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o-l-l-y.com. Welcome

1:03

to the Anxiety Coaches Podcast, a

1:06

relaxing and informative show where we

1:08

explore anxiety, panic, and PTSD, sharing

1:10

how you can overcome them for

1:13

life. Aloha.

1:20

Welcome back to the Anxiety Coaches

1:22

Podcast. I'm your host and

1:25

coach Gina Ryan, and I am

1:27

so happy to be with you

1:29

again today as together

1:31

we can consider the many

1:33

ways to bring your mind

1:35

and body back to its

1:37

natural peace and calm. In

1:39

today's episode, I wanted to

1:42

talk a bit about getting beyond

1:44

our worry. It's a

1:46

natural tendency, and I know we all do a little

1:48

bit of it, and we

1:50

just don't want to spend

1:52

our entire life in

1:55

that future thinking, in

1:58

that negative expectation. expectation

2:00

of life. So I

2:02

was hoping we could talk beyond worry and

2:05

more about finding happiness in

2:07

the present. So

2:10

it really is easy to get caught

2:12

up in planning our future. We're

2:14

meant to do that. We make goals.

2:16

We have expectations

2:19

in life. But again, like I just

2:21

said, we don't want to spend our days in

2:24

negative expectation. And

2:26

when we are caught in anxiety,

2:29

the point there is that we

2:31

are no longer just planning

2:34

or even watching out for

2:36

pitfalls that might happen. We

2:38

are obsessed with them. All

2:41

we can think about is

2:43

what might happen that is

2:45

dangerous, that is negative, that

2:48

is painful. And that

2:50

is because we are caught

2:53

physically and emotionally

2:55

in this

2:57

place where our amygdala

3:00

is seeking to keep us

3:02

safe because we are sending

3:04

those messages that we

3:06

are somehow in danger. Everything

3:09

is working. It's just working

3:12

an autopilot

3:15

without going back into the

3:17

rest and digest parasympathetic

3:20

side of your nervous system, which

3:22

is where you want to live.

3:26

So what happens is the amygdala

3:28

is stuck on emergency.

3:31

That's it. So we

3:33

want to pet the lizard, pet that

3:35

amygdala lizard and just say, it's okay.

3:37

I appreciate your help,

3:39

but you can rest now. I've

3:42

got this. And there's

3:44

a lot of ways we can do that. And

3:46

one of them is to be aware of these

3:48

negative expectations that we can

3:50

find ourselves in. Now another episode I

3:53

want to talk more about expectations

3:56

in and of itself along

3:58

with goals. But today I

4:00

really wanted to start on the positive

4:03

note and really see

4:05

how we can find happiness

4:07

in the present. So, planning

4:09

for a secure and happy

4:11

future is super important and

4:14

we need to do it. We all would

4:16

go on vacation. Before we

4:18

do that, we planned, right? We weren't

4:21

on the vacation, but we were planning

4:23

in the present moment. So,

4:26

planning for a secure and happy future

4:28

is something that we all do and

4:30

it's important for us to do. But

4:33

then again, too much attention

4:35

to a time that is

4:37

yet to come, that future

4:40

can greatly inhibit our ability

4:42

to focus on the here

4:44

and now. It

4:46

takes us out of the present

4:49

moment and takes us into our

4:51

imagination in a future

4:53

of horrors because

4:56

when you're anxious, that's where the

4:58

mind can go sometimes. And

5:00

I'm not talking about a little bit of worry. I'm

5:02

talking about a lot of bit of worry, right? So,

5:05

this kind of thinking takes us

5:07

close to the anxious

5:10

behaviors and possibly a trip

5:12

down the wormhole where we

5:14

feel stuck and we can't

5:16

seem to even shift

5:18

our mind into thinking

5:21

thoughts of a different

5:23

color. It's all dark. So,

5:26

let's get beyond worry and see

5:28

how we might take each

5:30

day as it comes. Right

5:34

now, at this very moment, you

5:36

can begin to enjoy

5:39

your everyday life that

5:41

is currently flashing unnoticed

5:43

right before your eyes. Yes,

5:46

it's right here. The

5:48

present moment is here and you

5:50

can enjoy it. But

5:52

we're so caught up in the

5:54

future when we're anxious and

5:57

in a scary future that we let

5:59

the current beauty and

6:01

happiness that is right before us disappear.

6:05

So let the future come naturally and

6:09

live joyfully and willingly in the

6:11

present moment. It does take some

6:13

practice. If you've been anxious

6:15

for a long time, your mind

6:17

is just set on that track

6:20

to look for the problem. It's

6:22

okay to look for the problem.

6:25

We just don't want to be obsessed

6:27

with it so that that's all we

6:29

think about and all of the joy

6:31

of the present moment eludes us. It

6:34

may sound out of reach right

6:37

now, but with small intentional steps,

6:40

we can all move in the

6:42

direction of living a more peaceful,

6:44

joyful life in the

6:46

present moment. When we

6:49

do that moment after

6:51

moment after moment,

6:53

all there is are these moments. And

6:58

so if we can begin to

7:01

intentionally move

7:03

in the direction of paying

7:06

attention to what is peaceful and

7:08

joyful right now, we

7:10

begin to stay there more and more.

7:14

And that negative thinking rests.

7:17

The amygdala goes back to

7:19

sleep. It stands

7:21

down. It's not

7:23

that it was doing something wrong to you, but

7:26

it was on overdrive. So

7:28

let it rest. Let

7:30

it stand down. And

7:32

when you don't need to be running from a

7:34

tiger, let yourself

7:37

fall back into your parasympathetic

7:39

nervous system of

7:42

rest and digest and

7:45

let yourself enjoy everything that

7:47

there is before you. So

7:50

I thought it would be fun to share

7:52

these five reasons that I have for you

7:55

that you should start living in

7:57

the here and now. Yes, this is

7:59

a should. I want you

8:01

to do these things because

8:03

they will bring you to a

8:05

more peaceful place in your life.

8:07

And if you're listening to this,

8:09

I believe that that

8:11

is what you are looking for. Reason

8:15

number one, each day we

8:17

grow older. Every

8:21

day of our life has

8:23

the ability to be monumental.

8:26

But each day only happens

8:29

once. Every

8:31

moment of every day we're given

8:33

a chance to make a lasting

8:35

memory. Create

8:38

a memory that you'll be happy

8:40

to remember and share with

8:43

others. It's all

8:45

up to us. If

8:47

we're concerned about the future, we

8:50

can start paving the road for

8:52

it today. That

8:55

road starts by living our life

8:57

to the fullest degree at

8:59

this very moment. So

9:02

that years to come in that

9:04

future time, we will

9:07

feel fulfilled from what we did

9:09

today, this

9:11

little moment, what we did moment

9:14

by moment by moment. Well,

9:17

give us that future that we are

9:19

so worried and concerned

9:21

about. If we

9:24

do our living today, we

9:26

will build that beautiful future.

9:30

The second reason is because we

9:33

replace worry with contentment.

9:37

With the future comes uncertainty,

9:40

lots of uncertainty. We don't know.

9:43

No one knows. No one can

9:45

foresee it for us. However,

9:47

if we focus on today

9:50

rather than tomorrow, we'll

9:52

inherently stop worrying about what's

9:55

to come and

9:57

focus on enjoying and

9:59

being in it. fully the

10:01

reality of now. So

10:05

we replace our worry with

10:07

the contentment that we feel

10:09

with this present moment. Just

10:12

now see if you can feel that.

10:15

Can you feel somewhere inside

10:17

you a sense of

10:20

contentment, a little bit

10:22

of joy and replace

10:25

that worry that you

10:27

might have been having earlier. Go

10:29

back to that thought again. Go back

10:32

to that feeling. It's a feeling

10:34

in your body is in the

10:36

present moment. That's why our body

10:38

is so important for us to

10:40

find our way out of the

10:42

wormhole because our body cannot

10:45

be in the future and this body

10:47

that you're in cannot be in the

10:49

past. It's been there

10:52

but it's not there right now. So

10:54

we use our body and the feeling

10:56

that you have in your body of

10:58

joy, of contentment, of

11:01

just okayness.

11:04

Let that feeling bubble up in you

11:07

and come back to that because that's

11:09

your present moment. The

11:12

third reason that you should start living

11:14

in the here and now is that

11:17

you get to know yourself. You

11:20

get to know your wants and your

11:22

needs and your interests because

11:25

they're constantly evolving. Those

11:28

wants, needs, and interests are not

11:31

what they were five

11:33

years ago, one year ago, even

11:35

yesterday. And if

11:38

we're wrapped up in planning for

11:40

tomorrow, we may never truly

11:42

get to know the

11:44

person that we are today. Spend

11:47

some time in that. When

11:50

you care about something, you spend time with

11:52

it and you want to know more about

11:54

it. So

11:56

get to know yourself even better by spending

11:59

time with it. spending time with

12:01

yourself in today,

12:04

in this beautiful, beautiful present

12:06

moment. It

12:09

reminds me of a quote from

12:11

Mother Teresa, and she said, yesterday

12:13

is gone. Tomorrow

12:16

has not yet come. We

12:20

have only today. Let

12:23

us begin. I

12:25

just love that. Let us begin.

12:29

When you can have fallen down

12:31

a hundred times, that's okay. Just

12:34

begin again. Stand

12:36

up and begin and say,

12:39

today, right now, I

12:41

am going to move beyond worry.

12:45

I'm going to find happiness in the

12:47

present, and you just do it. Like

12:50

I said, go to the body, if you

12:52

must, for that feeling

12:55

of the present moment. There

12:57

is some goodness there in your body. Back

13:01

in the day, when I was

13:03

trying desperately to find things that could ground

13:05

me in the present moment, and

13:08

then I could feel like I had

13:10

a grasp

13:13

on my mind and body in

13:15

the present moment, I

13:17

would flip it around. Maybe I couldn't

13:19

find something grand and beautiful to be

13:21

thinking of, so I would think,

13:24

isn't it wonderful? I don't have a toothache.

13:27

It's amazing that we

13:30

don't think of those things, but boy, do you think

13:32

about your teeth when you have a toothache. Boy,

13:35

I don't have a toothache. I don't have a headache. If

13:39

you can't find the positive one, go

13:42

to the, I don't have the negative. Build.

13:46

You can begin today. Let

13:49

us begin, as Mother Teresa said.

13:54

By defining yourself in the here

13:56

and now, you'll be able to truly

13:58

figure out what you want. It's

14:01

common to be so deep into

14:03

nurturing a plan for the

14:05

future that you created maybe

14:07

years ago without realizing

14:10

that it's far different

14:12

from your ideal

14:14

life today. This is common.

14:16

I hear this a lot. People

14:19

get on a track sometimes

14:21

when they're very young and

14:23

they don't change. They don't

14:25

check in with themselves. This

14:28

is why you've got to get to know yourself.

14:31

And like Mother Teresa said, let

14:34

us begin. We only have today.

14:38

Don't get stuck in that plan that you

14:40

had years ago. It's okay

14:43

to reassess. It's okay

14:45

to have a little meeting

14:47

with yourself and maybe with

14:49

your journal and start writing out what

14:52

is it that I want today? Those

14:55

plans that I had, that track I was

14:57

on got me to this place and

15:00

now it's time to reassess. When we're in

15:02

business, we look at what we want to

15:04

do in chunks, right? We

15:06

look and look at years or

15:08

then we can look at quarters

15:10

and now we can look at

15:12

the month. But we're always reassessing

15:14

because things need to change along

15:16

with our circumstances and who

15:19

we have grown to be as a person.

15:23

And the fourth reason that I

15:25

have for you that you should

15:27

start living in the here and

15:29

now is that you will spend

15:31

more time with your loved ones.

15:34

Like if you're a parent,

15:36

you know better than anyone

15:38

that those precious moments disappear

15:41

in the blink of an eye. One

15:44

moment you're changing your first diaper

15:46

with your beautiful little baby. And

15:48

the next thing you know, you're

15:51

watching your children forge ahead on

15:53

their own, living their own big

15:55

lives. And it goes

15:58

by in a snail. in

16:01

the blink of an eye and

16:03

this goes for all of our

16:05

relationships. So give yourself

16:08

and your loved ones the gift

16:10

of being present. And

16:14

the fifth and final reason that I have

16:16

that you should start living in the here

16:18

and now is that you experience

16:22

all life has to offer when you do

16:24

that. You only have

16:26

one life to live. It's

16:29

important to savor every

16:31

moment by experiencing each

16:34

moment to its fullest.

16:37

This is the time to be

16:40

spontaneous. Explore what brings you

16:42

and your loved ones

16:44

joy and happiness and

16:46

enjoy the process. Life

16:49

is absolutely beautiful. It's

16:53

joyous and full of

16:55

abundance along with its

16:57

struggles and challenges.

17:00

But we often only look

17:02

at the negative. There

17:05

are so many meaningful things

17:07

that happen in your everyday

17:10

existence. However,

17:12

your mind or my

17:14

mind is trapped in the future. All

17:17

of these events and all of

17:19

this beauty and abundance will flip

17:21

by before we ever

17:24

have been able to notice

17:26

that they're gone. So

17:28

I'd love for you to experiment

17:30

to experiment by living in

17:32

the now by moving

17:36

beyond worry and finding

17:38

happiness in the

17:40

present. I hope today's

17:42

show was helpful for you. You know that

17:44

I love being here with you and I

17:47

look forward to being with you in another

17:49

episode before you know it. And

17:53

now for today's quote. The

18:00

secret of health for both mind and

18:02

body is not to

18:04

mourn for the past, nor to

18:07

worry about the future, but

18:09

to live the present moment

18:12

wisely and earnestly. And

18:15

that's from the Buddha. I'll be

18:18

back in a few more days with another podcast.

18:21

Until then, be well and

18:23

aloha. Thanks

18:26

so much for joining us for

18:28

today's episode of the Anxiety Coaches

18:31

Podcast. Find more information at theanxietycoachespodcast.com.

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