouTube.

7:05

It's just a loop of that shot of

7:07

Darth Vader in his funeral pyre. Yeah. Which

7:10

makes a wonderful Yule Log. But

7:12

the winner of this from Chris Rooney, Wood

7:15

fireplace, gas fireplace or Yule Log

7:17

on TV, without a doubt, Wood

7:20

fireplace. Asked and answered.

7:22

Thank you. Okay. Timothy Bailey asks,

7:24

what's up Timothy? Star Trek ornaments

7:26

or Star Wars ornaments? I mean,

7:28

this is just a, which of

7:30

these franchises are you a bigger

7:32

fan of? Right? I

7:34

mean, there are some really good animated

7:37

ornaments. Ken shared one with me

7:39

that I did not buy. That's

7:42

like $70. And it's the carbonite

7:44

freezing chamber on Bespin

7:46

from Empire Strikes Back. And

7:48

it's got everybody there and Han

7:50

is in, he's in his restraints. So

7:53

you press a button and it lights up and

7:55

it plays the entire scene. Chewy,

8:00

Chewy, you got to take care

8:02

of her now. I'll be alright. All

8:05

the way through, I love you, I know that too,

8:07

he's worth a lot, you know, are you sure he's

8:09

gonna survive? He's worth a lot to me. You'll be

8:11

compensated. And then, you know,

8:13

the music plays and you hear the sound,

8:16

all the sound effects and the

8:18

Han lowers into the middle of

8:20

the ornament and

8:23

then the lights change when you hear the switch of

8:26

the carbonite process and then up comes

8:30

on soloing carbonite and it

8:32

goes all the way to... Can

8:37

I ask you a question Hal? Unreal.

8:41

What does this thing remotely have to

8:43

do with Christmas? What

8:46

does the Darth Vader wrap on my tree have to do with Christmas?

8:50

I know but that's... Look, I

8:52

feel like that particular ornament is

8:54

asking a lot. That is

8:56

like, hey, do you like looking at the

8:58

tree? How about looking at one ornament on

9:01

the tree that has nothing to do with

9:03

Christmas for the next four minutes straight? Think

9:06

of the number of ornaments that you have, including

9:08

our work-to-sim-prov ornament that we all have. Yeah, the

9:11

best. That has nothing to do with Christmas, it's

9:13

just a reminder of work-to-sim-prov and we can hang

9:15

it on the tree, it's in the shape of

9:17

an ornament. I think there are better reminders of

9:19

that entire scene. I have a

9:21

Wall-E in Eve where they're dancing, where he's

9:24

got the fire extinguisher so he can fly

9:26

with her. I do love

9:28

that. Look, I love motion picture moments

9:30

depicted in ornament form. I

9:32

think it's great. Yes, it's the time to enjoy

9:35

the things that you enjoy. That

9:37

ornament sounds hilariously over the

9:39

top and wonderful and way

9:41

zero percent Christmasy but you're right,

9:44

who cares? I do have one

9:46

Star Trek ornament from growing up

9:48

that would lend me toward thinking

9:50

that Star Trek would be

9:52

the winner of this specifically because at

9:54

least their ornament pays lip service to

9:56

the season. And if this is of

9:59

course the famous shuttlecraft ornament i

10:01

believe it was a hallmark ornament

10:03

when you press the button. Boxes

10:06

shuttlecraft enterprise shuttlecraft

10:08

enterprise spot here

10:10

happy holidays live long and

10:12

prosper that actually let me know your voice match

10:15

i don't know i might have been a voice match. Either

10:17

way the idea that leonard neem way

10:20

would send a message back to the

10:22

enterprise just cuz he forgot to wish

10:24

them happy holidays when he got in

10:26

the shuttlecraft is like i

10:29

forgot something. Hold on

10:31

shuttlecraft enterprise quick quick

10:33

thing we forgot this yes yes everything

10:35

okay yes it's totally fine just wanted

10:37

to say happy holidays. I love

10:40

that i was like the sentiment behind that

10:42

scene i would argue that

10:44

scene is more my

10:46

favorite holiday scene than on solo

10:48

getting frozen in carbonite in its

10:50

entirety leonard neem way forgetting to

10:52

say happy holidays to those still

10:54

aboard the enterprise. Listen i

10:56

love that i think it's great i don't

10:59

does anything to be when i tell you

11:01

mark that my job was on the ground.

11:04

Watching that it exists and like all

11:06

i can think was one

11:08

day i will get this and it will hang on my

11:10

tree like i have to get this point in my life

11:12

i will find it i will get it hang

11:14

on my tree i have yet to see any

11:16

star trek ornament that can top that. That

11:19

is why i would say movie scene. Wait

11:23

wait it's look i

11:25

don't understand all the movie you don't know

11:27

you haven't seen it so

11:29

we're basing this look this is the

11:31

question that can be mainly asked to

11:33

star trek ornaments or star wars ornaments

11:36

not one specific ornaments or maybe we

11:38

need to step away from it being

11:40

that one specific ornament okay i with

11:42

my sentimental version of that one famous

11:44

scene where spot says happy holidays to

11:47

those aboard the enterprise and

11:49

you with. The elaborate

11:51

full scene version of

11:53

the carbonite in

11:55

general. Star trek

11:58

comes from a universe. where

12:00

christmas exist but star wars comes from

12:02

universe where life day exists and actually

12:04

they have the special they had a

12:07

number of special now they have the

12:09

lego special which are cute but nothing

12:11

be that original nineteen seventy nine special

12:13

that's just pure garbage i'm gonna give

12:15

it to star wars i

12:17

just think it's there's more fun to be had

12:19

there. Yeah yeah i'm

12:22

down for giving it to star wars and it might

12:24

be pushed over by the fact that can just send

12:26

us a picture of the death

12:28

of spark immortalized in ornament form when

12:30

he calls kirk is best friend or

12:32

his friend i am and always shall

12:34

be your friend from ratha khan i

12:36

also would accept. From

12:39

star truck three click on bastard to kill my

12:41

son and him like

12:43

a full scene of him and scottie

12:45

putting in the self destruct sequence in

12:47

the original enterprise with dark moments getting

12:50

turned into can't we just have like

12:52

the throne room scene just everybody wearing

12:54

medals and smiling silver and gold man.

12:57

I need it all the way through him

12:59

saying the christopher loyds character like. We

13:01

just need one better to go i'll give two

13:04

minutes to you when you're valiant crew and then

13:06

he uses that to destroy the enterprise and switch

13:08

them aboard except that christopher loyds went up in

13:10

the service of the fight on the other one

13:13

will be any scene from star trek five. I

13:16

think with five box like we're trying to

13:19

merge with chakari. How

13:22

i cannot wait to come over and

13:24

see the cornucopia of your trees gonna

13:26

look like a comic con your whole

13:28

tree is just gonna be a comic

13:31

con. Yeah which i'm here for

13:33

i'm a hundred percent here for it but

13:35

yeah i think star wars life day pushes

13:37

star wars over the edge and

13:40

the death of spark ornament pushes star trek

13:42

into the abyss. Yeah

13:45

i think it's star wars ornaments

13:48

and answered what is next. EJ

13:51

salads are brian the turkey or not and

13:53

if brian should be a wet brian or

13:55

dry brian i can answer this. I

13:58

believe we have the first of all absolutely prime. a

14:00

turkey. A hundred percent brine the turkey. And

14:02

wet brine the turkey specifically. It's so juicy. It's

14:04

so juicy. Don't do what I did and not

14:06

make the brine beforehand and put it in the

14:08

bag. What I did was fill a bag with

14:10

water, put a turkey in it and then add

14:13

salt and peppercorns. What like you're a

14:15

like you're like you're

14:17

a witch that's cooking Bugs Bunny. Like

14:20

you're cutting up a carrot individually right

14:22

into the thing, directly over the top.

14:24

And then at the end, one last

14:26

little pinch from witch Hazel of something.

14:29

Yeah, yeah. EJ, this is an easy

14:31

one. First of all, hello, EJ. Hi,

14:33

EJ. Brine the turkey and

14:35

wet brine that turkey. Oh, it's so good.

14:37

How did you do your turkey for Thanksgiving

14:39

this year? We did a ham. Oh,

14:41

you did a ham. Did a ham. Yeah,

14:43

I got bubble guts on Monday from eating leftovers.

14:46

Did you get bubble guts from leftovers? No, I

14:48

didn't. I didn't have many leftovers because I traveled.

14:50

I traveled. So I came back. We did

14:52

Trader Joe's and it's already cooked and you heat

14:54

it up but it tells you what temperature it's

14:57

supposed to be because they're like just

14:59

a 275 for like two hours. This

15:02

is for four and a half pound ham. It's the smallest one

15:04

they sold. It did not

15:06

come to temperature. It took forever to get it

15:08

to come to temperature. I'm sitting there checking the

15:11

temperature religiously and then this packet of glaze that

15:13

comes with it, I make the glaze

15:15

and I'm smelling it. I'm like,

15:17

it smells terrible. And then I'm like, Jennifer, come smell

15:19

this and tell me if you think we should put

15:22

this on the ham. And she's like, no. So we

15:24

threw that crap out. So what'd you do? Just

15:26

maple syrup or something on top? No, just had some ham. Hey,

15:29

man. Nothing wrong with that. Just have a little ham.

15:32

Ham. Well, if you're having

15:34

a ham, enjoy your ham. If you're having

15:36

a turkey, wet brine it. What's our next

15:38

topic? Ken Plume. All right. Dina,

15:41

I hope I'm saying that

15:43

right. Dina McIntosh says, best month

15:45

to begin to drink eggnog.

15:48

I'm not going to lie, Dina, I have

15:51

already started drinking eggnog.

15:54

And we went to the grocery store the other day.

15:56

The eggnog wall. They have an eggnog wall.

15:58

The whole eggnog wall. Eggnog wall was

16:01

almost empty. Oh, wow. We

16:03

had to get lactaid eggnog. Lactaid,

16:05

Hal. That's,

16:07

we're only lactaid in this house. Oh,

16:09

that's fair. I like the almond milk eggnog.

16:11

We are currently, by the way, we are

16:14

currently in November. Recording this just

16:16

barely. It is the end of November.

16:19

I think I got my first eggnog

16:21

of the season. It might've been October.

16:23

Really? Yeah. I like eggnog a lot.

16:26

I got a carton of just a quart

16:28

carton of the Southern Comfort brand eggnog, no

16:30

booze in it. Just Southern Comfort

16:32

makes an eggnog because Southern Comfort goes well

16:34

with eggnog. It makes sense much

16:36

in the same way that Jose Cuervo makes a

16:38

margarita mix. That you just add

16:40

Cuervo. This is eggnog, just add SoCo,

16:43

but I like it by itself. You

16:45

know where eggnog is great? Pancakes. Oh

16:48

yeah. Use that instead of milk and

16:50

pancakes. Highly recommend. What about French toast? French

16:52

toast would be great for French toast. What

16:54

about a waffle? Sure. What

16:57

about scrambled eggs? Maybe not scrambled eggs. What

16:59

about crispy wheat and raisins? Crispy

17:01

wheat and raisins. Oh, wasn't that it? That

17:03

was a cereal that they used to have

17:05

in the eighties and they had a commercial. It

17:08

was like crispy wheat and

17:10

raisins. Yeah. That's what my grandma said. I

17:12

vaguely remember that. Oh my God. Come

17:14

on, mom. You can't spring for the raisin

17:16

brand. There's the sugar on it. I actually

17:19

like crispy, crispy wheat raisins. This is good.

17:21

I don't know why it went away. Probably

17:23

because it wasn't raisin bran. Yeah. It was

17:25

just a thing that was pretending to be

17:27

raisin bran. That's why it went away. Like

17:29

nice try. I know you're not raisin bran.

17:31

You can't fool me, crispy wheat and raisins.

17:33

Now, if you wanted to get me something

17:35

called crispy raisins, now I'm interested. I have

17:38

lots of questions, but I'm interested. What is

17:40

a crispy raisin? How do you crisp a

17:42

raisin up? Is it one of those singing

17:44

raisins that sang I heard it through the grapevine?

17:47

Is that what happened to them? That's what happened

17:49

to them. They all got turned into crispy raisins.

17:51

Hey, after this gig, I'm going to get crisped

17:54

up, but I just want to say it was

17:56

really fun gigging with y'all. Oh, yeah. I heard

17:58

the almond grape. No, no. Noooooo!

18:02

Ahhhhhh! I think the

18:04

best month to begin to drink eggnog is

18:06

November. Do it the day that Thanksgiving ends.

18:08

You're okay from there. You maximize

18:10

your eggnog drinking time. What do you think, Hal?

18:13

Seconded. I don't drink eggnog. I

18:15

was going to go with whatever you said. Surprise! Haha!

18:19

I like eggnog. Almond milk eggnog, a little bit lighter. Yeah.

18:22

Delightful. Alright. What

18:25

is next, Ken Plume? Next. Alright, this

18:27

is the last question. Before the break,

18:29

Chris Rooney asked, best toy from the

18:31

island of misfit toys. Isn't there

18:34

a weird Jack in the Box? Here's

18:36

the thing. I think there's definitely the

18:38

funniest one who has the job as

18:40

herald of the island. And

18:42

that is Charlie in the

18:44

Box. Charlie in the Box. He is

18:46

a Jack in the Box who is

18:48

named Charlie and that's what got him

18:50

sent to the island of misfit toys.

18:53

Maybe instead of going to the island

18:55

of misfit toys, he could have just

18:57

gone to the courthouse and changed his

19:00

name to Jack. Then

19:03

he would be just like all the other

19:05

Jacks in the Box. Oh.

19:07

But no, he was like, well, my

19:09

name's Charlie. There's literally nothing to do

19:11

to change your name or just go

19:13

by Jack. My name is Charlie,

19:16

but my friends call me Jack because I'm

19:18

in a box. So I get why they

19:20

call me that. It's

19:22

not difficult, but I want to bring up

19:25

what toys there are on that list. So

19:28

there are 14 toys

19:30

on the island of misfit toys. Hal,

19:32

tell me which one of these stands

19:34

out. One is a scooter. Nothing

19:37

weird about that. Airplane. Nothing out of

19:39

the ordinary. The dolly for Sue, who

19:41

is capable of saying, how do you

19:43

do? I don't know

19:45

what makes her a misfit because she looks

19:48

perfectly normal on the outside. But I think

19:50

that that might be the case

19:52

for a lot of misfits. There's a cowboy. Oh,

19:54

man. This is also a pretty good one. A

19:57

cowboy who rides an ostrich. The

19:59

cowboy who rides. an ostrich is pretty

20:01

funny. An elephant with spots, that's nothing.

20:04

No, he's wearing a cowboy hat. Looks like

20:06

a bowler to me. The train with square

20:08

wheels. That seems like you're a misfit, but

20:10

you're also you physically cannot function and do

20:13

your job. Like Charlie in the Box can

20:15

do his job. There's a Matryoshka

20:17

doll with a mouse inside it. A blue bear

20:19

with feathers, which actually sounds kind of cool. A

20:22

bird that swims instead of flying, which

20:25

seems awesome. Also sounds cool. I

20:28

would say that my vote either goes to Charlie

20:30

in the Box or the

20:32

cowboy who rides an ostrich. I think Charlie in

20:34

the Box because his greatest defense is having the

20:36

wrong name. That is

20:38

an easy fix, Charlie in the Box. That

20:41

is some bottom of the barrel stuff right

20:43

there. There you go.

20:45

Charlie in the Box asked and answered.

20:47

Let's take a quick break. You

20:50

and I had the same idea that Ken texted

20:52

us. Why don't we take a quick

20:54

break and when we come

20:56

back, we will continue to clean out

20:59

this sleigh. How this sleigh is a

21:01

mess. I'll get the hose. We'll

21:03

be right back. Hello,

21:06

sleepyheads. Sleeping with

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Celebrities is your podcast pillow pal.

21:12

We talk to remarkable people about

21:14

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with Celebrities, hosted by me, John

21:32

Moe, on maximumfun.org

21:35

or wherever you get your podcasts. Night,

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night. Somewhere

21:42

in an alternate universe where

21:44

Hollywood is smarter. And

21:47

the Emmy nominees for Outstanding

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Marriott Ruppel Dear

21:57

America, We've Seen You Naked and

22:01

Allah in the family. All

22:25

right, we are back. What is

22:27

our next topic? Oh, this is

22:29

from Kate McManus. Hello, researcher

22:31

Kate McManus. Interesting. To

22:34

re-gift or not to re-gift?

22:36

Ooh, it depends on who gave it

22:38

to you. Yeah, I

22:40

think that's true. I think re-gifting. Yeah,

22:45

it's, there's a certain

22:47

cutoff point of relationship.

22:50

You know what I mean? And

22:52

if they're beyond that point

22:55

in relationship, keep the gift. If they're

22:57

before that point, I think it's okay

22:59

to re-gift as long as the person

23:01

you are re-gifting to is in no

23:03

way associated with the other person, as

23:05

long as the Venn diagrams don't overlap.

23:08

You know, you also

23:10

shouldn't hold on to something you're not going to

23:12

use just because you feel bad. I

23:14

think it's worth some open communication, but also you

23:16

could donate it. Donate, yeah.

23:19

Hang on to it for a little while. It's not that big, like

23:21

hold on to it for a little while and then you can get

23:23

rid of it. Yeah. I

23:25

think re-gifting is risky,

23:28

unless you're giving it to someone in a completely

23:30

different social circle. Yeah, that's the thing. If it

23:32

is an obligatory office secret

23:34

Santa gift and then a

23:37

white elephant party from a totally different

23:39

group of people that you know peripherally.

23:42

Yeah, you can give that away. You know what I mean?

23:44

That's a, if it's an

23:46

obligatory gift, I think a re-gifting is fine.

23:48

If it is meant to be a thoughtful

23:50

gift, then maybe don't. To

23:53

err on the safe side. That said,

23:56

we also don't know the financial situation

23:58

of everyone involved in this. whole process.

24:00

If re-gifting is going to save

24:02

critical bucks at the holiday season

24:05

for you, then yeah, it's a

24:07

time when people wind up spending a lot more money than

24:09

they want to maybe figure out a

24:11

way to make it a personal thing. And, you

24:13

know, if I receive a gift that I know

24:16

you are really going to love, but

24:18

I have no real need for, I

24:20

guess my thought becomes it's okay as

24:23

long as there is some thoughtfulness

24:25

to it. There's thoughtfulness as to

24:27

whether or not to re-gift. There's

24:29

thoughtfulness to how to re-gift. And

24:32

there's thoughtfulness about to whom the gifts

24:34

are going. But generally

24:37

speaking... Don't do it. Generally

24:39

speaking, I say, yeah, maybe donating is

24:41

better if it's not something that you're...

24:44

That's right. Don't re-gift. Don't

24:46

re-gift. Ask and answer.

24:48

Ask and answer. Or answer.

24:50

And also answer. All right.

24:52

Another person of the world,

24:54

spectacular Leslie Trautman asks, stay

24:57

up late or get up early? Is this just

24:59

in general or is this like on Christmas Eve?

25:02

I wish I could... It

25:04

is a clean slate. This is Christmas Eve. I wish by

25:07

pray that I could wake

25:09

up late, stay up

25:11

late. I don't have that capacity anymore. I get

25:14

tired at 8 p.m. and then

25:16

wake up at 5 a.m. and

25:18

I can't stop it. I'm caught in a cycle,

25:20

Mark, that I cannot stop. I don't need to

25:22

get up at 5 a.m. There's no need. I

25:24

could comfortably wake up at 8 a.m. because I

25:26

work at home and be at work at 8.30, which

25:29

is my preferred time to start work for the day. But

25:32

I don't know how. I

25:35

don't know what to do and I'm exhausted, man.

25:37

I'm exhausted getting even eight or nine hours of

25:40

sleep. I can't stay up. Well,

25:44

listen, I've got things that'll help. Oh,

25:47

do you? Yeah. I had a monster

25:49

energy drink just a couple hours ago.

25:52

Oh, too much touring.

25:57

Yeah, this is tough because I love

25:59

Christmas. Eve and I

26:01

love Christmas morning. But

26:03

I don't want to rush through Christmas Eve because I

26:06

love Christmas morning and I want to get to it

26:08

faster. I think a lot of it depends on whether

26:10

there are kids involved and you have kids in the

26:13

house. If there are kids involved, go

26:15

to bed early on Christmas Eve because they're going

26:17

to wake up crazy early on Christmas Day and

26:20

you want to have gotten a little sleep before that. I

26:23

love the anticipation of Christmas morning. Here's the

26:25

thing. I don't know how this is than

26:27

either or because for me

26:29

frequently I stay up late on Christmas

26:31

Eve watching a movie, having eggnog and

26:33

also I get up early on Christmas

26:35

morning. So the answer is yes. So

26:38

the answer to stay up late or get up

26:40

early is yes. Yes.

26:43

Ask an answer. Yeah. I

26:46

don't think you need that. It's Christmas. You're going

26:48

to nap in the afternoon anyway. You don't

26:50

need your full eight hours. Yeah. And

26:53

then I say Salazar's back asking, is

26:55

apple cider better warm or cold, spiced

26:57

or not spiced? I am as

26:59

you know, Mark, a world famous lover of the

27:01

apple juice. Love it. Love it so

27:03

much. Not a fan of the apple

27:05

cider. A little, a little, it tastes like

27:07

something's happened to the apple juice. But I

27:10

do love getting a bottle of

27:13

apple cider off the shelf at TJ's. Get

27:16

that, bring it home. And then I put

27:18

it in a pot with a bag of mulling

27:20

spices. And then TJ gets home

27:22

and is like where, I'm assuming you're talking about

27:24

TJ Fowler from my middle school. TJ gets home

27:26

and is like, hey, I had this bottle of

27:29

apple cider. What's happening? And

27:31

then I was like, it's my apple cider now. And then

27:33

I punch him in the throat. Wow. I

27:36

love the smell of it. It's just, there's

27:38

something very like just fall about it. Not

27:40

even holidays for me, but like, hey, it's

27:42

September, October. It's chilly somewhere, a

27:44

hundred degrees where I live, but it's chilly

27:46

somewhere. And it

27:48

just makes it feel, I think,

27:50

warm and spiced. That would be

27:52

me. Yeah. I look, I love

27:54

chilled apple cider. I've had apple

27:56

cider. We went to a pumpkin

27:58

apple picking harvest thing. in

28:00

Fairfax, Virginia and they had cold apple cider

28:02

there straight out of the tap and it

28:04

was great. That said, I

28:08

can get a bottle of apple

28:10

cider cold at the grocery store.

28:12

There's something that makes it special

28:14

when it's spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg,

28:16

and warmed up. Then it

28:18

becomes a communal thing. It becomes an

28:20

event. It becomes, or just for yourself,

28:22

a moment to sit down and have

28:24

something special. I think that's what makes

28:26

it special and I think the holiday season is special

28:28

and that's why I'm with you on that. I think

28:30

warm and spiced is the best way to have your

28:32

apple cider. Asks and answered. What

28:34

did you say, Hal? Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you

28:37

off. I said, yes, queen. Oh. What's

28:39

next? All right. Jason Gottsall.

28:42

Gottsall? What's up, Jason? Asks,

28:45

fruit pie, best served

28:47

warm or cold. Is a

28:49

pumpkin a fruit? Yeah, you

28:51

serve cold, you know, instead of that warm. Right?

28:55

I mean, I've had it warm because we had

28:57

it homemade. So it was like straight out

28:59

of the... Yeah, has it cooled off? I

29:01

mean, there's something kind of... It's interesting. This

29:04

doesn't necessarily... I don't necessarily have a

29:06

lot of fruit pies during

29:08

the holidays. You know what I mean? I

29:11

do. Apple pie at the beginning of

29:13

the fall, but the holidays to me and where

29:15

I grew up, it was more about pumpkin pie

29:17

and for us specifically, pecan pie. Pecan

29:19

pie was the big, big deal for us.

29:22

Always warm for us, pecan pie. If you're

29:24

having pie warm, any pie, you're not putting

29:26

ice cream on it, you're wasting my time,

29:29

Mark's time, everybody's listening

29:31

time, most importantly, your time. And if you

29:33

have trouble with dairy, there are options. Yeah.

29:37

So I want to hear it. That said, I

29:39

feel like by and large at like a

29:41

Thanksgiving dinner around the holidays tends to

29:43

be cold. Yeah. Not

29:45

a hot pie that we're having generally. I will defer

29:47

more to you on this one because I'm not... Again,

29:49

I don't have a ton of fruit pie around the

29:51

holidays. I am warm pecan

29:53

pie all the way. We

29:55

did a pumpkin pie and a cherry pie. And...

30:00

I do love Cherry Pie. Yeah. You

30:02

to let it cool or of you will hurt

30:04

yourself and I take it for me. This

30:07

was injured himself. With that been going

30:09

to wait. Will. Also you

30:12

got it for a cherry pie. You gotta

30:14

wait so that for it's structural stability as

30:16

well. that's right. Yeah I mean if you've

30:18

made a cherry pie and you take a

30:20

ride my billie of and you're like oh

30:22

I'm going to eat as above I do.

30:24

How many this right now? Well guess what

30:26

you're about to have a fruit soup with

30:28

cinnamon dust. The. Or if it's a

30:30

good. If it's a good

30:32

fruit pie, I think cold. And

30:35

I'm and assume you're not serious of garbage as I

30:37

believe in you. Know. Of cold asked

30:40

and answered. Food and boxing aren't yeah?

30:42

Warm your apple cider? Cold pie? You

30:44

know when cold pie is really good.

30:47

Ah, For. accessed. Oh.

30:49

Yeah, there's a Christmas season I'm off from

30:51

school for a week. I'm a have a

30:53

slice of cherry pie for breakfast today. That.

30:56

If I enjoy all, I love

30:58

this one. Is a big

31:00

one. Everyone gets The Popcorn Factory

31:02

try Flavored thin yeah now Mccord.

31:05

It has center popcorn and it

31:07

as butter popcorn. Emily's asking

31:09

what is the best of the three popcorn tin flavors?

31:11

I know the one I would pick. What would you.

31:14

Okay of the three

31:16

Popcorn Tim flavors. Yeah

31:19

as. A person who lived in Chicago

31:21

for college. My favorite thing to do is

31:23

to mix the caramel and the cheddar cheese

31:25

popcorn, right? Yeah, the butter popcorn nobody likes.

31:28

Not nuggets. I guarantee you not going to

31:30

be the butter popcorn. That's butter. popcorn is

31:32

fine, but my point is better when it's

31:34

just been popped. Yeah, this is a two

31:37

way race of the three popcorn ten flavors.

31:39

Yeah. I've a special affinity for camel corn

31:41

because I hadn't a lot as a kid. And

31:44

like the Ocean City Boardwalk Atlantic City Boardwalk you

31:46

yeah Johnson's caramel corn thought they were. you get

31:48

oh interesting I don't think of of I'm have

31:50

a saw it recently made caramel corn. If we're

31:52

ever done the Jersey Shore together I will. Alumni

31:55

snacking tour. Who. the ocean

31:57

city boardwalk deal worth it i don't know

31:59

the church Part of me, the cheddar popcorn

32:01

is great. It's so good. It's

32:03

so good. And also, there's, I keep

32:06

coming back to the seasonality

32:09

of it. You know what I mean? Like,

32:12

I don't want it to be just, this

32:14

question Emily asked, best of the three popcorn

32:17

tin flavors. But I'm wondering

32:19

if we need to add into that and

32:21

include it within our best, the most

32:24

holiday centric of the

32:26

three, because I can get great caramel

32:28

corn year round. I don't see the

32:30

cheddar popcorn as often year round. You

32:32

know what I mean? Like, I'm not

32:34

going to, a cracker Jack's in the

32:37

summertime, the caramel popcorn is great with

32:39

baseball, you know? So there's lots

32:41

of different times of year that that

32:43

is out there. But I think that the

32:45

cheddar popcorn specifically makes me think of the

32:47

holiday. Now, does that necessarily make it the

32:49

best one? No. And

32:52

do you have that added edge of being

32:54

the Christmase-iest of them? Yeah, I'll go with

32:56

that. I'll go with the cheddar popcorn. Now

32:58

have you ever, not to cut

33:00

off the asked and answered of this, have

33:02

you ever gone full rogue and

33:04

just opened up that popcorn

33:06

tin and pulled that little

33:08

triceporation cardboard out? No,

33:12

but I mean, like I would, I just don't

33:14

want the butter popcorn. Yeah,

33:17

get out of your butter popcorn. In between, I would

33:19

pull that in a second, no problem. Yeah, in a

33:21

world where both of them, this is tough though, I'm

33:23

not going to throw another wrench in it. I

33:25

think that the, I love the cheddar popcorn and

33:27

it does make me think more of the holidays.

33:29

Yeah. But if my hand

33:31

is just reaching in, just purely just

33:34

reaching in for the snack, I

33:37

think maybe six out of 10 times

33:39

I'd reach for the caramel corn. Well,

33:42

then I think that's our answer. Ah,

33:44

it's caramel corn. It's not as Christmassy as the cheddar one.

33:47

That's an answer. Wait, wait, wait, hold on. I did. I

33:50

haven't answered both the cheddar and the caramel. It's a clean slate.

33:52

I didn't say I have to answer it on cheddar, did I?

33:55

No, you were about to and then I kept

33:57

going. Haha, that's because you wanted it to happen

33:59

on... Caramel Corn and it has. You're

34:01

welcome. Yeah, I think it's the caramel.

34:03

Also because caramel is a flavor of the holidays. There

34:07

you go. All right. One more.

34:09

Okay, this is our final question from

34:13

Timothy Bailey. And the final question is, oh, this

34:15

is gonna be a doozy. Ken is really, uh,

34:17

oh, get out of here. This feels like a

34:19

joke. The Holly

34:21

or the Ivy? The Holly

34:24

or the Ivy. Okay.

34:26

Uh, first of all, the Ivy league is

34:29

a scam. It should be banned. All of

34:31

that. What is this? The Ivy

34:33

league schools are all one big scam.

34:35

They all have endowments that are bigger

34:37

than the budget of most nations, but

34:39

they won't allow any more people in

34:41

because the scarcity lets them stay expensive.

34:44

They could educate so many more people

34:46

with the endowments that they have, but

34:48

they really only want to save their

34:50

money so that they can outlast this

34:52

government if our government should ever fall.

34:54

And Holly is those delightful berries and

34:57

little sprig that you put in your

34:59

hat. This one's a no brainer. It's

35:01

the Holly. Did you

35:03

know that if you go early acceptance to

35:05

any Ivy league school and they offer it

35:07

to you, you have to take it. You

35:10

cannot. Of course you do. And if you turn it down,

35:12

if you turn it down and you've applied to any other

35:14

Ivy league schools, they will not accept you. It's

35:17

an agreement amongst those schools. This is true. Yeah.

35:20

And also the whole legacy thing. Get

35:22

rid of the legacy thing. The legacy

35:24

thing is stupid and it's a dumb

35:26

way to gatekeep middle-class people out of

35:29

your school. We're not decking the halls

35:31

with boughs of Ivy. Yeah. Yeah. The

35:33

Ivy is secondary. The Ivy is ancillary

35:35

and only exists for purposes of this

35:37

song to have a second thing to

35:39

talk about. So it's not just the

35:41

Holly, just the Holly when it was

35:43

just full grown. Yeah. And

35:46

listen, of all the trees that are in

35:48

the wood, the Holly bears the crown. Not

35:50

the Ivy, the Holly. There

35:53

you go. There it is. Asked and

35:55

answered. It's the Holly. Take that Ivy. Sorry

35:57

for going on another Ivy league school. They're

36:00

at the end. You're good. That took a

36:02

turn that I did not expect. Let's get one more. I

36:04

want one more. I

36:07

want a palate cleanser after that. One

36:09

more, a bonus one. With much love to

36:11

Timothy Bailey. Yeah, we're going to end it

36:13

on another one. It's coming. I

36:16

see the ticker tape. Chris Rooney, is Rudolph a

36:18

mutant? In like

36:20

the X-Men sense? I mean,

36:22

this is a genetic mutation that would cause

36:24

his nose to glow. Sure. Is

36:26

he a mutant in the sense? No, he's not a mutant. I'm

36:28

curious why, because most mutants, their powers

36:31

don't manifest until they reach puberty. He has a

36:33

glowing nose right away, long before he reaches any

36:35

kind of maturity. Asked and answered. Asked

36:38

and answered. Genetically a mutant, X-Men,

36:40

not a mutant. Unless the North Poles

36:42

are like Krakow or Krakow. That's what

36:45

it is, Krakow. That's the island. It's

36:47

like the mutant island in X-Men. Right? Isn't

36:49

that right, Kevin? Isn't that Krakow? I

36:52

don't know. Now I'm thinking of Krakow, and I'm

36:54

thinking of, listen, Rudolph is only a mutant if

36:56

he's Polish. This is happening right

36:58

now. Yeah. I've

37:00

lost this thread. All right. Well,

37:02

Hal, as always, this has been a delight. And

37:06

Ken, as always, this has been a delight.

37:08

Yes. These are always really

37:11

fun. I love doing Clean Slay episodes. I

37:13

wish we could do Clean Slay episodes all

37:15

year. Maybe that's what

37:17

Santa will put in my stocking unwrapped

37:19

because it's in the stocking. The

37:22

stocking is the wrapping. Hal,

37:25

you sound just like me. Yeah. Did

37:28

you think it was you talking for a second? You're like, oh, I got a weird echo. Yeah.

37:31

Like you're listening to a mirror. These

37:35

topics are closed, but there are many

37:37

more to discuss. So please reach out

37:39

to us via email at [email protected] or

37:42

you can join our Facebook group, the

37:44

greatest community on all the internet, facebook.com/group

37:46

slash wegotthispodcast. It's where all the suggestions

37:48

for this came from. That's where they

37:51

came from. Thank you

37:53

to producer Ken Plume. You can

37:55

support him at patreon.com/Ken Plume and just in

37:57

time for the holidays. Thank you also to.

38:00

for Kate McManus, graphic designer Uri Kelman,

38:02

and my PIC, our QA

38:04

engineer, Jen Alba. And thanks,

38:07

of course, to our musicians Jonathan

38:09

Dinerstein and Mike Furman for our

38:11

score and theme song, respectively. And

38:13

thanks to you, the people of the world, who this

38:15

is now our sixth holiday

38:18

season with? Seventh holiday season with?

38:21

Eighth. Eighth holiday season

38:23

with? Wow. This has become a holiday

38:25

tradition for us, and there's nothing I

38:27

love more than creating new holiday traditions

38:29

with my dear, dear friends and all

38:31

of the people of the world out

38:33

there who listen and give us an

38:35

opportunity to do this week after week.

38:37

So to all of you, I say

38:39

thank you, thank you, thank

38:42

you. For Howl Lublin, I'm Mark Gagliardi. For

38:44

Mark Gagliardi, I'm Hal Lublin. And don't worry,

38:46

everybody. We got this. We

38:49

got this. Maximum

38:51

Fun, a worker owned

38:53

network of artists owned shows

38:55

supported directly by you.

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