0:00

It's frustrating if you keep trying

0:02

to stop drinking, but you're not

0:04

succeeding. We've discussed the brain changes

0:07

that make it more difficult in

0:09

a few recent episodes, but there

0:11

are other factors that determine whether

0:13

someone get sober or not. To

0:16

in this episode will discuss why

0:18

there are differences in how people

0:20

handle the same life circumstances and

0:23

dressers and what determines whether you

0:25

will be resilient in the face

0:27

of stress and her job or

0:30

not. You'll also learn about epigenetic

0:32

changes that make it more difficult

0:34

to be resilient and how your

0:37

family, friends, and support system plays

0:39

a role in. Before we do

0:41

again, I'd like to thank my

0:43

sponsors who made this episode possible.

0:47

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0:49

amazing sleep and less anxiety. But

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know, my husband had an unexpected

2:25

stressor and you know what he

2:27

did. He decided to go on

2:30

a run. It was a simple

2:32

choice, but running help him cope

2:34

with this dress instead of trying

2:36

to stuff it and ignore it

2:39

or drone it was alcohol, food,

2:41

or drugs. We get confused and

2:43

we think that because we've had

2:45

a lot of bad things happen

2:47

to us, that it makes us

2:50

resilient. We call ourselves strong, but

2:52

resilience is. About how you handle

2:54

the things that happen to you,

2:56

not just having a bunch of

2:58

things happened to you and and

3:00

same as as someone who used

3:02

to call myself strong all the

3:04

time, I had a lot of

3:06

bad things happen to me and

3:08

my life, but I didn't deal

3:10

with any of them until I

3:12

got sober. Before that, I'd use

3:14

self destructive coping mechanisms to attempt

3:16

to soothe myself. Really is I

3:18

just made the problem worse. Resilience

3:20

is the dealing with it is

3:22

not. Just having a lot of bad

3:24

things. So more specifically, Resilience

3:27

is defined as the ability

3:29

to bend but not break,

3:32

to bounce back and to

3:34

adapt well in the face

3:37

of adversity, trauma, tragedy, or

3:39

significant source of stress drinking,

3:41

or but off whenever we

3:44

have a problem. Is. Not

3:46

resilience, I've been sober a

3:49

long enough to have bad things

3:51

happen to me in my sobriety,

3:53

and I've even had a few

3:55

similar things happen to me while

3:57

I was drinking and in sobriety.

4:00

Second, really compare my response and

4:02

the outcome. Obviously the way that

4:04

I handle it is different. Now

4:06

what would I think? The most

4:08

important differences is how I respond

4:11

when the thing happens. Like

4:13

my immediate response, I don't

4:15

flip out start feeling sorry

4:17

for my. Sales. Or become

4:19

the intense. I stay calm, problem

4:21

solve, and immediately start thinking about

4:24

the future and how I'm gonna

4:26

handle this. What keeps coming up

4:28

for me and my research on

4:30

resilience is the role of social

4:33

support. Social support can help us

4:35

feel like we're loved, respected and

4:37

cared for by others and that

4:39

people can give us advice or

4:42

just listen to his van. A

4:44

two thousand and eleven study on

4:46

deployed veterans looked at three groups.

4:48

A control group with low

4:51

combat exposure and low Ptsd

4:53

symptoms of Ptsd Group with

4:56

high current lunatics. In

4:58

Hi Pete Beef in a

5:01

resilient. Group who is high

5:03

combat exposure and. Ptsd

5:05

symptoms be resilient, group was

5:08

more likely to be in

5:10

a relationship, had greater perceptions.

5:12

Of purpose and control more

5:15

family support. And felt. Like

5:17

their family understood them were there

5:19

is any group. Also had last

5:22

psycho social issues with your things

5:24

like depression, anxiety so mental health

5:26

conditions can make us less resilient

5:29

which is out of our control.

5:31

But all that means as we

5:34

have to work a little bit

5:36

harder at shifting our perspective and

5:38

would look if you have Ptsd.

5:41

I am not saying that it

5:43

is because Usac I have also

5:46

struggled with. Ptsd. And

5:48

I don't think it's because I

5:50

suck side as want that to

5:52

be Claire. So this is an

5:55

example of functional support or we

5:57

feel like our support system understands.

6:00

And this is more strongly related

6:02

to resilience than the amount of

6:04

people in your support system or

6:06

how many tasks they can do

6:08

for you or meals they can

6:10

cook for you. Being understood is

6:12

important and this was always my

6:15

barrier to reaching out to others.

6:17

I make an assessment that they

6:19

will not understand. They might be

6:21

reactive, they might make it all

6:23

about themselves for it just would

6:25

be able to be there for

6:27

me in the way that I

6:29

mean these feelings. Make me isolated,

6:31

keep things to myself which

6:33

makes us less resilient. And

6:35

this is why getting support

6:37

in sobriety is so good.

6:39

Because you find a support

6:41

system where you truly feel

6:43

understood. It's a bunch of

6:45

people that think and behave

6:48

the exact same way you

6:50

do. Resilience begins in childhood

6:52

so again out of our

6:54

control by a comes from

6:56

an environment and care giving

6:58

conditions that are loving, emotionally,

7:00

responsible, Consistent and

7:02

reliable. These. Environments also

7:05

hope. Is is he gave it.

7:07

Feel free to read. You need

7:09

a new she's? She's She's. Cute.

7:15

Huge Mean. Maintain friendships

7:17

and intimate. Relationships and develop

7:19

a real estate and positive

7:21

sense of self efficacy and

7:23

all of those skills are

7:25

associated with resilience. One, the

7:28

home environment is highly stressful

7:30

and chaotic. There are a

7:32

few consequences of this for

7:34

both animals and humans. We

7:36

become more at risk for

7:38

developing an exaggerated sympathetic nervous

7:40

system and exaggerated H P

7:43

A access which if you

7:45

listen to episode to all

7:47

on that. Control stress

7:49

and exaggerated emotional and

7:52

behavioral responses to stressors.

7:54

So these exaggerated responses

7:56

can make us feel

7:59

overwhelmed. In In we need

8:01

something external like alcohol to a camp

8:03

to read. Doing it ourselves. Many

8:06

personality features are her radical but

8:08

your environment can impact how your

8:10

personality is expressed. I told my

8:12

boy and story another podcast before

8:14

and I'll less two of them

8:17

and the show nose for you

8:19

to check out if you don't.

8:21

Know it but something that I

8:23

always say his ears. Of being

8:26

bullied made me of weird. It

8:28

completely change my personality from a

8:30

sweet l gone friendly little girl.

8:33

To someone in mistrusting

8:35

who always expect the

8:37

worst inferred ship. In

8:39

fact away their genes are

8:41

expressed in a process called

8:44

epigenetics. There's some hundred and

8:46

said or social environment can

8:48

influence or stress response system

8:50

at the genetic level and

8:52

that these changes can be

8:54

a long lasting. This is

8:57

something I learned and my

8:59

crisis intervention training to. We

9:01

need caregivers who are reliable

9:03

and consistent or I can

9:05

cause severe issues for us.

9:07

the reliability and consistency. Of

9:10

your support system beyond your caregivers

9:12

also has an impact. So I

9:14

learn that people and let me

9:16

down that they can be trusted.

9:18

They would eventually leave and not

9:20

likely anymore and issues' reinforce. For

9:23

years and years now it's a

9:25

core belief that I have to

9:27

fight. I can't say how it

9:29

impacted my genetics, but I know

9:31

that stresses the reason I began

9:34

drinking. There have been a lot

9:36

of animal studies on Abby genetic.

9:38

some resilience, Repeatedly exposing least

9:40

two more aggressive my

9:42

for ten days straight

9:45

results. In the stress mice avoiding

9:47

other mice, showing less interest in

9:49

things they normally enjoy and even

9:51

becoming obese. They seem to have

9:54

a pleasure and eating but then

9:56

they also eat more. Some mice

9:58

become less at of. No

10:01

other symptoms and when researchers take

10:03

a look at their brains, they

10:06

can see differences on the reward

10:08

recognition, which is a factor in

10:10

developing an addiction. Researchers can also

10:13

make a my some more resilient

10:15

by blocking or inducing certain epigenetic

10:18

changes. Some of these changes last

10:20

for their entire lifespan. Rap baby

10:22

is that are rarely groomed by

10:25

their mothers, are less adventurous, and

10:27

they put up less of a

10:29

fight. In unpleasant situation is

10:32

so this would be like

10:34

learned helplessness. And when they have

10:36

their own babies are less nurturing. Towards

10:38

their babies, the genes that

10:41

these animal studies have identified

10:43

also show up in humans.

10:46

For example, people that commit

10:48

suicide who experienced childhood trauma

10:51

have a be genetic modification.

10:53

Some people who died from

10:56

suicide with a normal childhood

10:58

don't have social support from

11:01

learn healthy behaviors feel understood.

11:03

Evaluate stressful events as less

11:05

threatening. Enhancer sense of

11:08

self control. Increase self

11:10

esteem in use. Healthy

11:12

coping skills. rejection and loneliness

11:14

activate many of the same

11:17

systems in the brain and

11:19

physical threats and fear Dale

11:21

people that have low social

11:24

support who experienced trauma are

11:26

more likely to develop Ptsd

11:28

and matter analysis studies have

11:30

found this to be a

11:33

consistent risk factor for the

11:35

development of Ptsd and positive

11:37

social support activates the parasympathetic

11:40

nervous system which inhibits. The

11:42

fear based systems from activating say

11:44

explain the nervous system in more

11:46

detail on Episode One Forty Nine

11:48

and I'll reference out in the

11:50

show notes if you forget, but

11:52

the parasympathetic nervous system helps us

11:55

day com. There's a lotta evidence

11:57

that one of the most effective

11:59

ways to. Butcher you become more

12:01

resilient is to focus on the

12:03

well being and parenting skills of

12:05

the pair. And to this comes.

12:07

From the parents learning how to understand

12:10

and meet their own needs to not

12:12

just meet the needs of their children

12:14

as adults, we can increase our resilience

12:16

by taking a look at our support

12:18

system. I know it feels like you

12:21

have to isolate and no one will

12:23

ever understand why you don't always have

12:25

to feel like that. You can give

12:27

people in your life a chance or

12:29

you can go find other communities to

12:32

be a part of as they say

12:34

no and supports you quite as hard

12:36

as a stranger on. The internet

12:38

and the resilience and coping skills

12:40

of your community influences you're coping

12:43

to. This is why Silver communities

12:45

are so critical because we learn

12:47

from the wisdom of the group

12:50

and we see examples of people

12:52

using healthy coping skills. And being

12:54

resilient, I see this all the

12:56

time. In my community where people

12:58

are trying to learn coping skills

13:00

and they learn from other people

13:03

in the group and the find

13:05

a new tool that helps. I'm

13:07

not drink, I always felt like

13:09

I had to keep everything to

13:11

myself, that people would never understand

13:13

me and that I should be

13:15

strong enough to handle it alone.

13:17

But when I was finally committed

13:19

to giving up drinking, that's when

13:21

I really began reaching out and

13:23

looking for support. Analyzing my own

13:25

experience, I would. Say, my resistance to

13:27

getting support was partly because I was

13:30

still trying to protect my drinking. I

13:32

dabbled in support and I was a

13:34

member of some online groups, but I

13:37

didn't support elders. I just showed up

13:39

when I needed a little boost because

13:41

I had a bad night and then

13:43

I'd go back on my way. When

13:46

I really quit, I could let my

13:48

drinking out into the light and show

13:50

at other people and be there for

13:52

them. I integrated into my support systems.

13:55

I started caring for others. And being

13:57

there for them to just getting more

13:59

support. Even only enough though

14:01

the cuter Than Nineteen review

14:04

published an addiction. Area studies

14:06

are people with alcohol use

14:08

disorder and people who are

14:10

high rask but never to

14:12

help an addiction and found

14:14

that when drinkers get sober

14:16

and more resilient, lose who

14:18

stay sober are able to

14:20

recruit more areas of the

14:22

brain. Recruiting more parts on

14:24

their brain allows you to

14:26

control your impulses, regulate emotions,

14:28

and refrain. This is an

14:30

idea that I'm working on

14:32

right now. Addiction simplifies the

14:34

brain. And we need to

14:37

make our brains more complex in

14:39

recovery. so stay tuned for more

14:41

episodes on that studies. and drinkers

14:43

who stay sober vs. Relapse Earth

14:45

have found that when presented with

14:47

an alcohol que no one should

14:49

stay sober have increased brain reactivity

14:52

to the queue in the higher

14:54

order thinking areas of the brain.

14:56

not like increased activity in the

14:58

reward system. they recruit more areas

15:00

of the brain to process and

15:02

manage the que if you to

15:04

sober. Parents. Denier skew

15:07

episode this week. Is three

15:09

skills to practice to improve your

15:11

resilience. If you don't listen to

15:14

me, five dollars. For for bonus

15:16

episodes a month and you can grab it.

15:18

And so repaired.com First. Skills

15:20

Thank you for listening and I will

15:23

treat. You. Addiction

15:47

impacts all of us. Addictions consequences run

15:49

through all of us from ourselves to

15:51

our loved ones to our communities. Addiction

15:53

free So much loss and grief when

15:56

he was doing article in on the

15:58

whole speed my podcast. The show

16:00

featuring personal stories, expert cats and vital

16:03

information about addiction and recovery all talk

16:05

with leading treatment providers to discuss the

16:07

latest research and treatment options for this

16:10

devastating disease and advocate from Is Hop

16:12

awareness. We discuss topics like the importance

16:14

of creating a community of support to

16:17

helping loved ones to some of the

16:19

latest research on psychedelic medicines. Typically my

16:21

podcast he has been about creating Whole

16:24

Procedure Story the many amazing people that

16:26

have overcome addiction and are thriving. If

16:28

you are a loved. One is struggling

16:30

with addiction subscribed to the addicted my

16:32

part ask where every. Or

16:35

out like.com New episodes every

16:37

Monday. See a there.