0:07

Welcome to the Anxiety Coaches podcast!

0:09

Relaxing and informative shows where we

0:12

explore anxiety and and Ptsd sharing

0:14

how you can overcome them for

0:16

a life. Know.

0:23

How will come back to

0:25

the Anxiety Coaches Podcast! I'm

0:27

your host and coach Geno

0:29

Ryan and I am so

0:31

happy to be with you

0:33

again. Today is together We

0:35

can consider the many ways

0:37

to bring your mind and

0:39

body bear to it's natural

0:41

peace and calm. In.

0:43

Today's episode I'm talking

0:45

about strategies for finding

0:48

more peace and calm.

0:50

Now. I wanted to start

0:53

out by talking about the

0:55

larger picture and then later

0:57

on in wanna get a

0:59

little bit more granular and

1:01

things that you can actually

1:03

see happening in your life

1:05

to do those larger things

1:07

that we are talking about.

1:09

Because managing anxiety and finding

1:11

peace and calm in those

1:13

times of distress can be

1:15

really challenging. but life is

1:18

stressful and we are going

1:20

to have stressful. Moments and

1:22

all kinds of events

1:24

and things happening in

1:26

our life that we

1:28

really. Don't. Have a

1:30

lot of control over so

1:33

we need to know how

1:35

to handle this. And it

1:37

isn't really managing our anxiety

1:39

as much as we are

1:41

managing the stress. And man

1:43

a jane our response because

1:45

the anxiety just comes of

1:48

it's own. It isn't a

1:50

thing that we need to

1:52

corral or beat with a

1:54

stick, it's just something that

1:56

comes naturally after we have

1:58

set ourselves up. and

2:01

let ourselves interpret

2:03

things that might be able to

2:06

have been looked at in a

2:08

different manner, without so much fear

2:10

and so many scary thoughts. So

2:14

there are strategies that we can do

2:16

that can be helpful, and so I

2:18

thought I'd go over some of the

2:21

bigger things first. Now, I talk about

2:23

these things here and there throughout the

2:25

episodes, but I wanted

2:27

to corral them together here, and

2:30

the first one up is our

2:32

breathing. Now,

2:34

with our breathing, we're going to see

2:36

all kinds of different ways to breathe

2:39

online and in the books that

2:41

you read and other podcasts that you listen

2:43

to, and so the thing

2:45

that I want you to remember most

2:47

of all is to have a

2:50

longer and slower exhale.

2:52

You hear me say it all

2:54

the time, because then the

2:56

inhale will take care of itself, and

2:59

we don't have to force the air

3:01

down into our lower lungs. If

3:04

our belly is relaxed and we

3:06

have had a long, slow

3:08

exhale, our inhale will

3:11

go deeper. As

3:13

long as that belly is relaxed, but you know

3:15

when we are tense, when we are in

3:17

distress, we are clenched

3:19

down, so it is a

3:21

thing that we have to hold in

3:23

our head is that can I physically

3:26

relax my belly? Can I

3:28

relax those muscles so that

3:30

my breath can be what it

3:32

needs to be for this time

3:34

and this situation? So

3:37

keep in mind that it's a longer,

3:39

slower exhale. I have a client today

3:41

whose mother had shared with him a

3:45

nice little way of remembering how

3:48

to breathe when you are struggling or

3:50

stressed out, and she had told

3:52

him to breathe in, smell

3:56

the daisies, and

3:58

blow out the candles. I believe

4:00

that's what it is. If I got it wrong,

4:02

I am so sorry because I'm sure you're listening.

4:05

So see if you can

4:07

remember that. Sometimes we need a little

4:09

visualization like that to remember because when

4:11

we are blowing out candles, what are

4:13

we doing? We take that breath and

4:16

we puff out of our cheeks and

4:18

we purse our lips and we blow it

4:20

all out. And it's long

4:23

and we can make it slow so

4:25

that we can get all the candles blown

4:28

out. So see if

4:30

that helps you to remember in

4:32

those distressing moments to

4:34

take a longer and slower exhale.

4:38

Thank you to my client who shared that with me

4:40

today, by the way. Now, next

4:43

one up is your mindfulness and

4:45

your meditation. By practicing mindfulness

4:48

to be able to stay present

4:50

in the moment, even

4:52

if it is focusing on your breath, you

4:56

can learn to see your

4:58

thoughts. Don't need to push them away.

5:00

Don't need to get rid of them. That's never

5:02

going to happen, but you

5:04

can just let them pass by. Or

5:07

if they decide they want to stay for a

5:09

while, let them stay. You don't

5:12

have to fuss with them. Just

5:14

see them. When

5:16

you do that, you are meditating. That

5:19

is mindfulness. To be in that moment

5:21

with that thought going through your head

5:24

and you can just see it. You don't have to

5:27

go on with it. You don't have to make up

5:29

a big story about it, how that's going to make

5:31

something in the future happen, or how

5:33

that came up because of something in the past. Just

5:35

let it be there and focus

5:38

on your breath again. Come back to the breath.

5:41

We need to practice this. It doesn't

5:44

happen overnight and

5:46

it doesn't happen easily without

5:48

practice. So just

5:50

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7:26

Next up would be... positive affirmations.

7:28

To be able to repeat

7:31

positive affirmations to yourself can

7:34

be helpful. Now a

7:36

lot of people think this is just too

7:38

fluffy and that's fine. You don't need to

7:40

do this. But we are

7:43

filled daily, bombarded from

7:45

the outside with

7:47

negative thoughts, images,

7:50

events. And

7:52

we also generate a lot

7:55

of our own negative thinking. It's just

7:57

how we're built. This is how things

7:59

go. So we

8:02

need to be willful

8:04

in bringing about positive

8:06

thoughts or affirmations. So

8:09

if you want to, there are

8:11

other episodes that actually list positive

8:14

affirmations. If you want to find

8:16

one or two that are your favorites or

8:18

make your own and repeat them

8:20

to yourself, it can be very

8:22

helpful to have

8:24

something positive, uplifting, coming

8:28

over and over in your head

8:30

to just change the

8:32

ratio of negative to positive

8:34

thoughts. It's not an end-all

8:36

be-all, but it certainly helps

8:39

in extinguishing some of that negative

8:41

thinking. Physical exercise

8:43

is up next because

8:45

it really is important

8:47

for us to use

8:49

our body, our physical

8:52

activity to release any

8:54

built-up tension that we have been

8:57

experiencing throughout the day. Even

8:59

a short walk can make a significant

9:02

difference. So keep that in mind when

9:04

you think, oh my gosh, what can

9:06

I do? Maybe just a

9:08

short walk. Because I remember

9:10

when I was anxious, very anxious,

9:13

I remember wanting to get up

9:15

from my place at work, my

9:17

board, and get out of the building and

9:19

go walk or run. I

9:22

didn't know why I was feeling that, but that

9:24

was the urge. I think it was my own

9:26

body's way of like, can

9:29

we release some of this tension somehow? Go

9:31

for a run. Go for a walk. Next

9:34

up would be grounding techniques. That

9:36

can be something as simple as feeling

9:39

the texture of your jacket

9:41

or an object that you are

9:43

carrying in your packet or a ring

9:45

or bracelet that you are wearing. And

9:49

also can be just concentrating on

9:51

the sensation of your breath. And

9:54

your breath is always with you, so there's

9:56

no excuse. Feel your feet

9:58

on the ground. Feel your body. self

10:01

on your chair. Really

10:03

feel where you are in

10:05

your environment. It's grounding. It gives

10:08

us a place we become

10:11

in our body instead

10:13

of in our mind and

10:15

only having a mind. Next

10:17

up would be visualizations and I

10:20

like this a lot because I

10:22

think many people are visual people

10:25

and if you could come

10:27

up with a calming scene

10:30

in your mind you know maybe it's

10:32

a forest or a beach a mountain

10:35

it could be your favorite park

10:37

whatever notice I picked natural settings

10:39

but it doesn't have to be

10:41

that your own peaceful

10:44

calm picture that

10:46

you can come up with in your

10:48

mind and have this be your go-to

10:51

maybe when you are sitting

10:54

for a minute or two to be

10:57

with your breath and have your

10:59

longer slower exhale you could actually

11:01

bring this calming

11:04

scene to mind and start

11:07

to marry the two the

11:09

calming breath along with this

11:11

beautiful visualization and

11:14

have the two become

11:16

one in the same so that if you bring

11:19

up the calming picture in your

11:21

mind your breath will begin to

11:24

go slower and longer or

11:26

if you begin to breathe longer

11:29

and slower the visualization may come

11:31

up into your mind we

11:33

can build these things for

11:36

ourselves and have our own

11:38

little sanctuaries next

11:40

up would be connecting with nature in real

11:43

time you could spend

11:45

time outdoors nature

11:48

has a real soothing effect on

11:50

the mind and it can really

11:52

help to reduce anxiety Sometimes

11:55

we are inside seeing four

11:57

walls and windows only for.

12:00

Very long periods of time, so

12:02

even if you can't get outside

12:04

in the middle of the day

12:06

or so weather isn't clements, you

12:08

can look out a window let.

12:11

Your gaze go further

12:13

than four walls or

12:15

the computer screen were

12:17

really making ourselves. very

12:19

small. By not being outside

12:21

and even if you don't have

12:23

a park or some beautiful natural

12:26

setting around you, that's fine. You

12:28

can look up to the sky.

12:30

Let the sky be your do.

12:33

Whatever. It is. Make some time

12:35

for it for you to connect

12:38

with nature. And

12:40

list of the big things

12:42

is eliminating stimulants. So eliminate

12:44

any stimulants that you have.

12:47

If you are finding that

12:49

you. Are experiencing what we

12:51

call. And I am doing

12:53

air quotes Anxiety if you are. Having

12:56

times where you were feeling like I'm building

12:58

up to a panic attack, there is no

13:00

place in your life. For stimulants,

13:02

I believe that this last I

13:04

heard the half life of caffeine

13:07

was seventeen hours, which would mean

13:09

that you are not really getting

13:11

sleep without caffeine in your system

13:13

which could be problematic for some

13:15

of you may be not everybody.

13:18

I am not here to tell

13:20

you that everybody needs to do

13:22

this, but I am saying if

13:24

you are dealing with quote anxiety

13:27

and afraid of going near the

13:29

wormhole of panic, I would say

13:31

eliminate. Any source of caffeine that you

13:33

may have in your life that could.

13:35

Be causing you restlessness. So

13:38

now let's move to

13:40

the smart granular side

13:43

of ways that we

13:45

can ignite some peace

13:47

and calm in our

13:49

lives. There.

13:51

Are a number of ways that

13:54

we can read, ignite our rest

13:56

and digest wing. of are nervous

13:58

system and And I'd love to hear

14:00

yours if you have additional ones

14:03

to this list. You could

14:05

send those to anxietycoachespodcast.com. I

14:08

always love hearing from you. One

14:12

would be laughter. Any

14:14

kind of laughter, let's get

14:16

ourselves laughing. And the

14:18

more of a belly laugh you can get,

14:20

the better. It is

14:23

stimulating our parasympathetic nervous

14:25

system. It is telling

14:27

your mind and body everything

14:29

is okay so

14:31

that amygdala can stand down.

14:34

That's what all of these things are going to do

14:36

that I'm talking about. Let

14:39

the laughter come. Let the amygdala go

14:41

back to sleep. And

14:44

let us enjoy the

14:47

moments of our lives without

14:49

there being that underlying current

14:51

of there's a problem. I'm

14:54

scanning the horizon. Laughter

14:57

is one way out of that. And so is

14:59

intimacy. This is a way that

15:01

we can be intimate

15:04

with people, our pets,

15:07

our way of relating to the

15:09

world in an intimate manner where

15:11

it is really important to

15:13

us and we can feel it in

15:16

our soul. Next

15:18

up would be petting your pets. Whatever

15:21

kind of pet you have, having

15:23

that intimacy with the

15:25

pet, petting them, it's tactile,

15:28

your mind and body are getting the

15:30

message that all is well. There

15:33

is no reason for the amygdala to

15:35

be ready to jump and protect you.

15:39

No need for all those stress hormones to

15:41

be raging. You are

15:43

calm and your pet is

15:45

your helper in that

15:47

way. And you are also giving them a

15:49

gift. Next up

15:51

would be gratitude. I

15:54

talk a lot about gratitude because

15:56

it doesn't cost us anything to

15:59

bring to mind. the things that

16:01

we are grateful for. Even

16:03

if all you can come up with are one or two,

16:06

do this on a daily basis

16:09

and it gets to be remarkable how

16:12

your mind will start to be looking

16:14

for things to be grateful for. You

16:17

don't have to make a

16:20

real effort with it right now. Just take

16:22

a second right now and

16:24

feel in your heart and soul what

16:27

you are grateful for. Come up with two things

16:30

in your mind and

16:32

be grateful for them on

16:34

purpose consciously. What happens

16:36

is we run through life and

16:38

all we remember are the difficulties

16:40

and the problems and the traffic

16:42

jams and whatever, whatever, but

16:44

they're negative. When we

16:46

take time for gratitude, we are

16:49

taking time to let our heart

16:51

feel the things that matter to

16:53

us and that we are grateful

16:55

for. And if you feel

16:57

to, I say write them down. Three

17:00

to five every day will change your life.

17:03

Next up would be generosity. It's important

17:05

for us to be givers.

17:08

When we help another, this

17:10

is why I think that

17:13

our ACP Facebook group is

17:15

so wonderful. When people actually

17:17

help another in that group,

17:20

yes, they're being generous and they

17:22

are helping, but they are also

17:24

getting the gift of

17:27

doing that. It is remarkable.

17:30

We get to give to someone

17:32

else and it helps us. I

17:36

want you to pay attention to where

17:38

you can be generous throughout

17:40

your day, just by giving

17:42

someone a smile, thanking

17:44

the cash register clerk. I

17:47

mean, it's kind of funny, but we've

17:49

learned to go through our days, some

17:51

of us without paying any attention

17:54

to what we're actually doing. See

17:56

if you can find a few places that you

17:59

could be generous. Next

18:01

up would be singing and this

18:03

is awesome. Singing

18:05

is going to change how you

18:07

are breathing. I remember when I

18:09

was very anxious and having to drive to

18:12

maybe pick up the kids from a party

18:15

or something from a place I was not

18:17

familiar with and I might have been really

18:19

nervous and I remember singing to myself in

18:21

the car. I don't

18:23

know what prompted me to do that because

18:26

we weren't talking about anxiety back then so

18:28

I don't think I knew anything about singing.

18:31

I think I just thought it would make me happy

18:33

and take my mind off of what I was worried

18:35

about. Singing is going

18:37

to help you. It changes how you

18:39

are breathing. It brings

18:42

you joy and

18:44

if you don't know the words to songs

18:46

I'm telling you Spotify has that little thing

18:48

that little button you can push and it

18:50

gives you all the words. I'm

18:52

telling you what we would have given

18:54

for that back in the 70s and

18:56

60s. My goodness we had to read the

18:59

album covers if they had the words

19:01

in them. Next up

19:04

would be repetitive motion activities.

19:06

This repetitive motion lets your

19:08

mind and body know all

19:10

is well. All

19:12

is well. This could be knitting.

19:14

It could be crocheting. It could be needlepoint.

19:16

I'm thinking of those off the top of

19:18

my head but any repetitive

19:21

motion and so I think you

19:24

would do well to find something like that

19:26

if you find yourself particularly

19:28

anxious in the evening. Maybe this

19:30

is a new craft or hobby you

19:32

could take up. Next

19:34

up inspirational reading that

19:36

speaks for itself. It just changes

19:39

what you're thinking about. Changes how

19:41

you're looking at the world and

19:44

then prayer and meditation. Again

19:47

those speak for themselves but it

19:49

changes the way you are thinking.

19:52

It changes how you are seeing the world.

19:55

Being quiet in nature, I think I

19:57

mentioned that earlier, are body

20:00

scan you could go to anxietycoachespodcast.com

20:02

and go to the body scan

20:04

page and get that audio

20:06

or go to YouTube there's all kinds of

20:08

them on there and your

20:11

sleep sleep can be

20:13

a way that you can ignite your

20:15

rest and digest side of your nervous

20:17

system I forgot

20:19

who it is I remember somebody back in

20:22

the day an inspirational speaker of some sort

20:24

said when you don't know what to

20:26

do take an app so take

20:28

a nap a short one because I

20:30

don't want to disrupt your sleep at

20:32

night compassion for

20:34

yourself and others is another

20:36

way light therapy

20:39

I want you to pay attention to that

20:41

especially if you live in those darker areas

20:44

of the world and

20:46

journaling and journaling joy

20:49

this is a very specific way

20:51

of journaling writing out the

20:53

things that you find are joyful

20:55

maybe you're making up stories maybe

20:57

you're writing a screenplay maybe

20:59

you are just writing joyful things that you

21:02

saw throughout your day but

21:04

writing beautiful happy joyful

21:06

things it's an exercise

21:09

it isn't an end-all be-all

21:11

but it shifts many of these

21:13

things that's what we're doing we

21:15

are shifting where our

21:17

focus is where our attention

21:19

goes that's where our energy is

21:21

when we want it to be in

21:24

a place that is life-enhancing and

21:27

that is on our rest and digest

21:29

side of our nervous system and we're

21:31

all different and we'll each have our

21:33

own favorite ways to enter the

21:35

parasympathetic nervous system wing but

21:38

the point here is to make

21:40

time and space to do it this

21:42

is not for less this is

21:44

self-care and it is healing I hope

21:48

today's show was helpful and I want to

21:50

thank each and every one of you who

21:52

have sent me emails recently you know you

21:54

are in my heart thank you and

21:57

now for today's quote Peace

22:04

comes from within, do not

22:06

seek it without. And

22:09

that's from the Buddha. I'll be

22:11

back in a few more days with another podcast.

22:14

Until then, be well and

22:16

Aloha. Thanks

22:20

so much for joining us for

22:22

today's episode of the Anxiety Coaches

22:24

Podcast. Find more information at the

22:27

anxietycoachespodcast.com