0:07

Welcome to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast,

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a relaxing and informative show where

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we explore anxiety, panic and PTSD,

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sharing how you can overcome them

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for life. Aloha,

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welcome back to the Anxiety

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Coaches Podcast. I'm your

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host and coach Gina Ryan, and I

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am so happy to be with

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you again today as together

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we can consider the many

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ways to bring your mind

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and body back to its

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natural peace and calm. In

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today's episode, I'm talking about

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practical steps from clear

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weeks to embrace anxiety.

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Again, this is part

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two of acceptance.

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And if you missed part

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one, that's 997 where I

1:00

talked about the

1:03

insights on acceptance and overcoming

1:05

anxiety from the clear week's

1:07

point of view. Now

1:09

Dr. Claire Weeks' revolutionary

1:12

approach to anxiety emphasizes

1:15

the transformative power of

1:18

acceptance. And in

1:21

today's episode, we're going to

1:23

explore the practical steps and

1:25

practices inspired by Dr. Weeks'

1:27

teachings, guiding us

1:30

all on the path

1:32

to embracing anxiety and

1:34

fostering calm acceptance. I

1:37

want you to hear those words, calm

1:39

acceptance. So

1:41

first off, we want to educate ourselves

1:43

and we want to acquire knowledge about

1:46

anxiety. And anyone listening to this show

1:48

I know is already

1:50

doing that. This would have

1:52

been important for me to see because

1:54

back in the day, it was hard

1:57

to acquire knowledge about anxiety. I had

1:59

to stumble around. for a long time

2:01

trying to find information

2:03

on actually what was even going on

2:06

with me. So understand

2:08

the physiological processes

2:10

and mechanisms behind anxiety.

2:13

And we talk a lot about that here in

2:16

other episodes. Knowledge

2:18

becomes your armor, helping

2:20

you confront anxiety with a

2:22

sense of understanding rather

2:25

than fear. Can you see the difference

2:27

there? These are all

2:29

the little tiny directional

2:31

changes that we have to

2:34

take, moving from fear

2:38

to understanding. We

2:41

learn something new every single day. And

2:44

I have learned so much from

2:46

doing the show. Not only

2:48

do I know what worked for me,

2:50

now I know what works and helps

2:52

thousands of people. When

2:55

I'm doing all my research, I ran

2:57

into the Polyvagal Theory and

2:59

that's from Dr. Steven Porges

3:01

and I found it very

3:04

helpful in working with anxiety.

3:07

In the Polyvagal Theory, Dr.

3:09

Porges describes the

3:12

process in which our neural circuits

3:15

read cues of danger

3:17

in our environment as

3:20

neuroception. And

3:22

through this process of neuroception,

3:25

we are experiencing the world

3:27

in a way in which

3:29

we are involuntarily scanning

3:32

situations and people to

3:34

determine if they are safe

3:36

or dangerous. Now,

3:39

I know that this involuntarily

3:42

scanning situations and people to

3:44

determine if they are safe or

3:47

dangerous will sound very

3:49

familiar to many of you. That

3:52

is where I lived. I was

3:55

scanning. And

3:57

this is what we do

3:59

naturally. And understanding

4:02

this polyvagal theory

4:04

and that this is not

4:06

something broken or wrong with us,

4:08

but how can we work with

4:10

it and get through and cope

4:13

in different ways is really

4:17

relieving because for a

4:19

lot of people they get like a

4:21

diagnosis or somebody tells them they're maybe

4:24

not even an official diagnosis that

4:26

they have anxiety and it sounds

4:28

so scary and life threatening

4:30

and you're weird and broken and

4:33

wrong and you're not. Your

4:35

brain is doing what it needs to do.

4:37

We just need to make some little changes

4:40

along the way to help you

4:43

get to the other side and

4:45

acceptance is a huge piece of

4:47

this. And acceptance starts

4:50

with acknowledging and

4:52

facing our anxious feelings. And

4:55

we discussed a lot of this in episode

4:57

987 and 988 when I was talking about

4:59

facing anxiety

5:03

from Claire Weeks's point of view. Now

5:06

instead of suppressing or

5:08

avoiding our anxious

5:11

feelings, you want to

5:13

allow yourself to experience these

5:15

emotions and feelings without

5:18

judgment. Those are key words. Without

5:21

judgment. Most of us

5:23

are not doing that. If we're staying

5:25

in the fear anxiety, fear

5:28

cycle, we are not there because

5:30

we are not judging ourselves.

5:32

We are telling ourselves a story

5:35

about ourselves. So I

5:37

want you to recognize that these

5:39

feelings that are coming up, these

5:41

anxious feelings are a part of you, but

5:44

they do not define you. So

5:47

Dr. Weeks coined the term second fear. You

5:49

heard me talk a little bit about that

5:51

in episode 997 to describe the

5:53

additional fear

5:57

individuals create around the

5:59

world. anxiety intensifying

6:01

the cycle. This is

6:03

like wood on the fire.

6:06

These are logs on the fire. This

6:09

keeps it going and

6:11

raging. Identify instances where

6:14

you add unnecessary fear

6:16

to your anxiety. Run that through

6:18

your mind. Maybe even journal

6:21

about that. It might be interesting to

6:23

see. This

6:25

is the first step in breaking

6:28

the cycle or interrupting the

6:30

cycle. Another way to

6:32

be more aware is to be more

6:34

mindful and practice that

6:37

through meditation. Through

6:40

sitting with this mind, being

6:43

with this mind that is causing

6:45

us some struggle because

6:47

we are reacting to it, we

6:51

can become more mindful through

6:53

our meditation practice. Lots

6:55

of shows here about that for you. Now

7:00

actively work on stopping

7:02

the fear associated

7:04

with the anxiety. We

7:07

are not going to stop the

7:09

situations. This is where people usually

7:12

go. They just stop driving. They

7:14

stop going to the grocery store.

7:16

They stop going in elevators around

7:18

planes, taking medicine, going

7:21

to the doctor, whatever your thing is. We

7:23

all have it. You

7:25

want to understand that

7:28

you want to work on stopping

7:30

the fear that's

7:33

associated with the anxiety, not

7:35

the activities. It's

7:37

the fear that's the problem, not the

7:39

plane. Understand

7:42

that fear fuels the

7:44

cycle and it weakens your ability

7:46

to overcome it at the same

7:48

time. So you're not just

7:50

causing the little fire to roar

7:52

when you throw more logs on

7:54

it. You are also weakening your

7:56

own ability to overcome it at

7:58

the same time. because

8:01

you are retreating or coming

8:03

up with very unhealthy coping

8:05

mechanisms. So make

8:07

a conscious decision to stop

8:10

feeding into the fearful thoughts

8:12

and responses. This

8:14

is not Pollyanna. This is health.

8:17

This is well-being. This is

8:19

self-care. Make that

8:21

conscious decision to stop feeding

8:24

into those fearful thoughts and

8:26

responses. Stop and ask

8:28

yourself if you are throwing another log

8:31

on the anxious fire. Dr.

8:34

Weeks emphasizes the importance

8:36

of the initial desire to

8:39

be unafraid. Even

8:41

if you still experience fear,

8:44

make up your mind to wish

8:46

for freedom from it. This is a

8:49

fascinating part of her ability

8:51

to help people get through this and

8:54

come out the other side and live

8:56

a peaceful life. The initial

8:59

desire to be unafraid.

9:02

So even if you're still experiencing

9:04

the fear, make up your mind

9:06

to wish for freedom from it.

9:09

I would see that inside me as a prayer.

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Other people would see it as an affirmation. So

9:14

look at it however serves you

9:17

best, but feel that

9:19

desire to be unafraid. This

9:22

simple wish sets the stage

9:24

for the journey toward calm

9:28

acceptance. Now

9:30

this is big with clear weeks. That's where

9:32

we're going toward. Calm

9:34

acceptance. We're not white

9:36

knuckling it. Desire

9:38

can go a long way when we're

9:41

trying to get ourselves started on a

9:43

new and unfamiliar path.

9:45

We have to have that desire.

9:47

In the business world everybody would

9:50

say what's your why? Why do

9:52

you want to do this? That

9:54

will be the fuel that keeps

9:56

you going forward. Dr. Weeks

10:00

highlights that calm

10:02

acceptance is the

10:04

ultimate goal. Although challenging,

10:06

direct your thoughts toward acceptance.

10:10

Remind yourself that it's okay to

10:13

feel anxious. This is where a big

10:15

part of the problem comes in. We think, oh my

10:17

god, I shouldn't feel like this. This

10:19

means something's wrong with me. I'm broken. Oh

10:22

my god, what's wrong with me? Nothing

10:25

is wrong with you. It is

10:28

okay to feel anxious. And

10:31

remind yourself also that you

10:33

are not striving for instant

10:35

results. Calm acceptance

10:38

will follow in time.

10:40

Now remember in the last show I

10:42

said, practice makes

10:44

progress. We're not looking for

10:46

perfection. Understand

10:49

that acceptance is not

10:51

merely putting up with

10:53

anxiety. We're not

10:55

putting up with it. We're not

10:57

just living with it, sweating through each

10:59

day. Another way of saying it is,

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I want you to stop white knuckling

11:04

your way through. I have

11:06

worked with many, many professionals

11:09

who have very high power jobs

11:12

that have been white knuckling

11:14

through their anxiety for many

11:16

years. And they

11:18

are exhausted. And I was

11:21

the one to tell them, you don't have to

11:23

white knuckle your way through anymore. You

11:26

can get through this. You're not going to put

11:28

up with it anymore. You're going

11:30

to have calm acceptance of

11:33

this issue and get through

11:35

the other side. Because acceptance

11:39

is a proactive step that

11:41

calms the mind, slowing

11:43

down the flow of

11:45

adrenaline. This is our

11:48

mind working on

11:50

our body. Nothing else.

11:52

There was nothing from the outside that

11:54

made that flow of adrenaline happen.

11:57

It most likely was your

11:59

interpretation. of what

12:01

that thing was or even Nothing

12:04

outside you at all. Just your

12:06

mind conjuring up

12:08

all kinds of Scary

12:11

negative thoughts that gets the body

12:13

into a state of fight or

12:15

flight I want you to

12:17

learn how to distinguish between

12:20

passively enduring anxiety and

12:24

actively accepting it to initiate

12:27

your true recovery You

12:30

don't have to endure this

12:32

you don't have to put up

12:35

with it or white knuckle it You

12:38

can actively accept what is going

12:40

on and move on to the

12:42

next level when

12:44

panic or Frightening symptoms

12:47

arise and they will They

12:50

will Life does not

12:52

stop happening because we are working on

12:54

our anxiety. I Want

12:56

you to challenge your natural

12:59

instincts to tense up and

13:01

resist That's

13:03

what we naturally we are built

13:05

like that why for survival But

13:09

the way the body is working now

13:12

is not in tune with this life that

13:14

we are living here in our

13:18

email Notifications are

13:21

not Tigers Bearing their teeth

13:23

at us. They are emails,

13:25

but our body is reacting in the same

13:27

way So that's

13:29

a perfect place for you to

13:31

challenge your natural instinct to

13:34

tense up and resist instead I

13:36

want you to adopt a different attitude

13:38

one of Okay,

13:41

come on then do your worst,

13:43

but I am not going to

13:45

respond to your nonsense That's

13:47

a direct quote from Claire weeks I'll

13:50

say it again from Claire weeks Okay,

13:53

come on then do your worst But

13:56

I am NOT going to respond to

13:58

your nonsense When

14:01

that heart starts beating and your hands

14:03

start sweating and

14:05

your breath is getting short and you

14:07

are simply sitting there at your computer looking

14:09

at your email, this is

14:11

the perfect time to tell it, bring

14:13

it on. Or you're running away.

14:16

I used to want to run away from it. I

14:18

felt like I had to run away. I

14:20

needed to stop and turn

14:22

around and face it and

14:25

then say to it, okay, come

14:27

on then, do your worst but

14:29

I'm not going to respond to

14:31

your nonsense. It's

14:34

a whole change of attitude and

14:37

the mind and the body will

14:39

respond. It's amazing. So

14:42

challenge the instinct to fight and

14:45

instead embrace a mindset

14:47

of acceptance. This

14:49

is what is happening. And

14:52

now true acceptance involves

14:55

relaxing into the feelings

14:58

and letting go of the need

15:00

to struggle against them. Many

15:03

of us who struggle for a long

15:05

time with anxiety have, you know, we

15:07

have different parts of our personality that

15:09

probably helped us to get to that

15:11

place, which are things like we like

15:13

to control things. We might be people

15:15

who don't want to let go. We

15:17

want to struggle and figure

15:19

everything out and make it perfect

15:21

and that can get us into

15:23

a lot of trouble. So true

15:25

acceptance involves you relaxing into the

15:27

feeling and letting go of that

15:29

need to struggle against those

15:32

feelings. Imagine

15:34

it as floating in the water to recover

15:37

rather than fighting against the

15:39

current. Let go

15:41

and let the current take you.

15:43

It's okay. Let go

15:46

and float. We

15:48

don't want to fight against the current.

15:52

The complete giving up of

15:54

doing anything is key

15:57

to embracing calm acceptance. Giving

16:00

up of doing anything. You don't

16:02

need to do anything. Let

16:05

go. Doing

16:07

and fixing and trying to control those

16:09

are the things that may have gotten

16:11

us deeper down the wormhole. So

16:14

now it's our job to give that up. Understand

16:18

that recovery from anxiety is

16:21

a super gradual process that

16:24

will require time and persistence.

16:28

Acceptance is a common symptom of nervous

16:30

illness or anxiety or chronic stress,

16:33

however you want to say it.

16:35

So I want you to practice

16:37

patience with yourself. Each

16:40

step toward acceptance is a seed

16:43

of recovery. By

16:45

incorporating these practical steps and practices

16:48

inspired by the wonderful

16:50

Dr. Claire Weeks, we can all

16:52

embark on a transformative journey

16:55

toward embracing anxiety

16:57

with calm acceptance.

17:00

As you integrate these principles into

17:03

your daily life, remember

17:05

that each person's path to

17:07

recovery is going to be

17:09

unique and progress is

17:11

made one step at a time.

17:15

You can do this. And

17:18

now for today's quote. A

17:24

setback is part of recovery

17:27

and that's from Claire Weeks. I'll

17:30

be back in a few more days with another

17:32

podcast. Until then, be

17:35

well and aloha. Thanks

17:39

so much for joining us

17:41

for today's episode of the

17:43

Anxiety Coaches Podcast. Find more

17:45

information at theanxietycoachespodcast.com. Thank

17:48

you.